Ravis Bridal Journey

Indians are very traditional in their weddings and unlike Christian weddings there are tons of
components that make up an Indian Wedding. We start with the day the potential-to-be grooms
family come in to meet the bride to see if they are eligible or not to all the way to the
Grayaparvesh (Entering the in-laws house). But this is an Hindu wedding, most people assume
that Sikh and Hindu wedding are very similar if not the same.This is not true. Sikhs have different
vows and the role of God is different. Hindus believe in different deities and Sikhs believe that
there is one God, with each Sikh Guru contributing to the attributes towards what makes God
powerful and important.
The introduction is over and now I will give insight into the life of Punjabi-Sikh bride and sometimes
into the life of the groom. This has all been taken place over the period of 1 month (according to
my mother BTW if youre asking who's the bride in the pictures to come). So shall we get started.
Fun Fact: My Mother got married on the day of her birthday which is 1st of March. The Astrologer
told them that it will be auspicious to hold the marriage on the 1st of March as it was going to be a
full moon night. A full moon night is good for the Suhaag Raat (wedding night) as it will bring
monetary fortune and beautiful children in their martial life.

Roka: (To Stop The Search of Marriage)

This is the first step towards the final wedding and usually occurs immediately after the grooms
family decide when they see the brides family that she is the Laxmi (Godess of Fortune) that will
bring fortune and good luck for the martial house. If the groom and the brides family are happy
with the relation, they perform a roka then and there. Roka essentially means to stop and this
signifies that the potential people and the 2 families will stop finding new life partners after the sun
sets on that day. When the grooms family visit a potential bride's house, they come with a specially
embroidered shawl called Phulkari and baskets full of money, gold and sweets (It depends how
keen they are to perform the ceremony). When a relation is set and arranged after the bride and
groom consolidate with their families, the grooms mother and sister (if they have one) will perform
the ceremony. The ceremony consists of the mother covering the brides head with the shawl and
feeding her a piece of the sweets and some dry fruits. This symbolises mothers love towards the
bride as she accepts the bride as not only a daughter-in-law but as a real daughter of the house
that symbolises the respect, pride and femininity of the house.To really consolidate the marriage,
the grooms mother will also take off one of her ancestry jewellery (most of the time its a gold or
diamond bangle) and adorn the bride with the jewellery. On the other hand with Christian
marriages it doesnt occur at all. 2 people usually decide if they want to marry each other and then
consult with their families to see if they agree and if not, the families will negotiate a solutions and
problems about the success rates of that marriage and then go ahead with marriage rituals.
Though some may not consult with parents as being 18 and above you are considered a decisionmaking adult that can make appropriate choices, but most consult with parents as it is common
curtesy. In Sikh and major orthodox Hindu marriages, consultation is necessary, since families
consider this as a life-changing decision and usually start saving up for their daughters marriages
since they are born. Families think that marriages are a way of showing how rich and grand you
are and is also the last time families have a chance to show any love to their daughters and sons
before the responsibility of them comes of their shoulders once they are married. Children are
considered to be the parents responsibility till they are married regardless of gender and are
handed off to their partners and grooms family after marriage.
Tareek Paki and Kundli Milani (Set the Date and Matching Birth Charts)

Tareek Paki is the day where the brides and the grooms family meet together to finalise the date,
this date is usually finalised in a presence of an astrologer/priest. He looks at a star chart to
determine whether a specific day is auspicious or inauspicious for the couple to get married. Sikhs
really believe in this as getting married on a day that is inauspicious is really bad omen and
decreases the success rate of the marriage. At the same day and time, the birch charts of both the
groom and bride are compared and contrasted. This determines whether the qualities of a person
match or not. There are 48 qualities that are to be matched and they are simple things such as
interests, personality, profession etc at least 20 qualities should be matched otherwise the priest
declares the marriage unsuitable. In relation to my parents only 30/40 qualities were matched on
that day, yet they are not similar at all. This is a traditional and an orthodox belief that can and both
at the same time cannot work. This can hinder the chances of the couple to get married if the
qualities do not match and usually illiterate parents really believe in it. Though some modern
parents may not really believe in the belief that if the qualities do not match the marriage is
considered unsuitable and only do it as a mean of traditional obligation. Christians though do not
even go close to this tradition, they believe that if a couple truly love one another then the marriage
should go on, because according to God to love another person is to see the face of God is the
most ideal way to live. The goal for humans on this Earth is to not only believe in the teachings and
words of God but to also procreate with someone they love, so the children can grow up with good
values and teachings from both parents.
Mangini or Kurmai (Engagement)
This is the engagement ceremony and is completely optional to complete. It is technically not a
part the Sikh wedding routine, but is usually done by families to seal the wedding. Especially in
times when the groom is a soldier in the army and is likely going to fight a battle in between the
time of the engagement and the wedding. This ensures that when the two are away from each
other, the ring will keep the groom soldier alive and healthy during the war. In case if the groom
does die the ring on the bride will rest on the grave of the soldier that died, and even when the
bride will marry another according to God the two will soulfully never depart from each other. The
engagement ceremony can occur from days to months to years from the actual wedding ceremony,
but having it occur only days before the wedding is pointless and a waste of money. Usually the
engagement is done in a temple (Gurudwara) in front of the Holy Book of the Guru Granth Sahib. A
kara (sikh steel bangle) is gifted to the groom as a sign of strength and courage, so he can protect
the bride with all his might. Before the ceremony is commemorated, a granthi (short scripture/
prayer) is read out from the Holy Book and a red shawl is placed on the grooms shoulder, as an
extra prayer is read out from the Book, dried dates and sweets are fed to the groom by the grooms
grandfather according to the Holy Book. The same is done to the bride, but by the grooms sister
but is also adorned by jewellery by both the brides mother and the grooms sister (cousin sister if
he doesnt have a sister). In the modern times, Sikh people have adopted some Christian faith, left
by the British rule in India. Faiths such as the exchanging of rings and wedding nights have also
made its way to become an integral part of the marriage ceremonies. On the same day, to save
time the Chunni Ceremony is also done and it consists of red shawl being adorned by the bride
through the mother-in-law and sindoor (red vermillion) being applied by the groom. This symbolises
that she is already now the pride and honour of her martial family and also the sign of commitment
and belonging being given to the bride by the groom. In Christian faith the groom openly asks the
brides father for her hand in marriage and if he says Yes then, the groom proposes infront of the
brides family to the bride if he can marry her. If she says Yes then the exchanging of rings is
done and a huge party is held afterwards. It is more modern and less traditional than the Sikh
engagement, but I think that is more intimate and romantic. Sikh rituals are very symbolic and
meaningful, but Christian Rituals are more modern but are still meaningful.
Vatna/Batna (meaning Purifying of Skin and Soul)
Batna consists of Turmeric, Coconut Oils and essential oils and is rubbed on by family members on
the bride and the groom. This ceremony is done in the both bride and grooms respective homes

away from each other. The mother usually goes first, by grabbing a palm leaf and dipping the leaf
inside the pot containing batna and rubs it on the groom/bride. Family members and guests take
turns in rubbing the batna on the bride/groom and for fun is usually rubbed on not only the face, but
the legs and arms making movement and protest difficult. Games are usually derived from this
tradition such as putting a lot of it on the nose and hair, which makes the cleaning up difficult for
the bride.The ban symbolises the removal of her girl-like thinking and the implementation of a
thinking like of a mother,wife and a good daughter-in-law. A red sheet is held over the bride/
grooms head by friends and a red string is tied around the wrist by a special someone.This
symbolises protection given to the bride from her in-laws and also the family handing over the
protection of their daughter to the in-laws. After this ceremony is done the brides uncle/grandfather
carries the bride bridal style and into the shower, he leaves and bride takes a shower afterwards
washing her hair and batna off. After this ceremony sangeet (party with music and dancing) occurs
with DJs or live music where families enjoy dancing and singing all night long. There are many
traditions inside the sangeet and some consist of, forcefully making the bride dance in heavy
jewellery and also having families embarrassing brides by asking embarrassing martial questions.
Live music consists of drum ladies singing traditional wedding songs but in modern days right now
there are DJs invited to put on usual Punjabi and Bollywood songs to dance to. After the dancing,
the mother of the bride put on martial bangles that are symbol of suhaag (marriage fidelity) and it
means that if the bangles are put on with love and care, the marriage will be sustained with full
fidelity from either sides. If the bangles crack then it is a bad omen and it means that the marriage
will not turn out right or someone will betray one partner. This usually occurs up to 1-4 days before
the marriage date. In Christian weddings there is no purifying ceremony, but there is a hens and
bachelors party celebrated the day before the wedding, feeling the last day that they are a
bachelor. The party consists of drunk games such as spin the bottle, singing karaoke and dancing
excessively. In the hens party there is a thimble game where a thimble is hidden in the bridal
shower cake and whoever gets the cake, is destined to be married next.
Mehndi:
Henna is applied the day before the wedding, it symbolises strength and love between the couple
and is determined by the darkness of the stain of the henna.Stronger the colour, the more love will
be in the relationship. Henna is applied by professionals all over the hands feet and some on side
of the arms. Bridal Henna should be applied for 7-8 hours, rendering the bride robotic, stiff and,
sleepy. So the bride sleeps on a special flower bed where stains on the bed can be acceptable.
When the henna is dry, sugar and water is applied repeatedly making the tattoo darker. In the
morning the henna is washed off in the sink and the stain of henna will remain. The groom will
have a small circle (sun) drawn on his palm representing the sunlight while the bridal henna
represents the moon. When those 2 come together, they share a sky (life).
Nanak Shak (Bridal Gifts from Parents):
When a daughter is born, she is considered a responsibility and the father starts saving up
jewellery and possessions that the daughter will take to her in-laws. It is not considered dowry, but
blessings from the family and heirlooms that the daughter can pass on to her children. Things that
the bride may take can include gold,diamond,jewellery,heirlooms,
electronics,clothes,furniture,kitchen equipment etc

Crosswalk.com. (2016). A Biblical Perspective on Marriage. [online] Available at: http://

www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/relationships/a-biblical-perspective-on-marriage-1208405.html
[Accessed 11 Mar. 2016].

Christianity.org.uk. (2016). A Christian view of marriage - Christianity UK. [online] Available at:
http://christianity.org.uk/index.php/a/a-christian-view-of-marriage.php [Accessed 10 Mar. 2016].

Godweb.org. (2016). A Christian Wedding Ceremony: Traditional Version. [online] Available at:
http://www.godweb.org/marriage3.htm [Accessed 13 Mar. 2016].

Biblegateway.com. (2016). Bible Gateway - : love one another as i have loved you. [online]
Available at: https://www.biblegateway.com/quicksearch/?quicksearch=love+one+another+as+i
+have+loved+you&qs_version=NIV [Accessed 20 Mar. 2016]

Fairchild, M. (2016). Little Known Reasons for Christian Wedding Traditions. [online] About.com
Religion & Spirituality. Available at: http://christianity.about.com/od/weddingceremony/a/
weddingtraditions.htm [Accessed 13 Mar. 2016].

Fairchild, M. (2016). The Complete Traditional Christian Wedding Ceremony Guide. [online]
About.com Religion & Spirituality. Available at: http://christianity.about.com/od/
christianweddingelements/a/weddingoutline.htm [Accessed 14 Mar. 2016].

Wro.factsonfile.com. (2016). InfoBase Learning - Login. [online] Available at: http://

wro.factsonfile.com/world-religions-online/catholicism-and-orthodox-christianity/support-materials/
key-topics-and-terms/marriage.aspx [Accessed 17 Mar. 2016].

Quotationof.com. (2016). Religious Tolerance Image Quotation #4 - Quotation Of . COM. [online]

Available at: http://www.quotationof.com/gallery/religious-tolerance-quotes-1.jpg.html [Accessed 17
Mar. 2016].

Vowsoftheheart.com. (2016). Traditional Christian Wedding Ceremony Vows of the Heart. [online]
Available at: http://www.vowsoftheheart.com/ceramonies/traditional-christian-wedding-ceremony/
[Accessed 14 Mar. 2016].

In-class work:
World religions word document: ClickView video
Parelkar, R. (2012). Wedding Customs and Rituals Series Sikh Weddings. [online] Sr4u.in.
Available at: http://sr4u.in/sikh-weddings-customs-and-rituals/ [Accessed 17 Mar. 2016].
Sidhu(Mom), R. (2016). Wedding Rituals and Meaning.
Sikhs.org. (2016). Sikhism Religion of the Sikh People. [online] Available at: http://www.sikhs.org/
wedding/ [Accessed 19 Mar. 2016].

Wikipedia. (2016). Punjabi wedding traditions. [online] Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/

Punjabi_wedding_traditions [Accessed 19 Mar. 2016].