subterraneanpress.

com
http://subterraneanpress.com/magazine/fall_2013/the_truth_of_fact_the_truth_of_feeling_by_ted_chiang

TheTruthofFact,theTruthofFeelingbyTedChiang
SubterraneanPressMagazine:Fall2013
WhenmydaughterNicolewasaninfant,Ireadanessaysuggestingthatitmightnolongerbenecessaryto
teachchildrenhowtoreadorwrite,becausespeechrecognitionandsynthesiswouldsoonrenderthose
abilitiessuperfluous.MywifeandIwerehorrifiedbytheidea,andweresolvedthat,nomatterhow
sophisticatedtechnologybecame,ourdaughtersskillswouldalwaysrestonthebedrockoftraditionalliteracy.
Itturnedoutthatweandtheessayistwerebothhalfcorrect:nowthatshesanadult,Nicolecanreadaswell
asIcan.Butthereisasenseinwhichshehaslosttheabilitytowrite.Shedoesntdictatehermessagesand
askavirtualsecretarytoreadbacktoherwhatshelastsaid,thewaythatessayistpredictedNicole
subvocalizes,herretinalprojectordisplaysthewordsinherfieldofvision,andshemakesrevisionsusinga
combinationofgesturesandeyemovements.Forallpracticalpurposes,shecanwrite.Buttakeawaythe
assistivesoftwareandgivehernothingbutakeyboardliketheoneIremainfaithfulto,andshedhave
difficultyspellingoutmanyofthewordsinthisverysentence.Underthosespecificcircumstances,English
becomesabitlikeasecondlanguagetoher,onethatshecanspeakfluentlybutcanonlybarelywrite.
ItmaysoundlikeImdisappointedinNicolesintellectualachievements,butthatsabsolutelynotthecase.
Shessmartanddedicatedtoherjobatanartmuseumwhenshecouldbeearningmoremoneyelsewhere,
andIvealwaysbeenproudofheraccomplishments.Butthereisstillthepastmewhowouldhavebeen
appalledtoseehisdaughterloseherabilitytospell,andIcantdenythatIamcontinuouswithhim.
ItsbeenmorethantwentyyearssinceIreadthatessay,andinthatperiodourliveshaveundergone
countlesschangesthatIcouldnthavepredicted.ThemostcatastrophiconewaswhenNicolesmother
Angeladeclaredthatshedeservedamoreinterestinglifethantheoneweweregivingher,andspentthenext
decadecriss-crossingtheglobe.ButthechangesleadingtoNicolescurrentformofliteracyweremore
ordinaryandgradual:asuccessionofsoftwaregadgetsthatnotonlypromisedbutinfactdeliveredutilityand
convenience,andIdidntobjecttoanyofthematthetimesoftheirintroduction.
SoithasntbeenmyhabittoengageindoomsayingwheneveranewproductisannouncedIvewelcomed
newtechnologyasmuchasanyone.ButwhenWhetstonereleaseditsnewsearchtoolRemem,itraised
concernsformeinawaynoneofitspredecessorsdid.
Millionsofpeople,somemyagebutmostyounger,havebeenkeepinglifelogsforyears,wearingpersonal
camsthatcapturecontinuousvideooftheirentirelives.Peopleconsulttheirlifelogsforavarietyofreasons
everythingfromrelivingfavoritemomentstotrackingdownthecauseofallergicreactionsbutonly
intermittentlynoonewantstospendalltheirtimeformulatingqueriesandsiftingthroughtheresults.Lifelogs
arethemostcompletephotoalbumimaginable,butlikemostphotoalbums,theyliedormantexcepton
specialoccasions.NowWhetstoneaimstochangeallofthattheyclaimRememsalgorithmscansearchthe
entirehaystackbythetimeyouvefinishedsayingneedle.
Rememmonitorsyourconversationforreferencestopastevents,andthendisplaysvideoofthateventinthe
lowerleftcornerofyourfieldofvision.Ifyousayrememberdancingthecongaatthatwedding?,Rememwill
bringupthevideo.Ifthepersonyouretalkingtosaysthelasttimewewereatthebeach,Rememwillbring
upthevideo.AnditsnotonlyforusewhenspeakingwithsomeoneelseRememalsomonitorsyour

subvocalizations.IfyoureadthewordsthefirstSzechuanrestaurantyouateat,yourvocalcordswillmove
asifyourereadingaloud,andRememwillbringuptherelevantvideo.
TheresnodenyingtheusefulnessofsoftwarethatcanactuallyanswerthequestionwheredidIputmy
keys?ButWhetstoneispositioningRememasmorethanahandyvirtualassistant:theywantittotakethe
placeofyournaturalmemory.
#
ItwasthesummerofJijingisthirteenthyearwhenaEuropeancametoliveinthevillage.Thedusty
harmattanwindshadjustbegunblowingfromthenorthwhenSabe,theelderwhowasregardedaschiefby
allthelocalfamilies,madetheannouncement.
Everyonesinitialreactionwasalarm,ofcourse.Whathavewedonewrong?JijingisfatheraskedSabe.
EuropeanshadfirstcometoTivlandmanyyearsago,andwhilesomeelderssaidonedaytheydleaveand
lifewouldreturntothewaysofthepast,untilthatdayarriveditwasnecessaryfortheTivtogetalongwith
them.ThishadmeantmanychangesinthewaytheTivdidthings,butithadnevermeantEuropeansliving
amongthembefore.TheusualreasonforEuropeanstocometothevillagewastocollecttaxesfortheroads
theyhadbuilttheyvisitedsomeclansmoreoftenbecausethepeoplerefusedtopaytaxes,butthathadnt
happenedintheShangevclan.Sabeandtheotherclaneldershadagreedthatpayingthetaxeswasthebest
strategy.
Sabetoldeveryonenottoworry.ThisEuropeanisamissionarythatmeansallhedoesispray.Hehasno
authoritytopunishus,butourmakinghimwelcomewillpleasethemenintheadministration.
Heorderedtwohutsbuiltforthemissionary,asleepinghutandareceptionhut.Overthecourseofthenext
severaldayseveryonetooktimeofffromharvestingtheguinea-corntohelplaybricks,sinkpostsintothe
ground,weavegrassintothatchfortheroof.Itwasduringthefinalstep,poundingthefloor,thatthe
missionaryarrived.Hisportersappearedfirst,theboxestheycarriedvisiblefromadistanceastheythreaded
theirwaybetweenthecassavafieldsthemissionaryhimselfwasthelasttoappear,apparentlyexhausted
eventhoughhecarriednothing.HisnamewasMoseby,andhethankedeveryonewhohadworkedonthe
huts.Hetriedtohelp,butitquicklybecameclearthathedidntknowhowtodoanything,soeventuallyhejust
satintheshadeofalocustbeantreeandwipedhisheadwithapieceofcloth.
Jijingiwatchedthemissionarywithcuriosity.Themanopenedoneofhisboxesandtookoutwhatatfirst
lookedlikeablockofwood,butthenhesplititopenandJijingirealizeditwasatightlyboundsheafofpapers.
JijingihadseenpaperbeforewhentheEuropeanscollectedtaxes,theygavepaperinreturnsothatthe
villagehadproofofwhattheydpaid.Butthepaperthatthemissionarywaslookingatwasobviouslyofa
differentsort,andmusthavehadsomeotherpurpose.
ThemannoticedJijingilookingathim,andinvitedhimtocomecloser.MynameisMoseby,hesaid.Whatis
yourname?
IamJijingi,andmyfatherisOrgaoftheShangevclan.
Mosebyspreadopenthesheafofpaperandgesturedtowardit.HaveyouheardthestoryofAdam?he
asked.Adamwasthefirstman.WeareallchildrenofAdam.
HerewearedescendantsofShangev,saidJijingi.AndeveryoneinTivlandisadescendantofTiv.

Yes,butyourancestorTivwasdescendedfromAdam,justasmyancestorswere.Weareallbrothers.Do
youunderstand?
Themissionaryspokeasifhistongueweretoolargeforhismouth,butJijingicouldtellwhathewassaying.
Yes,Iunderstand.
Mosebysmiled,andpointedatthepaper.ThispapertellsthestoryofAdam.
Howcanpapertellastory?
ItisanartthatweEuropeansknow.Whenamanspeaks,wemakemarksonthepaper.Whenanotherman
looksatthepaperlater,heseesthemarksandknowswhatsoundsthefirstmanmade.Inthatwaythe
secondmancanhearwhatthefirstmansaid.
JijingirememberedsomethinghisfatherhadtoldhimaboutoldGbegba,whowasthemostskilledin
bushcraft.WhereyouorIwouldseenothingbutsomedisturbedgrass,hecanseethataleopardhadkilleda
caneratatthatspotandcarrieditoff,hisfathersaid.Gbegbawasabletolookatthegroundandknowwhat
hadhappenedeventhoughhehadnotbeenpresent.ThisartoftheEuropeansmustbesimilar:thosewho
wereskilledininterpretingthemarkscouldhearastoryeveniftheyhadntbeentherewhenitwastold.
Tellmethestorythatthepapertells,hesaid.
MosebytoldhimastoryaboutAdamandhiswifebeingtrickedbyasnake.ThenheaskedJijingi,Howdo
youlikeit?
Youreapoorstoryteller,butthestorywasinterestingenough.
Mosebylaughed.Youareright,IamnotgoodattheTivlanguage.Butthisisagoodstory.Itistheoldest
storywehave.ItwasfirsttoldlongbeforeyourancestorTivwasborn.
Jijingiwasdubious.Thatpapercantbesoold.
No,thispaperisnot.Butthemarksonitwerecopiedfromolderpaper.Andthosemarkswerecopiedfrom
olderpaper.Andsoforthmanytimes.
Thatwouldbeimpressive,iftrue.Jijingilikedstories,andolderstorieswereoftenthebest.Howmanystories
doyouhavethere?
Verymany.Mosebyflippedthroughthesheafofpapers,andJijingicouldseeeachsheetwascoveredwith
marksfromedgetoedgetheremustbemany,manystoriesthere.
Thisartyouspokeof,interpretingmarksonpaperisitonlyforEuropeans?
No,Icanteachittoyou.Wouldyoulikethat?
Cautiously,Jijinginodded.
#
Asajournalist,Ihavelongappreciatedtheusefulnessoflifeloggingfordeterminingthefactsofthematter.
Thereisscarcelyalegalproceeding,criminalorcivil,thatdoesntmakeuseofsomeoneslifelog,andrightly
so.Whenthepublicinterestisinvolved,findingoutwhatactuallyhappenedisimportantjusticeisanessential
partofthesocialcontract,andyoucanthavejusticeuntilyouknowthetruth.

However,Ivebeenmuchmoreskepticalabouttheuseoflifelogginginpurelypersonalsituations.When
lifeloggingfirstbecamepopular,therewerecoupleswhothoughttheycoulduseittosettleargumentsover
whohadactuallysaidwhat,usingthevideorecordtoprovetheywereright.Butfindingtherightclipofvideo
oftenwasnteasy,andallbutthemostdeterminedgaveupondoingso.Theinconvenienceactedasa
barrier,limitingthesearchingoflifelogstothosesituationsinwhicheffortwaswarranted,namelysituationsin
whichjusticewasthemotivatingfactor.
NowwithRemem,findingtheexactmomenthasbecomeeasy,andlifelogsthatpreviouslylayallbutignored
arenowbeingscrutinizedasiftheywerecrimescenes,thicklystrewnwithevidenceforuseindomestic
squabbles.
Itypicallywriteforthenewssection,butIvewrittenfeaturestoriesaswell,andsowhenIpitchedanarticle
aboutthepotentialdownsidesofRememtomymanagingeditor,hegavemethego-ahead.Myfirstinterview
waswithamarriedcouplewhomIllcallJoelandDeirdre,anarchitectandapainter,respectively.Itwasnt
hardtogetthemtalkingaboutRemem.
Joelisalwayssayingthatheknewitallalong,saidDeirdre,evenwhenhedidnt.Itusedtodrivemecrazy,
becauseIcouldntgethimtoadmitheusedtobelievesomethingelse.NowIcan.Forexample,recentlywe
weretalkingabouttheMcKittridgekidnappingcase.
ShesentmethevideoofoneargumentshehadwithJoel.Myretinalprojectordisplayedfootageofacocktail
partyitsfromDeirdrespointofview,andJoelistellinganumberofpeople,Itwasprettyclearthathewas
guiltyfromthedayhewasarrested.
Deirdresvoice:Youdidntalwaysthinkthat.Formonthsyouarguedthathewasinnocent.
Joelshakeshishead.No,youremisremembering.Isaidthatevenpeoplewhoareobviouslyguiltydeservea
fairtrial.
Thatsnotwhatyousaid.Yousaidhewasbeingrailroaded.
Yourethinkingofsomeoneelsethatwasntme.
No,itwasyou.Look.Aseparatevideowindowopenedup,anexcerptofherlifelogthatshelookedupand
broadcasttothepeopletheyvebeentalkingwith.Withinthenestedvideo,JoelandDeirdrearesittingina
caf,andJoelissaying,Hesascapegoat.Thepoliceneededtoreassurethepublic,sotheyarresteda
convenientsuspect.Nowhesdonefor.Deidrereplies,Youdontthinktheresanychanceofhimbeing
acquitted?andJoelanswers,Notunlesshecanaffordahigh-powereddefenseteam,andIllbetyouhe
cant.Peopleinhispositionwillnevergetafairtrial.
Iclosedbothwindows,andDeirdresaid,WithoutRemem,Idneverbeabletoconvincehimthathechanged
hisposition.NowIhaveproof.
Fine,youwererightthattime,saidJoel.Butyoudidnthavetodothatinfrontofourfriends.
Youcorrectmeinfrontofourfriendsallthetime.YouretellingmeIcantdothesame?
Herewasthelineatwhichthepursuitoftruthceasedtobeanintrinsicgood.Whentheonlypersonsaffected
haveapersonalrelationshipwitheachother,otherprioritiesareoftenmoreimportant,andaforensicpursuit
ofthetruthcouldbeharmful.Diditreallymatterwhoseideaitwastotakethevacationthatturnedoutso
disastrously?Didyouneedtoknowwhichpartnerwasmoreforgetfulaboutcompletingerrandstheother

personaskedofthem?Iwasnoexpertonmarriage,butIknewwhatmarriagecounselorssaid:pinpointing
blamewasnttheanswer.Instead,couplesneededtoacknowledgeeachothersfeelingsandaddresstheir
problemsasateam.
NextIspokewithaspokespersonfromWhetstone,EricaMeyers.Forawhileshegavemeatypically
corporatespielaboutthebenefitsofRemem.Makinginformationmoreaccessibleisanintrinsicgood,she
says.Ubiquitousvideohasrevolutionizedlawenforcement.Businessesbecomemoreeffectivewhenthey
adoptgoodrecord-keepingpractices.Thesamethinghappenstousasindividualswhenourmemories
becomemoreaccurate:wegetbetter,notjustatdoingourjobs,butatlivingourlives.
WhenIaskedheraboutcoupleslikeJoelandDeirdre,shesaid,Ifyourmarriageissolid,Rememisntgoing
tohurtit.Butifyourethetypeofpersonwhosconstantlytryingtoprovethatyourerightandyourspouseis
wrong,thenyourmarriageisgoingtobeintroublewhetheryouuseRememornot.
Iconcededthatshemayhavehadapointinthisparticularcase.But,Iaskedher,didntshethinkRemem
createdgreateropportunitiesforthosetypesofargumentstoarise,eveninsolidmarriages,bymakingit
easierforpeopletokeepscore?
Notatall,shesaid.Rememdidntgivethemascorekeepingmentalitytheydevelopedthatontheirown.
AnothercouplecouldjustaseasilyuseRememtorealizethattheyvebothmisrememberedthings,and
becomemoreforgivingwhenthatsortofmistakehappens.Ipredictthelatterscenariowillbethemore
commononewithourcustomersasawhole.
IwishedIcouldshareEricaMeyersoptimism,butIknewthatnewtechnologydidntalwaysbringoutthebest
inpeople.Whohasntwishedtheycouldprovethattheirversionofeventswasthecorrectone?Icouldeasily
seemyselfusingRememthewayDeirdredid,andIwasntatallcertainthatdoingsowouldbegoodforme.
Anyonewhohaswastedhourssurfingtheinternetknowsthattechnologycanencouragebadhabits.
#
Mosebygaveasermoneverysevendays,onthedaydevotedtorestingandbrewinganddrinkingbeer.He
seemedtodisapproveofthebeerdrinking,buthedidntwanttospeakononeofthedaysofwork,sotheday
ofbeerbrewingwastheonlyoneleft.HetalkedabouttheEuropeangod,andtoldpeoplethatfollowinghis
ruleswouldimprovetheirlives,buthisexplanationsofhowthatwoulddosowerentparticularlypersuasive.
ButMosebyalsohadsomeskillatdispensingmedicine,andhewaswillingtolearnhowtoworkinthefields,
sograduallypeoplegrewmoreacceptingofhim,andJijingisfatherlethimvisitMosebyoccasionallytolearn
theartofwriting.Mosebyofferedtoteachtheotherchildrenaswell,andforatimeJijingisage-matescame
along,mostlytoprovetoeachotherthattheywerentafraidofbeingnearaEuropean.Beforelongtheother
boysgrewboredandleft,butbecauseJijingiremainedinterestedinwritingandhisfatherthoughtitwould
keeptheEuropeanshappy,hewaseventuallypermittedtogoeveryday.
MosebyexplainedtoJijingihoweachsoundapersonspokecouldbeindicatedwithdifferentmarksonthe
paper.Themarkswerearrangedinrowslikeplantsinafieldyoulookedatthemarksasifyouwerewalking
downarow,madethesoundeachmarkindicated,andyouwouldfindyourselfspeakingwhattheoriginal
personhadsaid.Mosebyshowedhimhowtomakeeachofthedifferentmarksonasheetofpaper,usinga
tinywoodenrodthathadacoreofsoot.
Inatypicallesson,Mosebywouldspeak,andthenwritewhathehadsaid:WhennightcomesIshallsleep.
Tughmbaaileyomeyav.Therearetwopersons.Ioruvmbanmbauhar.Jijingicarefullycopiedthewriting
onhissheetofpaper,andwhenhewasdone,Mosebywouldlookatit.

Verygood.Butyouneedtoleavespaceswhenyouwrite.
Ihave.Jijingipointedatthegapbetweeneachrow.
No,thatisnotwhatImean.Doyouseethespaceswithineachline?Hepointedathisownpaper.
Jijingiunderstood.Yourmarksareclumpedtogether,whileminearearrangedevenly.
Thesearenotjustclumpsofmarks.TheyareIdonotknowwhatyoucallthem.Hepickedupathinsheaf
ofpaperfromhistableandflippedthroughit.Idonotseeithere.WhereIcomefrom,wecallthemwords.
Whenwewrite,weleavespacesbetweenthewords.
Butwhatarewords?
HowcanIexplainit?Hethoughtamoment.Ifyouspeakslowly,youpauseverybrieflyaftereachword.
Thatswhyweleaveaspaceinthoseplaceswhenwewrite.Likethis:How.Many.Years.Old.Are.You?He
wroteonhispaperashespoke,leavingaspaceeverytimehepaused:Anyomaoukumaame?
Butyouspeakslowlybecauseyoureaforeigner.ImTiv,soIdontpausewhenIspeak.Shouldntmywriting
bethesame?
Itdoesnotmatterhowfastyouspeak.Wordsarethesamewhetheryouspeakquicklyorslowly.
Thenwhydidyousayyoupauseaftereachword?
Thatistheeasiestwaytofindthem.Trysayingthisveryslowly.Hepointedatwhathedjustwritten.
Jijingispokeveryslowly,thewayamanmightwhentryingtohidehisdrunkenness.Whyistherenospacein
betweenanandyom?
Anyomisoneword.Youdonotpauseinthemiddleofit.
ButIwouldntpauseafteranyomeither.
Mosebysighed.IwillthinkmoreabouthowtoexplainwhatImean.Fornow,justleavespacesintheplaces
whereIleavespaces.
Whatastrangeartwritingwas.Whensowingafield,itwasbesttohavetheseedyamsspacedevenly
JijingisfatherwouldhavebeatenhimifhedclumpedtheyamsthewaytheMosebyclumpedhismarkson
paper.Buthehadresolvedtolearnthisartasbesthecould,andifthatmeantclumpinghismarks,hewould
doso.
ItwasonlymanylessonslaterthatJijingifinallyunderstoodwhereheshouldleavespaces,andwhatMoseby
meantwhenhesaidword.Youcouldnotfindtheplaceswherewordsbeganandendedbylistening.The
soundsapersonmadewhilespeakingwereassmoothandunbrokenasthehideofagoatsleg,butthe
wordswerelikethebonesunderneaththemeat,andthespacebetweenthemwasthejointwhereyoudcutif
youwantedtoseparateitintopieces.Byleavingspaceswhenhewrote,Mosebywasmakingvisiblethe
bonesinwhathesaid.
Jijingirealizedthat,ifhethoughthardaboutit,hewasnowabletoidentifythewordswhenpeoplespokeinan
ordinaryconversation.Thesoundsthatcamefromapersonsmouthhadntchanged,butheunderstoodthem
differentlyhewasawareofthepiecesfromwhichthewholewasmade.Hehimselfhadbeenspeakingin

wordsallalong.Hejusthadntknownituntilnow.
#
TheeaseofsearchingthatRememprovidesisimpressiveenough,butthatmerelyscratchesthesurfaceof
whatWhetstoneseesastheproductspotential.WhenDeirdrefact-checkedherhusbandsprevious
statements,shewasposingexplicitqueriestoRemem.ButWhetstoneexpectsthat,aspeoplebecome
accustomedtotheirproduct,querieswilltaketheplaceofordinaryactsofrecall,andRememwillbe
integratedintotheirverythoughtprocesses.Oncethathappens,wewillbecomecognitivecyborgs,effectively
incapableofmisrememberinganythingdigitalvideostoredonerror-correctedsiliconwilltakeovertherole
oncefilledbyourfallibletemporallobes.
Whatmightitbeliketohaveaperfectmemory?Arguablytheindividualwiththebestmemoryever
documentedwasSolomonShereshevskii,wholivedinRussiaduringthefirsthalfofthetwentiethcentury.The
psychologistswhotestedhimfoundthathecouldhearaseriesofwordsornumbersonceandrememberit
monthsorevenyearslater.WithnoknowledgeofItalian,ShereshevskiiwasabletoquotestanzasofThe
DivineComedythathadbeenreadtohimfifteenyearsearlier.
Buthavingaperfectmemorywasnttheblessingonemightimagineittobe.Readingapassageoftext
evokedsomanyimagesinShereshevskiismindthatheoftencouldntfocusonwhatitactuallysaid,andhis
awarenessofinnumerablespecificexamplesmadeitdifficultforhimtounderstandabstractconcepts.At
times,hetriedtodeliberatelyforgetthings.Hewrotedownnumbershenolongerwantedtorememberon
slipsofpaperandthenburntthem,akindofslash-and-burnapproachtoclearingouttheundergrowthofhis
mind,buttonoavail.
WhenIraisedthepossibilitythataperfectmemorymightbeahandicaptoWhetstonesspokesperson,Erica
Meyers,shehadareadyreply.Thisisnodifferentfromtheconcernspeopleusedtohaveaboutretinal
projectors,shesaid.Theyworriedthatseeingupdatesconstantlywouldbedistractingoroverwhelming,but
wevealladaptedtothem.
Ididntmentionthatnoteveryoneconsideredthatapositivedevelopment.
AndRememisentirelycustomizable,shecontinued.Ifatanytimeyoufinditsdoingtoomanysearchesfor
yourneeds,youcandecreaseitslevelofresponsiveness.Butaccordingtoourcustomeranalytics,ourusers
haventbeendoingthat.Astheybecomemorecomfortablewithit,theyrefindingthatRemembecomesmore
helpfulthemoreresponsiveitis.
ButevenifRememwasntconstantlycrowdingyourfieldofvisionwithunwantedimageryofthepast,I
wonderediftherewerentissuesraisedsimplybyhavingthatimagerybeperfect.
Forgiveandforgetgoestheexpression,andforouridealizedmagnanimousselves,thatwasallyou
needed.Butforouractualselvestherelationshipbetweenthosetwoactionswasntsostraightforward.In
mostcaseswehadtoforgetalittlebitbeforewecouldforgivewhenwenolongerexperiencedthepainas
fresh,theinsultwaseasiertoforgive,whichinturnmadeitlessmemorable,andsoon.Itwasthis
psychologicalfeedbackloopthatmadeinitiallyinfuriatingoffencesseempardonableinthemirrorofhindsight.
WhatIfearedwasthatRememwouldmakeitimpossibleforthisfeedbacklooptogetrolling.Byfixingevery
detailofaninsultinindeliblevideo,itcouldpreventthesofteningthatsneededforforgivenesstobegin.I
thoughtbacktowhatEricaMeyerssaidaboutRememsinabilitytohurtsolidmarriages.Implicitinthat
assertionwasaclaimaboutwhatqualifiedasasolidmarriage.Ifsomeonesmarriagewasbuiltonasironic
asitmightsoundacornerstoneofforgetfulness,whatrightdidWhetstonehavetoshatterthat?

Theissuewasntconfinedtomarriagesallsortsofrelationshipsrelyonforgivingandforgetting.Mydaughter
Nicolehasalwaysbeenstrong-willedrambunctiouswhenshewasachild,openlydefiantasanadolescent.
SheandIhadmanyfuriousargumentsduringherteenyears,argumentsthatwehavemostlybeenableto
putbehindus,andnowourrelationshipisprettygood.IfwedhadRemem,wouldwestillbespeakingtoeach
other?
Idontmeantosaythatforgettingistheonlywaytomendrelationships.WhileIcannolongerrecallmostof
theargumentsNicoleandIhadandImgratefulthatIcantoneoftheargumentsIrememberclearlyis
onethatspurredmetobeabetterfather.
ItwaswhenNicolewassixteen,ajuniorinhighschool.IthadbeentwoyearssincehermotherAngelahad
left,probablythetwohardestyearsofbothourlives.Idontrememberwhatstartedtheargumentsomething
trivial,nodoubtbutitescalatedandbeforelongNicolewastakingherangeratAngelaoutonme.
Yourethereasonsheleft!Youdroveheraway!Youcanleavetoo,forallIcare.Isureashellwouldbebetter
offwithoutyou.Andtodemonstrateherpoint,shestormedoutofthehouse.
IknewitwasntpremeditatedmaliceonherpartIdontthinksheengagedinmuchpremeditationinanything
duringthatphaseofherlifebutshecouldnthavecomeupwithamorehurtfulaccusationifshedtried.Id
beendevastatedbyAngelasdeparture,andIwasconstantlywonderingwhatIcouldhavedonedifferentlyto
keepher.
Nicoledidntcomebackuntilthenextday,andthatnightwasoneofsoulsearchingforme.WhileIdidnt
believeIwasresponsibleforhermotherleavingus,Nicolesaccusationstillservedasawake-upcall.Ihadnt
beenconsciousofit,butIrealizedthatIhadbeenthinkingofmyselfasthegreatestvictimofAngelas
departure,wallowinginself-pityoverjusthowunreasonablemysituationwas.Ithadntevenbeenmyideato
havechildrenitwasAngelawhodwantedtobeaparent,andnowshehadleftmeholdingthebag.What
saneworldwouldleavemewithsoleresponsibilityforraisinganadolescentgirl?Howcouldajobthatwasso
difficultbeentrustedtosomeonewithnoexperiencewhatsoever?
Nicolesaccusationmademerealizeherpredicamentwasworsethanmine.AtleastIhadvolunteeredforthis
duty,albeitlongagoandwithoutfullappreciationforwhatIwasgettinginto.Nicolehadbeendraftedintoher
role,withnosaywhatsoever.Iftherewasanyonewhohadarighttoberesentful,itwasher.AndwhileI
thoughtIdbeendoingagoodjobofbeingafather,obviouslyIneededtodobetter.
Iturnedmyselfaround.Ourrelationshipdidntimproveovernight,butovertheyearsIwasabletoworkmyself
backintoNicolesgoodgraces.Irememberthewayshehuggedmeathercollegegraduation,andIrealized
myyearsofefforthadpaidoff.
WouldthoseyearsofrepairhavebeenpossiblewithRemem?Evenifeachofuscouldhaverefrainedfrom
throwingtheothersbadbehaviorintheirfaces,theopportunitytoprivatelyrewatchvideoofourarguments
seemslikeitcouldbepernicious.VividremindersofthewaysheandIyelledateachotherinthepastmight
havekeptourangerfresh,andpreventedusfromrebuildingourrelationship.
#
JijingiwantedtowritedownsomeofthestoriesofwheretheTivpeoplecamefrom,butthestorytellersspoke
rapidly,andhewasntabletowritefastenoughtokeepupwiththem.Mosebysaidhewouldgetbetterwith
practice,butJijingidespairedthathedeverbecomefastenough.
Then,onesummeraEuropeanwomannamedReisscametovisitthevillage.Mosebysaidshewasaperson

wholearnsaboutotherpeoplebutcouldnotexplainwhatthatmeant,onlythatshewantedtolearnabout
Tivland.Sheaskedquestionsofeveryone,notjusttheeldersbutyoungmen,too,evenwomenandchildren,
andshewrotedowneverythingtheytoldher.ShedidnttrytogetanyonetoadoptEuropeanpracticeswhere
MosebyhadinsistedthattherewerenosuchthingascursesandthateverythingwasGodswill,Reissasked
abouthowcursesworked,andlistenedattentivelytoexplanationsofhowyourkinonyourfatherssidecould
curseyouwhileyourkinonyourmotherssidecouldprotectyoufromcurses.
OneeveningKokwa,thebeststorytellerinthevillage,toldthestoryofhowtheTivpeoplesplitintodifferent
lineages,andReisshadwrittenitdownexactlyashetoldit.Latershehadrecopiedthestoryusingamachine
shepokedatnoisilywithherfingers,sothatshehadacopythatwascleanandeasytoread.WhenJijingi
askedifshewouldmakeanothercopyforhim,sheagreed,muchtohisexcitement.
Thepaperversionofthestorywascuriouslydisappointing.Jijingirememberedthatwhenhehadfirstlearned
aboutwriting,hedimagineditwouldenablehimtoseeastorytellingperformanceasvividlyasifhewere
there.Butwritingdidntdothat.WhenKokwatoldthestory,hedidntmerelyusewordsheusedthesoundof
hisvoice,themovementofhishands,thelightinhiseyes.Hetoldyouthestorywithhiswholebody,andyou
understooditthesameway.Noneofthatwascapturedonpaperonlythebarewordscouldbewrittendown.
AndreadingjustthewordsgaveyouonlyahintoftheexperienceoflisteningtoKokwahimself,asifonewere
lickingthepotinwhichokrahadbeencookedinsteadofeatingtheokraitself.
Jijingiwasstillgladtohavethepaperversion,andwouldreaditfromtimetotime.Itwasagoodstory,worthy
ofbeingrecordedonpaper.Noteverythingwrittenonpaperwassoworthy.DuringhissermonsMoseby
wouldreadaloudstoriesfromhisbook,andtheywereoftengoodstories,buthealsoreadaloudwordshe
hadwrittendownjustafewdaysbefore,andthosewereoftennotstoriesatall,merelyclaimsthatlearning
moreabouttheEuropeangodwouldimprovethelivesoftheTivpeople.
Oneday,whenMosebyhadbeeneloquent,Jijingicomplimentedhim.Iknowyouthinkhighlyofallyour
sermons,buttodayssermonwasagoodone.
Thankyou,saidMoseby,smiling.Afteramoment,heasked,WhydoyousayIthinkhighlyofallmy
sermons?
Becauseyouexpectthatpeoplewillwanttoreadthemmanyyearsfromnow.
Idontexpectthat.Whatmakesyouthinkthat?
Youwritethemalldownbeforeyouevendeliverthem.Beforeevenonepersonhasheardasermon,you
havewrittenitdownforfuturegenerations.
Mosebylaughed.No,thatisnotwhyIwritethemdown.
Why,then?Heknewitwasntforpeoplefarawaytoreadthem,becausesometimesmessengerscameto
thevillagetodeliverpapertoMoseby,andheneversenthissermonsbackwiththem.
IwritethewordsdownsoIdonotforgetwhatIwanttosaywhenIgivethesermon.
Howcouldyouforgetwhatyouwanttosay?YouandIarespeakingrightnow,andneitherofusneedspaper
todoso.
Asermonisdifferentfromconversation.Mosebypausedtoconsider.IwanttobesureIgivemysermons
aswellaspossible.IwontforgetwhatIwanttosay,butImightforgetthebestwaytosayit.IfIwriteitdown,

Idonthavetoworry.Butwritingthewordsdowndoesmorethanhelpmeremember.Ithelpsmethink.
Howdoeswritinghelpyouthink?
Thatisagoodquestion,hesaid.Itisstrange,isntit?Idonotknowhowtoexplainit,butwritinghelpsme
decidewhatIwanttosay.WhereIcomefrom,theresaveryoldproverb:verbavolant,scriptamanent.InTiv
youwouldsay,spokenwordsflyaway,writtenwordsremain.Doesthatmakesense?
Yes,Jijingisaid,justtobepoliteitmadenosenseatall.Themissionarywasntoldenoughtobesenile,but
hismemorymustbeterribleandhedidntwanttoadmitit.Jijingitoldhisage-matesaboutthis,andtheyjoked
aboutitamongstthemselvesfordays.Whenevertheyexchangedgossip,theywouldadd,Willyouremember
that?Thiswillhelpyou,andmimicMosebywritingathistable.
Onaneveningthefollowingyear,KokwaannouncedhewouldtellthestoryofhowtheTivsplitintodifferent
lineages.Jijingibroughtoutthepaperversionhehad,sohecouldreadthestoryatthesametimeKokwatold
it.Sometimeshecouldfollowalong,butitwasoftenconfusingbecauseKokwaswordsdidntmatchwhatwas
writtenonthepaper.AfterKokwawasfinished,Jijingisaidtohim,Youdidnttellthestorythesamewayyou
tolditlastyear.
Nonsense,saidKokwa.WhenItellastoryitdoesntchange,nomatterhowmuchtimepasses.Askmeto
tellittwentyyearsfromtoday,andIwilltellitexactlythesame.
Jijingipointedatthepaperheheld.Thispaperisthestoryyoutoldlastyear,andthereweremany
differences.Hepickedoneheremembered.Lasttimeyousaid,theUyengicapturedthewomenand
childrenandcarriedthemoffasslaves.Thistimeyousaid,theymadeslavesofthewomen,buttheydidnot
stopthere:theyevenmadeslavesofthechildren.
Thatsthesame.
Itisthesamestory,butyouvechangedthewayyoutellit.
No,saidKokwa,ItolditjustasItolditbefore.
Jijingididntwanttotrytoexplainwhatwordswere.Insteadhesaid,Ifyoutolditasyoudidbefore,youwould
saytheUyengicapturedthewomenandchildrenandcarriedthemoffasslaveseverytime.
ForamomentKokwastaredathim,andthenhelaughed.Isthiswhatyouthinkisimportant,nowthatyouve
learnedtheartofwriting?
Sabe,whohadbeenlisteningtothem,chidedKokwa.ItsnotyourplacetojudgeJijingi.Theharefavorsone
food,thehippofavorsanother.Leteachspendhistimeashepleases.
Ofcourse,Sabe,ofcourse,saidKokwa,buthethrewaderisiveglanceatJijingi.
Afterwards,JijingirememberedtheproverbMosebyhadmentioned.EventhoughKokwawastellingthesame
story,hemightarrangethewordsdifferentlyeachtimehetoldithewasskilledenoughasastorytellerthat
thearrangementofwordsdidntmatter.ItwasdifferentforMoseby,whoneveractedanythingoutwhenhe
gavehissermonsforhim,thewordswerewhatwasimportant.JijingirealizedthatMosebywrotedownhis
sermonsnotbecausehismemorywasterrible,butbecausehewaslookingforaspecificarrangementof
words.Oncehefoundtheonehewanted,hecouldholdontoitforaslongasheneeded.
Outofcuriosity,Jijingitriedimagininghehadtodeliverasermon,andbeganwritingdownwhathewouldsay.

SeatedontherootofamangotreewiththenotebookMosebyhadgivenhim,hecomposedasermonon
tsav,thequalitythatenabledsomementohavepoweroverothers,andasubjectwhichMosebyhadnt
understoodandhaddismissedasfoolishness.Hereadhisfirstattempttooneofhisage-mates,who
pronounceditterrible,leadingthemtohaveabriefshovingmatch,butafterwardsJijingihadtoadmithisagematewasright.Hetriedwritingouthissermonasecondtimeandthenathirdbeforehebecametiredofit
andmovedontoothertopics.
Ashepracticedhiswriting,JijingicametounderstandwhatMosebyhadmeantwritingwasnotjustawayto
recordwhatsomeonesaiditcouldhelpyoudecidewhatyouwouldsaybeforeyousaidit.Andwordswere
notjustthepiecesofspeakingtheywerethepiecesofthinking.Whenyouwrotethemdown,youcouldgrasp
yourthoughtslikebricksinyourhandsandpushthemintodifferentarrangements.Writingletyoulookatyour
thoughtsinawayyoucouldntifyouwerejusttalking,andhavingseenthem,youcouldimprovethem,make
themstrongerandmoreelaborate.
#
Psychologistsmakeadistinctionbetweensemanticmemoryknowledgeofgeneralfactsandepisodic
memoryrecollectionofpersonalexperiences.Wevebeenusingtechnologicalsupplementsforsemantic
memoryeversincetheinventionofwriting:firstbooks,thensearchengines.Bycontrast,wevehistorically
resistedsuchaidswhenitcomestoepisodicmemoryfewpeoplehaveeverkeptasmanydiariesorphoto
albumsastheydidordinarybooks.Theobviousreasonisconvenienceifwewantedabookonthebirdsof
NorthAmerica,wecouldconsultonethatanornithologisthaswritten,butifwewantedadailydiary,wehadto
writeitforourselves.ButIalsowonderifanotherreasonisthat,subconsciously,weregardedourepisodic
memoriesassuchanintegralpartofouridentitiesthatwewerereluctanttoexternalizethem,torelegate
themtobooksonashelforfilesonacomputer.
Thatmaybeabouttochange.Foryearsparentshavebeenrecordingtheirchildrenseverymoment,soeven
ifchildrenwerentwearingpersonalcams,theirlifelogswereeffectivelyalreadybeingcompiled.Nowparents
arehavingtheirchildrenwearretinalprojectorsatyoungerandyoungeragessotheycanreapthebenefitsof
assistivesoftwareagentssooner.ImaginewhatwillhappenifchildrenbeginusingRememtoaccessthose
lifelogs:theirmodeofcognitionwilldivergefromoursbecausetheactofrecallwillbedifferent.Ratherthan
thinkingofaneventfromherpastandseeingitwithhermindseye,achildwillsubvocalizeareferencetoit
andwatchvideofootagewithherphysicaleyes.Episodicmemorywillbecomeentirelytechnologically
mediated.
Anobviousdrawbacktosuchrelianceisthepossibilitythatpeoplemightbecomevirtualamnesiacswhenever
thesoftwarecrashes.Butjustasworryingtomeastheprospectoftechnologicalfailurewasthatof
technologicalsuccess:howwillitchangeapersonsconceptionofherselfwhenshesonlyseenherpast
throughtheunblinkingeyeofavideocamera?Justastheresafeedbackloopinsofteningharshmemories,
theresalsooneatworkintheromanticizationofchildhoodmemories,anddisruptingthatprocesswillhave
consequences.
TheearliestbirthdayIrememberismyfourthIrememberblowingoutthecandlesonmycake,thethrillof
tearingthewrappingpaperoffthepresents.Theresnovideooftheevent,buttherearesnapshotsinthe
familyalbum,andtheyareconsistentwithwhatIremember.Infact,IsuspectInolongerremembertheday
itself.ItsmorelikelythatImanufacturedthememorywhenIwasfirstshownthesnapshotsandovertime,Ive
imbueditwiththeemotionIimagineIfeltthatday.Littlebylittle,overrepeatedinstancesofrecall,Ivecreated
ahappymemoryformyself.
Anotherofmyearliestmemoriesisofplayingonthelivingroomrug,pushingtoycarsaround,whilemy

grandmotherworkedathersewingmachineshewouldoccasionallyturnandsmilewarmlyatme.Thereare
nophotosofthatmoment,soIknowtherecollectionismineandminealone.Itisalovely,idyllicmemory.
WouldIwanttobepresentedwithactualfootageofthatafternoon?Noabsolutelynot.
Regardingtheroleoftruthinautobiography,thecriticRoyPascalwrote,Ontheonesidearethetruthsof
fact,ontheotherthetruthofthewritersfeeling,andwherethetwocoincidecannotbedecidedbyany
outsideauthorityinadvance.Ourmemoriesareprivateautobiographies,andthatafternoonwithmy
grandmotherfeaturesprominentlyinminebecauseofthefeelingsassociatedwithit.Whatifvideofootage
revealedthatmygrandmotherssmilewasinfactperfunctory,thatshewasactuallyfrustratedbecauseher
sewingwasntgoingwell?WhatsimportanttomeaboutthatmemoryisthehappinessIassociatedwithit,
andIwouldntwantthatjeopardized.
Itseemedtomethatcontinuousvideoofmyentirechildhoodwouldbefulloffactsbutdevoidoffeeling,
simplybecausecamerascouldntcapturetheemotionaldimensionofevents.Asfarasthecamerawas
concerned,thatafternoonwithmygrandmotherwouldbeindistinguishablefromahundredothers.AndifId
grownupwithaccesstoallthevideofootage,theredhavebeennowayformetoassignmoreemotional
weighttoanyparticularday,nonucleusaroundwhichnostalgiacouldaccrete.
Andwhatwilltheconsequencesbewhenpeoplecanclaimtoremembertheirinfancy?Icouldreadilyimagine
asituationwhere,ifyouaskayoungpersonwhatherearliestmemoryis,shewillsimplylookbaffledafterall,
shehasvideodatingbacktothedayofherbirth.Theinabilitytorememberthefirstfewyearsofoneslife
whatpsychologistscallchildhoodamnesiamightsoonbeathingofthepast.Nomorewouldparentstell
theirchildrenanecdotesbeginningwiththewordsYoudontrememberthisbecauseyouwerejustatoddler
whenithappened.Itllbeasifchildhoodamnesiaisacharacteristicofhumanityschildhood,andinouroboric
fashion,ouryouthwillvanishfromourmemories.
Partofmewantedtostopthis,toprotectchildrensabilitytoseethebeginningoftheirlivesfilteredthrough
gauze,tokeepthoseoriginstoriesfrombeingreplacedbycold,desaturatedvideo.Butmaybetheywillfeel
justaswarmlyabouttheirlosslessdigitalmemoriesasIdoofmyimperfect,organicmemories.
Peoplearemadeofstories.Ourmemoriesarenottheimpartialaccumulationofeverysecondwevelived
theyrethenarrativethatweassembledoutofselectedmoments.Whichiswhy,evenwhenweve
experiencedthesameeventsasotherindividuals,weneverconstructedidenticalnarratives:thecriteriaused
forselectingmomentsweredifferentforeachofus,andareflectionofourpersonalities.Eachofusnoticed
thedetailsthatcaughtourattentionandrememberedwhatwasimportanttous,andthenarrativeswebuilt
shapedourpersonalitiesinturn.
But,Iwondered,ifeveryonerememberedeverything,wouldourdifferencesgetshavedaway?Whatwould
happentooursenseofselves?Itseemedtomethataperfectmemorycouldntbeanarrativeanymorethan
uneditedsecurity-camfootagecouldbeafeaturefilm.
#
WhenJijingiwastwenty,anofficerfromtheadministrationcametothevillagetospeakwithSabe.Hehad
broughtwithhimayoungTivmanwhohadattendedthemissionschoolinKatsina-Ala.Theadministration
wantedtohaveawrittenrecordofallthedisputesbroughtbeforethetribalcourts,sotheywereassigning
eachchiefoneoftheseyouthstoactasascribe.SabehadJijingicomeforward,andtotheofficerhesaid,I
knowyoudonthaveenoughscribesforallofTivland.Jijingiherehaslearnedtowritehecanactasour
scribe,andyoucansendyourboytoanothervillage.TheofficertestedJijingisabilitytowrite,butMoseby
hadtaughthimwell,andeventuallytheofficeragreedtohavehimbeSabesscribe.

Aftertheofficerhadleft,JijingiaskedSabewhyhehadntwantedtheboyfromKatsina-Alatobehisscribe.
Noonewhocomesfromthemissionschoolcanbetrusted,saidSabe.
Whynot?DidtheEuropeansmakethemliars?
Theyrepartlytoblame,butsoarewe.WhentheEuropeanscollectedboysforthemissionschoolyearsago,
mosteldersgavethemtheonestheywantedtogetridof,thelayaboutsandmalcontents.Nowthoseboys
havereturned,andtheyfeelnokinshipwithanyone.Theywieldtheirknowledgeofwritinglikealonggun
theydemandtheirchiefsfindthemwives,orelsetheyllwriteliesaboutthemandhavetheEuropeansdepose
them.
Jijingiknewaboywhowasalwayscomplainingandlookingforwaystoavoidworkitwouldbeadisasterif
someonelikehimhadpoweroverSabe.CantyoutelltheEuropeansaboutthis?
Manyhave,Sabeanswered.ItwasMaishooftheKwandeclanwhowarnedmeaboutthescribesthey
wereinstalledinKwandevillagesfirst.MaishowasfortunatethattheEuropeansbelievedhiminsteadofhis
scribeslies,butheknowsofotherchiefswhowerenotsoluckytheEuropeansoftenbelievepaperover
people.Idontwishtotakethechance.HelookedatJijingiseriously.Youaremykin,Jijingi,andkinto
everyoneinthisvillage.ItrustyoutowritedownwhatIsay.
Yes,Sabe.
Tribalcourtwasheldeverymonth,frommorninguntillateafternoonforthreedaysinarow,anditalways
attractedanaudience,sometimesonesolargethatSabehadtodemandeveryonesittoallowthebreezeto
reachthecenterofthecircle.JijingisatnexttoSabeandrecordedthedetailsofeachdisputeinabookthe
officerhadleft.Itwasagoodjobhewaspaidoutofthefeescollectedfromthedisputants,andhewasgiven
notjustachairbutasmalltabletoo,whichhecoulduseforwritingevenwhencourtwasntinsession.The
complaintsSabeheardwerevariedonemightbeaboutastolenbicycle,anothermightbeaboutwhethera
manwasresponsibleforhisneighborscropsfailingbutmosthadtodowithwives.Foronesuchdispute,
Jijingiwrotedownthefollowing:
UmemswifeGirgihasrunawayfromhomeandgonebacktoherkin.HerkinsmanAnongohastriedto
convincehertostaywithherhusband,butGirgirefuses,andthereisnomoreAnongocando.Umem
demandsthereturnofthe11hepaidasbridewealth.Anongosayshehasnomoneyatthemoment,and
moreoverthathewasonlypaid6.
Saberequestedwitnessesforbothsides.Anongosayshehaswitnesses,buttheyhavegoneonatrip.Umem
producesawitness,whoisswornin.Hetestifiesthathehimselfcountedthe11thatUmempaidtoAnongo.
SabeasksGirgitoreturntoherhusbandandbeagoodwife,butshesaysshehashadallthatshecanstand
ofhim.SabeinstructsAnongotorepayUmem11,thefirstpaymenttobeinthreemonthswhenhiscropsare
saleable.Anongoagrees.
Itwasthefinaldisputeoftheday,bywhichtimeSabewasclearlytired.Sellingvegetablestopayback
bridewealth,hesaidafterwards,shakinghishead.ThiswouldnthavehappenedwhenIwasaboy.
Jijingiknewwhathemeant.Inthepast,theelderssaid,youconductedexchangeswithsimilaritems:ifyou
wantedagoat,youcouldtradechickensforitifyouwantedtomarryawoman,youpromisedoneofyour
kinswomentoherfamily.ThentheEuropeanssaidtheywouldnolongeracceptvegetablesaspaymentfor
taxes,insistingthatitbepaidincoin.Beforelong,everythingcouldbeexchangedformoneyyoucoulduseit

tobuyeverythingfromacalabashtoawife.Theeldersconsidereditabsurd.
Theoldwaysarevanishing,agreedJijingi.Hedidntsaythatyoungpeoplepreferredthingsthisway,
becausetheEuropeanshadalsodecreedthatbridewealthcouldonlybepaidifthewomanconsentedtothe
marriage.Inthepast,ayoungwomanmightbepromisedtoanoldmanwithleproushandsandrottingteeth,
andhavenochoicebuttomarryhim.Nowawomancouldmarrythemanshefavored,aslongashecould
affordtopaythebridewealth.Jijingihimselfwassavingmoneytomarry.
Mosebycametowatchsometimes,buthefoundtheproceedingsconfusing,andoftenaskedJijingiquestions
afterwards.
Forexample,therewasthedisputebetweenUmemandAnongooverhowmuchbridewealthwasowed.Why
wasonlythewitnessswornin?askedMoseby.
Toensurethathesaidpreciselywhathappened.
ButifUmemandAnongowereswornin,thatwouldhaveensuredtheysaidpreciselywhathappenedtoo.
Anongowasabletoliebecausehewasnotswornin.
Anongodidntlie,saidJijingi.Hesaidwhatheconsideredright,justasUmemdid.
ButwhatAnongosaidwasntthesameaswhatthewitnesssaid.
Butthatdoesntmeanhewaslying.ThenJijingirememberedsomethingabouttheEuropeanlanguage,and
understoodMosebysconfusion.Ourlanguagehastwowordsforwhatinyourlanguageiscalledtrue.
Thereiswhatsright,mimi,andwhatsprecise,vough.Inadisputetheprincipalssaywhattheyconsiderright
theyspeakmimi.Thewitnesses,however,aresworntosaypreciselywhathappenedtheyspeakvough.
WhenSabehasheardwhathappenedcanhedecidewhatactionismimiforeveryone.Butitsnotlyingifthe
principalsdontspeakvough,aslongastheyspeakmimi.
Mosebyclearlydisapproved.InthelandIcomefrom,everyonewhotestifiesincourtmustsweartospeak
vough,eventheprincipals.
Jijingididntseethepointofthat,butallhesaidwas,Everytribehasitsowncustoms.
Yes,customsmayvary,butthetruthisthetruthitdoesntchangefromonepersontoanother.And
rememberwhattheBiblesays:thetruthshallsetyoufree.
Iremember,saidJijingi.MosebyhadsaidthatitwasknowingGodstruththathadmadetheEuropeansso
successful.Therewasnodenyingtheirwealthorpower,butwhoknewwhatwasthecause?
#
InordertowriteaboutRemem,itwasonlyfairthatItryitoutmyself.TheproblemwasthatIdidnthavea
lifelogforittoindextypicallyIonlyactivatedmypersonalcamwhenIwasconductinganintervieworcovering
anevent.ButIvecertainlyspenttimeinthepresenceofpeoplewhokeptlifelogs,andIcouldmakeuseof
whattheydrecorded.Whilealllifeloggingsoftwarehasprivacycontrolsinplace,mostpeoplealsograntbasic
sharingrights:ifyouractionswererecordedintheirlifelog,youhaveaccesstothefootageinwhichyoure
present.SoIlaunchedanagenttoassembleapartiallifelogfromthefootageothershadrecorded,usingmy
GPShistoryasthebasisforthequery.Overthecourseofaweek,myrequestpropagatedthroughsocial
networksandpublicvideoarchives,andIwasrewardedwithsnippetsofvideorangingfromafewsecondsin
lengthtoafewhours:notjustsecurity-camfootagebutexcerptsfromthelifelogsoffriends,acquaintances,

andevencompletestrangers.
TheresultinglifelogwasofcoursehighlyfragmentarycomparedtowhatIwouldhavehadifIdbeen
recordingvideomyself,andthefootagewasallfromathird-personperspectiveratherthanthefirst-person
thatmostlifelogshave,butRememwasabletoworkwiththat.Iexpectedthatcoveragewouldbethickestin
thelateryears,simplyduetotheincreasingpopularityoflifelogs.Itwassomewhattomysurprise,then,that
whenIlookedatagraphofthecoverage,Ifoundabumpinthecoverageoveradecadeago.Nicolehad
beenkeepingalifelogsinceshewasateenager,soanunexpectedlylargesegmentofmydomesticlifewas
present.
IwasinitiallyabituncertainofhowtotestRemem,sinceIobviouslycouldntaskittobringupvideoofan
eventIdidntremember.IfiguredIdstartoutwithsomethingIdidremember.Isubvocalized,ThetimeVince
toldmeabouthistriptoPalau.
Myretinalprojectordisplayedawindowinthelowerleftcornerofmyfieldofvision:Imhavinglunchwithmy
friendsVincentandJeremy.Vincentdidntmaintainalifelogeither,sothefootagewasfromJeremyspointof
view.IlistenedtoVincentraveaboutscubadivingforaminute.
NextItriedsomethingthatIonlyvaguelyremembered.ThedinnerbanquetwhenIsatbetweenDeborahand
Lyle.Ididntrememberwhoelsewassittingatthetable,andwonderedifRememcouldhelpmeidentify
them.
Sureenough,Deborahhadbeenrecordingthatevening,andwithhervideoIwasabletousearecognition
agenttoidentityeveryonesittingacrossfromus.
Afterthoseinitialsuccesses,Ihadarunoffailuresnotsurprising,consideringthegapsinthelifelog.Butover
thecourseofanhour-longtripsurveyofpastevents,Rememsperformancewasgenerallyimpressive.
FinallyitseemedtimeformetotryRememonsomememoriesthatweremoreemotionallyfreighted.My
relationshipwithNicolefeltstrongenoughnowformetosafelyrevisitthefightswedhadwhenshewas
young.IfiguredIdstartwiththeargumentIrememberedclearly,andworkbackwardsfromthere.
Isubvocalized,ThetimeNicoleyelledatmeyourethereasonsheleft.
ThewindowdisplaysthekitchenofthehousewelivedinwhenNicolewasgrowingup.Thefootageisfrom
Nicolespointofview,andImstandinginfrontofthestove.Itsobviouswerefighting.
Yourethereasonsheleft.Youcanleavetoo,forallIcare.Isureashellwouldbebetteroffwithoutyou.
ThewordswerejustasIrememberedthem,butitwasntNicolesayingthem.
Itwasme.
Myfirstthoughtwasthatitmustbeafake,thatNicolehadeditedthevideotoputherwordsintomymouth.
Shemusthavenoticedmyrequestforaccesstoherlifelogfootage,andconcoctedthistoteachmealesson.
Orperhapsitwasafilmshehadcreatedtoshowherfriends,toreinforcethestoriesshetoldaboutme.But
whywasshestillsoangryatme,thatshewoulddosuchathing?Hadntwegottenpastthis?
Istartedskimmingthroughthevideo,lookingforinconsistenciesthatwouldindicatewheretheeditedfootage
hadbeensplicedin.ThesubsequentfootageshowedNicolerunningoutofthehouse,justasIremembered,
sotherewouldntbesignsofinconsistencythere.Irewoundthevideoandstartedwatchingthepreceding
argument.

InitiallyIwasangryasIwatched,angryatNicoleforgoingtosuchlengthstocreatethislie,becausethe
precedingfootagewasallconsistentwithmebeingtheonewhoyelledather.ThensomeofwhatIwas
sayinginthevideobegantosoundqueasilyfamiliar:complainingaboutbeingcalledtoherschoolagain
becauseshedgottenintotrouble,accusingherofspendingtimewiththewrongcrowd.Butthiswasntthe
contextinwhichIdsaidthosethings,wasit?Ihadbeenvoicingmyconcern,notberatingher.Nicolemust
haveadaptedthingsIdsaidelsewheretomakeherslanderousvideomoreplausible.Thatwastheonly
explanation,right?
IaskedRememtoexaminethevideoswatermark,anditreportedthevideowasunmodified.Isawthat
Rememhadsuggestedacorrectioninmysearchterms:whereIhadsaidthetimeNicoleyelledatme,it
offeredthetimeIyelledatNicole.Thecorrectionmusthavebeendisplayedatthesametimeastheinitial
searchresult,butIhadntnoticed.IshutdownRememindisgust,furiousattheproduct.Iwasaboutto
searchforinformationonforgingadigitalwatermarktoprovethisvideowasfaked,butIstoppedmyself,
recognizingitasanactofdesperation.
Iwouldhavetestified,handonastackofBiblesorusinganyoathrequiredofme,thatitwasNicolewhod
accusedmeofbeingthereasonhermotherleftus.Myrecollectionofthatargumentwasasclearasany
memoryIhad,butthatwasnttheonlyreasonIfoundthevideohardtobelieveitwasalsomyknowledgethat
whatevermyfaultsorimperfectionsIwasneverthekindoffatherwhocouldsaysuchathingtohischild.
YetherewasdigitalvideoprovingthatIhadbeenexactlythatkindoffather.AndwhileIwasntthatman
anymore,IcouldntdenythatIwascontinuouswithhim.
EvenmoretellingwasthefactthatformanyyearsIhadsuccessfullyhiddenthetruthfrommyself.EarlierI
saidthatthedetailswechoosetorememberareareflectionofourpersonalities.Whatdiditsayaboutme
thatIputthosewordsinNicolesmouthinsteadofmine?
Irememberedthatargumentasbeingaturningpointforme.Ihadimaginedanarrativeofredemptionand
self-improvementinwhichIwastheheroicsinglefather,risingtomeetthechallenge.Buttherealitywas
what?HowmuchofwhathadhappenedsincethencouldItakecreditfor?
IrestartedRememandbeganlookingatvideoofNicolesgraduationfromcollege.ThatwasaneventIhad
recordedmyself,soIhadfootageofNicolesface,andsheseemedgenuinelyhappyinmypresence.Was
shehidinghertruefeelingssowellthatIcouldntdetectthem?Or,ifourrelationshiphadactuallyimproved,
howhadthathappened?IhadobviouslybeenamuchworsefatherfourteenyearsagothanIdthoughtit
wouldbetemptingtoconcludeIhadcomefarthertoreachwhereIcurrentlywas,butIcouldnttrustmy
perceptionsanymore.DidNicoleevenhavepositivefeelingsaboutmenow?
IwasntgoingtotryusingRememtoanswerthisquestionIneededtogotothesource.IcalledNicoleand
leftamessagesayingIwantedtotalktoher,andaskingifIcouldcomeovertoherapartmentthatevening.
#
ItwasafewyearslaterthatSabebeganattendingaseriesofmeetingsofallthechiefsintheShangevclan.
HeexplainedtoJijingithattheEuropeansnolongerwishedtodealwithsomanychiefs,andweredemanding
thatallofTivlandbedividedintoeightgroupstheycalledsepts.Asaresult,Sabeandtheotherchiefshadto
discusswhotheShangevclanwouldjoinwith.Althoughtherewasnoneedforascribe,Jijingiwascuriousto
hearthedeliberationsandaskedSabeifhemightaccompanyhim,andSabeagreed.
Jijingihadneverseensomanyeldersinoneplacebeforesomewereeven-temperedanddignifiedlikeSabe,
whileotherswereloudandfullofbluster.Theyarguedforhoursonend.

IntheeveningafterJijingihadreturned,Mosebyaskedhimwhatithadbeenlike.Jijingisighed.Evenif
theyrenotyelling,theyrefightinglikewildcats.
WhodoesSabethinkyoushouldjoin?
WeshouldjoinwiththeclansthatweremostcloselyrelatedtothatstheTivway.AndsinceShangevwas
thesonofKwande,ourclanshouldjoinwiththeKwandeclan,wholivetothesouth.
Thatmakessense,saidMoseby.Sowhyistheredisagreement?
ThemembersoftheShangevclandontalllivenexttoeachother.Someliveonthefarmlandinthewest,
neartheJechiraclan,andtheelderstherearefriendlywiththeJechiraelders.TheydliketheShangevclanto
jointheJechiraclan,becausethentheydhavemoreinfluenceintheresultingsept.
Isee.Mosebythoughtforamoment.CouldthewesternShangevjoinadifferentseptfromthesouthern
Shangev?
Jijingishookhishead.WeShangevallhaveonefather,soweshouldallremaintogether.Alltheeldersagree
onthat.
Butiflineageissoimportant,howcantheeldersfromthewestarguethattheShangevclanoughttojoinwith
theJechiraclan?
Thatswhatthedisagreementwasabout.TheeldersfromthewestareclaimingShangevwasthesonof
Jechira.
Wait,youdontknowwhoShangevsparentswere?
Ofcourseweknow!SabecanrecitehisancestorsallthewaybacktoTivhimself.Theeldersfromthewest
aremerelypretendingthatShangevwasJechirassonbecausetheydbenefitfromjoiningwiththeJechira
clan.
ButiftheShangevclanjoinedwiththeKwandeclan,wouldntyoureldersbenefit?
Yes,butShangevwasKwandesson.ThenJijingirealizedwhatMosebywasimplying.Youthinkourelders
aretheonespretending!
No,notatall.Itjustsoundslikebothsideshaveequallygoodclaims,andtheresnowaytotellwhosright.
Sabesright.
Ofcourse,saidMoseby.Buthowcanyougettheotherstoadmitthat?InthelandIcomefrom,many
peoplewritedowntheirlineageonpaper.Thatwaywecantraceourancestryprecisely,evenmany
generationsinthepast.
Yes,IveseenthelineagesinyourBible,tracingAbrahambacktoAdam.
Ofcourse.ButevenapartfromtheBible,peoplehaverecordedtheirlineages.Whenpeoplewanttofindout
whotheyredescendedfrom,theycanconsultpaper.Ifyouhadpaper,theotherelderswouldhavetoadmit
thatSabewasright.
Thatwasagoodpoint,Jijingiadmitted.IfonlytheShangevclanhadbeenusingpaperlongago.Then
somethingoccurredtohim.HowlongagodidtheEuropeansfirstcometoTivland?

Imnotsure.Atleastfortyyearsago,Ithink.
DoyouthinktheymighthavewrittendownanythingabouttheShangevclanslineagewhentheyfirst
arrived?
Mosebylookedthoughtful.Perhaps.Theadministrationdefinitelykeepsalotofrecords.Ifthereareany,
theydbestoredatthegovernmentstationinKatsina-Ala.
AtruckcarriedgoodsalongthemotorroadintoKatsina-Alaeveryfifthday,whenthemarketwasbeingheld,
andthenextmarketwouldbethedayaftertomorrow.Ifhelefttomorrowmorning,hecouldreachthemotor
roadintimetogetaride.Doyouthinktheywouldletmeseethem?
ItmightbeeasierifyouhaveaEuropeanwithyou,saidMoseby,smiling.Shallwetakeatrip?
#
Nicoleopenedthedoortoherapartmentandinvitedmein.ShewasobviouslycuriousaboutwhyIdcome.
Sowhatdidyouwanttotalkabout?
Iwasntsurehowtobegin.Thisisgoingtosoundstrange.
Okay,shesaid.
ItoldheraboutviewingmypartiallifelogusingRemem,andseeingtheargumentwedhadwhenshewas
sixteenthatendedwithmeyellingatherandherleavingthehouse.Doyourememberthatday?
OfcourseIdo.Shelookeduncomfortable,uncertainofwhereIwasgoingwiththis.
Irememberedittoo,oratleastIthoughtIdid.ButIremembereditdifferently.ThewayIrememberedit,it
wasyouwhosaidittome.
Mewhosaidwhat?
IrememberedyoutellingmethatIcouldleaveforallyoucared,andthatyoudbebetteroffwithoutme.
Nicolestaredatmeforalongtime.Alltheseyears,thatshowyouverememberedthatday?
Yes,untiltoday.
Thatdalmostbefunnyifitwerentsosad.
Ifeltsicktomystomach.Imsosorry.IcanttellyouhowsorryIam.
Sorryyousaidit,orsorrythatyouimaginedmesayingit?
Both.
Wellyoushouldbe!Youknowhowthatmademefeel?
Icantimagine.IknowIfeltterriblewhenIthoughtyouhadsaidittome.
Exceptthatwasjustsomethingyoumadeup.Itactuallyhappenedtome.Sheshookherheadindisbelief.
Fuckingtypical.

Thathurttohear.Isit?Really?
Sure,shesaid.Yourealwaysactinglikeyourethevictim,likeyourethegoodguywhodeservestobe
treatedbetterthanyouare.
YoumakemesoundlikeImdelusional.
Notdelusional.Justblindandself-absorbed.
Ibristledalittle.Imtryingtoapologizehere.
Right,right.Thisisaboutyou.
No,youreright,Imsorry.IwaiteduntilNicolegesturedformetogoon.IguessIamblindandselfabsorbed.ThereasonitshardformetoadmitthatisthatIthoughtIhadopenedmyeyesandgottenover
that.
Shefrowned.What?
ItoldherhowIfeltlikeIhadturnedaroundasafatherandrebuiltourrelationship,culminatinginamomentof
bondingathercollegegraduation.Nicolewasntopenlyderisive,butherexpressioncausedmetostop
talkingitwasobviousIwasembarrassingmyself.
Didyoustillhatemeatgraduation?Iasked.WasIcompletelymakingitupthatyouandIgotalongthen?
No,wedidgetalongatgraduation.Butitwasntbecauseyouhadmagicallybecomeagoodfather.
Whatwasit,then?
Shepaused,tookadeepbreath,andthensaid,IstartedseeingatherapistwhenIwenttocollege.She
pausedagain.Sheprettymuchsavedmylife.
Myfirstthoughtwas,whywouldNicoleneedatherapist?Ipushedthatdownandsaid,Ididntknowyouwere
intherapy.
OfcourseyoudidntyouwerethelastpersonIwouldhavetold.Anyway,bythetimeIwasasenior,shehad
convincedmethatIwasbetteroffnotstayingangryatyou.ThatswhyyouandIgotalongsowellat
graduation.
SoIhadindeedfabricatedanarrativethatborelittleresemblancetoreality.Nicolehaddoneallthework,and
Ihaddonenone.
IguessIdontreallyknowyou.
Sheshrugged.Youknowmeaswellasyouneedto.
Thathurt,too,butIcouldhardlycomplain.Youdeservebetter,Isaid.
Nicolegaveabrief,ruefullaugh.Youknow,whenIwasyounger,Iusedtodaydreamaboutyousayingthat.
Butnowwell,itsnotasifitfixeseverything,isit?
IrealizedthatIdbeenhopingshewouldforgivemethenandthere,andtheneverythingwouldbegood.Butit
wouldtakemorethanmysayingsorrytorepairourrelationship.

Somethingoccurredtome.IcantchangethethingsIdid,butatleastIcanstoppretendingIdidntdothem.
ImgoingtouseRememtogetahonestpictureatmyself,takeakindofpersonalinventory.
Nicolelookedatme,gaugingmysincerity.Fine,shesaid.Butletsbeclear:youdontcomerunningtome
everytimeyoufeelguiltyovertreatingmelikecrap.Iworkedhardtoputthatbehindme,andImnotgoingto
reliveitjustsoyoucanfeelbetteraboutyourself.
Ofcourse.Isawthatshewastearingup.AndIveupsetyouagainbybringingallthisup.Imsorry.
Itsallright,Dad.Iappreciatewhatyouretryingtodo.Justletsnotdoitagainforawhile,okay?
Right.Imovedtowardthedoortoleave,andthenstopped.Ijustwantedtoaskifitspossible,iftheres
anythingIcandotomakeamends
Makeamends?Shelookedincredulous.Idontknow.Justbemoreconsiderate,willyou?
AndthatwhatImtryingtodo.
#
Atthegovernmentstationtherewasindeedpaperfromfortyyearsago,whattheEuropeanscalled
assessmentreports,andMosebyspresencewassufficienttograntthemaccess.Theywerewritteninthe
Europeanlanguage,whichJijingicouldntread,buttheyincludeddiagramsoftheancestryofthevarious
clans,andhecouldidentifytheTivnamesinthosediagramseasilyenough,andMosebyhadconfirmedthat
hisinterpretationwascorrect.Theeldersinthewesternfarmswereright,andSabewaswrong:Shangevwas
notKwandesson,hewasJechiras.
OneofthemenatthegovernmentstationhadagreedtotypeupacopyoftherelevantpagesoJijingicould
takeitwithhim.MosebydecidedtostayinKatsina-Alatovisitwiththemissionariesthere,butJijingicame
homerightaway.Hefeltlikeanimpatientchildonthereturntrip,wishinghecouldridethetruckalltheway
backinsteadofhavingtowalkfromthemotorroad.Assoonashehadarrivedatthevillage,Jijingilookedfor
Sabe.
HefoundhimonthepathleadingtoaneighboringfarmsomeneighborshadstoppedSabetohavehim
settleadisputeoverhowanannygoatskidsshouldbedistributed.Finally,theyweresatisfied,andSabe
resumedhiswalk.Jijingiwalkedbesidehim.
Welcomeback,saidSabe.
Sabe,IvebeentoKatsina-Ala.
Ah.Whydidyougothere?
Jijingishowedhimthepaper.Thiswaswrittenlongago,whentheEuropeansfirstcamehere.Theyspoketo
theeldersoftheShangevclanthen,andwhentheelderstoldthemthehistoryoftheShangevclan,theysaid
thatShangevwasthesonofJechira.
Sabesreactionwasmild.WhomdidtheEuropeansask?
Jijingilookedatthepaper.BaturandIorkyaha.
Irememberthem,hesaid,nodding.Theywerewisemen.Theywouldnothavesaidsuchathing.

Jijingipointedatthewordsonthepage.Buttheydid!
Perhapsyouarereadingitwrong.
Iamnot!Iknowhowtoread.
Sabeshrugged.Whydidyoubringthispaperbackhere?
Whatitsaysisimportant.ItmeansweshouldrightfullybejoinedwiththeJechiraclan.
Youthinktheclanshouldtrustyourdecisiononthismatter?
Imnotaskingtheclantotrustme.Imaskingthemtotrustthemenwhowereelderswhenyouwereyoung.
Andsotheyshould.Butthosemenarenthere.Allyouhaveispaper.
Thepapertellsuswhattheywouldsayiftheywerehere.
Doesit?Amandoesntspeakonlyonething.IfBaturandIorkyahawerehere,theywouldagreewithmethat
weshouldjoinwiththeKwandeclan.
Howcouldthey,whenShangevwasthesonofJechira?Hepointedatthesheetofpaper.TheJechiraare
ourcloserkin.
SabestoppedwalkingandturnedtofaceJijingi.Questionsofkinshipcannotberesolvedbypaper.Yourea
scribebecauseMaishooftheKwandeclanwarnedmeabouttheboysfromthemissionschool.Maisho
wouldnthavelookedoutforusifwedidntsharethesamefather.Yourpositionisproofofhowcloseour
clansare,butyouforgetthat.Youlooktopapertotellyouwhatyoushouldalreadyknow,here.Sabetapped
himonhischest.HaveyoustudiedpapersomuchthatyouveforgottenwhatitistobeTiv?
JijingiopenedhismouthtoprotestwhenherealizedthatSabewasright.Allthetimehedspentstudying
writinghadmadehimthinklikeaEuropean.Hehadcometotrustwhatwaswrittenonpaperoverwhatwas
saidbypeople,andthatwasnttheTivway.
TheassessmentreportoftheEuropeanswasvoughitwasexactandprecise,butthatwasntenoughto
settlethequestion.Thechoiceofwhichclantojoinwithhadtoberightforthecommunityithadtobemimi.
Onlytheelderscoulddeterminewhatwasmimiitwastheirresponsibilitytodecidewhatwasbestforthe
Shangevclan.AskingSabetodefertothepaperwasaskinghimtoactagainstwhatheconsideredright.
Youreright,Sabe,hesaid.Forgiveme.Youremyelder,anditwaswrongofmetosuggestthatpaper
couldknowmorethanyou.
Sabenoddedandresumedwalking.Youarefreetodoasyouwish,butIbelieveitwilldomoreharmthan
goodtoshowthatpapertoothers.
Jijingiconsideredit.Theeldersfromthewesternfarmswouldundoubtedlyarguethattheassessmentreport
supportedtheirposition,prolongingadebatethathadalreadygonetoolong.Butmorethanthat,itwould
movetheTivdownthepathofregardingpaperasthesourceoftruthitwouldbeanotherstreaminwhichthe
oldwayswerewashingaway,andhecouldseenobenefitinit.
Iagree,saidJijingi.Iwontshowthistoanyoneelse.
Sabenodded.

Jijingiwalkedbacktohishut,reflectingonwhathadhappened.Evenwithoutattendingamissionschool,he
hadbegunthinkinglikeaEuropeanhispracticeofwritinginhisnotebookshadledhimtodisrespecthis
elderswithouthimevenbeingawareofit.Writinghelpedhimthinkmoreclearly,hecouldntdenythatbutthat
wasntgoodenoughreasontotrustpaperoverpeople.
Asascribe,hehadtokeepthebookofSabesdecisionsintribalcourt.Buthedidntneedtokeeptheother
notebooks,theonesinwhichhedwrittendownhisthoughts.Hewouldusethemastinderforthecookingfire.
#
Wedontnormallythinkofitassuch,butwritingisatechnology,whichmeansthataliteratepersonis
someonewhosethoughtprocessesaretechnologicallymediated.Webecamecognitivecyborgsassoonas
webecamefluentreaders,andtheconsequencesofthatwereprofound.
Beforeacultureadoptstheuseofwriting,whenitsknowledgeistransmittedexclusivelythroughoralmeans,it
canveryeasilyreviseitshistory.Itsnotintentional,butitisinevitablethroughouttheworld,bardsandgriots
haveadaptedtheirmaterialtotheiraudiences,andthusgraduallyadjustedthepasttosuittheneedsofthe
present.Theideathataccountsofthepastshouldntchangeisaproductofliterateculturesreverenceforthe
writtenword.Anthropologistswilltellyouthatoralculturesunderstandthepastdifferentlyforthem,their
historiesdontneedtobeaccuratesomuchastheyneedtovalidatethecommunitysunderstandingofitself.
Soitwouldntbecorrecttosaythattheirhistoriesareunreliabletheirhistoriesdowhattheyneedtodo.
Rightnoweachofusisaprivateoralculture.Werewriteourpaststosuitourneedsandsupportthestorywe
tellaboutourselves.WithourmemoriesweareallguiltyofaWhiginterpretationofourpersonalhistories,
seeingourformerselvesasstepstowardourgloriouspresentselves.
Butthateraiscomingtoanend.Rememismerelythefirstofanewgenerationofmemoryprostheses,and
astheseproductsgainwidespreadadoption,wewillbereplacingourmalleableorganicmemorieswithperfect
digitalarchives.Wewillhavearecordofwhatweactuallydidinsteadofstoriesthatevolveoverrepeated
tellings.Withinourminds,eachofuswillbetransformedfromanoralcultureintoaliterateone.
Itwouldbeeasyformetoassertthatliterateculturesarebetteroffthanoralones,butmybiasshouldbe
obvious,sinceImwritingthesewordsratherthanspeakingthemtoyou.InsteadIwillsaythatitseasierfor
metoappreciatethebenefitsofliteracyandhardertorecognizeeverythingithascostus.Literacy
encouragesaculturetoplacemorevalueondocumentationandlessonsubjectiveexperience,andoverallI
thinkthepositivesoutweighthenegatives.Writtenrecordsaresubjecttoeverykindoferrorandtheir
interpretationissubjecttochange,butatleastthewordsonthepageremainfixed,andthereisrealmeritin
that.
Whenitcomestoourindividualmemories,Iliveontheoppositesideofthedivide.Assomeonewhoseidentity
wasbuiltonorganicmemory,Imthreatenedbytheprospectofremovingsubjectivityfromourrecallof
events.Iusedtothinkitcouldbevaluableforindividualstotellstoriesaboutthemselves,valuableinaway
thatitcouldntbeforcultures,butImaproductofmytime,andtimeschange.Wecantpreventtheadoption
ofdigitalmemoryanymorethanoralculturescouldstopthearrivalofliteracy,sothebestIcandoislookfor
somethingpositiveinit.
AndIthinkIvefoundtherealbenefitofdigitalmemory.Thepointisnottoproveyouwererightthepointisto
admityouwerewrong.
Becauseallofushavebeenwrongonvariousoccasions,engagedincrueltyandhypocrisy,andweve
forgottenmostofthoseoccasions.Andthatmeanswedontreallyknowourselves.Howmuchpersonal

insightcanIclaimifIcanttrustmymemory?Howmuchcanyou?Youreprobablythinkingthat,whileyour
memoryisntperfect,youveneverengagedinrevisionismofthemagnitudeImguiltyof.ButIwasjustas
certainasyou,andIwaswrong.Youmaysay,IknowImnotperfect.Ivemademistakes.Iamheretotell
youthatyouhavemademorethanyouthink,thatsomeofthecoreassumptionsonwhichyourself-imageis
builtareactuallylies.SpendsometimeusingRemem,andyoullfindout.
ButthereasonInowrecommendRememisnotfortheshamefulremindersitprovidesofyourpastitsto
avoidtheneedforthoseinthefuture.Organicmemorywaswhatenabledmetoconstructawhitewashed
narrativeofmyparentingskills,butbyusingdigitalmemoryfromnowon,Ihopetokeepthatfromhappening.
Thetruthaboutmybehaviorwontbepresentedtomebysomeoneelse,makingmedefensiveitwonteven
besomethingIlldiscoverasaprivateshock,promptingareevaluation.WithRememprovidingonlythe
unvarnishedfacts,myimageofmyselfwillneverstraytoofarfromthetruthinthefirstplace.
Digitalmemorywillnotstopusfromtellingstoriesaboutourselves.AsIsaidearlier,wearemadeofstories,
andnothingcanchangethat.Whatdigitalmemorywilldoischangethosestoriesfromfabulationsthat
emphasizeourbestactsandelideourworst,intoonesthatIhopeacknowledgeourfallibilityandmakeus
lessjudgmentalaboutthefallibilityofothers.
NicolehasbegunusingRememaswell,anddiscoveredthatherrecollectionofeventsisntperfecteither.This
hasntmadeherforgivemeforthewayItreatedhernorshouldit,becausehermisdeedswereminor
comparedtominebutithassoftenedherangeratmymisrememberingmyactions,becausesherealizes
itssomethingwealldo.AndImembarrassedtoadmitthatthisispreciselythescenarioEricaMeyers
predictedwhenshetalkedaboutRememseffectsonrelationships.
ThisdoesntmeanIvechangedmymindaboutthedownsidesofdigitalmemorytherearemany,andpeople
needtobeawareofthem.IjustdontthinkIcanarguethecasewithanysortofobjectivityanymore.I
abandonedthearticleIwasplanningtowriteaboutmemoryprosthesesIhandedofftheresearchIddoneto
acolleague,andshewroteafinepieceabouttheprosandconsofthesoftware,adispassionatearticlefree
fromallthesoul-searchingandangstthatwouldhavesaturatedanythingIsubmitted.Instead,Ivewrittenthis.
TheaccountIvegivenoftheTivisbasedinfact,butisntpreciselyaccurate.Therewasindeedadispute
amongtheTivin1941overwhomtheShangevclanshouldjoinwith,basedondifferingclaimsaboutthe
parentageoftheclansfounder,andadministrativerecordsdidshowthattheclaneldersaccountoftheir
genealogyhadchangedovertime.ButmanyofthespecificdetailsIvedescribedareinvented.Theactual
eventsweremorecomplicatedandlessdramatic,asactualeventsalwaysare,soIhavetakenlibertiesto
makeabetternarrative.Ivetoldastoryinordertomakeacaseforthetruth.Irecognizethecontradiction
here.
AsformyaccountofmyargumentwithNicole,IvetriedtomakeitasaccurateasIpossiblycould.Ivebeen
recordingeverythingsinceIstartedworkingonthisproject,andIveconsultedtherecordingsrepeatedlywhen
writingthis.Butinmychoiceofwhichdetailstoincludeandwhichtoomit,perhapsIhavejustconstructed
anotherstory.Inspiteofmyeffortstobeunflinching,haveIflatteredmyselfwiththisportrayal?HaveI
distortedeventssotheymorecloselyfollowthearcexpectedofaconfessionalnarrative?Theonlywayyou
canjudgeisbycomparingmyaccountagainsttherecordingsthemselves,soImdoingsomethingInever
thoughtIddo:withNicolespermission,Iamgrantingpublicaccesstomylifelog,suchasitis.Takealookat
thevideo,anddecideforyourself.
AndifyouthinkIvebeenlessthanhonest,tellme.Iwanttoknow.