ADDICTIONA DISASTROUS FAMILY HERITAGE

By William G. Borchert

In this era of growing genetic research, scientists tell us that our genes
are essentially the predictors of our biological future. They tend to lock
us rather securely into our physical heritage through heredity
So when it comes to addiction, these scientists tell us that if we
have one parent who is an alcoholic or drug addict, we have a fifty
percent chance of inheriting the same disease. If both our parents
are addicts, we have a ninety percent chance of becoming similarly
addicted to alcohol and/or drugs.
Many who accept the premise of gene determination often try to
change or delay its impact when it comes to such obvious lifethreatening maladies such as heart disease, cancer, diabetes and
COPD. They exercise, lose weight, eat healthier and pay close
attention to the advice and warnings they receive from their doctors
and other health specialists.
Few, however, who live in the danger zone of addiction, follow the
same protocol.
In fact, too many people biologically targeted by addiction even
know or understand the warning signs of alcoholism or drug abuse.
Instead they live blithely in denial until they begin to teeter on the
edge of disaster or are already in its clutches. Even then, through
some illogical mental quirks like pride, shame, ignorance and fear,
many still believe they can handle things on their own and refuse to
reach out for help.
As I look back, thats exactly what happened in my parents family
as I was growing up and then later when I married, in my own
family. Whether some want to believe it or not, I can tell you from
firsthand experience that addiction to alcohol is a baffling, powerful
and insidious disease.
My father had five brothers. Three of them died of alcoholism.
Both of my grandfathers also died of the alcoholism as well as
my mothers mother and one of her bothers. The disease was all
around us. It ran rampant through the families yet everyone kept
on drinking and denying and making excuses for their bad behavior
and failure at life. And many of those I speak of were intelligent,
talented and hard-working people until their struggles with addiction
took them down.
Growing up in an alcoholic home is a
struggle in itself mainly because most of
the time things just dont make sense.
And its not only having a drunken father
who doesnt teach you how to play ball or
other sports like most fathers do. Its also
having a mother who gets enraged by her
husbands actions and has no one else to
take that anger out on but her children. Its
the constant arguments, screaming and
fighting that makes you hide under your bed
with a pillow covering your ears to drown it
all out, especially when there were things
you dont want to hear.
For example, one night in the middle of a
terrible argument that led to my mother
pushing and slapping my drunken father, I
heard her scream at him:
I should have never had these children!
Then I wouldnt have to put up with all of
this! I could just leave here and be rid of you
once and for all! That was another night I
went to sleep filled with fear and confusion.
It also seemed like we were constantly
moving from one rented place to another.
While my father had a fairly decent paying

job as a pressmen for a large daily newspaper, he would cash his

paychecks at bars and bring home what little was left. As a result,
he was always behind on the rent so we would have to move into
smaller, less expensive apartments.
But it wasnt just these kinds of inconveniences along with the
arguments and fights that tore into the hearts of those around
my dad and his disease. It was all the shame, fear and broken
promises that did the most damage. I can count on one hand the
number of times my father took me fishing when he promised
hundreds of times, or to a major league baseball game or to the
carnival or to a movie. Im sure deep down he meant to keep
his promises but his drinking turned him into a liar. Each broken
promise hurt that much more. And then there was the shame.
I remember it was a warm, sunny Saturday morning and I was
playing stickball in the streets of Brooklyn with my buddies. I was
probably around eleven years old. I also recall there were a bunch
of girls watching us which always made me feel uptight and selfconscious even though I was a pretty good player.
Suddenly a taxicab pulled up nearby, close to where we lived.
The passenger door opened and a man fell out into the street
totally disheveled. He was obviously drunk and had saliva oozing
down his chin. He was my father. The cab driver helped him
to his feet and half dragged him into our building. Even though
many of my friends recognized him, they couldnt help but laugh
at the shameful scene. The girls tried to hide their giggles. I felt
humiliated. I didnt know what to do.
So I started to run. I didnt know where I was going. I just needed
to get away from all the laughter and giggles, away from all the
shame. I ran and I ran until I couldnt run anymore. Then I sat down
on a large rock in a deserted field and wept. I remember how much
I hated my father at that point and swore I would never be anything
like him when I grew up.
I not only became like my father. I became worse.
Still, you would think that anyone with any sense, growing up in that
kind of atmosphere, would be determined never, ever to have a drop
of liquor even if they didnt know they had
the genes of an alcoholic raging inside. But
thats what makes the malady of addiction so
baffling, powerful and insidious.
The one thing I couldnt understand was
why my father continued to get drunk after
creating so much havoc, hurting those he
said he loved and losing so much materially
including numerous opportunities for better
jobs and advancement in life. It just didnt
make any sense.
Thats because I didnt understand at the
time that alcoholism is a threefold disease.
It affects one physically, mentally and
spiritually. An alcoholic is constantly walking
around with a drink on his mind. Its called
a mental obsession. Then once he or she
picks up a drink, a physical compulsion
takes over and they cant stop. They
become powerless over booze. One drink
is too many and a thousand arent enough.
And as they slide deeper and deeper into
addiction and become willing to do almost
anything for another drink, they become
spiritually bankrupt.
Continued on page 46

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ADDICTIONA DISASTROUS FAMILY HERITAGE

By William G. Borchert

I was actually able to avoid alcohol until I was nineteen and had
just become a newspaper reporter for the largest daily paper in
the world at that time headquartered in New York City. It was a
tremendous opportunity afforded me in the heyday of journalism.
I was rubbing shoulders with some of the greatest writers and
columnists in the media universe.
But the first night I showed up for work, I was invited into a saloon
by some of my peers from other newspapers who were at least
twenty five to thirty years older than I was at the time. They didnt
ask what I wanted to drink. They simply ordered for me what they
were drinking themselvesa shot and a beer.
There he was sitting on that mahogany bar-- John Barleycorn,
my mortal enemy. But he was now presenting himself as my
friend, as part of the happy celebrity surroundings, as part of the
camaraderie. How could I say no, especially in the midst of my
peers, men I admired, veteran newspaper reporters I could learn
from. So I quickly downed the shot of rye. I almost choked from the
burning sensation until the beer chaser put the fire out. Everyone
laughed. They bought me anotherand anotherand another.
They were having fun with the rookie.
I didnt get sick and I didnt have a hangover. What I had was an
experience Ill never forget. I felt taller, older and handsomer. I
felt like I was on top of the world, at peace with the world. I was a
veteran newsman and the world was my oyster. It was an exhilarating
experience that I continued chasing almost to the gates of Hell.
When youre young and healthy, you can handle the booze for
a while. And God had blessed me with some talent to interview
people, write their stories and create features that editors liked.
I advanced rapidly, from a police reporter to covering general
assignments to a by-line feature writer. I went on to write for wire
services, news magazines and radio, creating new radio shows of
my own. Everyone said I had a great future in the media world.
But alcoholism is a progressive disease and it soon caught up
to me. I was married now with four children and, like my father,
spending more money on booze than I could afford. Between losing
two lovely homes, having several serious automobile accidents,
missing deadlines and then missing work, I got caught in the
avalanche of alcoholism and my downward slide was precipitous.
By the time I was twenty seven I was unemployable, living with my
wife and children in my mother-in-laws basement and pan-handling
friends for the price of another drink.
At one point I became convinced I was crazy or at least on the
verge of insanity. I was doing things I didnt want to do and doing
them over and over again expecting a different result. So I wound
up in a psychiatrists office and was told I was probably an alcoholic
and should attend a twelve step recovery program. To me, an
alcoholic was a Bowery derelict drinking cheap wine out of a brown
paper bag. I revolted at the idea. So I continued drinking.
I became convinced that I was a totally useless human being and
that my wife and children would be better off without me. In fact, at
the age of twenty eight I actually believed that I had no reason to
live anymore and climbed out onto a hotel window ledge to jump. I
know now that a God of my understanding had other plans for me.
At that moment He made me realize that I didnt really want to die. I
just didnt know how to liveand He was about to show me.
The simplest way to put it is, I joined a twelve step recovery program,
committed myself to its principles, turned my will and my life over to the
care of a Higher Power and found a life beyond my wildest dreams. So
did my wife and my children. And a short time later, believe it or not,
my father found himself attracted to the same twelve step program. In
sobriety I finally found the father I always wanted, he found a loving
son and my mother found the husband she once loved.

46

Continued from page 6

So while addiction can be a disastrous family inheritance, the

miracle of recovery can overcome the power of our genes and give
us the greatest gift anyone could possibly receivesobriety. And
its offered to anyone who truly wants it.
William (Bill) G. Borchert is a multi-published author, national
speaker and Emmy Award nominated screenwriter for the highly
acclaimed Warner Brothers/Hallmark Hall of Fame movie, My
Name Is Bill W. The film, based on the founding of Alcoholics
Anonymous, stars James Garner, James Woods, JoBeth Williams
and Gary Sinese. It won three Emmy Awards and has become the
most watched television movie ever made. Bill won The Christopher
Award, The Paul Newman Award, the Vince Lombardi Community
Service Award and the Marty Mann Founders Award for the film.
Bill also wrote the screenplay for the Entertainment One/Hallmark
Hall of Fame movie, When Love Is Not Enough which was based
on his book about Lois Wilson, the co-founder of the worldwide
fellowship of Al-Anon. The movie stars Academy Award winner
Winona Ryder as Lois Wilson and Golden Globe winner Barry
Pepper as Bill Wilson, the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous.
After working as a feature writer for national magazines and
creating syndicated radio shows, Bill became a partner at Artists
Entertainment Complex, an independent film production company
that went on to produce a number of box office hits including
Kansas City Bomber starring Raquel Welch, Serpico starring Al
Pacino and Dog Day Afternoon also starring Al Pacino.
Bill has written a number of books including How I became My
FatherA Drunk, The Skyline Is a Promise, 50 Quiet Miracles
That Changed Lives, When Love Is Not Enough, Sought
Through Prayer and Meditation, When Two Loves Collide, and
1,000 Years of Sobriety.

WHAT FAMILY MEMBERS NEED TO

KNOW ABOUT SUBSTANCE ABUSE
AND SUICIDAL BEHAVIOR
By Tony Salvatore, MA

Continued from page 10

prescription or OTC medications, and encouraging contact with

a behavioral health provider at the earliest sign of suicidality. Be
vigilant after a death in the family or of a peer, after a psychiatric
hospitalization, and after a relapse. Prepare and share a family
suicide prevention plan outlining any medical or behavioral health
providers to call, other family members or friends who can help,
local emergency service numbers, and include these actions if
suicidal behavior is felt to be present:

Directly ask about thoughts of suicide

Ask if a suicide attempt is being considered
Ask if anything has been done (if yes, 911)
Say that you care and want to help
Do not let the person leave or be alone
Try to restrict access to lethal means (if this can be done safely)
Urge contact with a hotline, crisis center, or emergency
department
Call 911 if voluntary assistance is rejected
Do not hesitate to pursue an involuntary psychiatric evaluation
Remember that suicidal behavior may abate but suicide risk endures
and suicidality may resurface. Always maintain prevention mode.
Tony Salvatore is on the staff of Montgomery County Emergency
Service, a nonprofit crisis psychiatric service in Norristown, PA. He
may be contacted at tsalvatore@mces.org.

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