Narrative

by Brandon Gibson

FILE

MAJOR_ASSIGNMENT _1_-_LIT ERACY_NARRAT IVE.DOCX (18.8K)

T IME SUBMIT T ED

23-SEP-2016 09:59PM

WORD COUNT

787

SUBMISSION ID

710112995

CHARACT ER COUNT

3446

PA
Run-on

Run-on
Comma Splice

Comma Needed
Comma Needed
Comma Needed

Run-on

Comma Splice

WC
5

Run-on

Narrative
GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE

GENERAL COMMENTS

94

Instructor
Brandon,

/100

Your writing has a strong f ocus, one that unpacks

multiple events in relation to your your
development/relationship with reading and writing.

You especially develop one specif ic time period to

relate to your ideas, that of your sophomore year.
You have a clear introduction; while your main idea
could use a f ew more specif ic details, you develop
your ideas more specif ically in your conclusion,
giving your reader a strong takeaway.

Great work! Just be sure to keep an eye out f or runon thoughts and comma splices. T hese seem to be
hindering some of your ideas throughout your
writing.

PAGE 1

Comment 1
Your page numbers are correct; just be sure it's in T NR f ont, 12 pt.

Comment 2
Good MLA header! I would double check that all line spacings are set at 0.
QM

PA
You have an error with Pronoun-Antecedent relationship. Your pronoun does not have a
def inite antecedent; conf using.

QM

Run-on

Run-on sentence:
T he sentence contains two or more independent clauses. Separate the clauses with a period or
semicolon.

Comment 3
Good way to "lead" your readers with this main thought; as an encouragement f or the next
assignment, I might have encouraged a f ew more details to expand the "so what" response.
QM

Run-on
Run-on sentence:
T he sentence contains two or more independent clauses. Separate the clauses with a period or
semicolon.

QM

Comma Splice
You have two thoughts joined only by a comma. You need to add a coordinating conjunction or
separate your thoughts into two separate sentences.

PAGE 2

QM

Comma Needed
Here, you've f orgotten to include a comma. Suggest reviewing rules f or appropriate comma
usage.

QM

Comma Needed
Here, you've f orgotten to include a comma. Suggest reviewing rules f or appropriate comma
usage.

QM

Comma Needed
Here, you've f orgotten to include a comma. Suggest reviewing rules f or appropriate comma
usage.

QM

Run-on
Run-on sentence:
T he sentence contains two or more independent clauses. Separate the clauses with a period or
semicolon.

QM

Comma Splice
You have two thoughts joined only by a comma. You need to add a coordinating conjunction or
separate your thoughts into two separate sentences.

Comment 4
No comma necessary here. You have the f irst part of a correlative pair, where you include "not
only" and "but also."

QM

WC
Word choice error:
Sometimes choosing the correct word to express exactly what you have to say is very dif f icult
to do. Word choice errors can be the result of not paying attention to the word or trying too
hard to come up with a f ancier word when a simple one is appropriate. A thesaurus can be a
handy tool when you're trying to f ind a word that's similar to, but more accurate than, the one
you're looking up. However, it can of ten introduce more problems if you use a word thinking it
has exactly the same meaning.

Comment 5
Italicize titles of larger works, like books.
PAGE 3

QM

Run-on
Run-on sentence:
T he sentence contains two or more independent clauses. Separate the clauses with a period or
semicolon.

Comment 6
Good! You really make strong connections in your conclusion to your original main idea of how
you experienced a good deal of growth sophomore year.

RUBRIC: LITERACY NARRATIVE

PROCESS WORK (10%)

9 3.20 / 10 0

100 / 100

EXEMPLARY
(100)

Signif icant evidence of revision and editing f or f inal product.

PROFICIENT
(86)

Clear evidence of revision and editing f or f inal product.

PROGRESSING
(78)

Some evidence of revision and editing f or f inal product.

DEVELOPING
(50)

Little to no evidence of revision and editing f or f inal product

INSUFFICIENT
(0)

Piece demonstrates no evidence of change of any sort; matches working draf t

exactly

CONT ENT (25%)

100 / 100

EXEMPLARY
(100)

Fully accomplishes purposes of the assignment Demonstrates insightf ul

understanding of concepts and content Raises provocative questions or gives
insightf ul interpretations Strong attempts to be appealing and interesting according
to audience and purpose

PROFICIENT
(86)

Accomplishes the purpose(s) of the task well Demonstrates sound understanding

of the concepts and content Clear attempts to be appealing and interesting
according to audience and purpose

PROGRESSING
(78)

Accomplishes the purpose(s) of the task Demonstrates adequate understanding

of the concepts and content Omits or misinterprets some less important ideas
Writer is struggling to create interesting writing to audience and purpose

DEVELOPING
(50)

Partially accomplishes the purpose(s) of the task Demonstrates some

understanding of concepts and content Omits or misinterprets many important
Writer made little attempt to present interesting writing to audience and purpose

INSUFFICIENT
(0)

Does not accomplish the purpose(s) of the task Demonstrates no understanding

of major concepts and content T otally unrelated to the assignment Not enough
writing to evaluate; illegible; blank

RHET KNOW (25%)

86 / 100

EXEMPLARY
(100)

Evidence/examples are organized logically and ef f ectively T opic, purpose, and

f ocus are exceptionally clear Includes a clear point or thesis

PROFICIENT
(86)

Evidence/examples are adequately organized logically and ef f ectively T opic,

purpose, and f ocus are very clear and Includes a point or thesis

PROGRESSING

Evidence/examples are somewhat organized T opic, purpose, and f ocus are

(78)

somewhat clear Main point or thesis has some issues with understandability

DEVELOPING
(50)

Organization attempted Evidence/examples are disorganized or inappropriate

T opic, purpose, and f ocus are lacking in clarity Main point or thesis has several
issues with understandability

INSUFFICIENT
(0)

No organization pattern evident T his aspect of the piece is incomplete/insuf f icient.

Work shows little to no evidence of rhetorical knowledge/clarity.

ST YLE (15%)

100 / 100

EXEMPLARY
(100)

Coherent content that f lows smoothly f rom idea to idea

PROFICIENT
(86)

Sentence style and word choice are ef f ective/appropriate

PROGRESSING
(78)

Sentence style and word choice are somewhat ef f ective

DEVELOPING
(50)

Does not f low smoothly f rom idea to idea

INSUFFICIENT
(0)

Sentence style and word choice are inef f ective

CONVENT IONS (15%)

78 / 100

EXEMPLARY
(100)

Little to no issues in readability Writer displays strong ability to use grammatical

conventions appropriately

PROFICIENT
(86)

Some minor issues in readability Writer displays strong ability to use grammatical
conventions appropriately

PROGRESSING
(78)

Some issues that limit overall communication

DEVELOPING
(50)

Many issues in readability Issues f requent enough to detract f rom overall

communication

INSUFFICIENT
(0)

Piece is dif f icult to read/hear/understand. Little to no attention has been given to

making the piece clear to audience. Errors completely hinder communication

MLA FORMAT (10%)

100 / 100

EXEMPLARY
(100)

1-2 errors in MLA f ormatting

PROFICIENT
(86)

3-4 errors in MLA f ormatting

PROGRESSING
(78)

5-6 errors in MLA f ormatting

DEVELOPING
(50)

7-8 errors in MLA f ormatting

INSUFFICIENT
(0)

9 or more errors in MLA f ormatting