Brutal Planet: Garden Of Peace Series (Part 1)

A Commentary on Rabbi Shalom Arush's book The Garden of Peace: A Marital Guide for Men Only

The Most Important Mitzva

Know full well the most important thing in service to YHWH is shalom bayit Peace in the
Home
Why is this important? Because though it may sound PC the relationship we have
with our Creator is directly paralleled to the relationship we have with our
wives/girlfriends.
And truly I say to you, that anything that you bind on earth, will be bound in heaven, and
whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven (Matthew 18:18 AENT)
Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done. As in heaven so on earth (Matthew 6:10 AENT)
His breath goes forth, he returns to his dust; in that very day his thoughts perish (Psalm
146:19)
For, the foundations of the world, the hidden things of Elohim are seen by the mind in the
things he created even his eternal power and divinity, so that they might be without excuse
(Romans 1:20 AENT)

A common misconception is that attending to a wife's needs is a waste of time, especially

Torah-learning time. The opposite is true. Shalom bayit is a person's most important
mitzva, a barometer of his service to YHWH, his lifelong project, and his real test in life.
Shalom bayit is indeed Torah learning through application.

But, Rabbi I Wish to Remain Single....

YHWH punished Aaron's sons Nadav and Avihu because they did not take wives and
marry, even though they were according to the Zohar righteous men on the level of
Moses.
King Hezekiah, a pious and upright sage with the soul of a tzaddik, in who's merit all
of Israel learned Torah, received a Heavenly death sentence because he hadn't yet
taken a wife. The sentence was only rescinded when he quickly married Isaiah's
daughter.
Hashem God said, 'It is not good that man be alone; I will make him a helper corresponding
to him (Genesis 2:18 SET)

One's observance of Torah and attaining tikkun (repair), or correction of the soul can
only be achieved within the context of a marital relationship and a peaceful home.

In his earliest days, the Holy Celibate Shlit'a decided that his soul years for Torah. He
concluded that his best move would be to remain single and find a secluded house of study where he
could devote the days of his life to Torah and to Divine service. Soon the Holy Celibate Shlit'a
discovered a tiny clapboard synagogue in a rural village, far off the beaten track. He asked permission
from the local beadle to eat, drink and sleep within the confines of the synagogue, which also served as
the village house of study. He solemnly promised not to disturb a soul. The beadle agreed.
The Holy Celibate Shlit'a would quietly sit in the corner, learning day and night without
disturbance or interruption. He barely left the house of study. He limited his food intake to only a few
pieces of dried crusts of bread a day. Denying himself of anything he found enjoyable, he drank water
from the tap, and slept on a hard wooden bench. Days months and years then transpired in this matter,
until the fateful day when the beadle found the Holy Celibate Shlit'a lying lifelessly on the floor of the
synagogue.
The entire village escorted the Holy Celibate Shlit'a on the way to his final resting place. They
couldn't find adequate words to express his holiness. All the villagers were certain that such an
individual, totally withdrawn and aloof from anything mundane, was surely a great tzaddik.
In fact, the Holy Celibate Shlit'a agreed with the villagers; he was sure that he was a tzaddik of
lofty merits. And his soul ascended to the Heavenly Court, he was certain that he'd be greeted by an
honor guard of history's greatest tzaddikim playing lyres and cymbals, accompanied by a choir of
archangels singing in a six part harmony. He was positive that they would be escorting him to his
rightful station below the Heavenly Throne to bask in the sublime light of The Divine Presence.
The Holy Celibate Shlit'a suffered a horrifying shock of disappointment. No souls of the greak
tzaddikim arrived to greet him. He didn't have any angels playing music in his honor. All he saw were
the images of his parents and ancestors standing in front of him with dejected contention. Without any
further delay he was rushed off into the Heavenly Courtroom, where he stood before a tribunal of very
stern looking tzaddikim.
The Chief Justice opened up a large volume, the life story of the Holy Celibate Shlit'a. He
reviewed all of the Holy Celibate Shlit'a's mitzvot, and then addressed him by his first name, ignoring
the dignified title the Holy Celibate Shlit'a. The chief Justice said 'Yosske , you learned quite a bit of
Torah, you prayed, you made the necessary blessings, you put on tifillin daily and you wore tzitzit.
You observed Shabbat and the holy days and you fasted even more than required. In fact you have
done a good job of observing the mitzvot. There's a problem though with all your good deeds you
didn't complete the mission that you were supposed to complete in the physical world. You learned
Torah but you failed to implement what you learned. Had you married you would have seen how far
away you are from true Torah observance, for then, you would have had to invest much more effort to
fulfill each mitzvah
Casting a chastising glance at the shocked soul of the Holy Celibate Shlit'a, the chief Justice
added: Don't you know the entire purpose of learning Torah was to acquire emuna? The level of
emuna you attained is extremely inadequate. Had you married you, you'd been required to face a long
list of trials and tribulations with your wife. When she would have hindered your Torah learning with
her various demands, you would have failed the tests. Whenever she would have belittled or scolded
you, you'd have tarnished your soul with anger and complaining; only then would you have seen how
weak your emuna really is. You thought you trusted in YHWH, but you'd been faced with the
challenge of providing for a wife and children, you'd have seen just how frail your trust in YHWH

really is. Every time you'd have been faced with a financial problem, you would have sunk into a state
of depression and despair.
The charges were getting more seriousby the minute. But the chief Justice hadn't yet finished
his admonishment of the Holy Celibate Shlit'a: The minute you'd have earned some money, you'd
have developed a lust for money; then you would have forsaken the Torah while trying to make more
money. Trust in YHWH? You were far away from trust. Patience? You never received a test of
patience. Indeed, you are intrinsically full of anger and impatience. Good character? Had you
married, you'd have seen just how much you really needed to improve, for you never had to
compromise with, or give into, another person. Happiness? Maybe you see yourself as a happy
person, but had you married, you'd have seen how far you actually were from happiness, and even
more, how difficult it would have been to make your wife happy, while listening to her daily demands,
complaints and problems. And furthermore...
...If YHWH would have desired that you only fulfill the mitzvoth between Him and man, then
he wouldn't have sent your soul on a tour of duty to the lowly material world. Your mission down there
was to arrive at the awareness of YHWH and get to know Him; that can only be accomplished in the
material world as a married man with all the relevant trials and tribulations...
The Tribunal therefore concludes in the light of all the hard facts of your life that you failed
to fulfill the vast majority of the mitzvoth between man and fellow man. You never gave yourself to
another person; not have you surrendered your desires to the desires of another person. You have no
idea about the meaning of compromise. You've done nothing to uproot or even mitigate your innate
egotism.
The chief Justice and the Tribunal showed Yosske just how miserably he had failed. He utterly
failed to perform his tikkun. He was forced to realize just how badly he had failed to understand his
task in the world by failing to take a wife. If only he'd have married and raised a family, while striving
to build a peaceful home.