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The Prophet of Islam also stressed these meanings when he said: The
best among you are those who are best to their families and I am the best
of you to my family.
Parenthood
Parenthood is a creative struggle to accommodate a new-comer in a
world where everything needs to be shared in the family. It is a journey
through new experience that leads to more maturity and accountability of
the parents. The journey is a one-way traffic, full of bends, curves, ups
and downs. But it is the sense of consciousness that makes parenting a
lively and challenging enterprise. Positive parenting requires a
determined effort.
"All of you are shepherds, and each one is responsible for his flock. A
leader of people is a shepherd and responsible for them. A man is like a
shepherd over his family, and he is responsible for his flock. A woman is
like a shepherd over her husband’s house and children, and she is
responsible for them. And a slave is a guardian of his master’s property
and is responsible for it. So all of you are guardians and are responsible
for your charges." (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Allah creates the children with pure innate nature, without defects and
whatever defects that happens later on is the result of the bad education.
Imam Bukhari and Muslim reported that the Prophet said:
"Every new born has the correct instinct, his parents make him Jewish,
Christian or a fire worshipper."
Allah has put in every person the good tendencies and the bad
tendencies, so choose and testing will be performed, so parents must
encourage and grow the good tendencies in the child so he can become a
useful person that helps himself and his people. Allah (S.W.T) said in surat
Atahrim, verse 6, which is translated as,
"O' you who believe, protect yourselves and your families from a fire
whose fuel is men and stones."
Allah (S.W.T.) has entrusted parents with their children. Parents bear the
responsibility to raise-up their children in the Islamic way. If they do that
they will be blessed in this life and in the hereafter, and if they don't, they
will get bad result during their life and in the hereafter. In addition to the
responsibilities that men and women have in marriage, parenthood is
central to Muslim identity and faith. As an Islamic parent, it is necessary
to follow certain criteria when rearing children. These include maintaining
an Islamic environment, especially in the home, and adhering to Islamic
teachings regarding dress, diet, and prayer that are essential components
of a household. The couple must educate the children with the
understanding that Allah's teachings are the only acceptable principles for
practicing a proper way of life. Providing religious education is the core
responsibility of the parents. Often the father also takes on this more
formally with older children, especially males. Parents must also serve as
examples of the correct way of life according to Allah, and they must
establish a sense of open communication among family members. The
couple is expected to expose children to other Muslim families and
children. This is especially important in countries in which Islam is only
one of multiple practicing religions.
It has also been related that the very first words which have been
written on the Lauh-e-Mahfuz (The Heavenly Preserved Tablet) are:
"I am God, and there is no deity except Me. I am pleased with those with
whom their parents are pleased, and I am displeased with those with
whom their parents are displeased."
In the Quran Treat parents with honour & speak to them graciously
& with humility These verses make it clear that we must honour our
parents, appreciate their sacrifices and efforts for us, and do our best for
them. This is required regardless of whether they are Muslims or not. Be
good to parents and everyone else who you meet
If the Quran tells us to be good to a stranger how can we even think of
disrespecting our parents? References to parents have been made at
least 15 times in the Holy Qur'an. There are numerous traditions of the
Prophet Muhammad on this subject.
“He is not one of us who does not have mercy for children and respect for
our seniors.” (At-Tirmidhi)
It is reported that Al-Aqra' ibn Habis saw Allah's Messenger kissing his
grandchild and said to the Prophet, "I have ten children, but I have never
kissed any one of them." The Prophet said, "He who does not show mercy
(towards his children), no mercy would be shown to him" (Al-Bukhari).
Also, a Bedouin man asked the Prophet, "Do you kiss your sons?" The
Prophet replied, "Yes." The Bedouin said, "We do not." The Prophet said to
him, "What can I do for you if Allah has removed mercy from your heart?" (Al-
Bukhari).
"The best penny a man spends is that on his children, on his camel for the
sake of Allah, and on his friends for the sake of Allah."
Even in cases of divorce, fathers are asked to be fully responsible for their
children regarding food, clothing, schooling, and health expenses according
to the father's standard of life.
“Let the man of means spend according to his means: and the man
whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah
has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He
has given him. After a difficulty, Allah will soon grant relief.” (At-Talaq
65:7)
The Qur'an also states that children have the right to inherit from the day of
their birth.
Children are a blessing from Allah and to thank Allah for such a blessing,
parents should fulfill the duties Allah prescribed on them towards their
children.
Hadiths
Let's see what Prophet Muhammad said about parents in the
authentic Hadiths
Disobedience to parents is a major sin
One of the dearest deeds to God is being good & dutiful to parents
The fact that parents are advanced in age and are generally believed to
be more experienced does not by itself validate their views or certify their
standards. Similarly, youth per se is not the sole fountain of energy,
idealism, or wisdom.
The Quran sums up the whole question in the master concept of ‘Ihsaan’
(i.e. a strong sense of God-consciousness which constantly inclines a
believer toward piety) , which denotes what is right, good, and beautiful.
The practical implications of the concept of ‘ihsan’ to the parents entail
active empathy and patience, gratitude and compassion, respect for them
and prayers for their souls, honoring their legitimate commitments and
providing them with sincere counsel.
But the stricture ordained by Islam makes it clear that shrugging off the
responsibility of old parents serves as an invitation to Hell. Both the father
and mother are equal when it comes to caring for them and providing
them all possible physical comforts and mental peace. The time that the
parents need to be looked after most, is in their old age. To serve them
devotedly at that stage of their lives is the best way of pleasing Almighty
Allah. It is also one of the easiest ways of attaining Paradise. Abu
Hurairah, a companion of the holy Prophet, has said that "a person is
indeed disgraced, who does not earn Paradise by caring for his parents
during the life time and old age of his/her parents".
Asma bint Abu Bakr relates that her mother had come from Makkah to
Madinah to meet her. Her mother was not a Muslim and followed pagan
tribal customs and beliefs. Asma enquired from the holy Prophet how she
was supposed to treat her. The holy Prophet told her to be kind and
considerate and to behave towards her as was a mother's due from a
daughter. Obeying one's parents and treating them with respect and
affection is a great virtue and it serves as repentence for a person's sins.
Similarly, to ask Almighty Allah to have mercy on them after death is an
act that brings them comfort in their graves. It is the duty of sons and
daughters to pray for the forgiveness of their parents after their death
and treat their relatives and friends with due respect.