Professional Development Report

Table of Contents
Career Interview.. 2-4
Journal 1.5-7
Journal 2....8-11
Journal 3.12-14
Journal 4.15-16
Journal 5.17-19
Resume20-21
Cover Letter..22
Memorandum.23-32
Memorandum 2.33-43
Transcript...44

Career Interview
FINANCE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A PASSION
Sitting in the offices of the now bought-out MBNA as a child I saw early on what the atmosphere of
banking and number crunching was like. On weekends when my Mother was unable to find a baby sitter
she would bring me to her office in Wilmington, Delaware and have me sit in her cubical that had a
window which meant you were a manager. Sitting in the cubical I often got to listen into sales and
routine customer service calls. This attributed to my passion for numbers, helping people, and making a
comfortable living, all of which go perfectly together for Financial Advisors.

UP FOR THE CHALLENGE

Knowing I have a passion for Finance, want to help people, and make a comfortable living I wanted to
interview with a reputable financial firm and reached out to Prudentials finance wing in Hunt Valley,
Maryland and interviewed with their Manager of Financial Services, Jake Marcoux. Before Mr. Marcoux
became the Manager of Financial Services, he was a Financial Advisor for over 10 years. When first
sitting town with Mr. Marcoux when he asked if I would be able to handle the hardest 2-3 years of my
life. When digging deeper into the question, Mr. Marcoux explained that Financial Advisors work
primarily on a fee-based commission on their insurances at Prudential. Although Prudential provides
new Junior Advisors with adequate training programs and helps to provide loyal Prudential clients to
help build a loyal client base Mr. Marcoux stressed that being proactive about rejection and seeking new
clients is a must.

Aside from the challenging aspect of acquiring clients as a Junior Advisor, Mr. Marcoux broke down the
typical procedure of advising for a client as the following
1.
2.
3.
4.

Acquire the client

Go over their goals
Do the research and due diligence
Give a presentation on the information

After acquiring the client and discussing their unique financial goals, as a Financial Advisor you must
compile the information and give a clear written and verbal report in a manner that is understandable to
the audience. This highlights the importance of giving a proper presentation by identifying who your
audience is by discovering their own needs and compiling the information that will be relatable to the
client by using proper techniques and providing appropriate graphs, charts, and tables to assist in visual
aids.
After meeting with Mr. Marcoux, and fully understanding how challenging being a Financial Advisor is, I
feel the challenges posed by the position go perfectly in-hand with my strong background in sales
working at Nordstrom. At Nordstrom I work in Fashion Accessories and the SunShop department, both
of which sales are combined and categorized as the lowest volume departments in the company.
Working in such a low volume department, I face daily challenges involving both meeting my own
personal goal as well as being responsible for meeting department goals. Because the volume in
Accessories and Sunshop is so low I must be proactive about my resources. Often spending down-time
following up with previous customers through phone calls and emails, and being efficient with what
little foot traffic comes into my department.
Although selling womans accessories and sunglasses compared to Insurance securities is comparing
apples and oranges, the principal is the same while being used to a commission environment having to
be proactive. While all the challenges of being a Financial Advisors sound displeasing, paired with my
previous experience and strong motivation I still find myself looking to pursue a career in the Financial
Services industry.

CAN GET BY WITHOUT IN-DEPTH WRITING

For Financial Advisors the main challenges are acquiring the client, finding specific securities for their
individual goals, and presenting the found information to the client in a persuasive presentation. When
working throughout the day, the main source of written communication for Financial Advisors will be
emails, and reports.
Dividing up the typical work day, a Junior Financial Advisor will spend most of their time searching for
clients while a more experienced Advisor who has established their clientele will spend most of their day
compiling their research and relating it to a specific presentation or memo for a client.
While writing may not be the main priority of a Financial Advisor, I still pride myself on improving daily
and acknowledge the fact that my writing ability is my greatest weakness. By receiving feedback, I
understanding that writing is my weakness as I often have various grammatical mistakes, as well as lack
organizational structure and memorable conclusions. Identifying this issue I am able to tailor my
strengths and weaknesses to perspective clients. Rather than using writing proposals I acknowledge that

it may be more beneficial to use my background experience in sales and benefit from my interpersonal
skills and convey information verbally to clients.
Although writing is not a main priority for Financial Advisors there is still a small aspect in the field.
Knowing writing is my weakness, I must continue to get peer feedback and continue with writing
samples as writing is a skill that is acquired through practice.

BREAD AND BUTTER FOR FINANCIAL ADVISORS

Presenting oral presentations is one of the most vital aspects when closing a commissioned sale as a
Senior Financial Advisor. Once the advisor has acquired the client they must put together a persuasive,
organized, and well prepared presentation to convey the research the Junior Advisor and interns have
done In order to give a professional and credible presentation that will close the sale.
Conversely to Senior Financial Advisors spending a considerable amount of their daily work schedule
acquiring new clients and preparing presentations, a considerable amount of preparing presentations
and reports and delegated to interns and Junior Financial Advisors. As interns and Junior Financial
Advisors are still learning their field research and putting presentations together as this gives a hands
on learning experience. Therefore, my first few years as a Junior Financial Advisor would be preparing
presentations and research to be given to the Senior Financial Advisors. Depending on the clientele base
I could expect to prepare several presentations in a single work-day.
When preparing such presentations, a client can expect a well-organized to the point presentation with
visual aids that illustrate the opportunity cost of not only going through on the security investment
versus not going through. Failing to prepare a good presentation will trickle down from the Senior
Advisor being unable to finish the sale.
While BUSX 301 has helped me prepared for quick 90 second and 5-7 minute presentations, being an
advisor will consist of much longer and in-depth presentations. Developing a presentation in BUSX 301
consisted of researching information usually based off the internet, while developing presentations as
an advisor will consist of market securities offered by the firm of employment where all the resources
are provided. Additionally the presentations in BUSX 301 were primarily group-based while as an advisor
the presentations will be individual.

TEAMWORK IS CRUCIAL EARLY ON

Early on a career in being a Financial Advisor, many firms provide hands on training and tries to give
previous clients to new advisors in order to establish a loyal customer base. Additionally, through the
training programs provided, Prudential provides new Financial Advisors to shadow Senior Advisors to
learn appropriate methodologies behind executing presentations, finding new clients, and standard
procedures.
While teamwork is vital in the financial industry, leadership is seen in a more proactive approach.
Leadership in the financial industry, is more toward the senior level helping the interns and junior level
financial advisors.

Through the four years of my coursework I have been put in several teams and learned to work with
cohesion, and leadership. Through my projects I have practiced the ability to research together with my
peers and to accomplish a common goal towards a presentation while also illustrating leadership by
ensuring all team members are all on the same page, similarly to the first years of being a new Junior
Financial Advisor.
Being aware of these challenges faced in the Financial Industry, I believe my previous background in
sales has trained me to be proactive about limited clientele. Additionally, my coursework has allowed
me to learn hands on experiences to work in a team-setting. Mr. Marcoux said Being a Financial Advisor
is the hardest job you can get into for finance and I believe through my past experiences I can handle
the challenges by staying motivated in a commissioned based environment while given the opportunity
to help people by providing them with a more secure financial future and being able to live a
comfortable living.

Journal 1
LEADERSHIP & TEAMWORK LACKING
The KSA worksheet has given me insightful information that allows me to evaluate myself in
regards to the standards set forth.

COMMUNICATION COMES EASY

When evaluating Communication by describing your level of competency to;
Write articulate, persuasive and influential reports, proposals, letters
Make articulate , persuasive and influential oral presentations
Develop graphic, spreadsheet and business analysis to support position taken
Engage in active listening in individual and group settings
Based on the criteria above, I meet three out of four. As a product of taking ENGL 102, BUS 101,
and ACC 205 I am able to write articulate, persuasive and influential reports, as well as Develop
graphic spreadsheets. However having not taken any course that has promoted active listening
and only having experience with this skill through on the job training as a salesperson at
Nordstrom listening to customers individual needs I feel I must improve on it the most.

Following my rigorous coursework through the past four years of my college career, I feel that I
excel in communication aside from active listening. I must improve my listening skills which at
times can hinder my note taking ability, and ultimately affect my overall experience for classes.
Throughout my course work and professional work, I have the ability to strive in
communication. Although I still need to improve on my listening skills if I want to be able to
take better notes in the future.
Based on the standards set fourth I exceeded the standard of three of the four criteria.
Although I need to improve my listening ability in order to take better notes and be more
attentive, I feel that I am a strong communicator. My ENGL 102, ACC 205 and BUS 101 courses
has provided me with the recourses to write and develop persuasive and influential reports,
proposals, and presentations.

ALL STANDARDS MET

Evaluating my level of competency to;
Identify problems and/or opportunities using disciplinary concepts
Generate and evaluate feasible alternative
Develop comprehensive justified conclusions and recommendations using qualitative
and/or quantitative tools
Based on the three criteria set fourth, I exceed all of them. Having previously taken PHIL 101,
PSY 101, and ECON 205, I am able to identify problems and opportunities through working in
teams and time allocation, generate feasible alternatives, and develop comprehensive, justified
conclusions and recommendations using qualitative and or quantitative tools.
Because of my coursework, I exceed the standard in critical thinking. This puts me in a good
position to be able to actively complete any assignments or projects both in the class room and
at work.
Because of my previous coursework, I exceed the standard for critical thinking as I am able to
identify problems and opportunities using disciplinary concepts. Additionally, I am able to
generate and evaluate feasible alternatives, and develop comprehensive and justified
conclusions. This leads to my overall success in the class room as well as on the job projects.

I AM A TEAM PLAYER
When describing your level of competency to;
Focus on goal achievement
Guide team toward the achievement of common goals
Maintain group cohesion, follower satisfaction, and efficient operations
I exceed the standard of focusing on goal achievement, guiding team toward the achievement
of common goals and maintaining group cohesion through my experience of working in a team

sales environment as a primary gold is to ensure the department as a whole exceeds their daily
sales goals to ensure our merchandise vendors stay with the company.
Working in a team sales environment that stresses both individual and team orientated goals to
ensure long term employment, I have been given the ability to strive in leadership and
teamwork situations
Because of my success in leadership through my working career and on-campus organizations
by holding a leadership position being the Chief Financial Officer for Alpha Kappa Psi and teamorientated projects, I am able to adhere to group projects and accommodate team members.
Based on the criteria on Leadership & Teamwork, I find myself exceeding the standard as I am
able to focus on goal achievement, guide teams toward the achievement of common goals, and
maintain group cohesion through my experiences working in both individual and team sales
environments.
Interviewing and Portfolio Needs Work
When evaluating my level of competency to:
Show evidence of a quality, mentored, reflective professional experience
Demonstrate effective job search, career portfolio, resume and interview skills
Assume responsibility for ones own career management and goal setting
Based on the criteria set fourth for Marketability, I exceed the standards for resume building,
interview skills, assuming responsibility for ones own career management and goal-setting
through my professional life experiences as well as being a part of Alpha Kappa Psi. However I
lack the ability to demonstrate effective job search, and career portfolio.
Because of my skills in resume and interview building I am able to conduct myself in a
professional manor, but lack the skills needed for effective job search, and career portfolio as I
have never taken a course or workshop regarding the necessary skills for effective job search
and career portfolio building.
Having little to no experience with effective job searching and managing my career portfolio, I
must make the appropriate steps before entering the job market post-graduation by seeking
out career workshops offered by the Towson Career Center.
Being a brother in Alpha Kappa Psi has attributed to my success factors with effective resume
building, interview skills, assuming responsibility for ones own career management, and goal
setting. Consequently, I lack the skills necessary for effective job search and career portfolio
and will need to improve on them prior to entering the job market post-graduation.

Journal 2
PRESENTATION NEEDS WORK
In this journal entry I evaluate my 90 second presentation by using the MODS method to
critique my ability to portray adequate:
1.
2.
3.
4.

Message
Organization
Design
Style

After viewing my presentation video, I have found that I need to work on all aspects of the
MODS approach, being strongest in style and weakest in message as I tend to use filler words
such as um and like and failed to follow an allocated timeline.

Audience Gets Lost Through Fillers

When evaluating my message, I found that I fell below the standard as I presented incomplete
answers, and a non-existent conclusion. This is due to my misjudged timing, preparation, and
the use of filler words.

Questions Left Unanswered

When asked:
1. Did I answer all assignment-specific questions?
2. Did I provide sufficient, documented support for all relevant statements?
3. Did I provide a strong attention grabbing opening and a memorable closing?

I fell below the standard on all three criteria. When answering assignment specific questions, I
found that I rushed through the presentation often finding myself scrambling for words and
ultimately leaving the audiences questions unanswered. When evaluating my documentation
for all relevant statements, I failed to cite my sources receiving a 0. As I began my presentation,
I introduced myself and stated the meaning of my presentation, but failed to give a memorable
closing due my misjudgment on timing.

Shake It Off
Moving forward, I need to develop a more efficient time table for my presentation in order to
have adequate time to answer all assignment-specific questions. Additionally, I must cite all
relevant sources and statements, giving my audience a sense of legitimacy. Furthermore, as I
began my presentation relatively strong, I must finish with a memorable conclusion leaving my
audience with all of their questions answered.

Organization Is Mediocre
When evaluating my organization, I found that I had general organization. Scoring a 6 in
organization I fell below the standard as my transitions were clouded by filler words and
miscalculation.

Easily Fixable
Moving forward, I found that my intentions were well mannered but lacked execution.
Moreover, I need to slow down and reduce the number of filler words as that can ruin a wellexecuted transition. Additionally, I must time myself and make sure my presentation falls into
the correct amount of allotted time.

Design Lacks Excellence

Evaluating my style, I fell below the standard of 7 by receiving a 5. When looking at my slides, I
found that I lacked visual aids and used graphs poorly. I cluttered the slides with two graphs
that causes the audience to become overwhelmed by information taking their focus away from
me, and to the picture.

Going From Average to Excellence

In order to exceed the standard in design I must be more attentive to my PowerPoint slides
design and use of graphs. For my presentation I used a basic template that did not stand out to
the audience or provide an attention grabbing experience. Moving forward, I need to use more
illustrations that provide my audience with a sense of story. Additionally, learning the correct
use of graphs is essential for my audience to retain the given information.

Style Is Almost There

When evaluating my Style, I used the following criteria:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Connects with the audience through the use of activities

Demonstrates poise and enthusiasm
Engages the audience through eye contact
Demonstrates natural poise, gestures, and movement
Speak with appropriate enunciation, diction, and volume

When connecting with the audience through the use of activities, I fell below the standard of 7
receiving a 3. As I began my presentation I failed to actively engage with my audience as I only
introduced myself, and why I was presenting.
When demonstrating poise and enthusiasm, I met the standard of 7 by speaking with
confidence, being comfortable and having a good delivery despite the use of my filler words.
As I engaged the audience through eye contact I fell slightly below the standard of 7, scoring a
6. Although I maintained eye contact through most of my presentation, I found myself speaking
toward the screen of my PowerPoint presentation.
As I demonstrated natural poise, gestures, and movement; I met the standard of 7 by speaking
some-what relaxed, having natural gestures, and movements when illustrating key points.
When speaking with enunciation, diction, and volume; I met the standard of 7 by speaking with
mostly clear enunciation, and occasionally speaking too fast with filler words.

Style Is Close To Where It Needs To Be

In order to exceed the standard for style in my future presentations, I must be more engaging
with activities. Although I began my presentation with a some-what attention grabbing
introduction, demonstrating an activity will give my presentation and audience a higher sense
of refinement.
As I met the standard for demonstrating poise and enthusiasm, going forward I must better
prepare myself, reduce the amount of filler words, and give fluent transitions to exceed the
standard.
When engaging the audience with eye contact, I must practice my presentation to a higher
degree in order to reduce the amount of time spend looking at my PowerPoint slides and more
time making eye contact with my audience If I want to exceed the standard.
In order for me to exceed the standard for demonstrating natural poise, gestures, and
movement, I must reduce the amount of filler words, and practice my introduction. Reducing
the amount of filler words and practicing my introduction more will aid me in the confidence of
my presentation.

As I met the standard for speaking with appropriate enunciation, diction, and volume; in order
to exceed the standard I must be more comfortable in moving around. Moving around during a
presentation will allow me to have a more relaxed feel, and keep the attention of the audience.

The Future Looks Bright

Moving forward for my presentations, I must focus primarily on the use of filler words, the
allotted time-frame, and PowerPoint design. If I am able to cut out the use of filler words I will
be able to execute smooth transitions. Additionally, paying more attention to the allotted timeframe is crucial in order to give the audience completed ideas and answers. Lastly, I must
improve the design of my PowerPoint slides, focusing on using more visual aids and knowing
how and when to use appropriate graphs.

Journal 3
1 HEADED IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION
In this journal entry I will evaluate myself and team members from Team 29 on our presentation covering
the financial aspects of Under Armour vs Puma using the Four Elements of a Finding method, while
focusing on the following categories:
1.
2.
3.
4.

Message
Organization
Design
Style

After watching the recorded presentation I found that my teams weakness is in style as we lacked
audience participation, and is strongest in organization due to our practice and team meet-ups.

Message Is Clear
When evaluating our message we will be addressing:
1. Answers all assignment specific questions
2. Provides specific documented support for all relevant statements
3. Provides strong attention grabbing opening; provides a memorable closing
For answering all assignment specific questions the standard is a 7 and our team received a 9. This is
because of our team having up to date data and rehearsing our presentation which allows for our team to
be able to execute our message clearly.
When providing specific documented support for all relevant statements the standard is a 7 and our team
received a 10 as we properly documented and sited all information that is not common knowledge.
When evaluating our teams ability to provide a strong attention grabbing opening and providing a
memorable closing, the standard is a 7 and our team received an 8. Our team exceeded the standard
because we started the presentation with a strong attention grabbing opening and finished with a closing
statement that was memorable.
In order for our team to receive a 10 for the categories above we must practice our execution, synergy,
and closing statements. If we are able to improve our execution and improve our conclusion statements
our presentations message will exceed the standard much further.

Organization on Target
When evaluating our teams organization we will look at:
1. Structures presentation in a logical and rhetorically appropriate manner
The standard is a 7 and our team received a 10. This is because of our teams willingness to work together
by meeting on a regular basis and practicing to ensure our information followed a logical order.
Moving forward, our team must continue to meet on a regular basis to ensure our organization continues
to exceed the standard.

Fixable
Evaluating our teams design we look at:
1. Uses a simple and highly visual slide design
For slide design the standard is a 7 and our team received an 8 exceeding the standard. This is because our
team carefully selected high resolution pictures and limited the amount of text on the slides. Moving
forward, in order for our team to further exceed the standard, we must continue to use high resolution
pictures and enhance our overall slide design ensuring there are not any errors.

Major Changes Needed

When evaluating our teams style we look at:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Connects with the audience through the use of activities

Demonstrates poise and enthusiasm
Engage with the audience through eye contact
Demonstrates natural poise, gestures, and movement
Speaks with appropriate enthusiasm, diction, and volume

The standard for connecting with the audience through the use of activities is a 7 and our team received a
3. Our teams failure the reach and exceed the standard for style is because of our lack of visual aids.
Going forward, our team must implement appropriate visual aids that are appealing but not too distractive
to the audience.
When demonstrating poise and enthusiasm, the standard is a 7 and our team received an 8. Our team
exceeded the standard by practicing our presentation multiple times thus allowing ourselves to become
comfortable with the material. Moving forward our team must reduce the amount of ums in order to
exceed the standard even further.
As our team engaged the audience through eye contact, the standard is a 7 and our team exceeded the
standard by receiving an 8. This is because our team preparation and practice. Moving forward our team
must be more prepared with their material and stray away from the use of note cards.

When demonstrating natural poise, gestures, and movement the standard is a 7 and our team met the
standard by receiving a 7. This is because our team made some good gestures and moved around somewhat. In order for our team to exceed the standard we must practice our presentation material further in
order to feel more relaxed and natural.
When speaking with appropriate enthusiasm, diction, and volume, the standard is a 7 and our team met
the standard by receiving a 7. Our team met the standard because we spoke mostly clear, with the
exception of speaking too fast and using filler-words such as um occasionally. Moving forward, team
29 must recognize the importance of speaking the appropriate diction, and clarity, giving the audience a
more engaging experience.

Excellence in Sight
Moving forward, team 29 must put in major changes to our presentation style as it is our lowest category.
Additionally, if team 29 wants to continue to exceed the standard on message, organization, and design
we must continue to practice our presentation material while meeting on a regular basis. Team 29 has laid
a good foundation for our presenting skills and will continue to improve contingent on improving our
style category.

Journal 4
MEMO IS FAR BELOW THE STANDARD
In this journal entry I evaluate my Business Communication Evaluation and discuss the critiques received
by my peers and Professor by using the Four Elements of a Finding as a basis of criteria.
After looking over my critiques and graded rubric from my previous submission, I have found that my
Business Communication Evaluation is far below the standard in several categories.

Documentation Is Vital For Message

On the graded rubric from my previous submission, I scored well below the standard of at 7 by receiving
a 3 when being graded on documenting my information. Such a low grade was given as I failed to
document any of my statistics given in my report making my information less-convincing and lacking
credibility. Moving forward documenting future assignments and projects are vital for credibility,
convincing the audience, and given the proper due diligence where needed.
Another criteria that was scored below the standard was my introduction as I received a 6. Following a
deductive structure, my introduction should have been able to identify to the reader which of the two
companies was in a better financial position than its competition. Instead, my introduction stated which
of the two companies was better off in mediocre analogies. Moving forward, my introduction should be
able to stand on its own and given the reader a clear bottom line on the topic of my assignment.
When answering all assignment-specific questions, I scored on par with the standard by receiving a 7.
Answering all questions, I was able to score on par of the standard, but failed to exceed the standard by
failing to provide finite details.
Lastly in my Business Evaluations organization criteria, I targeted my messaged to the audience and met
the standard by receiving a 7. Meeting the standard was achieved by explaining to the audience which
of the two companies was in a better financial position than the other. Moving forward in order to
exceed the standard, my document must contain more explicit details by addressing the audiences
needs.

Organization Requires the Least

Following the Four Elements of a Finding, the organization criteria received the highest score in my
Business Communication Evaluation by exceeding the standard when using parallel transitions, and
meeting the standard when structuring the document deductively.

By structuring my paragraph with topic sentences and transitions, I met the standard by receiving a 7
when being evaluated on the structure of the document. Moving forward in order to exceed the
standard I must use a more defined deductive structure and execute my topic sentences more clearly.
When evaluating my transitions I exceeded the standard by receiving an 8. Moving forward based off of
the critiques I have received I must work on smoother transitions between paragraphs and topic
sentences.

Design is Non-Existent
Based on the graded rubric and through the critiques of my peers, I fell well below the standard by
receiving a zero when evaluating the ability to format headings, lists, and text. Previously, I did not use
headings nor detailed lists to illustrate important information. Moving forward, I must use appropriate
headings for each topic.
When providing headings that can be interpreted as stand along sentences, I exceeded the standard.
This was achieved by providing the reader with insight as to what they were about to read. Moving
forward, I must continue to use headings as stand-alone sentences.
When providing readable graphs, charts, and tables I fell well below the standard and received a zero.
This was due to my inability to portray important information in easy to read graphs and charts to help
give a mental image. Moving forward, I have acknowledged the importance for mental images and will
interpret them into my future reports.

Proof Reading Needed

Evaluating my word choice, I exceeded the standard by receiving an 8. By keeping my sentences to plain
language I was able to convey the report in simple teams and refrain from using clichs or analogies to
ensure any reader would be able to interpret the information. Moving forward I must continue to write
in simple terms while executing more precise terminology.
My Lower Level Concerns in this document were graded as a minus eight. Moving forward I must seek
additional feedback and proof reading as grammatical mistakes are easily avoidable.
My Business Communication Evaluation is far from excellence. Pin pointing the flaws of my report, I
must incorporate the use of graphs, charts, and tables to help ease the reader through the process and
give them visual aids to help interpret the information. Additionally I must use proper headings throughout the report. Lastly, I must take advantages of writing resources and have my reports proof red and
use a more lasting conclusion.

Journal 5
INTERVIEW EXCEEDS THE STANDARD
In this journal entry I evaluate my Mock Interview with Towson Cornerstone Group, LLC. Using the Four
Elements of a Finding to critique my abilities in:

Message
Organization
Style

After watching my Mock Interview video, I have found that I exceed the standards in all categories
stated above besides Style as I need to improve on my abilities to engage with the audience.

ALL QUESTIONS ARE ANSWERED

When evaluating my message, I far exceeded the standard of a 7 by receiving a 10 when asked if I
Answers all assignment-specific questions. This is achieved by researching Towson Cornerstone Group,
LLC. In Advance, while reading over the potential interview questions and tailoring the answers to my
previous experience in the work place. Moving forward, I must continue to research my potential
employers and come prepared if I am to exceed the standard.

STATEMENTS ARE CREDIBLE

Looking at if I Provides sufficient, documented support for all relevant statements I exceeded the
standard of a 7 by receiving a 10. Exceeding the standard was achievable by ensuring all my interview
responses were supported by the content on my resume. Moving forward, If I am continue to exceed
the standard I must continue to focus my interview answers based on the content of my resume.

INTERVIEW COULD BE MORE MEMORABLE

Evaluating my ability open and close an interview based off of Provides a strong attention grabbing
opening; provides a memorable closing I exceeded the standard of a 7 by receiving a 9. Although I
provided a memorable closing statement, I failed to execute a strong attention grabbing opening as my
opening was clouded by several filler-words. Moving forward if I am to continue to exceed the standard,

I must continue to conclude a strong closing statement while improving my opening by reducing the
amount of filler-words.

ORGANIZATION IS WHERE IT NEEDS TO BE

Evaluating my organizational abilities I exceeded the standard of a 7 by receiving a 10. This is
accomplished by responding to questions directly while staying focused on the line of questions. If I am
to continue to exceed the standard in organization moving forward, I must continue to be attentive to
the interviewer without getting distracted or trying to avoid the question by moving off topic.

ENGAGEMENT IS LACKING
Evaluating my engagement with the audience through Connects with the audience through the use of
activities style I met the standard by receiving a 7. I was able to meet the standard of a 7 by providing
imaginative visual aids when I responded to questions by storytelling. Moving forward, If I want to
exceed the standard for engagement I must provide tangible visual aids or handouts such as a portfolio
of previous work.

MY INTERVIEW WAS UPBEAT

Evaluating my ability to Demonstrates poise and enthusiasm I exceeded the standard of a 7 by
receiving a 9. Exceeding the standard was achieved by feeling relaxed during the interview and taking
my time with the given questions. Moving forward, if I want to receive a 10 I must expand upon being
relaxed and time my time rather than using filler-words.

EYE CONTACT IS ENGAGING

When evaluating if I Engages the audience through eye contact I exceeded the standard of a 7 by
receiving a 9. This is achieved by not looking at notes and hardly breaking eye contact during the
interview. Moving forward if I want to continue to exceed the standard I must continue to come
prepared by not looking at my notes and strive to my engaging eye contact.

INTERVIEW WAS A LITTLE STIFF

Evaluating my ability to Demonstrates natural posture, gestures, and movement I exceeded the
standard of a 7 by receiving an 8. This was achieved by using natural hand gestures and feeling relaxed.
Moving forward if I want to receive a 10 I must reduce the amount I hunch over by sitting straight up
and continue to use natural hand gestures.

ENTHUSIASM CAN BE MONOTONE

Looking at my ability to Speaks with appropriate enunciation, diction, and volume I exceeded the
standard of a 7 by receiving an 8. This was achieved by speaking with the appropriate volume and
diction. Moving forward, if I want to receive a 10, I must reduce the amount of phrases spoken in monotone and use more enthusiasm to keep the interviewers attention.

INTERVIEW IS GOOD BUT CAN IMPROVE

Although during my Mock Interview I exceeded the standard of a 7 in all but one category, I can still
improve greatly on my use of filler-words, posture, eye contact, and opening with a more engaging
opening. Moving forward I need to emphasize taking a relaxed approach and understanding it is better
to sit in silent than to think out loud with ums.

Micah J. Killman

| (443) 207-1857

micahkillman@gmail.com

College address: 408 Campus View Dr Towson, MD 21204

Permanent address: 121 W Thomson Dr., Elkton, MD 21921

OBJECTIVE

Finance student with proven leadership and organizational skills seeking an

internship with Towson Cornerstone Group, LLC to apply my abilities
in the financial services industry while emphasizing continual development of
my analytical skills to prepare myself for an entry level position post-graduation.

EDUCATION

Bachelor of Science, Business Administration, Concentration: Finance, May

2017
Towson University, Towson, Maryland

1.1 ASSOCIATE OF ARTS, BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION FALL 2015

Cecil College, Northeast, Maryland

SKILLS

Bloomberg Certified
Towson Computer Proficiency Certified: Microsoft Office
Sales Skills, Leadership

1.1.1

EXPERI
ENCE

1.1.2 Morgan Properties, Glenburnie, MD, Summer 2017

Intern

Working closely with the property management and leasing

Overcoming objections faced by disgruntled tenants
Processing of over 1,000 tenants payments

Nordstrom, Towson, MD, Fall 2014, Current

Salesperson

ACTIVITIES &
AWARDS

Setting appointments with clients

Preformed follow-ups to ensure long term relationships
Achieved top seller in pay period 8 times

Alpha Kappa Psi,

Chief Financial Officer
Process payments of dues for over 80 active brothers
Manage over $25,000 in chapter funds, while allocating
budgets for each Chair position
Coordinate weekly executive meetings

Mr. Christopher Thacker Managing Partner

Towson Cornerstone Group, LLC
7800 York Road,
Towson, Maryland 1252
Dear Mr. Thacker,
As a highly skilled Finance student, I read your posting for an entry-level analyst position with interest.
My experience correlates well with the qualifications you are seeking at Towson Cornerstone Group,
LLC. In particular my role as a salesperson with Nordstrom has given me the insight to work well with
clients one on one while solving their unique and specific problems. I am certain I would make a
valuable addition to your organization.
With more than 4 years experience in direct-service industry, I am adept in strategy development,
problem solving, and execution. Moreover, while my on-the-job training has afforded me a well-rounded
skill set, including world class sales skills by achieving top salesmen in 8 pay periods in 2015.I excel at
working independently and in a team environment by achieving personal sales goals by directly taking the
clients unique needs for weddings, cocktail parties, or interviews, etc., and achieving them through active
listening and personalized recommendations while also assisting team members when they do not have
information for a specific product or need help with sale pitches.
In addition to my experience and personal qualities, I have an educational foundation with a passion for
investments and managing capital. During my time in Alpha Kappa Psi, I have taken on the leadership
role of being the Chapters Chief Financial Officer. Being the CFO I am directly responsible for
managing the Chapters near $25,000 and processing over 80 Brothers bi-yearly dues. Additionally, I am
responsible for ensuring all the necessary payments including the Chapters insurance are paid and
formulating a budget for each executive chair position.
Please review my attached resume for additional details regarding my experience, qualifications, and
skills. Please let me know the best time to contact you.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Micah Killman

Memorandum
To: Christopher Thacker, Managing Partner
From: Kevin Thompson, Zac Plotkin, Micah Killman, Chelsea Ellis, Group 29 Recruiting Team
Date: May 12, 2016
Subject: Recommendation For Best Candidate For Junior Financial Analyst Position

Ryan Cantrell is Top Choice Among 100 Applicants

We are the members of the Group 29 recruiting team, and we were assigned to collectively evaluate the
candidates who applied for the entry level Junior Analyst position at Towson Cornerstone Group, LLC.
The selection process involved evaluating 100 candidates and narrowing down that number based on
resumes, cover letters, interviews, and writing samples. After much deliberation, we have come to the
conclusion that Ryan Cantrell should be hired as the new financial analyst. To get to this conclusion, we
first selected five top candidates based on resumes: Jullyenne Antunes, Alexander Prochnicki, Rachel
Fredman, Ryan Cantrell, and Steven Bond. We evaluated all five cover letters to determine our top three,
whose interviews were then reviewed to determine our top two. Finally, writing samples from each of our
top two candidates were evaluated, which brought us to our conclusion that Ryan Cantrell should get the
job.

Top Five Resumes Out of All Submissions

The Group 29 Recruiting Team received resumes from nearly 100 applicants for the position as a Junior
Analyst at Towson Cornerstone Group, LLC. In order to choose the best candidate for this position the
team used the following five elements as criteria to sort through the resumes:
1. Clear objective statement
2. Minimum GPA of 3.0
3. Skills that highlight analytical ability
4. Relevant experience
5. Participation in extracurricular activities on or off campus
At first, Group 29 looked for candidates resumes with strong objective statements. To be strong the
objective statement needed to focus on the position and provide a vision of the candidates position within
Towson Cornerstone Group LLC. Second, the team eliminated candidates based on GPA. The criteria
used was that the candidate had to have a minimum of a 3.0 GPA with a preference on candidates with a
GPA of 3.5 or higher. Third, the team focused on the skills each candidate had that highlighted analytical
abilities that would make the candidate the best fit for the junior analyst position. These abilities
consisted of but are not limited to; computer proficiency, foreign languages, programming, and software
knowledge. Relevant experience through jobs and internships was the fourth criteria analyzed. The team
wanted to discover which candidates had prior experience which prepared them for success in the position
applied for. Finally, it was noted which candidates participated in extensive amounts extracurricular
activities. These activities consisted of clubs, groups and teams on campus as well as off campus
volunteering in the community and membership in other groups.
After evaluating all the candidates based on these five criteria, the team was able to narrow the list down
to the top five candidates. Below, in Table 1 the scores for the top five candidates in each criterion are
listed. Individual scores are out of 10 points with a standard score of 7 and the TOTAL column is out of
50 points, with the standard being 35.
Table 1. Resume Evaluation
Objective

GPA

Skills

Experience

Activities

TOTAL

Jullyenne
Antunes

10

45

Alexander
Prochnicki

10

42

Rachel Fredman

41

Ryan Cantrell

10

44

Steven Bond

39

Once the evaluation of all candidates was complete, the team found the top five candidates to be
Jullyenne Antunes, Alexander Prochniki, Rachel Fredman, Ryan Cantrell, and Steven Bond. All
candidates had a GPA of 3.7 /4.0 or higher, which showed that each performed well in the classroom and
now have potential to perform highly in a professional setting. Each candidate has individual strengths
and weaknesses that are discussed further.

Jullyenne Antunes work experience is promising. To start, Jullyenne Antunes has a strong,
clear objective. It provided a vision that Ms. Antunes wanted to provide guidance in the job to increase
company proficiency. As for GPA, Ms. Antunes had a 3.75 which was far above the minimum of 3.0. Her
skills consist of knowledge of Microsoft software and being fluent in Portuguese. Having a second
language is a huge advantage over other candidates. Ms. Antunes work experience is what stood out the
most. Developing a data warehouse and presenting various presentations to management as a Student
Financial Management Intern prove experience as an analyst and a presenter. Her activity as the Vice
President of Careers and Placement shows experience in leadership and teamwork. Overall, Ms. Antunes
scored a 45 out of 50, 10 points above the standard. This score implies that she has potential to succeed
and will provide strong analytical skills to Towson Cornerstone Group, LLC.

Alexander Prochnickis activities stand out. Alexander Prochnicki is another candidate chosen
as a top five contender based off of resume evaluation. Mr. Prochnicki had a clear objective statement that
stated skills that he has, but failed to explain how these skills will help better Towson Cornerstone Group.
His GPA of 3.8 exceeded the minimum and was one of the highest evaluated, which represented hard
work and determination in college. Mr. Prochnicki is experienced with Microsoft Office and is
communicate in Spanish but not fluent. He lacks professional experience with a large firm but was able to
exemplify relevant analytical skills as a sales associate at True Value Hardware, where he increased
efficiency of orders by developing flowcharts and presenting his findings to managers. Because of this
analytical work the company increased sales by 7% that year. Finally, it was Mr. Procknickis various
activities as a group member at both Towson University and St. Josephs College that made him stand out
as a promising candidate. The list is extensive and shows a good sense of time management, organization,
and teamwork skills. Being a Leadership and Success Member with Sigma Alpha Phi shows his
leadership, and his membership in the Honors College and Tau Sigma Honor Society prove he is among
the top students in his class. Overall, Mr. Prochnicki scored a 42, 7 points above the standard. His
experience in team member and leadership roles stand out the most, along with his success in school
based off of his GPA evaluation.

Rachel Fredman has extensive skills and a high GPA. Rachel Fredman is direct with her
objective presenting personal goals, but needs to include ways in which Towson Cornerstone Group will
benefit if she is awarded with the position. Her GPA of 3.85 is highly competitive and is one of the

factors that makes her stand out. It is far above the minimum and proves determination for success in
school. Being a member of the Honors College and managing to have that high of a GPA and to be placed
on the Deans List 3 times exemplifies determination for success. Along with a high GPA, Ms. Fredman
has an extensive list of skills that can be applied as an analyst. The most noteworthy are familiarity with
Microsoft office, Java, HTML, and intermediate skills in Spanish and Hebrew. All of these skills stand
out because of their extent and ability. As for experience, Ms. Fredman has a long list of job experience
which proves she is experienced in many different types of work environments. The only downside is that
none of the jobs provided experience doing analytical work. Her activity as an organizer for the guest
speaker presentation at Hillel represents her experience as a leader and her independence. Overall, Ms.
Fredman scored a 41 out of 50, 6 points above the standard. Her stand out qualities were her high GPA
and the many skills she as to offer. Her lack of analytical job experience was the only negative, but she
made up for it with the amount of variability in the jobs she has had.

Ryan Cantrells consistent GPA stood out. Ryan Cantrell was another candidate chosen as a
top 5 prospect after the resume evaluation. Mr. Cantrell provided a strong objective that highlighted
personal skills and also provided what value he will bring to Towson Cornerstone Group if hired. He had
a GPA of 3.87 at Towson University 4.0 in his time at Anne Arundel Community College. These high
GPAs from both colleges provide evidence of his ability to adapt to different settings and still maintain
success and achieve grades higher than most peers. Mr. Cantrell has skills in MS Office and some
programming skills as well. He also has relevant work experience as an analyst for ARINC Inc. where he
recorded over 100 errors in software code, but did not have experience presenting the problems or
solutions to upper level management. Mr. Cantrell was also a member of the Maryland Society of
Accounting but did not take part in many other relevant activities. Overall, Mr. Cantrell scored a 44, 9
above the average with significant performance in the GPA standard.

Steven Bond has the highest Towson GPA among candidates. Steven Bond was the last of
the 5 candidates to be taken as a prospect after the resume evaluation. Mr. Bond wrote an objective that
was satisfactory, in that it provided what he hopes to achieve as a member of Towson Cornerstone Group,
but it did not mention what skills he had to offer or what benefit he will bring to the company. His GPA is
what made him stand out the most among other applicants at 3.953. This was the highest among all top
candidates chosen. Mr. Bonds skills lend himself to being familiar with different analytic software, such
as Google and Twitter, but he is not experienced with Microsoft Office. Mr. Bond has experience in the
workplace from working on analyzing social media posts when he was with IMRE. This is analytical but
not on a financial level and he did not have experience presenting his findings to management. His
activities did not have much impact on the decision to make him a top 5 candidate but being a member of
the Tau Sigma Honor Society is still relevant. Overall, Mr. Bond scored a 39 out of 50. His GPA is
essentially what made him a prospect to be chosen as a junior analyst because it represents his
determination to succeed.

Cover Letter Evaluation to Follow Resume Review. After completing the resume
evaluations, Jullyenne Antunes, Alexander Prochnicki, Rachel Fredman, Ryan Cantrell, and Steven Bond
meet and exceed the resume criteria in comparison to all other applicants. The next step in Group 29s
recruiting process is to evaluate the cover letters of these top 5 candidates. This evaluation will provide a
closer look as to who is truly qualified for the position.

Assessment Based on Cover Letters Identifies Top Three Candidates

After selecting the top five applicants, Team 29 reviewed and evaluated each of their cover letters as well.
The evaluations of each cover letter were based on the following criteria:
1. Message

2. Organization
3. Design
4. Style
When evaluating message, the team looked for each candidates ability to accurately describe the KSAs
they held which were compatible with being a junior analyst. The team also evaluated the candidates
abilities to target their message towards the appropriate audience, and provide a clear bottom line. For
organization, cover letters were graded based on the rhetorical structure and fluidity of the document. In
terms of design, the candidates needed to format their lists and headings consistently. Finally, performing
well in style required the use of appropriate diction in relation to their audience.
At the end of this evaluation, Team 29 selected the top three candidates for the position of Junior
Financial Analyst. In order, they are Jullyenne Antunes, Rachel Fredman, and Ryan Cantrell. The
following table gives the scores of each candidates cover letter evaluations, based on the criteria stated
above. Each individual category is worth 10 points, with the total being out of 40.
Table 2. Cover Letter Evaluation
Name
Message
9
Jullyenne
Antunes
8
Rachel
Fredman
8
Ryan
Cantrell
7
Alexander
Prochnicki
7
Steven Bond

Organization
9

Design
10

Style
10

Total
38

34

10

33

30

29

Jullyenne Atunes scores highest among every category. The highest performing candidate in
terms of cover letter quality was Jullyenne Atunes. The message of the letter was strong and clear. Ms.
Atunes did an excellent job identifying specific knowledge, skills, and abilities she had which related to
the position in question. She mentioned several experiences she has had that boosted her critical thinking,
communication, and teamwork skills, which were supported by the content of her resume. The letter also
did a fantastic job of addressing the audience and meeting their needs. Finally, her introduction contained
a solid bottom line, and enough information for it to stand alone.
The organization of Ms. Atunes cover letter was also very good. She used deductive structure and
adequate transitions on multiple levels of the document. One instance where the organization of the letter
faltered, was the lack of parallel structure between her introduction and body paragraphs. She wrote about
her educational background, and past work experience, which made her an ideal candidate for this
position. She did not, however, end up mentioning her education after that. Even with this mistake, the
organization of the letter still exceeded the standard.
Ms. Atunes also performed highly in the design and style categories of the evaluation. The letter was
formatted with consistent spacing and serif font. She also used appropriate diction throughout her letter,
which made her writing easier to understand than some of the other candidates.

Ms. Atunes letter scored very highly across every category it was evaluated against, earning her an
almost perfect 38 of 40 points. She should be considered an excellent candidate moving forward in the
recruiting process.

Rachel Fredman does best with organization, needs better message. In Rachel
Fredmans cover letter the message is strong overall, exceeding the standard, but could be improved in
key areas. Ms. Fredman does a good job answering all the questions asked of her by providing specific
KSAs which would increase her abilities as an analyst. She also gives examples of the times she
developed those skills, which are all supported by corresponding information in her resume. Ms. Fredman
could improve her message by addressing the needs of her audience in more detail. The introduction did
not provide a purpose for writing the cover letter, which should have been included. She also does not
provide a clear bottom line, explaining why she is the best candidate for the job.
Ms. Fredman exceeded the standard in organization for her cover letter as well. She was able to apply
fluid transitions between paragraphs and follow the known-new contract. She also organized her
paragraphs to be parallel to her introduction, expanding on topics in the same order as they were
introduced. Additionally, the topic sentences of each paragraph were descriptive enough to accurately
assume the information to follow.
The design and style of the letter were also above average. Paragraphs were written using correct block
formatting and appropriate fonts. Her design could have been improved slightly by formatting her
personal information at the top of the document the correct way. The diction in the letter was also
comprised of plain English, enabling the reader to easily understand her work.
Overall, Ms. Fredman performed above the standard for each category. While her design, message, and
style fall below that of Ms. Atunes, she certainly displayed her high level of ability, and should also be
strongly considered for the analyst position.

Ryan Cantrell performed adequately, needs improvement in organization. Ryan

Cantrells cover letter was ranked as the third best out of the five candidates. His message was good
enough to meet the standard set by Team 29. He mentions some specific KSAs, although they are not
outlined in his introduction, and describes how he developed those KSAs with adequate references to his
experience. All of these references were listed in his resume. Mr. Cantrell also properly acknowledges his
audience in his introduction and conclusion.
The organization of Mr. Cantrells letter was the most concerning category the team evaluated. The topic
sentences in this document were either written in the middle or end of each paragraph, or discluded all
together. The structure of the document should be deductive, with bottom line giving topic sentences at
the beginning of each paragraph. There are also a couple of cases where the known-new contract is
violated in the letter. One area of organization Mr. Cantrell did well in was using parallel structure. In his
introduction he states that his experience has come from two internships and his college education. The
subsequent paragraphs are written to match this order.
Mr. Cantrells design and style are both outstanding. He uses the correct margin spacing, block
formatting, and appropriate fonts. He also uses plain English and avoids the use of idioms, jargon, etc.
Ryan Cantrells cover letter was adequate in all the categories assessed. He needs to work on his
organization skills, but would still be an acceptable option to select for the analyst position.

Alexander Prochnicki and Steven Bond both need improvement in message and
organization. Mr. Prochnicki and Mr. Bond had the two lowest scoring cover letters in our evaluation.
They received the same score in every category except style, where Mr. Bond performed slightly worse.
The message of each candidates document was significantly lower in quality than the other three. Neither
candidate was able to present benefits from specific KSAs they had in relation to the job. The
introductions of both letters lacked a clear bottom line and failed to give enough information to stand
alone. Additionally, neither candidate used enough detail to sufficiently answer all the questions the
audience wanted answered.
Both of these candidates also fell below the standard for organization. Deductive structure was not used
correctly in either case. Most of the paragraphs lacked descriptive topic sentences, which could
summarize the information to follow. Mr. Prochnicki did not use parallel structure, ordering his
paragraphs differently than the order he introduced their topics. Mr. Bond was able to successfully use
parallel structure, but the topics in his introduction were very vague, and could have included many
different subsequent experiences.
Both candidates had sufficient design, using the same good formatting practices as the other candidates.
In terms of style, Mr. Bond performed more poorly than Mr. Prochnicki. He used diction that detracted
value from his message. Parts of his letter read as if he used a thesaurus multiple times per sentence to
sound more sophisticated. This backfired, as instead, it just confused the reader. Mr. Prochnickis diction
was better, although it also contained some questionable words. Both letters had several noticeable
grammatical errors as well, which also detracted from their style.
While neither of these candidates are horrible options for filling the position, neither of them are ideal.
Team 29 suggests that Alex Prochnicki and Steven Bond both be dropped from consideration for the
analyst position at this point.

Interview Assessment To Find Top Two Candidates

After selecting our top three candidates; Jullyenne Antunes, Rachel Fredman, and Ryan Cantrell, Group
29 evaluated the candidates interviews. These evaluations of the interviews were based on the following
criteria:
1. Message
2. Organization
3. Style
To begin, Group 29 looked for candidates who were able to illustrate why they would be a beneficial
asset to Towson Cornerstone Group, LLC. While supporting all of their details directly from their resume
and cover letter. Second, Group 29 evaluated the candidates based off of how well they were able to open
their interview using a creative and attention grabbing statement while also providing a memorable
closing. Third, we evaluated our candidates on whether they responded to the questions directly and
stayed focused on the line of questioning rather than being distracted. Lastly, Group 29 focused on the
candidate's ability to convey a poised, comfortable, and enthusiastic interview while maintaining eye
contact throughout the interview.

Table 3. Interview Evaluation

Jullyenne

Message

Organization

Style

Total

29

10

44

83

Antunes
Rachel
Fredman

26

10

41

77

Ryan Cantrell

28

10

43

81

Note: Criteria scores are out of 30, 10, 50 respectively

Throughout the interviews, all three candidates performed exceptionally well, responding to questions
while staying focused on the topics given. This ultimately lead to each candidate receiving perfect scores
in organization. This can be attributed to preparation and prior research of Towson Cornerstone Group,
LLC.

Jullyenne Antunes on top again. Jullyenne Antunes has ranked as the highest scoring candidate
for her interview. Ms. Antunes was exceptional at storytelling and she focused all her information based
off of her resume and cover letter. All of Ms. Antunes answers were direct as she maintained a high level
of eye contact while being enthusiastic and displaying natural body movements.
While Ms. Antunes interview was exceptional, there are aspects she can work on to improve her
interviewing skills further. Although Ms. Antunes opening was attention grabbing and clearly stated, she
would be able to enhance the experience and interaction of the interview by providing activities or
handouts in addition to her resume. This way Ms. Antunes will be able to paint a concrete picture
pertaining to her experiences rather than speculation. While Ms. Antune spoke with great enthusiasm and
was constantly smiling, she spoke at a fast pace and used constant filler-words throughout her interview.
Even with these minor mistakes, Ms. Antune is still the top candidate in regards to interviewing skills.

Ryan Cantrell a close second. Ryan Cantrell was ranked as the 2nd highest candidate for the
interviewing category. Mr. Cantrell was the only candidate who provided a handout for his interview
which in turn made his story-telling much more concrete and credible. Mr. Cantrell, also answered all
questions directly while maintaining a high sense of relaxation and natural body movements.
Mr. Cantrells interview was not far from being ranked 1st, and similarly to Ms. Antune, Mr. Cantrell has
some interviewing aspects to improve on. The most important aspect of Mr. Cantrells interview that
Group 29 recommends he spent some time on is his lack of eye contact. Mr. Cantrell fell below the
standard of a 7 by receiving a 6 in for this criteria. He can be seen in his interview constantly breaking eye
contact and not looking at the interviewer when being asked questions. This lack of eye contact could be
due to nervousness or bad habit but should be viewed as a priority for Mr. Cantrell to fix for his future
interviews. Secondly, Group 29 recommends Mr. Cantrell to emphasise more poise and enthusiasm
throughout his interview. Mr. Cantrell often spoke in a monotonous voice and failed to use voice
modulation to hit key points. Moving forward Group 29 recommends Mr. Cantrell continues to provide
handouts for his interviews, but focuses more on his enthusiasm and eye contact.

Rachel Fredman lacks poise. Ms. Fredman performed exceptionally well by responding to all
questions directly and maintaining focus throughout her interview. Ms. Fredman also far exceeded the
standard of a 7 by receiving a 10 on her evaluation of speaking with appropriate enunciation, diction, and
volume as she only used minimal filler words. Paired with her exceptional job with diction and volume,
Ms. Fredman excelled at demonstrating natural posture, gestures, and movements throughout the
interview.

Ms. Fredman was ranked the lowest of the three candidates for interviewing.
Ms. Redman often interrupted the interviewer before the given question was asked in its entirety.
Additionally, Ms. Fredman fell below the standard of a 7 by receiving a 6 when being evaluated on her
ability to maintain eye contact throughout the interview. Ms. Fredmans eagerness to jump ahead of the
questions being asked paired with her lack of eye contact has made Group 29 conclude that she needs to
work on her relaxation during interviews. Ms. Fredman will be able to accomplish being more relaxed
through performing in-depth research of the company she is interviewing for, as well as reviewing
potential interview questions. Ms. Fredman also provided concrete storytelling information that was
derived directly from her cover letter and resume.

Writing Sample Evaluation to Proceed

After evaluating the interviews of Jullyenne Antunes, Ryan Cantrell, and Rachel Fredman, Group 29 has
concluded that Rachel Fredman should no longer be a candidate for a future business analyst at Towson
Cornerstone Group, LLC. Ms. Fredman requires the most improvement of the three candidates. Following
the interview evaluation Group 29 will now evaluate the remaining two candidates Jullyenne Antunes,
and Ryan Cantrell based off of their writing samples to determine our final decision on which candidate is
ideal for Towson Cornerstone Group, LLC.

Final Two Candidates Assessed on Writing Abilities

After careful deliberations our group has finally decided to move forward with Jullyenne Antunes and
Ryan Cantrell in the final selection process. Each of these candidates submitted a writing sample which
was evaluated using criteria given in the M.O.D.S model rubric. The following table shows the scores for
each criteria as well as the overall score for each writing sample.
Table 4. Writing Sample Evaluation
Name

Message

Organization

Design

Style

Total

Ryan

40

20

28

10

98

Jullyenne

36

20

27

10

93

Note: Criteria scores are out of 40,20,30,10 respectively

Message Criteria
The standard message criteria are:
1.
Answers all assignment-specific question
2.
Provide sufficient, documented supported for all relevant statements
3.
Targets message to the audience; acknowledges and meets audience needs and
answers the questions, so what? Whats the story? And whats next?
4.
Gives an introduction that could stand-alone and gives a clear bottom line for
the document

Ryan Cantrells message exceeds the standard. We compared Ryan Cantrells message to the
message criteria, and we realized that his message exceeded the standard score. This is because right from
the beginning of Ryan Cantrells memo he is able to use a very interactive approach that has a strong
introduction with a clear bottom line. This instantly grabs his audiences attention. Also, in his
introduction he was able to acknowledge and establish a connection with his audience and also goes
straight to the point by answering the questions, so what?, whats the story?, and whats the next
step? Lastly, he provided all the necessary support for all the research he did for the comparative
analysis before reaching his conclusion. That is why Ryan has a strong message for his writing sample.

Jullyennes message met the standard. We went ahead to compare Jullyennes message to the
message criteria, we decided that Jullyenne Antune met the average standard score. This is because
Jullyenne starts her writing sample formally addressing the audience but does not explicitly target her
audience to address their needs fully or establish a connection with them. However, in her memo she is
able to answer all the assignment specific questions and provide the adequate documentation supporting
her findings. She also provided a stand-alone introduction with a clear bottom line. This is why she scored
a 36 on the message section.

Organization Criteria
The standard organization criteria are:
1. Structures the document based on rhetorical situation: deductively or
Inductively
2. Organizes document (parallel) and provides a transition at all levels:
document, section, paragraph, and sentence level

Both Ryan and Jullyennes Organization Exceeded the Standard

After comparing both candidates writing samples to the standards above we concluded that both Ryan
and Jullyennes were both able to exceed the standard. This is because both candidates were able to use
deductive structure in writing their financial analysis memo. With this deductive approach, the candidates
were able to outline their information from most important to least important. Also, each sub-section
within their writing samples started with its bottom line showing a deductive structure and it further goes
on to explain their reason for the choice which shows the inductive structure as well.

Design Criteria
The standard design criteria are:
1.
Formats list, headings and text consistently for a readable document
2.
Writes headings that can stand alone and gives clear bottom line
3.
Provides usable graphs, charts and tables that are referenced and explained
properly in the text

Ryans design exceeds the standard. After comparing Ryans design to the standards we found
that he used concise headings that could stand alone and had a clear bottom line. He also provides usable
graphs, and tables that are referenced in his writing sample and properly explained in his context.

Jullyennes design met the standard. After evaluating Julleyennes document against these
criteria, we found that even though she uses headings that are explanatory they were a bit more technical
and did not necessarily provide a clear bottom line for the text that followed it. However, she was also
able to provide usable graphs and tables that are referenced in her writing sample and properly explained
in his context.

Style Criteria
To reach this standard message style in a cover letter, the following must be met:
1.
Choosing words appropriate for the audience
2.
Free from LOCs errors

Both Ryan and Jullyennes Styles Exceeded the Standard

Both candidates exceed the standard by using appropriate words for the audience and having very few
LOCs that we saw. They used simple words and understandable sentences in their writing samples.

Moving Forward With Ryan Cantrell

Ryan Cantrell has been able to successfully distinguish himself to be the best candidate for the Junior
Analyst position through this highly competitive selection process. After a careful review of all
candidates resumes, cover letters, interviews and writing samples, we recommend that Ryan Cantrell be
hired as the new analyst for Towson Cornerstone Group LLC. We believe Mr. Cantrell to be the ideal
candidate for the position based on his related past experience as an analyst, well written cover letter,
promising interview and excellent writing sample. For further inquiry, please feel free to email us at
group29@towsoncornerstonegroup.com.

Memorandum
To: Christopher Thacker, Managing Partner
From: Kevin Thompson, Zac Plotkin, Micah Killman, Chelsea Ellis, Group 29 Recruiting Team
Date: May 12, 2016
Subject: Hire Ryan Cantrell for Junior Analyst Position

Hire Ryan Cantrell

Group 29 was assigned to collectively evaluate the candidates who applied for the entry level Junior
Analyst position at Towson Cornerstone Group, LLC. The selection process involved evaluating 100
candidates and narrowing down that number based on resumes, cover letters, interviews, and writing
samples. After much deliberation, we have come to the conclusion that Ryan Cantrell should be hired as
the new financial analyst. We have chosen Mr. Cantrell mostly due to his relevant experience in the
financial field, but also because of his additional resume content, personable interview, and excellent
writing sample. To get to this conclusion, we first selected five top candidates based on resumes:
Jullyenne Antunes, Alexander Prochnicki, Rachel Fredman, Ryan Cantrell, and Steven Bond. We
evaluated all five of their cover letters and determined which candidates were our top three. Those
three candidates interviews were then reviewed in order to determine our top two. Finally, writing
samples from each of those two candidates were evaluated. After considering the performance of each
candidate in these categories, we were able to come to the conclusion that Ryan Cantrell is the best
candidate.

Top Five Resumes Out of All Submissions

The Group 29 Recruiting Team received resumes from nearly 100 applicants for the position as a Junior
Analyst at Towson Cornerstone Group, LLC. In order to choose the best candidate for this position the
team used the following five elements as criteria to sort through the resumes:
1.

Clear objective statement

2.

Minimum GPA of 3.0

3.

Skills that highlight analytical ability

4.

Relevant experience

5.

Participation in extracurricular activities on or off campus

At first, Group 29 looked for candidates resumes with strong objective statements. To be strong the
objective statement needed to focus on the position and provide a vision of the candidates position
within Towson Cornerstone Group LLC. Second, the team eliminated candidates based on GPA. The
criteria used was that the candidate had to have a minimum of a 3.0 GPA with a preference on
candidates with a GPA of 3.5 or higher. Third, the team focused on the skills each candidate had that
highlighted analytical abilities that would make the candidate the best fit for the junior analyst
position. These abilities consisted of but are not limited to; computer proficiency, foreign languages,
programming, and software knowledge. Relevant experience through jobs and internships was the
fourth criteria analyzed. The team wanted to discover which candidates had prior experience which

prepared them for success in the position applied for. Finally, it was noted which candidates participated
in extensive amounts extracurricular activities. These activities consisted of clubs, groups and teams on
campus as well as off campus volunteering in the community and membership in other groups.
After evaluating all the candidates based on these five criteria, the team was able to narrow the list
down to the top five candidates. Below, in Table 1 the scores for the top five candidates in each criterion
are listed. Individual scores are out of 10 points with a standard score of 7 and the TOTAL column is out
of 50 points, with the standard being 35. The standard score of 7 means that the candidate provided a
satisfactory level of skill, experience, or knowledge in the category. In order to be chosen as a potential
new hire the candidate had to at least meet the score of 7 or exceed it.
Table 1. Resume Evaluation
Objective

GPA

Skills

Experience

Activities

TOTAL

Jullyenne Antunes

10

45

Alexander
Prochnicki

10

42

Rachel Fredman

41

Ryan Cantrell

10

44

Steven Bond

39

Once the evaluation of all candidates was complete, the team found the top five candidates to be
Jullyenne Antunes, Alexander Prochniki, Rachel Fredman, Ryan Cantrell, and Steven Bond. All candidates
had a GPA of 3.7 /4.0 or higher, which showed that each performed well in the classroom and now have
potential to perform highly in a professional setting. Each candidate has individual strengths and
weaknesses that are discussed further.

Jullyenne Antunes work experience is promising. To start, Jullyenne Antunes has a strong,
clear objective. It provided a vision that Ms. Antunes wanted to provide guidance in the job to increase
company proficiency. As for GPA, Ms. Antunes had a 3.75 which was far above the minimum of 3.0. Her
skills consist of knowledge of Microsoft software and being fluent in Portuguese. Having a second
language is a huge advantage over other candidates. Ms. Antunes work experience is what stood out
the most. Developing a data warehouse and presenting various presentations to management as a
Student Financial Management Intern prove experience as an analyst and a presenter. Her activity as
the Vice President of Careers and Placement shows experience in leadership and teamwork. Overall, Ms.
Antunes scored a 45 out of 50, 10 points above the standard. This score implies that she has potential to
succeed and will provide strong analytical skills to Towson Cornerstone Group, LLC.

Alexander Prochnickis activities stand out. Alexander Prochnicki is another candidate chosen
as a top five contender based off of resume evaluation. Mr. Prochnicki had a clear objective statement

that stated skills that he has, but failed to explain how these skills will help better Towson Cornerstone
Group. His GPA of 3.8 exceeded the minimum and was one of the highest evaluated, which represented
hard work and determination in college. Mr. Prochnicki is experienced with Microsoft Office and is
communicate in Spanish but not fluent. He lacks professional experience with a large firm but was able
to exemplify relevant analytical skills as a sales associate at True Value Hardware, where he increased
efficiency of orders by developing flowcharts and presenting his findings to managers. Because of this
analytical work the company increased sales by 7% that year. Finally, it was Mr. Procknickis various
activities as a group member at both Towson University and St. Josephs College that made him stand
out as a promising candidate. The list is extensive and shows a good sense of time management,
organization, and teamwork skills. Being a Leadership and Success Member with Sigma Alpha Phi shows
his leadership, and his membership in the Honors College and Tau Sigma Honor Society prove he is
among the top students in his class. Overall, Mr. Prochnicki scored a 42, 7 points above the standard. His
experience in team member and leadership roles stand out the most, along with his success in school
based off of his GPA evaluation.

Rachel Fredman has extensive skills and a high GPA. Rachel Fredman is direct with her
objective presenting personal goals, but needs to include ways in which Towson Cornerstone Group will
benefit if she is awarded with the position. Her GPA of 3.85 is highly competitive and is one of the
factors that makes her stand out. It is far above the minimum and proves determination for success in
school. Being a member of the Honors College and managing to have that high of a GPA and to be
placed on the Deans List three times exemplifies determination for success. Along with a high GPA, Ms.
Fredman has an extensive list of skills that can be applied as an analyst. The most noteworthy are
familiarity with Microsoft office, Java, HTML, and intermediate skills in Spanish and Hebrew. All of these
skills stand out because of their extent and ability. As for experience, Ms. Fredman has a long list of job
experience which proves she is experienced in many different types of work environments. The only
downside is that none of the jobs provided experience doing analytical work. Her activity as an organizer
for the guest speaker presentation at Hillel represents her experience as a leader and her independence.
Overall, Ms. Fredman scored a 41 out of 50, 6 points above the standard. Her stand out qualities were
her high GPA and the many skills she as to offer. Her lack of analytical job experience was the only
negative, but she made up for it with the amount of variability in the jobs she has had.

Ryan Cantrells consistent GPA stood out. Ryan Cantrell was another candidate chosen as a top
five prospect after the resume evaluation. Mr. Cantrell provided a strong objective that highlighted
personal skills and also provided what value he will bring to Towson Cornerstone Group if hired. He had
a GPA of 3.87 at Towson University 4.0 in his time at Anne Arundel Community College. These high
GPAs from both colleges provide evidence of his ability to adapt to different settings and still maintain
success and achieve grades higher than most peers. Mr. Cantrell has skills in MS Office and some
programming skills as well. He also has relevant work experience as an analyst for ARINC Inc. where he
recorded over 100 errors in software code, but did not have experience presenting the problems or
solutions to upper level management. Mr. Cantrell was also a member of the Maryland Society of
Accounting but did not take part in many other relevant activities. Overall, Mr. Cantrell scored a 44, 9
above the average with significant performance in the GPA standard.

Steven Bond has the highest Towson GPA among candidates. Steven Bond was the last of
the five candidates to be taken as a prospect after the resume evaluation. Mr. Bond wrote an objective
that was satisfactory, in that it provided what he hopes to achieve as a member of Towson Cornerstone
Group, but it did not mention what skills he had to offer or what benefit he will bring to the company.
His GPA is what made him stand out the most among other applicants at 3.953. This was the highest

among all top candidates chosen. Mr. Bonds skills lend himself to being familiar with different analytic
software, such as Google and Twitter, but he is not experienced with Microsoft Office. Mr. Bond has
experience in the workplace from working on analyzing social media posts when he was with IMRE. This
is analytical but not on a financial level and he did not have experience presenting his findings to
management. His activities did not have much impact on the decision to make him a top 5 candidate but
being a member of the Tau Sigma Honor Society is still relevant. Overall, Mr. Bond scored a 39 out of 50.
His GPA is essentially what made him a prospect to be chosen as a junior analyst because it represents
his determination to succeed.

Cover Letter Evaluation to Follow Resume Review

After completing the resume evaluations, Jullyenne Antunes, Alexander Prochnicki, Rachel Fredman,
Ryan Cantrell, and Steven Bond meet and exceed the resume criteria in comparison to all other
applicants. The next step in Group 29s recruiting process is to evaluate the cover letters of these top
five candidates. This evaluation will provide a closer look as to who is truly qualified for the position.

Assessment Based on Cover Letters Identifies Top Three Candidates

After selecting the top five applicants, Team 29 reviewed and evaluated each of their cover letters as
well. The evaluations of each cover letter were based on the following criteria:
1.
2.
3.
4.

Message
Organization
Design
Style

When evaluating message, the team looked for each candidates ability to accurately describe the KSAs
they held which were compatible with being a junior analyst. The team also evaluated the candidates
abilities to target their message towards the appropriate audience, and provide a clear bottom line. For
organization, cover letters were graded based on the rhetorical structure and fluidity of the document.
In terms of design, the candidates needed to format their lists and headings consistently. Finally,
performing well in style required the use of appropriate diction in relation to their audience.
At the end of this evaluation, Team 29 selected the top three candidates for the position of Junior
Financial Analyst. In order, they are Jullyenne Antunes, Rachel Fredman, and Ryan Cantrell. The
following table gives the scores of each candidates cover letter evaluations, based on the criteria stated
above. Each individual category is worth 10 points, with the total being out of 40.

Table 2. Cover Letter Evaluation

Name

Message

Organization

Design

Style

Total

Jullyenne
Antunes

10

10

38

Rachel
Fredman

34

Ryan Cantrell

10

33

Alexander
Prochnicki

30

Steven Bond

29

Jullyenne Atunes scores highest among every category.

The highest performing candidate in terms of cover letter quality was Jullyenne Atunes. The message of
the letter was strong and clear. Ms. Atunes did an excellent job identifying specific knowledge, skills, and
abilities she had which related to the position in question. She mentioned several experiences she has
had that boosted her critical thinking, communication, and teamwork skills, which were supported by
the content of her resume. The letter also did a fantastic job of addressing the audience and meeting
their needs. Finally, her introduction contained a solid bottom line, and enough information for it to
stand alone.
The organization of Ms. Atunes cover letter was also very good. She used deductive structure and
adequate transitions on multiple levels of the document. One instance where the organization of the
letter faltered, was the lack of parallel structure between her introduction and body paragraphs. She
wrote about her educational background, and past work experience, which made her an ideal candidate
for this position. She did not, however, end up mentioning her education after that. Even with this
mistake, the organization of the letter still exceeded the standard.

Ms. Atunes also performed highly in the design and style categories of the evaluation. The letter was
formatted with consistent spacing and serif font. She also used appropriate diction throughout her
letter, which made her writing easier to understand than some of the other candidates.
Ms. Atunes letter scored very highly across every category it was evaluated against, earning her an
almost perfect 38 of 40 points. She should be considered an excellent candidate moving forward in the
recruiting process.

Rachel Fredman does best with organization, needs better message.

In Rachel Fredmans cover letter the message is strong overall, exceeding the standard, but could be
improved in key areas. Ms. Fredman does a good job answering all the questions asked of her by
providing specific KSAs which would increase her abilities as an analyst. She also gives examples of the
times she developed those skills, which are all supported by corresponding information in her resume.
Ms. Fredman could improve her message by addressing the needs of her audience in more detail. The
introduction did not provide a purpose for writing the cover letter, which should have been included.
She also does not provide a clear bottom line, explaining why she is the best candidate for the job.
Ms. Fredman exceeded the standard in organization for her cover letter as well. She was able to apply
fluid transitions between paragraphs and follow the known-new contract. She also organized her
paragraphs to be parallel to her introduction, expanding on topics in the same order as they were
introduced. Additionally, the topic sentences of each paragraph were descriptive enough to accurately
assume the information to follow.
The design and style of the letter were also above average. Paragraphs were written using correct block
formatting and appropriate fonts. Her design could have been improved slightly by formatting her

personal information at the top of the document the correct way. The diction in the letter was also
comprised of plain English, enabling the reader to easily understand her work.
Overall, Ms. Fredman performed above the standard for each category. While her design, message, and
style fall below that of Ms. Atunes, she certainly displayed her high level of ability, and should also be
strongly considered for the analyst position.

Ryan Cantrell performed adequately, needs improvement in organization. Ryan

Cantrells cover letter was ranked as the third best out of the five candidates. His message was good
enough to meet the standard set by Team 29. He mentions some specific KSAs, although they are not
outlined in his introduction, and describes how he developed those KSAs with adequate references to
his experience. All of these references were listed in his resume. Mr. Cantrell also properly
acknowledges his audience in his introduction and conclusion.
The organization of Mr. Cantrells letter was the most concerning category the team evaluated. The
topic sentences in this document were either written in the middle or end of each paragraph, or
discluded all together. The structure of the document should be deductive, with bottom line giving topic
sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. There are also a couple of cases where the known-new
contract is violated in the letter. One area of organization Mr. Cantrell did well in was using parallel
structure. In his introduction he states that his experience has come from two internships and his
college education. The subsequent paragraphs are written to match this order.
Mr. Cantrells design and style are both outstanding. He uses the correct margin spacing, block
formatting, and appropriate fonts. He also uses plain English and avoids the use of idioms, jargon, etc.
Ryan Cantrells cover letter was adequate in all the categories assessed. He needs to work on his
organization skills, but would still be an acceptable option to select for the analyst position.

Alexander Prochnicki and Steven Bond both need improvement in message and
organization. Mr. Prochnicki and Mr. Bond had the two lowest scoring cover letters in our evaluation.
They received the same score in every category except style, where Mr. Bond performed slightly worse.
The message of each candidates document was significantly lower in quality than the other three.
Neither candidate was able to present benefits from specific KSAs they had in relation to the job. The
introductions of both letters lacked a clear bottom line and failed to give enough information to stand
alone. Additionally, neither candidate used enough detail to sufficiently answer all the questions the
audience wanted answered.
Both of these candidates also fell below the standard for organization. Deductive structure was not used
correctly in either case. Most of the paragraphs lacked descriptive topic sentences, which could
summarize the information to follow. Mr. Prochnicki did not use parallel structure, ordering his
paragraphs differently than the order he introduced their topics. Mr. Bond was able to successfully use
parallel structure, but the topics in his introduction were very vague, and could have included many
different subsequent experiences.
Both candidates had sufficient design, using the same good formatting practices as the other candidates.
In terms of style, Mr. Bond performed more poorly than Mr. Prochnicki. He used diction that detracted
value from his message. Parts of his letter read as if he used a thesaurus multiple times per sentence to
sound more sophisticated. This backfired, as instead, it just confused the reader. Mr. Prochnickis diction
was better, although it also contained some questionable words. Both letters had several noticeable
grammatical errors as well, which also detracted from their style.

While neither of these candidates are horrible options for filling the position, neither of them are ideal.
Team 29 suggests that Alex Prochnicki and Steven Bond both be dropped from consideration for the
analyst position at this point.

Interview Assessment to Find Top Two Candidates

After selecting our top three candidates; Jullyenne Antunes, Rachel Fredman, and Ryan Cantrell, Group
29 evaluated the candidates interviews. These evaluations of the interviews were based on the
following criteria:
1. Message
2. Organization
3. Style
To begin, Group 29 looked for candidates who were able to illustrate why they would be a beneficial
asset to Towson Cornerstone Group, LLC. While supporting all of their details directly from their resume
and cover letter. Second, Group 29 evaluated the candidates based off of how well they were able to
open their interview using a creative and attention grabbing statement while also providing a
memorable closing. Third, we evaluated our candidates on whether they responded to the questions
directly and stayed focused on the line of questioning rather than being distracted. Lastly, Group 29
focused on the candidate's ability to convey a poised, comfortable, and enthusiastic interview while
maintaining eye contact throughout the interview.
Table 3. Interview Evaluation
Message

Organization

Style

Total

Jullyenne
Antunes

29

10

44

83

Rachel

26

10

41

77

28

10

43

81

Fredman
Ryan Cantrell

Note: Criteria scores are out of 30, 10, 50 respectively

Throughout the interviews, all three candidates performed exceptionally well, responding to questions
while staying focused on the topics given. This ultimately led to each candidate receiving perfect scores
in organization. This can be attributed to preparation and prior research of Towson Cornerstone Group,
LLC.

Jullyenne Antunes on top again. Jullyenne Antunes has ranked as the highest scoring candidate
for her interview. Ms. Antunes was exceptional at storytelling and she focused all her information based
off of her resume and cover letter. All of Ms. Antunes answers were direct as she maintained a high level
of eye contact while being enthusiastic and displaying natural body movements.

While Ms. Antunes interview was exceptional, there are aspects she can work on to improve her
interviewing skills further. Although Ms. Antunes opening was attention grabbing and clearly stated,
she would be able to enhance the experience and interaction of the interview by providing activities or
handouts in addition to her resume. This way Ms. Antunes will be able to paint a concrete picture
pertaining to her experiences rather than speculation. While Ms. Antune spoke with great enthusiasm
and was constantly smiling, she spoke at a fast pace and used constant filler-words throughout her
interview. Even with these minor mistakes, Ms. Antune is still the top candidate in regards to
interviewing skills.

Ryan Cantrell a close second. Ryan Cantrell was ranked as the second highest candidate for the
interviewing category. Mr. Cantrell was the only candidate who provided a handout for his interview
which in turn made his story-telling much more concrete and credible. Mr. Cantrell, also answered all
questions directly while maintaining a high sense of relaxation and natural body movements.
Mr. Cantrells interview was not far from being ranked 1st, and similarly to Ms. Antune, Mr. Cantrell has
some interviewing aspects to improve on. The most important aspect of Mr. Cantrells interview that
Group 29 recommends he spend some time on is his lack of eye contact. Mr. Cantrell fell below the
standard of a 7 by receiving a 6 in for this criteria. He can be seen in his interview constantly breaking
eye contact and not looking at the interviewer when being asked questions. This lack of eye contact
could be due to nervousness or bad habit but should be viewed as a priority for Mr. Cantrell to fix for his
future interviews. Secondly, Group 29 recommends Mr. Cantrell to emphasise more poise and
enthusiasm throughout his interview. Mr. Cantrell often spoke in a monotonous voice and failed to use
voice variations to hit key points. Moving forward Group 29 recommends Mr. Cantrell continues to
provide handouts for his interviews, but focuses more on his enthusiasm and eye contact.

Rachel Fredman lacks poise. Ms. Fredman performed exceptionally well by responding to all
questions directly and maintaining focus throughout her interview. Ms. Fredman also far exceeded the
standard of a 7 by receiving a 10 on her evaluation of speaking with appropriate enunciation, diction,
and volume as she only used minimal filler words. Paired with her exceptional job with diction and
volume, Ms. Fredman excelled at demonstrating natural posture, gestures, and movements throughout
the interview.
Ms. Fredman was ranked the lowest of the three candidates for interviewing.
Ms. Fedman often interrupted the interviewer before the given question was asked in its entirety.
Additionally, Ms. Fredman fell below the standard of a 7 by receiving a 6 when being evaluated on her
ability to maintain eye contact throughout the interview. Ms. Fredmans eagerness to jump ahead of the
questions being asked paired with her lack of eye contact has made Group 29 conclude that she needs
to work on her relaxation during interviews. Ms. Fredman will be able to accomplish being more relaxed
through performing in-depth research of the company she is interviewing for, as well as reviewing
potential interview questions. Ms. Fredman also provided concrete storytelling information that was
derived directly from her cover letter and resume.

Writing Sample Evaluation to Proceed

After evaluating the interviews of Jullyenne Antunes, Ryan Cantrell, and Rachel Fredman, Group 29 has
concluded that Rachel Fredman should no longer be a candidate for a future business analyst at Towson
Cornerstone Group, LLC. Ms. Fredman requires the most improvement of the three candidates.
Following the interview evaluation Group 29 will now evaluate the remaining two candidates Jullyenne

Antunes, and Ryan Cantrell based off of their writing samples to determine our final decision on which
candidate is ideal for Towson Cornerstone Group, LLC.

Final Two Candidates Assessed on Writing Abilities

After careful deliberations our group has finally decided to move forward with Jullyenne Antunes and
Ryan Cantrell in the final selection process. Each of these candidates submitted a writing sample which
was evaluated using criteria given in the M.O.D.S model rubric. The following table shows the scores for
each criteria as well as the overall score for each writing sample.
Table 4. Writing Sample Evaluation
Name

Message

Organization

Design

Style

Total

Ryan

40

20

28

10

98

Jullyenne

36

20

27

10

93

Note: Criteria scores are out of 40,20,30,10 respectively

Message Criteria
The standard message criteria are:
1.
2.
3.

Answers all assignment-specific question

Provide sufficient, documented supported for all relevant statements
Targets message to the audience; acknowledges and meets audience needs and
answers the questions, so what? Whats the story? And whats next?

4.

Gives an introduction that could stand-alone and gives a clear bottom line for
the document

Ryan Cantrells message exceeds the standard. We compared Ryan Cantrells message to the
message criteria, and we realized that his message exceeded the standard score. This is because right
from the beginning of Ryan Cantrells memo he is able to use a very interactive approach that has a
strong introduction with a clear bottom line. This instantly grabs his audiences attention. Also, in his
introduction he was able to acknowledge and establish a connection with his audience and also goes
straight to the point by answering the questions, so what?, whats the story?, and whats the next
step? Lastly, he provided all the necessary support for all the research he did for the comparative
analysis before reaching his conclusion. That is why Ryan has a strong message for his writing sample.

Jullyennes message met the standard. We went ahead to compare Jullyennes message to the
message criteria, we decided that Jullyenne Antune met the average standard score. This is because
Jullyenne starts her writing sample formally addressing the audience but does not explicitly target her
audience to address their needs fully or establish a connection with them. However, in her memo she is
able to answer all the assignment specific questions and provide the adequate documentation
supporting her findings. She also provided a stand-alone introduction with a clear bottom line. This is
why she scored a 36 on the message section.

Organization Criteria
The standard organization criteria are:
1. Structures the document based on rhetorical situation: deductively or
Inductively
2.

Organizes document (parallel) and provides a transition at all levels:

document, section, paragraph, and sentence level

Both Ryan and Jullyennes Organization Exceeded the Standard

After comparing both candidates writing samples to the standards above we concluded that both Ryan
and Jullyennes were both able to exceed the standard. This is because both candidates were able to use
deductive structure in writing their financial analysis memo. With this deductive approach, the
candidates were able to outline their information from most important to least important. Also, each
sub-section within their writing samples started with its bottom line showing a deductive structure and
it further goes on to explain their reason for the choice which shows the inductive structure as well.

Design Criteria
The standard design criteria are:
1.
2.
3.

Formats list, headings and text consistently for a readable document

Writes headings that can stand alone and gives clear bottom line
Provides usable graphs, charts and tables that are referenced and explained
Properly in the text

Ryans design exceeds the standard. After comparing Ryans design to the standards we found
that he used concise headings that could stand alone and had a clear bottom line. He also provides
usable graphs, and tables that are referenced in his writing sample and properly explained in his context.

Jullyennes design met the standard. After evaluating Julleyennes document against these
criteria, we found that even though she uses headings that are explanatory they were a bit more
technical and did not necessarily provide a clear bottom line for the text that followed it. However, she
was also able to provide usable graphs and tables that are referenced in her writing sample and properly
explained in his context.

Style Criteria
To reach this standard message style in a cover letter, the following must be met:
1.
2.

Choosing words appropriate for the audience

Free from LOCs errors

Both Ryan and Jullyennes Styles Exceeded the Standard

Both candidates exceed the standard by using appropriate words for the audience and having very few
LOCs that we saw. They used simple words and understandable sentences in their writing samples.

Moving Forward With Ryan Cantrell

Ryan Cantrell has been able to successfully distinguish himself to be the best candidate for the Junior
Analyst position through this highly competitive selection process. After a careful review of all
candidates resumes, cover letters, interviews and writing samples, we recommend that Ryan Cantrell
be hired as the new analyst for Towson Cornerstone Group LLC. We believe Mr. Cantrell to be the ideal
candidate for the position based on his related past experience as an analyst, well written cover letter,
promising interview and excellent writing sample. For further inquiry, please feel free to email us at
group29@towsoncornerstonegroup.com.