Life is More Than Just Dealing With Stress and Anxiety – A

Whole Lot More

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

Stress, anxiety, relaxation and fulfillment. All of these everyday

responses are inevitably connected as we walk successfully through
our lives and careers. In this challenging economy, we could
probably highlight four or five top-of-mind examples of how we
have adapted to the stress/anxiety of our lives.

But how about the times we have actually taken time to relax, and be
happy and fulfilled with our simple and complex life moments?
Probably not as easy to list…

Whether it is effectively overcoming a challenging work situation,

trying to find your next great work adventure, or just having a
meaningful conversation with a 15-year-old drama queen daughter
like mine. Stuff always seems to get in the way of those soothing
words like “relax,” or “fulfilled.”

However you define it, life has been full of storms most of us have
had to successfully navigate through lately. I just learned, for
example, that I need a cane at age 50 to continue to successfully
adapting to a lifelong physical disability known as Cerebral Palsy.

As I have finally done, please take time to relax, be happy and

realize the special person that you are. No matter what stresses you
have all of us need to find those quiet moments to keep healthy.
Even though I have been very humbly called the doctor of resiliency
worldwide, I sometimes struggle finding those tranquil corners of my
life.
One of the stress management avenues that has helped re-engage
those dusty relaxation nooks are suggested stress program by my
local medical plan provides to all of its clients. I have particularly
found the following useful in “un-stressing” myself to successfully
detour into a relaxation lane where I can recharge my battery for the
typical stresses of life. I hope they provide you with the same smooth
ride and resiliency:

Relaxation Techniques
An important lesson to learn is that the stress response happens
naturally — we don’t consciously turn it on or off. And that’s a good
thing, because it helps us get things done.

But if we are always experiencing the stress response, we wear

down. Strive instead for balance — that’s the key to feeling your
best.

The Relaxation Response

We, of course, respond to stress everyday. The good thing is, we can
teach our bodies to do the opposite. Just think of it as the symptoms
of stress response reversed.

• Your breathing, heart rate and blood pressure relax.

• The production of stress-related hormones (adrenaline and
cortisol)
is inhibited.
• Endorphins (your body’s “feel good” hormones) increase
Sounds good, doesn’t it? Relaxation takes many forms — from
formal techniques (e.g., meditation, yoga, tai chi) to personal things
like physical activity, reading, listening to music, camping, and
getting together with a friend.

Here are a few easy steps to try as you learn to relax.

Techniques and Exercises to Help you De-Stress

Visualization:
This is a good relaxation method for when you’re alone — at your
desk, early in the morning or right before falling asleep at night.

To begin this technique, think back to a time when you were in a

favorite place doing something you really enjoy. Put yourself in
that place — try to be there as fully as you can. Close you eyes and
think:
- Where is that place?
- What is it like?
- What do you see? Hear? Smell?
- How do you feel physically? Emotionally?

When you are ready, count backward from 10 to 1 and open your
eyes.

Notice how your body feels… does it feel good?

Most people find that it does. Here’s why: Your mind doesn’t
necessarily know the difference between the actual experience and
your memory of it — so your body responds in the same way.
The Power of Suggestion:

Try this: For the next 30 seconds, don’t think of an elephant. Think
of anything else, but don’t think about an elephant.

Did it work? Don’t feel bad. That’s the power of suggestion at

work. When you see the word elephant, it automatically calls to
mind some images that you associate with elephants. You can’t
help it.

In the previous exercise, you called to mind your favorite place and
doing something you enjoy. You followed a suggestion. You can
use this to help you take a shortcut to relaxing. Here’s how:

• Repeat the visualization exercise above.

•
• When you feel good effects, give yourself a key word or
phrase — something appropriate to you and the situation.
Repeat that phrase throughout the exercise.
•
• When you’d like to visualize that place again, start by
repeating that key word or phrase.

Deep Breathing:

Breathing is fundamental to all forms of relaxation — therefore it is

one of your most powerful tools.

Changing how you breathe can help you relax, and increase your
energy and regulate your emotional state
 • Holding your breath, or shallow breathing (mostly from
your chest), triggers the stress response.
•
• Breathing from your diaphragm (diaphragmatic or
abdominal breathing) turns off the stress response and engages
the relaxation response.
•
That’s why deep breathing is an effective tool all by itself. You can
also pair it with other techniques to help you relax ever further.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation:

Each day, you usually accumulate stress-related muscle tension.

This tension can cause:

– Headaches
– Backaches
– Neck and Shoulder Pain
– Illnesses

By paying attention to your body and posture, you can tell whether
you have extra tension in your body. Ask yourself:

– Are your shoulders raised?

– Is your jaw clenched?
– Are you gripping the steering wheel of your car with all
your might?
– Are your abdominal muscles tight?

To find out, this method can help you pinpoint areas of stress in
your body. Here’s how:
Pinpoint stress ― here’s how:
• Sit in a comfortable upright position with your back

straight
but not rigid.
• Close your eyes and practice deep breathing.

• Do a conscious “inventory” of your body, paying special

attention to any areas of pain, discomfort

or tension.
• Direct your attention to a specific area and consciously

breathe “into” that area. When you inhale,

notice the uncomfortable sensation. On the exhale, consciously
breathe out your tension.

You’re carrying extra tension around, progressive muscle

elaxation may be the perfect technique to try. With this easy
echnique, you:

• Contract (squeeze) a muscle.

• Relax the muscle.
• Move (progress) from one muscle group to the next.

Progressive muscle relaxation ― here’s how:

• Lie down in a comfortable position. Keep your back straight

nd don’t cross your arms and legs. Close your eyes.

• Practice deep breathing to start.

• Begin at the top of your body by clenching all of your face

and
neck muscles. Squeeze your forehead, eyes, lips and neck muscles for
few seconds, then completely release as you exhale.
• Move down your body by clenching your shoulder and arm

muscles for a few seconds, then completely release as you exhale.

• Continue doing the same as you move down into each

muscle group. Remember to practice your deep breathing as you

go.
• When finished contracting each muscle group, lie still for a

few minutes and just enjoy the feeling of relaxation.

• When you are ready, count backward from 10 to 1 (while
ontinuing to deep breathe) and open your eyes. Notice how your
body feels.

Progressive muscle relaxation requires practice to master, but it’s also

one of the most effective relaxation techniques.

Meditation:

Meditation has been around for hundreds of years, developed as a

form of self-investigation and acceptance.

In recent years, scientific studies have reinforced and proven the

benefits of meditation. With it, you can increase your awareness of
the sources and causes of your stress, bringing relief and happiness.

There are two basic forms of meditation:

• Concentrative meditation focuses on a single element,
such as sound, image or feeling — it excludes everything else.
 • Mindfulness meditation includes all elements of the
environment and focuses on recognizing your stressors and
letting them go.

With both types of meditation, you need to train your mind. If your
mind begins to wander, you must coax it back to the focus of your
meditation. And although meditation can help nearly everyone, it is
important to understand some basic elements to choose the form
that works best for you.

Concentrative meditation ― here’s how:

• First, choose a familiar word that has meaning for you and

is
easy to repeat.
• Focus on your breathing. Feel your abdomen expand and

contract. If your mind wanders, refocus and concentrate on your

breathing.
• After a few minutes, start repeating your chosen word.

Concentrate on every breath you take. Allow the sound of your

word to lead you deeper into relaxation — forget everything else.
• As your session ends, gradually return your focus to your

breathing, and slowly begin to notice what is happening both

internally and externally.

Yoga:

Yoga is a mind-body exercise combining stretching and controlled

breathing to achieve relaxation and a stabilized mood. In addition
to stress reduction, yoga provides many other benefits, including:
 • Increased flexibility and coordination.
• Reduced muscle tension.
• Improved balance.

• Management of other health conditions, such as low back

pain, multiple sclerosis and arthritis.

There are many different types of yoga, but all share basic elements
— rhythmic breathing, meditation and stretching postures (called
asanas). The most common form of yoga is hatha yoga — a series
of gentle movements that can be tailored to your abilities.

Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness encourages you to be fully present. It also teaches

you to accept change, to “go with the flow.” You may have
noticed that two different people faced with the same stressful
ituation may have very different responses, some of which may
depend on personality, some of which can be learned.

Mindfulness meditation ― here’s how:

Focus on your breathing. Feel your abdomen expand and
ontract. If your mind wanders, refocus and concentrate on your
breathing.
Allow your thoughts to come and go freely. You may
xperience physical sensations, like pain, pleasure, sadness or
happiness. Allow these to happen without resistance.
Allow yourself to experience the present moment. Forget
bout the past and future. Be in the moment as much as possible.
 f your attention wanders, refocus and concentrate on your
breathing.
Four tips for meditating:
• Find a quiet environment and an uninterrupted block of
time. You may want to set a timer. Ten minutes once a day is a
good
tart. Work to expand the duration, or add a second session at a
different time of day.
• Establish a comfortable position. The ideal is to sit upright,
back straight, cross-legged on the floor, or in a chair. Find a
elaxed position you can maintain without effort.
• Choose an object to focus on, whether it be external (a
picture
on the wall) or internal (your chosen word).
• Work toward letting go and accepting whatever comes up.

Please remember, as I finally did, that life is more than just stress and
anxiety. These responses can dominate us if we are not careful. By
using such relaxation techniques, you’ll find your life much more
fulfilling and you’ll be even more successful. It will, then, be less
about your daily stress balancing act and more about total life
fulfillment.

I look forward to talking with you again next week. Take care my
friends…