loon

that is an unprecendented triump

able to rein
bigotry
im such a slut for authority
we're not territorial about that sort of thing around here,are we?
in hopes of..
negotiating an annulment
enormous persuasive skills
they can't fascilitate an annulment
hiring a private investigator is beneath you
dismantle it with your buffoonery
take a swing if you want to, if it makes you better
show contrition
bifurcate the trial
and to what do you attribute that?
this certainly has no relevance
has waned
you dont think theres a pathology at play here?
its supposed to intimidate or conjure up awe
i require a lot of fresh towels and nghtly turndown service
indecency of it
you demean the profession
youre using the client to get a notch
i may not be able to talk as fast, but my tongue is certainly more versatile
i certainly was a precipitating factor
you have a bunion
i consder it a preposterous coincidence
i suppose i feared that it wouldn't depict me in the best possible light
gets steamrolled
momentarily stymied
ostensibly about business only to pursue his romantic interests
she looks demented
he started running away as he was rifling through it
you just let the pictures be introduced without so much an objection
please dont trivalize this
we're talking about benefiting ppl below the poverty line.
and on that note, ill rest.
Alan Shore: Some people simply cannot let go. You love a person so desperately.
You perhaps begin to lose
sight of reason. And you begin to act unreasonably, perhaps out of control, even
. It s possible Daniel Ralston
had no control over his behavior. Maybe he truly couldn t stop pursuing Wendy Moor
e. Maybe he had to keep
calling. Had to schedule those lunches. Had to seemingly stalk her, if you will.
He was in love with her. People
in love lose their grip. At this point Alan turns and looks at Christine s table.
But what s at issue here is her
state of mind. Her mental state. Not Mr. Ralston s state of mind. But Wendy s. Chris
tine squirms in her
chair a little bit. Was she reasonably upset by this relentless pursuit? She s a m
arried woman with a family,
trying to salvage her marriage and her boss keeps calling. Keeps coming. Keeps c
oming. Keeps propositioning
her. The fact that she once loved this man only makes it worse. More difficult.
What choice did she really have
but to leave? Maybe that was his plan all the time. He knew he couldn t fire her.
Maybe that was his
psychological game. Where the only thing she could really do in the end was get

in her car, and drive off. He

created a hostile working environment with repeated, unwelcomed sexual advances,
ladies and gentlemen. That
is prima facie classic sexual harassment. Alan turns from the jury and sits down
at his table. Christine
stands up to begin.
Christine Pauley: Love happens in the workplace all the time. In fact, it s where
most affairs start. Most
relationships. It happens. So do breakups. As a woman, I am offended by the onsl
aught of these lawsuits. As
neutral as the language may be, sexual harassment law is gender biased. It exist
s to protect woman. It feeds
into the perception that women are weaker than. It goes all the way back to comm
on law where women were
denied the right to enter into contracts because we lacked mental capacity. Toda
y s harassment law is
designed to protect us from sexual banter in the workplace because we just can t t
ake it. I can take it. Can
you? Can you? Do we really need to cleanse the workplace of all sexual expressio
n so that it ll be safe for us?
These laws treat us as if we were either psychologically or emotionally impaired
. And I m sick of it. Are some
cases legitimate? Absolutely. But here, this woman is a grown up. She entered in
to an adult consensual
relationship with her boss. It ended. Perhaps bumpy. He s hurt. He s still in love.
So she sues. She wasn t
fired. She is a college-educated vice president of a brokerage firm. She s 34 year
s old. She s a professional.
She s here today to tell you that she can t stick up for herself. She is here today
trying to take advantage of a
law that declares women to be the weaker sex. Not for me, ladies and gentlemen.
I wouldn t have gotten in my
car and driven off. I d have sooner driven over him. Alan chuckles. Let s treat thes
e people both of them
as if they were grown-ups. She sits down.
I m not counting the farmed salmon. And the idea to count them is absurd. That ri
ver
stays protected. Your variance is officially pulled. A permanent restraining ord
er is now in effect.
My world became quite twodimensional.
There was the hospital. And you
in perhaps unconventional means
heft
take pity on you
Edwin Poole: One last question, and this one I ask you as a layperson, a human b
eing. Is it conceivable to you
that if you had a loved one who had panicked and committed a horrible crime, say
murder, somebody you cared
deeply for perhaps a brother, a best friend, maybe your son had done this horrible
thing and you lay in a
hospital bed dying, is it conceivable that knowing you were dying, you might tak
e the blame for something you
didn t do just to spare your loved one a life sentence?
We either go forward or go in opposite directions because I don t like where we a
re now
1-05

Would you care to explain to me why two attorneys are out cavorting with a prost
itute?
You also seem like a hypochondriac.
Jason Binder: I told you - my mother.
Lori Colson: Mothers tend to come off as biased.
Someone just seems a little overeager to rekindle the flame with Alan Shore.
: This is a child who wouldn t slap a mosquito. He would shoo it away. He couldn t b
ring Shore:
Alan
himselfJust
to harm
to clarify,
a fly orifanyTara
animal,
did have
certainly
any intention
not a human
of whatever
being. euphemis
m you were in search of, it would,
in fact, be none of your business. To put your mind at rest, Tara appears not to
have intentions. I do. In fact, just yesterday I was suggesting to her that we
engage in a sexual act in her office, but her impenetrable sense of decorum unf
ortunately prevented us from engaging.
1-06
I suppose black and white makes us all look a bit like Moe Howard.
Alan Shore: And I her. As you know, in college not a day went by that I didn t lon
g to sleep with you. I hope I m
not being inappropriate.
Jack Fleming: As a matter of fact, you are.
Alan Shore: Then my apologies. When you spoke about truth a moment ago, I guess
I mistook that as a preference for full disclosure.
That copacetic on your end?
Paul Lewiston: I understand you provided representation to Jack Fleming after al
l, contrary to my explicit instructions.
Alan Shore: I did. But please understand, ordinarily, I place great value on all
thing explicit.
Sally Heep: Let me ask you a question. A manufacturer of toasters should anticip
ate that their written safety instructions will be ignored to the extent that th
ey re counterintuitive and should plan for that contingency, right?
Denny Crane: In an ideal world.
Paul Lewiston is outside the office, watching as Lori Colson continues to speak.
Her words are inaudible, but whatever she is saying has a devastating effect, a
s Richard sinks into a chair with hishand to his head. Paul walks away.
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Step back, please. My client doesn t consent to this procedure. And if
you ignore his wishes, I m afraid the consequences could be significant for this h
ospital, and you personally.
: You re doing what your client wants within the bounds of the law. End of inquiry
.
Taking blood is a minor intrusion. This is a surgery under general anesthesia w
here there are tangible, foreseeable risks. Cardiac arrest, hypocapnea, hypotens
ion Going to raise a ruckus. Care to join me?
discretionary option
It s not my habit to ambush colleagues in the middle of a proceeding. But you gav
e me no choice, Alan. I cannot allow an associate to declare war on behalf of th
is firm. Certainly not against a highly influential jurist.
You have ignored a direct order of the court. I expect a handwritten letter of
apology delivered to my chambers by end of day. As for your client, he will comp
lete the repairs as listed on the plea agreement in one week s time. If he complie
s to the last detail, I shall spare him any further consequences.
Your very presence torturing him, hour after hour, day after day
1-08

Lori Colson: Alan? Hey. Can I steal you for a second?

Alan Shore: A second? A minute I could maybe do, but a second would be pushing i
t. Would you like me to push it?
Lori Colson: You are so disgustingly vulgar. It s important.
Personally, I love the feel of a stiff breeze against my rosy cheeks. In any eve
nt, pardon my misunderstanding. I thought it was potentially human life at stake
.
Alan Shore: I believe homosexual is one word, Judge. But to avoid confusion, let s s
ay, gay.
You re making entendres. Disgusting, sick, innuendo entendres.
Which is why we are telling you, on the possibility that these threats are . . .
Alan Shore: I object to that summation; it was entirely too short.
Judge Harry Hingham: What?
Alan Shore: I m only worried for you, your Honor. If you re inclined to rule against
us, he s got to at least give
you a good argument to hang your hat on, so it looks good to all this media. Did
you notice the media here?
Judge Harry Hingham: Are you on drugs? You ve got 30 seconds.
Alan Shore: That s what I was afraid of. Your Honor, the child in question, whom m
y client shared his secret
with that child was in pain. Being a good Santa Claus, Gil Furnald sought to relie
ve that pain.
Judge Harry Hingham: By telling him he was a ho-mo-sexual.
Alan Shore: Those three little words again. checking the door again He did not t
ell the boy he was gay. He
only said that he also liked to dress in female attire. And that, only after the
child himself broached the subject.
10
Brad Chase: Why does he keep looking back here?
Tara Wilson: I have no idea.
Alan Shore: He encouraged the boy not to feel that he was sick. He urged him not
to feel alone. It was a onetime
occurrence strictly intended to speak to the heart of this one child. There is n
o evidence that this man has
committed any wrongdoing, nor is there any compelling evidence that cross-dresse
rs are inherently lascivious,
and the defendant knows that. Cross-dressing is but a pretext that the defendant
has hung its hat on to
disguise the fact that Gil Furnald was terminated because he is gay. Last time I
checked, it was not a firing
offense for a civilian to be either ho, mo or sexual.
The image of Santa Claus has been crafted for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds
of years, but we re supposed to be in a different day. Give the world a black Sant
a Claus. Let the people have
an African-American come down the chimney bearing joy and good will. Alan Shore:
soto voce to Al Sharpton Gay, not black.
Reverend Al Sharpton: The prejudice against gay people must stop. We all say we re
for gay rights. We all
say we accept homosexuality. But give a gay man a hug, sit in his lap . . . Let
the bells of tolerance ring out this Christmas. : Let people open their minds as
they open their presents underneath the tree. We
need your mind, judge, today. Let the gay man be my brother, be your brother, be
the schoolteacher, be the construction worker! Give the world a gay Santa Claus
! God Almighty . . . Alan Shore is counting them on his fingers . . . God Almigh
ty, God Almig
1-09