Days are Coming

Inspiration for Elul and Tishrei

Aryeh Goldman

Introduction

I often speak to people about realizing and revealing their potential and
partnering with Hashem to make this world a more beautiful place. Last year a
friend with whom I was having this discussion challenged me to practice what I
preach and step out of my comfort zone and commit to a project that could inspire
others. So with a tefilla for siyata dishmaya, I am humbly took the challenge and
for almost two months during Elul and Tishrei I shared words of inspiration. The
response was overwhelming and I now present these thoughts with you in the hope
that it motivates you to make the most of these awesome days.
What we do with these days will have awesome ramifications on our personal lives
and the lives of those around us.

Days are coming

#1 - Forgive
I once received a letter from a person who I admire and respect, begging for my
forgiveness. In a heart-wrenching expression of remorse the individual
explained that while he did not actively do anything to harm me he wishes that
he would have dedicated more time to nurture our friendship. I was struck by
the authors raw emotion and began reflecting on the people in my life and what
am I doing to cultivate deeper and more meaningful relationships with them.
Each person that enters our lives is put there by Hashem to either help us
discover, develop and/or refine an aspect of our personality or to support the
other in realising and revealing their potential. Often the two are interwoven.

Action Plan: Think of someone in your life that you have neglected and make a
point of contacting them and reminding them that you care and how special they
are to you.

#2 Who is the judge?

How is it fair that on Rosh Hashana - Yom HaDin (Judgment Day) we are not
consciously aware of our actual judgment and therefore unable to defend our
selves?
A dear mentor once shared the following thought with me:
Throughout our lives we observe, speak and connect with people around us and
more often then not we judge people based on what we see on the surface, rarely
giving the other the benefit of the doubt. Hashem knows our inner most thoughts
and records them. Then on Rosh Hashana when it comes our time to be held
accountable for the mistakes we have made during the year we are actually
judging ourselves. Every time you judge another favourably you will be judged in
the same favourable way. As the holy Baal Shem Tov taught, the faults that we
find in others are a reflection of the same faults that lie within.

ACTION PLAN: Commit to seeing the good in others. Think of a certain

individual that you have looked upon unfavourably and in your mind and heart
transform your negative perceptions into positive onesyou will be doing
yourself a great favour.

#3 Are you listening?

Many of us have forgotten what its like to have someone listen to us, someone
who actually wants to hear what we have to say. Is it not strange that although
we are so connected to our so-called Facebook friends and online connections
we have become such a lonely people. We desperately crave and need human
connection, yet we have become so focus on the I that we are not interested in
listening or hearing about the you
We are so distracted by our emails, meetings and appointments that the only
way we can get someone to really listen to us is to pay for it. How unfortunate is
that? That we need to pay to be heard.
Chassidim have always placed an emphasis on the power of the fabregen/tisch. It
is an opportunity to connect. To share ideas, inspire and be inspired. It is also the
reason why a Jew cannot live isolated on a hilltop. A Jews needs a community, a
place to daven, a place to learn, a place to connect and interact.
And yet there are so many people out their yearning to be heardsearching to
acquire a real friend. Searching for someone with whom to share their story.

Action Plan:
Open your heart and listen. Shut off your phone and give someone you love your
full attention. Listen to their story without judgment or ridicule. Just listen
Your life will be enriched.

#4 Dont give up the search

I have strayed like a lost sheep. Search for your servant, for I have not forgotten
Your commandments. (Tehillim 119:176)
Sometimes we lose our way in this world. We stray so far from Hashem that we
no longer know how to return. We reach a point when we cannot return without
the help of Hashem. Then we need to call out to Hashem, I can no longer find
youbut you can still search for me. Search for me and please do not forget me. If
You would just call out to me with Your voice.
Rebbe Nachman from Breslov explains the above possuk as follows. When a
sheep strays from the flock, the shepherd calls out with his voice or plays his
flute and the sheep recognises the call or the tune of the flute and returns.
However this will only work while the sheep still remembers the shepherds
voice or the sound of the flute. Dovid HaMelech prayer to Hashem was as
follows: I have strayed like a lost sheep I am lost, and I no longer know how to
return. I plead with You search for me, Your servant - for You still know how to
find me. You can call out to me and I will recognise Your voice and return to You.
But Hashem please call out quickly while I still recall the sweetness of being
close to You and the remember the joy of fulfilling Your mitzovot.

ACTION PLAN: Have a conversation with Hashem. Call out to Him and ask Him
not to abandon His search for you. Assure Him that upon hearing the call you will
return with a heart full of joy and love.
Hashiveinu Hashem eilecha.vnashuva.

#5 - Are you living an inspired life?

This time of the year is inspirational. Elul, Selichos, Shofar, Teshuva, Succah and
Lulav are all intended to inspire and uplift us. There hardest thing about
experiencing something inspirational is that at some point the inspiration ends
and we return to our regular mundane lives. There are times when in fact we
actually regress after a period of inspiration. Speaking from experience an
example of this would be that after an extended period of dieting I usually put on
more weight after the diet ends then when they started dieting.
It is important to learn the secret of holding onto and transforming inspiration
into real action, it is deeply rooted in the Jewish calendar and life cycle.
We spend the week in the mundane physical world and then enter into the realm
of Shabbos. On Shabbos the intention is to come close, recharge and then use our
heightened spiritual consciousness to elevate the following six working days.
Three times a year the Jewish people would leave their homes and ascend to the
Beis HaMikdash whereby they would come face to face with the Divine. But the
intention was not for them to stay there. The chassidishe seforim refer to this
state of spiritual fluctuation as razoi vshov - coming close and returning. Rav
Moshe Wolfson explains that the shockoling back and forth in prayer, leaning in
and the drawing back and the perpetual movement of the Jew is an expression of
this concept.
We all know that a hug that goes on for too long becomes oppressive. A child that
is over-protected and mollycoddled will not develop a healthy sense of
independence. The intention of the inspirational moments in our lives is to bring
us close for a brief hug and then it becomes our duty to draw that G-dly
inspiration back into this world of concealment. In that way we partner with

Hashem in fusing the spiritual and physical and creating a dwelling place for His
presence.
What is inspiration? There are two types of inspiration:
1. Extrinsic inspiration: This is referred to as isreusa deleilah an awakening
from above. It is the motivation that comes from something outside of me, like
the promise of a reward or a prize or a pay rise. The person remains passive
waiting, hoping and expecting someone or something to wake them out of their
slumber. The danger here is that will a person may feel uplifted and motivated
by a sudden burst of inspiration but that inspiration often melts like snow on a
summers day and rarely is transformed into real action. Rav Kook in Oros
HaTeshuva refers to this level of inspiration as teshuva pisomis (sudden
teshuva) and says that unless a person makes a vessel upon receiving this
inspiration it will have little effect.
2. Intrinsic inspiration: The chassidic writings refer to this level of inspiration
as isreusa deletata. It is where the individual is able to awaken within the self a
deep desire for transformation. This level of inspiration is not dependant on
external stimuli but is rather when the individual has come to an internal
recognition of where they are and where they want to be and then proactively
take the steps to live that dream. We admire intrinsically motivated people for
being trailblazers who courageously commit to making real and longing lasting
changes in their personal lives that often radiate and inspire others to change as
well. Again Rav Kook in Oros HaTeshuva refers to this level of inspiration as
teshuva hadrogis - progressional teshuva. He explains that although this may
not be as dynamic and passionate as teshuva pisomis, the affect will be longer
lasting and a more genuine transformation.

#6 Meditationthe key to inspired living

Are living an inspired life? The real question is are you living a intrinsically
inspired life? Living an intrinsically inspired means living an intentional life. The
hebrew term for this is Kavana.
A Torah life-style is not meant to be a dry and monotonous set of rote rituals but
as the Zohar suggests it is a way of engaging with the Hashem in a deep and
meaningful way. From the way we interact with our children, spouses and
friends to the way we eat, sleep and work the Torah gives us the tools to be
spiritually sensitive and consciously connected to a higher source.
However we live in a world of continual distractions. These distractions disable
our ability to channel our thoughts in a controlled and intentional way. Instead
many people just go with the flow rather than intentionally engage in life.
The key into transformational and intrinsic inspiration lies in meditation. Before
you scoff this off as new age hoohaa please read the following extract from Rav
Aryeh Kaplan ztl in Jewish Meditation - A Practical Guide (highly recommended
reading):
The purpose of meditation is to attune the mind to certain truths (or
Truths with a capital T). When a person tries to explore questions such
as the meaning of existence, the true goal of life, or the ultimate
nature of reality, the answers remain elusive, tickling the edge of the
mind. Possible answers hover on the borderline of consciousness, but are
so

subtle that they cannot be discerned through the static of the

mind.

One of the most elusive truths is knowledge of the self. Generally we see
ourselves only through a thick veil of ego. For this reason, it is
impossible to see ourselves as others see us. Through meditation,
however, we can remove the veil of ego, and see ourselves with a degree
of objectivity. In this manner, we can look at ourselves objectively as a
third person.

We are then able to see our own shortcomings and

overcome them.

The self-awareness engendered by meditation can also strengthen the

ego when needed. Thus, a person with a weak self-image and feelings of
inadequacy can learn to be more self-assured. He can examine his
motivations and learn to become more inner-directed, doing the things
he desires, and not simply what others expect of him. He can look
objectively at his relationships with others and learn to improve them.

Action Plan: As you hear the Shofar, beat on your chest, shake your lulav or
dance with Torah stop and think about what you are actually doing. Try and
evoke within your mind and heart a deep love for Hashem as you consider all the
good and blessings in your life.
As you dance and ascend heavenward ask to be continuously inspired by
Hashem and as you return back to earth ask for the ability to convert that
inspiration into action and infuse the world with Kedusha.

10

# 7 - What a beautiful world

I was once at a lecture and the presenter said We are living in a crazy world!
The man sitting next to me corrected him, Crazy peoplebeautiful world.
Our world is spectacular and we need to better appreciate it. The Rambam
writes that one of the ways to come to ahavas Hashem (loving G-d) is to meditate
on the beauty of creationto observe the changing of the seasons, the endless
waves of the sea, the fruit of the tree and the sophistication of the human body.
Living in inner suburbia with our busy lifestyles many of us rarely take the time
to observe the natural and raw beauty of the world. A friend sent me a text last
week recommending that I get up from my computer and take a look
outsidethe graphics are much better.
In our family we make a point of going for a hike at least once a month on a
Sunday afternoon. Not only does it afford us a valuable opportunity for family
bonding but it also enables us to sensitise our children to the wondrous
grandeur of the world in which we live and instil within their young hearts a
sense of gratitude to the Master of the World.
When seeing a beautiful vista or crossing a flowing stream, smelling a fresh rose
or climbing a rugged cliff face my children will spontaneously break out singing
the following song:
What a beautiful world of flowers and trees,
Birds in the sky,
A warm pleasant breeze,
How can we thank you,
for making these.
Ma rabu maasecha Hashem.

11

ACTION PLAN: Either go by yourself or take your spouse and/or children for a
drive into the mountains or to the seaside. Walk through a beautiful garden (and if
you are in the southern hemisphere) observe the blossoming of the spring flowers
and the rejuvenation that is taking place. Meditate on a specific natural
phenomenon and thank Hashem for granting you the ability to sense and be
touched by the awesomeness of His creation.

12

# 8 - The Child Within

I am thinking that maybe some of us grew up just a little too quickly. Perhaps if
we were given the opportunity to be kids instead of being trained to be little
adults we would not act like little kids now.
How many of us were granted the freedom to explore, build, fall, wonder,
imagine, create, fail, love without some well-meaning individual hovering over
our shoulder, scorning the actions that failed to live up to their dream of what
they hoped we would become. How many of us learned to love from the
experience of being hurt? How many of us felt safe to fall so that we could learn
to walk? How many of us have the freedom to be so that we could discover who
we truly wanted to become?
Having recently spent 10 weeks with 7-years-olds and living in their world I
really wonder when do kids have time to be kids. As we jam pack their days with
activities in order to make them ready to enter the workforce we rob them of the
beauty of childhood.
However what I am discovering is that so little of their day is dedicated to
character development, to free and social play. And then when we finally give
them time to play inevitably they end up in front of a screen absorbed in an
illusionary world.
I wonder how many of us secretly crave a return to childhood. To the simple
pleasures of reading a book, the wonder of new discoveries, the freedom to just
be without all the social, economic and other forces that bind us to acting in
artificial and imposed ways.

13

Some of us were privileged and blessed with parents who fostered and
encouraged us to just be and live in the moment. Parents who believed in us and
promoted learning from mistakes who loved us no matter what score we
brought home on a test or a report card. Lets thank those parents who
disciplined us out of genuine concern, compassion and wisdom. Let us pay
tribute and thank them for laying the foundations upon which we constructed
our lives.
These thoughts were generated by those beautiful little boys and girls who are
beginning their journey. As I look into their eyes I hope that I am able, as both a
parent and teacher to create an environment for them to realize their potential
in the present actualize it and become who they are destined.

14

#9 - The Pearl Necklace

There was once a little girl who had a toy necklace. She cherished the necklace
and refused to ever remove it. One night her father came into her room and said
Maideleh, can I please have your necklace? The daughter responded, Tutty you
can have anything in my room but please dont take my necklace. The next night
the father entered her room and asked again if she would give him her necklace.
Once again she said, Tutty I love you very much and you can even have my
favourite doll but please dont take my necklace.
On the third night before her father entered the room she thought to herself I
wonder why my father keeps asking me for my necklace. My father loves me and
he knows how precious it is to me. If he is asking me to surrender it he must have
a very good reason.
When her father walked into her room that night and asked for the necklace she
happily removed it and handed it over to him. In return he placed a beautiful
pearl necklace around her neck. We all have things in our lives that we hold on to
and cherish. While some are positive and help promote our spiritual
development others stunt our growth and prevent us from receiving the truly
precious experiences that Hashem wants to bless us with.
There comes a time when Hashem wants to bless us with something but in order
for that to happen we first need to surrender part of our former self. However we
often resist and offer alternative sacrifices instead. Hashem has a rule. He will
never force us to do something. For when He does we loose our free will. Instead
He sends us messages concealed in nature, in our relationships with our spouse,
children and friends, that gently and sometimes not so gently guide us to that
one thing that is hindering our spiritual development. We need to open our

15

hearts and sensitize our minds to those signals, ready to surrender our toy
necklaces in exchange for the real thing.

ACTION PLAN: What is the one thing in your life that although you know, deep
down is holding you back; you nevertheless choose to hold onto? Create a plan to
deal with it. It may be helpful to share your thoughts with a close friend or
mentor to gain an objective perspective.

16

#10 Are you proactive or reactive?

There are two ways that life can be lived - Proactive or reactive.
You see friends, Hashem sends us various nisyonos (tests) each day.
Their purpose is to guide us towards our tikkun towards what were supposed
to be doing here. Our freedom lies in how we respond to Hashems stimulus.
But the problem starts when we don't have a clear vision of what we want to
achieve with the life we have been granted. Without a clear idea of who we are
we are easily jolted off balance. This uncertainty about life and ourselves leaves
us grasping at straws and our actions are reduced to mere reactions.
We get angry at a friend, jealous at a colleague or frustrated with a child.
Our external environment begins to control us rather then we controlling it.
Without a clear vision we walk through life oblivious to our inner calling and
become pawns of fate.
This reminds me of one of my favourite quotes from Alice in Wonderland:
Alice came to a fork in the road. 'Which road do I take?' she asked.
'Where do you want to go?' responded the Cheshire Cat.
'I don't know,' Alice answered.
Then it doesn't really matter. said the Cat
This is why it is so critical to develop a personal mission statement. When you
have a clear vision of who you are and what you need to do in this world you
view obstacles as challenges to overcome. Obstacles and challenges become just
that, blips on the screen, admittedly some bigger than others but still just blips.
Most importantly we don't lose sight of everything else in the picture, the screen,
everything else happening on it, we see the blips in their proper scaled size.

17

When you know what you're about you cease to react to your environment and
stop being controlled and limited by it. The blimps no longer possess the power
to throw you off balance because you are have an anchor to keep you on an even
keel.

The Jewish People collectively chose their mission statement when they
accepted the Torah. As a people we have faced more upheavals and trials then
any other people and perhaps it is for this very reason - our clear collective
mission - that we are still here while other civilisations have faded into the stuff
of dreams and legends.
The process of developing a personal mission statement requires commitment
and raw honesty. A deep desire to take control of how YOU will live your life and
how You will go through life living. It demands that you sign up for the long haul
- to see it through although it may be painful and take you beyond your comfort
zone. Be honest with yourself- for the only then will you discover your unique
self and live a truly meaningful existence.
ACTION PLAN: In preparation for formulating your personal mission statement
try one of the following exercises:

1.

Think of someone who has inspired you. What character traits does
that person have that you would like to develop?

2.

Imagine it is your 100th birthday. You are surrounded by your family and
dearest friends. Your great grandchild makes a speech. What would they
say about you?

3.

List 5 of your strengths.

18

#11 Master of your destiny

14 years ago my wife and I went to the Belzer Rebbe Shlita in Jerusalem for a
blessing before departing for Australia. Although I knew that I was returning to
Melbourne to study at the Kollel Beth HaTalmud and to be engaged in outreach I
had little idea of what to do and how to do it. It was a very emotional farewell
and at one point I broke down and cried to the Rebbe, Please tell me what I
should do in Melbourne, give me guidance. His response has remained with me
until this very day. Aryeh he said, You are the master of your destiny and I
cannot and will not interfere with where Hashem will lead you. This is your life
and you have been granted a unique mission that you and only you must
discover and accomplish.
And so the journey began. It took me to some wonderous physical and spiritual
places as well as places I would have rather avoided. Along the journey I met
some very special people who have deeply touched my life and I hope I have had
the same effect on theirs. But I also met some people who challenged me and at
times made the journey unbearable. In hindsight, I understand how every place,
person and experience brought me closer to my purpose although at the time it
was not always so clear.
One thing that has kept me focused throughout the ups and downs of this
journey is a personal mission statement. A statement that I constantly refer back
to. It keeps me humble in the successful moments, motivated in the difficult
moments and grateful in the knowledge I am on the journey in the first place.
Days are coming my friends when we are going to need to submit our personal
mission statements to Hashem for the coming year. Rosh Hashana needs to be a

19

day of absolute clarity...clarity of mind, purpose and mission. It is a day whereby

we joyfully present to Hashem our CV, when we argue our case for how we are
going to partner with Him to make this world a better place. We need to use the
days of Elul for deep introspection so that on this Rosh Hashana we have the
presence of mind to answer the question: How are you going to make a
difference?

ACTION PLAN: If you already have a personal mission statement it is time to

reflect on it. Are you living up to it and achieving the goals you set for yourself? If
you already have a mission statement than now is the time to consider ways to
refine and further develop that mission.
For those of us that dont have a personal mission statement I am going to
dedicate the next few entries to the process of developing one. You can begin by
contemplating on your core values.

20

#12 - Why are you here?

The great mystic Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto ztl open his magnum opus Mesilas Yesharim with the words:
The foundation of piety and the root of perfection in the service of God
lies in an individual's coming to see clearly and to recognise as a truth
the nature of his duty in the world,
and the end towards which he should direct his vision and his aspiration in all of his
labours all the days of his life.

So while, as Jewish People we have a collective mission, the Arizal explains that
each individual was sent into this world to fulfil a very specific and unique
mission. Therefore a personal mission statement is a declaration that provides
clarity and gives you a sense of purpose. It defines who you are and how you will
live.

ACTION PLAN: 5 Steps to defining your personal mission statement

There is a systematic approach to identifying your mission that is detailed below.

Do this on a piece of paper.

Step 1: Draw a circle labeled What Im able to do Spend some time

identifying a few examples where you have had personal success in recent years.
These successes could be both in spiritual areas as well as at work, in your
community, at home. Write them down and see if a common theme/s emerges.

21

Step 2: Draw another circle labeled Core Values. Develop a list of qualities that
you believe identify who you are and what your priorities are. Initially this
should be a brainstorming session and you can use the core strength list on the
hitoreri.com website. However you should try to refine the list to 3-4 and better
still the 1 quality that best defines you.

Step 3: Draw a circle labeled Contributions include all the things youre
drawn to, that you like doing, without regard to whether youre able to do them
or have the resources. Think of the ways that you could make a difference to
your family, friends and community.

Step 4: Identify Goals. Spend some time thinking about your priorities in life and
the goals you have for yourself. Make a list of your personal goals, perhaps in the
short-term (up to three years) and the long-term (beyond three years).
Step 5: Write a Mission Statement. Based on the first four steps and a better
understanding of yourself, begin writing your personal mission statement.

Aryeh Goldmans Personal Mission Statement

To teach my students (including family, friends and community) in a way that

motivates them to live a meaningful life, whereby they are inspired to be more
then they think they can be.

22

#13 Choose life

Rosh Hashana is this awesome day when Hashem gives us the opportunity to
determine our destiny. Not to succumb to a fate that is inconsistent with our
innermost desire but to make choices to proactively effect our lives. The
Slonimer Rebbe z"l writes that on Rosh Hashana we choose the life we want to
live and ask for the tools that will assist us in refining and lighting up our world.
The fact that you woke up this morning and are able to read this message is
Hashem telling you, "I want you here, you have a mission to accomplish, and this
mission has been waiting since the beginning of time for YOU to achieve." We are
here, partnering with Hashem to make a difference. We are granted the years of
our lives to fix, resolve and leave our mark, as we live our legacy. We don't have
much time. Seize the opportunities that are granted to you and make a
difference.
We have incredible potential and its about time that we stop talking and reading
about it and take action. Live every day of your life to your best. Not the best...but
YOUR best!
The questions we should be asking ourselves as we account for our existence
are:
"Why am I here?"
"Am I living a meaningful life?"
"Am I living consistently with my values?"
"Am I the best spouse, teacher, friend, mentor, parent that I can possibly be?"

23

These are not "one off" questions, they are questions that can and need to be
asked daily. These are the questions that help orient our lives and make them
meaningful. Truthful answers to these questions have the power to help us
transcend adversity and embrace each opportunity to reveal our inner essence.
We can be assured (but never perturbed) that at the moment of enlightenment,
when we feel that we have discovered our unique mission in this world the
inevitable happens. There will be a distraction. There will be obstacles. There
will be challenges. And that is part of our story. Overcoming difficulty brings you
closer to your mission. We are not born at the peak of a mountain, because it is
not so much about the destination as much as it is about the journey to arrive
there.
Hashem charges us to live a fulfilled life whereby we realize and actualize our
dormant potential. We must act with courage to leap beyond our comfort zone to
live our legacy.
spelt backwards is which translates as "if only". This precious month is
about reflecting all those lost opportunities throughout the year when I could
have or should have but didn't. Its about asking for forgiveness for not bringing
to the world what I was meant to. Its about resolving to remain steadfast and
committed to my mission.
May it be your will Hashem that we are granted clarity. That we are strengthened
in our resolve to foster a deeper relationship with You as we embrace our unique
mission in this world and remain loyal throughout the journey.

24

#14 - Blessings
In my first year of teaching a custom was born in my classroom. I was teaching
Grade 1 and was giving a blessing to each individual child on Erev Rosh Hashana.
As I was working through the class I noticed a special needs child lingering back.
He waited until all the other boys had received their brochos and after receiving
his said the sweetest words I have ever heard, "Rebbe, you have given us all a
brocho, but what about you, who is going to give you a brocho." I responded,
"Yankeleh (not real name) would you bless me please?" With a sweet smile on
his face he closed his eyes and gave me the most beautiful and pure brocho. I
called back all the students and asked each of them for a blessing and so the
custom came about. I just spent precious time with my closests and dearest
students blessing and being blessed and now I want to share my brocho with
you. I would cherish your blessings in response.
May Hashem bless you with a year of purpose, meaning and everything necessary
to successfully accomplish your unique individual mission. May Hashem shine His
light upon you and may you be a open and receptive vessel to receive and use that
light to make our world a better place for all.
In that merit may we experience the coming of Moshiach and the rebuilding of the
holy Beis HaMikdash speedily in our days.

ACTION PLAN: Bless as many Yiddelach as you can today!

25

#15 - Lessons from a Croaky Voice

I have very fond memories of singing selichos with my friends at Hamayan. In a
unified voice each individual sang from the depths of their heart to create a
single voice and a truly uplifting experience. It is always so inspiring to
participate together in songs of praise and yearning for Hashem Yisboroch.
I was once asked to lead the service but as I began, my voice sounded croaky
and broken. I dug deep and in silent prayer to Hashem asked for Siyata Dishmaya
and assistance so that my singing should inspire, unify and connect the
congregation. In the merit of my holy brothers and sisters who came together to
open their hearts and beg forgiveness before the approaching awesome days my
prayers were answered (thank you Hashem).
The experience reminded me of the first time something like this happened to
me. It was when I was the Assistant Rabbi in Adelaide. One of my duties was to
blow the shofar. An elderly Egyptian Jew who was the shofar "expert" of the
congregation coached me in preparation for Rosh Hashana. For an entire month
we practiced over and over again until he was confident that I had mastered the
art of shofar blowing.
When Rosh Hashana arrived I proudly mounted the bimah and flawlessly blew
the initial 40 sounds of the shofar. With a sense of relief I placed the shofar back
in the cupboard to be blown tomorrow. However my mentor forgot to instruct
me that there were actually an additional 60 sounds that I would need to blow
that day. When the Rabbi turned to me with a questioning look I panicked. You
see I had only rehearsed 40 blows and was already feeling numb on the lips. I

26

took the shofar and prayed for Divine assistance. All went well until the final 10
blows. My lips became totally numb and I didnt know how I could continue. I
closed my eyes for a short while and begged Hashem that in the merit of the holy
Jews in this community to let the sounds come forth in a pure and acceptable
way.
I dont know how I got through those last sounds but after the service a lady
approached me. I was sure she was going to complain and berate me for not
adequately preparing. But instead she said with tears flowing down her cheeks,
Aryeh, I have had a really tough year and your shofar blowing resonated
deeply with my personal struggle. You see, there are times when I feel proud
and confident of my skills and abilities, when everything seems to be going
well, but this year life (Hashem) sent me a curveball, and I was thrown off
balance. It was precisely at that moment of hopelessness that I needed to dig
deep in order to discover something special within myself. My discovery
was fraught with obstacles, humiliation and challenges. But when I was able
to connect with my source (Hashem) I became far greater than I ever thought
I could be and so did you today as you blew that Shofar.
Her words have remained at the fore of my consciousness over the years. I
learned that my individual struggle is a universal struggle. I learned that we are
presented with obstacles to learn and discover who we truly are and I learned
the power of being connected to holy Jews. I learned the power of community, of
connectedness and unity, unity with each other and unity with Hashem.

27

#16 - The author of your story

One of the main reasons we do not want to change is because we don't believe
that we can change. We believe that we are just like everyone else. Stuck.
But you are the author of your story. Believe that every person, place and
experience is plotted to bring you closer to who you really are. All your ups and
downs are Divinely choreographed to lead you to your true self.
When you know this you welcome the events Hashem sends your way and
acknowledge them as guiding posts along the journey of life.

ACTION PLAN: Be receptive to Hashem's guidance concealed within creation.

28

#17 - Yom Kippur and my Japanese Maple

As I was drinking a tea before heading out to shule on Shabbes I looked out at the
beautiful Maple tree that grows in my courtyard. I have looked at this tree many
times over the years but never really studied it.
It doesnt look so beautiful now because during the winter it is completely bare,
having shed all its leaves. The first time this happened I called the gardener
fearing the tree had died. He assured me that the tree was perfectly healthy but
in order for it to achieve its next level of growth, it had to go through this
process.
As I was sipping my tea I thought what a powerful lesson in our lifecycle. I
thought about the many times during the past year when I might have appeared
to the outsider (and actually to myself as well) as if I was almost dead, spiritually
dead; as if there were no leaves, no signs that would have indicated life.
But as I reflected, I started to appreciate that usually those times preceded a time
of intense spiritual growth. It seemed as though I needed to go through a
somewhat dormant period before being able to grow to the next level, the same
cycle as the tree. So I began to think a little deeper and began to see the obvious
connections between the seasons, the life cycle of the tree and our own spiritual
growth.
This time of the year we are laying the roots that will give birth to the awesome
tree of the coming year. We should never fear those cold spiritual moments but
understand that they are an integral part in our process of spiritual
development. Just as I look eagerly forward to the re-growth of the new leaves

29

on my Japanese Maple so too do I eagerly await the spiritual growth that just as
inevitably lies ahead in the months to come.
Let us pray, my dear friends that we are able to open our hearts to the lessons
Hashem embedded in our natural world. Let us learn from the maple tree, to
accept the wintery months of our spiritual journey as a fundamental part in the
process of our development. Let us wait in earnest and joyful expectation for the
warm radiant light that Hashem sends our way to inspire us to grow.
Leaves that fall in the winter do re-grow. All it takes is the warm rays of the
early spring sun to bring the tree back to life, grander and more beautiful than
ever before.
Perhaps in the same way, when we are apathetic and lack passion, numb and
spiritually cold, all we need to do is open ourselves up to the beauty and warmth
of a Shabbes, a posuk in the Torah, a page of Talmud, a Chassidic thought or a
moving niggun. All we need is a moment in Hashems loving warm light knowing
that He will inevitably reignite our on-going process of birth, re-birth and
continuous growth.
Hashem, our dear and beloved Father, please grant us a year of incredible revival
and self-discovery so that we may live blessed and meaningful lives.

30

#18 Hug Sameach

My family loves hugs. Towards the end of my overseas trips or school camps, I
eagerly anticipate my familys hugs. And the longer I have spent away the more
intense these hugs tend to be.
There are times in our lives when we just need a shoulder to lean on or a
comforting cuddle. Then there are times when we really need a true bear hug.
The pasuk says, semolo tachas roshi, veyemino techabkaini, meaning, His left
hand supports my head (referring to Rosh Hashana) and His right hand
embraces me (referring to the sukkos hug). The left refers to the middas hadin
which is when Hashem acts with discipline and judgment, while the right is
representative of middas hachesed Hashems loving kindness.
Succos is the time of year when Hashem gives us a hug. Interestingly, the succah
can be built in a few ways: with two and a bit walls, three walls or ideally four
walls. Some of us are ok with a shoulder to lean on (2 and bit wall succah), while
some of us need a comforting cuddle (3 walls succah) but then there are those of
us who need a huge Divine bear hug (4 walls succah).
After Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, while the intention is for us to purify and
discover who we are, some of us are not really happy with what we discovered
about ourselves or quite ready to make all the necessary changes. On Succos
Hashem says: You are my beloved child and I love you anywaycome and give
Me a hug.
It is the only mitzvah that we are are totally engaged in with every fibre of our
being. With our clothes, possessions, and as one chassidic master said, and even
with the mud on your boots.

31

Perhaps that is why succos is referred to as zman simchasainu the time of our
joy because for seven precious days, Hashem accepts me and embraces me as I
am. It is this acceptance and love that will hopefully spark within me the desire
to return the hug, savour it, and remember its warmth when confronting the
challenges or relishing in the joys this new year will bring.
Hug Sameach!

32

#19 Lulav Meditations

My successes and failures, my weaknesses and strengths, my positive and
negative experiences are opportunities sent from Hashem. They are sent to
awaken the dormant spark contained within and illuminate the path to affect and
transform our emotional and physical being. While many of us yearn to see the
Divine in our lives, a purposeful haze conceals the Divine and only those who
persist are rewarded for their efforts.

The ( 'Lulav, Esrog, Aravos and Hadasim) are a medium to draw Godly
consciousness into the depths of our being. The Ariza"l taught that the '
correspond to Hashem's name.
' =
= "
= ".
= "

We take the ', corresponding to Hashems name, and extend them to the
right, then to the left, in front of us, up and down and finally behind us (according
to the Arizal). Each time we extend them out 3 times and then draw them back
towards our heart. The meditation that follows is a powerful tool based on the
teachings of Rav Moshe Wolfson Shlit"a that can make our 'experience
truly meaningful.
To the right: The right corresponds to Hashems Chesed (kindness) and so we
embed into our consciousness that when we feel loved, when we experience
generosity and benevolence that we acknowledge that Hashem is its source.

33

When we think of our children, our spouse, our home, our health and the food on
our table we acknowledge and feel in the depths of our hearts sincere gratitude
and connection to the Giver of these gifts.
To the left: The left corresponds to Hashem's Gevurah (discipline) and so when I
feel that Hashem is withholding something from me I understand that ultimately
what I was asking for would hinder instead of propel my progress. I meditate,
accepting Hashem's discipline and thanking Him from the depths of my heart for
caring enough about me to send me clear messages that force me to contemplate
my actions.
In front: When I feel a sense of clarity and purpose as I look forward let me
appreciate that You Hashem are the One who lights up my path and guides me to
live my life's mission.
Up: When I feel spiritually elevated let me feel that Hashem it is You who are
drawing me closer. When I am promoted let me be humbled by the fact that You
are in control of all and it is only when I am in sync with You that the universe
conspires with me.
Down: When I am down, beaten and depressed let me see it as an opportunity to
connect with Youcome what may. Let me understand that adversity builds
character and enables me to discover a part of me I never knew existed.
Behind: Finally, dear G-d, when I can't see You, when I don't feel or experience
You, please let me remember that You are constantly there, gently prodding me
forward. Let me understand that sometimes You conceal Yourself from me in a
Divine game of 'hide and seek' because its my search that matters most.

34

#20 Priorities
Two years ago I undertook a Diploma of Youth Work at RMIT. One of the most
memorable experiences in the course was meeting John. He was a Youth Worker
with the YMCA working with disadvantaged children in detention. John walked
in to one of our sessions with a black eye that he got during a recent basketball
game; an adolescent who didnt agree with one of his umpiring decisions had
struck him.

We were instructed to discuss with another student the reasons we had decided
to dedicate our lives and careers to Youth Work. I was paired up with John. His
story left me in awe of the human spirit.

John was a successful corporate accountant with many high-end clients, a corner
office with city views, a sports car and enough cash to support his luxurious
lifestyle but he still wasnt happy or fulfilled. To quote Viktor Frankel, John had
"all the means to live by, but lacked a life of meaning". After a particularly tough
day at the office punching numbers John came to the realization that he was
simply not satisfied with his job or in fact with his life. He described it as a void:
the status, the cars, the vacations, the money and even the fine dining were
unable to satiate the thirst, fill the void he felt within. At that moment, he decided
that he had had enough. He wrote a resignation letter, went into his boss and
resigned - just like that. One minute he was a high flying professional and the
next he was an unemployed nobody. He left the office went directly to the YMCA
head office and applied for a job working with troubled youth - he hasn't looked
back since.

35

There is a movement called Minimalism made up of people who have amassed

material wealth and have found no meaning in their possessions. What they do is
pack up everything they own into boxes, as if they are moving, and for the next 3
months only take out of the boxes the things that are absolutely essential to
living their lives. Everything else remains in the boxes. After 3 months whatever
is left in the boxes is sold or donated to charities. All those who have participated
in this exercise report a euphoric feeling when the final box leaves their
possession. They find, as a result, that they are less focused on what they have
and more focused on what they can give. They no longer have a myriad of things
in their lives: clothes, products, machines, gadgets and other stuff that act to
distract them from what is truly significant in their lives. These are ordinary
people. They are not gurus or holy men. They are regular people, who were
dissatisfied, so broke free from the the rat race and are leading more meaningful
lives

Our sages where acutely aware of the obsession people have with amassing
more than they need. They warned us the more possessions you have the more
worries you carry - marbeh nechasim, marbeh dagot.

As the world moves closer to its perfection and its tikun, these truths are
becoming ever more apparent to a growing segment of society. We can only push
off our calling for so long. The pain of living a life of emptiness and vanity are
becoming too confronting to ignore, the call to action loud to resist.

36

# 21 The Flash of Inspiration

Imagine trekking through beautiful terrain. Over the hills, your destination is in
sight but you fail to accurately calculate the remaining daylight hours. Darkness
quickly sets in, your path is obstructed by thick foliage, your progress slows,
your heart beats faster. With no sun, you lose your bearings, travelling deeper
into the forest you become confused, disoriented and begin to panic. You know
your destination is within reach but you are now lost - no idea to which way to
turn. It begins to rain, at first a light shower then thicker and heavier. Growing
wearier with every step you begin to lose hope. At that moment you whisper a
silent prayer. You ask for a sign, for salvation but instead the rain becomes
torrential and thunder shakes every fibre of your being. The darkness absorbs
everything. Your silent prayer becomes a silent scream, an audible cry. Suddenly
a flash of lighting illuminates your world, you see your destination and know
which path you need to take. You are charged with newfound energy confident in
your ability to reach your destination.
You see my friends we are all trekking through life. Some of us are keenly aware
of our destination but inevitably enter periods of darkness that disorient and
confuse, leading to despair. At those times we lose hope of ever escaping the
abyss into which we feel we have fallen. It is usually at those moments, when the
darkness is blackest that we call out. We ask for a sign, a message, something to
rescue us and deliver us to our destination. And then it happens, in that moment
of absolute darkness, a flash of light, a spark of inspiration and we remember
who we are and where we are going.

37

That spark of inspiration is always temporary, often surreal. It simply motivates

us to move towards our purpose. If we are complacent in the pursuit of our
dreams, if we fail to catch the spark, ignore the call or fail to act upon it, then we
remain lost in the darkness of our struggle. Our core life purpose is to engage in
the search for our true inner calling, to align ourselves with our true purpose.
When we do that we experience inner happiness and the possibility of bliss.

As we begin our journey to self-discovery together, it is imperative that we

acknowledge what it is that inspires us and commit to respond to it. Will you act
in response to the inspiration or idly sit back in anticipation of some heavenly
guidance? Will you misread the call or act in alignment with your true purpose?
Will you remain open to the inspiration, create yourself as a vessel for it and
convert the energy of inspiration into real and positive change?
Make this year the year of transformational change as you actualize your
incredible potential.

38

#22 Joy, Prayer and Miracles - the Essence of Elul and Tishrei
The first thing people want to do when they experience a deep emotionally
moving event in their lives is to share it with others. To their dismay they find
that after sharing their experience with another it suddenly has a lessened
impact on their own psyche.
It seems that our world is much better than that of previous generations. With
technological advancements life has become easier and more pleasurable than
ever before. At the touch of a button one can change the climate to suit ones'
needs, be transported across the world in hours and heal sicknesses that were
once considered fatal. And yetpeople seek to escape this beautiful world. Drug
and alcohol rehabilitation centres are opening up everywhere. If you walk into
any bookstore you will find shelves full of How to be happy manuals. What has
gone so wrong? Why are people not happy? The dilemma challenging many
people is that if I have everything, why am I still not happy?
The Slonimer Rebbe z"l says that before we try and explain how to attain
happiness we need to define what exactly happiness is. He states that since joy is
the key to unlocking kedusha (holiness) and divine blessing it must be more than
the superficial understanding that people mistake it as. It cannot be that true
happiness is dependent on ones' mood. Rather happiness is special state of mind
that is developed by deep meditation and is felt in all situations and under all
conditions.
The Rebbe teaches that the source of happiness is the joy a Jew feels in the way
Hashem relates to him. This realization comes from an understanding that
Hashem is our loving, devoted father, constantly looking for opportunities to
bestow good upon us. In this way Jewish happiness is given a very spiritual
dimension. So lofty is this form of joy that when a Jew happily accepts the way
Hashem relates to him, midah keneged midah Hashem happily accepts the way
we relate to Him.
A chasid of the Kotsker Rebbe z"l once complained that he was beginning to
despair. Every time he would feel that he was coming closer to Hashem a new
nisayon (challenge) would arise and he would feel a terrible spiritual descent.
The Rebbe asked him how he taught his child to walk. Not understanding why
the Rebbe was asking this of him, he began to describe to the Rebbe the process.
39

He would stand at a distance with his arms open to his child. The toddler would
begin to walk and as the child drew closer the father would take a step back. The
Rebbe explained to his chasid that just as you moved back as your child came
closer out of total love and devotion so that your child should be able to walk
independently, so too Hashem beckons us with open arms only to step back
lovingly as we get close.
A Jew who internalises this concept feels Hashem near at all times. As David
Hamelech says "Imo anochi betzara" - in his suffering I am with him. Even when
one feels that he has spiritually fallen and his heart and mind have become
numb, he feels Hashem is near. He never feels alone, without purpose, lost. As
David writes - Gam ki elech begai tzalmaves lo ira ra ki ata imadi - even when I
walk in the valley of death I fear no evil for You are with me. The belief that
Hashem is intrinsically involved in this world is the foundation for developing
true happiness.
The world exists on two levels: the physical/material and the spiritual. The
reason why people are not happy today is because they have nourished the
physical beyond boundaries and neglected the spiritual in the process. There are
parents who make sure to prepare the best meals for the children and to make
sure they get enough entertainment and are dressed appropriately. The problem
is that they have ignored the inner spiritual dimension of the child.
Prayer fuses the two worlds together. Prayer is referred to as avodah shebalev service of the heart. The question is if prayer is in the heart why to we need to
express it vocally? Why isn't silent meditation sufficient? We can answer this
question with another question. Have you ever considered the following: We
begin shacharis with brachos, gradually build up to pesukai dezimra, the
momentum picks up with birkas krias shema and almost peaks with kriyas
shema. Just when you expect the most powerful, loudest crescendosilence for
the Amidah. Why is this so?
I once heard from Rabbi Nathan Lopez Cardoza, a well-known lecturer and
Jewish philosopher, a beautiful mashal to explain this. Imagine a father and son
who have not seen each other for twenty years, separated by the once infamous
Berlin wall. One day the wall comes down, father and son see each other from a
distance and begin running towards each other. Each step closer becomes more

40

intense, the screaming more passionate. Finally as they embrace there is nothing
but silence. There are no words to express the emotions they both feel inside.
Any word uttered would lessen the impact of the moment.
If this is in fact true, then why do we speak at all (even if only in a whisper)
during the Amidah? The reason is because we live in a material world and we
must forge the two worlds together. So at the most intense moment of our
connection with Hashem, the most spiritual and the closest we ever get, we are
reminded that we live in a physical body and that the only way to break free is to
realise that the neshama inside us all can transcend way beyond this world.
That is the purpose of a nes, miracle, to expose that which has always been part
of the world but has merely not been revealed until now. The only difference that
exists between nature and miracles is that nature is miracles happening
frequently. A nes (miracle) is a phenomenon that lies beneath the surface waiting
for us to acknowledge its existence.
Elul and Tisheri are about rising beyond the limitations of this world. It is about
coming to terms with the reality that there is more to the world than meets the
eye. It is about experiencing an inner joy so powerful that it can only be
expressed in prayer and study of Torah.
Hashem is close - in every time, in every place and to every one.

41

Below is a collection of sources on the topic of Teshuva prepared by Ner

Leelef who aim to spread the beauty of Torah around the world.
They have granted permission for me to share this content with you.

Teshuvah Part I
Introspection and Growth or the Confession Box?
Lets say youre an astronaut, far beyond the earth on a very long journey. Lets say you get fed up with the
constant barrage of instructions coming in on your radio from home base. So you shut it off. With no regrets.
And you relax, enjoying the awesome scenery out the window. And time flies by
But eventually, you realize you have no clue where you are. Or how to get back to where you want to be. And
you remember that you had a mission, but you cant quite get straight exactly what it was. You panic.
Finally, you remember the radio. You reactivate it. You hold the hand piece and call, Home base?
Astronaut calling home base! Answer me!
A faint reply is heard. It is the sweetest sound youve ever come by. Now you can get back on course.
We are all astronauts. We took off from Mount Sinai over 33 centuries ago with a plan to follow and a
mission to accomplish. Weve got to reconnect to our home base (Tzvi Freeman, Bringing Heaven Down to
Earth, p. 54).
God created each individual with unique attributes and talents, and the ability to exercise
free will in order to reach his potential. During the year we may make mistakes and use our
free will to undermine our ability to reach our potential. As we shall see in this two-part
series, God therefore gave us the precious gift of teshuvah, enabling us to correct our
mistakes, regain our lost potential, and repair our relationship with Him.
These sources will address the following questions:

What is the essence of teshuvah?

Why dont Jews use a confession box?
What is the power of teshuvah?
Can we do teshuvah without having sinned?
How is teshuvah connected with the final Redemption?

42

Section I. What is Teshuvah?

Teshuvah means return. Return to what? The Baal HaTanya explains that the word teshuvah is
a composite word formed from the word tashuv and the letter hei. It means return to God.
That is what teshuvah is. Remarkably, somebody who is distant from God, somebody who
has strayed far afield, is able to make a miraculous return.
1. Rabbi Shimon Apisdorf, Rosh HaShanah Yom Kippur Survival Kit, Leviathan
Press, p.102 Dealing with mistakes.
One of the most common words in your prayer book is sin. Its not a very pleasant
sounding word. Certainly no one wants to look at himself or herself as a sinner. In Hebrew,
the generic term for sin is chet. This term literally means to make a mistake. Sins, no
thanks. But mistakes sure we all make mistakes.
The issue on Yom Kippur (and throughout the year) is this: How do we correct the
mistakes of our past and avoid repeating them in the future? If we can understand this, then
we possess the key to unlocking an enormous reservoir of latent potential for greatness that
would otherwise lie dormant.
This is teshuvah. The common translation of teshuvah is repentance. Again, a rather
foreign sounding idea. The proper translation of the word teshuvah is to return.
Teshuvah is an animated technique for locating the rationalizations that lie at the root of our
mistakes: recognizing them, dealing with them, and eliminating them.
Like an act of betrayal against a spouse or a close friend, which causes a tangible dent in the
relationship, iniquity dents our relationship with God. In the words of the verse below,
sin constructs a barrier, as it were, between man and God.
2. Yeshayahu (Isaiah) 59:2 Sin comes between man and God.
For your iniquities have come between you
and your God, and your transgressions have
caused Him to hide His countenance from
:
you, from hearing [you].
The gift of teshuvah, however, allows a person to return to God the far are drawn close.
3. Hoshea (Hosea) 14:2 Returning all the way to God.
Return, O Israel, unto the Lord, your God,
: '
for you have stumbled in your transgression.
This world is a place full of obstacles and stumbling blocks. Indeed, we stumble and fall,
succumbing to at least some of the pitfalls that cross our path. As the Talmud teaches, there
is no human being who never sins (Sanhedrin 46b, based on Kohelet/Ecclesiastes 7). God
knows that our journey in this world is precarious and has therefore given us a great gift: the
gift of teshuvah, the power to return.
4. Rabbi Chaim Friedlander, Sifsei Chaim Moadim, Vol. I, pp. 249-250
Transgression creates barriers between ourselves and God, and defiles our soul.
Teshuvah removes those barriers and impurities.
When a person transgresses he defiles his ,
soul. This impurity cuts him off and ,'
43

separates him from God. As long as the . "

impurity is present, he is distanced from " "
God. The request forgive us [in the daily
...
Shemoneh Esrei] is essentially a request to
remove the barrier [between ourselves and
God]
Every mitzvah brings a person closer to
God [the root of the word mitzvah shares the
same root as the word tzevat, a pair of pliers,
a device for bonding two entities]. In
contrast, every transgression distances a
person from God. The main aspect of sin
that is so terrible is that it causes him to
be distant from God. Therefore, the
ultimate aim of teshuvah is to return and
regain our original closeness to God.

.' .'
. ...

.

Rambam (Maimonides) provides an inspirational description of the teshuvah process. It is a

true revolution, a demonstration of just how much a person is able to achieve by means of
his deeds.
5. Rambam, Hilchot Teshuvah (Laws of Repentance) 7:7 How wonderful is
teshuvah!
How wonderful is repentance! One day a
person can be separated from the Lord, '
God of Israel, as it is written, Your ...
iniquities have made a separation between '
you and your God and on the next he
...
can be attached to the Divine Presence, as it
is written, But you who are attached to the
Lord your God
Since our relationship with God is a two-way relationship, it follows that He desires our
repentance. We need only make the first step, and the rest of the course will be met with
fantastic Divine assistance.
6. Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, Handbook of Jewish Thought, Vol. II, 15:59 Initiate the
first move to return to God, and He will return to you.
Even if one has lived a completely ungodly life, he should not give up hope and feel that
it is impossible for him to change his way of life [Ramban/Nachmanides on
Devarim/Deuteronomy 30:11]. Our Sages teach us that, All beginnings are difficult
[Rashi on Shemot/Exodus 19:5]. God thus gives a person every opportunity, and once
he makes the initial effort to do teshuvah, he is given Divine help [Shabbat 104a]. God
told his prophet, Return to Me, and I will return to you [Malachi 3:7]. Our Sages teach
us that God says, Make an opening for Me like the eye of a needle, and I will open wide
for you the gates of heaven [Shir HaShirim/Song of Songs Rabbah 5:3].
We have said that teshuvah means returning to God or, in the words of Rambam (Hilchot
Teshuvah 7:6), to the Divine Presence. Yet, teshuvah also means returning to ones true self,
an inner purity that is always connected to its Divine source.
44

7. Siddur, Morning Prayer; Rabbi Mordechai Becher, Gateway to Judaism, p. 136

Teshuvah is a return to the purity of ones soul.
... , , ,
My God, the soul you have given me is pure. You created it, You formed it, You breathed it into me
Teshuvah, literally translated means return. We believe that the soul is intrinsically pure
and began its sojourn in this world in a state of purity. Mistakes and wrongdoings are
departures from the essential nature of the human soul. Therefore when a person has done
something wrong, the process of teshuvah is really that of going back to his or her true
essence.
Teshuvah is so vital to mankind, it was created along with the Torah before the world.
8. Talmud Bavli, Pesachim 54a Teshuvah was created before the world.
Seven things were created before the
world. They are: the Torah, teshuvah
...
The fact that teshuvah was created before the world itself implies that a person can do
teshuvah even without having sinned. The world was created at a distance from God,
and repentance draws it close. Repentance, in this sense, defines the most fundamental
desire of God for the world. Fittingly, it is the only thing that the central blessings of the
Shemoneh Esrei prayer describe as Gods desire.
9. The Shemoneh Esrei prayer Of all the blessings, which include such concepts
as wisdom, redemption, health, sustenance, etc., only repentance is expressed as
Gods desire.
Blessed are You, God, Who desires
. '
repentance.
The theme of teshuvah is that of relationships. The relationship between God and Israel is
compared to the relationship between husband and wife (see Shir HaShirim 1:1, with
Rashi). Having strayed afar, teshuvah is the means by which we can draw close once again
close to God, and close to our inner selves.
Because of Judaisms profound understanding of relationships, there is no room for the idea
of a confession box or of a third party affecting atonement. If we wrong a person, we must
approach that individual himself. If we wrong God, it is up to us to approach Him. Only we
can take responsibility to restore our original closeness to God by removing these barriers.
Therefore, there is no room in Judaism for third-party atonement.
Key Themes of Section I:

The word teshuvah means return. Its a process of returning to God and to the
deep essence of ones pure soul.

Teshuvah involves a personal revolution. A persons condition is defined by his

relationship with God. He can be in the dark (in a spiritual sense sullied with
sin), or in the light, sparkling clean. The gift of teshuvah is the ability to
orchestrate a personal revolution.

45

Repentance is part of Gods original plan for the world, created even before the
world itself. It allows a person to rise beyond the levels he had achieved before
he transgressed.

Additionally, teshuvah is possible even without sin. It means bringing a distant

world closer to its Divine source. Teshuvah is the true desire of God; it is what
God wants from the world that we should bring ourselves, and the world, close
to Him.

Because the essence of teshuvah is a matter of relationships, it follows that it is a

deeply personal process, and certainly cannot involve the absolution of a third
party a concept entirely foreign to Judaism.

Section II. The Power of Teshuvah

There are two fundamental levels of teshuvah. The basic level involves the simple decision
to return to the path of the righteous, to refrain from transgression, and cleave to goodness.
Sounds easy? It is. But it is only the beginning. The decision to be righteous is enough to
earn the title of tzaddik righteous person.
However, to make a full return and restore the close relationship between the individual
who has transgressed and God, and erase the deep effects of iniquity requires a higher level
of teshuvah. This is the power of teshuvah in its highest form the power not only to
change a person from one who transgresses to a righteous person, but even to erase or to
modulate the past.
The first element of teshuvah is demonstrated by the following extract of the Talmud,
which teaches that a split-second decision can render a person a tzaddik, even if until that
moment he had been a deeply wicked sinner.
1. Talmud Bavli (Babylonian Talmud), Kiddushin 49b Split-second repentance.
If a person marries a wife on condition that
he is an absolute tzaddik, even if he is totally
.
wicked, the marriage is valid. The reason for
this is because perhaps he had thoughts of
repentance in his heart.
Although the Talmud calls him totally righteous, this split-second penitence cannot
achieve the full effect of teshuvah. He may be righteous, but he still has the history and
weight of transgression that requires atonement. As we find in the Shemoneh Esrei prayer,
repentance and atonement are two separate stages:
2. Shemoneh Esrei Prayer Prayers relating to teshuvah and forgiveness.
Return us, O Father, to Your Torah, and
draw us near, O King, to Your service, and
...
return us with complete teshuvah before
You
Forgive us, O Father, for we have sinned,
pardon us, O King, for we have
.
transgressed, for You are forgiving and
46

atoning.
As we will see in the second class, reaching the highest level of teshuvah is a lifetimes labor.
Yet, we do find one person, whose inspirational story is recounted by the Talmud, who
managed to condense both levels of repentance (not only repentance where one is termed
righteous, but even repentance that serves to erase all sin) into a very short time.
3. Talmud Bavli, Avodah Zarah 17a The repentance of Elazar ben Dordaya.
Rabbi Elazar ben Dordaya made it his "
business to visit every prostitute in the
world. He heard about a woman across the
seas who demanded an exorbitant fee. He
gathered the money and crossed seven rivers
.
to reach her.
Just as they were about to be intimate, she
passed wind and commented to him, Just
as this wind will never return to its source,
so too the teshuvah of Elazar bar Dordaya
.
will not be accepted, and he too will never
return to his source.
A broken man, he went outside and sat
between two mountains and hills. He asked
the mountains and hills to petition God on
his behalf He asked the heavens and
earth to petition God on his behalf He
asked the sun and moon to petition God on
his behalf He asked the stars to petition
God on his behalf. After all of them refused
to come to his assistance, he finally realized:
Only I can do teshuvah, its not up to
anyone else. He placed his head between
his knees and cried with regret until his soul
departed him.

...
...
...

...

.

A Heavenly voice announced, Rabbi Elazar

ben Dordaya is invited to the World to
Come! When Rabbi Yehudah HaNasi
heard this he cried and said, There are "
some people who acquire their World to ...
Come over many years. And others acquire
.
it in a single moment!
It is striking that Elazar ben Dordaya, who was clearly no Torah scholar, is given the title
Rabbi at the end of the passage. Why was he a rabbi? What did he teach us? He is called
Rabbi Elazar because he taught a tremendous lesson: Not only is teshuvah able to change a
person from a rasha (wicked person) to a tzaddik, it is even able to cleanse a person of a
lifetimes worth of sins, and bring him straight into the World to Come, the
consummation of an intimate relationship with God!

47

When Rabbi Yehudah heard that this had been achieved in a single moment, he could do
nothing but cry. To understand why Rebbi cried, we need to go further in understanding
the power of teshuvah.
The following Talmudic statement, referring to two different motivations for doing
teshuvah (one out of fear and one from love), teaches a remarkable principle, that the
highest level of teshuvah has the potential to turn transgressions into merits!
4. Talmud Bavli, Yoma 86b Transgressions can even be transformed into merits!
Reish Lakish said, Great is teshuvah, for
when the sinner repents his sins are
...
accounted as if he had committed them
unintentionally Yet surely, Reish
Lakish said that teshuvah is great because ...
[through it] a persons sins are accounted
.
as merits This is not a difficulty since
the first statement refers to repentance out
of fear, whereas the second statement
refers to repentance out of love.
How are sins turned into merits? One explanation for this is that by learning from our
mistakes, we turn the mistakes themselves into something positive (see the second Morasha
class on Teshuvah, Section I, Source 2). This can be propelled from a sense of deep regret
(Rabbi Yitzchak Berkovits). Just as a vaccination relies on a small part of the disease to
render a person immune, so too after we have done teshuvah, sin actually serves a positive
purpose by allowing us to develop beyond our previous level.
Another explanation, however, is that the higher level of teshuvah, which the Talmud refers
to as teshuvah out of love a burning desire of love to return to God, entirely severs a
person from his past misdeeds. His transgressions fall away as though he had never
committed them and instead become merits.
As mentioned previously, there is no person who does not transgress. The potential for sin
was placed in the world to give humanity free choice. Teshuvah was created as a gift to
enable us to work on ourselves when we transgress so that not only can we regain our
previous level, but also perfect our character. The verse states that a tzaddik falls seven
times, and rises (Mishlei/Proverbs 24:16). Only by falling, explains Rav Hutner, is he able
to rise. Teshuvah raises us beyond the point which we could otherwise have reached. This
idea is lucidly expressed by Rambam.
5. Rambam, Hilchot Teshuvah 7:4 Baalei teshuvah are beloved, receive great
reward, and stand in a place where even the completely righteous cannot stand.
A baal teshuvah should not think that he is
less than a completely righteous person
because he did transgressions in the past. ,
Rather, a baal teshuvah is beloved and
, ,
cherished by God, as if he never
transgressed at all.
Additionally, his spiritual reward is great
since he has tasted sin and abandoned it, and ,
48

therefore he rules over his own drives. The "

Sages say, In the place where baalei teshuvah ,"
stand, even the completely righteous cannot ,
stand (Berachot 34b). This means that
.
baalei teshuvah achieve greater spiritual
heights than those who never transgressed,
since they have to exert themselves over
their lower drives [and thus exercise their
power of free will more often].
Now we can understand why Rabbi Yehudah HaNasi cried after learning of the teshuvah of
Rabbi Elazar ben Dordaya.
6. Rabbi Chaim Friedlander, Sifsei Chaim, Moadim, Vol. I, p.11 Why did Rabbi
Yehudah HaNasi cry?
Just as Elazar ben Dordaya was able to ...
ascend in a short moment from the depths " ,
of his transgression to be called a Rabbi, all ,
the more so ourselves if each of us would , , ,
take our lives seriously, not just for one
...!? ,
hour, but for several hours, days, months
and years can you imagine what we could
achieve?!
That is why Rabbi Yehudah HaNasi cried ,
because we neither see nor take advantage of
the tremendous Heavenly assistance that
."
God has granted each and every one of us.
Key Themes of Section II:

Teshuvah has the power not only to change a person from being wicked to
righteous, but can even have an impact on the past. A person can be
spiritually affected by a lifetimes worth of sin, yet cleanse himself entirely by
means of wholehearted repentance.

Furthermore, teshuvah can even change a persons sins into merits. The sins
are detached from the misdeed that created them, and become part of the
Divine plan itself.

A person must ultimately rely on himself to do teshuvah. God, however,

grants tremendous assistance to anyone who so desires. Teshuvah can even
be accomplished over a short period of time.

A concerted effort in doing teshuvah can enable a person to achieve

extraordinary levels of personal growth.

49

Section III. Teshuvah Will Bring the Redemption

As explained in the previous sections, repentance is not merely a private matter. It pertains
not only to the individual, but to the entire Jewish people, and even to the entire world. The
drawing close of teshuvah extends far beyond the personal sphere. The Talmud expresses
the great ramifications of teshuvah.
1. Talmud Bavli, Yoma 86b Teshuvah is great for it brings the Redemption.
Rabbi Yochanan said, Great is teshuvah for ) (
it brings the Redemption, as it is written, A []
Redeemer comes to Zion, and to those
among Jacob who repent from sin
.
(Yeshayahu 59:20). Why does a Redeemer
come to Zion? Because of those among
Jacob who repent from sin.
The final Redemption implies closeness to God and teshuvah means drawing close to
God. Teshuvah therefore brings the Redemption. Based on a different passage of the
Talmud, Rambam expresses a similar theme:
2. Rambam, Hilchot Teshuvah 7:5 If every Jewish person would do teshuvah, the
Redemption would come immediately.
The Jewish people will only be redeemed by ,
means of repentance. God guarantees us in
the Torah that the Jewish people will all do
, , ,
teshuvah at the end of their exile. When this
happens, the Redemption will come
immediately, as the Torah states:
If you return to God, [and listen to His ...]
' [ ..."
voice,
doing
everything
that
I
"...]' [
Moshe/Moses) am commanding you today]
God will then bring back your remnants
[and have compassion on you] [Devarim
30:1-3].
The Maharsha comments on the Talmud cited above that every person has to see
himself as if the balance of the worlds destiny is in his hands. His next mitzvah, and in
particular his act of teshuvah, is able to bring success and redemption to all mankind.
To conclude this first class on teshuvah, we will end with the following true and moving
story. It reminds us of our original definition of teshuvah returning to who we really
are.
My childhood best friends father traced his lineage back several generations to find that he was 1/16
Native American. Every year my friend would tell me the most amazing stories of his summer
adventures with American-Indians, and I would wish I wasnt born white. I didnt have any spiritual
heritage to speak of. To me, Judaism was nothing more than baggage. Like most American Jews, I felt
completely devoid of spirituality and cultural identity other than bagels and lox, which I didnt like. But
at the tender age of 13, I made up my mind I would find a people of my own someday with their own
unique spiritual tradition and rituals.

50

In high school I saw a few movies about Ireland and Scotland which sparked my imagination. I walked
out of the theater with an Irish accent that stayed with me for months. I studied Gaelic for a year in
school and listened exclusively to Irish music. I related to the struggles of the people as they fought for
nationhood and independence and even contemplated joining the IRA. I desperately wanted a people and
a cause worth dying for.
Sometime after my twentieth birthday, a friend of mine invited me to go for Shabbat to an ultraOrthodox community in Upstate New York. I had never been to a Shabbat meal before. Friday night I
entered our hosts home with trepidation. Rabbi Rosen and his family were warm and friendly and I
quickly got over my fear.
You know I didnt always look like this, he told me halfway through the meal. I was shocked. As his
story unfolded, I learned that he had grown up in a completely secular Jewish home, just as I had. At one
point he went to the wilderness of Montana to learn about American-Indian spiritual traditions. They
told him, You come from the holy white rock man Moses. Your people have great wisdom of their
own. Go back to your people! Rabbi Rosen arrived in New York City with two long braids on the side
of his head and started searching for a yeshivah where someone would teach him to reconnect with his
heritage. The rest is history. I was blown away. If he could give up all that and return to Judaism, maybe
it was worthwhile for me to check it out.
When I was offered a free trip to Israel, I jumped at the opportunity to learn more about my heritage. As I
walked off the plane, a feeling started to well up in my stomach. Only upon entering the stone ramparts of the
Old City of Jerusalem did it hit me why I felt so overwhelmed with emotion: a voice rose up from within that
simply said, Youre home.
One of the kids on the trip told us that he was a Kohen. His family had kept a record of their tribe for
2,000 years since the destruction of the Temple. I couldnt believe that such lineage was possible. I was jealous
that he belonged to such a special tribe. My family had no such record that I knew of. When I got home, I
told my father that one of the kids on the trip was a Kohen. Then he asked me, Do you want to know what
we are?
We know our tribe? I asked incredulously.
Of course, he said flatly. Levi. We were members of the tribe of Levi, the third son of Jacob, and I had
never known. The Levites were the musicians and the teachers who devoted themselves to spirituality and were
supported by tithes from the other tribes.
The irony was tangible. There I was, searching my whole life for a people and a tradition, yet it was in my
own backyard all along. For years I was envious of my best friend for his 1/16 Native American blood,
while feeling completely devoid of my own heritage. Meanwhile I could trace my line back thousands of years
all the way to Levi ben Yaakov, Levi the son of Jacob! A direct line to spiritual greatness, complete with a
homeland, a people, and a rich tradition. At last I had found my long-lost tribe!
Indeed I had unearthed the greatest treasure, right in my own backyard. (Gavriel Horan, Searching for My
Lost Tribe, aish.com)
Key Themes of Section III:

Repentance is not merely a private matter. It pertains not only to the

individual, but to the entire Jewish people, and even to the entire world. This
is because each persons teshuvah can help bring redemption to the world.
51

How does that work?

The final Redemption implies closeness to God and teshuvah means

drawing close to God. Teshuvah therefore brings the Redemption.

Class Summary:
What is the essence of teshuvah?
The word teshuvah means return. It is a dual process of returning to God, as well as
returning to the purity of ones soul. Teshuvah cleanses the soul from any impurities
caused by transgressions that form barriers between a person and God.
Why dont Jews use a confession box?
If a husband and wife feel distant, it is only they who can restore the warm intimacy to
their relationship. Similarly, if a person feels distant from God because of wrongdoings
that act as barriers, reconciliation can only be made directly with God. Only we can take
responsibility to restore our original closeness to God by removing these barriers.
Furthermore, the process of repentance involves more steps than just confession, as will
be discussed in the next class.
What is the power of teshuvah?
Teshuvah was created before the world itself and has the miraculous power to erase sin.
Furthermore, the highest level of teshuvah is able to turn sin into merit, and the concept
of teshuvah can be applied even without the existence of a preceding sin in moving a
distant world closer to God.
Can we do teshuvah without having sinned?
In the deepest sense, teshuvah is possible even without sin. It means bringing a distant
world closer to its Divine source.
How is teshuvah connected with the final Redemption?
The final Redemption implies closeness to God and teshuvah means drawing close to
God. Teshuvah therefore brings the Redemption.

52

Teshuvah Part II
The Journey Back
Each person has a unique combination of strengths and weaknesses, or, as the Sages put
it: every person is a small world (Avot dRabbi Natan 23:3). To improve and change
himself, a person will need to fine-tune and tailor the teshuvah process to take advantage
of his strengths and to overcome his weaknesses.
Thus, together with fulfilling the classic components of teshuvah to correct a wrongdoing
(regret, cessation, confession, resolution, and if necessary, asking forgiveness from
someone), a person also needs to have a broader approach to character change, addressing
the roots of his wrongdoing. These resources will conclude with some practical tools and
exercises.
This class will address the following questions:
What is the process of teshuvah?
Can I really resolve never to repeat a mistake?
What if you attempt to become reconciled with someone and he refuses your
request?
Why is teshuvah on ones character traits sometimes more important than
improving ones actions?
When should a person do teshuvah?
Outline:
Section I.

The Process of Teshuvah

Part A. Step 1: Regret (charatah - )
Part B. Step 2: Cessation (azivat hachet - )
Part C. Step 3: Confession (viduy - )Taking Responsibility
Part D. Step 4: Resolution for Future (kabalah lhabah )
Part E. Asking Forgiveness from Someone You Offended (mechilah -

)
Section II.

Broader Approaches to Teshuvah

Part A. Changing Your Character Traits
Part B. Raising Your Aspirations
Part C. Doing Good Deeds

Section III.

When Should a Person Do Teshuvah?

Part A. Teshuvah is for Every Day of Ones Life
Part B. Elul and the Ten Days of Repentance
Part C. Rosh HaShanah
Part D. Yom Kippur
Part E. Fast Days

Section IV.

Practical Tools for Teshuvah

53

Section I. The Process of Teshuvah

We all make mistakes. Almost every day we do things that we really dont want to be doing. Its a
fascinating phenomenon. When was the last time you had the following experience? You were confronted
with the opportunity to do something that you perceived as being wrong, something you clearly did not
want to do; but a funny thing happened The very act you didnt want to do, you did anyway.
Sometimes, we may even do harmful things, intentionally spread a rumor, lie, steal, be unfaithful, not
help someone in need. And then at some later time, we realized that these behaviors not only hurt others,
and ruined our relationships, they undermined our good essential selves. You decide, enough is enough; its
time to make amends for the past and work to prevent repeating negative behavior in the future. Where
do I begin? (See Shimon Apisdorf, Rosh HaShanah - Yom Kippur Survival Guide, Leviathan Press,
p. 101.)
Practically, teshuvah involves a number of components which involve introspection and
hard work, and ultimately leads to greatness.
1. Rambam (Maimonides), Hilchot Teshuvah (Laws of Repentance), 2:2, 9 The
components of teshuvah: regret, cessation, confession, resolution, and if necessary,
asking forgiveness from others.
How does one do teshuvah?
?

The transgressor stops doing the

transgression and removes it from his
thoughts.

He resolves that he will not do it again

in the future

...

He regrets [that which he did] in the

past

...

He verbally expresses his wrongdoings

to God and makes a verbal resolution
.
for the future.

Regarding wrongdoings against ones ...

fellow man: one must reimburse
whatever he owes him, and ask the . ...
other persons forgiveness.

The steps to teshuvah can be divided into past, present, and future (based on Rabbi
Mordechai Becher, Gateway to Judaism, p. 136):
Step 1

Action:
Related to the
Regret (charatah). Realize the extent of the damage
and feel sincere regret.
Past

54

Step 2

Cessation (azivat hachet). Immediately stop the

harmful action.

Step 3

Confession (viduy). Articulate the mistake

privately to God and ask for forgiveness.

Step 4

Resolution (kabalah lhabah). Make a firm

commitment not to repeat it in the future.
Future

Present

If the wrongdoing involves another person, a fifth component is then necessary asking
forgiveness (mechilah). We will now discuss each component in detail. The specific order of
the four steps below is outlined in the Sefer Charedim (Chapter 63). In practice, the order
may be varied.
Part A. Step 1: Regret (charatah - )
The first step is to recognize that one has done something wrong and to feel regret over
having done it.
Many people are confused between regret and guilt. This is the difference:
Regret is constructive
Guilt can be paralyzing
Regret is realizing that youve missed an Guilt is feeling like youre a bad and
opportunity, but that your essence remains worthless person.
pure.
The following example illustrates the difference:
During your first year as a Wall Street investor you get a private meeting with George Soros, the multibillionaire investor! For an hour he gives you all the tips about how to invest and make money on the
stock market. As you try not to gawk at the expensive furniture or get distracted by the view from the
40th floor, he tells you which companies to invest in and which to avoid.
Then the meeting ends. The days go by. You invest a little here and there, going on your own rather than
following his tips. A year later, after all his investment predictions came true, he invites you back to
follow up. Which do you say to him?
A. Mr. Soros, I feel so guilty I didnt listen to you. Im such a bad person for not following
your investment advice!
B. I really regret the past year. I missed out on a big financial opportunity. Listening to the
experts really does pay! (From a lecture by Rabbi Asher Resnick, Jerusalem)
Similarly, when we stand before God and look back at our past, we should regret the
mistakes and the missed opportunities, rather than feel guilty.
1. Selichot liturgy Regret is the feeling of, It just wasnt worth it. I cant believe I
missed the opportunity!
We turned away from Your mitzvot and
instructions, which are for our good, but it
.
wasnt worth it.
55

2. Rabbi E. E. Dessler, Michtav MEliyahu, Vol. II, pp. 79-80 The more one feels the sting of
regret, the more likely one is to change for the better. In fact, when we learn from our mistakes, God no
longer reckons them as mistakes, but rather as mitzvot!
The purpose of regret is to strengthen ones ,
commitment for the future. This is because
a commitment to improve is built on
recognizing the negativity of transgression
...
and feeling the sting of past mistakes
When a person feels true regret he comes to
realize that the transgression just wasnt
worth it It is the transgression itself that
caused him this awareness, and therefore he
returns to God out of love [rather than fear
of the consequences]. This is the meaning of
the statement, Great is teshuvah for it
converts transgressions into merits [Yoma
86b]. The transgressor was raised to a level
of great love for God due to the
transgressions, and therefore God judges
them as mitzvot!

...
,
[...
] :
" ,
.

As the next source describes, there are a number of obstacles in the path toward true
regret.
3. Rabbi Shraga Simmons, Teshuvah: Dry Cleaning for the Soul (aish.com)
clarify whats right and wrong so that you dont justify your actions and thereby
avoid having regret.
Sometimes, we try to justify our actions, using a variety of excuses:
Everyone else is doing it
At least Im not like some people who go around killing and stealing!
Who are you to say its wrong?!
Regret is not really possible unless we can clearly distinguish between right and wrong.
Otherwise, we will just rationalize and delude ourselves into thinking weve done nothing
wrong. The ever-changing, sliding standards of society contribute to this lack of clarity.
For example, imagine growing up in a house where gossip was constantly spoken. Unless
youre introduced to the Jewish idea of lashon hara (negative speech) and made aware of
its destructive nature, you may otherwise never consider gossip to be wrong!
For this reason, it is important to be familiar with halachah, Jewish law, and to have a
rabbi who knows you personally and can advise you

56

Part B. Step 2: Cessation (azivat hachet - )

Words can come easily. But actually stopping the harmful action shows a true
commitment to change. The following is a humorous example.
Youre out late at a party with friends. What a party! Fun, fun, fun, and then theres a downer. While
driving home you hear the dreaded sound police sirens in full blue and red technicolor. What could be
wrong? Youre under the speed limit. Youre not drunk. But your friend drops his stash of marijuana on
the floor of your car. Uh oh. After the car search and the polite request to identify this substance, sir,
youre charged for possession of marijuana. No-ooooo!!
The court date is set. You know this is serious business. Your lawyer tells you how to admit to the facts
and take responsibility to clean up your act. Then he adds, And remember: youre on trial for possession
of marijuana, so dont show up to court stoned! (Heard from Rabbi Noach Weinberg, Aish HaTorah,
Jerusalem.)
The message of this parable is: if youre trying to improve, make sure you stop the
negative action. The importance of this step, cessation, is illustrated by the next source.
1. Talmud Bavli (Babylonian Talmud), Taanit 16a Purification will only work if
you drop the source of impurity. Throw away the sheretz before you get in the
mikvah.
Rav Addah bar Ahavah said, Consider a :
person who is transgressing, and admits to ,
it, yet does not stop. He is like a person , -
who is holding a sheretz [impure animal]. -
Even if he tries to purify himself with all , .
the water in the world, it wont help. But as
. soon as he throws away the sheretz, and
submerges in a mikvah [purification bath],
he becomes pure!
Can you imagine trying to ask forgiveness from someone while you continue to wrong
him at the same time? Without stopping the negative action, all the intention in the
whole world wont help.
Part of stopping incorrect actions is making boundaries to prevent repeating them. This
is a crucial element of repentance, for it implies that one has learned from his previous
mistakes. Not only does a person cease to sin he even tries to ensure that he wont slip
up again.
2. Rabbeinu Bachya ibn Pakuda, Chovot HaLevavot (Duties of the Heart) 7:5,
The Gate of Teshuvah Be careful to keep away from things which may cause
you to repeat old mistakes.
[Part of stopping the transgression is:] , ,
avoid those things which lead to
transgression. This includes avoiding things : " ...
57

that are questionable As the Sages told

us, Make a boundary for the Torah
[Pirkei Avot/Ethics of the Fathers 1:1].

The following are examples of making a boundary to help one stop the negative action:
If you dont want to break your diet, dont bring chocolate into the house.
If you have an issue with drinking, hang out with friends who drink less, or not at all.
If you have a bad habit with the Internet, order a filtered Internet service.
Part C. Step 3: Confession (viduy - )Taking Responsibility
The third step is to tell God about it. Confession means verbally admitting your
wrongdoing to God alone, as the following source illustrates.
1. Rambam, Hilchot Teshuvah 1:1 It is a mitzvah to verbally admit to God that
you made a mistake or rebelled against Him.
If a person transgresses any of the mitzvot ,
in the Torah whether an obligation or ,
prohibition, whether it was intentional or ,
unintentional he should admit his ,
transgression before God when he does
teshuvah and stops the transgression. As it '
says, If a man or woman sins against his , ,
fellow man, thus being untrue to God and
.
becoming guilty of a crime, he must
confess the sin that he has committed
[Bamidbar/Numbers 5:6-7]. This is the
mitzvah to verbally confess to God.
How does one confess? Say to God [in any
language]: Please, Almighty, I have
transgressed accidentally, or with intent, or
by actively rebelling against you. I did the
following Now, I feel regret and
embarrassment about what I did, and
therefore I will never do it again [see Step 4
below]. This is the basic confession, but it
is praiseworthy to say more.

, , "
,

. ,"
.

The purpose of confession is for a person to tell himself, Thats not who I want to be.
Why must our feelings be expressed verbally? Furthermore, if God knows all our
thoughts and feelings, why do we need to tell Him? The next source will explain.
2. Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler, Michtav MEliyahu Vol. V, p. 260 Expressing feelings
with words makes them much more real and lasting. For this reason we express
our regret to God in a verbal confession.
From the fact that verbal confession is one
of the main ingredients in the mitzvah of
: .
teshuvah [as we see in the Rambam,
previous source], we learn the following:
58

It is not enough to have emotional or

intellectual insights and awakenings. We go
a step further and express it with words.
Because when you add words to
[transitory] thoughts and feelings, they
become fixed in a persons heart. By means
of speech, the spiritual level [attained by
teshuvah] is completed and secured.
Therefore, the prophet reminds us, Take
words with you and return to God [and say
to Him, May You forgive all wrongdoing
and accept good intentions, and let our lips
substitute for offerings Hoshea/Hosea
14:3].

,

.

.'" "

The verbal confession is more for our sake than for Gods. It helps to strengthen our
resolve by making our thoughts and feelings more concrete, closer to the realm of action.
As the next account shows, wholeheartedly admitting responsibility (true confession) is
not as easy as it sounds. In fact, it is excruciatingly difficult (see Orchot Chaim, Ch. 36).
We make excuses. We excel at rationalizing. But the person who wrenches from himself
the unpleasant truth, I have messed up, has performed a great and meaningful act.
Circuit Court Judge Alice Gilbert had an innovative idea. She required every person convicted in her
courtroom for crimes ranging from manslaughter to passing bad checks to write an essay answering
the following questions: How did my crime affect me? My family? My community? What can be done to
prevent such crimes in the future?
On a recent visit to Michigan, I stayed with Judge Gilbert (who happens to be my cousin). I was
intrigued by her brilliant idea. Always interested in the process of changing human behavior, I asked to
read some of the essays.
I picked out the most severe crimes: a drunken driver who had killed a teenage boy; a guy who had
robbed a gas station and killed a hapless customer. With great anticipation, I sat down to read these
dramatic confrontations of human beings with their shadow selves, the flood of regret surely unleashed by
such honest soul-searching.
No go! What I read instead was essay after essay explaining why the writer was not really guilty of the
crime. Totally ignoring the four questions, each convict wrote at length of how events had conspired to
produce the horrific outcome and that it was absolutely, positively not the fault of the writer! (Sara
Yocheved Rigler, The Crime I Didnt Commit, aish.com)
We have to take responsibility for our actions and admit to them. To illustrate this point,
one of the requests in the daily Shemoneh Esrei is for teshuvah. The request is not
phrased as, Blessed are You, God, Who returns us to You. Rather it reads, Who
wants us to return to You. God can only want us to return, so to speak, but we have to take
the responsibility and take the first step ourselves.
Part D. Step 4: Resolution for the Future (kabalah lhabah )

59

The fourth step is resolving not to repeat the transgression in the future. Although it may
seem daunting to commit to never repeating a bad habit, the following source describes
how it can be done piece by piece.
1. Rabbi Chaim Friedlander, Sifsei Chaim, Vol. I, p. 269 Make a firm resolution
to fix at least part of a transgression. This contributes to the goal of fixing the
entire transgression.
Every transgression has a number of parts ,
and aspects to it. Furthermore, there are
certain times and situations where it is ,
easier to avoid the transgression, and other
times when it is a tremendous moral , : .
struggle (nisayon). For example, misusing
the opportunity to study Torah (bitul ,
Torah): in some situations a person can
...
easily overcome his yetzer hara (evil
inclination) to waste time, and other times
it is a great struggle
Therefore, a person should identify the ,
easiest parts of a transgression in order to ,
address and correct them first. This is not , " ,
only because he will find it easier to correct
.
them, but also because his resolution for
the future will be firmer.

Therefore, one can achieve complete
" ... .
teshuvah regarding even the components

of a transgression Nevertheless, a

person must continue to desire to rise to
.
higher spiritual levels by correcting all the
components of this transgression, and
every other transgression.
When a person is inspired to improve, his burning desire for perfection may lead him to
take spiritual leaps and bounds. This method can be dangerous. As we saw in the
previous source, steady self-development, one step at a time, is usually the recommended
strategy. An example of the latter is the following:
A person has a problem speaking negatively about others. He knows theres a certain friend with whom he
speaks lashon hara over the first cup of coffee of the morning. Although he cannot change his speaking habits
all at once, he is able to commit to avoid speaking to his friend until later in the day, when the topic of
conversation may be different.
2. Rabbi Shraga Simmons, Teshuvah: Dry Cleaning for the Soul (aish.com)
Commit to move in the right direction even if you might still make mistakes.
Resolving for the future? How can I make a commitment to never sin ever again? Is this
realistic?
Imagine a new child taking his first steps in front of the proud parents. He gets to his
feet, takes a few steps and collapses. The parents clap with excitement and joy. But if

60

you analyze the scenario, shouldnt the parents be upset? After all, the child fell down!
The answer is obvious. A parent doesnt judge a child based on whether he walks or falls,
but rather on whether he took a few steps in the right direction.
So, too, with the Almighty. We are not in competition with anyone but ourselves. What
concerns Him is whether were making a sincere effort to move in the right direction.
God doesnt ask you to change in an area that is not yet feasible for you to change. We
are commanded to be human beings, not angels. This means making a serious
commitment to change and taking the right steps at the right time Nothing that can
stand in the way of persistence and determination. As the Talmud states, In the way that
a person wants to go, he will be led (Makkot 10b).
Resolving for the future means, Ill improve in the future even when Im tired, cranky,
disappointed (Rabbi Yitzchak Berkovits). The future serves as the litmus test for our
repentance. If one manages to keep ones commitment, even in a difficult situation, then
he has achieved complete teshuvah, as the following source describes.
3. Rambam, Hilchot Teshuvah 2:1 If ones resolution is strong enough to
prevent transgression when the opportunity arises again, then this is complete
teshuvah.
When is ones teshuvah complete?
?
If he has an opportunity to repeat a ,
transgression, but instead he resists not ,
because of fear [of being discovered] or
.
lack of strength but because of his
teshuvah, then this persons teshuvah is
complete.
For example: a person once transgressed
with a woman. At a later time, he is alone . ,
with her with the same desire. He has the ,
same strength and they are in the same : ,
place, and he resists and does not
.
transgress this is complete teshuvah.
One should certainly not deliberately place himself in a situation where he might be
tempted to sin; even without the situation coming about, God knows when a persons
repentance is complete (Sefer Chasidim 157; Shaarei Teshuvah 1:49).
Part E. Asking Forgiveness from Someone You Offended (mechilah - )
The above steps are to repair transgressions in the relationship between man and God (bein
adam lMakom). Regarding the relationships with ones fellow man (bein adam lchavero), an
additional component of asking for forgiveness, and if necessary making financial
reimbursement, is required.
1. Rabbi Yosef Karo, Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 606:1 Ask forgiveness from
somebody you offended, even if it was only a verbal offense. This must be done
three times, if necessary.
For wrongdoings against ones fellow man
61

one must ask forgiveness from the offended ;

party. Without this Yom Kippur will not
; ,
atone for the transgression. Even if one
offended the person with words alone
[without financial or physical harm], one
must still ask forgiveness.
If the offended party does not forgive him
the first time, the offender must repeat his
plea a second and third time accompanied
by three other people. [Each reconciliation
should be attempted in a different manner
Mishnah Berurah.] If the offended party
still refuses to grant forgiveness, one is no
longer required to persist.

,
,
- [
,] "
..

2. Mishnah Berurah 606:1 Pay back any money that is owed, even if the victim
does not know that it is still owed to him.
If one stole or overcharged one must pay
back the money or items Even if the ...
other person does not know that he has a ",
legal claim to the money you are holding, .
you must inform him. At the very least, put
the matter straight according to the truth, . ,
with the advice of a competent Halachic ,
authority. The general principle is [use a
.
third party and] do not rely on your own
judgment when it comes to monetary
disputes, since a persons bias (yetzer hara)
will convince him that everything is
permissible.
If one caused mental anguish along with the financial damage, payment is not sufficient
and the offender must also ask forgiveness from the other person (Rambam, Hilchot
Teshuvah 2:9). For example:
One winter day, a boy threw a rock and broke the window of a classroom, leaving the students shivering
in the cold. The principal told the boy that payment for the window would not be sufficient, and that he
must ask the students forgiveness for the discomfort he caused them (Rabbi Avrohom Ehrman, Journey
to Virtue, p. 171).
If one spoke lashon hara about someone else, then one should consult with a Halachic
authority about how to ask for forgiveness. This is because if you inform the person that
you spoke slander about him, it may further hurt his feelings and exacerbate the original
mistake (Sefer Chofetz Chaim, Hilchot Lashon Hara 4:12, Beer Mayim Chaim 4:48;
Moadim uZmanim 1:54).
The next source illustrates how important it is to grant as well as receive forgiveness.

62

3. Rabbi Avraham Danzig, Prayer for Yom Kippur Eve (Tefillah Zakkah) We
extend forgiveness to everyone on Yom Kippur even those who did not ask for it
in order that they should have the opportunity to do teshuvah.
But since I know that there is hardly a
righteous person in the world who never ,
sins between man and his fellow, either .
monetarily or physically, in deeds or in
speech, therefore my heart aches within
...
me, because for a sin between man and his
neighbor, Yom Kippur does not atone
until one appeases his neighbor

Therefore, I extend complete forgiveness . .
to everyone who has sinned against me, . .
whether physically or monetarily, or who .
has gossiped about me or even slandered ...
me. So, too, to anyone who has injured me,
either physically or financially, regarding
:
any interpersonal law And just as I
forgive everyone, so may You grant me
favor in every persons eyes, so that he will
grant me complete forgiveness.
Key Themes of Section I:

The teshuvah process consists of the following four steps:

1. Regret (charatah). Realize the extent of the damage and feel sincere regret
that it just wasnt worth it. Regret is constructive since it spurs you on to
realize your potential. Guilt is paralyzing since it just makes you feel bad
about yourself.
2. Cessation (azivat hachet). Immediately stop the harmful action. Without
cessation its like trying to purify in a mikvah while holding a source of
impurity. Or its like pleading your case to the judge while stoned!
3. Confession (viduy). Articulate the mistake privately to God and ask for
forgiveness. In this way one is taking responsibility for his actions.
Additionally, expressing your feelings with words makes them much more
real and lasting.
.

4. Resolution for the future (kabalah lhabah). Make a firm commitment not to
repeat the wrongdoing in the future. Although you may fall again, your
resolve to move in the right direction is extremely valuable. If thats too
much, one can start by fixing at least one aspect of the transgression.

If the wrongdoing involves another person, a fifth component is necessary:

one must ask forgiveness (mechilah) and if necessary reimburse the
offended individual.

In practice, the order of the teshuvah process may be varied.

63

Section II. Broader Approaches to Teshuvah

Apart from the classic steps of teshuvah to correct mistaken past actions, as discussed
above, one of the central themes of repentance is self-improvement. In this section we will
examine the concept and methods of character improvement, addressing the deep roots of
personal wrongdoing.
Part A. Changing Your Character Traits
This is what teshuvah requires, a thorough search of ones character to discover what allowed the transgression
to occur, and then making the necessary changes in ones character to prevent the recurrence of the misdeed.
(Rabbi Avraham J. Twerski, Let Us Make Man, CIS Publications, p. 82).
1. Rambam, Hilchot Teshuvah 7:3 One must also do teshuvah on his character
traits and life attitudes. This can be harder than improving ones outward actions.
It is a mistake to think that teshuvah is
required only for actions done with ones
,
body, such as immoral relations, theft, or
robbery.
Rather, one is required to search out and do
teshuvah even for negative character traits
and incorrect life attitudes. Examples
requiring teshuvah include: anger; hatred;
jealousy; mockery; excessively chasing after
money, honor, and food; and all similar
negative traits.

,

, , , ,
,
.

,
These character faults are harder to deal with
than wrong actions, because it is very
.
difficult to eradicate a character fault that is
enmeshed [in ones personality].
2. Rabbi Yechezkel Levenstein, Ohr Yechezkel, Vol. II, Sichot Elul, p. 35
Character improvement is central to Judaism. Improving ones character can be
more important than improving ones actions.
There is a great obligation to uproot our ... ...
character faults Though we may think
that character improvement is an optional, ...
extra step for the saintly in truth
character improvement is one of the basic
...
principles of Judaism. Sometimes character
faults can be more serious than
transgressions themselves

64

Therefore, one must be more careful in

improving ones character traits than with
refraining from sins, since their proper " .
development relates to the entire Torah
...
3. The Vilna Gaon, Even Shleimah, Ch. 1 The purpose of life is to perfect ones
character.
Man was created in order to refine his
negative character traits. If a person does
. .
not do this, then why is he alive?
As the following story illustrates, improving oneself ultimately leads one to improve the
world.
In 1923, the Chofetz Chaim was asked to be the keynote speaker at the first Agudath Israel convention in
Vienna. He was asked specifically to speak on the subject of how he became the Chofetz Chaim the
world-renowned leader of Torah Jewry.
The Chofetz Chaim answered that he saw the deficiencies in the Jewish world and he decided he had to
change things. So he tried to change the Jewish world, and he couldnt. So he said he would change the Jews of
his country, Poland. He tried, and he couldnt. So he said he would change the Jews of his town, Radin. He
tried to change the Jews of his town, Radin, and he couldnt. So he said he would change the Jews of his
synagogue. He tried, and he couldnt. So he said he would change the members of his family. He tried, and he
couldnt.
So finally he said, Let me change myself. And when he changed himself, he became the Chofetz Chaim
and he was able to change the Jews of the world. (Rabbi Jeff Forsythe, shemayisrael.com)
Part B. Raising Your Aspirations
I was the most popular girl in college. I had friends. I was pretty. There were parties on Thursday night,
Friday night, and Saturday night. I was living the Hollywood dream that I had aspired to since seeing
my first episode of Beverly Hills 90210. I had made it!
After a night on the town, I woke up one Friday morning. All my girlfriends had slept over that night.
It was 11am and we were already planning where to go that night, who would be there, and what to
drink. Hopes were high for another night of fun.
I sat there listening, absorbed in my own thoughts. I considered doing this for another two years of college,
or for another 20 years of life. And then it hit me, This is it?! Another round of parties, just like last
week? This is my whole life?! This is as good as life gets?!
And so it was, on that fateful Friday morning, unbeknown to any of my friends, I realized that my 13year-old life aspirations to emulate the characters of Beverly Hills 90210 had just expired.
I didnt know where I was going yet, but I knew I could aspire to more than just parties, beers, and
hangovers. (True story told by S.T., Chicago.)
While a person can certainly improve his actions and his character, his scope for change is
defined by his aspirations. In the next source we will see how important raising our
aspirations can be.

65

1. Rabbi Yitzchak Berkovits, Jerusalem, Speech on first night of Selichot (2008)

Real teshuvah means the ability to think differently about what you can expect
from yourself.
Theres a fundamental problem when it comes to teshuvah. Because who sets the
standards? Us. And who says were setting the right standards? Us. And who says that we
expect enough of ourselves? Us.
Stories are told of great people: had they remained normal people and not become
great by exerting themselves, they may have gotten to Heaven and found out that they
were guilty of murder since they denied the Jewish people of so much.
And we say the same too: Some day Ill be great, but this is good enough for where I
am now. And besides I have to be normal! So, Ill be small. And Im staying small and
thats ok.
Thats our teshuvah? The real process has to be taking dreams and turning them into
reality. Changing what you can expect of yourself. Our perceptions of ourselves, our
conceptualizations of ourselves are within the realm of comfortable. Leave your comfort
levels today! If you have dreams for the future, they will always remain for the future,
unless you can let go of comfort and think realistically: How can I demand more of
myself in Torah study, in character refinement, in my acts of kindness? How can I make
prayer be an emotional experience, where I sing and feel the verses? That when I say the
Shema, nothing else exists except Him?
Take a step outside of yourself and ask yourself: What do I need to do in order to
change the way I think? Real teshuvah means to have the strength to think about what
you were too uncomfortable to think about yesterday, and turn our dreams into reality.
What has to change today? For real! Ill be good, Ill be good, means nothing without a
concrete plan.
If you do the same old teshuvah as in the past, and last year it didnt move you, then its
not going to move you now. It didnt work and it doesnt work. So think differently this
time.
Part C. Doing Good Deeds
Although the initial steps of teshuvah consist of regret, cessation, confession, and resolution
(see Section I), a higher form of teshuvah consists of doing good deeds (Zohar 3:123a). As
King David summarizes, Depart from evil, and do good (Tehillim/Psalms 34:15).
Essential elements of this higher form of teshuvah involving good deeds are: prayer, deeds
of kindness to others, and the study of Torah (Emunos v Deos 5:5; Berachot 5b).
The next source elaborates:
1. Rabbeinu Yonah, Shaarei Teshuvah 1:35 Do good deeds with the same
enthusiasm and the same parts of the body with which one transgressed.
The Sages tell us, If you did bundles of :) , (
transgressions, now do bundles of good
deeds (Vayikra/Leviticus Rabbah 21:4). If - ,
ones legs ran to do transgressions, now run - ,
to do mitzvot. If ones tongue lied, then use ,
66

ones tongue to speak truth, wisdom, and -

teachings of kindness. If ones hands spilt ...
blood, then open your hands to give to your
.
needy brother If you once caused fights,
now pursue peace.
For example, someone who wishes to do teshuvah for verbal abuse, theft and so on, should
try to teach and spread knowledge of these mitzvot and prohibitions and encourage others
to observe them (Rabbi Avrohom Ehrman, Journey to Virtue 18:25).
The following story about the origin of the Nobel Prize illustrates this point.
Alfred Nobel was born on October 21, 1833 in Stockholm, Sweden, into a family of engineers. He was a
chemist, engineer, and inventor. Nobel amassed a fortune during his lifetime, most of it from his 355
inventions, of which dynamite is the most famous.
In 1888 he had the opportunity to read his own obituary while still alive. In truth, Alfreds brother
Ludwig had died and the mistaken publication of Alfreds obituary by a French newspaper, condemning
his invention of dynamite, is said to have made him decide to leave a better legacy to the world after his
death. The obituary stated, The merchant of death is dead, and went on to say, Dr. Alfred Nobel,
who became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster than ever before, died yesterday.
Nobel was disappointed with what he read and concerned with how he would be remembered. He decided
that he should bring good to the world as well, and so he invested $4.2 million (in 1896 currency, which
is $103 million in 2007 currency) to start a fund to encourage outstanding progress in peace, medicine,
literature, physics, chemistry, and physiology. An annual prize would be given to those who conferred the
greatest benefit on mankind. Hence, the inventor of dynamite started the Nobel Prize. (From
Encyclopedia Britannica, and The Life of Alfred Nobel.)
Key Themes of Section II:

The teshuvah process includes changing ones character. Although this may
be harder than changing ones outward actions, it is of great importance,
since changing ones character is like treating the causes of a problem,
whereas changing ones actions is like treating the symptoms.

Even more significant than changing our character traits is examining the
standards we hold ourselves to and modifying our aspirations in life.

Another approach to teshuvah is to do good deeds with the same enthusiasm

and in the same areas in which one transgressed.

An important addition is that the process of self-perfection, like the

resolution for the future of the previous section, is a gradual process. If
Rome wasnt built in a day, all the more so a person cannot be built in a
day. The most important thing is that we move in the right direction.

67

Section III. When Should a Person Do Teshuvah?

Are there specific times when one should do teshuvah? Or perhaps there are days when it
should be avoided?
Part A. Teshuvah is for Every Day of Ones Life
The following source, take from the standard daily prayers, indicates that teshuvah can, and
should be done at any time.
1. Shemoneh Esrei, ArtScroll Complete Siddur, p. 102 Three times a day we ask
God to help us return to Him.
Bring us back, our Father, to Your Torah, ,
and bring us near, our King, to Your service. . ,
And influence us to return in perfect
. ,'
repentance before You. Blessed are You,
God, Who desires repentance.
2. Midrash, Devarim Rabbah 2:12 The gates of teshuvah are always open.
The gates of teshuvah are always open.
.
The doors of teshuvah only remain open as long as a person is alive. After death, the doors
are closed and teshuvah is not possible (Kohelet/Ecclesiastes 9:10). Our Sages teach us that
just as additional oil cannot rekindle an extinguished lamp, so teshuvah cannot redeem an
extinguished life (Yalkut Shimoni ibid.). The following source elaborates on this point.
3. Talmud Bavli, Shabbat 153a Since a person does not know how long he will live,
he should do teshuvah everyday.
Rabbi Eliezer said, Return [i.e. do teshuvah] ". "
one day before your death.
Rabbi Eliezers students asked him, [How "
is this possible?] Does a person know on
"?
which day he will die?
"
He replied, [Youre right, a person does not
."
know when he will die,] therefore a person
should do teshuvah today, in case he dies
tomorrow. In this way he will have done
teshuvah every day.
Based on this a person should always see himself as if he were about to die. This way he will
do teshuvah immediately if he transgresses (Rambam, Hilchot Teshuvah 7:2).

68

Every moment of life is like a precious coin with which to pay our fare across the river of this world. Even if
many coins have been wasted, as long as one remains, there is always hope of crossing the river to our
destination (Chovot HaLevavot 7:10, end).
This is poignantly illustrated by the following story.
Late one night, R Yisrael Salanter chanced to enter a shoemakers home. The shoemaker was sitting and
doing his work by the flickering light of a candle that was about to go out. Why are you still working?
asked R Yisrael. The hour is late. Besides your candle will go out soon and you wont be able to finish.
Thats no problem, answered the shoemaker. As long as the candle is burning, it is still possible to work
and to repair.
R Yisrael was deeply impressed by these words, for if one must work for his physical needs as long as the
candle is lit, how much more so must a person work for his spiritual improvement as long as the soul
Gods candle is in him (Sparks of Mussar, edited by Rabbi Chaim Ephraim Zaitchik).
So precious is teshuvah, that even on the last day of ones life a person does teshuvah and
says a confession (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 338).
Part B. Elul and the Ten Days of Repentance
Although one can always do teshuvah, God has set aside the ten days between Rosh
HaShanah and Yom Kippur inclusively as the special Ten Days of Teshuvah (Rosh
HaShanah 18a). As the next source describes, the Hebrew month of Elul (lasting 30 days)
serves as a preparation to the Ten Days of Teshuvah.
1. Rabbi Eliyahu Kitov, Sefer HaTodaah (The Book of Our Heritage), p. 651
From the beginning of Elul we begin returning to our Beloved.
I am for my Beloved, and my Beloved is .) ," " (
for me (Shir HaShirim/Song of Songs
6:3).
The Hebrew first letters of the above verse . :
spell Elul. During this month, the Jewish ,
people strengthen themselves to do " :
teshuvah and come close to their Beloved,
.
The Holy One. At the same time, God also
stretches out His hand to accept the Jewish
people and comes close to them.

Each word in the verse ends with the letter , " ,"
yud. Four times yud equals forty, which ,
hints at the forty days that are set aside for
.
teshuvah from the beginning of Elul until
Yom Kippur.
The next source addresses the question: what is the difference between the teshuvah of Elul
and the Ten Days of Teshuvah?

69

2. Rabbi Shimshon Pinkus, The Days of Awe, p. 289 During Elul we do teshuvah
on our actions, but during the Ten Days of Repentance we can do teshuvah on who
we are.
There is in fact a fundamental difference
between Elul and the Ten Days of
.
Repentance, which starts with Rosh
HaShanah.
The main concept of teshuvah throughout
the year and during Elul is teshuvah for
individual deeds. We return from each and
every transgression. In contrast, during the
Ten Days of Teshuvah we focus on
improving the essence of the person himself

, ,
,
.

... .

" "
Because we are unable to turn into new , " ,
people without help, God enters the picture.
!] " [
This is the teshuvah of Rosh HaShanah and
the Ten Days of Repentance!

Part C. Rosh HaShanah

The Ten Days of Teshuvah are initiated by Rosh HaShanah, whose main symbolic
commandment is the sounding of the shofar (hollowed out rams horn). As the next source
describes, one of the symbolisms of the shofar is to awaken our hearts to God.
1. Rambam, Hilchot Teshuvah 3:4 The shofar on Rosh HaShanah is the ultimate
spiritual alarm clock.
The sound of the shofar on Rosh HaShanah ", ...
symbolizes the following message, Sleepers, ,
wake up! Slumberers, regain consciousness! , ,
Examine your actions, and return with , ,
teshuvah. Remember your Creator, those of ,
you who forget the truth in the vicissitudes .
of time, those of you who waste the years
". , ,
with insignificance. Look into your souls,
improve your ways!
Part D. Yom Kippur
1. Rambam, Hilchot Teshuvah 2:7 Yom Kippur is an auspicious time for teshuvah,
and therefore we confess numerous times on this day!
Yom Kippur is an auspicious time for , ,
teshuvah for everyone for individuals and ...
for the community as a whole Therefore, ,
everyone is obligated to do teshuvah and to ...
confess on Yom Kippur the first ,
70

confession is said in the afternoon service

(Minchah) before the pre-Yom Kippur meal;
then again in the evening service (Maariv);
again in the morning service (Shacharit); and
in the additional service (Mussaf); in the
afternoon service; and the closing service
(Neilah).

. , ,

Part E. Fast Days

Finally, the five annual fast days (Fast of Gedalya, 10th of Tevet, Fast of Esther, 17th of
Tammuz, Tishah BAv) are special times of introspection and returning to God.
1. Mishnah Berurah 549:1 The purpose of a fast day is to improve oneself
refraining from food is secondary.
On a fast day every person should engage ,
in introspection, evaluate his actions, and ,
do teshuvah because the essence of the ' "
day is not merely to abstain from food. Just " " '
as it is written regarding the people of ' ' '
Nineveh: And God saw their [improved]
.
behavior. The Sages explain: it does not
say that God saw their fasting and sack
clothes, but rather that He saw their
[improved] behavior [Taanit 16a]. For
fasting is only a preparation for teshuvah.

Therefore, those people who go for strolls
and waste away the day when they fast,
...
have placed that which is secondary
[fasting from food] over that which is
primary [teshuvah].
Key Themes of Section III:

When a person leaves this world, he can no longer change himself or correct
his past. Since a person never knows when he will die, he should therefore
consider every day to be his last. In other words, a person should do
teshuvah everyday of his life.

The Ten Days of Repentance (from Rosh HaShanah to Yom Kippur) and
the month of Elul which precedes it, have been set aside by God specifically
for the purpose of teshuvah. This theme is keenly reflected by the shofar
blasts on Rosh HaShanah the ultimate spiritual alarm clock and the
confessions of Yom Kippur.

Additionally, the purpose of the five annual fast days is to improve

ourselves refraining from food is secondary.

71

Section IV. Practical Tools for Teshuvah

Is this section we will present practical tools for life-changing teshuvah.
1. Rabbi Noach Weinberg, Spiritual Accounting System (aish.com) Everyone
has to ask himself: Why am I alive? What am I living for?
If you ask someone: Are you eating to live, or living to eat? Of course hell tell you hes
eating to live.
Now ask him: What are you living for? He wont always have a good answer, but at least
you made him think about what hes doing in life. Unfortunately the majority of
humanity is very busy doing and accomplishing, but they dont know for what
A man I know in Jerusalem was accidentally shot, and as a result became a paraplegic.
While lying in the hospital, he was faced with this question: What is life all about? What
am I living for? Today he will tell you that God did him a great favor by paralyzing him;
otherwise he may have gone through his entire life without ever asking this fundamental
and crucial question
The biggest individual fence against wasting your life is Cheshbon Hanefesh Spiritual
Accounting. You need a regular system to evaluate how well you performed and take
stock of where you stand.
The following questions are suggested to help a person take stock of his life:
1. How do you wish to be remembered after you die? What impact do you wish your
life to have? In other words: what are you living for?
One quick way to wake yourself up to where you are going with your life is to imagine
being conscious at your own eulogy. What will people say about you? Mr. Porter
earned $50,000 a year, owned a yacht, and paid his parking tickets on time? What do
you want them to say about you? Nows the time to figure out what the answer to that
question is, and the rest of your life is for making yourself into the kind of person they
can talk about in that way.
2. If you had one year left to live, how would you spend your time?
Dont evade the question; for some people, this will be their last year of life. This
question forces us to cut through the trivial and focus on our key priorities in life.
3. What is the purpose of life? Write a short, succinct personal life mission statement
that reflects your answers.
4. What did I do today to fulfill my purpose in life? (Based on Rabbi Noach Weinberg.)

72

Another technique is to monitor ones performance in the three areas of:

1. Relationships with others (bein adam lchavero)
2. Relationships with God (bein adam lMakom)
3. Relationships with yourself (bein adam latsmo)
Pick a very small point for improvement in all three areas and then chart your progress,
as in the following example (based on Rabbi Asher Resnick, Jerusalem):
Mon

Tues

Wed

Thurs

Fri

Shabbat Sun

Relationships
with
others:
Find
one
opportunity to extend
kindness to others
each day.
Relationships with God:
Recite the Shema
each night before
going to sleep.
Relationships
with
yourself: Think ten
seconds to formulate a
calm response in an
anger-prone situation.
2. Rabbi Yitzchak Berkovits, Jerusalem, heard in person Identify your
personality strengths, which really define who you are. Then pick one obstacle to
remove that is preventing you from becoming great in that strength.
People mistakenly think that self-awareness means knowing ones shortcomings. But
more important and fundamental is knowing your strengths. The form that your
greatness will take depends on what strengths God gave you personally. So therefore:
Step 1: Write down all the strengths that God gave you.
Figure out what strengths youve been given. Ask yourself: in what way do you think
youre special? Were not talking about skills like playing music or dancing well, but
rather some aspect of your personality thats expressed as music or dance: sensitivity,
creativity, stamina, love of life, making other people happy. Include everything.
The goal is not to become someone else. Who said youre meant to be what you read in
the biographies about great people? Granted every Jew is meant to be great, without
exception, but its your greatness thats required.
Step 2: Write down whats blocking you from becoming great in each strength.
You have to answer:
What shortcomings stand in the way of my developing each of these strengths
fully?
So why am I not great in these strengths? Why am I just potential?
Step 3: Pick one (or two) obstacles to work on.
73

Once you identify who you are i.e. what personality strengths you have and whats
holding you back, start working on those blocks. Start with the easiest obstacle that
presents itself in a certain situation. Then keep a record of your progress (either on paper
or mentally). As long as the block is still present, and is a bit of a struggle, do not go
further. Keep at it until the obstacle is removed and the strength can come out. Once its
easy, move on to the next obstacle to actualize the next strength.
In summary: isolate blocks, and when they become easy to deal with, move on. This way
you build a momentum. And youll see that improving your character is exciting.
For example:
Laziness: Even though you could be disciplined, you have a habit of giving in to laziness. You might not
brush your teeth before going to sleep, even though you want to. Keep a mental record. When you see that
its easy for you to brush your teeth at night, pick another block such as maintaining a proper sleeping
schedule.
Discipline: You want to study for an upcoming test, but you find that speaking on your cell phone or
texting always interrupts things. Isolate the first 20 minutes of your study session. And turn off your
phone for those 20 minutes. Once this is easy to do, then you can build up to longer periods.
Key Themes of Section IV:

A person has to regularly examine: What am I living for? If I had one year
left to live, how would I spend my time? These types of questions help a
person take stock of his life. They re-focus him on the big picture.

Its much more important to identify your strengths than your weaknesses.
Your strengths are who you really are. Your weaknesses are just obstacles
that stand in the way. Undertake an incremental program to remove one
block at a time, to become truly great.

Class Summary:
What is the process of teshuvah?
The basics of teshuvah consist of four components: regret, cessation, confession, and
resolution for the future. All of these components are essential for a persons
repentance to be complete.
Can I really resolve never to repeat a mistake?
Although it may seem daunting to commit to never repeat a mistake, it is possible to
make incremental improvement. Make a firm resolution to fix at least part of a
transgression. This contributes to the goal of fixing the entire transgression. Resolve
to move in the right direction even if you repeat mistakes.

What if you attempt to become reconciled with someone and he refuses your
request?

74

If one harmed or hurt another person (even emotionally), one must ask forgiveness and
reimburse him. If the offended party does not grant forgiveness the first time, the
offender must repeat his plea a second and third time accompanied by three other
people. If the offended party still refuses to grant forgiveness, one is no longer
required to persist.

Why is teshuvah on ones character traits sometimes more important than

improving ones actions?
Although changing ones outward actions may be easier, it is more important to change
ones character, since changing ones character is like treating the causes of a problem,
whereas changing ones actions is like treating the symptoms. A person should not be
alarmed if he sees that there is much to change and refine. Everyone has much to
change, and teshuvah is a gradual process. The main thing is the direction.
When should a person do teshuvah?
Every day! After one leaves this world, one can no longer change oneself or correct his
past. Since a person never knows when he will die, he should therefore consider every
day to be his last. Additionally, certain dates on the Jewish calendar are dedicated to
teshuvah: Yom Kippur, Rosh HaShanah, and fast days.

Wishing all hitoreri readers a

kesiva vchasima tova
and thank you for your encouragement and support.

Aryeh Goldman
Hitoreri.com

75