7 Habits of Effective Communicators

No one masters communication completely. The topic, like world cultures,

keeps growing as new technology and new thought leaders emerge.
Ive never met anyone who claimed to be a lousy communicator. Most people
think they communicate well. Yet, given the current political unrest, racial
tensions, international conflicts, and divorce rate, how could that be? How
could the civil discourse be so uncivil?
Having the following communication standards might help:
1.

Strong communicators tell the truth: Telling the truthwithout

twisting the timeline, adding information, omitting information, editorializing,
distorting the facts, or otherwise misrepresenting a situation or information
becomes the foundation for all other interactions between two people. Truthtelling is the circuitry for trust. When that connection is broken, theres no
basis for further attempts to communicate.

2.

Strong communicators listen: They know whats inside their own

head. The goal is to get to whats inside the head of the other person.
Someone who refuses to listen is like the soldier who listens only to
propaganda from his own party. To find out what the enemy is about, that
soldier must listen to the enemys transmissions. When youre always in talk
mode, youll always be at a disadvantage, knowing only what you think or
intend to do.
Listening (not just hearing) benefits strong communicators several ways: 1)
You demonstrate interest in the other party. 2) You learn. 3) You can respond
appropriately.

3.

Strong communicators read body language: Words are never the

whole story. Meanings are conveyed in tone of voice, voice volume, facial

expression, eye contact of the lack thereof, smiling, nodding hand and arm
gestures, stiff or relaxed body posture, a smooth walk or a limping gait. All of
these things and more tell you how someone feels about the topic of their
presentation.
4.

Strong communicators choose precise words: Reckless writing and

speaking doesnt happen with strong communicators. They take care to
eliminate hot words (unfair, unreasonable, disapproval, complaint) and
phrases from their conversations and documents so as not to elicit an
emotional reaction over an improper word rather than over the intended idea.
They mean what they say, and say what they mean.

5.

Strong communicators pay attention to emotional context: Strong

communicators understand how the listeners mindset can positively or
negatively affect how someone hears what you say. So they make sure to
understand the context and select the appropriate emotional backdrop against
which to deliver bad news.

6.

Strong communicators understand the importance of

timing: Theyre not going to ask the boss for a raise just after learning that the
stock price has fallen 35 percent. Nor will they give a briefing about losing their
biggest client half an hour before making a big sales call with a new prospect.

7.

Strong communicators understand how grand-standing affects

persuasion.They know that people feel pressure to say things they dont
mean when egos become involved. For example, in a meeting Marco speaks
up to support Solution A to a problem, with three other colleagues in the room,
agreeing with him. Kevin debates the issue, saying he wholeheartedly
disagrees with Solution A. Marco restates his position solidly for Solution A,
although he cannot state his reasons so clearly as Kevin. Kevin again refutes
Marcos position, clearly stating his own position and reasons for Solution B.
The 3 onlookers appear to take Kevins position, which has now been stated
so eloquently.
Marco will find it difficult to persist in his opinion for several reasons. 1) The
disagreement has become public, where onlookers must take a side for
winners and losers. 2) Winning will now involve ego.

If the goal is to gain consensus rather than force agreement, Kevin will need to
find a way for Marco to change his opinion without losing face with the
onlookers. Confidentiality provides that cover.
Any ONE of these habits can put you one step ahead on your plan to become
a communicator extraordinaire.