The Pros and Cons of Moving Back to India

After having stayed in USA for nearly 15 years, the tech couple have returned to India along
with their two kids. They weigh the pros and cons of moving back home.
After having stayed in the US for nearly 15 years, Peeyush Ranjan and Mallika recently decided
to shift base to Bangalore, the Silicon Valley of India, along with their two kids.
Peeyush is now the head of engineering (R&D) at Google India while Mallika continues to work
with Microsoft. Read their experiences after moving back home:
Why did we return to India?
After talking to a lot of people it seems apparent that moving to India is harder than moving back
to US (when people do return). We all know the pros and ease of living in the US, things are way
more streamlined, so I guess the question is why voluntarily leave it in the first place. The reason
that has struck most to me is to try something new and gain a few more experiences in life.
Hopefully these experiences are enriching to your career, your kids outlook of this world and to
your parents/relatives relationship with you.
We had a very easy move in many ways and have settled in with few issues here. I am the one
with most problems adjusting amongst the four of us but after seeing how my kids perceive the
world now, how amazing Diwali was with my parents and how much my spouse is growing and
learning at work I have little doubt this was a good decision.
I have jotted down some pros and cons and also some things that surprised me a little.
Pros of moving to India:

Can be great career move and an opportunity to try new things at a lower cost India is
just a different ball game and even I am hyper excited about startups and the market here.

Closer to family cant stress the benefit of this enough.

Children see a different world can make them have a more global outlook and be more
charitable.

Help at home allows you to do more and have better vacations.

Certain luxuries are very affordable personal trainer daily, photography workshops,
getting a home theater setup.

Celebrate festivals like we did when we were kids.

Travel more in and around India amazing places are 2-3hr flight away Sri Lanka to
Dubai to Macau and rest of Asia.

Food I loved the food in US but am enjoying the diversity and availability of my
favorite foods here.

Cons of moving to India from US:

India is expensive if you want to live like an American. On the other hand money can get
most things done for you easily.

Lack of parks, good hiking trails and things for kids to do on weekends.

Attention to detail and reliability is missing in work and people here.

Pollution (not so bad in Bangalore), noise, traffic and general dirtiness.

Bureaucracy knowing people who know people. US is more straightforward in how we

deal with people and things.

Being nice is not the way to go you need to toughen up.

Kids can get spoilt with help and get impervious to poverty. They can also imbibe the
above mentioned cons rather easily throw rubbish out of window, etc.

Easy availability of everything is missing HDMI cable to cookie dough to latest iPhone.
You can get a lot in India these days but still it is nothing like walking into Frys or Costco
or Trader Joes in the US. Same goes for internet reliability and bandwidth so if you are
someone who thrives on being on the cutting edge of tech. it can be issue at times.

Things I thought would be cons but are not:

Relatives visiting all the time I love it now. I am not the one cleaning up the rooms or
figuring out dinner. They come, play with kids and it all makes me feel closer to them.

Weather and bugs Bangalore is actually rather pleasant weather wise and bug free.

Noisy neighbors, etc People are busy and not interested in gossiping about you.

School and education I was unsure if it would be good or the style would suit my kids
but there are plenty of schools here and we found one that works great for us. Kids are
learning a lot and loving it.

Things I did not worry about but are cons:

Long work hours and travelling this maybe the nature of the work you do but you do
end up syncing up more with US and thus your nights are pretty busy regardless of the
day schedule.

Managing domestic help I have great help but still keeping health, emotions and
working dynamics of some seven people on a daily basis is management overhead.

Lack of independence not driving, knowing the place. It is hard to be dependent and
feel lost in a city but this is something that will go away with time.

Making new friends after living in Seattle for 13 years it is hard to let go and after a
certain age it is harder to make friends.

Being nice is underrated people will take advantage of you, you will not get things
done.

The other big problem I hear about is getting sick. If kids get sick in first few months it spoils the
move for everyone. Then the whole family wants to return and that feeling engrains itself in the
family for a long time. Also, if you do plan to move make a rule that, regardless of how
miserable you may be feeling at that moment, you will never say that you want to return in front
of the kids.
There is good and there is bad but once you decide it is the attitude that matters. Keep it positive
and enjoy the good that each place has. US or India they both have pros make the best of it.

Confusion is common concerning the difference between the two main statuses held by people with long-term rights
to live and work in the U.S.: lawful permanent residence (holding a green card) and U.S. citizenship. Lets look at the
similarities and differences.
For someone immigrating to the U.S. on a permanent basis, lawful permanent residence is usually the necessary first
step. For example, people may become lawful permanent residents after being petitioned for (often called
sponsored) by a spouse or close family member or an employer; after receiving refugee status or asylum; after
winning the diversity visa lottery; or in various other categories. For more information on eligibility for a U.S. green
card, see Who Qualifies for a Green Card.
In most cases, green card holders must wait some years before applying to become U.S. citizens, through a process
called naturalization. Other ways that people can become U.S. citizens include by birth in the U.S., birth overseas to
a U.S. citizen parent, and living in the U.S. as a child when when a parent naturalizes (described in Nolo's articles on
acquiring or deriving citizenship through parents).
About the only way that someone can go straight from having no U.S. immigration status to being a U.S. citizen is by
joining the the U.S. military, as described in "U.S. Citizenship Rights for U.S. Military Personnel and Veterans."

Rights and Benefits of U.S. Lawful Permanent Residence

A lawful permanent resident receives a photo identity card that is, literally, green. The card is evidence that he or she
has the right to live and work in the U.S. on a permanent basis; to travel and return; and to petition for certain close
family members to also receive green cards.
However, green card holders cannot do everything that U.S. citizens can. They cannot vote in U.S. elections. They
cannot remain outside the U.S. for unlimited amounts of time or make their home elsewhere doing so will result in
abandonment of their residency and refusal of their request to reenter the United States. They can lose their
residency rights by failing to advise U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) of changes in their address,
committing crimes or acts of espionage or terrorism, and more.
Also, green card holders cant always get the same assistance and benefits from the government that U.S. citizens
can. Many federal programs impose a five-year waiting period before green card holders can start receiving benefits.
(See What Public Benefits Can a Green Card Holder Receive?)
For these reasons, it is wise for permanent residents to apply for U.S. citizenship as soon as possible. For information
on doing that, see Who Can Apply for U.S. Citizenship.

Rights and Benefits of U.S. Citizenship

U.S. citizenship is the highest status someone can attain under U.S. immigration law. It means a permanent right to
live in the United States. Citizens are not subject to the grounds of deportability that affect green card holders. The
only way someone can take a former immigrants citizenship status away is if that person committed fraud in
obtaining it in the first place.
U.S. citizens can vote, and can petition for a longer list of foreign national family members to join them in the U.S.
than permanent residents can for example, unlike green card holders, they can petition for their parents (as
immediate relatives), their married children, and their brothers and sisters (in the fourth preference category its a
long wait).

I have been living abroad for almost half of my 24 years of existence. Being an NRI for a
substantial amount of time, I know the kind of lifestyle's that most of them lead. Well, to start
with, they are just a bunch of normal people who live abroad (not necessarily developed in the
holistic sense).They can be split broadly into two distinct categories: The Never Return to India
and The Now Return to India.
The Never Return is a unique breed of people. Their uniqueness lies in the fact that they think
they are the most fortunate people in this world. For them India is a third world country which is
confined to those once-in-a-few-years visits for the sake of completing the formality of seeing
their loved ones. For them India is a chaotic, unhygienic and polluted place where they can't live
for a second without Bisleri water and where the sound of honking is noise pollution. Having
said this, they don't take the Indianness out of them because it will make them look out of sync
with their identity with their colonial masters once they go back to their holy land. As
such, anything to do with Indian culture needs to be imbibed oops culture which suits their
convenience, not culture in its purest form. Essentially, for this bunch of people being Indian is
an opportunistic tool to sustain and increase their economic and social status in the land of the
colonial masters.
Now, let's come to the Now Return category. This constitutes a considerable proportion of
people. They are actually in love with their homeland so much that they want to come back as

soon as possible (or that's what they say!!) They enrol their kids in Indian international schools
so that they are in line with the Indian schooling system. They make sure that the kids learn
Carnatic music, dance, cricket, etc. For this bunch of guys, the Indianness factor imbibed within
their families is not a formality but something that they yearn for immensely.
Stuck in the vicious cycle of money and social pressures, they are not able to break away from
the social barriers to return back home. As such, they look for ways to imbibe these qualities
within their kin and tell people back home that their kids are more culturally inclined than any
Indian kid could be. While in some cases this might be true, in most of the cases these are
statements to satisfy the self from the guilt of not being able to return to their roots.
So what is the big deal? The big deal is that despite their vast difference in approach to living
they share some common, pertinent issues.
One among the many issues is excessive academic expectations confronting the children
courtesy their NRI parents. Whether it is getting into Harvard or being the top in the school, there
is no dearth of obsessive competition. The poor second generation kid is subject to immense
pressure and his/her talents is more or less confined to the narrow path of engineering and not
other streams of study. Not only does this reduce the appetite for the children, it makes their
options and mindset for the future narrow. It is more of the NRI parent imposing what they
want to be rather than what the children want to be. The main issue is the massive expectation
they have from their children and therein lies the crux of the next issue confronting the NRIs.
The default thinking in most of the parents' mindset is that since they have invested immensely
in inculcating the Indianness in them, the children would in turn be the goody goody souls in
the decisions they make in their adult life. While it is fair enough to argue that the Indianness
inculcated would make the children more in sync with the Indian lifestyle, the fact of the matter
is they are growing up in a completely different country. In today's world, the social thinking of
the younger generation is made up by the attitudes of their friends around them and not by the
default tutorial classes of Indian culture. Of course, there are exceptions but they are just
exceptions. For example, there is no point in the NRI parent living in a country for 20 years and
then expecting the children to grow up the way they want and marry the person whom they
think is good enough. Expectations such as marital affairs are a crucial part of the illusion that is
confronting the NRIs. It is very crucial that they come to terms with the reality and set their
priorities straight in life.
One needs to set their priorities and take a call on such issues. If they feel their culture and their
way of thinking needs to be followed, then they should pack off and head back home. In an era
of blossoming growth back home in India, heading back home is an economically practical
solution and if one throws away the obsession with the foreign social status, I do not see any
hindrance in coming back. You cannot expect to have the cake and the cherry, can you? If one is
interested in staying abroad, then one should be prepared and be ready for the consequences
(irrespective of its merit) with regards to the choice made by their children. While it is a duty for

the children to keep the family in confidence on such issues, the reality of life is that a majority
of the younger generation rarely looks beyond the self while taking such decisions.
Essentially, the crux of the issue confronting all NRIs is the weight of expectation one thrusts on
the younger generation and the illusion with which they subject themselves oblivious of the
practical consequences of the choices that they have made in their lives.
Whether one is in the Never Return or Now Return category, the NRIs need to confront issues
head on rather than live in a illusion of their own!
(The writer is a Graduate Student, Engineering Management, University of Southern California,
Los Angeles, U.S. His email id is: rams7777@msn.com)
Let me start this article with a disclaimer. If you're blissfully happy with your life as an NRI, don't continue
reading - you will not only be wasting your time, you will become angry and ask everyone to quit complaining
about life abroad.

As someone who returned to India after 11 years in the West, I'm often asked this question: "How did you
decide to take the plunge?"

We all know how difficult this question is - many of us live with the thought of returning home every single day.
Nonetheless, when it comes to actually doing it, the anxiety truly hits us. It was worse for me because I was one
of those who went abroad for higher studies and had never worked in India. So the fear of giving it all up and
diving into the deep unknown was quite terrifying.

So coming back to the question - how did I decide? In the end, it was quite easy. As NRIs, one thing we learn
very quickly is that abroad, life is not all rosy. There are problems there too - it's not like we're given large pots
of gold and a multi-million dollar bank balance the instant we land on foreign shores. We've got to work very
hard and it's not only that - we've got to adjust to foreign cultures and so on.

Initially of course, it's all new to us and we're learning new things at a terrific pace. That keeps us happy for a
while. It was true for me - I loved meeting people from different countries, I loved making new friends, I loved
learning how to think in new ways, I loved the fact that my horizons broadened, I loved that I looked at India in a
different way, I loved driving on the great roads and so on.

Then, the learning levels off, and life begins to get mundane. We begin to live with traffic problems (not just
admire the great roads), housing problems (not just admire the neat houses), too-much-housework problems
(not just admire the great equipment), health-insurance problems (not just admire the great medical
technology), mowing-the-lawn every weekend problems (not just admire the wonderful trim lawns) and finally,
just-too-mechanical-living problems. And on top of this, there are the bigger issues: do I still want to be here
when I'm 60? Will I end up totally alone in my old age? Will I recognize my kids and their culture? And so on.

India of course, has its own set of problems. I don't need to go into them in detail, because you know what
those problems are - bad roads, intermittent power supply, corruption and so on. But let me talk about one
problem in particular that we don't like talking about: having to deal with close and extended family all over
again, and a past that we gladly left behind and don't want to return to. Yes, these are real issues. This is one
thing that stops some of us from returning. And yet..there's an emptiness in our soul that we can't seem to get
rid of.

So what's our response to these issues? Typically, we get stuck with analysis paralysis. We can't really decide
to go back home, and we aren't fully happy in our host nation. And then what happens is this: we succumb to
the mundane-ness of everyday living, because it's easier to deal with having to get your clothes washed right
now, rather than pondering big moves to a strange country. We get caught up in the trap of immersing
ourselves in the busy-ness of daily life, excusing ourselves with the thought, "After all, I need to go to work
tomorrow. I have an important presentation on Tuesday. I'll worry about returning to India next weekend." And
before we know it, years pass and it gets more and more difficult to think about returning.

So how did I do it? After years of being frozen with indecision, I realized one day I had two very simple choices:
Either I live with the problems abroad, or I live with the problems in India. Both options have problems. None is
idyllic. Once I recognized that heaven wasn't to be found in the West, it became easier to contemplate living a
heaven-less but more fulfilling life in India. After that, things moved swiftly, and now here I am, back in India
with no thought of returning.

Part of the problem that I've noticed with us NRIs is that although we complain incessantly about life abroad, we
completely set aside those problems when making a comparison with India. We don't compare apples with
apples. We talk about how bad the roads are in India vs say, the US, and ignore the alienation we feel. No
wonder it becomes difficult to decide. We see the madness of India, but despite our restlessness, we don't see
the madness of our life in the US. And even if we do see both sets of problems, we compare not the problems,
but the conveniences of daily life. And as we know, conveniences, though convenient, aren't a sure ticket to
happiness.

So to anyone who's going through this agony, I can only offer you this advice: both options have problems.
Decide this: which set of problems would you rather live with? And once you make your decision, make your
peace with whichever set of problems you choose.

NRIs and the duplicity of life

In India, NRIs non resident Indians, are always looked up to, well., most of the time! NRIs are often envied for their prosperity and the riches. NRIs
hold a special status in all walks of Indian life. They are well recognized for their deep pockets. There is no debate that most of the NRIs are considered
very successful among Indian society, regardless how they make their living in the foreign land.

And how are the NRIs and Indians perceived in the foreign land? What is their social status in the county they live in? Well, exactly the opposite in most
cases. There are no stories of special stature to write home about. For example, in the American society, you can find lots of successful NRIs, lots of middle
class Indians who are well settled, but there is nothing to envy about their social standings, at least not in the adopted country. They are just a part of
another minority group.
For example, consider the cases of successful NRIs who have professionally established themselves in the foreign countries in Europe or America or any
other developed country. There are lots of Indian doctors and engineers, and they are good ones too. They make a good living, they enjoy middle class or
upper middle class life in most cases; many have big houses and all the other amenities. However, there is no special stature for this successful group of
people. If anything, it is quite the opposite the locals consider them outsiders. These well behaved and well educated Indians are sometimes, (and more
often lately due to rising unemployment,) considered the cause of higher unemployment, and often blamed for stealing jobs form the locals. We are talking
about doctors and engineers. The Situation is even worse for those who make their living by driving taxies or by doing other average jobs.
So what is the point? The point is that NRIs often have a complete role reversal in their adopted countries, compared to their perceived status back home in
India. Unlike everyone looking up to them in India, they are often looked down in the land abroad.

If you think about it, the NRIs, especially the first generation NRIs, sacrifice a lot to succeed in the foreign country, including their pride, social stature and
their social identity. They have to re-adjust to the role of a minority, they often have to adapt to the rules and customs of the new land and that is just the
beginning. The hurdles and challenges that a new comer faces are way too many. Over time, the NRIs often lose their language; their own way of life is
compromised and they end up adapting to the foreign life-style. The whole adaptation happens so slowly over the years, that NRIs dont even realize the
slow self-change in many cases, the slow changes over the decades of life abroad.

Life is a funny thing. It always looks different when you look back at the past, versus looking at the present. Perhaps going abroad was the right decision at
that time. Perhaps, many of us did not have any better choice when we first left the homeland, long time ago. Or perhaps, most of us never thought that we
were leaving our country for good. When we first start the journey, most of us may have never realized that we are permanently leaving behind so much.
When we first go abroad, we all make a self-promise to return home, and yet rarely keep the promise.

So, there is not a whole lot to envy about NRIs. For some monetary gains, for a dream of prosperity and a perceived better life, most of the NRIs have lost a
lot, many have sacrificed too much. The sad part most of us dont even realize it, dont even think about it. All along, over the years as times goes on,
something called life happens a new life with new friends, and in the new society in the new land.

R2I Surprises await the returning NRIs

Everyone living abroad talks about returning to India, going back to their homeland. They even have a term coined for it: r2i return-to-India. Sooner or
later, every Indian settled overseas considers returning home, or at least thinks about it. Regardless how much you plan and how much you look forward to
it, the real life experience always brings its own surprises the good and the bad ones.
Most of the NRIs romanticize about the life in India. However, those returning to India have their own complaints about life back home:
Traffic: After living in America or Europe for a long time, we get used to the smooth flow of traffic and the traffic rules. We know, it is not the same in
India. There are just way too many cars and bikes on the road, compared to what we are used to abroad. And remember, the more aggressive drivers make
their own traffic rules, most of the time.
Not the same old neighborhood: I wrote a full article on this recently, the home we left behind many years ago is not the same, neither is the
neighborhood. The old friends have moved on with their lives. The shady tree next to the pond is gone, so is the pond. It is not the same India you left
behind decades ago. Time changes everything. The past is long gone even in India!
Kids hate it: many parents return to India to raise their kids in Indian culture speaking Indian language. However, the whole experience is very hard on
kids. The language, the new place, the new surroundings, the power cuts, the crowdthe whole thing overwhelms them. They like India for vacationing,
but forget the permanent living part.
Faded bonds of Family and friends: Many of us return home to be with family and old friends. However, once you go back, it does not feel like the good
old days. Everybody is on a different wavelength; they have their own lives to live.
Customer service lacks: There is no reliable customer service. It is getting better slowly and the private businesses seem to understand the importance of
it. However, the bureaucracy and politics run the government offices.
Too crowded: The shops, the marketplace, the streets, the doctors officeevery place is way too crowded. Get used to waiting for a long time, even if
you have an appointment.
Reverse culture shock: R2I brings the reverse adaptation getting used to the new Indian way of life. The language, the social interaction, the pace of
daily lifeit is time to recalibrate to the new standards of life. You dont realize how much you have changed until you come back.
The system is broke: If you need a drivers license, need to get passport or have any other need that requires going to a government office, get used to the
waits, delays and very poor customer service. Once you tell them, that you are an NRI, they want to help you, but for their own monetary gains.
Everybody is after your money: You will make lots of local friends, but many of them like you just for your money. I guess that is same everywhere, but
more so In India.
Everybody is in your business: Forget the concept of personal privacy; everybody wants to know everything about you. Anything that you do is a public
affair.
Too laid back: Now, many may consider this a good thing and it probably is, the life in general is very laid back. Nobody is in a hurry. Even your driver
does not see anything wrong with taking a break at his own convenience or showing up late.
Pedestrian and bikers have least right of way: In America, we pay extra attention to the bikers and pedestrians on the road. It is quite the opposite in
India. The ones with the bigger vehicles rule the roadside.
Medical and doctors: Medical care, the emergency care and the response to critical medical needs is nowhere close to what we have in Western courtiers.
There are lots of good doctors but the system lacks efficiency and order.
General Hygiene: It is hard to ignore the hygiene issues. People ignoring basic cleanliness, the flies hovering over everythingit is everywhere the
restaurants, the houses, the parties, the bazaars. But that is no surprise, you might say, it was always there. It must be that we tend to forget! :
There are lots of good things about being back in India, being back at home. There are many pleasant surprises for returning NRIs, but some unpleasant
ones too.