Wedding homily 1

One of my memories of growing up was the trip to my grandmothers house. One of the memories I
will always treasure is the platter of oatmeal cookies which she always had available. I asked
grandma for the recipe. Well, she said, you take about a cup of oatmeal and a couple tablespoons
of this, and a pinch of that.
There was no recipe, no precise measurements. She had years of experience and knew what mix
was necessary to produce delicious cookies, batch after batch. A recipe for marriage is much like the
one my grandmother had for oatmeal cookies. The success or failure depends entirely on what you
put into it. Leave an ingredient or use too little of it, and its just not right.
In developing a recipe for marriage, lets start with the mixing bowl of Faith. Its a proven fact
leave God out of your marriage and youre headed for trouble.
The first ingredient that goes into the mixing bowl is the flour of Commitment. In baking,
nothing more basic than flour, and in marriage nothing is more fundamental than commitment. Sadly,
lacking in many marriages is the kind of commitment that was pledged at a marriage altar: til death
do us part! Commitment means, God brought us together, and come hell or high water, someway,
somehow were going to get through this problem!
To the flour of commitment add the oil of Communication. Effective communication is the mutual
exchange of ideas, thoughts, attitudes,, information and feelings. Its prerequisite to real love, and
without it your love withers and dies.
Now add the ingredient of Love. In tennis love means nothing, but in marriage it means everything.
No wonder Paul wrote, Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church, (Eph. 5:25).
Another ingredient that allows what you put in the oven to come out successfully is baking
powder. Leave it out of oatmeal cookies, and you have tough, flat little wafers. Marriage, in the other
hand, needs the baking powder of Forgiveness. Leave this out and the marriage is apt to collapse in
times of stress.
Now, add the eggs of Meeting each others needs. In baking, eggs bind the ingredients together. In
marriage, meeting each others needs keeps temptation away, and add Joy to a relationship.
Another couple of ingredients need to go into the mixing bowl a sprinkling of Humor and more
than a dash of Understanding. In cooking, we use salt, vanilla, cinnamon, and other spices to keep
the food from tasting bland. We also need some seasoning in marriage the kind that enables us to
laugh at ourselves, our failures, and our foibles. And beyond even that, the graciousness that allows
your mate the same latitude for human failure that you give yourself.
A final thought: None of these ingredients taste very good separately but mix them together with
oatmeal, apply heat, and you have something very, very good. Grandmas recipe works for marriage
as it did for oatmeal cookies.

School of love and forgiveness

It is the wish of young people in school and college to complete school and get a job. But there is a
sense in which we are in school for the rest of our lives because we never stop learning. I have heard
it said that when you marry it is like going back to school again because one learns to love and
forgive in marriage.
People want to go back to this second school because as our first reading states, it is not good that
man should be alone. (Gen 2:18) As the boys admire the girls and the girls admire the boys they
remind us of the words from elsewhere in the book of Genesis, God saw all that he had made and
indeed it was very good. (Gen 1) When the girls look at the boys they say everything God has made
is very good and when the boys look at the girls they say everything God has made is very good, and
so after some time they get married to enjoy this goodness more fully.
A wedding lasts only one day, but marriage for the rest of life. When a couple gets married, it has
been said both go back to school again, the school of marriage. They begin to learn again, to learn to
love each other in a deeper way. They join themselves to each other to become one, as our first
reading stated (Gen 2:24), without losing their individuality. Becoming one doesnt happen overnight.
It is something that is learned and that the couple becomes better at as they share their married life
together. Becoming one means loving each other, sharing their lives with each other, and taking each
other into consideration always. Becoming one means getting rid of all selfishness because there is
no room for selfishness in marriage. If selfishness is not rooted out or creeps in later on, it is sure to
cause problems. If God blesses the marriage with children, then the children are taken into
consideration in all that the couple do. So for these many reasons I have heard it said that marriage is
a school of love.
When two people get married they bring with them to their marriage normal human weaknesses and
discover weaknesses in the other which previously they did not know. This is an opportunity to love
the other, heal the other, and forgive the other. There are times when like at the wedding at Cana it
will seem as if the wine really has run out, times when they forgive each other and make a fresh start.
For that reason I have also heard marriage described as a school of forgiveness.
What I have spoken about up to now the human aspect of marriage would be true of any couple who
live together. But marriage in the Catholic Church is much more beautiful. It is not just being partners,
not just fulfilling the natural human desire to share ones life with another, because marriage in the
Catholic Church is also a sacrament. Like all the sacraments, marriage unites the couple with Jesus,
and brings them Gods blessing. It is not just husband and wife united to each other in marriage; it is
husband and wife united to each other with Jesus in marriage.
All sacraments have lasting value, and the sacrament of marriage has lasting value. The couples
promise to each other is until death, to be faithful to each other always, and that is why Jesus rules
out divorce in todays Gospel (Mark 10:2-16). He said it was not in Gods plan, it was introduced by
humans because they lowered their vision of marriage and drifted away from Gods plan for marriage.
The couples fidelity to each other symbolizes and reflects the faithfulness of God to us his people,
the faithfulness of Christ to the Church. God is always faithful to us his people, Christ is always
faithful to the Church and the couples promise to be always faithful to each other until death
symbolizes and reflects the love of God for his people and the love of Christ for his Church. This is
another way in which we see marriage in the Catholic Church is a sacrament.
The question is asked, Is there anything more beautiful in life than a boy and a girl clasping clean
hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage? Can there be any thing more beautiful than young
love? And the answer is given. Yes there is a more beautiful thing. It is an old man and an old

woman finishing their lifes journey together on that path. Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped;
their faces are wrinkled but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired, but still strong
with love and devotion for one another. Yes there is a more beautiful thing than young love. Old love.
(Anonymous)