SCRIPT #8

JEFFREY ZARRILLO: I WANT NOTHING MORE THAN TO MARRY HIM

(PLAINTIFF)
Testimony as given in U.S. District Court on January 11, 2010

Speaking:
JEFFREY ZARRILLO
THE CLERK
JUDGE WALKER
DAVID BOIES
BRIAN RAUM
 

TO BE READ ALOUD:
Hear ye, hear ye! The following scene is a re-enactment of Perry v.
Schwarzenegger, the Prop 8 trial heard in U.S. District Court. Plaintiff
Jeffrey Zarrillo, a gay Californian, who was directly affected by the
passage of Proposition 8, is under direct-examination by the plaintiffs’
lawyer David Boises. The plaintiffs in this case are two loving same-sex
couples who simply want to marry, just as any heterosexual couple in
America has the right to do.

Court is now in session!

JUDGE WALKER:
Very well, Mr. Boies, your first witness.

DAVID BOIES, PLAINTIFFS’ ATTORNEY:

Thank you, Your Honor. We call Jeffrey Zarrillo.

THE CLERK:
Raise your right hand, please.

Jeffrey Zarrillo called as a witness for the Plaintiffs herein, having

been first duly sworn, was examined and testified as follows:

JEFFREY ZARRILLO, PLAINTIFF:

Yes, I do.

THE CLERK:
Thank you. State your name, please.

ZARRILLO:
Jeffrey James Zarrillo.

THE CLERK:
Spell your last name.

ZARRILLO:
Z-A-R-R-I-L-L-O.

THE CLERK:
And your first name.

ZARRILLO:
Jeffrey is J-E-F-F-R-E-Y.

THE CLERK:
Thank you.

 
 
 

ZARRILLO:
You are welcome.

JUDGE WALKER:
Very well. Mr. Boise.

BOIES:
Thank you, Your Honor. Good morning, Mr. Zarrillo.

ZARRILLO:
Good morning, David.

BOIES:
Let me begin by asking you to tell the Court a little bit about yourself.
How old are you?

ZARRILLO:
I'm 36 years old.

BOIES:
Where did you grow up?

ZARRILLO:
I grew up in New Jersey.

BOIES:
And how long have you been in California?

ZARRILLO:
I've been in California since 1999.

BOIES:
Do you have any siblings?

ZARRILLO:
I have one brother.

BOIES:
Tell me about your parents. Are they married?

ZARRILLO:
My parents have been married for 41 years.

BOIES:
Is your brother married?

ZARRILLO:

 
 
 

My brother has been married for just about 14 years.

BOIES:
Where did you go to school?

ZARRILLO:
I went to school at Brick Township High School in Brick, New Jersey.

BOIES:
Did you go to college?

ZARRILLO:
Yes, I did. I graduated from Montclair State University
in upper Montclair, New Jersey, in 1995.

BOIES:
Are you employed?

ZARRILLO:
Yes, I am.

BOIES:
What do you do?

ZARRILLO:
I work for AMC Entertainment, Incorporated.

BOIES:
How long have you done that?

ZARRILLO:
It's the only job I've ever had -- for 21 years.

BOIES:
How did you start?

ZARRILLO:
I started as a ticket taker, and worked my way up to general manager of
operations, which I currently am today.

BOIES:
Are you gay?

ZARRILLO:
Yes, I am.

BOIES:
How long have you been gay?

 
 
 

ZARRILLO:
As long as I can remember.

BOIES:
How long have you been openly gay?

ZARRILLO:
I came out in stages. I came out to some co-workers and
friends that I had in California when I was 25. And, ultimately, came out
to my friends and family in New Jersey when I was just about 30.

BOIES:
Why did it take you so long?

ZARILLO:
Coming out is a very personal and internal process. Excuse me. You have to
get to the point where you're comfortable with yourself--with your own
identity and who you are.

So it was difficult where I grew up, through school and peer pressure, and
the things you hear, and the things you see, and the things you read about
with regards to the gay and lesbian community, and what coming out means
and that process that people go through.

And it changes you. Ultimately, you get to the point where you are
comfortable with yourself, while previously, when you were going through
the process of deciding to come out, your thought process included what
other people would think of you coming out. But it's not about that. It
doesn't -- it's not about anybody else at that time. It's about me and how
I felt growing up in society with the stereotypes and hate that existed.

BOIES:
Tell me a little bit about what you were referring to when you talked
about what you read and what you heard and the stereotypes that you were
faced with.

ZARRILLO:
I think we can all remember times in school, whether it be grammar school,
middle school, or high school, or college -- and it didn't necessarily
have to be about gay issues, but the peer pressure and the things that
your friends and your acquaintances in school said.

Especially when many of my friends, at the time when I was going through
this internal process, identified themselves as straight, and were dating
women and asking girls to the prom and to school dances. And that was
tough for me. I was someone that really wanted to -- to go out for the
football team, but I was afraid to -- to be with men in the locker room.

 
 
 

BOIES:
What were some of the things that you heard and read about gays and the
stereotypes that you mentioned, that caused you concern before you came
out?

BRIAND RAUM, DEFENDANT’S ATTORNEY:

Objection! Hearsay.

JUDGE WALKER:
I beg your pardon?

RAUM:
Hearsay, Your Honor.

JUDGE WALKER:
I think it goes to the mental impressions of the witness state of mind.
Objection overruled.

ZARRILLO:
I can remember specific times watching TV. I don't recall the name of the
specific After School Special, but it was an After School Special about a
child that came out to his parents and was kicked out of his home, and
told by his parents that they didn't love him; not to come
back. And I remember seeing a soap opera, called “One Life to Live,” when
I was in middle school, and there was a -– Ryan Phillippe played a gay kid
on the show. And it was a similar situation where he found it so hard to
come out in his community and in his home. And he was ultimately kicked
out of his home by his father because his father didn't approve of him.

BOIES:
Now, today you are in a committed relationship with another gay man,
correct?

ZARRILLO:
Yes, sir.

BOIES:
Tell me a little bit about that man.

ZARRILLO:
He's the love of my life. I love him probably more than I love myself. I
would do anything for him. I would put his needs ahead of my own. I would
be with him in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, death do us
part, just like vows. I would do anything for him. And I want nothing more
than to marry him.

 
 
 

BOIES:
How long have you been in this relationship?

ZARRILLO:
March will be nine years.

BOIES:
When you said you wanted nothing more than to marry him, why?

ZARRILLO:
The word "marriage" has a special meaning. It's why we're here today. If
it wasn't so important, we wouldn't be here today. I want to be able to
share the joy and the happiness that my parents felt, my brother felt, my
friends, my co-workers, my neighbors, of having the opportunity to be
married. It's the logical next step for us.

BOIES:
Do you believe that if you are married, that that would change the
relationship that you have, at all?

ZARRILLO:
Absolutely. I think -- I think one's capacity to love can absolutely grow.
I think one's capacity to be committed to another individual can
absolutely expand. And I'm confident that that would happen with us.

BOIES:
Do you believe that if you were able to be married, that
would affect your relationships with your family and your community?

ZARRILLO:
Absolutely.

BOIES:
How so?

ZARRILLO:
It's that I would be able to partake in family gatherings, friends,
gathering with friends, work functions, as a married individual; and to be
-- to stand alongside my parents and my brother and his wife, to be able
to stand there as one family who have all had the opportunity to take
advantage of -– of being married and the pride that one feels when that –-
when that happens.

BOIES:
Do you believe that if you were married, that would affect the way other
people who don't know you deal with you?

ZARRILLO:

 
 
 

Sure.

BOIES:
Why?

ZARRILLO:
When someone is married, and whether it's an introduction with a stranger,
whether it's someone noticing my ring, or something of that nature, it
says to them these individuals are serious; these individuals are
committed to one another; they have taken that step to be involved in a
relationship that one hopes lasts the rest of their life.

BOIES:
Now, do you -- do you have children?

ZARRILLO:
No.

BOIES:
Have you thought about having children?

ZARRILLO:
Yes, we have.

BOIES:
Have you talked about having children, the two of you?

ZARRILLO:
Yes.

BOIES:
Why haven't you had children?

ZARRILLO:
Paul and I believe that it's -- the important step in order to have
children would be for us to be married.

It would make it easier for -- for us, for our children, to explain our
relationship, for our children to be able to explain our relationship.
But, also, it would afford us additional protections for our child.

And knowing that if we were going to enter into that type of family
institution, that we want to make sure that we have all of the protections
so that nothing could ever eradicate that nuclear family.

BOIES:
Now, you're aware that in the state of California you could register with
the state of California as domestic partners, correct?

 
 
 

ZARRILLO:
Yes, I am.

BOIES:
Have you done so?

ZARRILLO:
No, I have not. No, we have not.

BOIES:
Why not?

ZARRILLO:
Domestic partnership would relegate me to a level of second class
citizenship--maybe even third class citizenship currently, the way things
are in California today.

And that's not enough. It's giving me part of the pie, but not the whole
thing.

And while it is obviously an opportunity for us to do that, we hold

marriage in such high regard that if we were to get married, we would be
saying that we are satisfied with domestic partnership as a way to live
our lives, but it doesn't give due respect to the relationship that we
have had for almost nine years. Only a marriage could do that.

BOIES:
Do you have friends who have registered as domestic partners under the
California state law?

ZARRILLO:
Probably. I -- it's not something that's talked about.

BOIES:
Do any of your friends celebrate anniversaries of registering as domestic
partners?

ZARRILLO:
No.

BOIES:
That sort of thing?

ZARRILLO:
No.

 
 
 

BOIES:
How does not being married affect you in your life? Does it subject you to
further discrimination?

ZARRILLO:
Yes, it does.

BOIES:
How so?

ZARRILLO:
The discrimination, whether directly or indirectly, it's pervasive,
especially after Prop 8.

Prop 8 is embolden -- has emboldened other states to take similar actions.

And that makes it difficult. You can't turn on the TV without hearing a
news story. Can't log onto the Internet without reading a news story about
it. Can't open a magazine or read a blog. It's everywhere now. Those are
daily reminders of what I can't have.

BOIES:
Have you encountered instances where because you are not married you were
placed in embarrassing or awkward situations?

ZARRILLO:
Yes, I have.

BOIES:
Can you give me some examples?

ZARRILLO:
One example is when Paul and I travel: it's always an awkward situation at
the front desk at the hotel.

There are numerous occasions where the individual working at the desk will
look at us with a perplexed look on his face and say, "You ordered a king-
size bed. Is that really what you want?" And that's certainly an awkward
situation for him and for us. And we -- it is. It's very awkward.

There's been occasion where I've had to open a bank account. Paul and I
had to open a bank account. And it was certainly an awkward situation
walking to the bank and saying, "My partner and I want to open a joint
bank account," and hearing, you know, "Is it a business account? A
partnership?"

It would just be a lot easier to describe the situation -- might not make
it less awkward for those individuals, but it would make it -- crystallize
it more by being able to say, "My husband and I are here to check in for

 
 
 

our room. My husband and I are here to open a bank account."

BOIES:
Are you ever confronted with situations where you're asked to describe
your marital status?

ZARRILLO:
Yes.

BOIES:
What do you do in those situations?

ZARRILLO:
Those are very awkward situations because as an individual who's very
proud of his relationship and has been in a committed relationship for
almost nine years I proudly wear my ring on my left hand to signify that.
And it's very common when we -- if we're out at a work function or a
gathering with friends, someone identifies the ring and says, "Oh, how
long have you been married?" Or, "What does your wife do?" Questions of
that awkward nature.

Leaving me to then have to deliver the news that I'm a gay man, and my
husband or my domestically-partnered friend is -- works in the fitness
industry. And then that sort of creates additional awkwardness in the
conversation.

BOIES:
Now, assume that the State of California continues to tell you that you
can't get married to someone of the same sex. Might that lead you to
desire to get married and marry somebody of the opposite sex?

ZARRILLO:
No.
(Laughter)

BOIES:
Why not?

ZARRILLO:
I have no attraction, desire, to be with a member of the opposite sex.

BOIES:
Do you think if somehow you were able to be forced into a marriage with
somebody of the opposite sex, that would lead to a stable, loving
relationship?

ZARRILLO:

 
 
 

Again, no.

BOIES:
Your Honor, I have no more questions.

JUDGE WALKER:
Very well. Mr.[Raum]--

RAUM:
No questions, Your Honor.

JUDGE WALKER:
Cross examination?

RAUM:
No questions.

JUDGE WALKER:
No cross examination. Very well. Then, Mr. Zarrillo, sir, you may step
down.

ZARRILLO:
Thank you, Your Honor.

 
 

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which eliminated the right of same-sex couples to marry
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As Testimony actors, your mission is to bring this trial – this
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