CooperCrisisTeamChecklist:DeathofaStudent

Note:Itisessentialtoprotectthefamilysintegrityintheprocessofmeetingthe
studentsneeds.Thisshouldbeconsideredineachdecision.

Yes/No

Activity

Verifyfacts(Ifsuicide,seesuicide
resourcesdosanddonts)

Identifyvictimoftrauma

Decideifpolice/fireservicesare
needed
Identifyneedsforbuildingsecurity

NotifyDistrictOffice

NotifyBuildingCrisisTeam

NotifyMediaCoordinatororphone
messagetostaff

ActivatePhoneTree

InitialPlanningMeeting
y

Checkwhen
done

InitialPriority

Person
Responsible

Evaluatehowmuchimpactislikely
onbuildingfunctions(Howwell
knownwasstudent?
(Groups/activitiesbelongedto?)

n
n
n

Considerculturalfactorsandplan
forneeds.SeeResourcetabfor
culturalcompetentmaterials.

Evaluatebuildingresources
available.

Evaluateneedforoutside
assistance(districthelporoutside
resources).Consideraskingfor
supportoverlunchperiodata
minimum.

Ifteacherdeath,plantocover
classes.

Determineneedforsubstitutesand
haveaplantobriefthemwhenthey
arrive.

Determineschoolscheduleforthe
day.

Establishcommunication
procedure.SeeCommunications
andCoordination.

Principalphonecall/homevisit.

Designatefamilyliaison.

Supportstafftofollowstudents
schedule.Atelementaryconsider
careforstudentdesk.

Pullcumulativefolder.

Placeholdonmailing/phonecalls
tofamilyofdeceasedby
withdrawingstudentonCampus.

Determinepolicyforleaving
school.
Tasks(early)

Announcement/emailforstaff(see
samplestab)

Announcementforstudents/Decide
procedure(seesamplestab)

Statementforphonecalls
coordinatewithsecretaries(see
samplestab)

Organize/leadbeforeschoolstaff
meeting(seesampleagenda)

Providegrief/losshandoutsfor
teachers(seeresources)

SetupSupportRoomsforstudents
andstaff(seeSupportRoomtab)

Arrangeforfood/waterforsupport
rooms.

Determinestudents/familiesthat
mayneedadvancenotificationsand
writeinfotobeshared.

Considerotherschools/programs
affectedandcontact

Discussplanforlocationof
spontaneousmemorial

Makedeterminationfor
cancellationofactivitiesif
necessary

Designatefloatertowalk
halls/checkbathroomsfor
withdrawnorisolatedstudents
Tasks(mid)

Writeletterhometoparents.
Includegrief/lossinformationfor
parents.(seeSampletab)

Copypictureofdeceasedstudent
fordistributiontofriends

Tipsforgrievingstudentshandout
inSupportRoomtab

Organize/leadafterschoolstaff
meeting

CrisisTeamdebriefingatendof
Day1

Identifyhighrisk/mostaffected
students

Determinestaffavailableafter
schoolandintoeveningonDay1

PlanforDay2andrestofweek

Tasks(asweekprogresses)

Reviewdistrictguidelinesfor
memorials/activities.(seesuicide
resourcesifsuicide)

Consultwithfamilyre:deliveryof
personaleffects

Considerahomevisitbya
favorite/primaryteacher

Determinepolicyforfuneral
attendance(staffandstudents)

CrisisCoordinator/principalto
provideperiodicemailupdates
throughouttheweektostaff

Checkinwithmostaffected
staff/teachers

Sendflowers/plant/memorialto
family/funeralhome(consider
culturalfactorsinregardtothis)

Planparent/communitymeetingif
necessary(toaddressdepression,
chemicaluse,suicide,grief/loss,
etc.)

Determineoutsidesupportneeded
forsubsequentdayspostcrisis

Planforgrief/lossgroupformost
affectedstudentsfor68weeks

Vulnerablestudentsshouldbe
followedfor68weeksby
identifiedstaffmember(s)

Debriefcrisiswithbuildingcrisis
teamwithinoneweekofcrisis

PrincipalsChecklist

VerifyDeath
Verifythedeathofthestudent.Contactlocalauthoritiesforspecificfacts.Information
mustbeverifiedfromfamilyortheauthoritiesbeforetellingothers.Gatherasmuch
detailaspossibletohelppreventrumorsandinaccurateinformationbeingspread.
Instructtheinitialinformationnottodiscusswithothersuntilfactsareverified.
NotifytheSuperintendentandDistrictCommunicationsDirector
Discussexpectationsregardingtheimpactthecrisiswillhaveontheschool
community
Discussimmediatemediaissues
Discusspotentialsecurityissues
Discusslettersandannouncementsthatmayneedtobewrittendesignatewhowill
takecareofthesetasks
ConvenetheCrisisTeam
Initiatecrisisteamphonetreeifduringnonschoolhours
SeeCrisisTeamchecklistforspecifictasks
ActivatetheSchoolPhoneTree
InalmostallcasesnotificationofALLstaffmembersshouldoccurAFTERthecrisis
teamhasmetandinitialfactshavebeenconfirmed
Themessagetoallstaffshouldincludeaverybriefsummaryofthecrisisand
informationaboutarequiredstaffmeeting
FamilyConversation
Donotunderestimatehowimportantitmaybeforsomefamiliestohavethe
principal,andnotanotherstaffmembercallthem.Insomecasesitmaybeappropriate
tohaveamemberofthecrisisteambethefamilycontactaftertheinitialadministrative
contacthasbeenmade.Bespecificaboutwhotheschoolcontactpersonwillbewith
thefamily
Expresssympathy
Asyoutalkwithfamily,reviewwhatwillbesharedwithstudentsandstaff
Beavailabletovisitwiththefamilyinvolvedinthecrisisalongwithoneormore
membersoftheCrisisTeam.Considerotherimportantstaffsuchasaspecialteacher
whomighthelpcomfortthefamily
Includefamilyindecidinghowmuchwillbeshared,respectingprivacy,but
emphasizingimportanceoftruthtellingtostudentsandstaff
Helpgrievingfamilyunderstandthatchildrenwillbeseekinganswersandifnottold,
maycomeupwithstoriesworsethanthetruthwhichmaybehurtfultothefamily

Askaboutfuneralservicesandhowtheyfeelaboutstaffandstudentsattending
Planandconvenebeforeschoolfacultymeeting
Determinetheneedforadditionalfacultymeetingsasthecrisisunfolds
MiscellaneousMustDoList
Checkstudentlockersgymandregular
Removestudentnamefromtheattendancedialer
Stopmailsuchasgrades,suspensionformsetc.ifithasnotgonetothepostoffice
FuneralCommunicationPlan
Determineandcommunicatewithfamiliestheabsencepolicyforstudentsattending
thefuneral
Evaluatetheneedtoprovidetransportationtothefuneral
Workwiththecrisisteamtodeterminestaffsupervisionplanatthefuneral

TeacherChecklist

Attendbeforeschoolstaffmeeting
Readpreparedstatementoffactstotheclass.Youmayaskforhelpreadingthe
statementifyouarenotcomfortablewiththistask
Maycontinuewiththeschooldayafterreadingthestatementanddiscussthe
situationwiththestudentstothedegreethattheyarecomfortable
MayrequestamemberoftheCrisisTeamorSupportStafftocomeinto
classroomtohelpfacilitatethediscussion
Mayallowtheopportunityforstudentstodiscussthesituationandsharetheir
feelings
MayexcuseorsendastudenttothedesignatedStudentSupportroom/areaorto
aspecificsupportstaffatanytimeduringtheday.Teachersareencouragedto
referstudentswho,foremotionalorbehavioralreasons,appeartobestruggling
tofunctioninclass
MayconsultwithCrisisTeammemberorsupportstafftoexchangeinformation,
obtainsupportordebriefduringoraftertheschoolday
Attendafterschoolstaffmeeting
Mayrequestsubcoverageinordertoattendafuneral

SuggestionsforTeachers:Forstudentsdealingwithgriefandloss

Givethefactsregardingtheincidentinaconcrete,clear,andaccuratemanner.
Teachersshouldbeprovidedwithanupdatedstatementtoreadtostudents.
Avoidentertainingspeculation,rumors,andunnecessarydetails
Itisimportanttoacknowledgetherealityofthecriticalincidentandyour
willingnesstotalkaboutit
Besimpleandstraightforward.Discussdeathorothertragedyintermsthe
studentcaneasilyunderstand
Expressyourownfeelingsinanopen,calmwaythatencouragesstudentsto
expresstheirgrieforfear.Somestudentschoosenottotalkthediscussionof
theeventstrikesthemasasourceofmorepainorfear,andsomehaveahard
timeverbalizingtheirfeelings.Thesestudentsshouldnotbepressuredtotalk
Listen,acknowledgethelossorfear,andhaveanonjudgementalattitude
Bepatient.Manytimesbecauseoftheirneedforreassurance,studentswill
repeatthesamequestions.Somestudentsmaytellabouttheirrelationshipand
reconstructtheloss.Repetitionsofthissortarepartofthenormalgrieving
process
Studentswhomayhavehadrecentconflict(orcloseproximityorcontactsuchas
labpartner)withthedeceasedmaybeparticularlyaffected
Assessthemeaningofthelossforeachstudent.Paycloseattentiontothose
whohaveexperiencedotherrecentdeathsorlossesortothosewhohave
emotionalproblems
Beawarethathighschoolagestudentsmayshowtheirempathyduringgrieving
throughphysicalcontactsuchashuggingortouchingonthearm
Feelfreetosetasidethecurriculumasneeded.Requestclassroomsupportfrom
supportstaff(i.e.schoolpsychologist,socialworker,counselor)tobepresentin
yourclassroomasneeded
Assesswhichstudentsareinneedofadditionalsupportandreferthemtothe
designatedcounselingcenterorsupportareaforindividualsupportand/or
assessment.Ifpossible,havesomeoneaccompanythem

*Knowthatthereisnoonerightwaytotalkaboutdeathorothertragedyaslongas
youraregenuineandempathetic
Source:NationalAssociationofSchoolPsychologists(NASP):BestpracticesinSchool
CrisisPreventionandIntervention(2002)

CrisisCommunicationsandCoordination

1. CommunicationforStaff
Walkietalkiesneedtobeavailableforthefollowingstaffmembers.Extrawalkie
talkiesareavailableforsignoutfromtheHennepinCountySheriffsOffice(Golden
Valley).CalltheSafetyandEmergencyServicesManagerat8139forassistancewith
this.
Principal
CrisisCoordinator
SupportRoomCoordinator
Stafffollowingstudentsschedule
LockerMonitor
FloaterinHallway
GuidanceOfficecontactperson

2. DistrictCrisisSupportTeam
PlantasksfortheDistrictCrisisSupportTeammemberswhohavebeen
requestedforassistance.Theprincipalorcrisiscoordinatorshouldbethecontact
personforDistrictCrisisSupportTeammemberswhentheyenterthebuilding.Possible
optionsincludethefollowingassignments.
a. Sitatsignin/outtableinthesupportroom
b. Providepsychologicalfirstaidinthesupportroom
c. Stepinforsupervisoryrolessomorefamiliarstaffcanbeinthesupportroom
d. Circulateschooltoprovidepresencehelpidentifystudentswhoneedsupport
e. Provideindividualsupportinguidanceofficeforstudentsinneed

3. SupportforBuildingCrisisTeam
Planbreaksforthefrontlinestaffinthesupportroom/guidanceofficeasneeded
andspecificallyforlunch.

4. MediaCommunications
Allrequestsfromthemediashouldfirstbereferredtothecommunications
director7635048029.Ifthecommunicationsdirectorisnotavailableadesigneewillbe
chosenbythesuperintendent.

Inanyemergencysituationinvolvingaschool,itisalmostacertaintythatthenews
mediawillbecomeinvolved.Mostnewsorganizationshaveemergencyscannersso

theywillhearwhenpoliceorfireofficialsarecalledtoaschoolandtheywilldispatcha
newscrew.Inanemergencysituation,thecommunicationsdirectormustbenotifiedto
assistwiththemedia.Donotignorereporters,butbrieflyexplainthatinformationwillbe
providedassoonaspossible.

CulturalConsiderationsChecklist

Needforaninterpreter
LanguageLine:18005231786

Languageneeded
ClientID:709436
OrganizationalName:RobbinsdaleAreaSchools
PersonalCode:yourlastnameandschoolname
Telldispatcherthatyourneedtodialout

NotifyDistrictCulturalLiaison(s)
NotifyStudentAdvocates
IdentifyInterpreterAvailability
Communicatewithclergywhoservethefamilyofthedeceasedwhenfamily
identifiesclergyandgivespermission
Seetheresourcesinthebackofthemanual

SAMPLESTAFFMEETINGAGENDA

AllstaffMeetingat7:05inMediaCenter

1. Distributebriefstatementtoteacherstobereadtostudentsin1stperiodclasses
2. Supportin(Students)classes
a. Supportstaffwillfollow(Students)schedule
b. Supportstafftoassistorfacilitateclassroomdiscussion
c. Identifystudentsinneedofdirectsupportorsupervision
3. MediaCenterSupportArea
a. AllowstudentstogotoMediaCenterw/escortorbyhallpass
b. Signinstudentuponarrivalandsignout
c. SupportStaffavailabletomeetwithstudents
i.
Counselors,SocialWorkers,SchoolPsychologists
ii.
Ifneeded:PlymouthPoliceChaplain,DistrictSchoolPsychologists
orSocialWorkersandFamilyNetworksTherapistscanbecalled.
d. SupportStafftoassessstudentslevelofemotional
stability/coping/supportneedsandinformparentofstudentsunableto
functionorpotentiallyatrisk
e. Materialssuchasmarkers,tagboard,paperetc.willbeprovidedto
students
f. Foodorhealthsnacksalongwithwatermaybeprovided
4. Beawareofsupportfor(Students)Advisory(Wed.),GolfTeam,Footballplayers,
APClasses,APTeachers.
5. Afterschoolmeetingtocheckinwithteachers
a. Feedback:Whatwentwell?Whatneedtobeaddressed?
b. Issuestoconsiderforthefollowingday
c. Studentsofconcern:studentswhostayedhomeduringDay1?
6. Provideemailandcopiesofvisitationandfuneralnoticetostudentsandstaffas
soonastheyareavailable

OTHERTASKS:
Removethe(Students)phonenumberfromtheautomatedattendancecalling
system
Pull(Students)APcheck(s)?
Emailteacherresources

Memorials
Duetothelongterminabilitytocareforpermanentmemorials,suchmemorialsas
plaques,trees,worksofart,portraitsetc.willnotbeacceptedbythedistrict.Inaneffort
tobeconsistentinourresponsetoalldeaths,thefollowingguidelinesare
recommended.

TemporarySpontaneousMemorials
Thesememorialresponsesbystudentsoftenoccurattheareaofthestudentlocker.If
thisisdeterminedtobeanappropriatelocation,itwillneedsupervision/protection.Itwill
behelpfulforstudentstoknowthatspontaneousmemorialsmayremainuntilthetimeof
thefuneral.Atthatpoint,thefamilyshouldreceiveallflowers,notes,pictures,etc.that
mayhavebeengathered.Itishelpfulforstudentstohaveaplacefortheoutpouringof
grief.Largebannersorcardsforwritingpersonalnotesareappropriateactivitiesforthe
supportroom.

DeathDuetoSuicide
Nopublicmemorialgesturesofanykindarerecommendedinthecaseofasuicide.

Yearbook
Thepictureofthedeceasedshouldremainintheyearbookinitsusualalphabetical
orderandshouldbethesamesizeasalltheotherstudentphotos.Itcanincludedates
ofbirthanddeath(withparentpermission).Thepicturewillbeplacedinthecurrent
yearbookonly.Dedicationpagesarenotrecommended.

Graduation(Fordeathofa9th12thgradestudent,otherthansuicide)
Atsomeappropriatetimeafterthefuneral,alettershouldbesenttotheparentswith
optionsthattheymightrequestatthetimetheirstudentwouldhavegraduated.
Studentsmaychoosetoinitiatetheseactivitiesfortheirdeceasedfriend,butthefamily
mustalwaysbeconsulted.Acceptableoptionsincludearoseonachairintheplace
wherethatstudentwouldhavebeenandanhonorarydiploma.Thediplomamybe
mailedoracceptedbyafamilymemberatthetimeofthegraduationsceremony.THe
familyshouldbegivenastaffnametocontactintheeventthattheywouldliketobe
includedingraduation.

CareofElementaryStudentDesk
Thedeskofadeceasedstudentneedscarefulattention.Itmaybeanappropriateplace
toleavecardsorotheritemsthatshouldeventuallybegiventothefamily.Donot

removethedeskfromtheclassroomuntilthetimeofthefuneral.Preparestudentsby
tellingthemwhentheycanexpectthatthedeskwillberemoved.Thismaybeagood
timetodoarearrangementofclassseating.

SampleLettertoStaff
Date:
To:AllStaff
From:INSERTNAMEOFSCHOOLCrisisTeam
Re:INSERTNAMEOFDECEASED

Therecentdeathof(InsertName)(hasORisexpectedtomake)asignificantimpactonourentire
schoolcommunity.OurCrisisTeamhasbeenmobilizedtorespondtothetragicevent.

On(insertdate),(Insertnameofdeceased),(Insertbrieffactsaboutthedeath).Weexpecta
varietyofreactionstothislossfromourstudents,parents,andmembersofourstaff.Someof
thesereactionsmaybemild,othersmaybemoreintense.

Toeffectivelyassistallmembersofourschoolcommunity,andemergencystaffmeetingwillbe
heldat(Inserttime)on(Insertdate)inthe(Insertplacesuchasthecafeteriaorotherlargearea).
Atthattime,ourCrisisTeamwillprovidefurtherdetailsandanswerquestions.Wewillalso
discusshowtopresenttheinformationstoourstudents.Inthemeantime,pleasereferallinquiries
fromoutsidesourcesto(InsertnameoftheMediaorCommunicationCoordinator).

Withstudents,youcanacknowledgethatthisdeathhasoccurred.However,pleaseavoid
discussionofanydetailssimplytellstudentsthattheschoolstaffwillprovideinformationto
everyoneshortly.Pleasereferanystudentwhoappearstobeincrisisorhavingsignificant
difficultyto(InsertnameofCounselingServicesCoordinator).Asthistragedyhasalsoaffected
ourstaff,weencourageyoutoalsoseekassistancefrom(InsertnameofCounselingServices
Coordinator),ifdesired.

EmergencyStaffMeeting
Time:
Date:
Location:

Ifyouhaveanyquestionsorconcernsbeforethemeeting,pleasecontact(InsertnameofCrisis
TeamCoordinator).

Examplesofinformationtoinsertintheopeningparagraph:
JohnSmith,oneofour9thgradestudents
Mrs.Jones,whotaught7thgradeEnglish

Waskilledinanautomobileaccident
Diedafteralongillness
DiedsuddenlyCommittedsuicide(beforeinsertingthisinformation,besuretheimmediatefamily
isfinewiththisinformationbeingreleased)

SampleLettertoParents
Date:

DearParent,

Itiswithdeepregretthatweinformyouaboutarecentlosstoourschoolcommunity.On(Insert
date),(Insertnameofdeceased)(Insertbrieffactsaboutthedeath).Thislossissuretoraise
manyemotions,concerns,andquestionsfortheentireschool,especiallyourstudents.

Ourschool(andInsertnameofschooldistrict,ifapplicable)hasaCrisisInterventionTeammade
upofprofessionalstrainedtohelpwiththeneedsofstudents,parents,andschoolpersonnelat
difficulttimessuchasthis.Atourschool(orInsertnameofalternativeschool),wehave
counselorsavailableforanystudentwhomayneedorwanthelporanytypeofassistance
surroundingthisloss.Weencourageyou,asparents,toalsofeelfreetouseourresources.

Wehaveenclosedsomeinformationthatmaybeusefultoyouinhelpingyourchildathome.If
youwouldlikeadditionalinformationorneedassistance,pleasedonothesitatetocontact(Insert
nameofCommunicationsCoordinatororCounselingServicesCoordinator)at(Insertphone
number).

Wearesaddenedbythelosstoourschoolcommunityandwillmakeeveryefforttohelpyouand
yourchildasyouneed.

Sincerely,

(Typethenameofthesignerandtitle.Thisletterisusuallysignedbytheprincipal,superintendent,
orcrisisteamcoordinator)

Examplesofinformationtoinsertintheopeningparagraph:

JohnSmith,oneofour9thgradestudents
Mrs.Jones,whotaught7thgradeEnglish

Waskilledinanautomobileaccident
Diedafteralongillness
Diedsuddenly
Committedsuicide(beforeinsertingthisinformation,besuretheimmediatefamilyisfinewiththis
informationbeingreleased)

SampleParentMessageforCampusMessenger

________________________________HighSchoolParents:

Imcallingwithdeepsadnesstosharethatourhighschoolismourningthelossofa______grade
student,_______________________________________.Wesharedthisnewswithourstudents
thismorning.Ihavespokenwith___________________________________sfamilyandwe
wanttorespecttheirdesiretogrieveprivately.Weareprovidingadditionalsupporttosclose
friendsandhavecounselorsavailableforstudentsinhis/herclasses.

Eachofourstudentswillrespondtothisnewsdifferently.Forstudentswhohaveexperiencedloss
before,thisnewscouldtriggeradditionalgrief.Parents,pleasebeavailabletoyourteentonightif
theyneedtotalkandIencourageyoutomonitortheiremotionsinthecomingdays.Ifwecanhelp
inanywaypleasecall___________________________.

SampleInformationforStudents

Thisinformationshouldbegiventoteachersandotherstafftoreadtostudentsatadesignated
timetosharewiththeentirestudentbody(e.g.,homeroomorfirst/secondperiod)

ItiswithsadnessthatItellyouaboutalosstoourschoolfamily.On(Insertdate)(Insertnameof
deceased)(Insertfactaboutthedeath).

Iunderstandthatmanyofyoumayhaveupsettingfeelingsandquestionsabout(Insertnameof
deceased)sdeath.IwilltrytoansweranyquestionsthatIcan.Ifyouwouldlike,wewilltakethe
remainderofthisclassperiodtotalkaboutwhathashappened.Attimeslikethis,itisokaytohave
manydifferentfeelings,includingsadness,anger,anddisbelief.Itisokaytocry.Together,wecan
talkaboutwhateveryoumaybefeelingorwanttotalkabout.IfIcannotansweryourquestions,
oryouwouldliketotalktosomeoneprivately,therearesupportroomsnowavailable(Insert
wheresupportroomsarelocated).Anyonewhowouldliketogototalketosomeoneinthe
supportroomsmaydosonow.Iwillgiveyouapass.

Determinewhichstudentswouldliketoleaveforasupportroom.Asktheremainingstudentsif
theyhaveanyquestionsorcommentstheywouldliketoshare.Taketimetoanswerandtotalkas
thestudentsdesire.

Ifthereisnotlengthydiscussion,considerquietseatworkratherthatlessonplansasusual.

OtherScripts

ForOfficeStaffReceivingPhoneCalls
The________________________________________schoolcommunityisdealingwiththetragic
deathofa__________gradestudentastheresultof__________________________________.
Studentsupportservicesstaffisavailabletosupportstudentsinthedaysahead.

ForSwitchboardWhenPublicConcernsArise
Iunderstandyourconcern.Asyouknow,the_____________________________________
schoolstudentsareminorsandtheschooldistrictisnotpermittedtoshareprivateinformation.I
canassureyouthattherearemanycaringadultswhoareworkingtohelptheseyoungpeople
dealwiththistragedy.Ifyouhaveconcernsaboutyourownchild,pleaseconsultwithyour
schoolsstudentsupportstaff.

ForBusDrivers
The____________________________________________schoolcommunityisdealingwiththe
tragicdeathofa______gradestudentasaresultof__________________________.Student
supportservicesstaffareavailabletosupportstudentsinthedaysahead.

HandlingaClassWhenaStudentorStaffMemberDies

Herearesomehelpfulguidelinesforleadingaclassroomthroughprocessingaloss:
Gathertogetherandreadtheannouncement
Askwhatyouknowclarifyfacts.Discussionmightinclude:
Howmanyofyouhadalreadyheardabout________________________________s
deathbeforeyougottoschooltoday?Whatdidyouhear?(Letstudentsrespond.Dont
necessarilyclarifyorcorrecteachdetailaskidsspeakafterafewkidsturns,pointout
thatweallhearddifferentparts,ifthatstrue.Pointoutthatwhensomeonedies,weare
reallysearchingfordetailsandfacts,tryingtomakesenseofit.
Thisiswhatwevebeentoldby__________________________.(Clarifyfacts.)
Kidshavelotsofdifferentkindsofreactionsandfeelingsattimeslikethis.Whataresome
ofyours?(Letthemtellyouaboutthatforawhile).
Maybesomeofyouarethinkingaboutothersinyourliveswhohavedied.(Letthemshare
afewoftheirexperienceswithfamilydeaths).
Hereswhatwethinkwillhappennext.(Givedetailsoffuneralarrangements,schoolplans,
otherdetails).
Nowjustseewherediscussionleads.
Sometimeskidswanttowritelettersormakecardsorwritepoems.Wouldanyofyoulike
todosomethinglikethat?

Youmighttalkabouthowsomekidsarebotheredmorebythingslikethisthanothers,andthat
thisisatimeforallstudentstopracticerespectandresponsibility,andthatthisisatimetolearn
aboutempathy.

SomeSuggestions:
Bearolemodelforexpressionoffeelings.Shareyourownreactionswiththeclass.
Letchildrentalk,write,ordrawabouttheirfeelings.
Listentowhatstudentshavetosay.Dontshutoffdiscussion.Giveverified,age
appropriate,honestinformation.
Makesuretheclassknowsthedetailsofthestudents/staffsillness
Especiallyforyoungerchildren,separatetheillnessofthechildwhodiesfromanymedical
problemshisorherclassmatesexperience.
Useconcretetermssuchasdiedordeathinsteadofwentawayorwontbebackfor
awhileorpassedaway.
Donottellyourchildren,GodtookSallyawaybecauseHelovesher,becausechildren
maywonderifitsagoodideatobelovedbyGod.Likewisedontsay,Sallywentto
sleep,asyoumaycreateaclassofsleepdisorderedstudents.Realizethatitisjustfineto
sayIdontknowtheanswertothatwhenthatisthetruth!
Dontforcearegulardayupongrievingstudents,butatthesametime,dontallowthe
classtobetotallyunstructured.Offerchoicessuchaswritingletters,journals,discussions
ofotherlosses,orparticipationinappropriatephysicalactivities.

Allowstudentstowritepersonalsympathynotesorpictureseithertotheparents/relatives
ortoastudentwhohassufferedaloss.Thesewillbegiventostaffforscreeningand
distribution,asappropriate.
Planmoreactiveexpressionsofconcernforolderstudents.Allowthemtoarrangea
scheduleformakingfood,suchascasserolesanddesserts.Helpthemraisemoneyfora
memorialscholarshipfund,medicalresearchdonations,oracauseespecially
commemorativeofthedeceasedstudentthroughfunctionssuchascarwashes,dances,
orbasketballgames.Haveaplantofollowupthegrievingofthesestudents
Makesurethatiffuneralhomevisitationsthatareopentothepublic,visitationtimesare
wellpublicized.Considerincludingatactfullessonforstudentsonwhattoexpect,andon
visitationandfuneraletiquette.
Explainhowstudentsshouldtreatabereavedstudent/staffwhoisreturningtoschool.
Emphasizethattryingtoavoidorbeingoverlysolicitoustothestudent/staffwillnothelp.
Pointouttheneedtoresumenormalrelationships.
Rememberthatyourclassmayremainquietanddepressedforsometimeafterward
(perhapsevenamonth),andthatsomestudentsmaybegintoactoutnoisilyand
physicallyasawayofaffirmingthattheyarestillalive.
Utilizethebuildingcounselorsinplanningwaystoassistthestudents.
Ifapplicable,shareanyculturalinformationrelatedthethemeaningofdeathanddeath
observancesthatwillhelpstudentsunderstandandrespondcomfortablytoaffectedfamily
members.

Student/staffmembersmayfeelanyorallofthestagesofgrief,plus:
Panic/confusion.
Asenseofoverwhelmingresponsibilityforstudents/staffswellbeinginthistimeofgrief.
Unresolvedfeelingsaboutpastdeathsorlossintheirpersonallives.
Unresolvedfeelingsaboutissuesthatarespecifictofamiliesinvolved.(Localhistorymay
notbecleanwithinvolvedfamily).
Fearabouthowtodealwiththiseventwithleastnegativereactionfromparents.
Fearthattheremaybeageneralpanicofstudentbodyifwedealwiththisatall.
Aneedtokeepitallundercovertokeepthemselvessafefromtheirownfears,
discomfort.
Helplessness
Residualeffectsfromnothavingbeenhonestorcompleteintellingstudentsinformation
whichwouldhavepreparedthem(realizingafterthedeaththatlotscouldhavebeendone
priortonowtofacilitatethingsatthistime.)
Struggleofwanting/needingtomakeitallOK.
Unprepared,inadequate,unabletofunction.
Empty,frozenfeeling
Preoccupied,distracted,spacedout.
Compulsive,notabletoletgoofdetail/activity.

Support/SafeRoomConsiderations

Administrationmustbepresentoreasilyaccessibleatalltimes.

SupportRoomCoordinatorneedawalkietalkie.

Signin/outsheetneeds12stafftomonitor.

Recommendedratioforstaff/studentsinsupportroom1:15(stafftostudents).

RoleofstaffinsupportroomissupervisionandcheckinsusingthePrinciplesofPsychological
FirstAid(seeresourcesheets).

Musthavestaffinsupportroomthatlooklikestudentswhoaregrieving.

Considerhavingteacher(s)ofdeceasedstudentbeavailableinsupportroomtoassiststudents
andbeabletogrievewithstudents.

Highlyemotionalstudentswillbereferredtothecounselorforonetoonetime.

SuppliesNeeded
Markers,crayons,coloredpencils
Tissues
Water
Considerfood/snacks,napkins,smallplates
Butcherblockpaper
CDplayerandrelaxingCDmusic
Nametags(forstaff)
MaskingTape
Picturesofstudent(mediamaybeabletohelpproducecolorpictures)
Chairs,tables,bigpillows,andothercomfythings
Signin/outsheet
Handoutonselfcareforstudents,staff,andsupportroomstaff
Letterforstudentstotakehometoparentsatendofday
Factsheetwithinformationabouttragedy

Activities
Talking,sitting,writing,coloring,walking,listeningtomusic,quiettime,workingon
assignments,drinkinghotchocolate...justatimetofeelsafeenoughtofeel.

FlowofDayConsiderationsinSupportRoom

1. EarlyinDay
Studentstendtobeinshock,arequiet,sad,crying,hugging.Saffroleistobepresent,
checkingently,andcirculatetheroom.

Ataboutonehour,orso,intothedayastaffmemberneedstoaddressthegrouptooffer
condolences,talkabouttheplanfortheday,proceduresforleavingtheroom(going
home),lunchandsupportavailable.Considerlargegroupdiscussionorbreakingintosmall
groupsfrotalking,usingtipsonpsychologicalfirstaide.

2. Midday/Lunch
Studentsoftenleavetogotocafeteriaoroffgrounds(upperclassmen)forlunch.This
tendstobeachaotictimeofday.Priortofirstlunch,addressthelargegroupaboutsigning
backinwhentheycomeinafterlunch,aswellaswhatwillhappenafterlunch.Makesure
thereisaprocedureinplacetorelievesupportroomstaffforlunchbreaks.

3. AfterLunch
Studentsarelessinshock.Somestudentsremainquiet,sad,andcrying.Othersaremore
talkativeandmaybelaughing.Thiscancreatetensionbetweenstudents.Watchfor
tensionandsuggestsomestudentsgotosmallerenvironment(guidanceofficeformore
individualized/smallergroupsupport.

4. EndofDay
Againaddressthelargegroupwithawrapupsummary.Handoutletterstogohomewith
tipsforstudent(selfcareideas).Talkaboutplanfortomorrow.Includeselfcareandcoping
ideas.

{SampleSupportRoomLetterforStudents}

AFewThoughtsforStudentsWhoAreGrieving

Feelthepainacceptyouremotions.Itisimportantforthegrievingprocesstobeabletobesad
andcry.Thisispartofgrief.Thepainispartofthehealingprocess.

Deathendsalifebutitdoesnotendarelationship.Memoriesgooninthesurvivorsmind.Let
_______________________________bewithyoubyremembering.

Youmaynotbegrievinglikethosearoundyou.Whatisgrieftoyourmaynotbegrieftosomeone
else.Itisallrightbecauseeveryonegrieveddifferently.Allowyourselftogrieveinyourownway.

Youmayfeelprotectiveofyourrelationshipwith_________________________________and
wanttoexcludeotherswhodidn'twhodidntknowhim/heraswell.Rememberthat
_______________________________sdeathmaytriggermemoriesofotherstudentslosses
andtheyneedpermissiontobeabletobesadandsaygoodbyeaswell.

Allowyourselftoaccepttheexpressionsofcaringfromothers.

Escapeforawhileandfindaspotwithpeaceandquiet.

Talkifyoucan.Tellyourparentswhatisgoingon.Althoughdevelopmentallyyourarefiguringout
whoyouareanditsnormaltobesomewhatseparatefromyourparents,youneedthem.They
havethewisdomthatcomesfromlifeexperienceandcanbeanimportantsupporttoyouasyou
gothroughthisloss.

Takethingsonedayatatime.

Giveyourselfapatonthebackforthethingsyoudowell,butdonttrytobeperfect.

{SampleSupportRoomLetterforFamilies}

[Date]

Dear[SchoolName]Families,

Youarereceivingthisletterbecauseyourson/daughterhasbeenaffectedtodaybyaloss.Oneof
theirclassmates,________________________________________,passedawayyesterday.
[He/She]wasa[grade]gradestudent.[Includeappropriatedetails.]

Weprovidedsupporttoyourson/daughterthroughouttheschooldaytoday.Wewantyoutoknow
thatthegriefprocesscanbelongandcomplicated.Wearepreparedtooffersupporttoyourchild
throughouttheschoolyearasneeded.

Weencourageyoutotalkwithyourchildabouthis/hersadness.Initially,thepredominantfeelings
tendtobeshockanddisbelief.Yourchildmayfeelangryand/orsad.Allfeelingsarenormal.Fora
time,theremaybedisturbancesinsleepand/orappetite,aswellaschangesintheirnormal
activitypatterns.Pleasecall______________________,ourschool___________________ifyou
wouldliketotalkaboutyourconcernsregardingyourchild(763504xxxx).Ifyouareinneedof
supportovertheweekend,CrisisConnectionisa24hourcrisislineandtheycantakeyourcall
(6123796363).

Wewishtocommendyourstudentforhis/hersensitivityandcompassionduringthisdifficulttime.
Yourchildsschoolcontinuestodemonstrateitsstrongsenseofcommunityandcaringforone
another.Wethankyouforyourroleinthat.

Sincerely,

[SchoolName]Principal

SAFEROOMSIGNIN

Studentsneedtosigninandouteachtimetheyarehere.

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Timeout

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