IGCSE English as a First Language The Winchester School, Dubai

Ishita Sharma 11G

Argumentative writing: Humans are a peaceful species at heart How far do you agree?

Are humans a peaceful species at heart? Its a difficult task to pick a clear side but many people have
many opinions. There are various people who will say yes, humans are a peaceful species at heart but there
are equally many people who would say no. After all, it is a broad topic concerning an unpredictable species.
One strong argument in support of this statement would be that if we werent a peaceful species how would
we co-exist in such a large population in places like mega cities. Furthermore, criminals exist in a minority,
how can that tip the scales and make us think that we are a violent species. Also, if we were so violent, why
would we organize charities for people we dont even know? Why would donations exist? If we were not
cooperative how would generations of scientists from all over the world discover things such as the atom,
medicines etc. The counter-argument to that would be that we could just be cooperating for selfish reasons
or from fear of justice.
There are many who are against this statement and have just as many points to justify their opinion. The
most important point is that if we were so peaceful, why are there such things as wars? A minority of
criminals, which is slowly rising, have the ability to kill innocent people, are they not humans too? Why is it
that weapons such as guns which were invented to protect the innocent, are now being used to kill them?
Terrorism and racism, in other words hatred, have consumed many defenceless beings. It is in human
nature in fact, to be aggressive. In our history, there have been massive blood baths for selfish reasons such
as a quest for power and even natural resources. We are the reason that the Earth may suffer another Ice
Age as we are destroying it on a daily basis. Could it not be that it is a fear of being reprimanded that
makes us behave like civil people? After all, just 3000 years or so ago, we were barbarians who fought over
land and food, and it seems we continue to do so.
In conclusion, after weighing up the arguments, I feel that I am against this statement. Humans are not
peaceful as it is not even in our nature to be so. We are the cause of many epidemics and in the end we are
the ones who destroy each other and everything around us whether it is for selfish purposes or justice. After
all, there is no justification for violence, destruction and of course, selfishness.

Overall, this essay scores an A grade. Ishita has followed the structure we discussed in class: clear
introduction, followed by argument, counterargument and a conclusion. She has points for and against the
topic indicating that she has considered both sides of the argument and is aware of what the proponents
and opponents of the statement believe. She has used a few rhetorical questions for emphasis always a
good strategy. Her conclusion was sound: she states her opinion after presenting us with her main reason
why she believes humans arent a peaceful species at heart. Her sentences are grammatically correct and
she makes her points succinctly with a confident economy of words. She could score a higher grade if she
focused a little more on elaborating her points for/against. Using a more varied vocabulary would add an
extra dimension to her writing and drive home her points all the more effectively. Mr. Roberts

Comment: Introductory paragraph.

Explains the fact that this is a complex
topics towards which people have
differing opinions.
Comment: Reason 1. Argument for
Comment: Good example of
connective adverb to develop reason 1.
Comment: Reason 2

Comment: Bridge sentence, indicating

that she is now moving on to the reasons
against the topic
Comment: Argument sections. Reasons
for.
Comment: Use of rhetorical questions
to bring the reader over to her viewpoint.

Comment: Counter argument section.

Reasons against.

Comment: Conclusion section of the

essay. She states her opinion and
reiterated the main reason why she
doesnt believe humans are a peaceful
species at heart.