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Critical Things Mentally Strong
People Dont Do
Dr. Travis Bradberry

Critical Things Ridiculously

Successful People Do Every
Day
Dr. Travis Bradberry

Gwen Stefani thought her

stardom would fade. It didn't,
and it's because she's far
Daniel
Roththan many realize
savvier
Dr. Travis Bradberry

Silicon ValleyThe Wall Street

Without Bubble

Coauthor Emotional Intelligence 2.0 & President at TalentSmart

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Allen Lee

Today I Sent This Note to The

Mashable Team

Critical Things Mentally Strong People Dont Do

Feb 3, 2016

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328 Comments

Pete Cashmore

We all reach critical points in our lives where our mental strength is tested. It
Treasury Is Wrong About Our
Merger and Growth
Ian C. Read

might be a toxic friend or colleague, a dead-end job, or a struggling relationship.

Whatever the challenge, you have to see things through a new lens, and take

decisive action if you want to move through it successfully.

It sounds easy, but it isnt.
Its fascinating how mentally strong people set themselves apart from the crowd.
Where others see impenetrable barriers, they see challenges to overcome.
Too many people succumb to the mistaken belief that mental strength comes
from natural, unteachable traits that belong only to a lucky few. Its easy to fall
prey to this misconception. In reality, mental strength is under your control, and
its a matter of emotional intelligence (EQ).
When it first appeared to the masses, emotional intelligence served as the missing
link in a peculiar finding: people with average IQs outperform those with the
highest IQs 70% of the time. This anomaly threw a massive wrench into the
broadly held assumption that IQ was the most important source of success.
Decades of research now point to EQ being the critical factor that sets star
performers apart from the rest of the pack. The connection is so strong that 90%
of top performers have high EQ.
Emotional intelligence is the something in each of us that is a bit intangible. It
affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal
decisions to achieve positive results.

Despite the significance of EQ, its intangible nature makes it very difficult to
know how much you have and what you can do to improve it if you lack it. You
can always take a scientifically validated test, such as the one that comes with the
Emotional Intelligence 2.0 book.
Unfortunately, quality (scientifically valid) EQ tests arent free, so Ive analyzed
the data from the million-plus people TalentSmart has tested in order to identify
the behaviors that are the hallmarks of a high EQ. This data shows that what you
dont do is just as important as what you do when it comes to EQ.
The beauty of EQ is that its a flexible skill that you can easily improve with effort.
Absolutely anyone can enhance their EQ by emulating the habits of emotionally
intelligent people. If youre up for it, start with these critical things that
emotionally intelligent people are careful to avoid. They consciously avoid these
behaviors because they are tempting and easy to fall into if one isnt careful.
Theydontstayintheircomfortzone. Self-awareness is the foundation of
EQ, and increasing your self-awareness isnt comfortable. You cant increase your
EQ without pushing yourself to discover what you need to work on and what you
should be doing differently. This is hard because when you take a really good look
at yourself, you arent going to like everything you see. Its more comfortable to
keep the blinders on, but they make certain that youll never have a high EQ.
Theydontgiveintofear. They say that bravery is being scared to death to do
something and doing it anyway. Many times, thats true, even when it comes to

your career. The fear doesnt have to come from something as extreme as rushing
into a burning building; it can be a fear of public speaking or going out on a limb
to try for a promotion. If you use fear as an excuse not to do something, youve
already lost. Its not that emotionally intelligent people arent afraidthey simply
pick themselves up and fight on regardless of the fear.
Theydontstopbelievinginthemselves. Emotionally intelligent people
persevere. They dont give up in the face of failure, and they dont give up because
theyre tired or uncomfortable. Theyre focused on their goals, not on momentary
feelings, and that keeps them going even when things are hard. They dont take
failing to mean that theyre a failure. Likewise, they dont let the opinions of
others keep them from chasing their dreams. When someone says, Youll never
be able to do that, they regard it as one persons opinion, which is all it is.
Theydontbegforattention. People who are always begging for attention are
needy. They rely on that attention from other people to form their self-identity.
Emotionally intelligent people couldnt care less about attention. They do what
they want to do and what needs to be done, regardless of whether anyone is
stroking their ego.
Theydontactlikejerks. People who act like jerks are unhappy and insecure.
They act like jerks because they dont have the emotional strength to be nice when
they dont feel like it. Emotionally intelligent people place high value on their
relationships, which means they treat everyone with respect, regardless of the
kind of mood theyre in.

Theydontholdgrudges.The negative emotions that come with holding onto

a grudge are actually a stress response. Holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on
your body and can have devastating health consequences over time. Researchers
at Emory University have shown that holding onto stress contributes to high
blood pressure and heart disease. Holding onto a grudge means youre holding
onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs.
Theydonthangaroundnegativepeople. Negative people are bad news
because they wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions. They want
people to join their pity party so that they can feel better about themselves.
People often feel pressure to listen to negative people because they dont want to
be seen as callous or rude, but theres a fine line between lending a sympathetic
ear to someone and getting sucked into their negative emotional spiral.
Emotionally intelligent people avoid getting drawn in by setting limits and
distancing themselves from negative people when necessary. Think of it this way:
If a person were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the secondhand smoke? Youd distance yourself, and you should do the same with negative
people.
Theydontfeelsorryforthemselves. Heres the worst thing about feeling
sorry for yourself, other than it being annoying, of course: it shifts your locus of
control outside yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself is, in essence, declaring that
youre a helpless victim of circumstance. Emotionally intelligent people never feel
sorry for themselves because that would mean giving up their power.

Theydontfeelentitled.Emotionally intelligent people believe that the world

is a meritocracy and that the only things that they deserve are those that they
earn. People who lack EQ often feel entitled. They think that the world owes them
something. Again, its about locus of control. Emotionally intelligent people know
that they alone are responsible for their successes or failures.
Theydontclosetheirminds. When people close their minds to new
information or opinions, its typically because they find them threatening. They
think that admitting that someone else is right means that theyre wrong, and
thats very uncomfortable for people lacking EQ. Emotionally intelligent people
arent threatened by new things; theyre open to new information and new ideas,
even if it means admitting that they are wrong.
Theydontletanyonelimittheirjoy.When your sense of pleasure and
satisfaction are derived from comparing yourself with others, you are no longer
the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good
about something theyve done, they dont let anyones opinions or
accomplishments take that away from them. While its impossible to turn off your
reactions to what others think of you, you dont have to compare yourself with
others, and you can always take peoples opinions with a grain of salt. That way,
no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from
within. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one
thing is certainyoure never as good or bad as they say you are.
Theydontgeteatenupbyjealousyandenvy.Emotionally intelligent

people understand that the happiness and success of others doesnt take away
from their own, so jealousy and envy arent an issue for them. They see success as
being in unlimited supply, so they can celebrate others successes.
Theydontliveinthepast.Failure can erode your self-confidence and make it
hard to believe youll achieve a better outcome in the future. Most of the time,
failure results from taking risks and trying to achieve things that arent easy.
Emotionally intelligent people know that success lies in their ability to rise in the
face of failure, and they cant do this if theyre living in the past. Anything worth
achieving is going to require your taking some risks, and you cant allow failure to
stop you from believing in your ability to succeed. When you live in the past, that
is exactly what happensyour past becomes your present and prevents you from
moving forward.

Bringing It All Together

Improving your emotional intelligence is the single most important thing you can
do to advance your career. The good news is that you can make it happen with a
little determination, effort, and a good model to follow.
Whatotherthingsdoemotionallyintelligentpeopledo(ornotdo)?Pleaseshare
yourthoughtsinthecommentssectionbelow,asIlearnjustasmuchfromyou
asyoudofromme.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Dr. Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling book,

Dr. Travis Bradberry

Coauthor Emotional Intelligence 2.0 & President at TalentSmart

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Critical Things Ridiculously Successful People Do

Every Day
Apr 7, 2016

378,005 views

5,891 Likes

518 Comments

Having close access to ultra-successful people can yield some pretty incredible
information about who they really are, what makes them tick, and, most
importantly, what makes them so successful and productive.

"Wheneveryouseeasuccessfulperson,you
onlyseethepublicglories,nevertheprivate
sacrificestoreachthem."VaibhavShah

Kevin Kruse is one such person. He recently interviewed over 200 ultrasuccessful people, including 7billionaires, 13 Olympians, and a host of
accomplished entrepreneurs. One of his most revealing sources of information
came from their answers to a simple open-ended question:
Whatisyournumberonesecrettoproductivity?
In analyzing their responses, Kruse coded the answers to yield some fascinating
suggestions. What follows are some of my favorites from Kevins findings.
Theyfocusonminutes,nothours.Most people default to hour and halfhour blocks on their calendar; highly successful people know that there are 1,440
minutes in every day and that there is nothing more valuable than time. Money
can be lost and made again, but time spent can never be reclaimed. As legendary
Olympic gymnast Shannon Miller told Kevin, To this day, I keep a schedule that
is almost minutebyminute. You must master your minutes to master your life.
Theyfocusononlyonething.Ultra-productive people know what their
Most Important Task is and work on it for one to two hours each morning,
withoutinterruptions. What task will have the biggest impact on reaching your

goals? What accomplishment will get you promoted at work? Thats what you
should dedicate your mornings to every day.
Theydontusetodolists.Throw away your to-do list; instead schedule
everything on your calendar. It turns out that only 41% of items on to-do lists ever
get done. All those undone items lead to stress and insomnia because of the
Zeigarnik effect, which, in essence, means that uncompleted tasks will stay on
your mind until you finish them. Highly productive people put everything on their
calendar and then work and live by that calendar.
Theybeatprocrastinationwithtimetravel.Your future self cant be
trusted. Thats because we are timeinconsistent. We buy veggies today because
we think well eat healthy salads all week; then we throw out green rotting mush
in the future. Successful people figure out what they can do now to make certain
their future selves will do the right thing. Anticipate how you will self-sabotage in
the future, and come up with a solution today to defeat your future self.
Theymakeithomefordinner.Kevin first learned this one from Intels Andy
Grove, who said, There is always more to be done, more that should be done,
always more than can be done. Highly successful people know what they value in
life. Yes, work, but also what else they value. There is no right answer, but for
many, these other values include family time, exercise, and giving back. They
consciously allocate their 1,440 minutes a day to each area they value (i.e., they
put them on their calendar), and then they stick to that schedule.

Theyuseanotebook.Richard Branson has said on more than one occasion

that he wouldnt have been able to build Virgin without a simple notebook, which
he takes with him wherever he goes. In one interview, Greek shipping magnate
Aristotle Onassis said, Always carry a notebook. Write everything down. . .. That
is a million dollar lesson they dont teach you in business school! Ultraproductive people free their minds by writing everything down as the thoughts
come to them.
Theyprocessemailsonlyafewtimesaday.Ultra-productive people dont
check their e-mail throughout the day. They dont respond to each vibration or
ding to see who has intruded into their inbox. Instead, like everything else, they
schedule time to process their e-mails quickly and efficiently. For some, thats
only once a day; for others, its morning, noon, and night.
Theyavoidmeetingsatallcosts.When Kevin asked Mark Cuban to give his
best productivity advice, he quickly responded, Never take meetings unless
someone is writing a check. Meetings are notorious time killers. They start late,
have the wrong people in them, meander around their topics, and run long. You
should get out of meetings whenever you can and hold fewer of them yourself. If
you do run a meeting, keep it short and to the point.
Theysaynotoalmosteverything.Billionaire Warren Buffet once said,
The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very
successful people say no to almost everything. And James Altucher colorfully
gave Kevin this tip: If something is not a Hell Yeah! then its a no. Remember,

you only have 1,440 minutes in a day. Dont give them away easily.
Theyfollowthe80/20rule.Known as the Pareto Principle, in most cases,
80% of results come from only 20% of activities. Ultra-productive people know
which activities drive the greatest results. Focus on those and ignore the rest.
Theydelegatealmosteverything.Ultra-productive people dont ask, How
can I do this task? Instead, they ask, How can this task get done? They take the
Iout of it as much as possible. Ultra-productive people dont have control issues,
and they are not micro-managers. In many cases, good enough is, well, good
enough.
Theytouchthingsonlyonce.How many times have you opened a piece of
regular maila bill perhapsand then put it down, only to deal with it again
later? How often do you read an e-mail and then close it and leave it in your inbox
to deal with later? Highly successful people try to touch it once. If it takes less
than five or ten minuteswhatever it isthey deal with it right then and there. It
reduces stress, since it wont be in the back of their minds, and it is more efficient,
since they wont have to re-read or re-evaluate the item again in the future.
Theypracticeaconsistentmorningroutine.Kevins single greatest
surprise while interviewing over 200 highly successful people was how many of
them wanted to share their morning ritual with him. While he heard about a wide
variety of habits, most nurtured their bodies in the morning with water, a healthy
breakfast, and light exercise, and they nurtured their minds with meditation or

prayer, inspirational reading, or journaling.

Energyiseverything.You cant make more minutes in the day, but you can
increase your energy to increase your attention, focus, and productivity. Highly
successful people dont skip meals, sleep, or breaks in the pursuit of more, more,
more. Instead, they view food as fuel, sleep as recovery, and breaks as
opportunities to recharge in order to get even more done.

Bringing It All Together

You might not be an entrepreneur, an Olympian, or a billionaire (or even want to
be), but their secrets just might help you to get more done in less time and assist
you to stop feeling so overworked and overwhelmed.
Whatdoyoudotostayproductive?Pleaseshareyourthoughtsinthecomments
sectionbelow,asIlearnjustasmuchfromyouasyoudofromme.
Special thanks to Kevin Kruse for assistance with this post.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Dr.TravisBradberry is the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling
book, EmotionalIntelligence2.0, and the cofounder of TalentSmart, the world's
leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving more than
75% of Fortune 500 companies. His bestselling books have been translated into
25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. Dr. Bradberry has
written for, or been covered by, Newsweek,TIME,BusinessWeek,Fortune,