Section F

Peer Evaluation:
Francisco Cabasag

Samuel Cruz

Jay Javelosa

HyeLim Kim

Juun Kim

Giuseppe Romano

Cabasag, Francisco Jr.

Cruz, Samuel

Javelosa, Jay
Kim, HyeLim

Kim, Juun
Romano, Giuseppe

A Genuinely Loving Long Distance Relationship

In romantic relationships, there are bound to be some problems that
would lead to disagreements between the couple. One of which is when they are
set apart from each other by long distances. Boyfriend-girlfriend couples
involved in long distance relationships, for instance, would probably face more
problems resulting from a lack of communication and physical closeness-including lack of trust and loss of romantic feelings & emotions. Due to this,
these couples should have the will to exert extra effort into making their
relationship work. In the end, couples who share genuine love with one another
should be able to grow past these problems.
Some long-distance-relationship couples end up having a lack of trust for
each other. A groupmate shared about his experience on having once thought
that other guys were just waiting for him to make a mistake and grab the
opportunity to get his girlfriend for themselves; and in the same way, his
girlfriend had to be open to the fact that he, being a basketball player, would
naturally draw lots of female fans--protocols were set in order to make their
relationship work. However, not all instances similar to this ends up well.. Some
people end up becoming too controlling, especially when some rules were not
followed as well as expected.
According to Scott Peck, love, however one conveys it, should serve a
goal or purpose--and that is to nurture the spiritual growth of both persons in the

relationship through extending oneself. We realize that, when one becomes too
controlling over their partner, they are not thinking about the spiritual growth of
their partner; they are actually hindering their human maturity because they are
stopping their partner from growing as an individual; and in effect, their own
spiritual growth is also hindered. We see that the love one might claim to feel
for ones partner that supposedly drives the motive to be controlling--it is not
genuine love.
An experience of another member affirms that the loss of trust can only
lead to more issues in the relationship--after an experience with her boyfriend
that broke her trust, their love grew weary. This is another issue with regards
to couples in long distance relationships who have yet to fully commit to one
another--changes in their feelings for one another. As Scott Peck has stated,
falling in love is only temporary, and no matter what we do, we will eventually
fall out of love, the honeymoon phase will end.
A groupmate shared that in a past relationship, a point came wherein both
of them became too busy or tired to stay always connected--which eventually
led to their emotional disconnect. A point in a couples relationship such as this,
we realize, is where they start tofall out of love--they would start doubting
their relationship and their love for one another, until they grow apart; on the
other hand, we also realize that this could be where genuine love, driven by
effort and will, has an opportunity to grow and flourish.

Issues such as lack of trust and falling out of love can sometimes really
plague long distance relationships. This is why long distance relationships are
very challenging to keep--it takes a lot out will, effort, and commitment--so
much that at times, the success in long distance relationships would say
something about how genuine the couples love for each other is.
Drawing on Scott Pecks insights, some points can be made regarding
long distance relationships--one is that, in order to make it work, both persons
in the relationship must be strong and independent from one another--one
should not rely solely on the other for happiness and fulfillment. We see that
this dependency seeks only to fulfill the needs of the self, and that it
infantilizes the passively dependent person. The end goal is that both persons
would be comfortable with their commitment with one another that they would
be able to trust in their love for one another with regards to their growth, as well
as their fidelity.
Another point is that the couple should have the will to keep their long
distance relationship growing. As has been defined, love is the extension of
ones will, and this means that feelings or emotions should not be the basis of
love, but rather, it should be ones will to grow with the other. We realize that
the couple should persistently choose to love each other even after falling out
of love, and choose to understand and respect one anothers opinions even in
conflicts (contrary to an irresponsible mother decathecting a rebellious child).

This therefore implies that long distance relationship requires a lot of

effort--both persons in the relationship must make a conscious decision to make
time in their schedules for one another, whether through social media or by
meeting up. This also helps keep the romantic feelings and emotions alive,
which helps making efforts and willing easier.
In conclusion, couples engaging themselves in long distance relationships
should bear in mind that this implies having to deal with a lot of limitations
which could lead to having troubles with trust and the loss of feelings--which
could then lead to misunderstandings and, if not cared for adequately, breakups. Despite that, these issues do not and should not hinder genuinely loving
long distance relationship to flourish. A couple genuinely loving each other will
choose to continue loving and caring for each other, no matter how far apart
they are, no matter how long ago they last met in person, no matter how rare it
is that they have time to talk to each other. A genuinely loving long distance
relationship is sure to conquer all of these if, it is indeed, genuine.