Professional Documents
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PA R T
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Effective Words
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38
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Writing Concisely
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CHAPTER
CHAPTER HIGHLIGHTS
Theres no substitute for experience when it comes to choosing the right
words, and students with limited experience in reading and writing, or
whose first language is not English, may find learning to use proper diction
a formidable hurdle. Time, encouragement, and careful explanations can
help them gain confidence. If your campus has a writing center, check to see
if it offers drills or instructional materials to help students improve their resources in language.
This chapter covers types of diction to be avoided or used with care in
formal standard American English: dialect; nonstandard grammar, punctuation, capitalization, abbreviations, and spelling common in online communication; slang; colloquialisms; regionalisms; neologisms; technical
language; pretentious language; sexist or biased language; and labels. The
chart on Eliminating sexist language (pp. 50809) should be particularly
helpful for students who have had little or spotty exposure to standards of
inclusive, nonsexist language.
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Remind students that their audience for an academic essay likely differs
from their online audience. Have them write a brief analysis of the expectations their essays audience has regarding shortcutsand remind
them that you are a member of that audience.
During peer review sessions, have students edit one anothers papers for
inappropriate shorthand.
Ask students to create a list of commonly used text shortcuts. Then, have
them translate the abbreviation into language appropriate for an academic paper. Distribute copies to students, or in a wired classroom,
post the translations for students to consult during editing.
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2004). Other topics for research reports might be the languages of rap or
rock music, of some activity (skateboarding or football), or of some social
group (fraternities, volunteer firefighters).
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translate them. You might start with Permit me to express my heartfelt felicitations on the celebration of your natal anniversary for Happy birthday or Scintillate, scintillate, asteroidal nimific for Twinkle, twinkle, little
star, and work from there.
Next, ask students to use their computer thesaurus programs to translate a professional or student-written paragraph into overly embellished
language. This exercise can provide the basis for a useful discussion of appropriate uses of the thesaurus.
After translating the paragraph into overblown language, students might
then trade paragraphs with one another and re-translate the pretentious version back into plain English. Students might then compare the new plain English versions with the originals to see how meaning is conveyed (or obscured)
by the embellished language.
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ANSWERS
EXERCISE 37.1 Revising: Appropriate words (p. 510)
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asks students to write a narrative in which they assign genders to characters from specific professions (a nurse, a physician, etc.). He uses
the results, which tend to reinforce gender stereotypes, to start a discussion about the negative impact of gender bias in writing.
Maggio, Rosalie. The Bias-Free Word Finder. Boston: Beacon, 1992. Print.
Originally published as The Dictionary of Bias-Free Usage: A Guide to
Nondiscriminatory Language. Phoenix: Oryx, 1991. Print. Maggio provides a thesaurus of bias-free synonyms for gendered terms.
Miller, Casey, and Kate Swift. The Handbook of Nonsexist Writing for Writers, Editors, and Speakers. 2nd ed. New York: HarperCollins, 1988.
Print. Miller and Swifts book is the standard handbook for people
concerned with avoiding linguistic sexism.
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38
CHAPTER HIGHLIGHTS
Chapter 38 helps students understand the value of precision in word
choice. It begins with a discussion of widely used desk and ESL dictionaries
and explains a typical entry from an abridged dictionary. Next, it describes the
difference between denotative and connotative meanings and the necessity of
knowing both kinds of meanings when choosing a word. The third section explains why maintaining balance between abstract and concrete terms, and
between general and specific terms, is an important element of good writing.
Next, the chapter treats idiomatic language. This section contains a useful
chart listing idioms and the prepositions they take, which will be helpful for
ESL students and native speakers alike. The chapter closes with sections on
figurative language and clichs. The exercises in this chapter will be easier to
complete if students use a dictionary.
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ANSWERS
EXERCISE 38.1 Using a dictionary (p. 513)
The answers to this exercise will depend on the dictionary being consulted.
Each one uses a different notation system, and in some cases they disagree
over syllable divisions. Thus, no answers are provided.
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overweight, out of money, and failing the class and ask them to come up with as
many different ways of expressing the term as possible. Then, either alone or in
groups, have them decide what connotations each synonym has, and for what
audiences and situations each might be appropriate. (Some synonyms for overweight, for instance, might be plump [neutral], tubby [probably negative], porky
[negative], and so on.)
Collaborative learning Exercises 38.2 and 38.3 When students have completed Exercises 38.2 and 38.3 individually, have them compare their answers in small groups. Encourage group members to discuss the connotation
and denotation of each of the choices, and to consider the effect on the sentence when an inappropriate word is used.
ANSWERS
EXERCISE 38.2 Revising: Denotation (p. 515)
1. Maxine Hong Kingston was awarded many prizes for her first two
books, The Woman Warrior and China Men.
2. Kingston cites her mothers tales about ancestors and ancient Chinese
customs as the sources of these memoirs.
3. In her childhood Kingston was greatly affected by her mothers tale
about a pregnant aunt who was ostracized by villagers. [Ostracized correct.]
4. The aunt gained vengeance by drowning herself in the villages water
supply.
5. Kingston decided to make her nameless relative famous by giving her
immortality in The Woman Warrior. [Immortality correct.]
EXERCISE 38.3 Considering the connotations of words (p. 515)
1.
2.
3.
4.
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ANSWERS
EXERCISE 38.4 Revising: Concrete and specific words (p. 517)
Possible revision
I remember as if it were last week how frightened I felt the first time
I crossed the threshold of Mrs. Murphys second-grade class. Just three
days before, I had moved from a rural one-street town in Missouri to a suburb of Chicago where the houses and the people were jammed together.
My new school looked monstrous from the outside and seemed forbiddingly dim inside as I walked haltingly down the endless corridor toward
the classroom. The class was clamorous as I neared the door; but when I
slipped inside, twenty faces became still and gawked at me. I felt terrified
and longed for a place to hide. However, in a booming voice Mrs. Murphy
ordered me to the front of the room to introduce myself.
EXERCISE 38.5 Using concrete and specific words (p. 517)
Possible answers
1. fabric, upholstery fabric, velvet
She chose a wine-colored velvet for backing the pillow.
2. delicious, tart, lemony
He made a meringue pie, lemony and delicately brown.
3. car, foreign car, Volvo station wagon
He bought a 1973 Volvo station wagon.
4. narrow-minded, prejudiced, sexist
My uncles sexist attitudes cause many arguments in our family.
5. reach, stretch, lunge
Each child lunged for the prize thrown by the clown.
6. green, dark green, bilious green
The algae covered the surface with a bilious green scum.
7. walk, march, goose-step
The soldiers goose-stepped menacingly.
8. flower, daisy, ox-eyed daisy
Some people call the ox-eyed daisy a brown-eyed Susan.
9. serious, solemn, grim
His grim expression frightened us.
10. pretty; with small, regular features; with a button nose and a tiny, smiling mouth
The infant, with a button nose and a tiny, smiling mouth, was a perfect
model for baby products.
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38d: Idioms
391
ANSWERS
EXERCISE 38.6 Using prepositions in idioms (p. 519)
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ANSWERS
EXERCISE 38.7 Analyzing figurative language (p. 521)
1. A delta wing out of nightmare is a metaphor. Like a stingray crossing upstream is a simile. Both convey the menace of an airplane and its
shadow.
2. Her roots ran deep into the earth and from those roots she drew strength
are both metaphors establishing the persons indomitability.
3. Outdistanced unpleasant sensations and headed for the freedom of open
fields are both metaphors equating Angelous sense of release with the
runners freedom.
4. Lash of adverse criticism is a metaphor that makes clear the power of
words to hurt.
5. The judge is like a chickadee and the roomful of writers is like a caucus of crowstwo similes that convey the judges powerlessness in the
face of the writers bombast.
EXERCISE 38.8 Using figurative language (p. 521)
Individual response.
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ANSWERS
EXERCISE 38.9 Revising: Trite expressions (p. 523)
Possible answers
1. These disasters of the war have shaken the small nation severely.
2. Prices for food have risen markedly, and citizens suspect that others
are profiting on the black market.
3. Medical supplies are so scarce that even very sick civilians cannot get
treatment.
4. With most men fighting or injured or killed, women have had to take
the mens places in farming and manufacturing.
5. Finally, the wars high cost has destroyed the nations economy.
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39
Writing Concisely
A WRITERS PERSPECTIVE
A good word is like a good tree whose roots are firmly fixed
and whose top is in the sky.
THE KORAN 14.24
CHAPTER HIGHLIGHTS
Eliminating unnecessary words is a task almost as difficult as choosing
the right word. Students often revert to very simple sentence structures when
they begin to cut flab from their sentences. Youll have to help them see that
lean sentences can still be complex sentences. This chapter can help show your
students techniques to achieve conciseness: strengthening subjects and verbs;
cutting empty words; cutting excess repetition; reducing or combining sentences, clauses, and phrases; eliminating expletives; and rewriting jargon.
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without harming the meaning. This approach can work with paragraphs as
well and makes a good small-group activity.
Computer activity The lard factor Richard Lanham in Revising Prose, 5th
ed. (New York: Longman, 2007) uses this equation to calculate the lard factor of unnecessary words in any piece of writing:
ANSWERS
EXERCISE 39.1 Revising: Subjects and verbs; empty words and phrases (p. 526)
Possible answers
1. Gerrymandering means redrawing the lines of a voting district to benefit a particular party or ethnic group.
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Collaborative learning Exercise 39.2 When students have completed Exercise 39.2 individually, have them compare their responses in small groups
and discuss the effects of their varying strategies.
ANSWERS
EXERCISE 39.2 Revising: Unnecessary repetition (p. 528)
Possible answers
1. After their tours of duty, some Vietnam veterans had problems re-adjusting to life in America.
2. Afflicted with post-traumatic stress disorder, some veterans had trouble holding jobs and maintaining relationships.
3. Some who used drugs in Vietnam could not break their habits after
they returned to the United States.
4. The few veterans who committed crimes and violent acts gained so
much notoriety that many Americans thought all veterans were crazy.
5. As a result of such stereotyping, Vietnam-era veterans are protected
by antidiscrimination laws.
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ANSWERS
EXERCISE 39.3 Revising: Conciseness (p. 530)
Possible answers
1. The Mexican general Antonio Lpez de Santa Anna introduced chewing gum to the United States.
2. After his defeat by the Texans in 1845, the exiled general chose to settle in New York.
3. In his baggage the general had stashed a piece of chicle, the dried
milky sap of the Mexican sapodilla tree.
4. Santa Annas friend Thomas Adams brought more of this resin into
the country, planning to make rubber.
5. When the plan failed, Adams got a much more successful idea from the
way General Santa Anna used the resin, as a gum for chewing.
EXERCISE 39.4 Revising: Conciseness (p. 530)
Possible answers
After much thought, he concluded that carcinogens could be treated
like automobiles. Instead of giving in to a fear of cancer, we should balance the benefits we receive from potential carcinogens (such as plastic
and pesticides) against the damage they do. Similarly, instead of responding irrationally to the pollution caused by automobiles, we have decided to
live with them and enjoy their benefits while simultaneously working to
improve them.
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40
Spelling
and the Hyphen
WRITERS PERSPECTIVES
Everyone misspells occasionally, usually because of carelessness or simple failure to observe closely. Good spelling requires
an eye for detail.
WILLIAM F. IRMSCHER
Its a poor imagination that can only think of one way to
spell a word.
ATTRIBUTED TO MARK TWAIN
CHAPTER HIGHLIGHTS
No quick formula exists for turning poor spellers into good ones. Students with serious spelling problems may need systematic instruction in
spelling, which, like systematic instruction in vocabulary, is rarely allowed
by course time. You may want to refer such students to a skills center on
campus or, if there are no such services, to a good spelling workbook. There
are, however, activities and assignments that can help. Most students can
improve their spelling markedly by learning and actually applying the limited number of standard rules, by maintaining a record of words that repeatedly cause them trouble, and by faithfully practicing brief groups of
words from a spelling list. Such advice, though uninspired and unoriginal,
does produce real improvement if a student can be persuaded to follow it,
perhaps with the added reminder that a lack of confidence in spelling distracts the student from more important matters in writing.
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Bowers Sipe discusses causes of spelling problems and offers a list of approaches to help students improve their spelling.
Other good references on teaching spelling include the following:
Brown, Alan S. Encountering Misspellings and Spelling Performance: Why
Wrong Isnt Right. Journal of Educational Psychology 80.4 (1988):
48894. Print. Brown analyzes the psychology of student misspellings.
Chomsky, Carol. Reading, Writing, and Phonology. Harvard Educational Review 40.2 (1970): 287309. Print. Chomsky ties problems with spelling and
word recognition to problems with hearing and distinguishing certain
morphemes.
Clark, Roger, and I. Y. Hashimoto. A Spelling Program for College Students.
Teaching English in the Two-Year College 11.1 (1984): 3438. Print. The
authors describe activities to help students improve spelling over the
course of a semester.
Dobie, Ann R. Orthographical Theory and Practice; or, How to Teach
Spelling. Journal of Basic Writing 5.2 (1986): 4148. Print. Responses to
this article appear in both the 1987 and 1988 volumes of this journal.
Kissell, Brian, and Karen Wood. Side Trip: The Pearls and Perils of SpellCheckers. Voices from the Middle 15.3 (2008): 3132. Print. The authors address the impact of spell-checkers on student spelling skills
and how they both benefit and hinder these skills.
Sensenbaugh, Roger. Spelling Instruction and the Use of Word Lists. Composition Chronicle 6.3 (1993): 89. Print. The author describes techniques
for helping students become better spellers.
Sipe, Rebecca Bowers, Dawn Putnam, Karen Reed- Nordwall, Tracy Rosewarne, and Jennifer Walsh. They Still Cant Spell? Understanding and
Supporting Challenged Spellers in Middle and High School. Portsmouth:
Heinemann, 2003. Print. The authors offer strategies for teaching
spelling in the context of students own writing, including keeping an
error log and teaching general rules.
Learning the rules Most spelling rules have only a few exceptions, so its
often easier for students to memorize the short list of exceptions and assume that any other word follows the normal pattern.
Irregular plurals There are a few irregular plurals in English; most survive
from Anglo-Saxon (for example, child/children) or are borrowed from other
languages (alumnus/alumni). All native English nouns added since the
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Norman Conquest of England in 1066 have been regular, using the -s or -es
suffixes to form the plural.
ANSWERS
EXERCISE 40.1 Distinguishing between ie and ei (p. 535)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
brief
deceive
receipt
seize
foreign
priest
grievance
fiend
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
leisurely
achieve
patience
pierce
height
freight
feint
sieve
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
malicious
lovable or loveable
serviceable
retirement
suing
6.
7.
8.
9.
virtuous
notable
battling
suspension
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
implies
messier
applying
delaying
defiance
6.
7.
8.
9.
says
solidifies
Murphys
supplied
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
repairing
admittance
benefited
shopped
concealed
6.
7.
8.
9.
allotted
dripping
declaimed
paralleling
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
piles
donkeys
beaches
summaries
miles per hour
boxes
switches
sisters-in-law
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
Baleses
cupfuls
librettos or libretti
videos
thieves
geese
hisses
appendixes or appendices
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According to the a-b-c rule, if the writer can make the statement The c was
a and b, no hyphen is needed. If that statement is impossible, a and b must
be hyphenated. Since the writer cant say The pace was record and setting,
record-setting pace needs to be hyphenated. The test here is similar to the one
for coordinate adjectives in 28f-2.
ANSWERS
EXERCISE 40.6 Using hyphens in compound words (p. 546)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Correct
de-escalate
forty-odd soldiers
little-known bar
seven-eighths
seventy-eight
happy-go-lucky
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
pre-existing
senator-elect
Correct
two- and six-person cars
ex-songwriter
V-shaped
re-educate