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Issue 926 - Weekly Thursday 29th January 1998
Students slam
Hazel Farm “There’s more to do in a prison” say residents
as new questionnaire results are revealed
Kevin Chan
n a distant suburb of Guildford, there is an
I enclave of students who live a life separate
from (or should that be “abandoned by”?) the
students and staff on campus. These students
(and I am one of them) are mainly comprised of
foreign students and postgraduates, the so-called
‘minorities’ which CEL consultants say the
union is neglecting. However in an unprecedent-
ed move, which many Hazel Farm residents felt
was much belated, the Union President and
accompanying union officers visited Hazel Farm
and sought out resident opinions. Many feed-
back forms were fed back to the Union and
many angry, apathetic, critical or downright furi-
ous feelings were voiced. Not all was bad how-
ever, and there were attempts by residents to see
the ‘silver lining’ (e.g. the Care-taker Nigel
Tostevin, was praised by many) and balance
comments on the fuming forms that had asked
for good and bad points; but undoubtedly the bad
outweighed the good as epitomised by one
respondent who altered the wording, preferring
the word ‘unsatisfactory’ to ‘GOOD’.
To give readers a flavour of living á la Hazel
Farm, here are a few and only a few complaints:
“In the rooms there are only bricks . . .doesn’t
look too good”, “Water pressure in the shower is
miserable”, “Why has it taken so long to get a
committee? Every other residence has them.
Campus favouritism!”, “Communal room must
be upgraded”, “What’s there to do. No bar. No
pool table. No Baths. No cleaners. No games.
Nothing. More activities available in prison!”,
“No coke machines or machines to get snacks”,
“We only have payphones, no internal phones”,
“Only 5 washing machines for all the people
here...” (actually there’s only 3 washing
A Caravan parked next to a Hazel Farm block on Tuesday. Residents are unsure which they’d rather live in machines and two dryers), “there is no security
Photo: Matt Pannell
News 1 n Features 3 n Letters 4 n Music 6 n Entertainments Guide 7 .
Cinema and Arts 8 n Union News 9 n Notices & Personals 9 n Sport 12 .
to protect our properties during day time and our
safety during night time”, “Why doesn’t the
laundrette take money? instead we have to hunt
down Mr. Tostevin for strange shaped tokens!”.
There are serious concerns, however, that affect
the hundreds of students that live at this remote
encampment. Different sized rooms but same
rent. The lack of facilities to improve the rigor-
mortis social atmosphere. The cost of taxis to
and from town due to a shortage of frequent
weekend transport. ACC telephones that take
two months to repair and don’t accept Mercury
or BT chargecards (my personal gripe).
But in comparison to all these problems men-
tioned, the apathy-inducing, Hazel-Farm-type
depression/isolation causal factor, the last straw
on the camel’s back, the riot-starting topic, the
number one kahuna of a problem in every resi-
dent’s bad books, is the issue of transport.
Namely, the lack of frequent buses during the
weekends; the lack of late-night buses on
Saturday night; the lack of frequent buses to
Tescos (the local shop’s range of goods is the
same as the corner-stores’ in a quiet suburb of a
small, debt-ridden, third-world country and as
one respondent said: “The frozen kebabs at the
corner store cannot be eaten 7 days a week”).
Come arctic gale, pouring rain, biting sleet, resi-
dents must wait in the open - where’s the
minibus/coach shelter? It may be argued that
financial cost prohibits transport improvements
but most students would be more than willing to
pay a little extra for more minibus runs and less
isolation.
Asked to comment on the students’ views,
Accomodation Manager Richard Paxton was
keen to read the suggestions for himself, but
accepted that life was “different” on Hazel Farm.
“Over the last five years, efforts have been made
to improve things”, he said. Until recently, it
Continued on page 2, column 3
ed980129.qxd 25/11/98 22:22
2 News
The news in brief
Nursing Crisis in NHS
The Royal College Of Nursing
warned this week that the profes-
sion is facing its most servre recruit-
ment problem for 25 years.
The NHS is lacking more than 8000
full time nurses and recruitment is
at an all-time low. The shortage of
experienced registered nurses has
raised concerns for standards of
“Ah, Butt” say tobacco firms
A group of lung cancer suffers, hop-
ing to get compensation from tobac-
co companies has become
embroiled in a secondary legal chal-
lenge.
Gallagher and Imperial
Tobacco claim that since the solici-
tors of the suffers are under a “no
Government off the Rails?
There is “worrying deterioration” of
Britain’s railways according to the
passenger watchdog. The Rail
Users’ Consultative Committee for
Eastern England said “recent per-
formances highlighted the wide dif-
ferences in quality of various rail
routes”. Committee chairman
Stweart Francis added “It is simply
not good enough for train compa-
nies and Railtrack to watch their
share price grow, charge the passen-
ger more and offer a worse service,”
Page 2 (1,1)
patient care. Kamran Loqueman,
Surrey Student Union Nurses
Liaison Officer, said that the short-
age of nurses is leading to efforts by
the government to cram nurses
through training courses.
James Buller
win, no fee” contract that they are in
fact the major plaintiffs. This would
make them responsible for the £9
million costs if they loose the case.
Senior judges are examining the
case which could decide the form of
all claims for damages in the UK.
James Buller
Meanwhile urgent efforts are under-
way by Deputy Prime Minister John
Prescot to save the Channel Tunnel
Rail Link. The company responsi-
ble for the project has not raised
enough cash and is now looking to
the stock market for funding. John
Prescott also pledged action on the
growing problem of cars on
Britain’s roads. He said traffic con-
gestion costs Britain more than £5
billion a year in lost revenue.
James Buller
Thursday 29th January 1998 n
Continued from page 1
seems, Hazel Farm residents had no
launderette, no common room, no
pillows, no toilet paper, and only
four buses a day to campus. “We
have an ongoing programme of
improvements, but we still need to
spend more money” he added. “We
need to get a bus shelter sorted out,
but for that we need to find £5-
6,000. It’s a question of balance:
which problems to tackle first.
Some of the probems out there are
down to the fact that it was built in
the 1970’s. But there are other
Unplugged play on...
Harriet Sims
ollowing the success of last
F semester, Unplugged brings
you the best in live entertain-
ment for the new year. We began the
semester on Tuesday of week 1 with
‘Jacob’s Tale’, an up - and - coming
local band of ex-Surrey students,
who played to an appreciative HRB
audience. ‘Calling Orson’ made a
welcome return to the stage as the
support band, as well as our
favourite bongo and organic music
society musicians. Watch out for
them all throughout the semester.
So what’s on? Coming up in week
3 is our first Students Acts (Floor
Singers) Night. This is your chance
to take centre stage and try out your
talents on a friendly and supportive
audience. For those of you who’ve
things that we are working to
improve.”
At the end of the day, why should
the majority of students enjoy the
inherent benfits of campus accomo-
dation such as security and suffi-
cient facilities, whilst other students
who are ‘dumped at the farm’, cope
with its lesser benefits when we are
all students of the same university?
Equal opportunities means equal
service.
There are many problems, some
minor and some definitely major,
but a committee must be organised
never come, I think you’d be sur-
prised by the musical talents we
have here and I hope you’ll drop in
to see your mates enjoying their
taste of stardom.
Anyone who is interested in playing
should turn up in the Helyn Rose
Bar by 6.45 pm to book their time
slot and do a sound check. Please
be on time, as the line-up works on
a ‘first come, first served’ basis and
we don’t like to disappoint! This is
the last chance to show off your act
before the talent competition heats.
Our first main event of the semes-
teris on Tuesday of Week 5 (17
Feb), featuring ‘Quietly Torn’, a
new band formed by ex-’The Cure’
guitarist, Porl Thompson. Watch
out for the biography and dodgy
publicity photo nearer the time!
and that is the responsibility of the
residents themselves (with help).
However university and accomoda-
tion must be willing to listen and
cooperate with such an unhappy
group of people. As someone wise
once said: “Responsibility lies not
only in what we do but often what
we neglect to do”.
Or as one less-wise resident said
“Basically, this place is sh*te......Oh
shit I’m out of room. I could go on
and on . . .”
Lastly, there is the Talent
Competition. This year, we are try-
ing to get as many people involved
as possible. No longer the ‘Band
Competition’, this year we want to
encourage actors, poets, jugglers
and magicians as well as musicians,
so get your thinking caps on. Don’t
worry if you’ve never even done
Karaoke before because we will be
organising microphone lessons
with stage crew for anyone who
wants guidance.
Entry forms will be available soon
from the Unplugged pigeon hole -
we’ll pass on more details as we get
them. The hears will be held on
Tuesday evenings of weeks 7, 8 and
9 with the final on Sunday of week
9. For now, though, get creative and
we’ll see you soon!
ed980129.qxd 25/11/98 22:22
n Thursday 29th January 1998
University of Surrey gets a ‘corporate’ makeover...
Andy Gale
group of consultants,
A employed to overhaul
Surrey’s somewhat bland
image, presented their recommen-
dations for a radical new visual
identity to University staff early this
semester.
Research conducted as part of its
catchily-named Vision 2010 and
beyond project convinced the
Senate that Surrey’s external image
was unclear, and in some cases
anonymous, so they charged
Pentagram Design Ltd with the task
of doing the un-doable and making
the University of Surrey seem excit-
ing.
At the presentation, the aim of
which was to prepare staff for
implementing the new image
‘should’ the Senate approve the
designs they had spent thousands of
pounds on, Pentagram employee
John Rushworth explained how the
best way forward for Surrey was to
adopt a ‘monolithic identity’, where
individual schools would be pre-
vented from having their own visual
identities. The main advantage of a
monolithic identity being that the
successses of each school would
then enhance the university’s over-
all reputation, rather than just its
own. Others have suggested that
support for a monolithic identity has
been swelled by Senate’s desire to
whip into line those departments
Page 3 (1,1)
John Rushworth, of Pentagram design, with the University’s proposed new ‘corporate’ logo
which like to act as though they are
somehow separate from the rest of
the University.
The proposed new image uses the
acronym UniS with the Daily Star
style big S acting as a ‘ visual hook’.
Central university publications
would feature a blue UniS logo, and
Photo: Matt Pannell
each school would be assigned its
own colour for the logo to replace
their existing designs. The
University of Surrey crest would
still feature on publications,
although significantly reduced, part-
ly to balance the design of the page,
and partly because no-one quite has
Features 3
the nerve to get rid of an image eign languages. The sticky issue of
which helps suggest that Surrey which school gets which colour is
isn’t one of these ex-polytechnic likely to produce a good number of
type of universities.
Concerned that, by stealing the let-
ter S for its UniS acronym Surrey
might make itself enemies with
fights, especially with some depart-
ments being redecorated in new
colours over the vacation. We watch
with interest....
Sussex, Southampton, Strathclyde,
and Staffordshire, Bare Facts con-
tacted these universities to ask them
their opinion on our new image. The
overwhelming response was that if
Surrey tried to get itself called
‘Uni-S’ then they may be a little
unhappy, but if, as seems likely, it
gets called ‘Eunice’ then they really
didn’t mind one bit - not least
because they weren’t concerned at
losing the chance to be named after
an old woman! Southampton point-
ed out that after changing their logo,
they started getting called the
‘Dolphin University’ - the idea of
Surrey being known as the
‘Grandma University’ being quite
interesting. Strathclyde’s warned
that, having implemented a major
image themselves, getting everyone
to stick to any new image is actual-
ly very difficult, with rogue divi-
sions trying to go their own way.
All the details are yet to be finalised,
and the decision to go ahead will
depend on the result of searches to
determine whether any other organ- Above: The BareFacts design
isations have a similar identity. experts are given a beer and give
Meanwhile, the consultants are hur- five minutes with Microsoft Word
riedly reading lots of foreign dictio- to come up with a new logo.....
naries to discover whether UniS has Think youcan do better? Then see
any embarrassing meanings in for- our competition below.
ed980129.qxd 25/11/98 22:22 Page 4 (1,1)
4 Letters/Editorial
Your Letters
Letter of the week -
4 cinema tickets await author
Dear Editor,
With reference to last weeks front page arti-
cle, please Stop The Press. I thought I’d write
and let you be the first to know of another
ground breaking new development on cam-
pus. A new building is to be erected. It will be
over 6.5 feet high, and cost £10, subject to the
possibility of cost over-runs, and is being con-
structed to house ‘a student’. It will be jointly
funded by a NatWest/Barclays Student over-
draft.
The greatly experienced firm of architects,
Crooked & Wonky have been employed, and
they will work in conjunction with Bodgit
Scarper & Leggit builders.
Concern has been expressed at possible delays
/ over-runs but the builders guarantee that
completion of the new building will run in
line with their previous high profile projects,
such as that started in 1906. This is yet to be
finished despite a completion of date of 1907,
but in their defence the builders do claim
extenuating circumstances. These include
problems regarding which floor they were
supposed to be on and also the fact that they
weren’t working to a lunar calendar.
Noise is not funny any more...
Dear Editor,
This only applies to a small minority. I don’t
want to write this letter but I’m going to have
to. I do not like being hauled up in front of
upset Guildford Residents and made to apolo-
gise on your behalf. I do not like getting
threatening messages on my answer phone
every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday morning
with complaints about noise, throwing up in
gardens, and damage to property. I do not like
walking up and down Walnut Tree Close from
10pm - 4am on Wednesday’s and asking you
Finley Quaye was ‘torture’...
Dear Editor,
After 18 months of consistently enjoying
FNOs, I have to say that the last two have
been a bit of a shambles, namely the
Christmas Ball and the first FNO of this
semester with Finley Quaye.
The Christmas Ball is a great idea and the stu-
dents involved put in a lot of hard work but in
no way was it worth the £15 charged. Now,
I’ll be the first to admit I had a storming night
but that was due to everyone being dressed
up, all my friends being there and the four
bottles of champagne I’d drank in a short
space of time. But, was it worth £15? Put
simply no, probably wasnt worth £10. I know
that a lot of people would be interested to see
EXACTLY where the £22,500 ticket money
went. The main event of the evening, Radio
1 DJ Dave Pierce, came and went with hardly
anyone noticing a change in the music.
Wouldn’t a band have been a better choice?
For most people the whole night would have
cost upwards of £45, without even thinking
about beer money. Students really can’t
afford this if all we get is a bit of snow, a few
sweets, a plastic reindeer and a giant Santa on
the roof! Dont we have a right to expect bet-
ter value for our money?
After a long Christmas break, I was looking
forward to nothing better than a good old
FNO. But no, I was shocked to see it would
Thursday 29th January 1998 n
The Green/Amnesty week
That said the builders are confident as to their
abilities. Also during the press release a sepa- special poetry corner
rate issue was raised; was there a possibility
of having locks put on the kitchen cupboards Everything alive
in some areas of University Court (preferably
the kitchen cupboard doors). Whilst cost was
obviously a concern to those involved, far Here on a planet,
There in a leaf,
exceeding the cost of the new project, the
issue was quickly side stepped, Hugh being Here in a coal mine, deep beneath,
Here in a tree,
unable to account for what has already been a
2 month delay. It appears there are some com- The Zen of Freedom There in a savannah,
Here in the air
plexities as this does involve some very diffi-
cult / precise engineering. A guard watches a prisoner That we (try to ) breathe.
within the barbed wire of the camp
We wait to see the outcome of what appears to
be two very interesting new projects. Here we are
Only the wind is free, which Abusing the environment or throwing litter
Your reporter with the facts that count
Blows on both their skins. And not feeling bitter;
Afraid to swim
Colin Griffiths
by Robin Shirley In a river, in a lake, a sea,
And it’s SO EASY,
P.S. this should in no way be construed as a
dig at the maintenance department who have Not to see
Everything apart from we, she, he and me
now taken in excess of 2 months to fit locks to
kitchen cupboards. They are of course very That everything is alive.
busy, and we as students do have limited
rights, and also have the benefit of paying by K.Y.Chan of Melodious
more than reasonable rents for which we
should expect no form of maintenance what-
soever. Join the Poetry Society - melodious - Wednesdays, Wates House, 3pm
Interviewers Needed for Students’ Union Survey
Earn £50 or more! As part of the ongoing Consultancy Review and
Development of the Union, the next stage is to do a huge student survey of
to be a little more considerate for the people opinion. We therefore need interviewers and are willing to pay to make
who have to live on the street. I do not like sure it’s done properly. You will attend a briefing session on the afternoon
being told by Guildford Borough Councillors
at Police Community Partnership Group
of Wednesday 11th February lasting approximately an hour and you will get
£5 there and then. Then you have a week to find up to 18 specific types of
meetings that students (or young people as students and ask them questions. You will recive £3 per interview conducted. It’s easy, it’s
they call them) are just drunk areseholes a bit of extra cash and we need 50 people. Email su-president, leave note in Union pigeon
because that’s not true - we just like to enjoy holes or even pop in and see me.
ourselves! Have a good night in town, live life Nevin ‘Bob’ Moledina - Students’ Union President
but please have some consideration - we live
in a small town where student behaviour is
frowned upon by some. We are a part of this
community and we do not want create a ‘town
versus students’ situation.
Nevin ‘Bob’ Moledina,
Students’ Union President
cost £6.50 to see the relatively unknown
Finley Quaye. Not only was it too expensive
in comparison to other bands who have
played here but its not the type music for a
FNO, especially the first one of the semester.
After reluctantly paying for my ticket, I
arrived at around 10.25pm to find the cloak-
room was full and now shut. Amazing con-
sidering the Union was only half full!
As for Finley Quaye, I’ve heard better perfor-
mances on a Sunday Night or at Unplugged
events (no offence meant at Unplugged). The
sound was poor quality and he put no effort
into his singing at all, even managing to play
the same song two or three times. Even after
the hour and a half of torture, the music then
played was more of a bad SHAG than the tra-
ditional FNO music.
FNOs are the best nights out at this uni and I
know that we have some great theme nights
coming up but special events need to be bet-
ter value for money. Maybe, its time the
Union re-thought its pricing policy and
remembered that we’re only students with a
limited disposable income.
If we’re going to fork out a large chunk of our
weekly budget for a special night out we
expect a bit more in return. This should be
kept in mind when the Union considers rais-
ing the price of the Charter Ball this year.
Mark Stuart
2nd Year Business Economics
ed980129.qxd 25/11/98 22:22 Page 5 (1,1)
n Thursday 29th January 1998
Amnesty group get VC’s
support
n Monday, the Student Union’s
O Amnesty and Green societies teamed
up to get ‘Green Week’ off to a start.
They persuaded the Vice Chancellor, Prof.
Patrick Dowling to sign a declaration, to be
forwarded to the United Nations. It said ‘ I
promise to do everything in my power to
ensure the rights set out in the Universal
Declaration of Human Rights become a reality
throughout the world’. Amnesty intend to
make the petition available to anyone wishin to
sign every Thursday for a month, starting this
lunchtime, in the Union. Amnesty supporters
cited the organisation’s own literature in
explaining the need for signatures....
“Fifty years ago, the world said ‘never again’
to the atrocities of the second world war. It
declared that all human beings, wherever they
live and whoever they are, have rights that
should be respected at all times. These rights
were set out in the Universal Declaration of
Human Rights proclaimed by the United
Nations on 10 December 1948.
The world’s governments said they would
respect these human rights and would teach
human rights in their schools. Businesses were
to be guided by human rights principles in
their dealings.
But fifty years later, the Universal Declaration
has been called “the world’s best kept secret”
- and, far from “never again”, war crimes and
genocide have been repeated in the former
Yougoslavia and Rwanda.
Far from respecting human rights, the govern-
Well, I thought so . . .
Alex Cass
eally I did. I looked at the clock and
R decided I was going to be late. Out of
the bathroom in record time (okay, so I
was still ages), dressed, only halfway through
breakfast did I look at my watch. It was twenty
to five and I was definitely not late. It’s pretty
easy to be totally convinced and totally wrong.
Believing something isn’t enough. The thing
that you believe needs to be true. The Bible
says “ by grace are ye saved, through faith”.
What it means is that God doesn’t forgive
people just for believing that he exists, the
High Hopes Entering the
Game
Philip Hawtin
n thursday, the chess team played Fleet
O B. We had high hopes entering the
game, after all they were second to last
in the league (guess who are propping up the
bottom).
The first result of the evening was an unfortu-
nate defeat for Juan on board 5.
Next was myself on board 4, where there was
an epic struggle (sort of) which only ended
after I foolishly trapped my own queen amoung
my own pawns, 2-0 to Fleet. Then the tide
began to turn, despite the oppenant having a
pawn one square away from queening, Danial
was able to combine his bishops and queen in a
Vice Chancellor Prof. Patrick Dowling signs the
Amnesty declaration on Monday
ments have treated them with contempt. Half
the world’s governments still imprison people
solely because of their beliefs, race, gender or
ethnic origin. A third of the world’s govern-
ments still torture their prisoners.
After five decades, it is time for individuals
across the world to reclaim their rights and
press governments to meet the promises made
in 1948.
Join Amnesty International’s worldwide cam-
paign to make governments sit up and listen.
Get up and sign up for your human rights.”
forgiveness comes from trusting that Jesus
took the punishments we deserve. That’s the
grace bit - “undeserved mercy”.
And I do believe that. Why? Well, the Bible is
full of God’s promises and I’ve not seen one
broken yet. To be honest, the more I learn the
more sense it makes - there’s no way anyone
could meet God’s standards unless they were
perfect, so he had to meet them for us.
By the way, if you’re intrigued about the
promises -and there are loads- then email me
and I’ll send you some! - ce62ac.
deadly attack ton win. Riza on bored two dis-
pacted his oppenent in only 26 moves, 8 of
which were with his Knight. Two all with one
game to play, anything could happen. As the
time limit aproached, Gian Carlos still had all
his pawns and two rooks against six pawns and
two rooks, it was looking good. Unfortuatly,
the time ran out, so they are having to arrange
a continuation of the match at a later date, so
the result still hangs in the balence, but it does
look like we might actually achieve our first
victory of the season.
After the opposing team left, we looked at the
game on the computer, and it looks like an
overwelming victory for Gian Carlos.
A final score will be given as soon as possible.
Features 5
Union Club - what’s new for ‘98
Nevin ‘Bob’ Moledina
Union President
Citrus - swing, soul and hip hop night has
moved down to the Helyn Rose Bar this
semester and will take place once every four
and Club Chairperson
ep, more sensible signing in policies
weeks and we also have a new feature - Funk
Night in the Helyn Rose Bar also once every
Y at last. You can now sign your
guests into the Union up until
10.30pm from Monday to Thursday and
four weeks - beginning in Week 3 (Thursday
5th February 8pm - 2am). The Helyn Rose
Bar remains available to societies for book-
ing every alternate Thursday.
Saturday, 10pm on Sunday and the usual
7pm on Friday’s. No you can’t sign in over
The Promo Bar will be continued from
the phone anymore but then who needs to Friday to Saturday’s SHAG and we will also
when you’ve got until 10/10.30pm and for
be regularly covering great sporting events in
Friday Night Out’s you have to purchase the Union such as Rugby Five Nations with
guest tickets in advance anyway. Industrial
Carling Premier on promotion for £1 a pint.
year, life members and EIHMS students Look for the A2 weekly bulletins around the
based at satellite sites can sign in over the
building and in the Lecture Theatre
phone for a Friday Night Out since they Noticeboard to find out what’s happening on
make it to campus during the day. a week to week basis.
Clubs and societies can now sell tickets
We’re also thinking about getting cushions
through the Union ticket machine and can on the wooden benches in Lounge Bar area
collect the form for this from the General
(at last I hear you cry - they’re bloody
Office. The ticket machine will be manned uncomfortable aren’t they?). However
at lunch times so if you’re having an event,
there’s a problem - it’s going to cost app. £3-
you can advertise that tickets will be on sale £5000 and they’ll probably get trashed by the
every weekday lunch time from the Box
end of the year. Or would they? What do you
Office and we will cash up and put the
think?
money into your specified account. (Ticket
machine forms will also be given out with
If you’re interested in discussing any Club
the Helyn Rose Bar booking forms)
issues please come along to the Club
Committee every other Wednesday at 1pm in
Fruit and veg stall in the Union every the Grant Mitchell Room or fill in a Union
Thursday, thanks to a helpful student who
suggestion slip and it will passed onto the
has talked to some traders and persuaded
Committee. Nice one!
them to come in. If you know any market
traders that would want to come in, tell them
to give us a call.
ed980129.qxd 25/11/98 22:22
6 Music
SINGLES
RIALTO - Untouchable (EastWest)
Usually it would be really difficult to enjoy
a song which opens with the line If you
were an angel / I would cut off your wings,
without having some dubious thoughts
about devil worshipping. This however
doesn’t influence how amazing Untouchable
is, and how everyone should go and see
them live to pay them some credit. 9/10
D.N.
GLITTERBOX - Scared Of All The
World (Radar)
Glitterbox successfully manage to mix the
epic-subtlety of the modern day Manics
with the melodic power and aggression of
the Afghan Whigs. This single is quite
excellent. 8/10 R.W.
SOUNDS OF BLACKNESS - The
Pressure (A&M)
This CD features the re-release of a classic
dance floor hit, ‘The Pressure’, backed with
‘Hold on (Change is Coming)’, recently
released in the U.S. Jazz and Groove meet
rousing r&b beats to make this a funky sin-
gle that will take the club scene by storm.
8/10 G.C.
SINGLE OF THE WEEK
BENNET - The Horses Mouth (Roadrunner)
A mid tempo rock epic from the previously quirky indie guitar foursome. The
huge chorus is supported by slow quiet verses, which combine to build up some-
thing altogether grander than anything Bennet have attempted before. If this does-
n’t put them back in the charts nothing will. 9/10 A.T.
HEADSWIM - Tourniquet (Epic)
You could be forgiven for thinking that this
was a new Radiohead thinking, the former
grunge/metal types have certainly reinvent-
ed themselves for the better. A melancholic
vibe pervades throughout. 7/10 R.W.
WARM JETS - Never Never (Island)
Re-recorded and re-released power pop
carving itself straight into your concourses
through a frenzied cocktail of fuzzy guitars
and reluctant but purposeful vocals.
Lyrically either beautifully cryptic or shit.
Credibility at stake due to Zoe Ball’s
involvement. 7/10 D.J.
FOO FIGHTERS - My Hero (Roswell)
Supposedly a tribute to Kurt, on ‘My Hero’
the Foo Fighters mix razor sharp guitar lines
with a huge Cheap Trick-like chorus. The
extra songs include a multimedia selection
of photo stills and videos and a quite stun-
ning cover of Gerry Rafferty’s ‘Baker
Street’. 7/10 R.W.
SNUG - Ode To The Day (WEA)
For those of you who enjoy the happy-go-
lucky thrash pop of bands like Ash and
Symposium, Snug are going to be the next
big thing. However those who prefer music
on a more serious note will not enjoy this
and would probably rather sit in a dark
room listening to Smiths records. 7/10 D.N.
This weeks music bought to you by
Matthew Beal, Daniel Jones,
Frank Fraulo, Emma Clarke,
Honey Butcher, Nick Walsh,
Gabriel-Oliver Chamero,
Denise Nicholson, Dean Arif,
Kevin Marston, Christian Hunter,
Ian Purvey , Andrew Thomas,
Gemma Decent, Rob Winder
Page 6 (1,1)
CHUMBAWAMBA - Amnesia (EMI)
A good dance number, even if it has been
remixed to death. No two mixes sound too
similar, with some more melodic and others
seeming almost techno. The single version
is different from the album version, so it is
still worth getting if you do have the
‘Tubthumper’ album. 7/10 E.C.
MUKI - Shine (Mantra)
‘Shine’, ‘Ki Juice’ and ‘Nite Lite’ are the
three songs on this latest CD. The songs
have been finely produced to ensure quality
acid jazz. The cosmopolitan sounding slow
banging tunes are mellow but definitely not
dull. A good single if you want to “chill
out” to some groovy sampling. 6/10 C.H.
KILLAH PRIEST - One Step (Geffen)
A smooth track with heavenly harmonies
combined with a deep and meaningful lyri-
cal base, which expresses the need to know
one’s history before you can look at the
future. 6/10 K.M
ADAM F - Music In My Mind (EMI)
This follow up from ‘Circles’ is one of the
better tracks from the album ‘Colours’ but
doesn’t live up to ‘Circles’. This will do
well, but it is not inspiring or brilliant. 5/10
G.D.
MERZ - Many Weathers Apart (Lotus)
Unfortunately this sounds a lot like some-
one who’s drunk too much and can’t sing
trying to do extremely bad Karaoke to a
crap remix version of something by Prodigy
which their mate is hammering out on a
childs keyboard. Original... maybe, shit...
definitely. 4/10 D.N.
BLACK CONNECTION - Give Me
Rhythm (Xtravaganza)
If anything is going to make me lose faith in
Xtravaganza, this is. The mixes are very
samey and don’t explore the various aspects
of house/garage that they could; the track
itself is boring and the vocals aren’t any-
thing to write home about either. Bring back
Chicane, Disco Citizens and Armin. Get rid
of this right now, Xtravaganza. 3/10 M.B.
DEFINITION OF SOUND - Oustider
(Universal)
Thrown back into the hey day of rave and
brief and cheesy spot the sample recordings,
then made worse by the b-side techno bob-
bins, recorded in a drainpipe about 10 years
ago. Horrid cheesy quaver gubbins. 2/10
H.B.
DON CABALLERO - Trey Dog’s Acid
(Touch And Go)
At its best this piece of lyricless guitars
sounds like Deus or Mogwai on a very, very
bad day. As it is it is dull and uninspiring.
2/10 I.P.
UNITED CITIZEN FEDERATION -
Starship Troopers (Universal)
What a load of tosh, there has never been a
worse load of crap ever recorded. Whats
worse is that Sarah Brightman sounds like
she has forgotten the english language. 1/10
F.F.
ALBUMS
ALBUM OF
THE WEEK
V/A - Reactivate Classics (React)
Well, well. It's about time that React
complied an album from the 20 or so
they have released since day one of the
rave generation. This album takes us
on a musical journey through 6 years
of techno mayhem, from the original
acid cuts to up-to-date techno stom-
pers. Artists featured are CJ Bolland
along with some names many of you
will recollect from "back in the days"
when raves were illegal, and ware-
houses were the usual places to go rav-
ing. If you like the old stuff, then the
first CD takes you from '89 through to
'92. Filled with classics, this is bound
to set off the mood. If you prefer it
newer, then the second CD has all you
need. Brilliant choons including the
original "Age Of Love". This compi-
lation is filled with the best of
Techno/Trance and Nu Wave. Don't let
this one slip by unnoticed, because if
you do, you've seriously missed out!
9/10 M.B.
AIR - Moon Safari (Virgin)
Air are a French duo, who make an ‘out
there, soundtracks to our dreams’ sort of
thing. They’re on a similar wavelength to
Stereolab, yet sometimes being an easy lis-
tening version of Daft Punk. The music they
make is largely instrumental, but the press
release isn’t lying for once when it describes
it’s product as ‘a diffuse, poetic, post-club
ambience which takes from the sound tracks
of Enio Morricone and John Barry, French
kitsch, the classical sublime, the loop struc-
tures of Electronica and the poignancy of
pop’. We’re talking sonic cathedrals here,
especially on many tracks like the opener
‘Le Femme D’Argent’ and ‘Kelly Watch
The Stars’. As they use real instruments and
they don’t use samples when listening; some
names spring to mind: ELO, Burt
Bacharach, some instrumental Beach Boys
tracks, but with the use of repetitive beats
its all been re-packaged, re-evaluated for
hear and now. 8/10 N.W.
DEEP FOREST III - Comparsa (Sony)
After a successful sale of 3 million albums
across the world, Deep Forest made a come-
back with their third album ‘Comparsa’ -
which means ‘partners’ in Cuban and this is
an apt title since it carries a Latin-African
UMAJETS - Demolotion (Clearspot)
Umajets are Tim Smith, ex-Jellyfish, and Rob Aldridge, ex-
Holyfaith, and on this their debut album they are joined by
Roger Manning, also ex-Jellyfish, and allegedly a couple of
Black Crowes. Thankfully the sound of Umajets is not unlike
Jellyfish, guitar and keyboard led pop with sugary hooks, pow-
erful arrangements and swoon-worthy harmonies. Oh, and
great songs. ‘Half Man Half Wrecking Ball’ kicks things off in
a suitably up-tempo fashion, ‘Mother’ certainly owes its roots
to the Beatles, but the highlights of the album are ‘Girl Named
God’ and ‘Skywriting’. Hopefully this album will bring the
band the success Jellyfish so richly deserved but never
achieved. 8/10 R.W.
Thursday 29th January 1998 n
KRISTIN HERSH
- Strange Angels
(4AD)
This is Kristin’s sec-
ond solo album and
first after the split of
the Throwing
Muses. First thing to
note about this
album is that it is an
acoustic affair. This
does unfortunately
mean that all the
songs sound alike
but that is not to say
that they all flow
into each other.
Kristin’s voice is a
powerful instrument
and it actually could
make me wince at
times whilst listen-
ing. The album over
all sounds quite bit-
ter but the lyrics are
not always. ‘Like
You’ is one of the
best tracks on the album, it is incredibly loud in places which makes you appreci-
ate that electric guitars are not required. This isn’t as upbeat as the Throwing
Muses and not quite as good but still a good second album. 8/10 I.P.
groove. The musical duo behind Deep the third Halo Benders album out of his
Forest are Eric Mouquet and Michel Dub Narcotic studio somewhere in
Sanchez. They are sound reporters drawing Olympia. It sees a continuance of great
on voices from every corner of the world. songs with weird off-kilter punk-pop sound-
Hymns of joy and cries of anger, prayer and scapes. Melodic guitars are layered with
aubades, songs of hope and despair have all various synthesised sounds. ‘Devil City
been brought to shake our certainties, seize Destiny’ is kinda like Nirvana on a bizarre
our senses and stir our emotions. From trip, while ‘Love Travels Faster’ is a simply
Africa or Eastern Europe, from pygmies to beautiful song. Strange but enjoyable. 7/10
nomads, the human visions brought to us by R.W.
Deep Forest have helped greatly in narrow-
ing the gap between the hemispheres. As is L/A/L - #1 U.S.A. (K)
their custom, Deep Forest will contribute a Love As Laughter is a new breed of bleed-
share of the album’s royalties to providing ing gums rock ‘n’ roll that has no equal in
aid for the countries in question. Deep time. #1 U.S.A. is what’s happening with
Forest have not only invented a sound dif- L/A/L in 1998, the rock ‘n’ roll record Mick
ferent from any other, they have also created Jagger has privately admitted he’d made. In
a language. 8/10 D.A. most of the songs, the guitar is raspy, the
vocals bleed like a new shirt in the wash,
THE WORLD / INFERNO FRIEND- and the bass is a dimly felt presence. A few
SHIP SOCIETY - The True Story Of The tunes have ‘kicker beats’, but the disc is still
Bridgewater Astral League (Gern mostly percussionless. When you listen to
Blandsten) #1 U.S.A., you will play it loud, and the
Although the name of the band, or album resulting turmoil will cause you to behave
wouldn’t usually be the first thing to spring with rampant teen abandon. You will skip
to mind. I cant help but like this album, school and not give a damn about how it’ll
especially as it meanders through 8 songs look on your permanent record. You will
whose style varies so much between each catch slow blues fever and fail your next
one, but sticks to one basic paradigm, that drug test. This album is the noisy rockin’
of Punk. Its not even the new wave of so counter culture soundtrack for a century’s
called punk bands which seem to be invad- end. 7/10 D.A.
ing our shores from America, but true, full
blown eat-your- CRAIG ARMSTRONG - The Distance
own-bollocks Between Us (Virgin)
PUNK. Just imag- Great album if you are a fan of light
ine the brass instru- pop/classical music. This guy has a very
ment frenzy of impressive CV which includes the sound-
Madness, com- tracks of ‘Romeo and Juliet’, ‘Goldeneye’,
bined at times with ‘Mission Impossible and ‘Batman Forever’.
the full on three In his time Craig has worked with such var-
chord thrash of ied artists as Madonna and Suede and he is
Crass, vocals simi- just as good on his own (as this CD proves).
lar to John Lydon, Craig is able to write music in many differ-
(although more Pil ent styles. This CD is mainly easy listening
than the Sex and makes lovely background music. It
Pistols), and even a could even be described as romantic in
touch of Minty some places. The vocals are few in number
thrown in for good and sound vaguely similar to ‘Perfect Day’
measure. If you can and Jimmy Nail - not that that is a problem.
imagine this then 7/10 G.T.
you will still prob-
ably not even be STELLA/US – Ascension (Beggars
close to what the Banquet)
World / Inferno A uniquely American music with dense
Friendship Society sonic landscape created by these North
actually sound like, Carolina-based foursome. Stella confronts
but it was probably and compels. Melodic edges and intense
fun trying. 8/10 vocals are woven into songs populated by
D.N. explosively raw guitar and tightly focused
songwriting. The vocal, Curt Perkins pro-
HALO BENDERS vides an affecting vehicle for his lyrics
- The Rebels Not which range from confessional narratives to
In (K) cryptic mediations on anger, politics and
K records main hope. ‘Ascension’ is a sheerly stunning col-
man Calvin lection of fuzzed-out oddities: songs that
Johnson is joined sound more basic than base, like they’d be
by various mem- way underground on the Sci Li wall system,
bers of Built to riff-rock rampage… two-piece wild beast of
Spill and Pacific fuzztone squeal, a volume soaked bullet of
Northwest produc- Stooges/Blue Cheer mutated lo-fi whup ass.
tion maestro Steve Helping rock evolve by keeping it unhinged,
Fisk as he brings Stella is a tough act to follow. 6/10 D.A.
ed980129.qxd 25/11/98 22:22 Page 7 (1,1)

n Thursday 29th January Entertainments Guide 7

GIG GUIDE
It is always advisable to confirm with the
venue before travelling. Cineline - (01483) 578017

Chumbawamba - Portsmouth Pyramid Friday - Saturday

22:05 Game On Centre (01705 358608)
Saturday Friday Thursday Wednesday Tuesday Monday Sunday Saturday Friday

Titanic, 12
30th

Green Day - London Brixton Academy 12:10, 12:55, 16:15, 16:55, 20:20,
(0171 264 1525)
21:00
20:00 Fortean TV Rubberfoot, Lupa, Soda Curve -
Reading Alleycat (0118 956 1116) Home Alone 3, PG
Shelter - London Camden Barfly (0171 12:45
482 4808) Devil’s Advocate, 18
22:50 La Femme Nikita
15:15, 18:30, 21:50
Boogie Nights, 18
21:00 Denis Norden’s PICK Midget, Glitterbox, Idlewild -
13:45, 17:45, 21:20
OF THE
Laughter File London Garage(0171 607818)
WEEK Tomorrow Never Dies, 12
31st

22:00 Toy Soldiers 15:45, 18:40, 21:30

Green Day - London Brixton Academy
(0171 264 1525) Spiceworld: The Movie, PG
Inter, Dick Savage PI - Basingstoke 12:15, 14:25, 16:35
18:30 Titanic: The Fairfield Arts Centre The Jackal, 18
Survivors Story Period Pains, Everboom, Keanie - 19:20, 22:10
Reading Alleycat (0118 956 1116) The Full Monty, 15
14:45, 19:35
19:10 Star Trek Picture Perfect, PG
Generations IN Dust Junkys - 12:10, 14:35, 17:05, 21:40
YOUR
UNION Guildford, Surrey University
The Borrowers, U
1st

12:15 The Simpsons 12:15, 14:20

Slump with Paul Thomas - Reading
Alleycat (0118 956 1116) Up ‘N’ Under, 12
22:00 Fitz 16:25, 18:50, 21:20
The Wings of The Dove, 15
13:00, 16:00
Starship Troopers, 15
21:30 Pleasure Beach 19:00, 22:00
Shooting Fish, 12
2nd

Mary Stares, Punkin Instigators, Wednesday Only, 13:00, 15:30, 18:00,

22:40 Fitz Daybreak - Reading Alleycat 20:30
14:00 Beauty & The (0118 956 1116)
Beast
Sunday - Thursday
Titanic, 12
11:20, 15:20, 19:25
20:00 The Cruise Home Alone 3, PG
Mogwai, Ariel M - Portsmouth
Wedgewood Rooms (01705 863911) 13:15
Pure Glass, Ventalin, New Rising Sun Devil’s Advocate, 18
3rd

21:00 Mc Callum - Reading Alleycat (0118 956 1116) 13:30, 16:50, 20:05
Boogie Nights, 18
13:00, 16:30, 19:55
20:00 Shop till you drop George of the Jungle, U
12:30
Tomorrow Never Dies, 12
22:00 The X-Files 12:15, 15:00, 17:45, 20:35
Caffeine - London Borderline (0171 734
22:45 Prostitute 2095)
Spiceworld: The Movie, PG
Cardinal Fink, Grouch, Fallen Angel - 12:30, 14:45
4th

London Upstairs At The Garage (0171 The Jackal, 18

607 1818) 17:00, 20:25
21:00 ER Space - London Shepherds Bush Empire The Full Monty, 15
22:30 Friends (0171 287 1331) 18:35
Picture Perfect, PG
13:15, 16:05, 20:45
18:00 Star Trek Deep The Borrowers, U
Space Nine Catatonia, Derrero - London Camden 12:10, 14:05
20:30 Jeremy Clarkson’s Electric Ballroom (0171 485 9006) Up ‘N’ Under, 12
5th

Mean Machines McQueen, Llama Farmers - London 13:10, 16:05, 18:25, 20:45
Garage (0171 607 1818) The Wings of The Dove, 15
14:20 Chef School The Hamsters - Reading Alleycat (0118
12:15, 14:45
21:00 The Truth About 956 1116)
Starship Troopers, 15
Women... 17:15, 20:15
21:30 Mortimer’s Law
Bennet, Redwood, Jaguar, Inter -
Aldershot Princes Hall
6th

Disco Pistol, Spillage - London Kings

22:05 Game On Cross Water Rats (0171 837 7269)
Pitchshifter, FPC, Choke - Reading
18:00/23:35 TFI Friday Alleycat (0118 956 1116)
22:00 Frasier

Union Club opening hours There is a film, honest, but the

A, Understand - Reading Alleycat (0118
Every weekday: guys at OFU don’t know what
956 1116)
7pm-midnight Pizza + Dubstar - London Shepherds Bush it will be yet.
7th

Helyn Rose Bar Breakfast 8:30-11am
Helyn Rose Bar Lunch 12-2pm
Hari’s Bar (drink & snacks) 11am-7pm
Chancellor’s lunch 12-2pm
Chancellor’s afternoon tea 2:30-5pm
Empire (0171 287 1331) Suggestions on a postcard, or
McQueen, Llama Farmers - London if you want to decide the film
Fulham King’s Head yourself please come on
Monkey Mafia - London Adrenalin Tuesdays to LTH at 6pm.
Village
ed980129.qxd 25/11/98 22:23 Page 8 (1,1)

8 Cinema and Arts Thursday 29th January 1998 n

CAMPAG VELOCET
Union 25/1/98. Review and Interview by Nick Walsh
ampag Velocet are a four piece from
Ago Go could ever be. They are still
Titanic(12)
Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet
ever work live? If you compare your
favourite gig, say of any guitar band, with a
gig of any dance band, then guitar bands
win hands down, every time. But now, as
this is 1998 what is a dance band? What is a
guitar band? The only thing we have to go
on is the attitude, and sometimes that is all
that we need. Campag Velocet, your stan-
dard layman has never heard of them, but
underground, they have been carving quite a
reputation for themselves, with the movers
and shakers of London town.
Live, yeah, they just pull it off, but certain
things are against them, such as the dreadful
sound quality, where the band can only just
hear themselves, but not each other. Also
the hard-nosed provincialism and narrow
mindedness, which is present here is just
sad. The only bands, which can get a decent
reception, are cover bands and mainstream size model that were built. It is diffi-
dance bands, making this university’s Rob & Duncan cult to fault the film with the our
Student Union a blacklisted area for new

C Kentish Town in London, where all unsigned, but every major is after them and talent. Opening with an instrumental, the only criticism being the overuse of

around its possible to soak in
through the alleyways and the tower blocks
the sounds of hip-hop, techno, dub and punk
rock. They formed in 1993 when Pete, the
singer/rapper/lyrical mastermind got togeth-
er with Barney, bass player and a drum
machine, they began, laying the foundations
and then old mate, Arge (guitar) joined, then
recently after six drummers then settled with
Lascelles. On paper, if you are going to start
a band, and the bands that have influenced
you play a big part in what you do, then you
can’t get many better influences then the
ones Campag are prepared to namecheck:
MC5, Stooges, My Bloody Valentine, Public
Enemy, Jesus and Mary Chain, Pistols, Sly
and The Family Stone. Definitely the music
they are making is unique coming from their
own angle, updated for the present.
To lump them in with the present ‘scene’
created by journalists called Skunk Rock,
yeah, they are rock 'n' roll, yeah, drugs do
come into it, but they are more of a classic
rock band than the Lo-Fi Allstars or Bedlam
FINLEY QUAYE
Union 23/1/98. Review by Al Mooney
“
at the moment the deals just aren’t good opening tester to see what’s happening It’s been 84 years, and I can still strobe effects in some scenes.
enough. The name comes from explains called ‘Let Your Hair Down’ a mixture of remember the fresh smell of the The film starts in the present day as
Pete “Campag is short for Campanolo which baggy, punk, hip-hop. When the man, Pete paint. The china had never a salvage crew attempt to recover a
is the top name in the cycling world – it’s Voss, starts spewing forth, street slang, per- been used. The sheets had never
the cream so Campag means it’s shit hot, the ceptive observations, you can’t literally diamond necklace known as the
Velocet is from ‘Clockwork Orange’ it’s the understand him, but you know his inten- been slept in. Titanic was called the “Heart of the Ocean”. When an old
name of one of the drinks they have in the tions, beating the shit out of his tambourine, Ship of Dreams and it was. It really lady steps forward, claiming to have
Korova milk bar”. The slang used in you know what he is about. On ‘Vito Satan’ was.” The film, like the ship itself is been one of the passengers on the ill-
‘Clockwork Orange’ is evident everywhere a slower song emphasising the fact that the certainly impressive. Directed by
in their music, in their limited edition band can actually write, if your conditioned
fated voyage, she tells a captivated
on songs, 3 minutes, verse, chorus, middle
James Cameron and staring crew, lead by Brock Lovett (Paxton),
‘Drencrum Velocet Synthamesc’ it’s like a
brand new language, but your not told, it’s eight, break fade then you wouldn’t have Leonardo Dicaprio and Kate her story of the voyage. As she
your job to find out. understood. The final song ‘Drencrom Winslet, it cost over 200 million dol- relates her experiences the film goes
A new single is out is due out in March, but Velocet Synthamesc’ is just pure head lars to make and runs for just over back in time following her on the ill
the band aren’t bothered whether they get music, obviously under the right conditions, three hours (cut down from an origi-
massive or not, they just know that they because this music isn’t really coming from fated maiden voyage. As 17 year old
have their, own exclusive niche and no one the place where its being received, it’s the nal 4 hours!). Claimed to be unsink- Rose, she is trapped in a frightfully
else can touch them because no else has best song in the world, thumping, hard hit- able, we all know that the ship itself upper class existence in the ships
been brought up with ‘the funk’. In the ting, melodic, relevant, challenging, if you did not meet these bold claims so first class community with a mother
Union on Sunday night people really didn’t are bothered to find out, it’s London where how does the film fare on the stormy
know what do expect, but it’s always best to it’s from, and it’s London where it’s at, the insistent on keeping up appearances
start from before the beginning, being into best new band in Britain was here, and in a
seas of the cinema going public? and a fiancée who is nothing but
dance music all your life, anything but your relatively short time, it’s all going to be dif- We both liked this film and, despite downright arrogant and possessive.
standard indie/rock outfit, does dance music ferent. its length, there was never a dull In a moment of despair she meets
moment. The film seamlessly Jack Dawson, a ‘ruffian’ from third
blends romance along with some
excellent special effects and action
class who won tickets for the cruise
in a game of cards, and discovers
scenes. that with him she can escape all of
was a rare opportunity, to see an artist of this calibre in a The romance is powerful and mov- the pretentious first class snobbery
small and personal venue for six quid, and the atmosphere in ing and the action has you on the and bickering. Needless to say they
that union was unlike any night I have ever known there, edge of the seat. It takes an hour and fall in love and have an affair, in lit-
with the conceivable exception of Dreadzone (let’s have a half before the iceberg is seen, and tle knowledge of what is to happen at
them again please.) It was more chilled, people were smiling a further hour (almost real time) for 2:20am on that night.
all the time, there was, for once, a genuine cultural diversity, the ship to sink, but the plot never This is a very strong and powerful
not because there are signs up saying we respect all colours drags and is always captivating. The film, well worth seeing, and already
and creeds, but quite simply due to the universal power of attention to detail is superb; even to
Finley Quaye’s music. Which, incidentally, is what I’m sup- a strong tip for the Oscars this year
the point that Cameron called in the (It has already won 4 Golden Globe
posed to be talking about.
Okay, so it was a very sketchy start indeed. The same two
companies that originally fitted the awards). Definitely one to watch!
guitar chords being played over and over again was what I Titanic, to construct the sets and life-
heard as I made my way towards the stage, and to then see
that cute little man shouting ‘turn the reverb up, man’ to the
sound guy was disconcerting to say the least. But, after a
The Jackal(18)
minute or two of feedback and bizarre fart noises (must be a flame, the new love interest,
really tough job, turning up reverb) it was sorted, and we Tania Rocks Valentina Koslova (Diane Venora),
could all settle down to some music. Finley and the band and the close shave with the Jackal.

ell, what a year this is turning out to be. If some-
T
(comprising bass, guitar, drums, sax, trombone, trumpet, and his is a film based on a film
All of this and the sub plot of the hit,
tabbla) didn’t just stick to tracks from the album, in fact the (The day of the Jackal, 1973
for which a huge gun is required.
first five or six songs appeared to be all new, though I’m thriller) which is based on the
sure someone will correct me there. And then there was a
It is hard to explain anything else
life of a real live terrorist, Carlos the
fantastic rendition of ‘It’s Great When We’re Together’ about the plot without having to
Jackal. The Jackal, the man with no
which suffered not one bit from the lack of real strings, and explain the background behind it.
known identity, is played by Bruce
a gorgeous (or should that be garjuss?) ‘Sweet And Loving Needless to say, the IRA terrorist is
Willis, and is a killer who noone can
Man’. Aah, I bet he is too. The most odd thing about the set not helping the FBI out of the good-
catch due to his variety of disguises.
was surely the minor key dubbed up ‘Even After All’, which ness of his heart, but because of a
was extremely cool indeed, but I have to say that I was The disguises comprise of a number
hinted at past which he and the
secretly hoping they’d play the nice mellow version too. of wigs and a few passports. Lost
Jackal shared, but this seems to get
There’s not much to say about ‘Sunday Shining’ except how touch with reality yet?

W one had told you last year that The Lightning

Seeds would be appearing in your own tiny little
Union for less than a tenner, your reaction may well have
nice it was that he’s not too cool to play it and also that they
played it very bloody well indeed. We even got an encore!
There go the ‘always too stoned to sing’ rumours that were
The film starts with a raid on a club
going wrong for the FBI (Sidney
Poitier) and the Jackal being paid a
lost in the blow’em up attitude of the
plot. The end has a few good twists
in it, but you wonder why they could
not just post an artists impression of
been something along the lines of ‘good lord my man, are going round then. hideous amount of money to kill an
you quite mad?’, or possibly even ‘yeah, bollocks mate.’ But So and so, one of the best nights in the union ever then. It’s him around, and why Willis can get
unidentified individual. Then in
duly, they arrived. And then at the end of a long, hard first amazing that it wasn’t very busy, I mean I have to worry away with playing Willis in different
comes the IRA terrorist (Richard
term, when you have finally decided that the whole universi- about some of you lot if you turn down an opportunity like wigs. The accent present by Gere is
Gere), who was imprisoned for arms
ty sucks and you can’t wait to be with Mummy and Daddy that and then all turn up to Supasonic, but that’s your loss. excellent, but there is one character
dealings, but as he does not do
again, there’s a little ad in the last Bare Facts, telling you the What we had in there was one of the most talented musi- who decides to travel the world with
cians around at the moment, playing to a small, friendly,
bombs, “no women and no children”
great news that Finley Quaye is coming. BRILLIANT! hers. A gory and bloody film with a
And quite, quite brilliant it was too. The fact that it clashed chilled out audience. You could even see how much he was the FBI get him out of jail and let
few surprises.
with the Hotel and Catering ball meant that for once you enjoying it, and that’s the sign of a good gig, without a him wonder around with out a guard
could actually breathe, you could get a beer within the hour, doubt. Enough to restore your faith in the Union completely. or handcuffs. Then there is the
and your clothes were almost dry when you came out. This inevitable meeting with an old
ed980129.qxd 25/11/98 22:23 Page 9 (1,1)

n Thursday 29th January 1998 Notices & Personals 9

n Maid outfit. Price negotiable.
Call andy C
n Nipple Chains fitted. £15 for
one, £20 the pair. Call Andy C.
n Fusspot I love you S.
n Loppy says hi.
n Don’t forget, ‘muscle’ contrac-
tions 10 times, 3 times a day ....
With love,Chi Chi
n Aswani - Lets party man!!!
n Wiks - Lets hit the HuT...know
what I mean?
n Want a snog...call harry!!
n Jo and Sara ... Best friends
Always
n 1998 - The Year of THE WEY-
SIDE GIRLS ( Max, Sara, Jo,
Becca, Sarah )
n What’s for dinner Miss Sarah!??
n Will the Milton Keynes Traveller
please get a life !!
n Guess What? DOMS, or SOMS
as we’re now called; are Back.
Behold the personal coloumn war
begins!!!!!!!!
n You’re movements must be
quick and simple! (But not
sharp)!!!!!
n Guess What? F*** off and die!
n QUE CONYAZO ERES GOBIO
n Cumplimos un anyo. Felicidades
carinyo. 24 ENERO
n Karen, have a fab time in Madrid
and keep in touch, love Sarah
n DT2. missing you stacks already.
DT4
n Andy (Sonny!!) I still can annoy
you, even from Germany!! Beware
the walls have ears!
n Sleepless in Saarbrucken. The
saga continues....
n We are back, “SOMS” the stu-
dents with the best personals.
Come on lets begin!!!!!!!!!
n Newcastle United at the best
team in the world.
n Matt - your hat is GREEN!!!
n Jenniflower - can you smell the
cider???
n Matt - stop doing that with your
fingers!!!
n Elvis Appreciation Society-
apply in writing to Clare, Friary 36
n Is it possible to get rainbows in
the midlands, seeing as up there
life is in black and white?
n Mr Green Shirt, have you got a
red shirt, or any other??
n Sam,I will find out you know!
n Jon, La Vendee here we come!!!
n Hello Penelopi-pi!
n Come on Ro, you know you
want your dream to come true
n Is Sam what he says he is and
has he got something missing?
n part of manhood missing, call
sam at twyford court
n Hey Ro! Lets go on holiday!!!
n Twins always make for inventive
sexual games.....
n I cum like a firehose, me!
n Jon (without the h) how’s the
rash on your arse clearing up?
n Hola, me llamo Penny.
Personals
n over 1000 pounds on a computer all your needs. No beaver too hairy. n Ant - have a good one mate.
that doesn’t work??? Please call Justin your hot wax spe- n Do real men own a teddy bear
n TICKET LAUNCH!!!!! cialist called Barney??!!??
n I do NOT come from n Nath, I’m sure Browny-Red is n Have you checked your room
Birmingham, I come from SUT- the same asa Ginger, it doesn’t recently?
TON COLDFIELD!!!! matter how curly they are. Rach n V - I thought you said you
n Stephanie. I will come over and n Simon, Simon with the green wouldn’t get drunk!
see you but you’ve negated to tell 406, don’t you fret but a table n It’s 5pm and I am bored!!!!
me where you live! Anton. buffing you ain’t gonna get! LD n Cory - get better soon
n Jon Hancock loves being smoth- n Ian, how’s your latino lover, n A & J sitting in a tree,
ered in HP quest qu cest la spirito de punto? K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
n Little Katie - have you pulled it n To Rachel the economics student n I - it was Starfleet and don’t let
out of the bag recently?! I met over chips at Bos on anyone tell you otherwise
n Bob, we miss our Tuesday lat Wednesday, contact me on ms51df n Rob - it is your own fault, you
nigth competitions..or is it wednes- or SOMS pigeon hole F-Duncan will get drunk!
day morning...where are you? n To the recently returned new n So Lolli likes Mars Bars....!
n Oi Moonbeam! Sunshine! Do improved Helen, we think your n Fraggle, a Kat is for life, not just
you still chat? GREAT! for christmas!!
n Armadillo? n Do real men moisturise??!!?? n Tricky, join the club..Haggis.
n MARC and SARA had a
FIRKIN good night at the BALL ...
apparantly!!
n MARC BUCKINGHAM - well
done mate, top bird!!!
n So - are all the barmaids at the
FORGER and FIRKIN that
good!!!???
n Nice new launderette but has any
one seen the pants I left in one of
the washers last term? CG
n Has Emily got her rat out again?
Yum Yum! SO
n But buffing a speciality, please
see Laura or Harvey
n Found, one liver badly worn,
with initials LK on the side
n Need waxing? We can cater for

Careers information Notices

Fruit & Veg stall in the Union today ball skills no end). If you’re a GK or a GS
Market stall will be set up from 11-4pm, so no (Great Kisser or a Great Snog) , help us to prove
need to slog over to Tesco’s. that Girls just wanna have fun.

Student Council meeting tonight, Thursday
week 2 (29th Jan). To include: Skills
Development programme, debates on the
Consultancy Review (see news) and Staff
Protocol, the chance to grill the Union
Officers,to add your voice, and to make a dif-
ference! All students welcome - LTD, 6pm.
Bring your mates.
Nightline needs you! If you’ve been involved
in the past, PLEASE let us know your new con-
tact details. Information evening for anyone
interested in joining. Thurs 29th Jan, TB21,
7:30pm.
OFU - AGM will be held at 6pm on Tuesday
Week3 in LTH

Laser Pens are now banned in the Students’
Union. As from today, anyone found in the
building with one will be subject to disciplinary
procedures and face a possible membership ban.
The Jiu Jitsu Club is holding a special ‘begin-
ners session’ on Sun 1st February, 5:30-8pm.
Campusport studio - anyone welcome, just turn
up in your tracksuit.
Womens’ Rugby AGM, Monday week 3 (2nd
February), 5:30pm, Grant Mitchell Room.
Contact Zoe ext 9583 (daytime only)
The Students Union is looking for a couple of
students to take over and maintain its internet
site. It is not that time consuming with and hour
or so a week once it is up to date. If you are
interested in getting involved send an email to
su-web@surrey.ac.uk or pop into the
Communications Office.
Do you like working with young people? I am
looking for volunteers to help me with a new
Red Cross youth group in Godalming (aged
10+) on Monday evenings from 6-7pm, to start
in January. Travelling expenses can be paid or
I can give you a lift. Please contact Katherine
on bs61kh or 234370.
Positions of the fortnight: Come and try out
exciting positions with the Netball Club on
Monday nights (6-8pm). As from 19th Jan we
will have our resident coach (will improve those
Room to Rent in Student House. 15 mins walk
to campus, Newly Refurbished, Electric
Shower, Washing Machine etc. Garage
Available Rent £230 per month until July 15th.
Phone (01483) 504629
The annual talent contest: weeks 7, 8 & 9.
(3rd, 10th & 17th March). Final is on March
22nd (Sunday). Music, comedy, mime, dance,
juggling, poetry - anything you’re good at.
Even if you can fart particularly well. Start prac-
tising now! Look out for entry forms in the
Unplugged pigeon hole. 1st prize is a generous
cash donation as well as the chance to support
our special guests, Rootjoose, for the final
evening.
The G & S Society requires people willing to
help with MAKEUP, COSTUMES, FRONT-
OF HOUSE, and anything else you fancy, for
the forthcoming production of CHESS. Please
contact Al on 579334, mu61am, or put a note in
our pigeon hole. Cheers!
Accomodation applications for next year.
The closing date for accommodation applica-
tions from continuing year
undergraduate and postgraduate students is
MONDAY 2 FEBRUARY. Please make
sure your application reaches the
Accommodation Office by 1700.
ed980129.qxd 25/11/98 22:23 Page 10 (1,1)
10 Features and Union News
Dr Russ replies...
I’ve got interviews coming up and I hate the
thought of having to ‘sell’ myself. It all
seems so artificial. Do I have to play their
silly games?
Dear Emma
I guess what’s really gnawing at you is the worry that
you think you’ll have to pretend to be someone you’re
not in order to impress the interviewer. Let me reassure
you that employers want to see the real person, not an
actor! At the same time, they do want you to sound
enthusiastic about working for them. After all, how can
they know you really want the job unless you tell them!
Let me give you an example of how this works in prac-
tice. I once interviewed six graduates for a job in the
Careers Service at one of the London Colleges. They
all had 2.1’s, they were all perfectly qualified and they
were all extremely pleasant. If only I’d had six jobs to
fill I’d have been laughing! But I didn’t. Fortunately,
at the end of every interview I asked them all the same
question. “If I were to offer you this job what would
you say?” I hated myself for asking it, but I kind of felt
it might prove crucial. It did. The first five answered
“I’d be very interested in it”, the last answered “I’d real-
Education Funding: the
issues for women
Jackie Beer
Students’ Union
Womens Officer
he planned changes in the way education will be
T funded will probably affect everyone and accord-
ingly NUS’s policy is to oppose tuition and top-
up fees. However NUS’s policy differs from that of the
NUS Womens Campaign because NUS accepts students
contributing to their education and
believes the ending of the maintenance grant will not
deter people from entering education.
The NUS Womens Campaign demands Free Education
for all those studying in post-16 for a number of rea-
sons which include their belief that education is a right
for all and should be based on the right to learn, not the
ability to pay.
Fantasy Football League
‘Scoring Keeps Us Going!’
FFL committee
Standings after one week:
Mr. Turquoise 2 ing 300pts with a last minute goal in the dying seconds
Mr. Orange -3
Mr. Blue -3
Mr. Lilac -3
Mr. Black -4
Mr. Violet -301
The season didn’t get off to a very good start with all
players bar one ending with negative points. Mr. Violet
got off the mark first, but scored -1 for re-visiting old
grounds. Mr. Black also scored -1 for visiting the same
ground in the same night, later plunging to -4 for play-
ing on a pre-visited water-logged pitch. Mr. Turquoise
Thursday 29th January 1998 n
Crossword No. 62
ly love this job”. No prizes for guessing who I offered
it to.
You see, not only did the sixth candidate come out with
a more convincing answer, she also sounded as if she
really meant it. It’s not just what you say that’s impor-
tant, it’s also how you say it.
Before you go for an interview you’ve got to convince
yourself you really want the job. Your enthusiasm,
motivation, ambition and interest will not only drive
you through the interview, but will also “colour” how
you answer their questions. Employers are always on
the look out for commitment, loyalty and energy in their
applicants. All other factors being equal, they’re bound
to prefer people who give the impression that they real-
ly want the job.
Every year I have to take Milkround interviewers to
lunch between their morning and afternoon appoint-
ments. I’m dismayed to hear them say on occasion,
how boring some of their candidates have been. If a
colourful candidate appears amongst a sea of grey faces,
the interviewer is bound to remember them at the end of
a long and tiring day. Which category do you plan to
fall into - boring or fascinating? It’s your choice.
Across Down
Russ Clark
1. Spanish Coin (6) 1. A powerful alkali (6)
Careers Service
4. An aromatic herb (6) 2. Astronomical chart (4-3)
9. Two (5) 3. A Cornish ruined castle (8)
10. To set free (7) 5. A type of lock (4)
11. Compassion (8) 6. Beam of light (5)
12. A male animal (4) 7. Guarantee (6)
14. Soon (9) 8. Study of antiquities (11)
18. Having a distinctive flavour 13. Stiffened (8)
(4) 15. Americans (7)
20. Italian city (8) 16. A bricklayer’s tool (6)
22. A very talkative person (7) 17. An individual (6)
The new proposals will particulary affect women due to 23. Parts of the feet (5) 19. A paddle-boat (5)
their more global position in society. Women in full 24. German songs (6) 21. Talented (4)
time work earn only 74.2% of mean male earnings on 25. An inventor (6)
average. 45% of women work in part-time jobs and
many take years out of employment to care for children Last weeks solution
Across: 1.nips 3. Affected 8.tank 9.fanciful 11.frequently 14.encore
or other relatives. Only 5% of women earn more than
£500 per week compared with 15% of men.
All of this means that most women are burdened with
debt for longer and the same debt will have a greater
15.stuffy 17.quarantine 20.aqueduct 21.lira 22.melodies 23.slut
Down: 1.notified 2.pungency 4.flaunt 5.escalating 6.tuft 7.doll
10.surrounded 12.official 13.type-cast 16.creche 18.balm 19.fuel
impact on most women than it will on most men as it
will constitute a far larger proportion of disposable
income throughout her life.
It would seem that free education would be the only
funding system which can guarantee access for all to
education. Furthermore I would suggest that the dis-
crimination which women face in society will be exac-
erbated if we are denied access to (free) education.
is the only player with positive points, after a single
play at an away ground. Mr. Orange returned to old
form and scored -3 for fielding an invalid player. Mr.
Blue and Mr. Lilac both ended the week with -3 for own
goals. The week ended disastrously for Mr. Violet, los-
with a shot from close-range after a disappointing per-
formance during the first 89 minutes, and was left with
a long walk back to the changing rooms.
Whats in this Space?... Nothing. so tell
us what your club or society is up to and
we can print it.
Send info to Barefacts@surrey.ac.uk or
by disk or piece of paper into the BF Box
outside our Office.
Deadline is Sunday Night each week
ed980129.qxd 25/11/98 22:23
n Thursday 29th January 1998
Racing on ergo’s
Annie Preston
t the end of last semester the
A Rowing Club entered its
first BUSA event of the
year with the greatest number of
entries from Surrey University ever
to compete in this prestigious event.
The competition was held in
Reading among great rowing stars
(other than ourselves, of course)
such as Greg Searle, making the day
very exciting.
At this indoor event we were with-
out use of any sculling boats,
instead we were racing on ergo’s (to
the non-rowers, these are similar to
rowing machines, but very different
to those who know anything about
them!).
As we arrived we signed in and
made our way into the competition
area. We were immediately over-
come with fear as we saw before us
over 50 ergo’s. Were we going to
leave alive? Our task was to row
2000metres in the fastest time possi-
ble on one of these ergos. This may
sound easy, alas, you quickly learn
the art of mind over pain, to defeat
the exhaustion you feel, especially
after the first 1000metres and then
as you approach your final stroke.
Canoe join in our fun?
his semester every
T Wednesday will be trips to
local weirs (until they stop
running), meet at 1.15pm in the
union foyer. Meetings are every
even week, Thursday nights,
Have you seen
Danny
Williams?
Danny, who is doing a PGCEA at
Surrey, is our vibrant new Monday
evening aerobics instructor. His
class takes place in the University
Hall between 6.00 - 7.00 p.m. so
check it out. You won’t be disap-
Page 11 (1,1)
We do enjoy it, honest!
Stefano Predieri (Captain) entered
the Open Lightweight and finished
an outstanding 23rd out of 103 com-
petitors. Stephen Poole, Under 23,
finished with a personal best time
and placed 41 out of 94 competitors.
Aurora Trif, Merle Lust and Nikki
Collins entered the Open category
8.30pm in the union. Pool sessions,
every even week 9pm, meet in the
union. For information of weekend
trips see the pigeon hole.
Trips this semester include South
Wales, Yorkshire and the
Campusport
pointed!
And just a reminder - the January
sale at the Sports Centre shop ends
this Saturday - so come down a pick
up that final bargain.
and finished 11th, 18th and 26th
respectively out of 45, again with
outstanding scores and personal
bests achieved.
Annie Preston and Jilla Ferguson in
the Under 23 event finished 23rd
and 24th out of 42.
For many of us this was our first
ever rowing event and it was a day
Universities Rodeo Competition at
Teeside.
All beginners welcome, we have a
friendly team of instructors and trips
are organised for all abilities. If
you’re interested contact either
Learn to Play
Squash!
Beginners Squash is now on
Tuesday evenings 6.00 - 7.00 p.m.
Come along and sign up - it’s ongo-
ing to the end of the semester, so
you should be able to reach a good
standard in that time! Or if you’ve
had some experience, you can join
in with Intermediate Squash on
Wednesdays 5.40 - 6.40 p.m.
These are just two of the numerous
Next week... the
BUSA Knock-outs
Results
features
Photo: Rowing Club
that brought us together, working as
a team, representing our University.
We look forward to the ergo chal-
lenge that is taking place later in this
semester at Campusport, open to all.
Can you handle the pain?
Martyn mt41mg or Sarah bs62sg or
leave a note in the pigeon hole to
find out more.
classes and courses that are avail-
able at Campusport - come down
and see us, have a chat, sign up, join
in and have fun!
Please note that the Saturday morn-
ing Circuit class has been cancelled
due to lack of numbers - however,
there are still three others to chose
from - Monday 5.10, Tuesday 5.10
& Thursday 5.10.
11
Dickie’s
New
Year’s
Column
Dickie Saulet
Sports Editor
know that this is a little late, but
I
Happy New Year and welcome
back to you all. This is the time
of the year when New Year’s
Resolutions start to take their toll. I
for one am getting fit this year; I am
determined to lose my 4th chin that
I have acquired over the last four
years here at Guildford. Anyway I
have been to the gym and am still
having walking problems one week
later. Maybe next year I’ll do
something about them!
This year promises to be one of the
very best ever for sports fans. The
Superbowl and World Swimming
Championships have already taken
place and what with the World Cup,
the Winter Olympics, the European
Athletics together with the excite-
ment of Manchester United win-
ning the European Cup, league and
FA cup treble and Portsmouth fin-
ishing mid-table (above Ipswich), I
for one cannot wait. However, I do
feel that Barefacts lacks something
in the Sports department- it needs
some live coverage of the top
events; it needs someone to sample
the atmosphere of the big game, to
report on the standard of the
Japanese snow, the quality of the
hotdog at Old Trafford; to share in
the delight of England holding high
the World Cup in Paris; to report on
the quality of the pitch in Jamaica.
I, in my humble capacity as Sports
Editor have found the man for the
job- someone knowledgeable about
sport; somebody who has the neces-
sary experience; somebody who
can speak a foreign language and
who can and does write amusing
articles. The only thing missing is
the funding, and, with your help, we
CAN get the money from Union
funds.
I promise you, I will not let you
down- it will be like you were sit-
ting beside me sampling the atmos-
phere. Any donations will be
gratefully accepted. Thanks.
ed980129.qxd 25/11/98 22:23
12 Sport
GI’s Vs
Older
Rutlishia
ns
Reserves
(and they wonder
why we won 3-1!)
Baresi
It was a cold day on Saturday, but
we kept warm by running around
more than them. This was a good
idea as it was the quarter final of the
County Cup.
We managed to score 3 goals, two
more than them as they only scored
1. They weren’t a clean team
despite being sponsored by Persil.
They wore dark blue and we wore
white and blue. The ref. was a man
with not much chat. I spoke with
him at half time about the weather
and he agreed that it was cold. After
the match we were happy and had a
shower to get clean.
Page 12 (1,1)
Burymead FC’s
day of reckoning
Jan
n a fresh Saturday afternoon
O the cream of Surrey seconds
squad arrived at the high
altitude ground of Godalming
Cricket Ground. Even though the
edge of the box doubled as the side
line, Burymead couldn’t stop
Surrey’s flowing football . Such was
the standard of Surrey’s play, that
The feisty Firsts fracas Vs
Farncombe
T
Fagan -
a.k.a DIRK DIGGLER
Thursday 29th January 1998 n
Burymead were made to look ordi-
nary, even though they were. The
first half resulted with 5 beautifully
crafted goals. The first 3, from the
golden boots of Easy Miriam and
Steve Catt, were sweetly struck
from 25 yards, leaving the keeper
with no chance. By this point
Burymead had accepted the
inevitable so even when Richie
Bedford tried not to score their
he only way to describe this
game was farcical. The refer-
ee gave the game to the
opposition and was paid £1000, the
proof of which we have on video
defender kept it on and left him with
an open goal to finish from inches.
The tally of the half was completed
by James Hemmings with rapier
style header controversy a measured
ball from defence. The second half
was orchestrated by the boot of our
German superstar Jurgen Gutsamer
with a series of incisive passes,
mainly off the end and sides of the
pitch. After a clinical finish by Nick
camera where the money was seen
changing hands. (Allegedly) We
were 2-0 up and playing some of
the best football the University has
seen this season, when the referee
Simmons, to complete Surrey’s goal
feast, a series of inspired substitu-
tions halted any further chance of
increasing the score line.
It was a shame that the score line
6-0 did not truly reflect the stan-
dard of the opposition as they were
worse than that. Many thanks to
Lisa for transporting our victorious
lads.
decided to readdress the balance by
giving them 2 penalties and booking
loads of our players. Myself and the
team will cry ourselves to sleep for
a week and can only blame the ref