34 Hillary DePiano TARTAGLIA. Well, come up with something. (TRUFFALDINO shrugs to the SERVANTS who walk off in con- fusion.) I've got to have them. I’ve got to get to those wonderful, beautiful, succulent, juicy three oranges. It is bad enough that my father won't Jet me have my own armor and I have to make it myself, now I have to put up with this idiocy! As soon as I get those shoes, I will embark ‘on my quest for those three tantalizing oranges and you, good sir, will be my squire. TRUFFALDINO. Now wait just a minute! I didn’t mind coming here to save you from the first curse, but I am the great Truffaldino, a professional clown, not your servant. TARTAGLIA. (Considers this for a moment.) True. But you must under- stand that I don’t care. I must find those oranges and make them mine! (SERVANT enters with items clearly from the kitchen.) What took you so long? (He begins to take items and tries to figure out how to wear them. Eventually he decides on the following. His helmet is a colander, shoulder pads are small pots, his legs have cheese graters strapped on to them and the breast plate is a silver dinner platter, etc.) TRUEFALDINO. (To NARRATOR) Is he allowed to pull this? NARRATOR. Remember our arrangement. TARTAGLIA. (Requiring some help:) Squire? TRUFFALDINO. (With a sigh of exasperation, going to help him:) Com- ing, Your Majesty. (After some comedy with dressing for battle:) Your highness, something has been troubling me. We still have no idea where these oranges are. What's with the sudden rush? We don't even know where we'd be questing to. Wouldn't it be better to stay at the castle and send scouts... TARTAGLIA. Aha, my good squire, you underestimate the power of my love and resolve. I can feel the oranges calling to me like a string tugging at my heart. They are two thousand miles away, pris- oners in the castle of the witch, Creonta. (Confidentially:) I overheard. the narrator talking during intermission. (The NARRATOR smacks his forehead.) TRUFFALDINO. (To NARRATOR;) Thanks a lot, boss. TARTAGLIA. So we are now ready to begin our quest. Ready, that is, as soon as I get my damn shoes!