Myreflectionisformattedasafourpartshortstory,answeringtoamixtureoffouroftheprompt

questionsin881words(sorry)

I. ADisastrousExperience
Icantturnsurvivalmodeoff.

ForalotofpeopleIthinkdisastershappensuddenlyandunexpectedlybut,forme,my
disasterhasalwaysbeengradualandanticipated.And,foralackofabetterphrase,Im
broke,hasalwaysbeentheeasiestwaytodescribemydisposition.Itsalwaysbeenthisway
and,IthoughtincollegeIdfindmorepeopletorelateoverbrokennesswithsincebeinga
brokecollegekidisliterallyatrope.Instead,Ivefoundtheopposite.Inmycitizenshipclasswe
allparticipatedinagrouppovertysimulationonline,facilitatedbymyteacher.Ididnttellanyone
this,butIsawthelinktoitpostedonMoodlethedaybeforeandtrieditformyself.Inthe
simulationyoureallottedasmallamountofmoneyandeachround(orday)comeswitha
financialobstacleinwhichyourefacedwithmultipledecisions.Thegoalistolastamonth
withoutgoingbroke.Lastingthemonthwasntanissueforme,butsubjectingmyselftothe
trepidationofmakingthosetoughdecisions(thatIvealreadymadeinreallife)almostbrought
metotears.Inclass,however,Ikeptmycoolbysittinginsilenceinthebackrow.Isatnextto
thisothergirlwho,likemyself,wasmutteringthecorrectchoicesunderherbreathasothersin
theclasswereshoutingoutnaive,incautiousanswers.Iturnedtoherandsaid,theyreallyjust
dontunderstandhowmuchhastobesacrificedinordertosurviveShesolemnlynoddedin
agreement.Theclassfailedthesimulation.

II.

TheTransition

Communitycollegeisarepressedmemoryatthispoint.


Asatransferstudent,Ifeltacademicallypreparedduringthetransitionintoauniversity
settingandasatransferstudent,Ifeltnoemotionalpreparedness.Iwasfortunateenoughtobe
acceptedintoanalreadyestablishedfriendgroupuponmyarrivaltoUNCC,butsometimesthey
recallmemoriesfromfreshmanyearasifIwerepartofthem.Andeverytimeithappens,Iforget
thatIactuallywasntthereforthemeither.

III.

SocialIssues

Whymycampusinvolvementreallydidntstartuntilmysecondsemester.

Itypicallydontmakethingsallaboutme,butittookafewmonthsofintrospectionand
overcomingintroversionbeforeIwasreadytoexploreCharlotteforwhatitreallyis.BackwhenI
waslivingathomeinRaleigh,aclosefriendhadrecentlyexposedmetotheworldofactivism,
protests,organizing,andwhatfightingforsocialjusticelookslikeontheground.Iwasreadyto
bringthatwithmetoUNCCbutIdidnthavehimwithmeandIdidntknowwheretofind
organizersandIdesperatelywantedtoavoidmeetingnewpeople.Throughoutmyfirst
semesterhere,IstillfeltlikeIhadonefootinRaleighandtheotherinCharlotte.Iwasntfully
present.ItgotworseinSeptemberwhenIreceivednewsthatthisguyIwenttohighschoolwith
wasshotbyRaleighPD.IwasinlimboIwasunabletomakechangehereandIwasunableto
makechangethere.Thisinternalconflictensueduntilnearlytheendoftheyearthatis,until
midNovember.IattendedanenrichmenteventforUHPinUptowncalledGoodWhitePeople:
TheProblemwithMiddleClassWhiteAntiRacism,itwasagreatseminar,butthatwasntthe
thingthatchangedthecourseofmyfuture.DuringthereceptionfollowingtheseminarIwas

approachedbythispersonwhothoughtIwassomeoneelseandstartedtellingmeallthese
thingswhensuddenlytheystoppedandsaid,wait,yourenotsoandso,towhichIwas
responded,noImthewrongperson,sorry!Anyway,Isawtheirnametagbeforetheyturned
aroundtofindwhomeveritwastheywerelookingfor,andIlateraddedthemonFacebook
becausewehadmutualfriendsandsimilarposts.This.ThiswasmygatewaytoCharlotte
activism.ThroughtheirFacebookprofileIfoundevenmorepeoplewithsimilarinterestsand
foundamultitudeofeventstoattendandwaystofinallygetpluggedintoCharlotte.Finally.

IV.

Waves

MostofwhatIlearnedthisyearhadnothingtodowithacademics.

Iloveschool.Ivealwaysbeenahugeproponentoflearning,anditsalwayscomewith
relativeeasetome.Butonelessonthatcontinuestorearitsuglyheadinmylifeisthat
universityandcollegeinstitutionsareforprofit.Iamsoincrediblyprivilegedandthankfulformy
timeatUNCCbutsometimesImafraidthatthemoneyIowewillovercomemelikeagiantwave
andsuddenlythetidewillhavepulledmeoutofschoolandintoajobIloathe,surroundedand
drowningwithpeopleIdontevenlike.Inkeepingwiththismetaphor,Ivebeenclingingtothe
peopleofUHPandthepeopleofUNCCandtheopportunitiesherelikebuoysandfloaties.Ido
thisbecauseIreallywanttoconquermywavesoneday,andItrulybelievethattheyllhelpme
acheivethis.