Notes From Overground

RobertKH238

My dreams were going pretty crappily the other morning. It was

all very confrontational and accusatory, smug, where the guiltmongers feel they have you right where they want you; that how
they see you has no bearing on how they will ever see themselves,
as always I had to get up for a pee and to rinse my mouth, drink a
little water too. It came back to me that when we get unpleasant
dreams it's because we forgot to align our mind with the Holy
Spirit before we went to sleep; or I did. Callit it your Higher Self
or whatever you choose. The purpose is to orientate our mind
away from fear; our usual unconsciously fear-permeated
consciousness. I thought I had, or that I didn't really have to
bother, considering my reading material earlier. Wapnick's Time is
A Vast Illusion. I guess I was wrong.
A mental note as I rinsed, an internal psychological shift in the
virtual blink of an eye and back to bed, to face what dreams might
come if any. It was great. I was floating on air at times, literally so,
'above the battleground', levitating smoothly into some kind of
aperture on a higher floor and straight onto the floorboards of a
large room. I should've taken notes after; my memory of the
people who were there and in the rest of the dream are mostly
gone. The important part of the dream was the difference in the
psychological orientation to everyday events, the ambiguity of it.
These people were mainly friends, enlightened, loving people, not
self-deceiving narcissists made insane by their own unconscious
guilt and mad projections and dissociation.
At one point... A woman; she seems familiar; we're close; we

stop and face each other while walking; she's fair-haired. I don;'t
know who she is or is supposed to be but I suppose I do, only her
hair is the 'wrong' colour, but it doesn't matter. I'm assertive, or
certain in my attitude towards her and my actions; this is love. I
think we have our ams aroud each other, I've forgotten. I want
you to come home with me, I say. Finally. As if after a long
ordeal, we finally get there. 'Home' is as much symbolic. Outside
of that I can't recall anything else of the dream. There were lots of
events in mind when I woke. As with ideas that come to mind, the
assumption is I'll remember them. Yet, I knew it wouldn't matter
too much as long as I didn't forgot the central event as described.
Doers she represent a particular person? She could, but as often as
is the case with me, she could be an amalgam of a few, at least
two, or mainly two. Yet, in truth, or truth be told, there have been
lots of dark-haired girls that have passed through my life I said
the hair was wrong in the dream.
There was the waitress in the Cafe in The Pancake Place on
the High Street in Edinburgh when I was 24. She was very
friendly, flirtatious. I was with my younger bro at the time too, so
who wouldn't be? Ha. A couple of young good-lookers about
town. I'm sure my brother had no conception of the attraction I felt
towards her and neither did she. Something that took me by
surprise when it happened. It was no mystery to me by then; she
reminded me of L, though that wasn't consciously in my mind at
the time. I think I had to mull it over later and it came to me. An
image of myself later in Cockburn Street comes to mind, so that's
probably when I did just that. I'd already had the revelatory dream,
the mystical experience the year before, when I was 23. I didn't
even share it with the women I lived with and never did. In effect I
was living a separate emotional life, a 'secret life'. But the
experience had been as much of a surprise to me.
A memory of the dark-haired waitress in the cafe. Do you
want me to whip it! she said, meaning the coffee. One of us
must've asked for whipped coffee. Our friendly-neighbourhood

young waitress making sado-masochistic innuendo. Cute. Now it

just brings to mind women who were whipped to death by sadistic
Nazis. No 'safe' word there. But that's me all over. I'd already read
lots of short accounts on the Nazis by the time I was 23, but Victor
Frankl too. I wonder if that accounted for my mystical experience
in some way? My eyes had already been opened to the merciless
cruelty of the world. I was already beginning to see a bigger
picture. Reading Edger Allan Poe's short story William Wilson
was a kind of revelation in itself, the same year as the revelation
experience. I intend to come back to it, but again, it raises the
question as to whether it was a factor in bringing about the
mystical experience too, by which I mean preparing my mind for
it. But there are so many other aspects and influences I can think
of, not least Colin Wilson and my quite intensive study of The
Outsider. I'd come back to it a few times after discovering a
second-hand paperback copy when I was 17, and later decided I'd
try and track down and read most of the books and writers he
discusses in the book. This at the age of 23, the age he wrote it. He
did later go on to describe it as an airless book but I found it
fascinating as I think many people did.
What is no less fascinating, even more so in a way, is that
Philip K. Dick's long story Minority Report was published in the
same year, 1956. His story of 'pre-crime'. You really have to
wonder just who truly had their finger on the pulse back then. In
terms of prescience, if Dick wasn't psychic, he may as well have
been. Colin Wilson went on to be seen as one of the world's
foremost criminologists by many, certainly his book publishers.
He didn't seem to see pre-crime coming though, nor the advent or
upsurge of tbe police state for all his analyses of crime and
criminals, serial killers and 'signs of the times'. Maybe he was
looking in the wrong place. It sometimes almost seemed to me
that he wanted to be a fully paid up member of the Establishment
in the end while still retaining his 'Outsider' credentials. I wasn't
convinced. One only need read any book by Icke to realise there's
a whole other world of 'Establishment' nefariousness that Colin

Wilson never touched on or even dreamed of. It's possible he

simply avoided it, seeing his work as integrating it all on a higher
level... of consciousness, or that would be part and parcel of the
goal... of the higher evolution of mankind.
I don't really see how this can be done without a clear picture of
just how bad things are. Alternative news sites are laying the
situation bare for all to see. I think it's fantastic on the whole.
Sometimes I think I take a kind of joyful flee in just how deep the
hypocrisy and insanity goes. I can think back to every selfrighteous schoolteacher, male and female, from primary school
onwards, not to mention my insane mother before and during this,
and realise these people were... what? Clueless? Terminally
deluded? Liars? Hypocrites. Some of them were pretty nice as it
happens. In the end I'd forgive everything if I throughout it would
get us all to heaven quicker. And it would. That's the paradox. The
realisation that forgiveness has to be total; all-encompassing,
embracing everyone for it to be... complete. And effective.
An idea for a story came to me the other day. It's that the last
man in the world, on the Earth or whatever, is preventing everyone
from getting to heaven. We're all still 'stranded' in the world,
because of this person, man or woman. I prefer that it's a man for
some reason. I don't like the idea of a woman ganged up on by the
rest of the world. The situation is a paradox of sorts, a
contradiction in terms. It's only through the true forgiveness of the
rest that the 'straggler', the 'ne'er do well', the chronically fearful
will ever come to 'see the light'. The reality of the situation, the
thinking of the world is that the rest don't know the meaning of
forgiveness or what possible useful purpose there could be behind
it, much less in terms of how it applies to themselves, ourselves,
first and foremost; because we're all kinda stupid that way.
But there will eventually come a time when the unforgivers as
one might call them are in the minority. You could say that will be
the real minority report. What is 'pre-crime' nowadays but prounforgiveness, and hypocrisy when the end result or even modus
operandi is calculated, methodical set-ups to entrap? Then you're

just talking of one long chain of interlinked special relationships

deprecated to death. A percentage of the population truly believes
this is how it should be for the rest now, and we should accept it or
else. It's the reasoning of fanatics, fundamentalists. They believe
the world should be transformed into one big transhumanist death
cult. They never gave us any warning about this at school. Nor a
heads up from Colin Wilson either. Robert Anton Wilson was
always keen on this life-extension idea. It will never happen. That
might seem a bit dismissive of a brilliant and amusing writer,
which has was, but I'm cutting to the chase here in terms of
urgency and what is upon us. These writers didn't understand the
concept of non-dualism; few do it seems. Anything else is an ego
compromise. And I'll go over the same ground again and again
until I 'get it' myself. There's a long way to go, a lot of connections
to be made. Here's the thing; the thought that others have already
made the connections, and I just don't know about it yet, or
enough about it. There's no substitute for keeping as up-to-date, as
informed as possible. Or, if you're like Colin Wilson was, you
simply decide what is of true relevance and what isn't and the rest
can go to hell, or be left to more enterprising, intellectually daring
or downright fearless writers.
I sometimes myself think that things have went so far in a
pathological direction in global terms that there's really nothing
for it but to throw caution to the wind and say what you can as
clearly and directly as possible before there's no time or
opportunity left in which to say it. At other times I'm thinking it
might be best to be cautious because he who runs away or at least
doesn't overstep the mark and attract undue attention to himself
might live to fight another day, not forgetting that to oppose
something is only to make errors mistakes real. So, as always,
it's the attitude of mind that's the main thing, even in terms of
making or taking a stand, or especially so. Do it without an
attitude of vengeful vindictiveness. That's what they, the crazies
are all about. Don't make their illusions, their projections real. I do
it all the time.

And let's not forget; they're into everything now. There's no

area of your life that's private, 'sacrosanct'. The only true sanctum
sanctorum is the mind, and they want to control that too of course;
this seems to be their main goal above all. Only, they equate the
mind with the brain. Maybe they don't all do or believe that, but if
they knew anything about the mind at all, they'd know it has
nothing to do with the body. Or, as Icke puts it, only love is real,
everything else is illusion. I already knew that years before
through A Course In Miracles, but it's always nice to see it
converging and coming more and more into the 'mainstream'. At
the same time, the powers that believe they be are marshalling
their puny forces like nobody's business now. Stalking? Tell me
about it. The trolls are into your email, and that's anybody they
might see as a threat to the brave new world ordure, the
encroaching, and to their mind, inevitable police state, Total
Control, Inc. Their strategy is to isolate, pick people off one by
one, through 'divide and rule', setting themselves, ourselves,
against each other or coming between them, us, through
convenient and draconian legal means which are just statutes, as
Max Igan has described in his videos, while they see themselves
as the upcoming Masters of The World through technology and the
delusion of joining. The ego's were always good at getting
together and conspiring,colluding; they were always the first to
gaslight, telling us it's all paranoia and 'conspiracy theory'. Hey,
sweetheart, however you are right now, wherever you may be,
whatever you're thinking, don't forget that if they ever tell you
I said this or that thing, and you think I surely must have
because there's no other way they could know, just remember they
got into or got all my writing, and they'll use it in whatever way
they can; and me, I'm stupid enough to speculate right up to the
last minute, so to speak, and they come banging on my door,
police state styli, to raid the place, to get their eager little mitts on
anything that might incriminate me or them, as in one or some of
their own, right there on digicam, what with me filming almost
wherever I go. It was going fine, until I allowed myself to be

sucked in, no fault of hers, laid out for the best past of each week
for weeks with a sore foot, going round in circles with my mind
when I could've kept it to myself, speculating to myself, keeping it
for a journal, or 'novel' material, as now.
And that's all I really wanted to say, whether now or in the
future, if the situation ever comes up again, or with someone else,
but remember, (or don't forget), that, regardless of what's
happened between us, whatever you think my thoughts or feelings
are on it, how you interpret it is up to you. If you're inclined
towards forgiveness and forgiving me for me and my big mouth
and a pretty egregious case of mistaken identity, though God
knows, in thinking back, I can see how it came about, keep in
mind you can approach me anytime in the future. And I just might
become quite ubiquitous in a literary capacity if I put my mind to
it. Wouldn't that be fun? And about time too. A turn-up for the
books, no pun intended.
Under the circumstances, what with the inversion and the
situation so 'cleverly' if predictably turned on its head by the
expert and relentless tricksters and stalkers, I'm the one set up and
framed to be seen as the stalker now, having voluntarily dug a hole
for myself as they well knew, and I've little doubt you could do
anything about. I may well be wrong in my last speculations over
the situation and that they go their hands on too. I could be saying
that for their sake as well as yours, in that you're beholden to them
in so many ways as we all are, though not in terms of one true
mind and love, and, this they know, not that they'd admit to it, but
it is what they're out to thwart and destroy at every turn if they
can. Also, you really have to wonder what motivates people to be
like that a rhetorical remark; as if I'd leave it there. And, just to
finish the original sentence, it's as much a case of making clear I'm
entirely sane of course; that I genuinely could be mistaken. You
might genuinely detest me for all I know, and that in the end, from
whatever point you choose, or they might on your behalf, there
was no basis for my feelings for you on any level, except they
were there, and real to me for that reason. Whatever the case, this

bloke ain't going away. In the sense that I'll always have
something to say, hopefully less opaque than the last few pages,
but that's the nature of the situation at the moment. From here on
in I'll write as I intend to, between five and ten pages most days.
As long as I read too, or preferably so. How do any of us make so
many silly mistakes? Vanity. It's all ego. Self-sabotage; wanting to
be seen as 'central', important. I could've stuck to Twitter, or even
Scribd. It's made it clear to me I'm not as rational as I've assumed I
am, emotionally. Not forgetting that neither are they; not by a long
shot. Now you might begin to see just how nefarious and
unscrupulous and desperate they are. Because, never forget;
they lost; love always prevails. It already has. The world is only a
screen, a projection. As ACIM says, we're only reviewing
mentally what has already gone by. Also, this world was over long
ago. Time only seems to be linear, a series of sequential events.
Everything happens at once and has already happened. We never
left heaven. Time was just a tiny tick within eternity, too short to
even make a world as the course says. The world is nothing more
than a dream of separation. It's also what the trolls live for, in their
unconscious fear of God and love. They've literally no insight into
themselves, and fight against it, and hate it wherever they see it.
Don't mistake it for anything else.
Another thought, more of a recent realisation, based on my
reading of the course; some things have just never quite sank in.:
Time is under our control. If the world of perception is only a
screen and what we put there is up to us, a projection of an inward
condition... then it can be replaced with vision, the only thing
that's real. Re; The Forgotten Song.
To be continued... and then some.