1

Chapter I
The Problem and Its Background
This chapter represents the problem and its setting, the introduction,
rationale of the study and the qualitative research, theoretrical framework,
assumptions, significance of the study, scope and limitation and definition of
terms.
Introduction
The 20th century has brought about a revolution of change in the Filipino
families. Todays families are deviating more and more from the traditional family
structure where the father is the breadwinner and the mother is in the role of the
primary child care provider and home maker. Now a days, womens or mothers
tends to be active in workplaces but still unrepresented in some area of
workforce such as engineering and the physical science and tend to dominate
other fields such as education, psychology, nursing and allied health. To
effectively meet the needs of the family within these sociological landscapes,
families are required to be more flexible than ever.
Some of the families with both the mother and the father who works often
leave their children to babysitters or close relatives, but not anyone can afford
babysitters or sometimes relationship with the relatives was not that close and
that would certaintly leave one choice and that is to choose either the mother or
the father to be stayed at home and do home keeping and be a child care
provider and the other one to stand in place of a breadwinner.

In recent years, the Philippines has experienced dramatic growth in

overseas migration and it can be the most common reason families choose the
mother to be the one whos working abroad and the father to be a
househusband. Meanwhile, their husbands are in the Philippines, exploring new
territory in a conservative, predominantly Catholic country, which still believes
that a real man financially supports his family which can eventually bruised his
ego as their wives becomes their source of income.
House husband is both complex and historically engrained. It is a
relatively new trend concerning changes in the concept of marriage, masculinity
and cultural norms of the male sex roles. This new trend of husband staying
home with kids, bringing them to school every day, doing the laundry, cleaning
the plates, cooking and teaching the kids with their assignments can also bring
us the concept of the sensitive New Age guy masculinity and it has also grown
in popularity the landmark theme of Nurturer: men [who] are gentle, supportive,
warm, sensitive, and concerned about others' feelings, to be one of the
dominant themes or ideals underscoring masculinity.
Masculinity is a set of attributes, behaviors and roles generally associated
with boys and men. It is a combination of socially-defined and biological factors.
It is important for a house husband to maintain their masculine identity rather
than be subsumed into a feminized Mr. Mom identity. In short, the men are at a
loss when it comes to parenting. There would come a time where father will ask
themselves these questions How do I discipline my child? How do I divide the
household chores? a matter that usually only solo mothers complain.

Most of the house husband used to have a stable job and had to leave to
take charge in being the Ilaw ng tahanan and Haligi ng tahanan while the
mother is gone and working. Suddenly they began to lose their hold in the
financial and changing their paper works into diaper and cleaning household
chores.
House husband would start the battle with their insecurities about their
own parenting abilities and if other people see them changing diapers or waiting
in the playground or even washing the laundry it will make them feel like theyre
losing their grip of themselves and having a hard time overcoming stereotype
people who thinks that theyre Andres de saya or Ander de saya this can
actually decrease their self-worth.
Self-worth is the sense of one's own value or worth as a person; selfesteem; or self-respect. Being a house husband appears to have some indication
of risk to the fathers mental health related to this non traditional arrangement.
The house husband perception of his adequacy as a breadwinner is a central
component of his mental health this can cause them loss of status and lower
their self-esteem. They start asking themselves what am I doing with my life. A
house husband will began to wonder if those employed individual like his wife
or his friends will start to think that hes useless and this can certainly damage
the family relationship and decrease his social or interpersonal relationship.
Once the father self-worth is wounded, every single words from other
peoples mouth especially when its about jobs or financial topics, they began to

feel insulted which can become one of the reason of families splitting up. As the
house husband grows older, the more they get wearier. They start feeling useless
and easily suffer from societal reactions like some people used to say The
person with a reliable financial income is considered worthwhile; the person
without a reliable income is considered inferior and even despicable.
House husband are more prone to stress. The stress of dealing with
being dependent; the stress of dealing with mood swings and cant entirely
embrace reason; the grudge isolation and loneliness; long hours of house works
which can cause fatigue. The relationship with the partner becomes blighted by
blazing rows and bickering and the libido dwindled and sex life became nonexistent.
Some cases of house husband show low self-effectiveness. They feel
less-effective to be part of this fast changing society because theyre not earning
anything and their wives are the one who gives them the budget and allowance.
Money is often correlated with self worth but that doesnt sum up the general
population of house husband in the Philippines. There are some stay at home
dads who actually proud of being a house husband. Nothing beats the moments
you spend with your love ones. Fathers who stays with the children and able to
watch them closely as they grow can actually experience moderate to high life
satisfaction as well as moderate to well-psychological being only if they dont put
all those stereotypical beliefs in their heads .

Some approach argues that men need to cut themselves from the
ideologies of the current culture and create their own definition of father and
husband. Theres nothing wrong with being a house husband. The thing is, the
cases of house husband only shows both mother and father are responsible in
building a family. A parent who can handle the children and maintains a home
symbolizes a strong base for their kids in the future even though the society
stigmatized the role of father in playing the role of the mother, there are still a lot
of positive reaction to those father who sacrifice themselves, their status or even
lowered their pride in the sake of his family.
Rationale of the Study
This research seek to build understanding and discover meanings of
whats behind the life of fathers who stays at home known as house husband
and the struggles theyre facing against the shallow judgement of this stereotype
society. The struggles of giving up the gender role of what the norms expected
you to comply is one of the few things that attracts the researcher to push this
study through. The Self-worth of the house husband becomes crucial in the
process. The image of strong and strict disciplinarian start to change in the mind
of the children as they grow older. The self-effectiveness also decreases as they
are relieve of their position as familys Breadwinner,.
Our society only focuses and show admiration in solo mothers and
provided them with different organization and peer proposals but how about the
fathers who take the responsibility of being the Ilaw ng tahanan and Haligi ng

tahanan all at the same time. Even if the cases of house husband in the
Philippines are already a common situation, we are lacking of support to reach
those fathers trying to walk against the current of old beliefs and stereotypical
minds.
Rationale for qualitative Method
Qualitative research methods provide the tools for us to begin to
understand the complexity of House husband life and their struggles in keeping
their self-worth and self-effectiveness. Metaphor as a way to describe meaning,
thick description in the final case study, and interviewing that delves deeply into a
respondents perspective are techniques that assist the researcher to better
understand Fathers who stays at home to keep the role of the mother, their
points of view, the challenges they face in this society where men is usually the
provider in the family.
Qualitative research methods do not seek to describe a norm but to
understand meaning and gain knowledge about those who vary from that norm
as well as add to the richness and complexity of being a House husband
Research Question
This research entitled Si Nanay, Si tatay, palit sila sa bahay: An
exploratory study of self-appreciation and self-worth of filipino house husbands
Will seek answers to the following question.

1.) What is the life of house husband?

2.)

What are the reasons why they make the descision of being a house

husband? Why they stay as house husband?

3.) What are the effects of being a house husband in the fathers sense of self,
self-worth and self-affectiveness?
Assumptions
1.)

This research shows the reality of being a house husband. In the

Philippines, Males are expected to play a vital and huge role in the society, a
provider and the breadwinner. In the family, Fathers are expected to be strict,
busy and the disciplinarian but as the economy fails together with its
consequences the family as the smallest unit of organization is affected too. In
Metro Manila, house husband is just a common setting in numbers of families.
Most of this father gives up their works and job to act as the mother to their
children. Most of their wives are working abroad and other around manila and In
some cases, after being a house husband for a long time, most of them find it
difficult to be back on business or working and often choose to just stay doing
what they do or just handle small bussiness like sari-sari store or side vendor.
2.)

The society of the Philippines as a religious country still believes that

mother should be the one whos guiding the children and the father providing the
needs of his family. But as the time passed, the society becomes aware of this
role changing trends. Women now are easily accepted by the society to be
working in that position and do the high paid career and level advancement

where before, only men is applicable to do but it seems to be the in the part of
the men whose role changes as the care provider in the family it takes an
extreme counter role in the society and it seems to be the acceptance was a bit
slower and the awareness of their needs a bit blurred. Some cases of house
husband who stays at home for a long time sometimes finds it hard to work again
because of the feeling of incompetence when it comes to building social identity.
3.)

If theres a consequence in the part of mens doing laundry chores,

changing diapers, doing the groceries or even attend school meeting for their
kids that is their mind concept starts to inflate their ego and their concept of
masculinity which can cause decreasing self-worth and submerging selfeffectiveness. Its hard for a father to be something he thinks less and what the
society believes to be a womans and mother role to be in part of. It is hard for
house husband to blend in with other father who has a job and still have many
difficulties finding and connecting with other at-home dads.. House husband
often thinks that because theyre not the whose earning they will feel less worthy
to be consider as a man of the house and eventually think less of themselves,
their affectiveness in guiding the children and even as a husband to his wife.
Theoretical and Conceptual framework
The role of house husband was not seen as the mirror image of the role of
housewife. Women and men differed in their perception of the househusband
role; men saw the role of house husband more negatively than women; and men
saw a more negative effect of being a househusband on the spousal relationship

than women. Women had lower of endorsement of the traditional gender role.
They perceived the duties and responsibilities more flexibly and rejected
traditional role expectations. Although women seem to be more comfortable with
the concept of house husband than men are, the role of househusband is still
negatively perceived by them.
The current study is based in two aspects of gender theory. Masculine
Gender role stress (Eisler & Skidmore, 1987), and Gender Role Conflict (ONeil,
1981), both theoretrical constructs contend that the psychological well being of
men is partly affected by the degree to which he perceives he conforms to
socially prescribed gender expectation. Therefore, stay-at-home fathers may
experience higher levels of psychological problems due to disapproval from
others, a lack of support, isolation and a discrepancy between their own actual
and ideal selves. The theoretrical construct that refers to stress experienced by
men when they feel they are not living up to societys expectation is called
masculine gender role stress (MGRS) (Mcreay et al. 1996). Eisler and Skidmore
(1987) defined it as stress resulting from mens appraisals of failing to live up to
traditional masculinity standards. Eisler, Skidmore, and Ward (1988) found a
significant correlation between higher levels of MGRS and increases in anger,
anxiety, and poorer health habits.
Gender role conflict (GRC) is a similar construct that is defined by ONeil
(1981) as, a psychological state in which gender roles have negative
consequences or impact on the person or others (p. 203). Stillson, ONiel, and
Owen (1991) explained that GRC often limits the potential of the one expecting

10

the conflict through restriction of roles or the devaluation of self or others. Since
role reversal in stay-at-home father families is often due to the mothers greater
earning potential (Zimmerman, 2000).
Bussey and Bandura (1997) described the different models attempting to
explain gender development. These include the psychological perspective that
views gender development in terms of intrapyschic determinants; the biological
perspective, which emphasizes the biological and genetic differences to explain
gender differentiation; and the sociological models, placing importance on the
social aspects of gender development. This paper is primarily based on the
premise that gender roles are formed largely through social interactions. Bussey
& Bandura also pointed out those sociological theories emphasize the role of
social and institutional practices rather than innate properties as the source of
gender differentation.
Several studies have explored what happens when people experience a
gender role reversal. Costrich, Feinstein, Kidder, Marecek and Pascale (1975)
founded that popularity ratings and perceived psychological adjustment were
negatively affected when a either a man or a woman performed behaviors
antithetical to his or her gender role stereotyped behavior. Gender role reversal
theory appears to have a strong impact upon social relationship. If one believes
that self-esteem and self-identity are in part determined by social relationships
one can generalize to the impact of gender role reversal on self esteem and selfidentity.

11

The social role theory of sex differences in behavior , initially proposed

over a decade ago (Eagly, 1987) has been greatly enriched through empirical
work that has been tested its propositions and in some cases produced
modifications. Fitting within a body of social psychology that maintains that social
structural and cultural factors influence individual behavior.( Pettigrew, 1997) the
theory maintains its initial focus on the positioning of women and men in the
social structure as the root cause of sex differences in behavior.
Being in a traditional gender role has its discomforts, but so does finding
ones way into new forms of gender behaviorespecially when many of the old
expectations remain. Role conflict occurs when the expectations of two or more
roles are incompatible. For example, women who hold full-time jobs might find
that they cant also be good motherslook after sick children, go to school
events, and the like. Men who assume housework or child-care duties might feel
inadequate for not doing them as well as their spouses might. Role conflicts can
produce

stress-related

problems,

including

anxiety

attacks,

insomnia,

headaches, and various tensions (Weber et al. 1997).

In addition to Social Identity Theory, Tokenism, Social Regard, and Social
Justification Theory are also extremely useful. These theories reflect the difficulty
of re-establishing and/or maintaining well-being in such a counter-cultural role as
Househusbands. Divergence from a societys established gender role identity,
then, places stress on those initial few who deviate from the established
path.Kanter (1977) describes the plight of tokens, or extremely small minority
groups, as isolated, highly visible, and negatively stereotyped. As tokens traverse

12

the territory of a dominant group, they are more visible that any one dominant
member, they are subject to polarization (exaggeration of differences), and
impressions of the tokenscharacteristics will distorted to fit those generalizations
(Kanter, 1977, p.8). Brescoll and Uhlmann (2005) found that househusbands
were rated with the lowest social regard in a comparison with working fathers,
working mothers, and Stay-At-Home Moms. Further, Social Justification Theory
(Jost and Banaji, 1994) points out that when minority groups identify with the
established societal organization and activities, they partake in their own
subordination. Therefore, not only are there fewer in-group members from whom
the minority person can draw social support, but there is pressure from
mainstream society and even themselves to conform to established identities.
Dieners negative affect can be viewed through the tokenism issues described
above. For househusbands, isolation can be due in part to the at-home childcare
process. Additionally, SAHDs may feel acute isolation as males in a traditionally
female role. They are also very visible, often singular dads in a sea of moms.
Negative stereotyping is a negative affect when friends, family and strangers
think of them as lazy or unemployable. Social Identity Theory may also explain
some aspects of Dieners negative affect owing to the categorization process
involved. While the number of House husbands has been mostly increasing over
the past 25 years, people may still not have a category for them. Thus, people
may have difficulty connecting with House husbands when they meet one, as
they feel they have nothing in common. People may incorrectly categorize house
husbands as stalkers, kidnappers or child molesters because they do not have a

13

house husband category in their schema of male roles (e.g. Star, 2000; Cipriani,
1999; Amoroso, 1996). Additionally, House husbands may reject membership in
parenting groups that are primarily female, because of their own minority identity
as male primary-care parent.
Significance of the study
This study will be a significant endeavor in knowing the reality behind the
life of a house husband.
This study will also be beneficial to children; we should understand that a
father's parenting style is somehow beneficial for a child's physical, cognitive,
emotional and behavioral development. Mothers reassure toddlers when they
become frustrated while fathers encourage them to manage their frustration.
For the mother, as a wife it was important to support the husband in his
journey to a new role. A mother should be aware of the needs of the husband as
well as the condition of her husband playing her role as the primary care provider
and this study could give them an insight to those problems.
For the society, this study shows different faces of struggle a house
husband can actually experience. The society should accept the fact that house
husband is just a result of a failing economy. This house husbands are
consistenly punished or negatively viewed by other because of the stereotyping
belief of the Filipinos.

14

For the Government, it appears to be fathers or house husbands are

more prone to stress because of the husbands perception of his adequacy as a
breadwinner, this study gives awareness for the government to take part in
supporting house husband especially those whos wife have gone abroad.
For the future researcher, this study is conducted to let other researcher
know the situation of house husband and why this new trend of role changing
takes place and why it is important to let other people know this kind of
phenomena affects not just the fathers status but also the whole family.
Scope and Limitations.
The limitations of this study includes:
This study has typical geographic limitations often found in research. The
Respondents in this study represents the population living in and around Metro
Manila where it was considered as the wall street of the country, where things
happens on big scale and both the male and female are expected to be part of
the growing economy. This study will be conducted to those fathers who play the
role of House Husband for atleast five (2-3) years either the wife works
abroad/International or in local (Philippines). The respondents can also be taken
from a local Stay at home father support organization. The respondent or
informants may be a representative of men who already receving more social
support from an organization or close relatives.

15

Definition of terms
For the purpose of this research, the following terms are defined:
House Husband: refers to the five(5) informants/participants of this study.
Breadwinner: the parent whos Job or career provides for the majority of the
families financial needs in this study the mother was consider as the
breadwinner.
Masculine Gender Role Stress: this explain the stresses house husbands
experience when they perceive they are failing to measure up to societys
expectations for their masculine role or when circumtances force men to take the
part of their wives role..
Self-worth: this refers to the house husband sense of his own value of self that
can seemingly decrease his self-esteem as a father, a man and a husband.
Self-effectiveness: this refers to how house husband view his own ability and
capacity as a man and a husband and as his role gender changes, the house
husband seems to feel more stagnant of growth and feels inaffective and
useless.
Migration: Consider as the most common reason families choose the mother to
be the one whos working and the father to be a househusband
Stereotype: this refers to the traditional beliefs of the Filipino people that the
man of the house should be the one whos working for living and the mother

16

should be the one taking control of the house hold and the children but the fast
emerging number of house husband starts to stand againts the current of this
stereotyping world and faced struggles againts this old beliefs..

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Chapter II
Review of Related Literature
Family, Gender, House husbands, and Fathering
The complex theorizing of masculinities by sociology and critical
management

scholars,

such

as

Morgan,

(1992, 1996, 2001),

Connell

(1995, 2000), Collinson and Hearn (1996), Katz (1995, 1999) and Kimmel (1987),
as well as communication scholars, such as Hanke (1990, 1992, 1998), Mumby
(1998), and Trujillo (1991), is valuable to our theorizing of the construct of house
husbands. As Morgan (1996) suggests, parenting and work are both gendered
constructs that need to be examined within the complex social webs of gender,
work, family, relationships, and identity. He prefers parenting over the terms
mothering and fathering in that it (a) can be used to smooth over gender
differences and (b) also suggests the work of parents is something to be shared
between mother and father. He asserts there is gendered work in family
relationships and calls for more research to explore the gendered connotations of
family. Furthermore, in 2001, he argues:
The stories of family and gender would seem to be, like all good stories,
capable of infinite variation and re-telling, reflecting as much upon the narrator
and the circumstances of narration, as on the supposed entities themselves.
This implies an increasing emphasis upon fluidity and diversity, both in
relation to [family and gender] and the supposed interconnections between

18

them. The idea of family as a complex cultural and ideological construction

representing a set of processes rather than a thing is not a new understanding
and has already been presented in these terms in the context of feminist, and
other critiques. (Morgan, 2001, pp. 229-230)
Based on our lived experience we recognize some serious and awkward
inconsistencies in the way society views fatherhood. People often assume the
stay-at-home father or house husbands are helping out with childcare or that
something is wrong with him. He is stereotyped in the image of Michael Keaton
as a Mr. Mom figure. It is not an issue of being Mr. Mom; such comparisons
reframe stay-at-home fathers as the new mothers, which of course implicates
fundamental male identity issues. However, todays house husbands are not
mothering and, in fact, they resist this stereotype (Fisher, 2000; Gerstein,
2003; Gill, 2001) as well as other stereotypical constructs of father as baby
entertainer, bumbling assistant, and part-time father/mother as main parent
(Sunderland, 2000). Stay-at-home fathers are parenting on a full-time basis
rather than a part-time basis. They are fathersnot mothers helpers.
Stay-at-home Dads (SAHDs)
As the number of SAHDs (Stay-at-Home Dads, as they refer to
themselves) increases, so do the cultural artifacts that trace and reflect their
experiences. For example, multiple popular press books exist, including: (a)
Eddies (1999) Housebroken: Confessions of a stay-at-home dad; (b) Gills
(2001) Stay-at-home dads: The essential guide to creating the new family; (c)

19

Hudlers (2002) Househusband; and (d) Roarks (2001) Keeping the baby alive
until your wife gets home: The tough new how to for 21st century dads. The
Internet provides further access to SAHDs through websites targeting the hidden
population of stay-at-home fathers, such as Fatherville.com, Fatherworld.com,
slowlane.com, and others. In addition, there is a magazine entitled Fulltime Dads,
and a newsletter edited by Peter Baylies entitled At-home Dad.
It is clear that SAHDs do not want to be referred to as Mr. Mom. They are
not motheringthey areparenting. The fathers parent differently than mothers
do, but it is still a loving, supportive role that they play. Clinical psychologist Offra
Gerstein argues against the stereotypes of Mr. Mom and suggests that we move
beyond the views of laziness, irresponsibility, wimpiness and unmanliness [that
are attributed] to Mr. Mom (Gerstein, 2003). These stereotypes lead some
people to construct a stigmatized role of the stay-at-home father.
There are people who look askance upon males who are not the primary
breadwinnersSome see the stay-at-home dads role as doing nothing,
perhaps being an incompetent employee or a henpecked husband. Other
misguided notions are associated with disrespect for a male who burdens his
wife with the financial responsibilities of supporting a family. Yet others discount
the value of men at home and see the children as being deprived of maternal
love. (Gerstein, 2003)
Even when stay-at-home fathers re-enter the workplace, they are produced and
reproduced in a gendered politics of masculinity and work versus femininity and

20

caregiving. Balancing work and family responsibilities is viewed as womens

work.
Terms describing gender politics, such as domesticating patriarchy (Vavrus,
2002), hegemonic masculinity (Kimmel, 1996), marketplace masculinity
(Kimmel, 1996), domesticating masculinity and masculinizing domesticity
(Gavanas, 2004), suggest stay-at-home fatherhood is a complex construct of
gendered politics of identity, what constitutes womens work and mens work, and
the feminization of the family. This complex and gendered work/family identity is
not only historically situated but also a dynamic social construct that is also
politicized by race, class, and the state of the U.S. American economy. What is
happening in the lives of many stay-at-home fathers is often one or more of the
following factors: (a) his own job loss; (b) his own illness, injury, or disability; (c) a
change in his employment status due to return to (or graduation from) school; (d)
his partners higher salary; (e) his partners steady employment; (f) a desire for
children to be cared for by parent; or (g) his desire to start his own business or
work from home in order to be present for childrens needs. Decisions to stay
home are complex and taking on nontraditional gender roles is also a complex
process of performing gender.
Fathers and Masculinity
It is important for stay-at-home fathers or house husbands to maintain their
masculine identity rather than be subsumed into a feminized Mr. Mom identity.
Doucet (2004) found that house husbands involve themselves in fixing up the

21

house and coaching childrens sports teams, which are activities that are
masculinized forms of housework and community service. Doucet (2004) argues:
Many stay-at-home fathers or house husbands view coaching and assisting in
childrens sports at school and in the community as a venue that makes their
fathering more enjoyable for themselves while also easing community scrutiny of
their decisions to give up work, this involvement reflects the way in which fathers
seek to distinguish their caring from mothering and to reconstruct particular kinds
of [what Brandth & Kvande (1998 ) call] masculine care. (p. 292)
An argument can be made that the fathering issue is tied to a change in
the nature of work and work expectations. Mackey (1985) argues the
father/mother split of parental responsibility is greatly tied to physicalitymen,
biologically, were capable of work that required brute strength (plowing, hunting,
etc.), which left women as caretakers of the children. Mackey suggests that in the
absence of work that requires a gender split, parenting is approached in a more
balanced way. He found that laborer fathers had strained parent-child
relationships, particularly where the child was female. By contrast, non-laborer
fathers had more balanced relationships with their children. If this holds true, then
perhaps the growing emphasis on information-based work is causing a
redefinition of parenting. The dilemma is that the discourses constrain this
redefinition along historical and cultural expectations. Thus, the new father is
bound by the traditional notions of what fatherhood is.

22

Scholars, such as Connell (1995, 2000), Fiske (1987), and Mumby (1998),
remind us that masculinity is tied to work and is constantly linked to achievement
and successful performance, as in the performance of the male breadwinner.
This is often referred to as hegemonic masculinity or that which is not feminine,
by Connell (1995), Hanke (1990, 1992, 1998), Kimmel (1987), Trujillo (1991) and
Vavrus (2002). Fathers are feminized if they are the caregivers, because
caregiving is feminine work.
On the other hand, other models of fatherhood do not feminize the father
but rather construct him as inadequate (Hawkins & Dollahite, 1997; Doherty,
1991). Even the 1998 study by the National Institute of Child Health and Human
Development included time spent with father in their definition of time spent in
childcare (cited in Hirschfeld, 2000, p. 40). These inadequate father models are
perpetuated in mediated sources and thus commodify the inept father.
This problematic stereotype regularly emerges in the media, in the form of
commercials, television characters (e.g., Jim Belushis character in According to
Jim and Ray Romanos character in Everybody Loves Raymond), and parenting
magazines that continuously infantilize men and perpetuate the same
incompetence stereotype. These examples establish the mother as the primary
caregiver. Hence, the media influence societal attitudes and perpetuate the Mr.
Mom stereotype of the bumbling house husbands. As these media sources
perpetuate the stereotypes, they sell more magazines and more advertisements,
but more importantly, they both commodify and influence gender politics. The
inadequate father model is akin to what Wood (2005) refers to as the male

23

deficit model that positions men as incapable or at least deficient in their

capacity for engaging in relationships. These models of male inadequacy are
flawed in that they perpetuate the static view of the male as relationally inept.
When these models of inadequacy as perpetuated in the media then emerge in
macro-level discourses, they in turn influence organizational policy and decision
making regarding employee benefits of working parents, such as health benefits,
flex time, telecommuting policies, work schedules, childcare benefits, and other
organizational policies (Hanke, 1990, 1992, 1998; Vavrus, 2002).
The problematics of gender stereotypes are not only ripe within
organizational policies (Kirby, 2000; Kirby & Krone, 2002); they also are present
in the everyday politics and unwritten rules of organizational culture practices
(Kirby, 2006/2003; Kirby & Krone, 2002; Levine & Pittinsky, 1997; Medved, 2004).
Work family balance is a gendered issue (read: a womans issue) as many
issues that women and men might both be concerned about become gendered
by the very presence of womens interests. Feminists have long held that gender
issues are often interpreted as being only about women, because patriarchal
interpretations suggest gender is an essentializing category where, put simply,
gender equals women. Men are apparently not gendered; they are the norm.
Women are the other, the second sex, and can only be compared to the
masculine normative standard (de Beauvoir, 1952). As Ashcraft and Mumby
(2004) assert, women are visibly gendered others, while men are erased as the
genderless norm (p. xiv). Thus, by interpreting the meanings of gender, the

24

essentializing perspective then highlights the categories of femininity and

woman as communicating gender rather than those of masculinity and man.
As noted, despite the gendered stereotyping of inept fathers and
feminized stay-at-home fathers or house husbands, close to two million men are
the primary caregivers for their children. Men are performing nontraditional
gender roles, but they are not necessarily feminized in the process. Following
Butler (1989, 1993), we argue these men are performing a multiplicity of
masculinitiesnot just a fixed form of masculinity, or femininity, for that matter. In
fact, we posit that men perform multiple masculinities throughout their lives and
the House husband role is an example of a nontraditional, but nonetheless
viable, performance of masculinity, just as the performance of the family
breadwinner and the performance of the bumbling Mr. Mom are also
performances of masculinities.
Unlike Buzzanell and Turners (2003) suggestion that real men [who
experience job loss] do not cross the public/private divide (p. 44), we argue that
men experiencing change in job status do cross the (false) dividing line between
public and private spheres. Buzzanell and Turner also cite Gergen and Gergens
(1993) similar finding that men who lose their jobs have fragile identities and that
all family members work to reify their traditional (read hegemonic) masculine
identities. We argue this is not always the case; changes in job status and other
life changes can result in families adopting nontraditional family practices and a
typical gender roles such as the house husband masculine identity. In the
following

section

we

theorize

constitutive

model

of

parenting

that

25

reconceptualizes fathering as dynamic, masculinized parenting that is created in

a communication space.
Communication Space for Modeling Parenting
Feminist and pro-feminist scholars such as Gavanas (2004) and Digby
(1998; cited in Gavanas, 2004) argue that masculinity and domesticity do not
have to be mutually exclusive. In addition, Doucet (2004) and Vavrus (2002) find
the two constructs linked in the process of fathering, especially for stay-at-home
fathers. Furthermore, Risman (1986, 1998) argues that mothering is not a
gendered act, but rather an interactional relationship that is just as likely to be
performed by participative fathers, both single and married. In fact, according to
Risman, men can mother. It is a matter of turning traditional gender roles on their
heads. Risman calls for a post-gendered family structure in which hierarchy and
gender structures are erased. Hence, we seek to answer Rismans (1998) call to
discuss family in terms of interaction as opposed to gender roles and biological
determinism.
In an attempt to reconceptualize fatherhood, and by extension parenting,
we draw upon the theoretical construct of communication spacea dynamic,
fluid space in which the building blocks of relationships and identities coconstruct each other. Rather than simply a physical space where actors come
together, communication space refers to the communicative possibilities
available to actors in interactive moments as conditioned by social discourses
and as defined through individual reflection. Put another way, when actors come

26

together in an encounter, their activities, combined with the physical presence of

environmental features, carve out a conceptual and tangible space. It is at once
physically bounded (by architectural features) and socially contingent (reliant on
the constant definition and redefinition of the situation by actors). It centers on
and comprises communicative activities and their associated practices and
processes
The Communication Space
Within the communication space actors engage with each other, with
themselves through self-reflection, and with their surroundings in moments of
communicative potential. The communicative moment occupies the intersection
of the psychological and the social, within always present, yet changing and
socially modifiable, biological and physical environmental constraints (Mokros,
1996, p. 4). It is in these moments that actors learn about their relationships to
other actors and their environment, and, perhaps more importantly, about who
they are. Communication space can therefore be recognized as the
circumstances of interaction (i.e., where, how, when, and with whom an
encounter occurs), but also as the process of mutual influence between personal
reflections, established practices, and social norms and values through which
identities are forged and social institutions are perpetuated (Mokros, 1996).
Fundamentally, communication space is the interactional system that exists when
individuals encounter each other in a particular locale. Communication space is
emergent through interaction and is descriptive of the character of the interaction.

27

Since it defines what is possible or not for interactants (Petroski, 2003),

communication space has great potential utility for reconceptualizing fatherhood.
To begin, communication space allows for the simultaneous recognition of
broad, macro-level understandings of discourses along with micro-level
interactions, such as individualized practices. As Scheff (1990) posited, much of
our understanding of the world happens through a rapid shuttling back and forth
between macro and micro levels of experience, what he labels abduction.
Gender identities exist at the institutional, individual, and the interactional levels,
all at the same time (Risman, 1998). Incidentally, the families Risman (1998)
studied, in what she calls fair families or those practicing egalitarian and nongendered family roles, the fathers and husbands are pioneering new forms of
masculinities (p. 154).
In an example from the lived experience of Paiges brother-in-law (Drew),
one recognizes the constraints of cultural and institutional expectations of
performances of gender identities. When Drew too k family leave from a large
telecommunications company after the birth of his second child, his co-workers
were amazed that a man was going to stay home for an extended period with his
newborn. While he was on leave, he called Human Resources to check on his
benefits and the person that answered his call said, Oh, youre the GUY who
took family leave! as if it were so unusual that he could not believe it. Actually, it
was unusual. He was only the second man in the history of the company to take
family leave. Bateson (1996) suggested social science research should have an
appreciation for part-whole understandings. As part of the whole, Drew knew

28

that he was doing what was right for his family. He was able to spend both quality
and quantity time with both his children. And in the long term, whether he realized
it or not, he was an important model for his two-year-old son Sams view of family
and the important role of a participative father in the greater whole of his future
relationships with his own family.
Drews lived experience illustrates that while much of the research
previously described examines the larger social mechanics that contribute to
conceptions of fatherhood, fatherhood is enacted by individuals who have
particular notions of what parenting means. Rarely are these two levels
reconciled in research, nor are they approached in a way that is consistent with
our everyday experience of the world. An exception to this is Kirbys (2006/2003)
case study of an expectant fathers dilemma in reconciling his wifes desire for
him to take family leave when their twins were born with his own day-to-day
experience of working with people who thought taking family leave was what
women do.
In addition to allowing for multi-level communication research, the concept
of communication space also draws upon a constitutive view of communication
(Mokros, 2003), which makes apparent a fundamental paradox in our lived
experience. Since our worldviews are established and maintained by our
communicative activity, it is difficult for us to shift our perception of
communicative activity so that we are not under the influence of those
understandings. This implies that understanding constitutiveness is an elusive
process, which involves interrogation of our predispositions about our

29

worldviews. In questioning what we perceive to be the concepts (e.g., gender,

work, family) that frame our understanding of the world, we may come closer to
understanding communication constitutively.
Theoretical consideration of communication without the interrogation of
the social and personal processes which contribute to the development of
worldviews

often

tends

to

treat

communication

as

an

instrument

or

informational phenomenon. This informational view of communication, while at

times suggesting a complex system of interactions, offers a very limited
conceptualization of the function of communication. Mokros and Deetz (1996)
argue:
Viewed in this way, communication is a tool by which persons, as selfcontained, autonomous agents, exchange conventionally defined linguistic and
linguistic-like signs. These signs provide labels to an already extant universe of
objects, reasons, motives, and affections so that we might say that these signs
represent and thereby reflect reality out there. (p. 31)
Those who approach communication from an information transfer model
make broad assumptions about the semiotic structures they describe and
generally ignore that they use the concepts and vocabularies derived from the
same semiotic systems they seek to understand.
By adopting a constitutive perspective, our focus on SAHDs, or any
discussion of parenting we might have for that matter, needs to interrogate the
assumptions that underlie the parenting situation. Though our initial exploration

30

of SAHDs led us to look upon this particular parenting situation positively

because of our personal experiences and predispositions, we needed to examine
more carefully the social landscape in which fathers, mothers, and children
interact. Towards this end, the construct of communication space offers a way to
investigate parenting constitutively
Communication Space of Fathering Model
What we have found is that much of the existing research approaches the
study of fatherhood informationally; there are assumed understandings of
fathering

that

2004; Gavanas,

largely

go

2004; Kirby,

unquestioned

(exceptions

2006/2003; Morgan,

include Doucet,
1996; Risman,

1986, 1998;Sunderland, 2000; Vavrus, 2002). What many do not realize is that
fatherhood is a part of a discourse that defines parenting through sedimented
gender roles. During a previous research project, Paige interviewed an employed
mother who works an opposite shift from her husband so that their three children
do not have to spend time with sitters or in daycare. She spoke of her husbands
incredulous reaction to someone who referred to his time spent with his children
as babysitting. He said, Im not BABYSITTING! Im their FATHER! I am
PARENTING! However, because fathering is defined through a gendered
discourse, new labels cannot neutralize the existing influence on those
preconceptions.
Therefore, simply changing the label for parent-child relationships to
parenting, though apparently gender neutral on the surface, does not account

31

for the immediate inclination for us to gender the relationship. Our first question
in seeking more information about the child would likely be, Is it a boy or girl?
Our first question raised about the parent would be, Is it a mother or father? A
further assumption is that actors are perpetually cognizant of their own
behaviors. Self-report bias is a common weakness in many communication
studies, let alone those that deal with parenting specifically. We cannot presume
that parents will be able to fully explain their child-rearing behaviors, particularly
in a way that neutralizes gendered discourses. Moreover, one might presume
that these parents would respond honestly about their childrearing, but selfreports might be exaggerated in the presentation of self in terms of social
desirability (Goffman, 1959).
Since the identity of parent is constructed in interaction with the child, a
parents description of her/his parenting practices is not the best method to study
parent-child interaction. Lannamann (1995) argues an appropriate unit of
observation for the analysis of social interaction is the dialogical process (p. 122)
rather than the self-report data to which communication researchers often resort.
He stresses the importance of focusing on the constitutive role of social
interaction in the construction of personal identity (p. 122). Similarly, LeedsHurwitz (1995) defines the social approach to communication research as that
which describe[s] events occurring between people in the process of interacting
rather than reporting how events are perceived through a single persons
understanding (p. 6). Leeds-Hurwitz emphasizes the importance of direct
observation of actual behavior which she argues does not preclude the use of

32

extended interview techniques but does make a few traditionally accepted

methods, such as questionnaires, highly unlikely choices (p. 9).
We argue that our focus on nontraditional gender roles and alternative
family practices can only be studied from a social interaction perspective (see
discussions in Lannamann, 1995; Leeds-Hurwitz, 1995;Shotter & Gergen, 1989).
The construct of communication space lets us examine the gendered biases of
discourses and self-concepts by focusing on interaction. While it seems logical to
examine interactions between parents and children to determine how parenting
is done, our focus here is more on interactions where parenting is the primary
focus or topic of discussion. The communication spaces we are interested in
are those where the parent, namely the father, has cause to engage with others
about his fathering activity(s).
Goffman (1967) argued that when individuals enter an encounter, they are
bound by social etiquette to participate actively. The involvement obligation, as
he called it, requires actors to attend to the encounter, providing appropriate
contributions to conversation, when necessary, but otherwise making an active
show that they are engaged with the other participants. Goffman suggested when
an actor fails to fulfill the obligation, there is a sense of unease which can
jeopardize the interaction and associated relationships, and further discussed
that:
Social encounters differ a great deal in the importance that participants
give to them but, whether crucial or picayune, all encounters represent occasions

33

when the individual can become spontaneously involved in the proceedings and
derive from this a firm sense of reality. And this kind of feeling is not a trivial thing,
regardless of the package in which it comes. When an incident occurs and
spontaneous involvement is threatened, then reality is threatened. Unless the
disturbance is checked, unless the interactants regain their proper involvement,
the illusion of reality will be shattered, the minute social system that is brought
into being with each encounter [i.e., the communication space] will be
disorganized, and the participants will feel unruled, unreal, and anomic. (p. 135)
Encounters, then, reinforce self-concept and discourse structures (e.g.,
gender) and substantiate worldviews that include stereotypes and biases. In
cases where the interaction is jeopardized or fails, the encounter will likely be
disconfirmatory and wholly detrimental to the interactants self image and future
encounters. Further, since Goffman was speaking generally about the nature of
casual, spontaneous encounters, it follows that when interaction is with an
individual or group where there is an established, ongoing relationship, the
social bond is much stronger and the stakes for inattention to involvement
obligations are greater (Scheff, 1990).
Mr. Mom Idenity
Let us assume that a father enters a conversation with someone about his
fathering activity. The two talk back and forth, revealing a bit more about
themselves as the interaction unfolds. The Father eventually states that he is a
House husband. The Other compares what she understands fathering behavior

34

to be like, perhaps with the understanding that fathers are not supposed to stay
home. She is thus perpetuating the socially entrenched view of the father as
breadwinner. The Other then must feminize the father and suggests he is taking
on the role of Mr. Mom. The Father defensively explains that he is offended by
the statement because he is simply being a Dad. Similarly, in Kirbys
(2006/2003) case study of Bobs dilemma as to whether or not to stay home for
six weeks with his twin daughters, he worries what his co-workers and his boss
will think of him. He worries that he will be judged as a slacker, as not carrying
his weight at work. He worries that he will be feminized by the Other. Even his
father advises him not to take the time off from work because it is his job to earn
money for the family (Kirby, 2006/2003). And in the case of Paiges brother-inlaw, Drew is constructed as gender deviantOh, youre the GUY who took
family leave!
In our example of the model of the stay-at-home dad, the fathers identity
also is judged by both actors as an acceptable topic for discussion. There is a
divergence where the Fathers self-concept of masculinity is called into question
by the Mr. Mom statement. The Father considers what he does (self-reflection)
and compares it against what is said by the Other (interaction). Simultaneously,
the Fatherconsiders the implication of the Mr. Mom statement against other
relevant discourses, perhaps falling back on gender discourses that imply that
men should not be called Mom, a feminine term. This mismatch calls
the Fathers

self-concept

of

masculinity

into

question

at

which

point

the Father becomes defensive. Dads do not mother in the gendered concept of

35

the word. Rather, as Risman (1986, 1998) argues, men and women both can
mother. Using more neutral language, they parent. Men parent in a masculinized,
interactive manner, which is still a form of nurturing, a viable form of interactional,
relational parenting (Doucet, 2004).
Brandth and Kvande (1998) argue fathers caring practices are adopted
by the hegemonic form of masculinity so that, rather than challenge hegemonic
masculinity, caring becomes incorporated into it (cited in Doucet, 2004, p. 281).
This suggests that as fathering practices evolve through interactions, the
dominant discourse is influenced and, with persistence, changed. However,
discourses are monolithic, partly because the discourses themselves are reified
through interaction. While a father may engage in activities that diverge from the
norm and move understandings of fatherhood in a different direction, each
mention of stereotypes like Mr. Mom draws attention back to the dominant
notions of what fathering is.
Resistance against dominant discourses is further complicated by the
notion that media representations reinforce and perpetuate stereotypical
conceptualizations outside of fathering interactions. Though the original film Mr.
Mom was released in 1983, the stereotype has been perpetuated in other
contemporary films, such as Daddy Day Care (2003), and in popular musicthe
band Lonestar reached number 1 on the Billboard Hot Country Singles charts in
2004 with a song titled Mr. Mom. Interestingly, this music reference was brought
to our attention when Daves nephew received a Lonestar DVD as a holiday gift.
As Dave edited this paper, his nephew unwittingly played the Mr. Mom video for

36

his son on the other side of the room. He found it a rather sobering experience to
struggle with articulating the position that fathering should not have to conform to
dominant discourses when his own son was giggling at the humorous animated
video that further sedimented the stereotype of the inept father.
Though willing to take on the mantle of SAHD, Dave notes that it was not
really a viable choice. Since the family leave policies of his and his wifes
employers both require a leave of absence without pay, it was financially
impossible for both him and his wife to stay home. So even though Dave may
have wanted to father differently from social expectations, the discourses as
manifested in the rules of his employing organization made that choice difficult, if
not impossible. With that option closed off by discursive (and material) structures,
Dave has noted that he feels his ability to father effectively has been
undermined. Upon writing this paragraph, it became increasingly clear (and
unsettling) that the parenting discourses are so strong and subtle that Dave did
not realize that he and his wife did not even question who would stay home. It
seemed natural that it should be her.
Implications for Fathering
By using communication space as a theoretical framework, we may be
better able to address fundamental questions surrounding fathering. Through this
approach, we might ask, How does the discourse surrounding fatherhood shape
parenting practices and self-concept of parents? We suggest dominant
discourses say we (should) do fathering one way. If a fathers behavior does not

37

adhere to those conceptions, the father is labeled as odd. This manifests in

statements like, Hes being Mr. Mom. To a father, this label does not match his
activity or experience. To take this a step further, we might also say that
inconsistent labeling is not just about a match/non-match between fathering
practice and discourse, but rather that it is about searching for labeling for the
unknown through the language of the known. The discourse defines parenting
one waythat mothers are the primary caregivers while fathers are not. While it
may not fit experience adequately, it seems logical that an observer would label a
stay-at-home dad as Mr. Mom simply because parenting discourses center on
the importance of the mother.
This begs the question, How can we reconceptualize parenting so that it
is not defined through traditional mother and father roles? Golden (2001)
argues the plurality of role identities may be an answer; drawing upon Giddens
(1991) and Berger, Berger and Kellner (1973), Golden suggests the condition of
modernity force[s] the individual to move through a wide variety of social
contexts, to assume myriad roles, and to interact with individuals whose values,
attitudes, and life choices are often at variance with his or her own (p. 10). The
result is an identity constructed of multiple selves that correspond to and are
revealed in certain social circumstances. In this view, the father selects the
appropriate self to match the situation. Goldens (2001) perspective is not entirely
incompatible with the position adopted in this paper, but it suggests identities are
constructed through agency, and, by implication, purposeful strategic choices.
The approach we prefer is more in line with the notion that identity is a byproduct

38

of communicative action in everyday lived experience, whether that activity is

strategic or not (Mokros, 2003). Thus, identity is constructed largely out of the
awareness of the father and is only realized in ongoing interactions, where
repeated actions become lasting fathering practices.
By using communication space as a framework, we place an emphasis on
the relationship and how it is enacted in interactive moments. These moments
are not exclusively tied to exchanges between a parent and child, even though
that connection is critical. In addition, we must begin to look at how parenting is
done in other interactions as well. For example, how do fathers talk about their
fathering behavior?
In Figure 1, each of the arrows shown is accompanied by a relevant question for
the interrogation of the space that surrounds interactions involving fathers.
Primarily these questions attempt to make assumptions and influences explicit in
the way that the interaction is approached. This has the greatest utility for the
study of father-centered interactions, but we might also turn the approach to
reformulating our day-to-day understandings of parenting. Any parenting
encounter, whether directly with a child or someone outside of the family
structure, might be considered through the question, What kind of space are we
engaging in? Our model has utility in that it provides a way to address such an
approach to parenting relationships.

39

Synthesis
Our purpose in this study was to theorize the construct of house husbands. We
iterated the communication space for parenting model as an alternative to the
static views of family and gender that are perceived as frozen in time and space.
We strove to shed light on the voice of the father within the negotiation and
balancing of gender, identity, work, and family, as he encounters the gendered
politics of parenting. It is new and intriguing to think through this issue of how we
conceptualize fatherhood as a gendered issue. It is always in comparison to
motherhood. But what does a father (or a mother for that matter) really do? And
how are they valued? By theorizing parenting as a relational co-construction of
mutual selves within the family context, we problematize the stereotypes of the
stay-at-home father and construct him as an active agent in relational parenting.
In conclusion, we have touched upon the everyday politics of gender and
parenting, as well as the medias role in perpetuating these politics, and the
gendered

organizational

policies

and

cultural

practices

that

we

have

experienced. We have barely scratched the surface; this is just a starting point.
So what does this mean for house husbands? We are not really sure. Change in
societys perceptions and the gendered politics of parenting will not occur
overnight. Change is happening. House husbands are an example of one group
through which the dominant discourses are being redefined. For now we are
advocating for fathers voices to be addressed in the ongoing conversation of
balancing work and family. We challenge other scholars to turn the work-life
balancing agenda on its head with other alternative work and family identities that

40

emerge in a world of changing values and meanings of work, family,

masculinities, and femininities. There is much more research to do on this
important family dynamic in the constant and continuous negotiations of work
and family balancing and the politics among work and family intersections.

41

Chapter III
Design and Procedure
This chapter will be dedicated to the description of the methods and
procedures done in order to obtain the data, how they will be analysed,
interpreted, and how the conclusion will be met. This section is to justify the
means in which the study was obtained and will help in giving it purpose and
strength as it will then be truthful and analytical. All these will help in the
processing of the data and the formulation of conclusions.
The Research design
This study utilized the descriptive method of research. As widely accepted,
the descriptive method of research is a fact-finding study that involves adequate
and accurate interpretation of findings. Descriptive research describes a certain
present condition. Relatively, the method is appropriate to this study since it aims
to describe the present condition of the growing number of house husbands. To
be able to gather the necessary data, the researcher utilized in-depth Life history
interviews with chosen house husbands around Metro Manila and is expected to
describe the essence of a lived phenomenon which allows researcher to
explore feelings or thought processes that are difficult to extract or learn about
through conventional research methods (Strauss & Corbin, 1998)
Since qualitative methodologies are fundamentally anchored in a concern
for developing a depth of understanding both of a particular phenomenon and a

42

construction of meaning that individuals attribute to their experiences, care must

be taken to attend to the complex dynamics that emerge (Jones, 2002). Jones,
Torres, and Arminio (2006) submitted. The main intent of qualitative research is
to illuminate and better understand the rich lives of human beings and the world
in which they live.
Research Instrument
For the purposes of this research, in depth interviews were used. In depth
interviews are personal and unstructured interviews, whose aim is to identify
participants emotions, feelings, and opinions regarding a particular research
subject. The main advantage of personal interviews is that they involve personal
and direct contact between interviewers and interviewees, aswell as eliminate
non-response rates, but interviewers need to havedeveloped the necessary skills
to successfully carry an interview (Fisher, 2005, Wilson, 2003).
What is more, unstructured interviews offer flexibility interms of the flow of
the interview, thereby leaving room for the generation ofconclusions that were not
initially meant to be derived regarding a research subject. However, there is the
risk that the interview may deviate from the pre-specified research aims and
objectives (Gill & Johnson, 2002). There are two types of interview protocol that
can be conducted upon this research, the primary research questions, which are
not asked of the participants, and the interview questions that are based on the
primary research questions and are asked of the participants. Instruments should
be placed in an appendix, not in the body of the text. This researh also includes

43

either open-ended or semi-structured type of questionnaire and are validated and

approved by a certain group of professionals and experts.
Research Participants
Participants in this study were chosen by the process of purposeful
sampling which is widely used in qualitative research for the identification and
selection of information-rich cases related to the phenomenon of interest
(Palinkas, 2013)
The recommended number of participants used in this research is 5 house
husbands who share the same common grounds of being a house husband for
the length of over 2 years and above and either their wives works abroad or
locally as long as they usually be charge of the household for almost 24 hours
for a whole year.
In this study 3 were conducted out of 3 house husbands. There would be
the minimum of 3 interviews with each participant and the whole single session
could last for about the 30 minutes to one hour. Descisions for the interview
selection were based primarily on the availability of interview times that
correspend between the house husband participant and the reseacher.
Participants Characteristics.
The participants in this study ranges in age of 30 and above. It can be
included that the following house husband participants had a stable job before
they exchange the role of being the bread winner to their wives. The participants

44

in this study are a house husband or a stay at home dad to atleast 2 or more
children of their own. The following participants all share a common ground of
being a house husband for over 2 years and above and the take the complete
charge of taking care of the family and the house hold chores. Its is to be stated
that all tof the house husbands that participate in this study is physically well and
mentally stable during the period of interviews.
Data Gathering Procedures
To accomplish these tasks, I followed the three-phase procedure
described by Miles and Huberman (1994) which includes: (a) data reduction, (b)
data display, and (c) conclusion drawing and verification.
Data reduction is the first phase of qualitative data analysis (Miles &
Huberman, 1994). Data reduction involved the process of selecting, simplifying,
and extracting themes and patterns from written field notes, transcripts, and other
available resources.
Data displays are used to incorporate information into an accessible
summary to facilitate later conclusion drawing. Display techniques include
matrices and networks. Matrices are rows and columns of data that have been
extracted from coded transcripts and are organized according to themes,
complete with supporting quotations in support of the themes. Networks are
charts that summarize information by providing a picture of reduced data, as it
exists within the context of participants perspectives (Miles and Huberman,1994)

45

The final phase of data analysis, according to Miles and Huberman

(1994), consists of drawing initial conclusions based on cross-case data
displays and then subjecting these initial conclusions to verification procedures.
These procedures are intended to verify that findings are appropriate before they
are labeled as conclusive results. In qualitative research, results are verified and
deemed appropriate by evaluating their trustworthiness. The following section is
dedicated to discussing the establishment of trustworthiness of results.
Confidentiality
Stake (1995) cautioned qualitative researchers against narrow thinking,
and instead suggested that researchers learn to understand their research as
their participants do, rather than impose their own assumptions. In qualitative
research, these protocols come under the pseudo names to maintain the
confidentiality of all the participants (p.109).
All the House husbands participants will be given a copy of informed
consent that will serve as an agreement that in this research their identity will be
hidden under pseudo names of their own choice.
Data Collection
The researcher kept a research journal throughout the data collection and
analysis process. Immediately after each interview or set of interviews, the
researcher made a journal entry. These journal entries included notes on the
researchers perceptions of the participants and recollections of how the

46

participants behaved and spoke during the interviews. These notes were helpful
in allowing the researcher to recall the meanings of what participants said in the
interviews during the analysis process and identify any distractions or comments
the researcher felt were important to the findings.
When

conducting

interviews,

relationships

and

rapport

must

be

established, and coupled with trust: The purpose of interviewing is to find out
what is in and on someone elses mind. We interview people to find out from
them those things we cant observe (Patton, 1980, p. 196). Active listening and
nonjudgmental behavior are two of the common practices that should be
prioritized when interviewing and conducting research.
Esterberg (2002) described a pattern for general and specific questions,
called, openended questions, and cautioned against dichotomous or leading
questions, which could lead to a closed style of questioning. The intent for this
study was to make the interviews conversational. Conducting the interviews in
this way allowed me to put respondents at ease, and allowed for an optimal
interviewing environment. The use of video taping or sound recording will be
under the consent of the participants. The interview session will be based under
the availability of their time. There would be the minimum of 3 session each
participants that could last for the minimun of one(1) hour.

47

Chapter IV
Presentationof Results, Analysis and Interpretation
This chapter presents the result of my analysis and its interpretation
Q1: what is the life of a house husband?
HH1:
ah almost 12 years na. ah pag gising ko sa umaga syempre exercise muna
no, nag jo-jogging ako, nag wa-walking ako then pag pagdating ko sa ano mag
pe-prepare ako ng breakfast para sa family, ayan magpi-prito ka ng hotdog
ganyan itlog tapos bili ka ng pandesal para pagkain nila o kaya naman pag may
nagrequest na magsa-sangag, minsan sila na gumagawa eh pagkatapos ko mag
ano pag nagising na si misis, sabay-sabay kami nag be-breakfast tapos pag
naligo na si misis, lilinisin ko na yung kotse nya then pag naka alis na pupunta
naman ako ng palengke para sa tanghalian at saka hapunan. Pagbalik ko dito,
sa laundry naman oh, maglalaba ka. Pagdating ng tanghali wala pahinga ka na
nun, relax na. sa gabi naman mostly ang niluluto sa tanghali ganun narin sa gabi
eh wala na kase nagluluto naman, pagdating ng gabi wala ganun, family ano na
lang pag ka dumating si misis kwentuhan manuod kayo ng TV tapos pahinga na,
wala, wala masyadong ginagawa.eh okay lang din dahil pagod ka na sa
maghapon eh, nagexercise ka pa, naglakad ka for 1 and a half hours ganun
wala naman, wala okay lang. hindi naman ako nabobored pagka ganun eh kasi
marami kaming extra curricular lalo na sa YFC mas marami eh, mas marami nga

48

kong mga anak kaya lang ngayon meron akong apo kaya most of the time andun
ako sa apo. kase wala, parang halos ganun din eh kase nung nagtatatrabaho
ako sa ibang bansa wala namang mga katulong eh, ikaw lang din ang gagawa
eh, laundry o maglilinis ng bahay ganun din kaya pagdating ko rito parang
normal sakin eh. Ikaw din ang lahat basta lahat ng gagawin mo ay ikaw wala
na eh, hindi na pinaguusapan kase pagka may time din si misis gumagawa din
sya eh oo, nakikita din naman nya yung ano, halos parehas lang wala, walang
pinagkaiba pero pag wala pa sila, ikaw ang gagawa.oh edi naglilinis kaya lang
nagluluto, may nagluluto samin ngayon. ah wala naman kaming kasambahay
ah syempre lahat kung ano yung ginagawa ng nasa bahay naglalalaundry, naglalaba oh ano pa ba? Basta yung normal na ginagawa ng
house husband. ah sa asawa, siguro ano wala eh pinaglalaba mo rin eh
ganun tapos pinaglilinis mo ng sasakyan nya, oo kung may tig-isa kaming
sasakyan mas araw-araw nililinis ko ung sasakyan nya dahil yun ang gamit nya
sa anak naman, wala ganun din yung dalawa andito pa sa amin, dito pa
nakatigil edi kung ano yung ano pinaglalaba mo din ganun ah kung ano yung
ginawa nung nanay ganun din ginagawa nang tatay. Mahirap I-detalye eh diba ?
yun nga lang di mo na bibigyan ng pera malalaki na eh.

HH2:
actually since pinanganak yung anak ko ako na yung, kaming dalawa na ng
asawa ko yung nagtulungan kasi may OFW kami ah alam mo naman pag ofw

49

kayo lang mismo ang magtutulungan, walang nanay, walang tatay so dun
nag start yung ano yung pagiging ah pagiging nanay at tatay ko sa mga
anak koah mula nung pinanganak yung panganay ko hanggang maging
isang taon sya mga ganun ko sya inalagaan kasi yung wife ko isang guro sa
isang bansa sa libya so alam nyo naman yung guro ang hirap ng. trabaho nya
hindi natatapos lang sa school pati sa bahay may mga ginagawa pa kaya
sinusuportahan ko sya sa mga yung pagiging nanay nya eh ako na yung
ah.. ginagampanan ko na dahil sa hirap ng trabaho nya, syempre ah ikaw
yung ah maglalaba ng mga damit ng mga anak mo ah magaayos ng mga
gawaing bahay, sa pagtuturo sa kanila ng mga tamang pananalita nila,
tamang gawain nila ahmm bilang asawa naman kase basta niintindihan
nyong isat-isa andun yung pagmamahal nyo saka center si God sa buhay nyo
parang ganun na lang, ganun na lang kayo kabilis mag kaintindihan eh though
may mga panganagilangan kayong magasawa pero parang kwentuhan na lang
eh sa umaga, magiisip ka ng almusal ninyong mag a-ama ah syempre magiisip
ka parin ng pagkain nyo sa tanghali para hanggang hapon na eh gigising ka
talaga ng maaga dahil lalo na estudyante, may estudyante ka so iisipan mo na
lahat siguro ng pangbabaeng gawain ngayon kaya narin ng house
husband kase yung ganitong tipo ng ng buhay nyo yung malayo yung asawa
mo yun na yun, yun na yun ang gagawin mo. sa tanghali pagkatapos kumain
eh papatulugin mo syempre eh kailangan matulog sila tapos iisip ka na naman
ng meryenda nila (laugh) pag gising, oo ganun lang, ganun lang araw-araw
ganun lang ng ganun kaya yung pag ba-budget mo sa pera mo eh ah kelangan

50

nakatabi kasi kapag may hiningi at may pangangailangan kailangan meron kang
makukuha
sa umpisa dahil nakasama nila yung mommy nila mahilig sila magtanong
daddy si mommy? kelan uuwi? Puro ganun yung tanong nila kaya naisip namin
na ah tatawag sya sa gabi at meron kaming schedule sa ako Thursday
night, ynung mga anak ko Friday so ganun yung ano namin sakin kasi parang
nageenjoy ako dahil minsan ko lang to, minsan ko lang magagawa to kase
alam mo babae sila pag lumaki ang mga to hindi mo na magagawa na
paliguan sila, halikan sila,yakap-yakapin sila kase eto hanggang mga bata pa
sila parang ang sarap sa feeling na makasama sila habang bata pa sila well,
alam mo lalakit lalaki yan hindi, hindi na ganun yung mangyayare. kapag, nung
nagtatatrabaho ako wala akong, wala akong iniisip eh, trabaho lang eh, trabaho
lang, sarili ko lang eh gantong meron ka nang responsibilidad naka pokus ka
na sa mga anak mo na lang eh. ah ayun ikaw na nanay, ikaw pa tatay nila
eh ngayon nga nagaaral so ikaw parin nagtuturo, so ikaw na nagpapaligo,
ikaw na nagpapakain ngayon, mahirap mahirap na masaya dahil iinit ang
ulo mo na mapapatawa ka dahil napapasaya ka nang mga anak mo

HH3:
gaano katagal mga mula noong mga 15 years na siguro hindi ko na maalala
eh Luto ng pagkain, ;pagtapos mo magluto ng pagkain, naglilinis ng bahay, o
di kaya naman naghahatid at nagsusundo sa asawa ko saka sa anak ko. kapag

51

wala kang ginagawa, may bakanteng oras nagaayos ako ng mga pwedeng
ayusin tulad ng sirang mga gamit sa bahay mga kaya pang I repair ako na lang
gagawa yung iba kahit gawaing pang nanay ginagawa ko na din naglalaba,
naghuhugas ng plato mga ganung gawain ba. syempre gigising ka ng maaga,
may pasok yung anak mo eh aasikasuhin mo, pag nakapasok na sila
mamalengke tapos magluluto ng pagkain, ihahatid narin si misis sa trabaho, pag
tanghali na susunduin mo na yung anak mo tapos gawin mo na yung mga
gawaing bahay tapon sa hapon maghahanda ka ng meryenda nila kung mahaba
ang oras pwede ka ng tulog-tulog na lang. sa hapon mamalengke sa gabi
susunduin ko yung asawa ko. ganun lang paulit-ulit lang (laugh) hindi naman
na dapat paghatian yun syempre pag wala syang pasok alagaan din nya dapat
yung anak namin o kaya tulungan nya din ako maglinis pag walang pasok (mga
sabado o linggo) nasa kanya na rin yun kung gusto nya ko tulungan pero dahil
ako yung In charge kahit ako na kumilos sa bahay
Analysis:
The researcher asked all of the dads what a typical day is like for them.
Although their answers were obviously all somewhat different, there were many
commonalities as well. For the dads of very young children, the day was focused
around meals and naps. Naptime is typically the only downtime for the dads
when they can relax a bit, perhaps catch up on some housework or personal
things. As expected, there was a marked difference in the typical day for dads of
older children who are in daycare or school. For dads of these older kids, the day
is focused around the school/daycare schedule and whatever scheduled

52

afternoon/early evening activities there are. They typically had more time during
the day while their children were at school to do some housework, run errands,
exercise, or do some paid or volunteer part-time work. For these dads the late
afternoon / early evening periods were particularly busy, picking up the kids and
getting them to whatever afterschool activities the children might be doing that
day such as sports, music lessons, art classes or dance lessons. These dads
were generally still engaged in the various meal and clean-up activities as well as
the evening bedtime routines.
Two of the men in our study became a house husband when their first children
were born. They were faced with adapting to lives with babies as well as the
challenges of new roles, which in all cases were very different from the work they
had previously been doing. Because of various circumstances leading up to the
births, and their own desires to be active participants in parenting, they were
eagerly looking forward to the new roles and the transitions went smoothly. Jolas
(HH2) stated kapag, nung nagtatatrabaho ako wala akong, wala akong iniisip
eh, trabaho lang eh, trabaho lang, sarili ko lang eh gantong meron ka nang
responsibilidad naka pokus ka na sa mga anak mo na lang eh. ah ayun ikaw na
nanay, ikaw pa tatay nila eh ngayon nga nagaaral so ikaw parin nagtuturo, so
ikaw na nagpapaligo, ikaw na nagpapakain ngayon, mahirap mahirap na
masaya dahil iinit ang ulo mo na mapapatawa ka dahil napapasaya ka nang mga
anak mo They had a bit more time to adjust to their roles as fathers before being
thrust into the roles of full-time caregivers. But for the most part, the men were
happy to find themselves in new circumstances. But the experience was not

53

always rosy for most of the new house husbands. It was a bit of a culture shock
going from an active work environment with many adults around to a much more
isolated environment taking care of a single infant, or in some cases more than
one child. It definitely required some adjustment. when the fathers became a
house husband, and they assumed more of the domestic housework as well as
the childcare duties. Loreto (HH1) reported that the split was still about equal or
that their wives did a bit more, but they said that they were doing the majority or
nearly all of the domestic duties. wala na eh, hindi na pinaguusapan kase pagka
may time din si misis gumagawa din sya eh oo, nakikita din naman nya yung
ano, halos parehas lang wala, walang pinagkaiba pero pag wala pa sila, ikaw
ang gagawa.
As many stay-at-home mothers can attest, the days could drag on. The dads
werent sure what they should be doing. Some talked of being overwhelmed at
times and facing difficult moments when their children were screaming and
wouldnt stop. At other times, they felt bored, sometimes stressed, sometimes
alone and socially isolated. In situations where the fathers had been laid off, like
Jolas (HH2) naasar ako kase nung, ito nga ang nangyari eh nung gumadruate
yung anak ko ang costume nila eh K-pop, hindi ko, kelangan ko pa tanungin
yung wife ko, kelangan ko pa magresearch anong itsura ng k-Pop tapos nung
nasuot ko na, napasuot ko na at nakita ng misis ko yung video nagalit pa sakin
dahil hindi daw yun K-pop diba parang, kaya ang hirap pag desisyon ng mga
bagay lalo na sa ganyan

54

Q2:

What are the reasons why they make the descision of being a house

husband?

Why they stay as house husband?

HH1:
hindi ako naging succesful dun sa negosyo so siguro sabi ko magabroad nag
try ako sa japan, kaya nakarating ako sa japan for 14 years nagtrabaho dun TNT
walang uwian, oo so namiss ko yung mga anak ko for 14 years hindi
nakasama yung mga anak ko hindi talaga kase ano eh magnenegosyo na nga
ako eh,pinauwi na ko ng parents ko para mag negosyo oh ayaw nya na kong
humiwalay kase ganon nga kami eh family talagang gusto ng tatay ko, ng mga
parents ko nakikita nya lahat yung mga anak nya so no choice, binigyan ako ng
negosyo ganon ang nangyari wala. Unang-una mga bata, galing ako ng abroad
medyo malalayo sakin hindi sila gaano ka-intimate sa tatay dahil syempre para
kang stranger nung dumating dito eh, oo alam nila ako tatay nila pero pero yung
intimate relation namin hindi ganun eh, yung iba nararamdaman ko eh. So,
nasasabi ko mas maganda siguro kung dito ako sa bahay, oo para makita
nila ako ganyan, makasama pero pag nagtrabaho pa ko eh di ganon kaya
may chance pa nga akong bumalik ng abroad pero mas pinili ko na yung
pamilya ko eh. eh wala eh hindi na ko naghanap eh unang-una ang purpose
ko kaya kaya pinagpalit ko na yung trabaho kasi gusto ko makasama na ung
mga anak ko eh kasi kung babalik ako ng abroad talaga hindi dito sa pilipinas
kasi baka sayang yung pinaghihirapan ko konti lang ang ano kasi sanay na ko sa

55

abroad eh kaya pinagpalit ko yung sa akin, mas priority ko yung mga, yung
pamilya ko yung mga anak ko siguro nga, dahil may trabaho na rin sya (Misis).
Hindi na namin masyadong kelangan ng ano sobra, kailangan naman ngayon
dito sa bahay yungyung para dun sa mga bata kase noong umuwi ako
highschool , may highschool, puro highschool yung mga anak ko tapos isang
tapos na, kaya siguro ang ano ko hindi na ko magtatatrabaho talaga titignan
ko na lang yung mga bata at present sa edad ko? siguro wala na kong
planong magtrabaho pa. unang una, syempre hindi na ganon kalakas ang
katawan ko, pangalawa halos siguro ilang percent na lang ang natitira dun
sa pinagaralan ko, limot ko na yun. Hindi ko na ano, hindi ko na masyado
sigurong gampanan ung trabaho dito dahil marami ring competition mas
pinipili yung mas bata, hindi na siguro. hindi eh, kase yung trabaho sa bahay
di ka maboboring dahil naapreciate naman nung mga anak mo eh yung
ginagawa mo at saka may mga compliment ka naman na natatanggap
anyway, ganon nalalaman mo naman yun. ibang ano, wala na siguro at saka
yung yung trabaho dito parang hindi, sa edad ko hindi na ko pwedeng ano
eh oo, hindi na ko makakapasok, mahihirapan na ko eh kung hahanap ako
ng trabaho at sakaling magtatatrabaho ako ngayon pero siguro mababalanse
parin kase yung mga anak ko yung tatlo nasa abroad na lahat oh dalawa na lang
yung nandito may mga trabaho so sarili ko na lang ano, kung may chance pa
pero sa edad kong ito ngayon im 56 sino pa kukuha sayo baka magwawalis
na lang ako ng kalsada (laugh) hindi na eh, eh kase ganon, ang plano ko
noon mag nenegosyo kaya lang nung dumating ako dito wala akong alam

56

tungkol sa pilipinas kase for 14 years kaming nasa japan wala, wala akong alam
so nag ta try kami so yung perang naipon ko ginamit ko na lang sa pagaaral ng
mga anak ko. anyway nagtatrabaho naman si misis ganun na, ganun na
naging arrangements. Ako sa bahay, ako bahala sa mga bata, sya ang
magtatrabaho bukod dun sa mga perang naipon ko.sya narin ang
magmamanage, so tinurn over ko lahat sa kanya, yun ganun lang, oo hindi
naman ako nagluho(hihihi).

HH2:
ah.. nung nag graduate ako nung highschool ah nagtry na kong pumasok ng ah
pabrika at ah nung pagkatapos ko nang pabrika nag trabaho naman ako ah..
clerk sa pasig city hall pumasok ako bilang councilor ni Bong Tatco bilang staff
nya at paiba-iba, paiba-ibang trabaho yng napasukan ko, nag driver din ako yun
nga noong nasa libya ako kung ano-ano ang trabaho ko kase hindi ako
mabigyan ng working Visa dahil dependent ako nung wife ko, pumasok ako
noong waiter, ang electrician ko yun ah yun, nagpabrika din ako doon so madami
marami akong napasukan na trabaho eto nga yung last nasa ware house ako,
medical supplies ah siguro dahil hindi ako hindi ako para doon, inisip ko
lang sa tuwing may mangyayaring bagay hindi para sakin yun trabaho na yun isa
rin yun, isang dahilan din yun. Yung asawa ko dahil wala sa tabi namin at
hindi ka makapag focus pag nagkakasakit ung anak mo ikaw ang
hahanapin so nahahati eh, nahahati kaya nag stay na lang ako sa bahay

57

kasi pag naagtatatrabaho ka ng wala kang inaalala wala, wala lang eh yung
trabaho, wala kang iniisip pero ngayon pag meron ka nang responsibilidad sa
buhay mo syempre lagi mong iuuna yung pamilya mo uhmm ah pag
nagtatarabaho ka syempre para sa kanila to syemre yung sinusweldo mo
nakalaan sa kanila, onti na lang yung para sayo kasi merong kailangan katulad
ng mga pangangailangan sa pagkain,damit. siguro kung maayos na na
maayos yung lagay ng mga anak ko, may mag te-take over sakin bilang
ama kung may magaano sakin tawag dito? Magbabantay sa mga anak ko
yung hindi ako magkakaproblema siguro pepwede magtrabaho ulit. sa
una parang mahirap eh kase kami ng asawa ko noong nasa ibang bansa kami
ah iniisip na lang namin na talagang ganun ang mangyayari wala tayong nga
magulang tayong dalawa lang ang magtutulungan kaya ako, nagparaya ako sa
misis ko sige ako na lang magaasikaso ng mga bata mahirap yung trabaho
ng isang guro kaya hindi ko na iniisip na bakit ako magaalaga ganun. yun nga
eh, nung nagtatatrabaho ako ah bilang driver sobra, sobra yung oras hindi lang
otso oras yung trabaho ko eh siguro aabot ng sampung oras yung trabaho so
uuwi ka ng bahay magaasikaso ka pa sa mga anak mo so mahirap,
nahihirapan talaga ako nung time na yun mahirap balansehin ahh
yung desisyon na mag-ibang bansa napaka-hirap, napakahirap na para sakin
yun kase ako yung mag te-take over sa mga responsibilidad bilang nanay
sa mga anak nya, nasa akin Iniisip ko na lang na parte ng buhay namin yun
na talagang yun ang sitwasyon pinagbigyan ko na lang. isa yung ah
wala yung misis ko, wala yung wife ko at ah mula nung pinanganak yung mga

58

anak ko kase ako na yung kasama eh so yung pagiyak nila sa araw-araw at

sa gabi ikaw na yung kasama nila eh kapag nagkasakit sila wala silang
ibang bukang bibig kundi pangalan mo malaking epekto sa trabaho yung
single parent ka no yung ikaw yung nagaasikaso sa pamilya mo kahit na meron
ka, may nagbabantay sa mga anak mo dahil sila yung nakasama mo mula
maliliit sila hanggang sa nagka isip sila andun parin, andun parin nasa isip mo pa
din na kailangan ka nila sa umaga hanggang sa gabi. Kaya hindi ka
makakapagtrabaho ng maayos eh pag ikaw nag overtime ka iniisip mo
agad sino nang magaasikaso sa mga anak mo kaya hindi ka makakahanap
ng trabaho ng maayos dahil sa ganung sitwasyon. oo, malaki yun siguro
kahit dito sya nagtatrabaho o mangyayari din dito yun diba ang guro dito diba
hindi lang eskwelahan ang kanilang trabaho pati pa sa bahay nakita ko yun kase
yung asawa ko paggaling sa school pagdating dito gagawa ng lesson plan,
nakatutok talaga sa libro talagang matutulog sya ng late na late na talaga kaya
ayun natutunan ko na asikasuhin sya kaya siguro ganun ung ano

HH3:
noong ano pa ko babata-bata pa naging driver ako ng isang kompanya kaya
lang 6 na buwan lang yun kase noong mga panahon na yun kontraktwal kase
wala pa kng experience noon sa trabaho tapos pagkatapos ko noon magtrabaho
sa kompanya kinuha naman ako ng tatay ko sa barangay para maging driver
para sa barangay kase nga kapitan sya noon. Dun medyo nagtagal tagal ako

59

don hanggang sa nakapag asawa ako. simple lang naman yun iniwan ko yun
kase nga una may anak na ko tapos hindi sapat yung kita ko noon sa pag didrive para sa barangay eh yung si misis naman magtatrabaho nun mas
malaki laki kahit papano ang kikitain nya sa factory gawa ng madali din
naman syang magpa factory noon kase may experience na una dyan eh
yung hindi ako nakapagtapos ng kolehiyo kasi tinamad ako ipagpatuloy yung
pagaaral ko noon eh. Tapos nagkasakit ako sa buto noon kaya hindi na ko
pwedeng magbuhat ng mabibigat o sobrang mapagod saka kasi madali
matanggap yung asawa ko sa trabaho kumpara sa akin kaya sya na lang
ang magtatrabaho saka kasi walang magaalaga sa mga anak namin eh
saka mas sanay naman ako sa gawaing bahay kaya ayun naging house
husband ako. oo, sinubukan ko naman kaso hindi ako tumatagal. Minsan
magaaply pa lang ako iniisip ko na kung paano kung yung magaalaga eh hindi
kaya nung magbabantay. Minsan naririnig mo silang umiiyak kahit wala
naman, kaya kahit gusto ko na noon pa magtrabaho eh yung asawa ko
ayaw naman magresign kaya wala parin talagang mangyayari. Dito lang
talaga ako sa bahay noon hanggang ngayon. oo kase naregular na sya
doon eh, okay naman din yung sweldo nya kaya lagi namin naiisip na mahirap
pag nagsimula ulit kami sa simula, sa wala ba, kaya siguro hindi na rin ako
nakapaghanap ng trabaho noon.

60

Analysis
One of the questions the researcher was interested in exploring was how the
house husband made the decision to leave the workplace and stay with their
children full-time. In order to better understand this decision, the researcher first
explored the house husbands level of satisfaction with the work they were doing
before transitioning into this role. Surprisingly house husband no. 3 (HH3)
expressed any lament over giving up his work in order to be at home with his
children despite the fathers overall satisfaction with their careers, the
circumstances at their workplaces or with their workloads had prompted
rethinking their options. Long work hours, often coupled with wives who also had
challenging schedules, made the decisions to leave the workplaces obvious or
even necessary. Most often the actual decisions to be at-home dads reflected
two major considerations: the couples financial circumstances and their values
regarding how their children should be raised and by whom. The house husband
no.3 (HH3). As explored with the research participants, their spouses earnings or
potential earnings were greater than the fathers. The other factor that was clear
in many of our interviews was that the decisions often reflected strong desires on
the parts of both spouses to have one parent at home with the children. When
asked whether they thought they would have considered being at-home dads
earlier in their careers and lives, the fathers were evenly split between those who
had never given the idea a lot of thought and those who had considered it for
some time. But it seemed clear that some combination of the finances working
out (and their wives earning an adequate income), some frustration on the job

61

front, concerns about daycare, and the value of a parent being at home seemed
to be common factors to many, if not most of the decisions.

Q3: What are the effects of being a house husband in the fathers sense of
self, self-worth and self-affectiveness?

HH1:
wala, simpleng buhay na lang. ah ang iniisip na lang namin yung mga bata,
oo kase yun naman talaga ang pakay ng mga magulang yung mga bata kung
paano nila papalakihin at saka paano nila yung mga apo, ganoon din pero
normally pansarili? Wala na, wala ka nang hinahangad nga eh, para sa amin
pero mostly sa mga ano lang kaya simpleng buhay lang kami ganun. ay siguro
hanggang pangmatagalan nato dahil malapit narin mag retired si misis eh
siguro na nga lang saka isa pa yung mga anak ko naman eh may kanya-kanya
na may mga trabaho so ang iniintindi na lang namin ay yung sa amin tapos
minsan naman pag may ano, nagpapadala din yung mga bata kahit di mo
naman hinihingan, pinipilit sayo kung anong meron sila sine-share din, oo ganun
lang ah hindi eh, okay lang wala namang problema basta ang priority namin eh
maayos yung pamilya saka present hindi na ano yun, hindi na tinitignan ngayon
yun eh lalo nasa couples balewala eh, hindi, hindi walang problema kase ang
laki na ng naishare mo sa pamilya eh siguro its about time to rest

62

hindi ganun parin, hindi syempre submissive parin yung mga wife namin sa
amin kahit kami yung house husband, sumusunod parin sila hindi sila ano bang
tawag doon ah hindi sila nagaano hanggat hindi kami kinokonsulta kunyare
yung sa magasawa saka kami magdedecide, descision making kelangan sa
magasawa o kaya minsan kung ikaw kaya mo nang desisyunan ,
dedesisyunan mo na kase ikaw parin ang head of the family eh. ah
successful lahat ng pinalano ko since magasawa parang successful na wala na
kong hinahangad basta ang gusto ko maayos yung mga anak ko. ah very
comfortable wala,wala no regrets. wala naman, normal naman,oh sa pamilya
ni misis ganun din, sa pamilya ko wala,walang problema. ay hindi wala, kase
alam nilang ang laki ng tiniis ko sa abroad noon eh hindi naman ako nagpabaya
eh sa akin hindi na uso yung carreer tapos na siguro, siguro ang masasabi
ko na lang magulang na lang sa anak kase wala na, wala na akong
hinahangad pa meron naman kahit papano hindi naman nawawalan, tama
lang oh eh wala na, wala kase meron din akong sasakyan, may sasakyan din si
misis, may kita naman sya oh eh wala namang problema may kinakain 3 time a
day ganun may bahay, may sariling bahay wala na basta ganun na kung
magreretired man si misis, ganun na kami as in wala na hindi na kami
naghahangad ng sobra-sobra tama lang sa akin pareho eh, kung isa lang eh
sa akin siguro dahil ako ay house husband edi yung binabantayn yung mga
anak siguro pero kung nagtatrabaho kaya din naman eh kaya nga lang ah
ano hindi full ung attention mo sa kanila pwedeng ibilin mo kung kani-kanino
ganyan sa mga kamag-anak ganon so akin hindi na eh ang lalaki na kasi ng mga

63

anak ko eh. eh siguro ngayon hindi na ako provider kase wala na kong
ipo-provide eh pero noon naman hindi, ang mas focus ko sa pam-family
talaga kaya ako nag abroad so ang masasabi ko lang eh wala na, ganun na lang
kung parang parents sa mga anak, parang ganun na lang. wala, natuto
kang mag ano, naging magulang ka sa mga anak mo hindi kamuka noong
nasa abroad kami ang iniisip lang namin magpadala ng pera kung ano yung
gusto ng mga bata, papadala mo o humihiling ng toy ibibigay mo pero yung pera
pala hindi pala yun batayan ng pagpapalaki ng anak kasi akala ko pagdating ko
dito ganun ka-intimate yung mga bata, hindi eh malayo pa rin sayo kahit na alam
na ikaw yung nagpoprovide sa kanila ng mga gusto nila eh may mga ipabibili.
Hindi ganun. wala naman, hindi naman namin napaguusapan actually alam
naman nya. Minsan thankful pa nga sya eh pagka mga ano eh kase may
gumagawa hindi kamuka nung magisa sya rito, sya lahat ang gumagawa, sya
ang mag peprepare ng mga baon ng mga anak nya eh during that time maliliit pa
yung mga bata eh ngayon malalaki na yung mga anak ko hindi na na ano sya
naman inaalagaan ko,yung wife ko syempre. wala, walang pagbabago.
Ganun parin nagmamahalan parin kaya may forever nga eh. wala akong maisip
na epekto ang pagiging house husband, yung mga anak ko edi wala, wala
namang problema alam nila daddy nila hindi na kukuha ng trabaho, ayaw na
rin pagtrabaahuhin ng mga bata, mas gusto nila andito na lang yung daddy
nila lalo na may mga trabaho narin naman sila kase pag nagtrabaho pa ko eh
iba mapapabayaan na yung kunyare may mga maliliit ka pa na ano mga apo,
hindi na siguro, wala na. Oo, okay lang. bakit? Wala naman masama doon dahil

64

unang-una talagang totoo naman eh diba at saka no regrets naman ako sa

pagiging house husband.

HH2:
ngayon, ah gusto ko lang mabuhay para para maalagaan ko yung mga
anak ko, masustentuhan ko sila at ayun maging malakas. mula noong
maging magasawa kami ah dahil gusto nya talagang ano advocacy nya yung
pagtuturo ah nakatatak nasa sa isip ko na maiiwan at maiiwan ako eh sa una
parang

ang

ang

hirap,

mahirap

eh

pero

unti-unti

ko

namang

nagagampanan hindi ako nasa pilitan eh na napilitan lang eh no. tingin ko

eto na yung eto yung talagang pangyayari sa akin dahil mas pinili namin na
magkahiwalay kami kaya siguro ganito yung nangyari sa buhay namin na
magkalayo kami. Hindi na napilitan eh talagang napagdesisyunan lang namin
ah kasi yung relasyon namin binatat dalaga pa kami nagdesisyun na sya na
nasa malayo sya so kase ang guro kasi diba every 10 months lang yung
pagtuturo so every 10 months sya umuuwi eh yun nga nagkaroon ng nabuntis
sya, nagpakasal kami, nagsama kami eh nung time na yun nabuntis yung misis
ko nasa ibang bansa eh so kelangan kong puntahan sya doon kase bawal ang
buntis sa arab country na walang ama, walang asawa so kailangan kong mag
resign sa trabaho para puntahan lang sya so dun palang, dun palang
sinakripisyo ko na yung pagiging ano ko pagiging lalaki diba kase
sinakripisyo ko na para puntahan lang sya doon. kapag, nung

65

nagtatatrabaho ako wala akong, wala akong iniisip eh, trabaho lang eh, trabaho
lang, sarili ko lang eh gantong meron ka nang responsibilidad naka pokus ka
na sa mga anak mo na lang eh ah nanibago ako kase may mga barkada
tayo pag may magyaya sa atin, gimick na ganito hindi kana makaka oo
ngayon dahil iniisip mo meron kang anak na babantayan dahil pag umalis
ka may maririnig ka sa tenga mo na umiiyak na may nagaantay sayo so
ganun. ah oo, sa akin malaki dahil lumaki kasi akong marami akong
nakakahalubilong tao kasi na involve ako sa pulitika ah marami din akong
kaibigan yun nga eh may bisyo rin ako nung time na yun ahh.. talagang
malaking-malaking pagbabago dahil masasabi ng mga kaibigan mo na
hindi na umiinom, hindi narin ako naninigarilyo, hindi na ko sumasama sa
gimikan so kase may mga kaibigan naman akong naiintindihan naman kaso
may mga kaibigan ka ding nagtatampo sayo dahil hindi na ganun yung ginagawa
mo dati, nagbago na. ah ngayon kase may mga ganun narin eh may mga
house husband na rin kase ah pero mas lamang ata yung mga nanay ang
nasa loob ng bahay pero kasi kaming mga house husband eh kokonti lang
kami pero siguro matatangap na din kami ng society natin na ang lalake
ngayon eh pwede nang sa loob ng bahay oo , kasi makakahalubilo mo
mga nanay na eh katulad ng paghahatid mo sa, sa school mga nanay ang
naandoon eh lalo na pag mag gi-gimick kayo ng mga anak mo nanay parin yung
kasama at may kasamang nanay at tatay eh kami tatay-nanay na halos sa
bahay namin. So kami lang talagang tatlo, kami lang talaga. ah.. hindi
naman, hindi naman ganun kalaki na naapektuhan kase nakaplano kase ah

66

nakapokus ka kase na kaya ka ganito dahil ganito yung sitwasyon mo

kailangan gampanan mo yung hindi nagagamapanan ng asawa mo dahil
malayo, malayo sya, ganun ganun lang iniisip ko na lang na ganun eh hindi
ko na iniisip na ako ang lalaki dapat ako yung ano may sometimes nga
na na naisip ko noon ako naman sana, ako naman ang nasa abroad
sya naman dito para naman maranasan nya yung, paano ang pagiging
isang magulang sa mga anak namin pero ganun talaga eh gampanan mo
na lang kung anong iniwan sayo ah hindi ko masasabi na naging maayos
ako sa pagpapalaki ng mga anak ko ngayon kase kahit na anong sabihin mo sa
kanila sa mga anak mo, anong pangaral mo, gaano mo sila bantayan alam mo
ang panahon ngayon yung society natin malaking impluwensya lalo na nakatira
kami sa depressed area pag sumilip ka lang sa bintana mo makikita mo,
maririnig mo nagmumurahan na, so nakakatakot para sa mga nak mo dahil hindi
mo hawak ang ano ang panahon diba, masaya ako sa ginagawa ko and
nakikita ko na masaya yung anak ko ayun nga sinusubukan ko na maging
maayos sila na magampanan ko yung dapat kong gampanan ko sa kanila.
ah sa pamilya syempre andyan yung pupunahin ka eh ng mga magulang mo
syempre may nakikita silang siguro hindi maganda sa paningin nila,
maipag kukumpara nila yung mga ginawa nila dati sayo at yung mga ginagawa
mo ngayon sa anak mo so may mga sometimes na oh hindi pwede to, oh
dapat ganito ka andun parin sila para suportahan ka ah yung iba nagtaka,
yung iba tumawa, may iba naman na natuwa dahil dahil nakita nila naman kung
gaano ko pinahahalagahan yung pamilya ko kase bilang isang lalaki at bilang

67

isang ama napakahirap na gampanan talaga yung bilang isang ano,

houseband dahil sa sitwasyon namin ngayon tingin ko yung pagiging full-tine
house

parent ang ano ko nakikita ko, yun nga tulad ng sinabi ko yung

istwasyon namin malayo yung wife ko walang mag te-take over nung.. nung mga
gawain, mga responsibilidad nya bilang isang ina sa mga anak ko so yun yung
ginagampanan ko ngayon sa kanila yung pagiging amat ina sa mga anak ko ay
oo, oo kasi magugulo sila parang lalaki eh yung malilikot sila, pag masakit ang
ulo mo tapos makakarinig ka nang ingay medyo pero piagaaralan ko yung
tempered yung sarili mo pagaralan mo papano mo mahahandle yung mga
ganung sitaw kase yang mga bata kapag lumalaki maraming tanong na yan eh
magulo na asyo yan eh, magulo so yun inaano ko lang mina-managed ko lang
siguro yung init ng ulo ko, yung stress ko.
ah yung pananaw ko dyan dalawa eh kasi kung nagtatatrabaho ka at
pinapabayaan mo naman yung mga anak mo walang kwenta, kung ikaw naman
ang nagpapalaki ng pamilya mo hindi ka nagtatrabaho at hindi mo
nagagampanan ng maayos yung responsibilidad mo sa mga anak mo wala ring
kwenta siguro magtrabaho ka pero gampanan mo yung pagiging magulang mo
syempre kelangan I-provide mo yung mga pangangailangan nila, syempre
kelangan marunong din silang ah makilala yung panginoon kase sabi nga nila
kung wala ang panginoon sa inyo wala ring mangyayari tala hindi ko masasabi
na maayos kase (laugh) mahirap talaga na ikaw lang magisa no, may mga
palpak, lalaki ako, babae yung mga anak ko syempre ang laro ko basketball
syempre laro nila barbie diba parang hindi ako makapag basketball na kasama

68

ko yung mga anak ko so inaano ko na lang binabagay ko kung kailangan ko

maglaro ng barbie, bakit hindi diba? sa akin, ang pagiging magulang hindi lang
siguro ahm concern ka sa mga anak mo kumbaga ipakita mo na, ipakita mo sa
kanila na na ang pagiging ama ay hindi lang natatapos, hindi lang sya natatapos
yung, sige bata pa kayo, sige gagampanan ko ang pagiging magulang ko
kapag malaki na kayo wala na, siguro hanggang sa tumanda sila mula bata
hanggang tumanda sila ipakita mo na magulang ka sakin kasi parang
nageenjoy ako dahil minsan ko lang to, minsan ko lang magagawa to kase
alam mo babae sila pag lumaki ang mga to hindi mo na magagawa na paliguan
sila, halikan sila,yakap-yakapin sila kase eto hanggang mga bata pa sila parang
ang sarap sa feeling na makasama sila habang bata pa sila well, alam mo lalakit
lalaki yan hindi, hindi na ganun yung mangyayare. yung pag dedesisyon lalo na
sa mga anak mo kapag nagkasakit sila, kapag merong school kase merong
parin akong asawa na kelangan kong tanungin at hingan ng opinyon para sa
mga anak mo, para sa mga anak ko hindi yung dahil ako yung nagaalaga ako na
ang masusunod, hindi hinihingi ko parin yung opinyon ng asawa ko malaking,
malaking pagbabago ko kase sabi ko nga mga babae yung anak ko syempre
kelangan kilos babae, pananalita babae, pati ikaw ganun narin mangyayari
sayo (laugh) parang babae ka narin kumilos naasar ako kase nung, ito nga
ang nangyari eh nung gumadruate yung anak ko ang costume nila eh K-pop,
hindi ko, kelangan ko pa tanungin yung wife ko, kelangan ko pa magresearch
anong itsura ng k-Pop tapos nung nasuot ko na, napasuot ko na at nakita ng

69

misis ko yung video nagalit pa sakin dahil hindi daw yun K-pop diba parang,
kaya ang hirap pag desisyon ng mga bagay lalo na sa ganyan
ah meron yatang natanong yung panganay ko ah, nagtatanong sya nasaan ang
mommy nya bakit ikaw ang kasama namin, minsan sinasabi ko na lang na si
mommy nya nagtatrabaho sa ibang bansa kaya si daddy muna ang kasama nyo
ngayon pero darating yung panahon uuwi naman si mommy, si daddy naman
ang magtatrabaho. Kinakausap ko lang sila ng maayos siguro ang nanay
talaga, nanay ang napaka importante kase ano mas alam nila mas dama nila
ang pagaalaga at pagaasikaso ngmga bata kesa sa tatay pero sa tingin ko
parang unti-unti nakukuha narin ng mga tatay yan eh sabi nga nila sa darating
na panahon na ang mga tatay na ang magsasaing at magluluto ngayon
nangyayari na talaga eh sila na naglalaba

HH3:
siguro ganito parin, nagaalaga ng mga anak sakaling lumaki sila at yung
bunso ko kaya na nilang , pwede na silang maiwan-iwan makapag negosyo kase
sa edad ko ngayon di mo naman masabi na makapasok pa ko ng trabaho kaya
siguro ayun na lang. simpleng hangarin na lang mapalaki ko lang ng tama
yung mga anak ko. una, hindi kase akala ko ako yung magtatrabaho bilang
ako nga yung nakapag kolehiyo sa amin, bread winner ba. Tapos yung asawa
gusto talagang maging housewife lagi kong naiisip noon na ganito na ako
lagi na lang ako nasa bahay tapos yung asawa ko na yung nagtatrabaho.

70

matagal na siguro, simula noong na regular ang misis ko sa trabaho nya

napagisip isip ko na na ako na yung tatayong nanay dito sa bahay. Hindi madali
pero wala ka namang magagawa andito ka na eh, gawin mo na lang yung dapat
mong gawin. okay naman, hindi mo maalis yung bilang ako lalaki makikita ka
ng mga lalaki, makikita ka nang mga kaibigan mo dati mga ka tropa na ikaw
parang wala kang trabaho ganyan hindi ikaw yung kumikita sa inyo, hindi
ikaw yung nagpapakain sa pamilya mo syempre and konsepto nung tatay
ba Yung iba hindi nagsasalita pero para kang inaasar kase alam nila na
ikaw yun taong bahay hindi ikaw yun nagtatrabaho para sa pamilya mo
yung iba oo yung iba hindi kase yung iba, yung kaibigan ko supportive naman
sila naiintindihan naman nila pero yung mga katropa lang madalas nangaasar,
mangiinis kase sasabihin nila na ako daw yung lalaki ako yung
nagtatrabaho, kumikita para sa pamilya di ko masasabi ang o madescribe
ang sarili ko ngayon. nakikita ko lang ngayon masaya ako na kasama ko
yung mga anak ko, nagka bonding kami, naging malapit kami sa anak ko
yun lang masasabi ko syempre noong umpisa noong bata bata pa ko okay
lang komportable ako pero habang tumatagal lumalabas yung ugali ng lalaki na
mas gusto mo na ikaw na yung nagbibigay sa asawa mo kaysa sa ikaw yung
kailangan humingi at saka natural lang naman sa lalaki talaga yun kase
gugustuhin at gugustuhin mo talaga kase na maghanap ng trabaho
gugustuhin mo na ikaw yung kumita ikaw yung sumuporta sa pamilya mo
nature ng lalaki yan eh syempre una nagulat sila may trabaho naman ako,
kumikita naman ako noon sa pag didrive pero bakit ko daw ni give up yun bakit

71

ko daw inalisan bakit daw mas pinili ko maging taong bahay syempre yung
ano nila na ikaw bialng lalaki yung natural ba na ikaw yung kumikita lalo na
yun gmga magulang ko gusto nila ako yung bumubuhay sa pamilya ko ba,
yung sabi nila hindi ka daw uunderin pero habang tumatagal naiintindihan
naman nila kung bakit mas pinili kong nasa bahay lang pero kung sakali sana
gusto ko talagang magtrabaho eh syempre yung iba nagtatanong kung bakit
pinili mo maging ganyan, bakit ka naging ganyan diba natural na sa tao yun na
nagtatanong yung iba hindi maganda, negatib yung tingin nila sakin yung
iba sinasabi nila na tamad daw natural yun kase hindi nila alam kung ano
yung sitwasyon ko. syempre sa sitwasyon ko ngayon ang nakikita ko ngayon
eh isang full time na tatay ginagawa ko yung mga gawain ko para sa mga anak
ko nagkakaroon ako ng time para sa pamilya ko para sa mga anak ko,
nagagampanan ko yun. siguro yung bang nagtatrabaho pero at the same time
nag aalaga parin. Kase aanhin mo yung tatay na panay trabaho eh wala namang
panahon para sa anak nya, sa pamilya nya. At kung nasa bahay ka dapat gawin
mo din yung mga inaasahan sayong gawin para naman kahit wala ka mang
trabaho nagagampanan mo naman yung dapat mong gawin bilang tatay at saka
asawa hindi ako perkpektong tatay alam ko naman yun, ang dami ko ding
di mapunan ba katulad ng mga gusto ng anak, pag may gusto silang ipabili
hindi ko ba mabigay kase wala akong pera eh. Hindi ko maibigay yung mga
gusto nila kaya mahirap din sakin na ganito yung sitwasyon saka hindi naman
ako kasing galing ng nanay nila magalaga, minsan naiistress din ako lalo na pag
pagod ka na buong maghapon oo kase ang mabuting magulang talaga eh

72

yung inaalagaan yung anak nila saka inaasikaso yung asawa kahit hindi ko
man magampanan yung pagiging bread winner basta ba maging okay lang
yung mga anak ko, okay na yun sakin. syempre yung makakasama mo
yung mga anak mo, makikita mo at mababantayan mo sila sa paglaki nila,
masarap sa pakiramdam na kahit ganito, alam mong mababantayan mo sila sa
paglaki ganun siguro yung kahit anong gawin mong effort sa pagaalaga o
pagaasikaso sa bahay parang hindi parin sapat eh, parang sa iba mas iba parin
magalaga yung nanay eh, saka yung ano ba iniisip ng ibang tao kahit minsan
yung asawa mo parang pag wala ka kasing pag hindi ka sumesweldo
mahirap eh parang hindi mo nagagampanan yung pagiging tatay para ka
lang ano para ka lang nanay. siguro eto yung naging responsible ako sa
bahay, parang mas naging maalaga ako sa mga anak ko, parang minsan
masarap sa feeling yung ano ba nakikita mo na okay naman yung pagpapalaki
mo, na pwede ka pala maging tatay at pati nanay sa pamilya syempre dahil
sya yung nagtatrabaho lagi syang pagod kada uwi, minsan parang maiisip mo na
sana ako na lang yung magtrabaho , minsan may hindi kami pagkakaunawaan
kase minsan pinipilit ko sya na tumigil pero ayaw nya kase regular na daw sya
doon mahirap na daw na umalis sya sayang daw yung mga benefits, minsan
kase parang gusto mo na magiging nanay ba sya sa anak mo pero dahil pagod
sya lagi hindi na nya minsan nagagawa yung mga pagiging nanay nya sa mga
anak namin. minsan magtatanong bakit, pero naipapaliwanag ko naman na
ganun talaga si mama ang nagtatrabaho ako dito sa bahay, medyo ms

73

malapit sila sa akin kasi ako yung nakasama nila sa paglaki eh, pareho pang
lalaki yung bunso ko kaya mas malapit talaga sakin

Analysis:
We asked the fathers if they consider themselves as good fathers. The
house husbands typically commented that they thought they were doing a very
good job, but there was still room for improvement. The house husbands that the
researcher talked with were comfortable being at-home parents. They have had
time to adjust to the role and for the most part have accepted it. Loreto (HH1)
commented: wala na kong hinahangad basta ang gusto ko maayos yung mga
anak ko. ah very comfortable wala,wala no regrets.Some expressed mixed
feelings about the role. They enjoyed the time they spent with their children, but
felt discomfort with some of the negative perceptions that others held of them.
According to Patrick (HH3) syempre yung iba nagtatanong kung bakit pinili mo
maging ganyan, bakit ka naging ganyan diba natural na sa tao yun na
nagtatanong yung iba hindi maganda, negatib yung tingin nila sakin yung iba
sinasabi nila na tamad daw natural yun kase hindi nila alam kung ano yung
sitwasyon ko.

House husbands cited a variety of reactions from others

regarding their roles as full-time parents. Many stated that initially, their families
didnt always understand or accept why they were at home full-time, but upon
seeing how well it was working for their families, supported the decision
completely. Jolas (HH2) for intance, revealed that now that his relatives

74

recognized this, he felt accepted in this role, ah sa pamilya syempre andyan

yung pupunahin ka eh ng mga magulang mo syempre may nakikita silang siguro
hindi maganda sa paningin nila, maipag kukumpara nila yung mga ginawa nila
dati sayo at yung mga ginagawa mo ngayon sa anak mo so may mga
sometimes na oh hindi pwede to, oh dapat ganito ka andun parin sila para
suportahan ka
Strangers often had mixed reactions, sometimes interested in and
supportive of the House husbands, yet other times unsure how to respond upon
learning about their role. House husbands cited overwhelming positive
responses, while others felt that judgments were made about how their families
could afford to have someone home, or what the fathers did all day while at
home. They found that some men were envious of their role, while others said
they could never do it themselves.

The interviewees found themselves

wondering what wasnt being said by others regarding their role as a full-time
parent. Sometimes they knew others had their reservations or judgments, but just
were not expressing them directly and sometimes this affect their self-worth and
just act like they dont really care about what other people says.
This research generally supported previous studies that found that house
husbbands often struggled with feelings of social isolation. Those feelings, along
with the lack of an effective social network, were cited by the fathers in this study
as one of the aspects of the role they liked least. According to Jolas (HH2) ah
nanibago ako kase may mga barkada tayo pag may magyaya sa atin, gimick na
ganito hindi kana makaka oo ngayon dahil iniisip mo meron kang anak na

75

babantayan dahil pag umalis ka may maririnig ka sa tenga mo na umiiyak na

may nagaantay sayo so ganun.
The importance of work has often been tied closely to the male identity. As
Nicholas Townsend, author of The Package Deal writes, Mens prestige, their
value to others, and their self-worth are measured by their identity as workers
and their earnings from their work. Men who do not have jobs are frequently
branded as unworthy, morally inferior, and failures as men (2002).
Many of the fathers, particularly those who had been in the at-home dad
role for two years or longer, and were comfortable with the role, simply said Im a
house husband. Loreto (HH1) said okay lang. bakit? Wala naman masama
doon dahil unang-una talagang totoo naman eh diba at saka no regrets naman
ako sa pagiging house husband.
Many of the fathers had more mixed feelings about how they identified
themselves. Patrick (HH3) commented that kahit hindi ko man magampanan
yung pagiging bread winner basta ba maging okay lang yung mga anak ko, okay
na yun sakin.
Nearly all of the men were able to point to a number of ways that being an
at-home dad had changed them. Their awareness of what it takes to be an
effective at-home parent increased as did their empathy for others in this role.
They had become more patient, more relaxed and calmer. Several commented
that they were now more competent doing the family chores. Some felt better
able to focus and be more productive. All felt that they had developed closer

76

relationships with their children. The house husbands that the researcher spoke
to felt that their families had thrived as a result of having them at-home full-time.
From the reactions of their children and spouses to the impact on their financial
situations and spouses careers/work experiences, most fathers perceived that
their family unit was doing well in this arrangement. Most of their children had
only ever known having their dad at home, and therefore felt nothing strange or
atypical about being raised in this caregiving arrangement. When it came to their
spouses, fathers cited a range of generally positive reactions to their role as a
full-time parent. They mostly felt supported and appreciated by their spouses
The changes were not all positive however, with some fathers citing
discomfort about financial issues, about their spouses stressful work experiences
or demanding schedules, or about their spouses lack of knowledge regarding the
daily ins and outs of their families lives. Patrick (HH3) for instance, responded
that syempre dahil sya yung nagtatrabaho lagi syang pagod kada uwi, minsan
parang maiisip mo na sana ako na lang yung magtrabaho , minsan may hindi
kami pagkakaunawaan kase minsan pinipilit ko sya na tumigil pero ayaw nya
kase regular na daw sya doon mahirap na daw na umalis sya sayang daw yung
mga benefits, minsan kase parang gusto mo na magiging nanay ba sya sa anak
mo pero dahil pagod sya lagi hindi na nya minsan nagagawa yung mga pagiging
nanay nya sa mga anak namin.
We asked the fathers if they chose or needed to return to work in the near
future, are there ways that they would approach their work and their work-life
balance differently. The house husbands in this study said that they would look

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for jobs that provided more flexibility, jobs that enabled better work-life balance.
Only one of the fathers (HH3) said that he would like to go back to a challenging
position that would demand travel and long hours or working abroad. The rest all
wanted to have work that would allow them to spend a significant amount of time
with their children. Similar to the situation for many at-home mothers, the fathers
acknowledge it will not be easy to return to the workforce and that the longer they
are in the role of house husbands, the harder it will be to do so. Some talked
about the need for additional training to bring their skills to the needed level
which shows how staying as a house husband for too long can affect the selfaffectiveness of this fathers as the provider and the breadwinner.

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Chapter V
Summary, Conclusion & Recommendation
This research is focus on todays fathers who were significantly committed
to and acting on their desire to be engaged caregivers while at the same time
documenting the frustrations they felt when they were unable to do so. But there
were some seemingly obvious flaws in most of our participants career-life
planning that perhaps led to their frustration. The researcher chose to focus this
study on those fathers whose commitment to hands-on parenting would be
difficult to question: the small but rapidly growing number of men who provide
care for their children on a full-time basis as house husbands. These men have
chosen, for a variety of reasons, to be the primary full-time caregivers to the
children in their families. We wanted to better understand these fathers, to see
why they left the workforce and why they stay as house husband, how this
changes affect their self-worth and self-affectiveness.
Findings
Each interview was unique and interesting in its own way. I had no formula
or model to follow. I did use an extensive interview guide; but it was just that: a
guide. I used these questions to get at the major topics I hoped to discuss, but I
did not follow it religiously. I let each interview follow its own course, and
encouraged respondents to elaborate on whatever subjects they desired. In fact,
when

contacting

respondents

about

the

interviews,

used

the

term

conversation, rather than interview. I hoped that this more conversational and

79

informal tone, would help build rapport with respondents, and also foster more
open, honest, and insightful responses.
It is difficult to go through this data and count the number of yess or
nos to a particular question. It is also unfair and impossible to compare or rank
the varied experiences of the responses. This data, however, is truly qualitative in
that it cannot be viewed simply as hard data, but as the personal stories and
lived experiences of individual stay-at-home fathers. In the following section, I
hope to not only illuminate and bring together major themes and common
threads in their stories, but also to let their voices be heard and speak for
themselves.
Most conversations began with a discussion of how and why he became a
house husband. Most respondents described their journey to stay-athome
fatherhood as a narrative. They were careful to point out the ages of their
children, the year they started to stay at home, and any significant moves or
career changes that were part of this story.
The attention to detail and eagerness with which respondents recounted
their histories, almost sounded rehearsed or routine. It became clear that I was
not the first person to ask why he became a stay-at-home father. The detailed
narratives of their family history sounded like a prepared spiel that they have
given several times before. This prepared spiel suggests that these men have
had to explain their situation before. A full-time working father would most likely
not have to explain why he works, because it is just assumed that the father

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works. Stay-at-home fathers, however, are relatively new and unusual. It is

possible that these fathers have had to explain or justify their nonconformity in
the past.
It is also possible that the newness and strangeness of house husband situation
affected the responses they gave throughout our conversations. If these men
have had to justify or explain their experiences before, it is possible that they may
have tailored their responses based on these previous conversations. Rather
than thinking about and giving original responses, respondents could have given
me answers they have already used before. Based on the level of insight, depth,
and personal stories shared, however, I strongly believe that these men gave
original, honest responses. Some of their stories and thoughts were so raw and
honest that it seems highly unlikely they prepared such responses.
A typical day in life of an house husband
Beyond how these men told their stories, there were also similarities in what they
told. When asked if they can describe how they start a typical day for them. Their
reponses seems to somehow the same.
ah pag gising ko sa umaga syempre exercise muna no, nag jo-jogging ako, nag
wa-walking ako then pag pagdating ko sa ano mag pe-prepare ako ng breakfast
para sa family, ayan magpi-prito ka ng hotdog ganyan itlog tapos bili ka ng
pandesal para pagkain nila o kaya naman pag may nagrequest na magsasangag, minsan sila na gumagawa eh pagkatapos ko mag ano pag nagising na
si misis, sabay-sabay kami nag be-breakfast tapos pag naligo na si misis, lilinisin

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ko na yung kotse nya then pag naka alis na pupunta naman ako ng palengke
para sa tanghalian at saka hapunan. Pagbalik ko dito, sa laundry naman oh,
maglalaba ka. Pagdating ng tanghali wala, pahinga ka na nun, relax na. sa gabi
naman mostly ang niluluto sa tanghali ganun narin sa gabi eh wala na kase
nagluluto naman, pagdating ng gabi wala ganun, family ano na lang pag ka
dumating si misis kwentuhan manuod kayo ng TV tapos pahinga na, wala, wala
masyadong ginagawa. (Loreto Reyes 56, House Husband for 12 years)
sa umaga, magiisip ka ng almusal ninyong mag a-ama ah syempre magiisip ka
parin ng pagkain nyo sa tanghali para hanggang hapon na eh gigising ka talaga
ng maaga dahil lalo na estudyante, may estudyante ka so iisipan mo na. sa
tanghali pagkatapos kumain eh papatulugin mo syempre eh kailangan matulog
sila tapos iisip ka na naman ng meryenda nila (laugh) pag gising, oo ganun lang,
ganun lang araw-araw ganun lang ng ganun kaya yung pag ba-budget mo sa
pera mo eh ah kelangan nakatabi kasi kapag may hiningi at may
pangangailangan kailangan meron kang makukuha (Jolas 38, house husband
for 10 years)
syempre gigising ka ng maaga, may pasok yung anak mo eh aasikasuhin mo,
pagnakapasok na sila mamalengke tapos magluluto ng pagkain, ihahatid narin si
misis sa trabaho, pag tanghali na susunduin mo na yung anak mo tapos gawin
mo na yung mga gawaing bahay tapon sa hapon maghahanda ka ng meryenda
nila kung mahaba ang oras pwede ka ng tulog-tulog na lang. sa hapon
mamalengke sa gabi susunduin ko yung asawa ko. ganun lang paulit-ulit lang
(laugh) (Patrick 45, house husband for 15 years)

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According to the responses made by the participants, A typical day of a house

husbands starts at the early morning where their responsibilities as the care
taker of the family.The flexibility of their schedules allowed for greater availability
and tolerance of the many tasks and circumstances that are involved with
parenting. For these families it was most important to have someone there for the
children, regardless if that person was the mother or the father. All of the 3
participants in this research admits that they feel comfortable at doing this
household chores, if ask if they think its a mothers role theyre doing, most of
them answer that they are used in cleaning and doing household chores even
when they were a child, and if you have an luxurious of time to spend everyday,
those chores can actually take their boredom away. None of them mentioned any
reservations about taking on household and parental responsibilities. These
duties were something they dove into head first, and just hoped to figure out
along the way. Most respondents claimed they did pretty much anything and
everything related to childcare and housework. In addition to performing these
traditionally more feminine tasks, almost all respondents were also responsible
for more masculine tasks. Such tasks include fixing appliances in the house,
driving , fixing things, and helping children build projects.
Financial Reasons
1 out of the 3 respondents claimed that finances played a role in the
decision for him to stay at home. In many of the families, the mother had a fulltime job with a higher income and better benefits. A few of the fathers noted that
if they were to work full-time, they would only be making enough money to cover

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the cost of daycare; so instead of working to pay for daycare, it made more
sense, financially and emotionally, to stay at home with the children.
simple lang naman yun iniwan ko yun kase nga una may anak na ko tapos hindi
sapat yung kita ko noon sa pag di-drive para sa barangay eh yung si misis
naman magtatrabaho nun mas malaki laki kahit papano ang kikitain nya sa
factory gawa ng madali din naman syang magpa factory noon kase may
experience na (Patrick)
This decision was not about who made a more loving and caring parent; it was
about who makes enough money so that they could financially and emotionally
support their children.
Interests and personality
Several of the fathers also claimed that being a house husband was something
that they wanted or felt well suited to do. Many felt that they possess qualities
that are important in raising children, such as patience and an easygoing attitude.
bukal sa loob talaga kase may ibang paraan pa eh makakabalik pa ako sa
abroad eh kaya mas pinili ko yung pamilya, mas pinili kong maging house
husband sa madaling salita - Loreto
eh wala eh hindi na ko naghanap eh unang-una ang purpose ko kaya kaya
pinagpalit ko na yung trabaho kasi gusto ko makasama na ung mga anak ko eh
kasi kung babalik ako abroad talaga hindi dito sa pilipinas kasi baka sayang
yung pinaghihirapan ko konti lang ang ano kasi sanay na ko sa abroad eh kaya

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pinagpalit ko yung sa akin, mas priority ko yung mga, yung pamilya ko yung mga
anak ko - (Loreto, 56)
siguro yung pagiging ama, yung pagiging tatay, malaki malaking bagay yung
nakita ko sa tatay ko kahit na mahirap kami nakita ko na maayos naman sya
bilang isang ama dahil sya yung nagprovide ng pangangailangan namin
nagiging nakita ko kung gaano ka importante yungh pamilya nya at ah ayun
nakita ko rin kung gaano sya kasinop sa trabaho, gaano nya kamahal yung
pamilya nya so nakita ko yun sa mga magulang ko- (Jolas)
syempre yung pagpapahalaga sa anak atsaka yung pagkakaroon ng oras para
sa anak mo at para sa pamilya mo kase sinasabi nga ng karamihan eh higit na
mas mahalaga ang pamilya kesa sa pera pero kelangan natin yung pera (Patrick)
At the same time, one respondents stated that his wife was passionate about her
careers and had no desire to suddenly give that up.
mula noong maging magasawa kami ah dahil gusto nya talagang ano advocacy
nya yung pagtuturo ah nakatatak nasa sa isip ko na maiiwan at maiiwan ako eh
iniisip na lang namin na talagang ganun ang mangyayari wala tayong nga
magulang tayong dalawa lang ang magtutulungan kaya ako, nagparaya ako sa
misis ko sige ako na lang magaasikaso ng mga bata mahirap yung trabaho
ng isang guro kaya hindi ko na iniisip na bakit ako magaalaga ganun (Jolas)

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minsan pinipilit ko sya na tumigil pero ayaw nya kase regular na daw sya doon
mahirap na daw na umalis sya sayang daw yung mga benefits, minsan kase
parang gusto mo na magiging nanay ba sya sa anak mo (Patrick)
These responses demonstrate that there was a role reversal not only in the work
of these men and women, but also in their expectations and personalities. For
many of the fathers, staying at home fit with their interests and persona; whereas
if his wife were to stay at home it would have been out of her character..
Respondents believe that while their wives wanted to have children, they did not
desire to stay at home as women have traditionally done. Respondents claimed
their wives chose to pursue their own career aspirations and take on the role as
breadwinner. This suggests that socialization and personality, not biology, factor
into how we construct parenting roles.
Increased Communication and Emotional Relationship
Respondents who described this experiential, laidback approach also believe
that they have strong communication skills with their children. Most fathers claim
that their children feel comfortable relying on them and talking to them about
emotional issues. Many respondents also stated having a better sense of
understanding with their children because they were able to spend more time
with them. Most fathers said they were thrilled they had the opportunity to spend
such time and build such relationships with their children. Some fathers also
believed that they would not have been as close with their children had they been
working full time.

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naging magulang ka sa mga anak mo hindi kamuka noong nasa abroad kami
ang iniisip lang namin magpadala ng pera kung ano yung gusto ng mga bata,
papadala mo o humihiling ng toy ibibigay mo pero yung pera pala hindi pala yun
batayan ng pagpapalaki ng anak kasi akala ko pagdating ko dito ganun kaintimate yung mga bata, hindi eh malayo pa rin sayo kahit na alam na ikaw yung
nagpoprovide sa kanila ng mga gusto nila eh may mga ipabibili. Hindi ganun
(Loreto)
nageenjoy ako dahil minsan ko lang to, minsan ko lang magagawa to kase alam
mo babae sila pag lumaki ang mga to hindi mo na magagawa na paliguan sila,
halikan sila,yakap-yakapin sila kase eto hanggang mga bata pa sila parang ang
sarap sa feeling na makasama sila habang bata pa sila well, alam mo lalakit
lalaki yan hindi, hindi na ganun yung mangyayare (Jolas)
naipapaliwanag ko naman na ganun talaga si mama ang nagtatrabaho ako dito
sa bahay, medyo ms malapit sila sa akin kasi ako yung nakasama nila sa paglaki
eh, pareho pang lalaki yung bunso ko kaya mas malapit talaga sakin
(Partrick).
These responses suggest that increased communication and closeness
with children is a result of the amount time together. Because these stay-at-home
fathers were more physically available to their children, they also became more
emotionally available. Physical closeness breeds emotional closeness and
understanding. This is to say that men and women are both capable of building

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emotional relationships with their children. It is not a matter of gender, but a

matter of who is available to be there for the children.
Almost all fathers believe they are just as capable to be parents as their wives.
They were able to establish emotional relationships with their children, which
they may not have had they held a full-time job. This thought proposes the idea
that anyone can be a good parent, regardless of his or her gender, if one is
willing to put in the physical and emotional time and energy and at the same
time, several of these fathers clearly stated that they felt their wives had a special
bond with their children even though they spent less time with them. Whether or
not a biological, innate maternal instinct exists in women, we will probably never
know.
Frustrations and Challenges as a house husbands.
Over and over again fathers stressed that they would not trade their experience
as a husband for anything in the world. Respondents found the experience
rewarding for themselves, their children, and their spouse. Despite their rave
reviews, however, many fathers also discussed frustrations and challenges as a
house husband. These frustrations existed on both practical and emotional
levels. The most common annoyance was a feeling of running of out time, or
never having enough time. they also expressed a feeling of needing to catch up,
or being behind in their career. They also talked about the social loneliness that
comes with staying at home full-time with children. In the end, however, almost
all fathers said that despite any frustrations, you learn to work through the

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challenges and make things work; because at the end of the day, its not about
them, its about doing whats best for the kids.
magugulo sila parang lalaki eh yung malilikot sila, pag masakit ang ulo mo tapos
makakarinig ka nang ingay medyo pero piagaaralan ko yung tempered yung
sarili mo pagaralan mo papano mo mahahandle yung mga ganung sitwasyon
kase yang mga bata kapag lumalaki maraming tanong na yan eh magulo na yan
eh, magulo so yun inaano ko lang mina-managed ko lang siguro yung init ng ulo
ko, yung stress ko. Jolas
kapag, nung nagtatatrabaho ako wala akong, wala akong iniisip eh, trabaho
lang eh, trabaho lang, sarili ko lang eh gantong meron ka nang respopnsibilidad
naka pokus ka na sa mga anak mo na lang eh. Jolas
Minsan magaaply pa lang ako iniisip ko na kung paano kung yung magaalaga
eh hindi kaya nung magbabantay. Minsan naririnig mo silang umiiyak kahit wala
naman, kaya kahit gusto ko na noon pa magtrabaho eh yung asawa ko ayaw
naman magresign kaya wala parin talagang mangyayari. Dito lang talaga ako sa
bahay noon hanggang ngayon. Patrick
mahirap din sakin na ganito yung sitwasyon saka hindi naman ako kasing galing
ng nanay nila magalaga, minsan naiistress din ako lalo na pag pagod ka na
buong maghapon - Patrick
The frustrations these men expressed about the lack of time might also say
something about our larger culture. We are a society that believes in the plight of

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the individual. We value individual growth and success; and anything that may
inhibit that growth should be avoided. We have all been socialized to yearn for
personal space and time. These fathers are not selfish for wishing they had more
personal time; they simply express a desire we have all been taught. The idea of
giving up the path to individual success is uncommon in todays society,
especially for men. Despite their frustrations, however, these men demonstrate
that they did not give up or sacrifice anything. Rather, they chose a different path
to a different type of success.
Feeling Behind
Some fathers, however, did express feeling behind or out of the loop, after
choosing to stay at home over a more conventional career path.
wala na siguro at saka yung yung trabaho dito parang hindi, sa edad ko hindi na
ko pwedeng ano eh oo, hindi na ko makakapasok, mahihirapan na ko Loreto
una talagang maiisip mo na bakit magtatrabaho, bakit ako magaalaga eh
nagtatrabaho ako bakit hindi sya parang iniisip mo na parehas lang naman tayo
dapat sya magalaga pero kase maganda pag yung naguusap kayo eh kayong
magasawa yung pinaplano nyo ng araw araw yung mga gawain so maiintindihan
nyo siguro. Jolas
plano ko sana mag abroad kaya lang hindi na ko ganoon kalakas, at saka
sumasakit na yung likod ko pero yun talaga ang gusto kong gawin ngayon kasi
syempre titignan mo mas mabilis yun na paraan para kumita ka nang malaki

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atsaka gusto ko na rin sanang patigilin magtrabaho si misis kaya kung kakayanin
ko, kakayanin pa gusto ko sana mag abroad yun sana yung gusto kong gawin
para makatulong sa pamilya ko Patrick
kung maayos na na maayos yung lagay ng mga anak ko, may mag te-take over
sakin bilang ama kung may magaano sakin tawag dito? Magbabantay sa mga
anak ko yung hindi ako magkakaproblema siguro pepwede magtrabaho ulit. Jolas
The decision that these fathers make to stay at home is similar to that which
mothers have traditionally had to make: to pursue a career, or to stay at home to
raise a family. Their frustrations suggest that it is nearly impossible to have the
best of both worlds. Through their stories, however, these men show how they
work with their families to come to the best arrangement that benefits everyone.
Social Loneliness
A few fathers also described their experience as somewhat isolating and lonely.
Because men were home all day with their children, they did not have much
interaction with friends or other adults. This lack of interaction is compounded by
the fact that stayat-home fathers are relatively new phenomena, and there are
not many support networks that they can rely on.
makakahalubilo mo mga nanay na eh katulad ng paghahatid mo sa, sa school
mga nanay ang naandoon eh lalo na pag mag gi-gimick kayo ng mga anak mo

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nanay parin yung kasama at may kasamang nanay at tatay eh kami tatay-nanay
na halos sa bahay namin. So kami lang talagang tatlo, kami lang talaga. - Jolas

lumaki kasi akong marami akong nakakahalubilong tao kasi na involve ako sa
pulitika ah marami din akong kaibigan yun nga eh may bisyo rin ako nung time
na yun ahh.. talagang malaking-malaking pagbabago dahil masasabi ng mga
kaibigan mo na hindi na umiinom, hindi narin ako naninigarilyo, hindi na ko
sumasama sa gimikan so kase may mga kaibigan naman akong naiintindihan
naman kaso may mga kaibigan ka ding nagtatampo sayo dahil hindi na ganun
yung ginagawa mo dati, nagbago na Jolas
hindi mo maalis yung bilang ako lalaki makikita ka ng mga lalaki, makikita ka
nang mga kaibigan mo dati mga ka tropa na ikaw parang wala kang trabaho
ganyan hindi ikaw yung kumikita sa inyo, hindi ikaw yung nagpapakain sa
pamilya mo syempre and konsepto nung tatay ba. Yung iba hindi nagsasalita
pero para kang inaasar kase alam nila na ikaw yun taong bahay hindi ikaw yun
nagtatrabaho para sa pamilya mo Patrick
yung kaibigan ko supportive naman sila naiintindihan naman nila pero yung mga
katropa lang madalas nangaasar, mangiinis kase sasabihin nila na ako daw yung
lalaki ako yung nagtatrabaho, kumikita para sa pamilya - Patrick
the majority of the fathers said that regardless of the challenges that come with
being a parent, one must find a way to work through the issues for the sake of

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the children. These fathers demonstrated a willingness to do whatever it takes to

assure the well being of their children, even if it means losing their own personal
time and social life.
eh siguro ngayon hindi na ako provider kase wala na kong ipo-provide eh pero
noon naman hindi ang mas focus ko sa pam-family talaga kaya ako nag abroad
so ang masasabi ko lang eh wala na, ganun na lang kung parang parents sa
mga anak, parang ganun na lang Loreto.
dahil ako ay house husband edi yung binabantayn yung mga anak siguro pero
kung nagtatrabaho kaya din naman eh kaya nga lang ah ano hindi full ung
attention mo sa kanila pwedeng ibilin mo kung kani-kanino ganyan sa mga
kamag-anak ganon so akin hindi na eh ang lalaki na kasi ng mga anak ko eh.
Loreto.
masaya ako sa ginagawa ko and nakikita ko na masaya yung anak ko ayun nga
sinusubukan ko na maging maayos sila na magampanan ko yung dapat kong
gampanan ko sa kanila. hindi ko masasabi na maayos kase (laugh) mahirap
talaga na ikaw lang magisa no, may mga palpak, lalaki ako, babae yung mga
anak ko syempre ang laro ko basketball syempre laro nila barbie diba parang
hindi ako makapag basketball na kasama ko yung mga anak ko so inaano ko na
lang binabagay ko kung kailangan ko maglaro ng barbie, bakit hindi diba?
Jolas

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di ko masasabi ang o madescribe ang sarili ko ngayon. nakikita ko lang ngayon

masaya ako na kasama ko yung mga anak ko, nagka bonding kami, naging
malapit kami sa anak ko yun lang masasabi ko patrick

Conclusion.
Going into my research I hoped that the interviews would serve as an open forum
for respondents. I hoped that my study would give voice to a population of men
about which little is known. The interviews were successful in that they fostered
open, honest communication. Our interactions were more of a conversation or
discussion, rather than a formal interview. Not only were our conversations an
outlet for these stay-at-home fathers to express their own experiences and
stories, but also an eye-opening experience for me. This topic allowed me to
speak with a group of people who I would most likely not interact. My study on
house husbands has allowed me to gain some insights into a world unknown to
me: being a man and being a parent.
1.) what is the life of house husband?
it seems that at-home dads are very good parents. Not only did the fathers we
interviewed view themselves as good parents, but their spouses strongly
confirmed their assessments. This fathers are really well adapted to their status
as house husband and a full time parent in the family that even if their children
grow old and have kids they are still willing to do what they have been doing for

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years and that is to cook breakfast, do the laundry, fix things and being there for
their grown up children.
2.) What are the reasons why they make the descision of being a house
husband? Why they stay as house husband?
Many are forced to stay at home because of unemployment or other serious
financial circumstances. Some people might think that the role of being a house
husband were just foisted upon fathers, little is known that there are fathers who
doesnt really enjoy working but can find his passion in taking care of his children
and seeing them grow. Some house husband sacrificed their careers once they
felt that their wifes passion was not at home but by working. the existence of athome fathers greatly enables and facilitates the careers of their working wives or
partners. Throughout our study, the questions that received the most consistently
positive responses were when we asked the spouses of the at-home fathers,
Has your ability to take on specific work tasks changed as a result of your
spouse being at home? Has it had an impact on your career trajectory? If so,
how? The overwhelming response we received was that having an at-home
spouse enabled the wives to pursue their careers in a much fuller fashion,
without the limitations that virtually all other working mothers experience.
3.) What are the effects of being a house husband in the fathers sense of
self, self-worth and self-affectiveness?
like their female counterparts who become at-home parents, men who make this
decision face a number of obstacles and challenges, perhaps to an even more

95

pronounced extent than their female counterparts. Issues of social isolation, loss
of an adult network, uncertainty about future career plans, and concern about
how they will be perceived by future potential employers are of concern to most
at-home parents, but men often experience these feelings even more acutely.
Research suggests that feelings of social isolation and stigma regarding the role
of at-home parent are even greater for men than women.
Recommendation
I was able to pick up reoccurring themes, values, and behaviors from our
conversations, my sample is limited. While these themes and behaviors may hold
true to the group of men I spoke with, they cannot be applied to the larger
population of stay-at-home fathers. My sample was relatively small, consisting of
three men. I contacted respondents through convenience sampling. I started by
asking friends and family if they knew any stay-at-home fathers, and once I
spoke with a few, they put me in touch with other stay-at-home dads. Because of
convenience sampling, I was unable to control for several factors, namely race
and socioeconomic class. For the future researcher, This study should be
conducted in a large group of house husband, it is recommended too that this
study should be conducted in more than one session.

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Transcript ( Participant no.1)

Introduction (Part 1)
Researcher: Ano po ang gusto nyong pangalan na gamitin?
Participant:

oh edi yung actual na pangalan ko na lang kase hindi ako nahihiya

bilang house husband eh .. ah Loreto Reyes.

Researcher: Ano pong address nyo po?

Participant: 1017 Bambang Pasig Metro, Manila
Researcher: anong edad po?
Participant: ah 56
Researcher: Ilan po ang anak nyo po?
Participant: five(5)
Researcher: ano pong mga edad nila?
Participant:

ah yung panganay ay nasa sydney na sya, 33 tapos ung

sumusunod..

Researcher: babae po o lalaki ?

Participant:

lalaki tapos yung susunod is 30 lalaki din tapos yung kasunod

ah lalaki nurse naman sya sa serendra tapos yung pang-

apat ko

naman babae, may asawa na nasa dubai naman sila

97

ng asawa nya

tapos may isa akong apo. Tapos yung bunso naman,

babae nasa

Qatar may trabaho din.

Researcher: gaano katagal na po kayo naging house husband?

Participant: ah almost 12 years na.
Researcher: bat po ganun katagal ?
Participant:

dahil dumating ako ng pilipinas uhmm 2004 .. 2004 pagdating ko

ng pilipinas marami na kong petisyon sa trabaho eh mas

pinipili
ko nagtrabaho

siguro yung mas bata kesa sa matanda. So hindi na

at saka isa pa marami naman akong naipon

Researcher: nagtatagtrabaho po ba ang iyong asawa?

Participant: ah oo, nagtatatrabaho po sya
Researcher: ano pong trabaho nya po?
Participant: ah manager sya ng isang bangko , expressbank
Researcher: matagal na po ba sya sa trabaho nya po?
Participant: matagal na since magasawa kami nasa trabaho na nya sa bangko
upto present.
Researcher: ano pong background nya po sa pagaaral , saan po sya
nagtapos?

98

Participant:

ah dun sya nagtapos.. ano ba yung PUP? Polytechnic university of

the Philippines at ako naman graduate din naman ako ng UE
bachelor in science and bussiness administration major in
accounting. Sya rin major in accounting si misis

Researcher: maari mo bang mailarawan ang iyong sarililing background ng

kaunti, gusto ko sana sa pagkakasunod sunod ng iyong
buhay
Participant:

kung san ka po ipinanganak.

ah pinanganak ako dito sa bambang pasig , oo dito na ko sa
bambang tapos I got married siguro hinde nagaral ahh ng
elementary dito sa bamabang dr. Sixto antonio elementary

school

tapos nag highschool naman po ako sa pasig Catholic

college and

then nagcollege ako sa University of the East

graduate ako ng

accounting

Researcher: kailan po kayo nakapag asawa?

Participant: ah.. nagasawa ako 1982
Researcher: mga ilang years na po kayong kasal ?
Participant: 33 years na
Researcher:kailan po kayo nagkaroon ng anak?
Participant:

ah nagka anak ako after 1 year ng marriage namin siguro 1983

less no tama nga mga 83

99

Researcher: pwede nyo po bang sabihin sakin ang ilang impormasyon

tungkol po sa inyong
pagaasawa,

magulang po, ang kanilang

mga naging papel nila sa pamilya ?

Participant: ah
Researcher: ano pong trabaho ng magulang nyo po?
Participant:

ang parents ko, ang mother ko housewife ang Father ko ano sya
ah bussinessman, ang bussiness namin ee ano meron

kaming mga

lancha sa malabon, may mga fishing boat kami doon kaya

ayun

ang naging ah ano source of income ng mga parents ko

Researcher: isinasagawa o sinusunod parin ba ng iyong mga magulang

ang tradisyunal na pang lalaki o pang babaeng
tungkulin ?

for exmaple po,

babae ikaw lalaki

Participant:

ang

paghuhugas

ng

plato

ka dito ka lang wala kang gagawin.

hinde pareho naman sila nagtutulungan, wala nung ah ano walang

wala akong nakitang ano kung kaya ng lalaki maghugas,
maghuhugas sya kung kaya mamalengke, namamalengke o

kung
walang

misan sya nagluluto samin minsan naman mother ko kaya

ano walang division of labor kung tawagin.

Researcher: Sa partikular, maaari ka bang pumunta sa ilang mga detalye

tungkol sa iyong ama? Ano ang kanyang pangunahing
pokus

o ginagawa sa buhay?

100

Participant:

eh ang father ko nung binata alam ko ano sya eh sa barko then

nakapag nung nakapag asawa nakapag establish ng

bussiness,

ngayon ung bussiness nya ah yun nga fishing boat

most of the time

ng sya walang problema tapos pagdating ng

dumarating yung

ano.. siguro mga half day nasa labas. Nasa

ano nasa bussiness

location kunyare

Researcher: Paano niya nahati ang kanyang oras sa pagitan ng trabaho,

pagaalaaga, at libangan?
Participant: ng tatay ko? kasi ang bussiness namin most of the time na 3 days
nasa laot yung mga lancha, mga bangka and then yung time
na

yun naiibigay nya sa amin kung walan mga problema, pero

pag

may mga problema naman ah hindi sya ma i-stay in dun

umuuwi

din sya ng gabi ganun. So nakakasama naman namin

Researcher: Anong mga uri ng mga tungkulin at domestic mga gawain ang
ginawa nya sa loob ng bahay?
Participant: naglilinis ng bahay, pinagda-drive kami, ung mga apo ah nagluluto,
marunong magluto ano pa ba? Basta lahat ng gawain siguro ng
bahay alam nya, oo jack of all trades yun eh.
Researcher: Gaano kahalaga ang buhay pamilya sa kanya kumpara sa
karera o trabaho?

101

Participant: ah priority nya yung pamilya nya uhmm kaya kami sama-sama
dito dahil priority nya yung pamilya eh, binenta nya ung
malaking

bahay nya, binigyan nya kami ng kanya-kanyang unit

parang

apartment at ito pinagawa nya tong bahay nya para

tabi-tabi kami
Researcher: Ano ang mga aspeto ng iyong kasaysayan (pamilya buhay,
relihiyon, karanasan sa trabaho, mga kaibigan, iba pang
mga

magulang) Sa inyong palagay ang may impluwensya sa

iyong

mga tanawin ng pagiging-ama?

Participant: yung iba siguro pero sa modern society iba na eh, iba na nang
pagpapalaki ngayon ng bata eh, hindi kamukha nung time
namin

na talagang sobrang disiplina yan. Oo pagdating ng

6:00 nasa

bahay na kami nun at saka kakain kayo ng sabay-

sabay eh ngayon

hindi eh kase hati na oras ng mga bata ngayon eh,

may mga

nagaaral aabot ng gabi so hindi na kayo sabay

kumain ganon so

iba ang ways na lang ang tinuturo namin sa

kanila.ganon na lang
Researcher: Maari nyo po bang I kwento sa akin ang tungkol sa iba't-ibang
mga trabaho na napasukan nyo po o napag trabahuan,
ano po

ang pagkakasunod-sunod nila hanggang sa iyong

pinakabagong

trabaho?

pinakahuling

pinasukang

102

Participant: o sige, umpisahan natin, pumasok ako sa pilipnas sa MET assistant

auditor tapos hind ko na alam kung kelan 2years or 3 years
nag
nag try

resign na ko kase lumalaki yung pamilya parang kulang at

naman ako sa abroad nag kuwait ako for 2 years

contract so after

that nagkaroon ako ng negosyo nagkaroon din

ako ng bangka kaya

lang medyo hindi ako naging succesful dun sa

negosyo so siguro

sabi ko magabroad nag try ako sa japan, kaya

nakarating ako sa

japan for 14 years nagtrabaho dun TNT walang

uwian, oo so
nakasama yung

namiss ko yung mga anak ko for 14 years hindi

mga anak ko

Researcher: Bakit mo iniwan ang iyong pinakahuling trabaho o yung

trabaho nyo noon?
Participant: hindi talaga kase ano eh magnenegosyo na nga ako eh,pinauwi na
ko ng parents ko para mag negosyo oh ayaw nya na kong
humiwalay kase ganon nga kami eh family talagang
gusto ng tatay
mga anak nya so no

ko, ng mga parents ko nakikita nya lahat yung

choice, binigyan ako ng negosyo ganon

ang nangyari
Researcher: gaano po kayo kakuntento o nasisiyahan sa inyong trabaho
noon bago kayo maging house husband?
Participant: ang trabaho, talagang kuntento dahil ang laki ng kinikita ko di basta
kikitain yun dito kung baga may sumo sweldo ako 10,000 a

103

day sa

japan, oo kaya lang syempre halos magkasunod

namatay yung

mga parents ko hindi ko na kayang tiisin pa,

umuwi na ko rito, oo

kaya natiis ko yung 14 years kase yun

nga malaki yung sweldo

tapos isa pa maganda ang ano sa

japan, maganda ang mahirap

na lang magsalita, mahal natin

ang pilipinas kung ikukumpara natin

ang

japan

ibang

iba

eh,

disiplinando yung mga tao, malinis,walang

pollution ganon, so

kung kaya ko lang dalhin yuung pamilya ko run,

why

not

diba

pwedeng pwede.
Researcher: Ano ang inyong hangarin para sa inyong sarili ngayon?
Participant: wala, simpleng buhay na lang. ah ang iniisip na lang namin yung
mga bata, oo kase yun naman talaga ang pakay ng mga
magulang

yung mga bata kung paano nila papalakihin at saka

paano nila

yung mga apo, ganoon din pero normally pansarili?

Wala na, wala

ka nang hinahangad nga eh, para sa amin

pero mostly sa mga ano

lang kaya simpleng buhay lang kami

ganun.
Researcher: Saan at paano mo nakikita ang iyong sarili sa hinaharap?
Participant: ah siguro ganto lang kung anong meron kami ngayon ganon na rin
pero hindi na siguro sosobra pa dahil hindi na kami
naghahangad
problema.

ng sobra , oo mas marami daw, mas maraming

104

Researcher: May gusto ka bang gampanan na papel o may plano ka ba

para
magtrabaho ulit

sa

iyong

sarili?

Kung

may

planong

kang

paano mo ito sisimulan?

Participant: at present sa edad ko? siguro wala na kong planong magtrabaho pa.
unang una, syempre hindi na ganon kalakas ang katawan ko,
pangalawa halos siguro ilang percent na lang ang natitira
dun sa

pinagaralan ko, limot ko na yun. Hindi ko na ano,

hindi ko na

masyado sigurong gampanan ung trabaho dito dahil

marami ring

competition mas pinipili yung mas bata, hindi na

siguro
Researcher: sa 12 years na naging house husband po kayo, hindi po talaga
kayo ng try na maghanap ng trabaho?
Participant: hindi na eh, eh kase ganon, ang plano ko noon mag nenegosyo kaya
lang nung dumating ako dito wala akong alam tungkol sa pilipinas
kase for 14 years kaming nasa japan wala, wala akong alam
so

nag ta try kami so yung perang naipon ko ginamit ko na lang

sa

pagaaral ng mga anak ko. anyway nagtatrabaho naman si

misis

ganun na, ganun na naging arrangements. Ako sa bahay,

ako

bahala sa mga bata, sya ang magtatrabaho bukod dun sa

mga

perang naipon ko.sya narin ang magmamanage, so tinurn

over ko
nagluho(hihihi)

lahat sa kanya, yun ganun lang, oo hindi naman ako

105

Researcher: wala po yung araw na naisip nyo po na parang gusto ko nang

magtrabaho, na naboboring na ko sa bahay? Wala
naman po?
Participant: hindi eh, kase yung trabaho sa bahay di ka maboboring dahil
naapreciate naman nung mga anak mo eh yung ginagawa
mo at

saka may mga compliment ka naman na natatanggap

anyway,

ganon nalalaman mo naman yun.

Researcher: Sa unang pagkakataon na kayo ay naging isang ama at naging

isang asawa, inasahan mo ba ang pagiging isang house
husband ay makakaepekto sa iyong karera/trabaho? Sa
anong

paraan?

Participant: hindi eh, hindi pero hindi ko inaasahang magiging house husband
ako kase unang una nung bagong magasawa kami hindi ako
makakapunta ng abroad kung hindi ang pokus ko ay
trabaho, oo

kaya ang masasabi ko lang eh eto siguro kapalaran

ko ang maging

house husband pero yun na rin ang pinaka

maganda dahil unang

una mas lumapit yiung mga bata sa akin

kase 14 years kong di

nakasama kaya mas pinili kong maging

house husband.
Researcher: Muli, kung babalikan natin ung mga oras na ikaw ay
nagtatrabaho pa sa iyong huling trabaho, ilang oras ka
nagtatrabaho, at papaano mo napagbabalanse

106

ang iyong

trabaho at responsibilidad mo sa tahanan (bilang

ama?
Participant: malayo eh, malayo pero anyway sasagutin ko rin yan, ah yung
trabaho ko doon wala namang oras actually minsan 2 hours
ang

trabaho ah fully paid ka kunyare 10,000 yung bayad mo sa

japan

20,000 yen a day ako, oo kaya pagka ganon kase

kontraktwal ung

basta may binibigay yung ano job order pag

natapos mo din

kunyare 2-3 hours ayun bayad na yun tapos

naman yung time ko

sa pamilya every weekend na lang

tumatawag ka ganon para kase

wala pang mga internet-internet

nung araw eh ang pwede puro

telepono kaya ganon lang ang

ginagawa namin pero okay naman

kapag

nakakapagpadala

ka mas naliligayahan ka syempre , mas

kailangan nila eh kahit

sabihin mong may tarabaho ang asawa mo

dito ah lima anak ko

hindi kaya sustentuhan kahit sabihin mong

manager ka.

Researcher: noong kayo po ay may trabaho pa,paano nyo pinagusapan o

pinaghatian ng asawa mo ang responsibilidad ng
pagaalaga sa

mga anak nyo?

Participant: ah.. noong maliit pa sila noong unang una ah, syempre kunyare may
baby kayo, una sya hati kayo syempre kailangan matutulog
din sya
minsan ako yung

oh, kunyare ako 12:00 tapos sya 12 to ano, pero

12 hanggang umaga eh sa bata ganon tapos

107

yung nung malalaki

na mostly si misis na nagalaga eh, oo kasi 14

years akong nawala

Researcher: Sa

dito eh

tingin mo? gaano mo katagal isinasaalang-alang ang

posibilidad ng pagiging isang house husband?

Participant: paano? Paano isinalang?

Researcher: yung pagiging isang house husband po?
Participant: ay siguro hanggang pangmatagalan nato dahil malapit narin mag
retired si misis eh siguro na nga lang saka isa pa yung mga anak ko naman eh
may kanya-kanya na may mga trabaho so ang iniintindi na lang namin ay yung
sa amin tapos minsan naman pag may ano, nagpapadala din yung mga bata
kahit di mo naman hinihingan, pinipilit sayo kung anong meron sila sine-share
din, oo ganun lang
Researcher: Ano-ano po ang mga pagsubok o mga pagkakataon ang
nagtulak sayo upang gampanan ang pagiging house husband?
Participant:

wala. Unang-una mga bata, galing ako ng abroad medyo malalayo

sakin hindi sila gaano ka-intimate sa tatay dahil syempre

para kang

stranger nung dumating dito eh, oo alam nila ako tatay nila

pero

pero yung intimate relation namin hindi ganun eh, yung iba
nararamdaman ko eh. So, nasasabi ko mas maganda

siiguro kung

dito ako sa bahay, oo para makita nila ako ganyan,

makasama

pero pag nagtranaho pa ko eh di ganon kaya may

108

chance pa nga

kong bumalik ng abroad pero mas pinili ko na

yung pamilya ko eh.

Researcher: maliban po duon, may iba pa po bang rason?
Participant: ibang ano, wala na siguro at saka yung yung trabaho dito parang
hindi, sa edad ko hindi na ko pwedeng ano eh oo, hindi na
ko

makakapasok, mahihirapan na ko

Researcher: ilang taon po kayo nung bumalik po kayo ng pilipinas?

Participant: ah bale mga 40, 42 mga ganun.
Researcher: Minsan ba dumadating ka sa mga pagkakataon na naiisip mo
na ang desisyon nang pagiging house husband ay bukal sa loob mong
gawin o napilitan ka lang dahil wala nang ibang paraan?
Participant: hindi bukal sa loob talaga kase may ibang paraan pa eh makakabalik
pa ako sa abroad eh kaya mas pinili ko yung pamilya, mas pinili
kong maging house husband sa madaling salita
Researcher: Kung dati ay nagtatatrabaho kayo Maari mo bang ma-idescribe
ang transition o pagbabago na iyong naranasan nung kayo po ay naging
house husband na? anong pakiramdam?
Participant: kase wala, parang halos ganun din eh kase nung nagtatatrabaho ako
sa ibang bansa wala namang mga katulong eh, ikaw lang din ang
gagawa eh, laundry o maglilinis ng bahay ganun din kaya

109

pagdating ko rito parang normal sakin eh. Ikaw din

ang lahat basta

lahat ng gagawin mo ay ikaw.

Researcher: Ngayon na ikaw ay isa ng full time house husband, maaari

mong ilarawan kung paano mo at ng iyong asawa hinati o pinagusapan ang
pagaalga at gawaing bahay?
Participant: wala na eh, hindi na pinaguusapan kase pagka may time din si misis
gumagawa din sya eh oo, nakikita din naman nya yung ano,
halos

parehas lang wala, walang pinagkaiba pero pag wala pa sila,

ikaw

ang gagawa.

Researcher: Anu-ano po ba ang mga naging responsibilidad nyo sa bahay?

Participant: oh edi naglilinis kaya lang nagluluto, may nagluluto samin ngayon. ah
wala naman kaming kasambahay ah syempre lahat kung ano
yung ginagawa ng nasa bahay naglala- laundry, naglalaba oh ano
pa ba?

Basta yung normal na ginagawa ng house husband.

Researcher: sa inyo pong asawa, ano pong responsibilidad nyo po?

Participant: ah sa asawa, siguro ano wala eh pinaglalaba mo rin eh ganun
tapos pinaglilinis mo ng sasakyan nya, oo kung may tig-isa
kaming
nya dahil yun

sasakyan mas araw-araw nililinis ko ung sasakyan

ang gamit nya.

Researcher: sa inyong anak po?

110

Participant: sa anak naman, wala ganun din yung dalawa andito pa sa amin, dito
pa nakatigil edi kung ano yung ano pinaglalaba mo din
ganun ah

kung ano yung ginawa nung nanay ganun din

ginagawa nang tatay.

Mahirap I-detalye eh diba ? yun nga lang di mo

na bibigyan ng pera

malalaki na eh.

Researcher: Maari nyo po bang mailarawan o maikwento ang isang tipikal

na araw para sa iyo? Simulan po natin sa umaga
Participant: ah pag gising ko sa umaga syempre exercise muna no, nag jojogging ako, nag wa-walking ako then pag pagdating ko sa
ano

mag pe-prepare ako ng breakfast para sa family, ayan

magpi-prito

ka ng hotdog ganyan itlog tapos bili ka ng pandesal

para pagkain

nila o kaya naman pag may nagrequest na

magsa-sangag, minsan

sila na gumagawa eh pagkatapos ko

mag ano pag nagising na si

misis, sabay-sabay kami nag be-

breakfast tapos pag naligo na si

misis, lilinisin ko na yung kotse

nya then pag naka alis na pupunta

naman ako ng palengke

para sa tanghalian at saka hapunan.

Pagbalik

laundry naman oh, maglalaba ka. Pagdating ng

ko

dito,

tanghali

sa
wala

pahinga ka na nun, relax na. sa gabi naman mostly

ang

sa tanghali ganun narin sa gabi eh wala na kase

nagluluto

naman, pagdating ng gabi wala ganun, family ano na lang

pag

dumating si misis kwentuhan manuod kayo ng TV

pahinga na, wala, wala masyadong ginagawa.

niluluto

ka
tapos

111

Researcher: Okay lang po ba sa inyo na wala kayong ginagawa?

Participant: eh okay lang din dahil pagod ka na sa maghapon eh, nagexercise ka
pa, naglakad ka for 1 and a half hours ganun.
Researcher: Maari po ba nating pagusapan kung kamusta po ang
pakikihalubilo nyo sa ibang tao? Naapektuhan po ba ng pagiging isang
house husband ang pakikitungo nyo sa ibang tao?
Participant: ah hindi eh, okay lang wala namang problema basta ang priority
namin eh maayos yung pamilya saka present hindi na ano yun, hindi na
tinitignan ngayon yun eh lalo nasa couples balewala eh, hindi, hindi
walang problema kase ang laki na ng naishare mo sa pamilya eh siguro
its about time to rest.
Researcher: yung pakikitungo po ng ibang tao sa inyo, feeling nyo po ba
minsan
Participant: hindi ganun parin, hindi syempre submissive parin yung mga wife
namin sa amin kahit kami yung house husband, sumusunod parin sila
hindi sila ano bang tawag doon ah hindi sila nagaano hanggat hindi
kami kinokonsulta kunyare yung sa magasawa saka kami magdedecide,
descision making kelangan sa magasawa o kaya minsan kung ikaw kaya
mo nang desisyunan , dedesisyunan mo na kase ikaw parin ang head of
the family eh.

112

Researcher: Naapektuhan ba nito ang pananaw mo sa pagiging house

husband?
Participant: hindi, wala walang epekto.
Researcher: Kung maiilarawan nyo po o madedescribe nyo po ang iyong
sarili nyo ngayon, ano po ang masasabi mo?
Participant: ah successful lahat ng pinalano ko since magasawa parang
successful na wala na kong hinahangad basta ang gusto ko maayos yung
mga anak ko.
Researcher: Kumportable po ba kayo sa papel na inyong ginagampanan
bilang isang house husband?
Participant: ah very comfortable wala,wala no regrets.
Researcher: Ano po ang mga reaksyon ng mga taong malapit po sa inyo
(tulad ng pamilya, mga kaibigan) sa inyo papel na ginagampanan bilang
isang house husband?
Participant: wala naman, normal naman,oh sa pamilya ni misis ganun din, sa
pamilya ko wala,walang problema.
Researcher: minsan po ba naramdaman nyo na iba ang tingin sa inyo nung
ibang tao dahil house husband po kayo ?
Participant: ay hindi wala, kase alam nilang ang laki ng tiniis ko sa abroad noon
eh hindi naman ako nagpabaya

113

Researcher: Nakikita nyo po ba ang sarili nyo bilang isang tatay na

naghahanap buhay o may career o isang tatay na pansamantala lang na
tumigil sa pagtatatrabaho o isang full time parent(tatay) o magulang sa
mga anak?
Participant: eh sa akin hindi na uso yung carreer tapos na siguro, siguro ang
masasabi ko na lang magulang na lang sa anak kase wala na, wala na
akong hinahangad pa meron naman kahit papano hindi naman
nawawalan, tama lang oh eh wala na, wala kase meron din akong
sasakyan, may sasakyan din si misis, may kita naman sya oh eh wala
namang problema may kinakain 3 time a day ganun may bahay, may
sariling bahay wala na basta ganun na kung magreretired man si misis,
ganun na kami as in wala na hindi na kami naghahangad ng sobra-sobra
tama lang
Researcher: Nag plano po ba kayo noon o sinubukan nyo po bang ulit na
maghanap ng trabaho?
Participant: hindi na eh, hindi na, hindi na,
wala na. (shaking his head)
Researcher: Paano po nakaapekto ang pagiging house husband nyo po ng
matagal ng panahon sa paghahanap nyo ng trabaho?
Participant: eh wala eh hindi na ko naghanap eh unang-una ang purpose ko kaya
kaya pinagpalit ko na yung trabaho kasi gusto ko makasama na ung mga

114

anak ko eh kasi kung babalikn ako abroad talaga hindi dito sa pilipinas
kasi baka sayang yung pinaghihirapan ko konti lang ang ano kasi sanay
na ko sa abroad eh kaya pinagpalit ko yung sa akin, mas priority ko yung
mga, yung pamilya ko yung mga anak ko
Researcher: Kung sakali pong makabalik o makahanap na po kayo ng
trabaho, sa tingin nyo po ba ay kaya nyo pa pong mabalanse ang oras
ninyo sa paghahanap buhay at pagiging isang ama o asawa? Sa paanong
paraan po?
Participant: eh kung hahanap ako ng trabaho at sakaling magtatatrabaho ako
ngayon pero siguro mababalanse parin kase yung mga anak ko yung tatlo
nasa abroad na lahat oh dalawa na lang yung nandito may mga trabaho
so sarili ko na lang ano, kung may chance pa pero sa edad kong ito
ngayon im 56 sino pa kukuha sayo baka magwawalis na lang ako ng
kalsada (laugh)
Researcher: Sa inyong opinyon po, Ano po kaya ang batayan ng isang
mabuting ama ngayon yung naghahanap buhay po ba o yung inaalagaan at
binabantayan ang mga anak?
Participant: sa akin pareho eh, kung isa lang eh sa akin siguro dahil ako ay
house husband edi yung binabantayn yung mga anak siguro pero kung
nagtatrabaho kaya din naman eh kaya nga lang ah ano hindi full ung
attention mo sa kanila pwedeng ibilin mo kung kani-kanino ganyan sa mga

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kamag-anak ganon so akin hindi na eh ang lalaki na kasi ng mga anak ko

eh.
Researcher: sa tingin nyo po ba anong klaseng ama kayo sa inyong
pamilya?
Participant: eh siguro ngayon hindi na ako provider kase wala na kong ipoprovide eh pero noon naman hindi ang mas focus ko sa pam-family talaga
kaya ako nag abroad so ang masasabi ko lang eh wala na, ganun na lang
kung parang parents sa mga anak, parang ganun na lang.
researcher: Ang pagiging house husband po ba o full time tatay po sa
inyong pamilya ay nakaimpluwensya sa inyo pananaw ukol sa kung ano po
ba ang tunay na ibig sabihin ng isang mabuting magulang, kung oo, sa
mga anong paraan po?
Participant: Oo, unang una nakakasama mo sila, na i-iguide mo yung mga bata
kung may mga problema yung mga bata, nasasabi naman sayo bago pa
lumala kase dapat bilang magulang hindi lang ikaw yung mataas eh para
lang kayong magbabarkada lalo na nung inabot ko na yung mga anak ko
medyo malalaki na may mga isip na, na mold na sila nung ganun kase
yung mga kunyare mag bo-boyfriend yung iba hindi masabi sa mga ano
eh yung anak ko nung highschool pa lang kahit hindi verbally suumusulat
yan tapos iniiwan ganun sila o saka na lang namin I di-discuss pero hindi
naman kami magulang na sobrang strict, hindi.

Ako hindi lang sakin

116

manligaw ano wla basta masaya sila sige okay lang

kaya lang

may

limitations.
Researcher: Ano po ba yung pinaka gusto nyong aspeto o advantage ng
pagiging isang full time house househusband ?
Participant:advantage? Wala naman sigurong advantage ang pagiging house
husband, oo wala, wala (shake his head)
Researcher: ano naman po yung pinaka ayaw nyo o hindi nyo
nagugustuhang aspeto sa pagiging isang house husband?
Participant: wala naman, wala okay lang. hindi naman ako nabobored pagka
ganun eh kasi marami kaming extra curricular lalo na sa YFC mas marami
eh, mas marami nga kong mga anak kaya lang ngayon meron akong apo
kaya most of the time andun ako sa apo.
Researcher: Sa tingin nyo po ba ano-ano po ang mga pagbabago sa inyong
sarili na sa tingin nyo ay resulta ng pagiging isang househusband?
Participant: wala, natuto kang mag ano, naging magulang ka sa mga anak mo
hindi kamuka noong nasa abroad kami ang iniisip lang namin magpadala
ng pera kung ano yung gusto ng mga bata, papadala mo o humihiling ng
toy ibibigay mo pero yung pera pala hindi pala yun batayan ng
pagpapalaki ng anak kasi akala ko pagdating ko dito ganun ka-intimate
yung mga bata, hindi eh malayo pa rin sayo kahit na alam na ikaw yung

117

nagpoprovide sa kanila ng mga gusto nila eh

may mga ipabibili. Hindi

ganun.
Researcher: Ano pong reaksyon ng inyong asawa sa inyong pagiging isang
full-time house houseband?
Participant: wala naman, hindi naman namin napaguusapan actually alam
naman nya. Minsan thankful pa nga sya eh pagka mga ano eh kase may
gumagawa hindi kamuka nung magisa sya rito, sya lahat ang gumagawa,
sya ang mag peprepare ng mga baon ng mga anak nya eh during that
time maliliit pa yung mga bata eh ngayon malalaki na yung mga anak ko
hindi na na ano sya naman inaalagaan ko,yung wife ko syempre.
Researcher: ? May nagbago ba sa inyong relasyon o pagsasama, kung
meron, ano-ano po iyon?
Participant: wala, walang pagbabago. Ganun parin nagmamahalan parin kaya
may forever nga eh.
Researcher: Sa palagay nyo po ang trabaho po ng inyong asawa ay isa sa
mga dahilan kung bakit po kayo naging isang house husband?
Participant: siguro nga, dahil may trabaho na rin sya. Hindi na namin masyadong
kelangan ng ano sobra, kailangan naman ngayon dito sa bahay
yungyung para dun sa mga bata kase noong umuwi ako highschool ,
may highschool, puro highschool yung mga anak ko tapos isang tapos na,

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kaya siguro ang ano ko hindi na ko magtatatrabaho talaga titignan ko na

lang yung mga bata
Researcher: Ano- anong bagay po ba and naapektuhan ng inyo pong
pagiging isang house husabnd? Nakaapaekto po ba ang sitwasyon nyo
magasawa sa mga anak nyo? Kung oo, Paano nyo po masasabi
naapektuhan sila?
Participant: wala akong maisip na epekto ang pagiging house husband, yung
mga anak ko edi wala, wala namang problema alam nila daddy nila hindi
na kukuha ng trabaho, ayaw na rin pagtrabaahuhin ng mga bata, mas
gusto nila andito na lang yung daddy nila lalo na may mga trabaho narin
naman sila kase pag nagtrabaho pa ko eh iba mapapabayaan na yung
kunyare may mga maliliit ka pa na ano mga apo, hindi na siguro, wala
na.
Researcher: may mga gusto pa po ba kayong idagdag o mga gusto pa
pong pagusapan?
Participant: sa pagiging house husband?
Researcher: yung dun po sa government kase parang ano diba kapag
housewife madami pong tumutulong, parang may mga organization po sa
house husband po kase wala, okay lang po sa inyo yun na wala kayong
parang organization ng mga house husband?

119

Participant: wala na, siguro yung iba nahihiya na house husband sila eh, mga
walang trabaho eh, oo siguro since ano kase ang nangyari
naman

sakin hindi ganon talagang may chance pa ko

makabalik sa abroad

talagang pinili ko lang talaga yung pamilya ko anyway

nakita ko naman si misis kaya na nya eh at saka may mga naipon na kaya nang
pagtapusin

yung mga bata kaya ganun siguro mas pinili ko na yung kase yun

yung tumatak sa isip ko noon babalik ako o hindi na ang hirap don kase ang laki
nung ang laki kasi nung pera kase pag pera ang pinairal mo eh iba eh,
mahirap pagtalunan yung pera ayun yung babalikan ko roon eh tapos
pag atsaka ang pamilya talaga yung pinili ko kaya ako ganto na. kaya
no regret ako kase ang tagal kong iniisip na yung pupunta ako ng japan
ulet kase naka ready na lahat yung papeles ko eh ah siguro
nagbakasyon lang ako ng 2 months dito kase nga namatay yung mga
parents ko sabay halos magkasunod pero hindi binasura ko na yung ano
eh mga papeles ko mas pinili ko yung pamilya ko.
Researcher: okay lang po sa inyo na dalhin nyo po ung pangalang house
husband kahit saan kayo magpunta ?
Participant:

Oo, okay lang. bakit? Wala naman masama doon dahil unang-una
talagang totoo naman eh diba at saka no regrets naman ako

sa

pagiging house husband.

Researcher: ano pong gusto nyo pong ipayo sa mga iba pong house
husband ?

120

Participant: eh basta gawin lang nila yung mga ginagawa nila sa bahay (Laugh)
huwag ng humanap ng federasyon ng mga house husband
hindi

kase kung ako, kung tutuusin mahirap din ang trabaho ng

house

husband, hindi naman ganun kadali iyon dahil lalo na

yung may

mga maliliit na mga bata dyan, pagaalaga eh ngayon

apo

inaalagaan ko. napakahirap siguro pero kase sanay

ako sa abroad

eh hindi na kasi ganun din eeh alagaan mo din

sarili mo din eh

lahat din ng gagawin mo ikaw rin magisa ka

ganun, magtatrabaho

ka pa, mas mahirap yon ang wala lang,

mga bata, sarili mo lang

yung aalagaan mo atsaka yun nga lang

hindi ako nagluluto kaya

hindi ako sanay magluto eh, mga

convenience store lang para kase

ano isa ka na lang lulutuin mo?

Mga ganun lang

Researcher: minsan po ba pag naglalaba kayo o gumagawa ng mga
gawaing bahay, naiisip nyo na teka gawaing pangbabae to ah?
Participant:

hindi eh, kasi nakita ko na sa magulang ko yun eh oo, tulong sila eh

ang parents ko naman, tatay ko di ko naman nakita nagopisina
puro negosyo yun eh atsaka sinanay kamin ng parents ko

ng

negosyo nung araw so sanay na kami doon, hindi na kami

yung

tipong,

sanay din

sa

barkada-barkada

dyan

walang

problema hindi

kami parang matataas na tao basta tama lang

kaya hindi ako

nahihiya maging house husband.

121

Researcher: thank you po

Transcript no.2
Participant (2)
Introduction:
Researcher: ano pong gusto nyong gamitin na pangalan?
Participant: Jolas na lang
Researcher:san po kayo nakatira?
Participant:ah kapitolyo pasig ah.. GK arkong batong kapitolyo pasig

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Researcher:ano pong edad nyo?

Participant: ah,38 years old
Researcher: ilan po ang anak nyo?
Participant: ah 2 isang uhmm 6 years old, atsaka isang 4 years old.
Researcher: Gaano ka na katagal naging house husband?
Participant: actually since pinanganak yung anak ko ako na yung, kaming dalawa
na ng asawa ko yung nagtulungan kasi may OFW kami ah alam mo naman pag
ofw kayo lang mismo ang magtutulungan, walang nanay, walang tatay so dun
nag start yung ano yung agiging ah pagiging nanay at tatay ko sa mga anak
ko.
Researcher:mga ilang taon na po ba ?
Participant: ah mula nung pinanganak yung panganay ko hanggang maging
isang taon sya mga ganun ko sya inalagaan kasi yung wife ko isang guro sa
isang bansa sa libya so alam nyo naman yung guro ang hirap ng. trabaho nya
hindi natatapos lang sa school pati sa bahay may mga ginagawa pa kaya
sinusuportahan ko sya sa mga yung pagiging nanay nya eh ako na yung ah..
ginagampanan ko na dahil sa hirap ng trabaho nya
Researcher: Nagtatrabaho ba ang iyong asawa? Ano po ba ang trabaho nya?
Participant: yun nga, bilang guro nagtuturo sya uhmm.. sa libya

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Researcher: matagal na po ba sya doon?

Participant: ah mga 7 years na din syang nagtuturo dun. Uhmm every 10 months
naman sya umuuwi pero ngayon kasi medyo magulo ang sitwasyon ngayon ahh
hindi sya nakakauwi .
Researcher: Ano ang background nya sa pagaaral at mga experience nya sa
trabaho?
Participant: ah tapos sya nang bilang guro sa university of MSU ( Mindanao
State University) nag ah.. nag ah tawag dito ri sya nagtapos sa PCC(Pasig
Ctaholic College) dyan sa pasig parang masteral ata yun dyan sya nagmasteral
at ah uhmm nag graduate sya, nagturo sya, nag volunteer sya dito sa amin sa
GK (Gawad kalinga) bilang isang teacher din so dun na developed yung pagiging
ano nya guro nya tapos ayun ah may nag offer sa kanyang mag ibang bansa
pero dalaga pa sya nung time na yun, dalaga pa sya nun so pero kami na sa GK
mga volunteer kami sa GK so dun, dun kami nagstart yung relasyon namin ah
mga binata at dalaga
Researcher: Maari mo bang ilarawan ang iyong sariling background ng kaunti?
Gusto ko ng simpleng pagkakasunod ng iyong buhay - kung saan ka
ipinanganak, kung saan ka lumaki, kung saan ka nagaral sa paaralan / kolehiyo,
kailan nakapagtapos ka, makapag-asawa, magkaroon ng mga bata?
Participant: ah pinanganak ako sa province ng Western samar no, pero dito na
kami sa manila, dito ako sa manila lumaki, nagkaroon ng isip. Dito sa pasig ako

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ah nagaral ng elementary, highschool, nag vocational ako dahil sa hirap ng

buhay nag vocational lang ako, building electricity ah nagamit ko naman yan
nung nag abroad din naman ako
Researcher: ilang taon po kayo nag abroad noon?
Participant: uhmm mga 3 years ako nakapag abroad ah kasama nung wife ko
Researcher: asawa nyo pa ba sya nun?
Participant: oo magasawa na kami nun, magasawa na kami.
Researcher: kelan po kayo nakapagasawa ?
Participant: ah 2005, 2005 ako nagasawa
Researcher: kelan kayo nagkaroon ng anak ?
Participant: ahm.. 2009, oo 2009 yung panganay ko yung kasunod 2011.
Researcher: Pwede nyo po bang sabihin sa akin ang impormasyon tungkol sa
iyong mga magulang, ang kanilang pag-aasawa, at ang mga naging papel nila sa
pamilya. Nagtatrabaho ba ang magulang mo?
Participant: ah yung mga magulang ko ah employed naman sila ngayon, mga
retired na sila, Noon naman dahil yung yung father ko kase.. yung father ko nasa
maynila sya tapos nasa province kami nung unang time nun, every week lang
sya umuuwi Saturday ng gabi uuwi sya then pagka pagka linggo ng madaling
araw sya babalik ulit ng manila so ganun lang yung set-up namin .

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Researcher: sya yung naghahanap buhay po?

Participant: oo sya naghahanap buhay dati tapos naiisip nya na, nalalayuan ata
sya sa, nalalayuan sila so dinala kami dito sa manila so ayun na dun na yung
napaka simple lang naman nung buhay namin.
Researcher: yung nanay nyo po house wife lang ?
Participant: oo pero, dahil nagaaral na kami napag isip, naisip na rin ng nanay ko
na magtrabaho sa pabrika
Researcher:tumigil po ba yung tatay nyo nung nagtrabaho na yung nanay nyo ?
Participant: pareho na silang nagtatatrabaho, pareho na so yun nga lang naiiwan
na kami kasi panay lalaki naman kami at ah ganun lang buhay namin
magkikita sa gabi tapos magkikita sa umaga sa maghapon yun lang, yung ano
yun lang.
Researcher: Ano ang mga tungkulin ng iyong mga magulang sa iyong pamilya?
Isinasagawa o sinunsunod parin ba ng iyong mga magulang ang tradisyunal na
pang pang lalaki o pang babae na tungkulin?
Participant: hindi eh, kasi ako nung maliit ako, naglalaba ako eh, minsan nga
nalalabhan ko yung mga damit ng nanay ko kase alam mo na pag lalaki ka ano
puro ka laro eh pero tong nanay ko, mga magulang ko hindi eh, binibigyan kanila
ng responsibilidad, bibigyan kanilal ng task, oh ganto gawain mo, ganyan gawain

126

mo pag hindi mo nasunod yun dun bibigyan ka ng parusa pagh hindi mo nagawa
yung inuutos.
Researcher: Sa partikular, maaari ka bang pumunta sa ilang mga detalye tungkol
sa iyong ama? Ano ang kanyang pangunahing pokus o ginagawa sa buhay?
Participant: ang tatay ko ay isang driver uhmm medyo may mahigpit parang
masasabi ko na parang batas militar kung ihahambing mo kasi napa strikto nya
tapos yung culture daw nila, yung mga magulang daw nya eh parang i-style
kastila daw medyo may pamalo ayun ah nakatikim naman ako ng palo sa kanya
pero marerealize mo na lang pag malaki ka na tama naman yung ano eh yung
mga sinasabi nya, mga ginagawa nya eh.
Researcher: Paano niya nahati ang kanyang oras sa pagitan ng trabaho,
pagaalaaga, libangan.?
Participant: bilang ama, sa tatay ko ah mararamdaman mo yun eh kase ano eh
pag andun, pagmagkasama na kayo sa bahay lalo na sa pagkain, hapagkainan
at magkakasama na kayo nakahiga duon mo mararamdaman na concern sya
hahanapin nya bawat isa bago matulog mangangaral muna dun dun mo
maano na hahanapin ka nya at hindi sya pabayang ama kahit na wala yung mga
anak nya hindi nya hiahanap, eto hinahanap nya to bago matulog
Researcher: Anong mga uri ng mga tungkulin at domestic mga gawain ang
ginawa nya sa loob ng bahay?

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Participant: number 1 yung pagluluto, yung nanay ko kase hindi marunong

magluto, ah yung nanay ko kasi, noong pumunta sya sa dito sa manila
nagkasambahay sya pero yaya, kahit daw dun sa kanila, kine kwento ng tatay ko
noong mga nagiistart palang silang magka pamilya talagang hindi marunong
magluto ang nanay ko at nalaman ko naman yun na hindi talaga marunong
magluto ang nanay ko, yung tatay ko pala-kilos sa bahay eh, actually yung tatay
ko yung, yung laging nagsasabi samin na uy ganito gawin mo, sya yung
mabokal, madaldal, masalita. Yung nanay ko hindi sya ganun
Researcher: Sinong mas masipag yung nanay mo o ang tatay mo?
Participant: yung tatay ko.
Researcher: Gaano kahalaga ang buhay pamilya sa kanya kumpara sa karera o
trabaho?
Participant: alam mo nahahati eh, nahahati kase kung hindi ka nagtatatrabaho,
kung hindi nagtatrabaho yung magulang mo may pangangailangan ka siguro
mas malamang yung trabaho pero pagdating sa loob ng bahay mas lamang yung
pagiging tatay, pagiging magulang kaya nahahati yung, sa tingin ko nahahati.
Researcher: Ano ang mga aspeto ng iyong kasaysayan (pamilya buhay,
relihiyon, karanasan sa trabaho, mga kaibigan, iba pang mga magulang) Sa
inyong palagay ang may impluwensya sa iyong mga tanawin ng pagiging-ama ?
Participant: siguro yung pagiging ama, yung pagiging tatay, malaki malaking
bagay yung nakita ko sa tatay ko kahit na mahirap kami nakita ko na maayos

128

naman sya bilang isang ama dahil sya yung nagprovide ng pangangailangan
namin nagiging nakita ko kung gaano ka importante yungh pamilya nya at
ah ayun nakita ko rin kung gaano sya kasinop sa trabaho, gaano nya kamahal
yung pamilya nya so nakita ko yun sa mga magulang ko
Researcher: Maari nyo po bang I kwento sa akin ang tungkol sa iba't-ibang mga
trabaho na napasukan nyo po o napag trabahuan, ano po ang pagkakasunodsunod nila hanggang sa iyong pinakabagong o pinakahuling pinasukang
trabaho?
Participant: ah.. nung nag graduate ako nung highschool ah nagtry na kong
pumasok ng ah pabrika at ah nung pagkatapos ko nang pabrika nag trabaho
naman ako ah.. clerk sa pasig city hall pumasok ako bilang councilor ni Bong
Tatco bilang staff nya at paiba-iba, paiba-ibang trabaho yng napasukan ko, nag
driver din ako yun nga noong nasa libya ako kung ano-ano ang trabaho ko kase
hindi ako mabigyan ng working Visa dahil dependent ako nung wife ko, pumasok
ako noong waiter, ang electrician ko yun ah yun, nagpabrika din ako doon so
madami marami akong napasukan na trabaho eto nga yung last nasa ware
house ako, medical supplies.
Researcher: Bakit mo iniwan ang iyong pinakahuling trabaho o yung trabaho nyo
noon?
Participant: ah siguro dahil hindi ako hindi ako para doon, inisip ko lang sa
tuwing may mangyayaring bagay hindi para sakin yun trabaho na yun

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Researcher: hindi po ba dahil may kailangan magalaga ng anak nyo?

Participant: isa rin yun, isang dahilan din yun. Yung asawa ko dahil wala sa tabi
namin at hindi ka makapag focus pag nagkakasakit ung anak mo ikaw ang
hahanapin so nahahati eh, nahahati kaya nag stay na lang ako sa bahay
Researcher: gaano po kayo kakuntento o nasisiyahan sa inyong trabaho noon
bago kayo maging house husband?
Participant: kasi pag naagtatatrabaho ka ng wala kang inaalala wala, wala lang
eh yung trabaho, wala kang iniisip pero ngayon pag meron ka nang
responsibilidad sa buhay mo syempre lagi mong iuuna yung pamilya mo uhmm
ah pag nagtatarabaho ka syempre para sa kanila to syemre yung sinusweldo mo
nakalaan sa kanila, onti na lang yung para sayo kasi merong kailangan katulad
ng mga pangangailangan sa pagkain,damit.

Researcher: Ano ang inyong hangarin para sa inyong sarili?

Participant: ngayon, ah gusto ko lang mabuhay para para maalagaan ko
yung mga anak ko, masustentuhan ko sila at ayun maging malakas.
Researcher: Saan at paano mo nakikita ang iyong sarili sa hinaharap?
Participant: ahh.. kung meron ka sigurong pangarap saka plano pa sa buhay mo
siguro determinasyon nadin sigurp kelangan yung pangarap na yun eh
pagsikapan mo para makuha mo.

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Researcher: May gusto ka bang gampanan na papel o may plano ka ba para sa

iyong sarili? Kung may planong kang magtrabaho ulit paano mo ito sisimulan?
Participant: siguro kung maayos na na maayos yung lagay ng mga anak ko, may
mag te-take over sakin bilang ama kung may magaano sakin tawag dito?
Magbabantay sa mga anak ko yung hindi ako magkakaproblema siguro pepwede
magtrabaho ulit.
Researcher: Sa unang pagkakataon na kayo ay naging isang ama at naging
isang asawa, inasahan mo ba ang pagiging isang house husband ay
makakaepekto sa iyong karera/trabaho? Sa anong paraan?
Participant: sa una parang mahirap eh kase kami ng asawa ko noong nasa ibang
bansa kami ah iniisip na lang namin na talagang ganun ang mangyayari wala
tayong nga magulang tayong dalawa magtutulungan kaya ako nagparaya ako sa
misis ko sige ako na lang magaasikaso ng mga bata mahirap yung trabaho ng
isang guro kaya hindi ko na iniisip na bakit ako magaalaga ganun.
Researcher: Naapektuhan ba ng pagiging house husband nyo po ang mga plano
mo sa pagtatatrabaho? Paano ito nagbago?
Participant: ahm yung una talagang maiisip mo na bakit magtatrabaho, bakit
ako magaalaga eh nagtatrabaho ako bakit hindi sya parang iniisip mo na
parehas lang naman tayo dapat sya magalaga pero kase maganda pag yung
naguusap kayo eh kayong magasawa yung pinaplano nyo ng araw araw yung
mga gawain so maiintindihan nyo siguro.

131

Researcher: Muli, kung babalikan natin ung mga oras na ikaw ay nagtatrabaho
pa sa iyong huling trabaho, ilang oras ka karaniwan na nagtatrabaho, at papaano
mo napagbabalanse ang iyong trabaho at responsibilidad mo sa tahanan (bilang
ama)
Participant: yun nga eh, nung nagtatatrabaho ako ah bilang driver sobra, sobra
yung oras hindi lang otso oras yung trabaho ko eh siguro aabot ng sampung oras
yung trabaho so uuwi ka ng bahay magaasikaso ka pa sa mga anak mo so
mahirap, nahihirapan talaga ako nung time na yun
Researcher: hindi mo po nababalanse
Participant: hindi, mahirap balansehin.
Researcher: noong kayo po ay may trabaho pa,paano nyo pinagusapan o
pinaghatian ng asawa mo ang responsibilidad ng pagaalaga sa mga anak nyo?
Participant:

ahh

yung

desisyon

na

mag-ibang

bansa

napaka-hirap,

napakahirap na para sakin yun kase ako yung mag te-take over sa mga
responsibilidad bilang nanay sa mga anak nya, nasa akin Iniisip ko na lang na
parte ng buhay namin yun na talagang yun ang sitwasyon pinagbigyan ko na
lang.
Researcher: Sa tingin mo? gaano mo katagal isinasaalang-alang ang posibilidad
ng pagiging isang house husband?

132

Paticipant: mula noong maging magasawa kami ah dahil gusto nya talagang ano
advocacy nya yung pagtuturo ah nakatatak nasa sa isip ko na maiiwan at
maiiwan ako eh
Researcher: okay lang po ba inyo na ganito yung sitwasyon nyo? Ano pong
naramdaman nyo?
Participant: sa una parang ang ang hirap, mahirap eh pero unti-unti ko namang
nagagampanan.
Researcher: Ano-ano po ang mga pagsubok o mga pagkakataon ang nagtulak
sayo upang gampanan ang pagiging house husband?
Participant: isa yung ah wala yung misis ko, wala yung wife ko at ah mula nung
pinanganak yung mga anak ko kase ako na yung kasama eh so yung pagiyak
nila sa araw-araw at sa gabi ikaw na yung kasama nila eh kapag nagkasakit sila
wala silang ibang bukang bibig kundi pangalan mo
Researcher: Minsan ba dumadating ka sa mga pagkakataon na naiisip mo na
ang desisyon nang pagiging house husband ay bukal sa loob mong gawin o
napilitan ka lang dahil wala nang ibang paraan?
Participant: hindi ako nasa pilitan eh na napilitan lang eh no. tingin ko eto na
yung eto yung talagang pangyayari sa akin dahil mas pinili namin na
magkahiwalay kami kaya siguro ganito yung nangyari sa buhay namin na
magkalayo kami. Hindi na napilitan eh talagang napagdesisyunan lang namin

133

Researcher: matagal ba bago nyo napagdesisyunan?

Participant: ah kasi yung relasyon namin binatat dalaga pa kami nagdesisyun na
sya na nasa malayo sya so kase ang guro kasi diba every 10 months lang yung
pagtuturo so every 10 months sya umuuwi eh yun nga nagkaroon ng nabuntis
sya, nagpakasal kami, nagsama kami eh nung time na yun nabuntis yung misis
ko nasa ibang bansa eh so kelangan kong puntahan sya doon kase bawal ang
buntis sa arab country na walang ama, walang asawa so kailangan kong mag
resign sa trabaho para puntahan lang sya so dun palang, dun palang
sinakripisyo ko na yung pagiging ano ko pagiging lalaki diba kase sinakripisyo ko
na para puntahan lang sya doon.
Researcher: Kung dati ay nagtatatrabaho kayo Maari mo bang ma-idescribe ang
transition o pagbabago na iyong naranasan nung kayo po ay naging house
husband na? anong pakiramdam?
Participant: kapag, nung nagtatatrabaho ako wala akong, wala akong iniisip eh,
trabaho lang eh, trabaho lang, sarili ko lang eh gantong meron ka nang
respopnsibilidad naka pokus ka na sa mga anak mo na lang eh.
Researcher: nanibago po ba kayo?
Participant: ah nanibago ako kase may mga barkada tayo pag may magyaya
sa atin, gimick na ganito hindi kana makaka oo ngayon dahil iniisip mo meron
kang anak na babantayan dahil pag umalis ka may maririnig ka sa tenga mo na
umiiyak na may nagaantay sayo so ganun.

134

Researcher: Ngayon na ikaw ay isa ng full time house husband, maaari mong
ilarawan kung paano mo at ng iyong asawa hinati o pinagusapan ang pagaalga
at gawaing bahay? Ano po yung mga naging responsibilidad nyo sa bahay, sa
asawa at sa anak?
Participant: sa bahay, syempre ah ikaw yung ah maglalaba ng mga damit ng
mga anak mo ah magaayos ng mga gawaing bahay, sa pagtuturo sa kanila ng
mga tamang pananalita nila, tamang gawain nila ahmm bilang asawa naman
kase basta niintindihan nyong isat-isa andun yung pagmamahal nyo saka center
si God sa buhay nyo parang ganun na lang, ganun na lang kayo kabilis mag
kaintindihan eh though may mga panganagilangan kayong magasawa pero
parang kwentuhan na lang eh
Researcher: sa inyong mga anak po ?
Participant: ah ayun ikaw na nanay, ikaw pa tatay nila eh ngayon nga nagaaral
so ikaw parin nagtuturo, so ikaw na nagpapaligo, ikaw na nagpapakain ngayon,
mahirap mahirap na masayadahil iinit ang ulo mo na mapapatawa ka dahil
napapasaya ka nang mga anak mo
Researcher: Maari nyo po bang mailarawan o maikwento ang isang tipikal na
araw para sa iyo? Magsimula po tayo sa umaga.
Participant: sa umaga, magiisip ka ng almusal ninyong mag a-ama ah syempre
magiisip ka parin ng pagkain nyo sa tanghali para hanggang hapon na eh

135

gigising ka talaga ng maaga dahil lalo na estudyante, may estudyante ka so

iisipan mo na
Researcher: kayo rin po ba nagpapa plantya ng damit?
Participant: lahat siguro ng pangbabaeng gawain ngayon kaya narin ng house
husband kase yung ganitong tipo ng ng buhay nyo yung malayo yung asawa
mo yun na yun, yun na yun ang gagawin mo.
Researcher: sa tanghali po?
Participant: sa tanghali pagkatapos kumain eh papatulugin mo syempre eh
kailangan matulog sila tapos iisip ka na naman ng meryenda nila (laugh) pag
gising, oo ganun lang, ganun lang araw-araw ganun lang ng ganun kaya yung
pag ba-budget mo sa pera mo eh ah kelangan nakatabi kasi kapag may hiningi
at may pangangailangan kailangan meron kang makukuha
Researcher:pag mga gabi po?
Participant: sa umpisa dahil nakasama nila yung mommy nila mahilig sila
magtanong daddy si mommy? kelan uuwi? Puro ganun yung tanong nila kaya
naisip namin na ah tatawag sya sa gabi at meron kaming schedule sa ako
Thursday night, ynung mga anak ko Friday so ganun yung ano namin
Researcher: ilang taon nyo na pong ginagawa yan ?

136

Participant: noon pa eh, binata pa lang ako pupunta ako ng internet caf para
mag internet pero ngayon may internet na kami eh may wifi pa ko so sa bahay
na lang ako sa gabi kase my personal (laugh) tapos yung mga anak ko
Researcher: Maari po ba nating pagusapan yung pakikihalubilo niyo po sa ibang
tao? Naapektuhan po ba ng pagiging isang house husband ang pakikitungo nyo
sa ibang tao
Participant: ah oo, sa akin malaki dahil lumaki kasi akong marami akong
nakakahalubilong tao kasi na involve ako sa pulitika ah marami din akong
kaibigan yun nga eh may bisyo rin ako nung time na yun ahh.. talagang
malaking-malaking pagbabago dahil masasabi ng mga kaibigan mo na hindi na
umiinom, hindi narin ako naninigarilyo, hindi na ko sumasama sa gimikan so
kase may mga kaibigan naman akong naiintindihan naman kaso may mga
kaibigan ka ding nagtatampo sayo dahil hindi na ganun yung ginagawa mo dati,
nagbago na.
Researcher: yung pakikitungo po ng iba sa inyo dahil isa po kayong house
husband?
Participant: ah ngayon kase may mga ganun narin eh may mga house husband
na rin kase ah pero mas lamang ata yung mga nanay ang nasa loob ng bahay
pero kasi kaming mga house husband eh kokonti lang kami pero siguro
matatangap na din kami ng society natin na ang lalake ngayon eh pwede nang
sa loob ng bahay

137

Researcher: feeling nyo po ba minsan pinaguusapan kayo na isa kayong house

husband ?
Participant: oo , kasi makakahalubilo mo mga nanay na eh katulad ng
paghahatid mo sa, sa school mga nanay ang naandoon eh lalo na pag mag gigimick kayo ng mga anak mo nanay parin yung kasama at may kasamang nanay
at tatay eh kami tatay-nanay na halos sa bahay namin. So kami lang talagang
tatlo, kami lang talaga.
Researcher: Naapektuhan ba nito ang pananaw mo sa pagiging house husband?
Participant: ah.. hindi nama, hindi naman ganun kalaki na naapektuhan kase
nakaplano kase ah nakapokus ka kase na kaya ka ganito dahil ganito yung
sitwasyon mo kailangan gampanan mo yung hindi nagagamapanan ng asawa
mo dahil malayo, malayo sya, ganun ganun lang iniisip ko na lang na ganun eh
hindi ko na iniisip na ako ang lalaki dapat ako yung ano may sometimes nga
na na naisip ko noon ako naman sana, ako naman ang nasa abroad sya
naman dito para naman maranasan nya yung, paano ang pagiging isang
magulang sa mga anak namin pero ganun talaga eh gampanan mo na lang
kung anong iniwan sayo
Researcher: Kung maiilarawan nyo po o madedescribe nyo po ang iyong sarili
nyo ngayon, ano po ang masasabi mo?
Participant: ah hindi ko masasabi na naging maayos ako sa pagpapalaki ng mga
anak ko ngayon kase kahit na anong sabihin mo sa kanila sa mga anak mo,

138

anong pangaral mo, gaano mo sila bantayan alam mo ang panahon ngayon
yung society natin malaking impluwensya lalo na nakatira kami sa depressed
area pag sumilip ka lang sa bintana mo makikita mo, maririnig mo
nagmumurahan na, so nakakatakot para sa mga nak mo dahil hindi mo hawak
ang ano ang panahon diba,
Researcher: Komportable po ba kayo sa papel na inyong ginagampanan bilang
isang house husband?
Participant: masaya ako sa ginagawa ko and nakikita ko na masaya yung anak
ko ayun nga sinusubukan ko na maging maayos sila na magampanan ko yung
dapat kong gampanan ko sa kanila.
Researcher: Ano po ang mga reaksyon ng mga taong malapit po sa inyo (tulad
ng pamilya, mga kaibigan) sa inyo papel na ginagampanan bilang isang house
husband?
Participant: ah sa pamilya syempre andyan yung pupunahin ka eh ng mga
magulang mo syempre may nakikita silang siguro hindi maganda sa paningin
nila, maipag kukumpara nila yung mga ginawa nila dati sayo at yung mga
ginagawa mo ngayon sa anak mo so may mga sometimes na oh hindi pwede
to, oh dapat ganito ka andun parin sila para suportahan ka
Researcher: yung mga kaibigan nyo naman po ano pong reaksyon nila na house
husband ka?

139

Participant: ah yung iba nagtaka, yung iba tumawa, may iba naman na natuwa
dahil dahil nakita nila naman kung gaano ko pinahahalagahan yung pamilya ko
kase bilang isang lalaki at bilang isang ama napakahirap na gampanan talaga
yung bilang isang ano, houseband.
Researcher: Nakikita nyo po ba ang sarili nyo bilang isang tatay na naghahanap
buhay o may career o isang tatay na pansamantala lang na tumigil sa
pagtatatrabaho o isang full time parent(tatay) o magulang sa mga anak?
Participant: dahil sa sutwasyon namin ngayon tingin ko yung pagiging full-tine
house

parent ang ano ko nakikita ko, yun nga tulad ng sinabi ko yung

istwasyon namin malayo yung wife ko walang mag te-take over nung.. nung mga
gawain, mga responsibilidad nya bilang isang ina sa mga anak ko so yun yung
ginagampanan ko ngayon sa kanila yung pagiging amat ina sa mga anak ko.
Researcher: Nag plano po ba kayo noon o sinubukan nyo po bang ulit na
maghanap ng trabaho?
Participant: sinubukan ko, sinubukan kong maghanap ng ibat ibang trabaho yun
nga lang dahil walang magaasikaso sa anak mo nagdadalawang isip ka kung
itutuloy mo o hindi yung ganung sitwasyon
Researcher: ano pong pakiramdam pag ganun po yung nangyayari?
Participant: may mga oppurtunity na may nagaalok sayo na etong sweldo mo,
eto salary mo pero yung oras mahaba syempre magiisip ka, tatanggapin mo ba

140

yun o baka naman mapabayaan mo yung pamilya mo, yung ganun ang iniisip ko
eh
Researcher: Paano po nakaapekto ang pagiging house husband nyo po ng
matagal ng panahon sa paghahanap nyo ng trabaho?
Participant: malaking epekto sa trabaho yung single parent ka no yung ikaw yung
nagaasikaso sa pamilya mo kahit na meron ka, may nagbabantay sa mga anak
mo dahil sila yung nakasama mo mula maliliit sila hanggang sa nagka isip sila
andun parin, andun parin nasa isip mo pa din na kailangan ka nila sa umaga
hanggang sa gabi. Kaya hindi ka makakapagtrabaho ng maayos eh pag ikaw
nag overtime ka iniisip mo agad sino nang magaasikaso sa mga anak mo kaya
hindi ka makakahanap ng trabaho ng maayos dahil sa ganung sitwasyon.
Researcher: minsan po ba nai-istress kayo sa pagiging house husband?
Participant: ay oo, oo kasi magugulo sila parang lalaki eh yung malilikot sila, pag
masakit ang ulo mo tapos makakarinig ka nang ingay medyo pero piagaaralan ko
yung tempered yung sarili mo pagaralan mo papano mo mahahandle yung mga
ganung sitwasyon kase yang mga bata kapag lumalaki maraming tanong na yan
eh magulo na yan eh, magulo so yun inaano ko lang mina-managed ko lang
siguro yung init ng ulo ko, yung stress ko.
Researcher: Kung sakali pong makabalik o makahanap na po kayo ng trabaho,
sa tingin nyo po ba ay kaya nyo pa pong mabalanse ang oras ninyo sa
paghahanap buhay at pagiging isang ama o asawa? Sa paanong paraan po?

141

Participant: alam mo yung, yang pag ma-manage ko ng ganyan siguro yung

quality time kapag may oras ka kahit onting oras lang siguro ibigay mo na ng
todo-todo sa pamilya mo, sa anak mo kase pag ikaw ay nasa labas na ang iisipin
mo trabaho mo eh kaya pag may konting oras ipkaita mo na sa kanila ka nung
mga oras na iyon.
Researcher: Sa inyong opinyon po, Ano po kaya ang batayan ng isang mabuting
ama ngayon yung naghahanap buhay po ba o yung inaalagaan at binabantayan
ang mga anak?
Participant: ah yung pananaw ko dyan dalawa eh kasi kung nagtatatrabaho ka at
pinapabayaan mo naman yung mga anak mo walang kwenta, kung ikaw naman
ang nagpapalaki ng pamilya mo hindi ka nagtatrabaho at hindi mo
nagagampanan ng maayos yung responsibilidad mo sa mga anak mo wala ring
kwenta siguro magtrabaho ka pero gampanan mo yung pagiging magulang mo
syempre kelangan I-provide mo yung mga pangangailangan nila, syempre
kelangan marunong din silang ah makilala yung panginoon kase sabi nga nila
kung wala ang panginoon sa inyo wala ring mangyayari talaga
Researcher: sa tingin nyo po ba anong klaseng ama kayo sa inyong pamilya?
Participant: hindi ko masasabi na maayos kase (laugh) mahirap talaga na ikaw
lang magisa no, may mga palpak, lalaki ako, babae yung mga anak ko syempre
ang laro ko basketball syempre laro nila barbie diba parang hindi ako makapag
basketball na kasama ko yung mga anak ko so inaano ko na lang binabagay ko
kung kailangan ko maglaro ng barbie, bakit hindi diba?

142

Researcher: Ang pagiging house husband po ba o full time tatay po sa inyong

pamilya ay nakaimpluwensya sa inyo pananaw ukol sa kung ano po ba ang
tunay na ibig sabihin ng isang mabuting magulang, kung oo, sa mga anong
paraan po?
Participant: sa akin, ang pagiging magulang hindi lang siguro ahm concern ka
sa mga anak mo kumbaga ipakita mo na, ipakita mo sa kanila na na ang
pagiging ama ay hindi lang natatapos, hindi lang sya natatapos yung, sige bata
pa kayo, sige gagampanan ko ang pagiging magulang ko kapag malaki na kayo
wala na, siguro hanggang sa tumanda sila mula bata hanggang tumanda sila
ipakita mo na magulang ka
Researcher: Ano po ba yung pinaka gusto nyong aspeto o advantage ng
pagiging isang full time house house husband ?
Participant: sakin kasi parang nageenjoy ako dahil minsan ko lang to, minsan ko
lang magagawa to kase alam mo babae sila pag lumaki ang mga to hindi mo na
magagawa na paliguan sila, halikan sila,yakap-yakapin sila kase eto hanggang
mga bata pa sila parang ang sarap sa feeling na makasama sila habang bata pa
sila well, alam mo lalakit lalaki yan hindi, hindi na ganun yung mangyayare.
Researcher: ano naman po yung pinaka ayaw nyo o hindi nyo nagugustuhang
aspeto sa pagiging isang house husband?
Participant: yung pag dedesisyon lalo na sa mga anak mo kapag nagkasakit sila,
kapag merong school kase merong parin akong asawa na kelangan kong

143

tanungin at hingan ng opinyon para sa mga anak mo, para sa mga anak ko hindi
yung dahil ako yung nagaalaga ako na ang masusunod, hindi hinihingi ko parin
yung opinyon ng asawa ko
Researcher: Sa tingin nyo po ba ano-ano po ang mga pagbabago sa inyong sarili
na sa tingin nyo ay resulta ng pagiging isang househusband?
Participant: malaking, malaking pagbabago ko kase sabi ko nga mga babae yung
anak ko syempre kelangan kilos babae, pananalita babae, pati ikaw ganun narin
mangyayari sayo (laugh) parang babae ka narin kumilos
Researcher: inaasar po ba kayo dito na ?
Participant: naasar ako kase nung, ito nga ang nangyari eh nung gumadruate
yung anak ko ang costume nila eh K-pop, hindi ko, kelangan ko pa tanungin
yung wife ko, kelangan ko pa magresearch anong itsura ng k-Pop tapos nung
nasuot ko na, napasuot ko na at nakita ng misis ko yung video nagalit pa sakin
dahil hindi daw yun K-pop diba parang, kaya ang hirap pag desisyon ng mga
bagay lalo na sa ganyan
Researcher: Ano pong reaksyon ng inyong asawa sa inyong pagiging isang fulltime house houseband? May nagbago ba sa inyong relasyon o pagsasama,
kung meron, ano-ano po iyon?
Participant: hindi naman, wala namang nagbago ang ano lang ng wife ko
nagpapasalamat sya syempre napalaki ko ng ang mga anak ko ng malulusog at
ah hindi malayo sa kanya atleast alam nila na ang mommy nila eh nagtatrabaho

144

sa ibang bansa hindi ko, hindi ko tinatago hindi ko nialayo yung loob nila sa
mommy nila
researcher: Sa palagay nyo po ang trabaho po ng inyong asawa ay isa sa mga
dahilan kung bakit po kayo naging isang house husband?
Participant: oo, malaki yun siguro kahit dito sya nagtatrabaho o mangyayari din
dito yun diba ang guro dtio diba hindi lang eskwelahan ang kanilang trabaho pati
pa sa bahay nakita ko yun kase yung asawa ko paggaling sa school pagdating
dito gagawa ng lesson plan, nakatutok talaga sa libro talagang matutulog sya ng
late na late na talaga kaya ayun natutunan ko na asikasuhin sya kaya siguro
ganun ung ano
Researcher: Ano- anong bagay po ba and naapektuhan ng inyo pong pagiging
isang house husabnd? Nakaapaekto po ba ang sitwasyon nyo magasawa sa
mga anak nyo? Kung oo, Paano nyo po masasabi naapektuhan sila?
Participant: ah meron yatang natanong yung panganay ko ah, nagtatanong sya
nasaan ang mommy nya bakit ikaw ang kasama namin, minsan sinasabi ko na
lang na si mommy nya nagtatrabaho sa ibang bansa kaya si daddy muna ang
kasama nyo ngayon pero darating yung panahon uuwi naman si mommy, si
daddy naman ang magtatrabaho. Kinakausap ko lang sila ng maayos
Researcher: may mga gusto pa po ba kayong idagdag o mga gusto pa pong
pagusapan?

145

Participant: bilang houseband kase mahirap kung hindi, iba kasi yung sitwasyon
ko eh kahit na ako ang nagaalaga ng mga anak ko, may komunikasyon ako sa
asawa ko, sa nanay ng mga anak ko hindi lang ako ang nagdedesisyon hindi
lang ako gumagawa ng paraan para mapalaki yung mga anak ko, naguusap
kami at pinapadama namin ang pagmamahal namin sa anak namin at sa amin
ding magasawa
Researcher: sino po mas magaling magalaga ? si nanay o si tatay?
Participant: siguro ang nanay talaga, nanay ang napaka importante kase ano
mas alam nila mas dama nila ang pagaalaga at pagaasikaso ngmga bata kesa
sa tatay pero sa tingin ko parang unti-unti nakukuha narin ng mga tatay yan eh
sabi nga nila sa darating na panahon na ang mga tatay na ang magsasaing at
magluluto ngayon nangyayari na talaga eh sila na naglalaba
Researcher: yung dun po sa government kase parang ano diba kapag housewife
madami pong tumutulong, parang may mga organization po sa house husband
po kase wala, okay lang po sa inyo yun na wala kayong parang organization ng
mga house husband?
Participant: eh dito nga kase ang nanay dito kasali sa 4 piece eh, may mga 4
piece sila eh, eh ako hindi ako masalisali sa 4 piece di ko alam kung baket eh
(laugh) kaya edi syempre kung ano nalang yung nangyayari eh sumunod ka
nalang ganito nalang, gampanan mo na lang kung ano yung dapat mong
gampanan atleast hindi mo mapapabayaan yung anak mo, hindi mo
mapapabayaan ang asawa mo .

146

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Qualitative research questionnaire Si Nanay, Si tatay palit sila sa bahay a

exploratory study of the self-worth and self-affectiveness of house
husband in Metro Manila
Part 1. Warm Up and Basic Information

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Lets begin by covering some of the basic facts. Could you tell me some basic
information about your current situation?
1. Where are you living?
( Saan po kayo nakatira? Matagal na po ba kayo dito? Dito po ba kayo lumaki ?
Bakit nyo pong tumira dito? )
2. What is your current family situation? How many children do you have? What
are their ages?
( Ano ang kasalukuyang sitwasyon ng inyong pamilya? Ilan po ang anak mo?
Ano ang kanilang mga edad?)
3. How long have you been a house husband?
(Gaano ka na katagal naging house husband?)
4. Is your wife working? What kind of work does she do? What is her background
in terms of education and experience?
( Nagtatrabaho ba ang iyong asawa? Ano po ba ang trabaho nya? Matagal na ba
sya sa trabaho nya? Ano ang background nya sa pagaaral at mga experience
nya sa trabaho?)
Part 2. Your Own Upbringing and Family Experience

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1. Could you describe your own background a bit? Id like a basic chronology of
your life - where were you born, where you grew up, where you went to
school/college, when did you graduate, get married, have kids, etc.
( Maari mo bang ilarawan ang iyong sariling background ng kaunti? Gusto ko ng
simpleng pagkakasunod ng iyong buhay - kung saan ka ipinanganak, kung saan
ka lumaki, kung saan ka nagaral sa paaralan / kolehiyo, kailan nakapagtapos ka,
makapag-asawa, magkaroon ng mga bata, at iba pa )
2. Please tell me a bit more about your parents, their marriage, and the roles
they played in the family. Did/do both your parents work? What roles did each of
your parents play in your family? Did they adopt fairly traditional male/female
roles?
( Pwede nyo po bang sabihin sa akin ang impormasyon tungkol sa iyong mga
magulang, ang kanilang pag-aasawa, at ang mga naging papel nila sa pamilya.
Nagtatrabaho ba ang magulang mo? Ano ang mga tungkulin ng iyong mga
magulang sa iyong pamilya? Isinasagawa o sinunsunod parin ba ng iyong mga
magulang ang tradisyunal na pang pang lalaki o pang babae na tungkulin?)
3. Specifically, could you go into some detail about your father? What was his
primary focus? How did he split his time between work, caregiving, hobbies and
other personal, external pursuits? What kinds of roles and domestic tasks did he
perform around the house? How important was family life to him versus career?

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(Sa partikular, maaari ka bang pumunta sa ilang mga detalye tungkol sa iyong
ama? Ano ang kanyang pangunahing pokus o ginagawa sa buhay? Paano niya
nahati ang kanyang oras sa pagitan ng trabaho, pagaalaaga, libangan. Anong
mga uri ng mga tungkulin at domestic mga gawain ang ginawa nya sa loob ng
bahay? Gaano kahalaga ang buhay pamilya sa kanya kumpara sa karera o
trabaho? )
4. What aspects of your history (family life, religion, work experience, friends,
other parents, etc.) do you think have influenced your views of fatherhood ?
(Ano ang mga aspeto ng iyong kasaysayan (pamilya buhay, relihiyon, karanasan
sa trabaho, mga kaibigan, iba pang mga magulang, atbp) Sa inyong palagay ang
may impluwensya sa iyong mga tanawin ng pagiging-ama?)
Part 3. Career and Career Aspirations
Now lets talk about your career and career aspirations prior to becoming a fulltime house husband.
1. Please tell me a bit about the various jobs you have had in your career, again
in chronological order ending with your most recent job.
(Maari nyo po bang I kwento sa akin ang tungkol sa iba't-ibang mga trabaho na
napasukan nyo po o napag trabahuan, ano po ang pagkakasunod-sunod nila
hanggang sa iyong pinakabagong o pinakahuling pinasukang trabaho?)
2. Why did you leave your most recent job?

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(Bakit mo iniwan ang iyong pinakahuling trabaho o yung trabaho nyo noon?)
3. How satisfied were you with the kind of work you were doing before house
husband full time?
(gaano po kayo kakuntento o nasisiyahan sa inyong trabaho noon bago kayo
maging house husband?)
4. What were your career aspirations? Where did (do) you see your career
unfolding in the future? Did you have a specific role in mind you wanted to attain
or a clear plan for where you were heading professionally?
(Ano ang inyong hangarin para sa inyong sarili? Saan at paano mo nakikita ang
iyong sarili sa hinaharap? May gusto ka bang gampanan na papel o may plano
ka ba para sa iyong sarili? Kung may planong kang magtrabaho ulit paano mo ito
sisimulan? )
5. At the time you first became a father and a husband, did you anticipate that
becoming a house husband would impact your career? In what ways?
(Sa unang pagkakataon na kayo ay naging isang ama at naging isang asawa,
inasahan mo ba ang pagiging isang house husband ay makakaepekto sa iyong
karera/trabaho? Sa anong paraan?)
7. Have your career plans changed now that you have been a house husband?
How have they changed?

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(Naapektuhan ba ng pagiging house husband nyo po ang mga plano mo sa

pagtatatrabaho? Paano ito nagbago?)

Part 4. Balancing work and family while you were working

1. Again, focusing on the time when you were working at your last job, how many
hours were you typically working, and how were you balancing work and home
life?
(Muli, kung babalikan natin ung mga oras na ikaw ay nagtatrabaho pa sa iyong
huling trabaho, ilang oras ka karaniwan na nagtatrabaho, at papaano mo
napagbabalanse ang iyong trabaho at responsibilidad mo sa tahanan (bilang
ama)?
2. How would you have characterized the split of domestic and parenting
responsibilities with your spouse when you were working?
(noong kayo po ay may trabaho pa,paano nyo pinagusapan o pinaghatian ng
asawa mo ang responsibilidad ng pagaalaga sa mga anak nyo)
3. Had you (or for how long had you) considered the possibility of becoming a
house husband?
(Sa tingin mo? gaano mo katagal isinasaalang-alang ang posibilidad ng pagiging
isang house husband?)
Part 5. The Transition to full-time parenting

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I would like to explore the process of becoming a house husband. Could we

discuss a few questions regarding this transition process?
1. What were the circumstances that prompted you to become a house
husband?
(Ano-ano po ang mga pagsubok o mga pagkakataon ang nagtulak sayo upang
gampanan ang pagiging house husband?)
2. To what extent did you feel the decision to be at home full-time was yours vs.
being foisted upon you?
(Minsan ba dumadating ka sa mga pagkakataon na naiisip mo na ang desisyon
nang pagiging house husband ay bukal sa loob mong gawin o napilitan ka lang
dahil wala nang ibang paraan?)
3. How did the transition feel moving from full-time worker to full-time house
husband/father?
(Kung dati ay nagtatatrabaho kayo Maari mo bang ma-idescribe ang transition o
pagbabago na iyong naranasan nung kayo po ay naging house husband na?
anong pakiramdam?)
4. Now that you are at home full-time, could you describe the split (perhaps in
percentages) of how you and your wife divide caregiving and domestic tasks?
What are the tasks that you take primary responsibility for?

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(Ngayon na ikaw ay isa ng full time house husband, maaari mong ilarawan kung
paano mo at ng iyong asawa hinati o pinagusapan ang pagaalga at gawaing
bahay? Anu-ano po ba ang mga naging responsibilidad nyo sa bahay, sa iyong
asawa at sa iyong mga anak?)
5. Could you describe a typical day for you?
(Maari nyo po bang mailarawan o maikwento ang isang tipikal na araw para sa
iyo?)
6. Could you talk about your social network and connections? Who do you
maintain contact with on a regular basis? Has that network changed significantly
since becoming a house husband and a stay-at-home parent?
( Maari po ba nating pagusapan yung pakikihalubilo niyo po sa ibang tao?
Naapektuhan po ba ng pagiging isang house husband ang pakikitungo nyo sa
ibang tao o ang pakikitungo ng iba sa inyo? Naapektuhan ba nito ang pananaw
mo sa pagiging house husband?)
Part 6. Identity
Many people (and especially men) feel their identity is tied to their career (so
much so that the question What do you do? might be seen as a surrogate for
Who are you?). Here we would like to explore the role of identity in your life and
how, if at all that has changed since you have become a full-time parent.
1. If you were asked to describe yourself today, what would you say?

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(Kung maiilarawan nyo po o madedescribe nyo po ang iyong sarili nyo ngayon,
ano po ang masasabi mo?
2. Do you feel comfortable with being in the role of a house husband ?
( Komportable po ba kayo sa papel na inyong ginagampanan bilang isang house
husband?)
3. How do others close to you (i.e. family, friends, etc.) react to your role as a
house husband? How about others that know you less well or those you just
met?
(Ano po ang mga reaksyon ng mga taong malapit po sa inyo (tulad ng pamilya,
mga kaibigan) sa inyo papel na ginagampanan bilang isang house husband?)
(Paano naman po ung reaksyon ng mga taong di po malapit sa inyo o yung mga
taong kakakilala mo pa lang sa inyo po pagiging isang house husband?)
4. When you think about yourself, do you see yourself as a career person, a
career person who has taken a temporary detour, or a full-time parent?
(Nakikita nyo po ba ang sarili nyo bilang isang tatay na naghahanap buhay o
may career o isang tatay na pansamantala lang na tumigil sa pagtatatrabaho o
isang full time parent(tatay) o magulang sa mga anak?)
5. Do you feel that your current state (whichever one theyve chosen) is driven
primarily by you at this stage, family circumstances, or labor market conditions?

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(Sa tingin nyo po ba yung estado nyo ngayon bilang isang house husband ay
dahil sa sitwasyon nyo sa pamilya o dahil sa pagbaba ng ekonomiya?)
6. Are you currently looking for work or have you done so since you left your last
job? What has happened with your job search and how has that affected you?
(Nag plano po ba kayo noon o sinubukan nyo po bang ulit na maghanap ng
trabaho? Paano po nakaapekto ang pagiging house husband nyo po ng matagal
ng panahon sa paghahanap nyo ng trabaho?)
7. If you chose or needed to return to work in the near future, are there ways that
you would approach your work or your work-life balance differently?
(Kung sakali pong makabalik o makahanap na po kayo ng trabaho, sa tingin nyo
po ba ay kaya nyo pa pong mabalanse ang oras ninyo sa paghahanap buhay at
pagiging isang ama o asawa? Sa paanong paraan po?)
Part 7. Questions Regarding Fatherhood and Career Identity
1. What does it mean to you to be a good father today? On a scale of 1-5, how
would you rate yourself as a father? Why?
(Sa inyong opinyon po, Ano po kaya ang batayan ng isang mabuting ama
ngayon yung naghahanap buhay po ba o yung inaalagaan at binabantayan ang
mga anak? at sa tingin nyo po ba anong klaseng ama kayo sa inyong pamilya?)
2. Has being a full-time father influenced your thoughts on what it means to be a
good parent? If so, in what ways?

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(Ang pagiging house husband po ba o full time tatay po sa inyong pamilya ay

nakaimpluwensya sa inyo pananaw ukol sa kung ano po ba ang tunay na ibig
sabihin ng isang mabuting magulang, kung oo, sa mga anong paraan po?)
4. What are the best aspects of being a full time house husband? What are the
aspects you like least about it?
(Ano po ba yung pinaka gusto nyong aspeto o advantage ng pagiging isang full
time house househusband ? ano naman po yung pinaka ayaw nyo o hindi nyo
nagugustuhang aspeto sa pagiging isang house husband?)
5. Do you feel you have changed in any way as a result of becoming a house
husband? How?
(Sa tingin nyo po ba ano-ano po ang mga pagbabago sa inyong sarili na sa tingin
nyo ay resulta ng pagiging isang househusband?)
Part 8. Impact on Your Spouse.
Your Spouses Career, Your Family Finances and on Your Kids Obviously, as we
know from the experience of men over many years, having a stay-at-home
spouse can have a great deal of impact on working parents. We would like to
explore that with you now.
1. What has been your spouses reaction to your being at home full-time?

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(Ano pong reaksyon ng inyong asawa sa inyong pagiging isang full-time house
houseband? May nagbago ba sa inyong relasyon o pagsasama, kung meron,
ano-ano po iyon?)
2. Are there specific impacts that you feel your being at home has had on your
spouses work experience? For example, are there specific work tasks that your
spouse has taken on as a result of youre being at home?
(Sa palagay nyo po ang trabaho po ng inyong asawa ay isa sa mga dahilan kung
bakit po kayo naging isang house husband?)
3. Ano- anong bagay po ba and naapektuhan ng inyo pong pagiging isang house
husabnd? Nakaapaekto po ba ang sitwasyon nyo magasawa sa mga anak nyo?
Kung oo, Paano nyo po masasabi naapektuhan sila?
Part 9. Miscellaneous and Wrap-up
1. Are there any areas we have not covered that you feel you would like to
discuss?
(may mga gusto pa po ba kayong idagdag o mga gusto pa pong pagusapan?)
2. Can you recommend anyone who might be a good candidate for this study?