Permissiveparentingisatypeofparentingstylecharacterizedbylowdemandswithhigh

responsiveness.Permissiveparentstendtobeveryloving,yetprovidefewguidelinesand
rules.Theseparentsdonotexpectmaturebehaviorfromtheirchildrenandoftenseemmore
likeafriendthanaparentalfigure.Becausetherearefewrules,expectationsanddemands,
childrenraisedbypermissiveparentstendtostrugglewithselfregulationandselfcontrol.

Childrenraisedbypermissiveparents:

Lackselfdiscipline

Sometimeshavepoorsocialskills

Early Research on Permissive Parenting

Maybeselfinvolvedanddemanding

Basedonherresearchwithpreschoolagechildren,developmentalpsychologistDiana
Baumrinddescribedthreemajorparentingstyles.Inlateryears,researcherswouldcontinue
toinvestigatethedifferentstylesofparentingandevenaddedafourthstyle.Permissive
parentingisoneoftheoriginalparentingstylesdescribedbyBaumrind.

Mayfeelinsecureduetothelackofboundariesandguidance

Permissiveparentingissometimesknownasindulgentparenting.Parentswhoexhibitthis
stylemakerelativelyfewdemandsontheirchildren.Becausetheseparentshavelow
expectationsforselfcontrolandmaturity,theyrarelydisciplinetheirchildren.
AccordingtoBaumrind,permissiveparents"aremoreresponsivethantheyaredemanding.
Theyarenontraditionalandlenient,donotrequirematurebehavior,allowconsiderableself
regulation,andavoidconfrontation."

Characteristics of the Permissive Parenting Style

Permissiveparents:

Havefewrulesorstandardsofbehavior

Whentherearerules,theyareoftenveryinconsistent

Areusuallyverynurturingandlovingtowardstheirkids

Oftenseemmorelikeafriend,ratherthanaparent.

Mayusebriberysuchastoys,giftsandfoodasameanstogetchildtobehave

The Effects of Permissive Parenting

Understanding Permissive Parenting

Inarecentstudy,permissiveparentingwaslinkedtounderagealcoholuse;teenswith
permissiveparentswerethreetimesmorelikelytoengageinheavydrinking.Researchers
alsosuggestthatpermissiveparentingislinkedtootherriskybehaviorssuchasdruguseand
otherformsofmisconduct.
Becausepermissiveparentinginvolvesalackofdemandsandexpectations,childrenraised
byparentswiththisstyletendtogrowupwithoutastrongsenseofselfdiscipline.They
maybemoreunrulyinschoolduetothelackofboundariesinthehome,andmaybeless
academicallymotivatedthanmanyoftheirpeers.
Sincetheseparentshavefewrequirementsformaturebehavior,childrenmaylackskillsin
socialsettings.Whiletheymaybegoodatinterpersonalcommunication,theylackother
importantskillssuchassharing.

Authoritativeparentingisastylecharacterizedbyreasonabledemandsandhigh
responsiveness.Whileauthoritativeparentsmighthavehighexpectationsfortheirchildren,
theseparentsalsogivetheirkidstheresourcesandsupporttheyneedtosucceed.Parents
whoexhibitthisstylelistentotheirkidsandprovideloveandwarmthinadditiontolimits
andfairdiscipline.
Theauthoritativeparentingstyleisusuallyidentifiedasthemosteffective.

Kidsraisedbyauthoritativeparentshavestrongselfregulationsskills,selfconfidence,and
happierattitudes.

The Effects of the Authoritative Parenting Style

A Brief History of Authoritative Parenting

Childdevelopmentexpertsgenerallyidentifytheauthoritativeparentingstyleasthe"best"
approachtoparenting.Childrenraisedbyauthoritativeparentstendtobemorecapable,
happy,andsuccessful.

Duringthe1960s,developmentalpsychologistDianaBaumrinddescribedthreedifferent
typesofparentingstylesbasedonherresearcherwithpreschoolagechildren.Oneofthe
mainparentingstylesidentifiedbyBaumrindisknownastheauthoritativeparentingstyle.
Thisstyleofparentingissometimesreferredtoas"democratic"andinvolvesachildcentric
approachinwhichparentsholdhighexpectationsfortheirchildren.

Characteristics of the Authoritative Parenting Style

Authoritativeparents:

Listentotheirchildren

Encourageindependence

Placelimits,consequences,andexpectationsontheirchildren'sbehavior

Expresswarmthandnurturance

Allowchildrentoexpressopinions

Encouragechildrentodiscussoptions

Administerfairandconsistentdiscipline

Peoplewithauthoritativeparentingstyleswanttheirchildrentoutilizereasoningandwork
independently,buttheyalsohavehighexpectationsfortheirchildren.Whenchildrenbreak
therules,theyaredisciplinedinafairandconsistentmanner.
Authoritativeparentsarealsoflexible.Ifthereareextenuatingcircumstances,theywill
allowthechildtoexplainwhathappenedandadjusttheirresponseaccordingly.
Theyofferconsistentdiscipline,butinawaythatisfairandtakesintoaccountallofthe
variablesincludingthechildsbehaviorandthesituation.

AccordingtoBaumrind,childrenofauthoritativeparents:

Tendtohaveahappierdispositions

Havegoodemotionalcontrolandregulation

Developgoodsocialskills

Areselfconfidentabouttheirabilitiestolearnnewskills

Understanding Why Authoritative Parenting Works

Becauseauthoritativeparentsactasrolemodelsandexhibitthesamebehaviorstheyexpect
fromtheirchildren,kidsaremorelikelytointernalizethesebehaviors.Consistentrulesand
disciplineallowchildrentoknowwhattoexpect.
Becauseparentsexhibitgoodemotionalunderstandingandcontrol,childrenalsolearnto
managetheiremotionsandlearntounderstandothersaswell.
Authoritativeparentsalsoallowchildrentoactindependently,whichteacheskidsthatthey
arecapableofaccomplishingthingsontheirown,helpingtofosterstrongselfesteemand
selfconfidence.
Thiscanbecontrastedwiththeauthoritarianparentingstyle,whichischaracterizedby
exceedinglyhighexpectationswithlittlewarmthandguidance.Forexample,imaginea
situationwhereatwoyoungboysstealacandyfromthegrocerystore.Oneboyhas
authoritativeparents,sowhenhefinallyarriveshomehereceivesafairpunishmentthatfits
thenatureofthetransgression.Heisgroundedfortwoweeksandmustreturnthecandyand
apologizetothestoreowner.Hisparentstalktohimaboutwhystealingiswrong,butare
supportiveandencouragehimnottoengageinsuchbehavioragain.
Theotherboyhasauthoritarianparents,sowhenhearriveshome,heisyelledatbyboth
parents.Hisfatherspankshimandordershimtospendtherestofthenightinhisroom

withoutdinner.Thechildsparentsofferlittlesupportorloveandnofeedbackorguidance
aboutwhythetheftwaswrong.