Shame Attacks

by Elissa Habinsky, M.A., M.S.

For a while now I have been wanting to do a particular shame attack exercise, but I havent. I thought that by writing about it, it
would help me process what has been getting in my way, and by doing so publicly, it would further compel me to complete the
exercise. In general, shame attack assignments are valuable as they challenge our desire to conform to social standards, as well as
our need for the approval of others. Often when others express their disapproval of our behavior, we engage in catastrophic thinking,
and ultimately question our self-worth. Thus, shame attacks help us discriminate between our engaging in a specific behavior, and our
worth as a human being.
Personally, a pet peeve of mine is receiving and/or sending emails with typos. I become especially concerned when I think about
sending an email to a person I respect that is replete with typos and grammatical errors. Therefore, my shame attack assignment is
to purposefully craft such an email, and send it to a respected colleague or mentor of mine. However, just thinking about doing so
results in my feeling very uncomfortable, and leads to a flurry of irrational thinking. I worry that the person receiving the email will
notice all the errors and think poorly of me. I am not only concerned that the individual will think that I am poor writer, but rather
that I am globally an unintelligent individual. This is surely an irrational leap. First, it is very likely that the person on the other end
will not notice my errors. Even if they do, and somehow conclude that based on one email I am completely devoid of intelligence, I
would be able to tolerate it. I clearly would not be happy, but I have experienced embarrassment before and will again.
With all this said, in order to help complete this assignment, it would be helpful to set a deadline and outline the specifics of the
assignment, such as to whom I am going to send it, rather than leaving things open-ended. Furthermore, if this blog inspires you to
try a shame attack assignment of your own, here are some famous exercises often used in REBT:
1.

Tie a long red ribbon around a banana and walk it down a busy street

2.

Ride a crowded elevator standing backward (facing the rear)

3.

Yell out five successive stops in the subway or on the bus

4.

Find a restaurant that offers two eggs any style and ask your waiter for one fried and one scrambled

Fuente: http://albertellis.org/shame-attacks/

Shame is in the Eye of the Beholder

by Shannon ONeill, M.A.

When was the last time you hesitated to do something you enjoyed because you were concerned with anothers reaction or judgment?
Often times we generate irrational assumptions about others thoughts, believing we can read their mind. Although most of the time
our assumptions have no merit, what if they were true? What would it mean if you did receive public disapproval? Depending on the
individual being judged, this could produce very different irrational beliefs. Some may begin to demand, People must like me! While
others might think, I cannot stand it that others think poorly of me! Because of this thinking, we tend to behave less authentically
and refrain from behaviors we enjoy. More specifically, we try so hard to be normal that we prioritize it above being healthy. The
more you are concerned with another persons judgments, the more you will alter your behavior in order to act normal in an
attempt to receive their approval. However, this unauthentic behavior creates additional emotional disturbances as you become
unhappy with yourself for tailoring your behavior to another persons liking. Plus, you restrict yourself from behaving how you truly
desire.
A shame attack is a very creative intervention used within REBT that is often conducted when the client is self-conscious in social
situations. It is conducted by doing something completely ridiculous or outside of normal social protocol, without offering any
explanation to neutralize the situation. A famous shame attack created by Dr. Ellis is walking a banana on a string in a public space.
This exposure and countless others can be performed with the client to demonstrate that we are free to be ourselves. In other words,
we can accept who we are without becoming disturbed, attempting to tolerate the discomfort of judgment. One of two things is often
discovered after a shame attack: 1) Others either do not notice or do not care about the behavior you are exhibiting; 2) If others do
care, nothing terrible happens based on their judgments and you survive.
When you begin to feel socially anxious and wonder what others are thinking about you, ask yourself, What does it mean if people
are judging me? Although people have the freedom to judge you, it is up to you to agree with their evaluation. You see, the only
person that can formulate shame is you and this negative, unhealthy emotion prevents you from living fully. Therefore, shame is in
the eye of the beholder. So in conclusion Ill ask you, would you rather hold yourself back in order to be perceived as normal or
would you like to move forward and know you are living authentically?
For educational purposes (and a good laugh), please see an example of a shame attack here.

https://ananxiousextrovert.wordpress.com/category/care/

Shame and Discomfort Attacking Exercises

11/7/2013

1 Comment

The purpose of these exercises is to help you give up the self-limiting

beliefs:
A. I must be approved of by significant others.
B. I cannot stand the awkward moment of saying or doing what I
really want when there is subtle pressure to do otherwise.
C. I must not appear odd.
D. I have to be popular and go along with the group even when I am
inclined to do otherwise.
In REBT we encourage unconditional self-acceptance. This form of
self-acceptance is not based on having others accept you. In REBT we
acknowledge that acceptance by others is often good and
advantageous but when we hold rigid beliefs about being accepted it
can interfere with self-direction and our long term hedonistic goals.
During our sessions we will discuss your self-limiting need for
approval but the most efficient way to give up this belief is to do what
Albert Ellis called shame attacking exercises. I prefer to call them
shame and discomfort attacking exercises. Doing these exercises is
where the rubber meets the road in therapeutic change. Our
discussions will prepare you for this discomfort but sooner or later
you have to do the uncomfortable behaviors and keep doing them to
maintain your therapeutic gains. Psychological fitness is like physical
fitness. If you a person who is prone to shame and discomfort
avoidance then you will need to keep in shape once you have made
some degree of progress. The way to keep in shape is to keep doing
your shame and discomfort attacking exercises in one form or other
the rest of your life.
With these shame and discomfort attacking exercises the idea is to
say and do what you want as long as it does not hurt anyone, is not
illegal, and is not against your long term personal goals. It is important
to note that when you do a shame and discomfort attacking exercise
you may inconvenience someone else. That is fine. Often in life
inconvenience is the price you or someone else pays when we are
dealing with each other. Accept this reality. It often comes down to
who is inconvenienced.
Also some of these behaviors you may choose NOT to do at your
place of employment if you wish to get promoted or stay on in the
good graces of your supervisor. However, even at work it is prudent to
do a shame attack by saying No or No thank you when it is best all
things considered for you to do so. Judgment is involved and although

you want your supervisors and colleagues to like and approve of you it
is probably not in your long term best interest to be incapable of
occasionally saying no to your supervisor or to your colleagues and
friends. Often it is how you say no that makes the difference.
In order to do these essential behavioral exercises you will need to see
that it is worth doing these things and that you are worth doing them
for. Specifically you are advised to think Although it is hard I can
stand to do this uncomfortable thing and it has value to me to do so.
The more I do these exercises the easier it will become for me to be
assertive, set limits with others, and ask for what I want. Possession
of this capability is in my long term best interest.
Now the dreaded list of shame and discomfort attacking exercises:
1. Politely expressing your disagreeing point of view with someone
who seems to be an authority on a particular subject
2. Saying no thank you when yes is the polite thing to say (if you really
want to say no)
3. Electing not to applaud when you are not impressed by a
performance
4. Not nodding agreement when the other person is encouraging you
to do so by saying Right, right
5. Firmly telling a sales person no thank you and hanging up the
phone without waiting for a reply
6. Bargaining for a better price - You can always ask May I have this at
a better price?
7. Not tipping when you get mediocre service
8. Politely asking for what you want without apologizing
9. Letting someone know how you would prefer to be addressed
10. Graciously selling yourself if that is something you are disinclined
to do but need to do in order to accomplish a particular goal
11. Asking someone to help you when it might be inconvenient for
them to do so
12. Asking someone to endorse you even though they may not know
you well

13. Risking being rejected when you make a request from another
person
14. Doing something imperfectly when it does not matter enough to
you to be more exacting
15. Not assuming responsibility by saying I am sorry if you are not
responsible for what has occurred. You may express empathy by
saying I am sorry that this mishap occurred but that is different than
saying I am sorry and implying responsibility when you did not
cause the misfortune.
16. Not going along with what others want you to do when it matters to
you
17. Telling someone the truth if that is what is called for
18. Wearing clothing you really like even if it is normally not what
someone your age or gender would typically wear
19. Judiciously using four letter words if it enhances your point and if
it is out of character for you.
20. Calling someone by their first name when you do not know them
well.
21. Asking what might be considered a stupid question but one that
you honestly do not know the answer to and not also apologizing for
your ignorance
22. Not donating to a charity when disinclined to do so even when
others are donating
23. Waiting for or asking for the change when you pay in cash and the
cashier is slow to give you the change hoping you will drop it in their
tips bin
24. Not participating in the office shake downs for money when you
feel disinclined to participate
25. Telling a joke or acting silly if this strikes you as funny
26. Singing a song aloud while walking down the street if you feel
inclined to do so
27. Saying or doing what you really want if it is unpopular but does not

hurt anyone and is not against your long term interests

28. Politely pointing out when someone cuts the line you are standing
in that the there is a line and pointing to where the last position is
29. Not being politically correct (allow me to again remind you this
probably is best avoided at your place of employment)
30. Not going to church or religious services if these no longer have
meaning to you
31. Giving your psychotherapist feedback on whether he or she is
helping you
32. Requesting a change in schedule that suits your preferences for
services you receive
33. Telling someone you love something positive which you really like
about them if this is out of character for you
34. Doing public speaking
35. Asking someone for a date
36. Saying or doing something sexual if that is out of character for you
37. Initiating sex if that is uncomfortable for you
38. Wearing lingerie if that is out of character for you
39. Wearing a style of bathing suit you really like even if that is not
what you typically wear
40. Politely asking someone a personal question if you are curious
41. Revealing your age
42. Politely asking someone their age.
43. Introducing yourself to someone you do not know (especially good
in elevators or standing in lines)
44. Admitting your do not know the answer to a question but being
willing to learn the answer
45. Admitting you have misbehaved or committed an error without
trying to cover it up

46.Saying no to friends request for a favor when you really do not

want to do this particular thing
The rule of thumb is if you feel the shame or discomfort when
something comes to mind to do that is probably an opportunity to
consider the act a potentially worthwhile shame and discomfort
attack. Just remember only do it if it is not hurting anyone, it is not
illegal, and is not against your long term goals all things
considered. For example, with a friend you may choose to
inconvenience yourself and do them a favor. However, there may be
times where even with a friend it is in your long term best interest to
deny them a favor. Life is complex and you need to use judgment.
Inconveniencing others is fine and sometimes cannot be avoided. Also
remember not to take responsibility for other peoples feelings when
you do a shame and discomfort attack. When you do a shame and
discomfort attack the other party may get angry, shameful, convey
disapproval, pout or sulk. So long as you are not acting unethically or
illegally or terribly insensitively towards the other party they and not
you are responsible for their feelings. The goal is not to alienate other
people but to liberate you. Control what you can control You!

http://rebtdoctor.com/blog-self-help-posts-on-rebt/shame-and-discomfortattacking-exercises#comments

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/think-well/201203/they-re-justnot-you-and-other-facts-help-you-beat-social-anxiety

The Philosophy of Unconditional Acceptance

Dr. Albert Ellis (1913 2007)

The Greek Stoic Philosopher, Epictetus, wisely observed that

Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of them.
Though the statement itself may be short and simple, the philosophy behind it is profound. It is a philosophy that was not lost on Dr. Albert Ellis who, as a result of his
own neurotic self-disturbing, learned at an early age what Stoics like Epictetus had known long before we are, with few exceptions, responsible for our own
psychological well-being and that, for the most part, we create our own neurotic tendencies. It is upon the foundation of this simple philosophy that Ellis created the
forerunner of all cognitive-behavior therapies Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). It is a therapeutic approach which empowers the individual by exposing
the myth of self-esteem, and by offering instead the philosophical approach of unconditional acceptance.
The
Myth
of
Self-Esteem
In a general sense, self-esteem is the positive or negative evaluative perception of oneself. As most commonly expressed, self-esteem is conditionally derived from a
global rating of self on the basis of a partial assessment of current and/or past traits. As such, the self is rated as good when good, socially approved things are
done; and rated as bad when bad things are done.
Though many mental health professionals claim that achieving high self-esteem is the keystone of good mental health, such claims are dubious at best. Because selfesteem is conditioned on perceived successes and failures, human fallibility ensures that even the most positive self regard will be transitory never permanent and
must be continuously rebuilt sincethoughts, feelings, and behaviors are constantly changing for both the good and the bad.
Further complicating matters is the fact that even in times when the self is esteemed highly, there will nevertheless persist a nagging anxiety about the inevitable failures
of the future and the resultant ego injuries. If these psychological pitfalls were not enough, consider the following additional arguments that call into question the
wisdom of so-called esteem building:
1.

Operating under the philosophy of conditional self-esteem (CSE) leads to neurotic dichotomies of existence such as the
egomaniac with an inferiority complex;

2.

CSE is based upon the fallacious generalization that overall value and worth can be extrapolated from rating a small part of
the totality of being;

3.

The nature of CSE is such that so much is emotionally invested in achieving successful outcomes, performance anxiety
paradoxically increases the chance of failure;

4.

The pursuit of CSE perpetuates phoniness and other forms of dishonesty (the false self);

5.

CSE often leads to the belief that one is a better person which can easily turn into grandiosity, narcissism, and bigotry;

6.

CSE encourages ignoring problems instead of facing and solving them because such denial works to guard a false sense of
high self-esteem; and

7.

Deriving a global self-rating necessarily involves comparing ones own traits to those of others. The result of this constant
game of comparison is loss of true perspective and sometimes the deification and, at other times, the demonizing of
oneself and others.

Clearly, the arguments for disavowing the pursuit of high self-esteem are compelling. But before considering the alternative, it should be noted that the drive to obtain
high CSE did not emerge nor has it endured without evolutionary purpose. By its very nature, CSE is based on the sort of social competition that, at the dawn of
civilization, promoted survival on both the individual and group levels. However, the practical need for CSE has been rendered largely moot by cooperative modern
societies. The remnants of this cognitive relic now only fuel petty pursuits of prestige. The consequence is that individuals end up seeking status for most of their lives
rather than pursuing and finding joy.

A
Different
Philosophical
Perspective
Among cognitive therapists, Ellis was unique in that he advocated a wholesale change in ones attitude, perspective, and outlook upon life rather than piecemeal
adjustment of maladaptive thoughts. Having recognized the futility of esteem building, and even referring to the pursuit thereof as the greatest emotional disturbance
known to man and woman, Ellis proposed adoption of the principle of unconditional self-acceptance (USA) as a healthy psychological and philosophical alternative to
popular notions of self-esteem.
The philosophy of USA begins with the following premise:
The human being is fully and unconditionally acceptable in his own right as a unique and singular person; that he always has value to himself for so long as he is alive;
and that his intrinsic worth, or self-value, need not depend in any way upon his extrinsic value, or worth to others.
Thus, while evaluating thoughts, feelings and behaviors in relation to achieving goals and maintaining values is productive, one should refrain from the destructive
practice of assigning a global rating to self based upon those same thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Similarly, rating oneself globally based upon the approval (or lack
thereof) of others is equally unhealthy. Conversely, the self is unconditionally accepted, respected, and valued in totality even when thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are
viewed as undesirable. The internal dialogue changes from I am a good person because I do good things or I am a bad person because I do bad things, to I am
person who does both good and bad things, neither of which will I use to rate or measure my individual worth.
It might seem that a philosophy of USA would necessarily lead to complacency, but this is far from the truth. In USA, motivation in fact shifts away from the quick hits
of proving oneself, or being egoistic, or showing a better or greater value than others as a means to regulate self-esteem and towards fearlessly facing
deficiencies, correcting them to achieve goals and values, and the enjoyment of life. Ellis described such an outlook as long-range hedonism. As Ellis wisely noted,
Well adjusted people tend to seek both the pleasures of the moment and those of the future and do not often ask for future pain to get present gain. They seek happiness
and avoid pain, but they assume they will probably live for quite a few years and that they had better think of both today and tomorrow and not obsess themselves with
immediate gratification.
Ellis further recognized that even though the self is unique in many ways, it is also an extension of society and culture. Much of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are
significantly influenced (and sometimes even created) by the environment. Personhood thus includes socialhood. Moreover, we are endowed with social instincts
which dictate that individual ways of living must coalesce with societal standards. As such, Ellis believed that USA naturally extended to unconditional other acceptance
(UOA) which might be likened to the Christian philosophy of loving the sinner but not his sins.
As a practical matter, UOA becomes necessary once it is recognized that we live in a social community and had better treat others fairly for the sake of our own
happiness and survival. Equally important, however, is recognition that when we rate and label others, we often become resentful towards them. Therefore, we decide to
accept the unfairness in the wrongful behavior of others and allow the emotions of healthful sorrow and disappointment without experiencing unhealthy anger. Though
we may appraise the performance of others, we should refrain from damning them intrinsically. Applying the philosophy of UOA, we give to others what we have
hopefully given to ourselves thorough acceptance notwithstanding failings and virtues.
The final prong of the philosophy of unconditional acceptance as described by Ellis is that of unconditional life acceptance (ULA). Applying ULA means that when
things go wrong in our lives over which we have little or no control for example a loved one passing away, disabilities, or natural disasters we can strongly dislike
these adversities and do our best to rectify them, yet still accept them when they cannot be presently rectified, and hopefully have the wisdom to see the difference.
There is a clear difference between liking adversities (which is difficult, if not impossible, to do) and accepting them, which is still difficult but doable. The goal is to
develop what Ellis calls High Frustration Tolerance (HFT) as opposed to the often self-defeating Low Frustration Tolerance (LFT). It is a life philosophy that is best
summarized by a prayer written by Reinhold Neihbur in the 1950s:

Grant
me
the
The
courage
The wisdom to know the difference.

serenity,
to

to
change

accept
the

the

things
things

I
I

cannot
can;

change;
and

~Serenity Prayer~
The
Nuts
and
Bolts
of
REBT
Even though the arguments for adopting the philosophy of unconditional acceptance are compelling, it would be very difficult to suddenly cast aside entrenched notions
of self-esteem building in favor of a vastly different philosophical approach to life. To aid in this endeavor of self-improvement, Ellis created Rational Emotive
Behavioral Therapy (REBT) which provides a practical framework for effecting the necessary deep philosophical change.
A. The Three Levels of Thinking
Though Ellis therapeutic approach includes behavioral and emotive techniques (which are discussed below), the focus of REBT is on changing cognitive processes.
Specifically the individual system of beliefs is targeted for restructuring. According to REBT theory, individuals think on three levels: a) Inferences; b) Evaluations; and
c) Core Beliefs. These are described by REBT practitioner Wayne Froggatt as follows:
Inferences. In everyday life, events and circumstances trigger off inferences about what is going on that is, we make guesses about what we think has happened, is
happening, or will happen. Inferences are statements of fact (or at least what we think are the facts they can be true or false) . . . In REBT . . . [inferences] are
regarded as significant only in the sense that they provide a window to the evaluative thinking.
Evaluations. More significantly from the REBT perspective, in addition to making inferences about things that happen, we go beyond the facts to evaluate them in
terms of what they mean to us. Evaluations are sometimes conscious, and sometimes beneath awareness.
Core Beliefs. Guiding a persons inferences and evaluations are their underlying, general core beliefs . . . these are the rules that guide how people react to the events and
circumstances in their lives.
B. Irrational Thinking
The primary purpose of REBT is to identify patterns of irrational thinking, and to replace those thoughts (beliefs) with rational thinking. In general, irrational beliefs:

Block persons from achieving their goals; create extreme emotions that persist, distress, and immobilize; and lead to
harmful behaviors;

Distort reality (misinterpretations of what is happening not supported by the available evidence); and

Contain illogical methods of evaluation.

As previously noted, unlike many other cognitive-behavioral approaches which focus on inferential thinking, REBT places much emphasis on challenging irrational core
and evaluative beliefs. Ellis proposed that there are a small number of irrational core beliefs underlying most unhelpful emotions and behaviors. These are:
1.

I need love and approval from those significant to me and I must avoid disapproval from any source.

2.

To be worthwhile as a person I must achieve, succeed at whatever I do, and make no mistakes.

3.

People should always do the right thing. When they behave obnoxiously, unfairly or selfishly, they must be blamed and
punished.

4.

Things must be the way I want them to be, otherwise life will be intolerable.

5.

My unhappiness is caused by things outside my control so there is little I can do to feel any better.

6.

I must worry about things that could be dangerous, unpleasant or frightening otherwise they might happen.

7.

Because they are too much to bear, I must avoid lifes difficulties, unpleasantness, and responsibilities.

8.

Everyone needs to depend on someone stronger than themselves.

9.

Events in my past are the cause of my problems and they continue to influence my feelings and behaviors now.

10.

I should become upset when other people have problems, and feel unhappy when they are sad.

11.

I shouldnt have to feel discomfort and pain I cant stand them and must avoid them at all costs.

12.

Every problem should have an ideal solution and its intolerable when one cant be found.

Additionally, Ellis identified the irrational evaluative thought processes which are woven into the 12 Irrational Core Beliefs and which exist independently. These are:

Demandingness. Demandingness refers to the way people hold unconditional shoulds and absolutistic musts believing that certain things must or must not
happen, and that certain conditions (eg. success, love, or approval) are absolute necessities. Notoriously referred to by Ellis as musturbation, it can be directed inwardly
(demands made upon oneself), and outwardly (demands made upon others and the universe). Demandingness is at the core of most irrational thinking.
Catastrophising. Catastrophising includes awfulising and discomfort intolerance (a/k/acant-stand-it-itis). Characterized by words like awful, terrible, and
horrible,awfulising occurs when we exaggerate the consequences of past, present, or future events. Often following awfulising is discomfort intolerance (low
frustration tolerance) which is based upon the idea that one cannot bear some circumstance or event (often leading to the demand that it not be so).
People-Rating. Produced by the previously discussed principles of conditional self-esteem, people-rating involves the overgeneralization that the total value or worth of
oneself or of another can be determined by evaluation of narrow, specific traits and behaviors e.g. I did a bad thing, therefore I am a bad person.
C. The ABCs of REBT
Ellis illustrates his theory of cognition utilizing what is known as the ABC Model of REBT where A represents the activating event and the inferences as to what is
happening; B represents theevaluative beliefs that follow the inferences; and C represents the emotional and behavioral consequences which follow the inferences.
Froggatt gives the following example of the A x B = C formulation:
A. Activating
Event

What
Happened:
Friend passed me in the street without acknowledging me.
A. Inferences
about
what
happened:
Hes ignoring me. He doesnt like me.
B. Beliefs
about
A:
I am unacceptable as a friend, so I must be worthless as a person (Evaluation).
C. Emotional and Behavioral Consequences:
Depression. Isolation.
There are two important conclusions to be drawn from this formulation. First, A does not cause C; it triggers B which then gives rise to C. Second, these sorts of
ABC cognitive episodes do not stand alone, but often run in chains wherein C becomes the A for another episode. In the above example, the troubled individual might
interpret his isolating behavior as weak, and then engage in self-downing (this sort of secondary disturbance is discussed below in more detail).
It should be noted, however, that while the above formulation retains much practical truth, even Ellis own view of the ABCs evolved over time. Specifically, Ellis
stated:
I still retain this formulation, but realize that A, B, and C are more complicated than they first appear. First, they include aspects of and interact with each other;
second, B, in particular does not merely include the individuals Belief System, but also includes integral aspects of his/her emotional and behavioral system.
Notwithstanding these concessions and other psychological complexities, the focus of cognitive-behavioral therapy in general, including REBT, remains consciously
disputing irrational beliefs as a means to achieve healthy behavioral and emotional effects.
D. The Process of Change
Cognitive
Techniques
in
REBT
Ellis notes that Belief Systems include both functional or rational beliefs (RBs) and dysfunctional or irrational beliefs (IBs). RBs are usually expressed
as preferences or wishes (I want to perform well and be approved by significant others else my behaviors are faulty) as opposed to IBs which tend to include
absolutistic musts, shoulds, and demands (I must perform well and have to be approved by significant others or I am a worthless person!). The primary method of
effecting change through REBT involves learning to Dispute irrational beliefs. The process ofDisputing (D), as described by Ellis, involves asking and answering a
series of questions:
1.

Realistic Disputing. Why must I perform well? Where is it written that I must be approved by others? Answer: There
is no evidence that I must or have to, but it would be highly preferable if I did.

2.

Logical Disputing. Does it follow that if I perform badly and lose the approval of others that it will make me
an inadequate person? Answer: No, it will only make my deedsinadequate; but my performance is not me nor my total
personhood.

3.

Pragmatic Disputing. What results will I get if I believe that I absolutely must always perform well and always be
approved by significant others? Answer: I will make myself anxious and depressed. Do I want to get these results?
Answer: No!

The result of the process of disputing (and other techniques) is the development of what Ellis calls Effective New Philosophies (E) which give rise to healthy emotions
and behaviors (Cs). Keep in mind, however, that not all unpleasant emotions are seen as dysfunctional in REBT, nor are all pleasant emotions seen as functional. As
Froggatt notes, the aim of REBT is not so-called positive thinking, but rather having realistic thoughts, emotions and behaviors that are in proportion to the events and
circumstances an individual experiences.
Emotive-Behavioral
Techniques
in
REBT
REBT evolved through the years to include more emphasis on emotive and behavioral techniques as Ellis own understanding of the importance of these processes
likewise evolved. Even though REBT retains a prominent focus on changing cognition, Ellis rather emphatically stated that if people wanted to effect self-helping
consequences
they had better work on their Believing-Emoting-Behaving and not merely their Believing. More specifically, they had better vigorously and forcefully (that is,
emotively) change their dysfunctional Bs; and at the same time, they forcefully and persistently feel and act against them.
As such, in addition to cognitive methods such as Disputing, Ellis promoted several emotive and behavioral techniques in a multimodal approach to self-improvement.
The best known of these techniques are Rational Emotive Imagery and Shame-Attacking Exercises.
Rational Emotive Imagery. Ellis observed that REBT notably recognizes healthy and unhealthy feelings when people react to some unfortunate Adversities (As). It
considers consequent feelings of sorrow, regret, frustration, and annoyance as healthy or self-helping; and it sees anxietizing, depressing, and raging as unhealthy or selfsabotaging . . . keenly sorrowing and regretting about a serious loss is not considered to be having an unhealthy emotional problem . . . [one should be] concerned about,
say, losing a job or acquiring poor physical health because lack of such concern may lead to poor results. A practical method for distinguishing healthy and unhealthy
emotions and for learning to change destructive emotions to self-helping ones is found in a technique which Ellis and Maultsby describe as Rational Emotive Imagery
(REI).
In REI, a past or anticipated bad event is imagined vividly. The circumstances are considered in great detail. Conversations are imagined. Actions are visualized. The
situation is recreated or allowed to unfold entirely in the minds eye. The most extreme negative emotions are allowed to flow forth and are felt thoroughly and
completely without fear or hesitation. The mental recreation is expanded and continued until the emotional reaction has become as disturbing as possible. After the
unhealthy emotions are felt for a few minutes, shift focus to quickly and consciously change the feelings from disturbed to merely unpleasant. For example, change them

from anxiety and depression to regret and disappointment. Ellis believed that with sustained practice through REI, automatic unhealthy emotional reactions can be
replaced with healthy emotional reactions.
Shame-Attacking Exercises. Shame implies a self-downing condemnation a regret that has been internalized and then expanded to become a negative global rating
of oneself. As a means to counter the self-destruction caused by shame, Ellis proposed a method of in vivo desensitization referred to as shame-attacking exercises,
which he described as follows:
[The individual does] something that they consider shameful, risk rejection by others for doing it, and show themselves even when they do get rejected they can have a
non-upsetting philosophy and attitude. Too bad. Its not awful that I was disapproved for doing this shameful act, and I can still live and be happy!'
Obviously, the chosen act should not be something that could bring harm to oneself or others, but merely something silly that might attract negative attention. Common
examples of suitable exercises include shouting out the prices of various items in a grocery store, or wearing odd clothing in public. The point of the exercise is to
practice adopting a viewpoint of slight regret (even humor) at the rejection of others, instead of one of shame.
E. Secondary Disturbances
One of the more important elements of REBT is the recognition what Ellis calls secondary disturbances. In his practice, Ellis observed that his clients had often upset
themselves by making irrational demands about their being upset. Simply put, people tend to create anxiety about being anxious, depression about being depressed,
obsess about their obsessions and so on. In effect, a person who experiences primary situational anxiety from an event like boarding a subway car will often make
matters worse by telling himself something like this: I must not panic! Its awful to panic! I am a weakling and failure for having these panic attacks. Others will see
that I am panicking and that would be terrible! Another common secondary disturbance is guilt for example, people with anger problems may down themselves for
having difficulty controlling their rage. The unfortunate result is a cascading effect wherein the primary and secondary disturbances build upon and reinforce each other.
Inasmuch, REBT places strong emphasis on addressing secondary disturbances as a means to gain access to and change the primary disturbances.
F. REBT Homework Assignments
Unlike many other forms of discussion therapy, REBT is designed to be brief and it is geared towards teaching clients how to help themselves in the future rather than
spending years in therapy rehashing the past and searching in vain for magical epiphanies. As such, clients are given practical homework assignments which allow
real-world implementation of REBT principles. Change through REBT only comes through diligent effort and repeated practice, and therefore requires some level of
discipline and desire to do the necessary work.
Aside from the above-described emotive-behavioral techniques of REI and Shame-Attacking that might be given as homework, cognitive homework often includes
completing forms which allow the individual to see in black and white the ABCs (and DEs) of their own thinking. In addition, because REBT is largely an educational
psychology, individuals are encouraged to take advantage of the many self-help books, pamphlets and documents available which have been authored by Ellis and a
number of other credible REBT practitioners.
REBT Cognitive Homework Worksheet, Developed by Albert Ellis
Conclusion
When Albert Ellis broke with his Freudian psychoanalytic training and created REBT, one must wonder whether or not he was aware of the profound impact he would
have upon the practice of mental health. Based upon one survey of American and Canadian psychologists, Ellis was ranked the second most influential psychotherapist
in history (Carl Rogers ranked first in the survey; Sigmund Freud ranked third). Most significant, however, is the fact that REBT is much more than an interesting
theory. Indeed, repeated clinical studies through the years have confirmed that individuals can experience significant improvement in mental health through
application of the principles of REBT. Furthermore, the practical application of REBT is not complex nor does it require application of esoteric therapeutic approaches.
On the contrary, it is a direct method of self-improvement that is readily accessible to anyone who wishes to make the effort to change. Though not without its
limitations limitations freely acknowledged by Ellis himself REBT is ultimately a philosophy of personal empowerment and a path to psychological well-being.
Sources
Ellis, Albert, Overcoming Destructive Beliefs, Feelings and Behaviors: New Directions for Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, Prometheus Books (New York 2001).
Ellis, Albert, The Myth of Self-Esteem: How Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy Can Change Your Life Forever, Prometheus Books (New York 2005).
Froggatt, Wayne, A Brief Introduction to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (2005).

This entry was posted in 6th Step, 7th Step, Recovery Science, The Steps and
tagged ABC, acceptance,Albert Ellis, catastrophising, core
beliefs, demandingness, disputing, Epictetus, evaluations, inferences,irrational beliefs, labeling, musturbation, peoplerating, philosophy, psychology, rational beliefs,rational emotive imagery, REBT, secondary disturbances, self-esteem, serenity
prayer, shame-attacking,Stoicism on 05/17/2012.
http://thetaoofrecovery.com/2012/05/17/the-philosophy-of-unconditionalacceptance/
http://thetaoofrecovery.com/2012/05/28/taking-steps-6-7/
http://www.rebtnetwork.org/library/tributes/corey.html
http://thetaoofrecovery.com/2012/06/06/the-karma-effect/