Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Is No Accident
Compiled by Dean Amory
This book has been compiled based on the contents of nformation found on the internet. A
number of the articles in this book are indicated by TM or or contain a reference to the
original author. Whenever you cite such an in a commercial situation, please credit the
source or check with the IP -owner. If you are aware of a copyright ownership that I have not
identified or credited, please contact me at: eddyadriaens@yahoo.com
How To Enhance
Your Life
Public Domain Information Compiled by Dean Amory
INDEX
Love What You Do - A Key Ingredient for Success - Donald J. Trump
Discover How To Reach Success, Happiness, Fame & Fortune! - Goldiemaz
The Secrets Of Happiness - Jordan Cheng
Doing Our Full Potential - Scott H Young
Double Your Reading Rate - Scott H Young
Twenty Unique Ways to Use the 80/20 Rule Today - Scott H Young
The Critical Seven Rules to Understand People - Scott H Young
Law of Attraction : Questions, Questions, Questions... - Aldian Prakoso
Loving Relationships Affirmations Mastering the Art of Life - John Ryder
The Three Levels of Thinking - The Power of Purpose - Peter S. Temes
The Secret Of Happiness Noah Weinberg
10 Critical Success Clues for Success Lesley Fieger
10 Winning Traits for Success Richard Gorham
12 Elements for Success Lesley Fieger
How To Make Your Wildest Dreams A Reality Craig Lock
Ignite Your Success - Paul Frazer
Seven Character Traits of Successful People Chris Widener
Seven Ideas for Success Uravi Kumar
7 Things You Can Do To Reach The Success You Truly Desire BZ Riger Hull
Being a Winner - Ten Tips for Success Petra Rankin
The Amazing Success Secret Anyone Can Start Using Today Peter Murphy
How To Begin Your Journey To Success Dave Origano
Effective Strategies for Stopping Procrastination Garret Coan
The Power of Mind Imagery - Joel S. Nelson
What You Need To Do To Be Successful Graham and Julie
The Three-Step Formula To Success Dean Phillips
You Become What You Think About - http://www.inspiration4everyone.com
How To Remove Obstacles For Personal Growth - Author Unknown
How To Become Attractive - Thomas Leonard
Motivating Interviewing - Author Unknown
How To Live A Happy And Rewarding Life - Author Unknown
The Five Rules Of Happiness - Burt Goldman
Top Seven Strategies To Become The Best At What You Do - Lee Karjuki; Dean Amory
Sixty Small Ways To Improve Your Life In The Next 100 Days - Marelisa Fabrega
Quotes - Various Authors
What It Takes To Enhance Your Life - Dean Amory
Fifteen Ways To Enhance your Life Immediately - Dean Amory
Journey to Happiness - Organisational aid - Dean Amory
BON V OY A GE
An idea I am constantly referred to is that of living up to our full potential. I dont agree with
this concept. It might seem odd that someone who runs a personal development blog would
disagree with the concept of living up to our full potential, an idea that is often used as the
fundamental of personal development, so let me explain.
I personally believe that the idea of living up to our full potential illustrates a flaw in our
thinking about how we define success. Our full potential seems to imply that there is an arbitrary
point of maximum achievement for each of us in this life time. I think this type of thinking can be
inspiring, but also limit us in a way.
Thinking about living up to our full potential can often inspire or push us to make
improvements. In this sense, having a full potential to live up to is a good concept in order to get
us to make the improvements we need to make to live a great life. However, I believe that the
concept of full potential makes some inaccurate assumptions about success.
In order to see what these inaccurate assumptions are, we need to define success. So what is
success?
I personally would consider success to be the measure of happiness, fulfilment and impact we have
with our lives. Success is the sense that we are fulfilled with our contribution to the world and are
doing our best. Think about it. Everything we do in life is pretty much to directly or indirectly
influence these factors. We want to be happy and fulfilled in our life and our lifes purpose. Once
we have that we want to increase the positive impact we can have on the world. That is how I
would define success.
So where does happiness and fulfilment come from? Happiness and fulfilment come from growth.
When we feel we are growing, improving and experiencing life to the best of our abilities is when
we are the most fulfilled and contented. Therefore I would say that the measure of success we have
in life is the level of growth we are currently experiencing.
So why does this conflict with the concept of living up to our full potential?
I believe this conflict arises because this implies that the true measure of success is in achieving a
certain point or position in the continuum of personal development. But based on our definition of
success, the position is not really what creates success. Success instead is based on the rate of
growth or velocity.
So instead of our past concept of living up to our full potential. I would say it more accurately as
doing our full potential. This may seem like semantics but the difference is crucial.
Living up to our true potential, that is the arbitrary point of maximum achievement in our lives is
daunting and rarely inspiring. How can one possibly live up to their full potential without the
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benefit of hindsight? Even if we are doing our best, we might make mistakes or incorrect
decisions. This true potential implies that success, happiness and fulfilment, are linked to
achieving our full potential. Seeing as this full potential is always just out of reach, extending
this line of thinking says that we will not be happy or fulfilled unless we reach it. This is why I
think this statement actually demotivates a lot of people.
Doing our full potential implies that we are going to do our best to grow and improve ourselves.
This statement puts the pressure on the present, not the impossibly huge context of our whole lives.
In this sense, as long as we are doing the best we possibly can, we are successful. We can always
do our best, regardless of a specific outcome.
By focusing on doing our full potential we can experience maximum growth and improvement in
our lives. From this improvement and growth we can achieve happiness and fulfilment. Knowing
we are doing the best we can is enough to satisfy. From this context I would say that a recovering
alcoholic doing his best to improve his life is more successful than someone who has settled into
an average life.
Our full potential in the course of our lives is often at the mercy of different factors we cannot
control. If we were to suddenly die tomorrow, I wouldnt say that where we our right now was our
full potential. Furthermore, this full potential gets us to strive towards a point, rather than focusing
on the growth and direction itself.
This concept of success as being an arbitrary point is prevalent in the way we set goals. I often
hear about people who say that they werent any happier after achieving their goals than they were
before. These people would often go on to claim that the problem was with goal setting entirely.
The fact is, the real problem is that they believed success (happiness and fulfilment) was linked
with an arbitrary point, rather than the rate of their own growth. The reason you set goals is to
increase your velocity, to increase the rate of your growth, not just to achieve a specific milestone,
or position, in that development. It may seem odd that the purpose of goal setting isnt just to
achieve the goal, but rather to get us to push beyond our normal expectations, but it is very true.
I believe that many people who like this expression already use it in the way I describe as doing
instead of reaching a point. For those people I think youve already got the right idea. Focus on
how you can do your best right in this moment. As long as you are doing that, you are successful.
Life is a journey not a destination. Dont focus on reaching an arbitrary point, whether that is our
full potential or even your specific goals. Instead focus on whether you are doing your best to
grow, improve and expand. Focus not on living up to your full potential but in doing your full
potential in every moment of your life.
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PositiveArticles.com
http://www.positivearticles.com/Category/General-Self-Help/62/pdate/desc/9
Bringing you positive ideas for self growth and success
Miracles are your responsibility! By : John Di Lemme
As you read this today, my goal is for you to take responsibility and realize that you have the
innate ability to create miracles. So lets get started!
The 7 Most Important Subjects Never Taught In School By : Kevin Michael Kiley
Life is actually very simple. The hard part is allowing it to be that way. This article briefly
describes the 7 areas of our lives to which we should pay constant attention. Having ideals in these
7 areas and learning to move toward those ideals in a regular and balanced way can provide a
powerful sense of meaning and purpose. This article is meant to help people see this more simply
and clearly and to prod them in that direction.
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13
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But how can you practice read faster than you can read? How do you follow the text but still go
faster than you can read? The answer is another of speed reading tricks, using a pointer.
4) Use a Pointer
Your eyes dont stay fixed in one spot when reading. Eye
tracking movements have shown that your eyes actually quiver
and move around considerably. And every movement away from
your position in text requires a few milliseconds to readjust.
These little readjustments in locating your place in a book add up
to be very costly if you want to go faster.
Use your index finger to mark where you are on the page at all
times. It should follow along with the word you are currently
reading, slowly scrolling across each line and then back down
one. It may feel awkward at first and it may even temporarily
slow your reading rate as you adjust, but using a pointer is
critical if you want to improve your reading skill.
Using a pointer is also crucial if you want to practice read. By
moving your finger faster than you can actually read, your eyes
get used to viewing text faster than your brain can process what is written down. This will break
your sub vocalization attachment and can easily let you double your reading rate with sufficient
practice.
You should use your finger as a pointer all the time. When I first started with the habit I found it
annoying to hold the book in a funny position so I could use my right hand to scroll the page. I
thought it was silly and maybe even a waste of time. But now I find it hard to read without a
pointer. Noticing how much it has helped me focus my reading efforts it is a priceless tool in
reading.
5) Eliminate Distractions
As a university student living on campus Ive noticed a few of my friends who study while
watching television. Not surprisingly, these tend to be the same people who complain about how
much studying they have to do. Reading cant happen in an environment where external
distractions are overwhelming.
If you need a break, take a break. Taking a few minutes to watch a television show, listen to some
music or just close your eyes can often improve your focus. But dont multitask with your reading
or youll lose any benefits speed reading can offer. Worse, because you have stopped sub
vocalizing, you might even skim through several pages before you realize you havent
comprehended anything that was written.
Distractions will hamper regular reading but they will make speed reading impossible. Sub
vocalization creates enough mental noise that it can hold your attention, but without that it can
often be difficult to stick with what you are reading.
External distractions may be a problem, but internal distractions are just as bad. They occur when
in the midst of reading you start pondering that conversation you just had with a friend, the movie
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you want to see or whether you should do your laundry. The way to remove internal distractions
comes from clearly identifying a purpose and a motivation.
6) Find Your Motivation
If there was one piece of advice I would
offer to improve your reading rate it would
be simply to engross yourself in the
material you are studying. If you can
connect what you are reading to a deeply
held motivation, and determine your
specific purpose for reading you can
maintain a very alert and focused state.
Most people dont do this. Instead they
force themselves to study the book they
know they should and end up having to
refocus themselves every thirty seconds
when their mind decides that this book is
boring and would like to be somewhere
else.
First, find a general motivation. This is
how what you are reading relates to your
truly motivating goals and passions in life.
When I read my psychology textbook I
focus on the fact that many personal
development principles come from an
understanding of human psychology and
that I may discover new ideas if I look carefully. When studying ancient Asian history I focused on
the fact that studying a completely different culture could offer insights into how Western and
Eastern value systems differed, giving me new thoughts on whether my values are as absolute as I
once thought. I also focused on the fact that many great philosophers such as Buddha and
Confucius lived during these times with a profound influence on the ideas of these nations.
The general motivation should make you want to read the book. If you dont genuinely want to
read the book, come up with more reasons it is attached to your deepest interests or it is going to be
a struggle to move through. You can find a general motivation for reading any book if you are
creative enough, so dont tell me you cant figure out one.
The second portion is to determine your specific motivation for reading. What are you specifically
looking for when reading the book. New ideas? A practical solution to a problem? An
understanding of a concept? A chance to flex your mental muscles? Figure out what you want to
get out of each reading session so your mind is primed to intake that knowledge.
If you are interested in improving your speed reading, I strongly suggest Breakthrough Rapid
Reading by Peter Kump. The book goes from beginner concepts that Ive detailed to even more
advanced ones that I have yet to master (such as reading several lines at once and reading
sentences backwards to save time on a pointer backstroke). Speed reading is definitely a
worthwhile skill and at the very least your friends will be impressed.
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recording the shows you feel are valuable to watch later. Ive done this before and it can be a big
time saver while still allowing you to enjoy some passive entertainment.
10. Web Surfing - Record your web usage for a day or two. Write down the sites you visited or
tools you used to get there (StumbleUpon, Digg, etc.) Figure out sites took up the most time and
which had the least value. Youd be surprised how often they are the same thing.
11. Spring Cleaning - Although its only a few weeks from summer, you can use this on any
organization attempt. Go through your items and trash all the items that you havent used recently
(except for important documents). Just because you have storage space, doesnt mean it should be
filled with garbage. Eliminate clutter and it becomes far easier to find and use the things you
actually need.
12. Clients/Customers - This one comes from Tim Ferriss, in the Four Hour Workweek. Figure
out which customers contribute the most complaints and the least revenue. Notify them that things
will need to change and set down some guidelines. Then fire the ones that dont comply. Goes
against the doctrine that the customer is always right, but some people just arent worth the trouble
they cause.
13. Hard Drive - Sort through your computer documents, comparing the last modified date for
various major folders. Create a separate folder system where you can move these rarely used files.
This will eliminate your computer clutter and make it far easier and faster to find the stuff you
actually use.
14. Desktop - Same thing as the hard-drive, but I do it every week or two. Just go through your
desktop and delete any short-cuts or move documents that havent been used in the last two weeks.
You dont have to completely eliminate everything, but it will make your desktop a more efficient
workspace.
15. Applications - Go through all your computer applications. Figure out which ones are
distracting and are either rarely used or contribute little value. Uninstall those. If this seems like
too much work, a complete computer reformat can get rid of the trash.
16. Home Appliances - Determine which appliances cause the most frustration, stress and break
down the most. Once youve done this you have three options: learn to use the tool better to
understand it and prevent stress, buy a new one or find a substitute that is less damage prone. Save
yourself the headache and 80/20 your lawnmower.
17. Budget - Calculate all your discretionary expenses (after taxes, food and necessities). Now
compare the money value of each expense with the utility of the purchase. If you wanted to
compare different entertainment items in your budget, you could value each expense on the
pleasure it brought you. If you wanted to compare different investments or tools you could
compare return rates or productivity gained.
18. Blogging - Classify the types of posts you write into different categories. Ive done this
grouping by, post length, subject, format, style, images, etc. Multiply each by the amount of time
to write each type of post. Then compare that data to your estimate of traffic gained from each.
Use this as a guide for future writing.
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19. Habits - Figure out which behaviours (or lack thereof) contribute the most to your life.
exercise? Rising Early? Family Dinners? Use this as a basis for making new habits.
20. Goals - It doesnt matter whether you have them written down or just in your head. Look at all
your goals and compare the resources required to accomplish each (time, money, energy, etc.) with
the benefits gained. Benefits could be physical rewards, purposeful work or emotional quality.
Pursue the goals with the highest value.
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However, what most people need is information that can be applied generally, but isnt always
obvious and that helps to avoid people conflicts, social errors and emotional upsets.
Here are the seven rules Im talking about:
Rule One: Never blame malice for what can easily be explained by conceit.
People dont care about you. This isnt because people are mean or hurtful, but simply because
they are mostly focused on themselves. Consider this hypothetical pie-chart showing the variety of
thoughts a typical person has:
In this example, 60% of thoughts are selfdirected. My goals. My problems. My feelings.
Another 30% are directed towards relationships,
but how they affect me. What does Julie think of
me? How will boss evaluate my performance in
the next review? Do my friends like me or see
me as irritating?
Only 10% in this model is time spent in
empathy. Empathy is the rare event where one
person actually feels the emotions, problems and
perspective of another person. Instead of asking
what Julie thinks of me, I ask what is Julie
thinking.
Within that 10%, most people then divide attention between hundreds of other people they know.
As a result, you would occupy a fraction of a percentage in most peoples minds, and only a couple
percentage points in a deeply bonded relationship. Even if you are in another persons thoughts, it is
how your relationship affects them, not you.
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Embarrassment doesnt make a lot of sense. Since others are only focusing a small portion of
there thoughts onto judging you, your self-judgement is overwhelmingly larger.
People who appear to be mean or hurtful dont usually do it intentionally. There are exceptions
to this, but generally the hurt you feel is a side-effect, not the principle cause.
3. Relationships are your job to maintain. Dont wait to be invited to parties or for people to
approach you.
2.
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How do you apply this rule? You understand the motives of people and appeal to them as if they
were selfish. Find ways to help people within these four categories. Dont expect people to offer
aid outside of selfish altruism, it isnt impossible, but it isnt likely.
Rule Four: People Have Poor Memories
Ever been told someones name at a party and then forgot it later? Another rule of human
behaviour is that people have trouble remembering things. Especially information (as youll recall
in rule one) that doesnt apply to themselves. People are more likely to remember your similarities
than your differences (unless they were emotionally incensed by them).
Recently I even broke this rule. I made arrangements to talk to a person I hadnt met before on the
phone. Even with my normally foolproof system of calendars and to-do lists, a few spontaneous
schedule changes caused me to miss the call. I quickly apologized and made a new arrangement.
But the fact is most people dont have organized GTD systems. People are forgetful by nature, so
once again, dont assume malice or disinterest if something is forgotten. The other side of this rule
is that you can demonstrate reliability by having a good memory or system (if it doesnt fail you).
Rule Five: Everyone is Emotional
Perhaps this is an exaggeration. But the core of the message is that people tend to have stronger
feelings about something than they let on. People who regularly have outbursts of anger,
depression or flamboyant enthusiasm are generally frowned upon in most cultures. This especially
applies to men (for women trying to figure us out).
The application of this rule is to not assume everything is fine just because someone isnt having a
nervous breakdown. We all have our individual problems, angst and upsets that are normally
contained. You dont need to call people out on their private deception, but being sensitive to those
underlying currents gives you an advantage in trying to help.
The alternate application of this rule is similar to rule two. People generally assume everything is
fine unless you just had a blow-up.
Rule Six: People are Lonely
This is another broad generalization. But it is amazing how many people who seem to have it all,
suffer from bouts of loneliness. As social animals, I believe people are especially sensitive to any
threats to becoming ostracized. In Neanderthal times, exile meant death, so loneliness and the
desire to be with other people is a strong one.
The application of this rule is that loneliness is fairly common, so in that sense, you really arent
alone. I used to be bothered when I felt alone or an outsider in a social group. Although Im still
human, Ive found recognizing this feeling to be fairly common as a way to minimize it.
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The Secret
The Secret is a film that was produced by Prime Time Productions. It is actually a series of films
that focus on the idea of The Law Of Attraction. The principle is that under the Law of
Attraction the things that people feel and think attract real things in life. It stems from the cosmos
to the personal relationships people form with people. The belief is that these things target
physical, emotional, and professional aspects of every persons life, whether they understand it or
not.
Ask : Know what you want and ask the universe for it.
This is where you need to get clear on what it is you want to create and visualize what you want as
being as 'real' as possible.
Believe : Feel and behave as if the object of your desire is on its way.
Focus your thoughts and your language on what it is you want to attract. You want to feel the
feeling of really 'knowing' that what you desire is on its way to you, even if you have to trick
yourself into believing it do it.
Receive : Be open to receiving it.
Pay attention to your intuitive messages, synchronicities, signs from the Universe to help you
along the way as assurance you are on the 'right' path. As you align yourself with the Universe and
open yourself up to receiving, the very thing you are wanting to manifest will show up.
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Look at each aspect of your life and identify what you want or desire in the following areas.
Relationships:
What kind of relationships do you want to create with God, with your parents, children, friends,
co-workers, wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, and most importantly, yourself? How do you
attract the type of relationships that you want with the people in your life? How would your life
change if your relationships were closer, more intimate, less judgmental, more trusting, and more
loving?
Healthy Body and Lifestyle:
What do you want your body to look like? How do you want to feel? What do you want to weigh?
Do you want to live a healthy lifestyle? Do you want to live a long life? Do you have exercise
goals? Do you want to have healthy eating habits?
Finances and Abundance:
Do you want to save more money? Do you want to reduce debt? Do you want to increase your
income? Do you want to create other sources of income? Do you want to have a new house, car,
piano, boat, or other things?
Self-Improvement / Awareness:
Do you want a better awareness of who you are; why you do the things you do; think, the thoughts,
you think about; react in the way you do; judge yourself and others; are highly motivated in some
things, but lethargic in others? Do you want to take classes, workshops, seminars? Do you want to
finally get the degree, diploma, certificate, or credentials you have been thinking about? Do you
want to read more books on subjects for which you have a passion?
Hobbies / Entertainment / Fun:
What hobbies do you have now that you want to become better at? What hobbies would you like to
begin; gardening, chess, painting, reading, collecting (coins, stamps, comic books, cookbooks,
etc)? What would you like to do for fun and entertainment: Attend a live performance featuring
your favourite bands, fish, or travel? What would you like to learn to do for fun: Ballroom
dancing, golf, tennis, play an instrument? What would you like to do just once in your life: Jump
out of an airplane, talk in front of a large group? Do you want to travel and experience nature,
different cultures and scenery?
Passions / Purpose:
What are your passions? What is your purpose in life? An easy way to identify this is to look at
what you fantasize about or do in your spare time because you want to do it or love to do it. If you
have a garden in your back yard and you really enjoy the hard work of maintaining a garden, then
that is a passion of yours. If you play tennis, golf or bowl on the weekends, then that is a passion of
yours. If you enjoy babysitting your granddaughter, or fixing things around the house, or finding
new recipes to cook fun special meals, then that is a passion of yours.
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Once we get past the belief that we can have only one passion or only one purpose in life, it is
easier to see that we have many passions and the only work we have to do is to make time for
them, be present while we arc doing them, and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! Our purpose in life is to live to
our potential, experience love and life to the fullest, become aware of whom we are and be true to
our soul. Whatever form that takes in your life is right for you.
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Starting at the top, where the star points toward the sky. This I refer to as the SPIRITUAL direction
which represents the gift of UNITY. This is where the mystical nature of love resides, it is where
you will discover whether there is a real bond between the two of you or not. Unity means that
something makes both people feel that they rather be together than apart, they both believe that
when they are together they are like "one". Unity is used to describe what happens when people
bond and experience the world differently; they are no longer just two individuals but, have become
a unit, a pair, a couple. Now they look at the world differently and the world sees them differently as
well. This is a social archetype, a religious one, and a legal one when two people get married. We
become aware of this notion of being a couple from childhood, hopefully growing up in a "family"
ourselves. The concepts of love, family, marriage, romance, happiness exist throughout every aspect
of our society, in every culture, across every nation and around the world. The images that these
words create are similar regardless where one looks. So why is it so hard to find and build a
successful partnership of love and happiness? There are many reasons that make it truly difficult but,
no one can claim that it is impossible.
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Anyone can find UNITY, love and happiness. It would help if you would have a map of how to get
there. The STAR holds all the keys you need to find your way. The reason UNITY is at the top is
that it is the "lifting" energy for a relationship. It may be true that what attracts two people together
is often their physical appearance, some sort of instinctual drive gets engaged but, soon after getting
"close" both individuals look at each other and begin to ask more serious questions: "Could I live the
rest of my life with that person, do I really love them?" and that starts the mystical inquiry about
becoming bonded to the other person. That is when UNITY becomes so important. The best thing
two people can find is 'love at first sight' when both feel the excitement of attraction equally.
One arm of the STAR refers to NURTURANCE. The meaning of this term is found in how each
person takes care of the other with respect to their physical needs, emotional ones as well as the
material and spiritual needs. Love awakens this urge for you to either be "maternal" or "paternal" as
the case may toward your partner. The key word here is nurturing, sharing responsibilities and
helping each other achieve more in life. True love creates a desire in both individuals to support
each other through all walks of life. This does not necessarily have to be along traditional lines
rather, it often requires that both people seek unique and special ways to make their partner happy,
healthy, safe and prosperous. More than anything else if we become aware of our mate's potentials
then it is up to us to help them strive for and reach those potentials. Nurturance refers to the
direction we push and pull our love in. Everyone needs a push or a pull sometime, especially if it is
from your partner.
The next arm refers to the aspect of SHARING in the joys and pains of life from the level of the
mind, body and spirit. This reflects both individual's ability and desire to look at the world through
each others eyes, especially in terms of the past, present and future. The key word is shared vision.
This is what makes each partner feel special and valuable to the other. It is one's interest in their
opinion, their experience of life that helps you feel whole and satisfied. This aspect is expressed
through our curiosity about how our partner sees, hears or feels something. It is not necessary that
we share similar views but that both partners have a genuine interest in the other's experience.
However, it is important that we share similar dreams and goals for the future. In this manner both
partners participate in the construction of the world they live in and this allows for celebration of life
and that makes the difficult moments pass by more easily.
Then one leg of the star refers to COMPATIBILITY this aspect reveals how many ways two people
fit together, first of all in body - how great is their sexual chemistry, then socially, intellectually,
financially, emotionally, and spiritually. When two people have really great energy together, they
rarely get bored or tired of each other, there is a constant stream of excitement between them.
Compatibility refers to this sense of how well two people mix together, especially in making love,
that is where we hopefully experience the exhilaration of that instinctual passion for life. Chemistry
is physically manifested in love making, this is where the connection can be most concrete. There
are many important factors. In general, the appetite and passion are either in synch or not. The
questions are "how much sex" does each of you want - need, on a monthly basis; and secondly, does
the passion match both partners. If there are big differences in these two aspects, then don't fool
yourself thinking that you have great chemistry, it may not really be.
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The other leg of the star refers to FULFILLMENT which represents the things we do for love's sake
that promote a sense achievement within the relationship. In our everyday life we try to master the
situation, we want to dominate to overcome but in a relationship it is more often a matter to make
the other person happy to please them. The key word
here is SURRENDER to your partner with the
expectation that it will express your sense of love for
them. It is not a matter of compromise, which has its
place in the other aspects of the love star, here
surrender refers to the complete giving in to the
other's needs or desires for the sake of love. When
one surrenders it is not always easy but it should be
with joy, to fulfil the other partner's deepest needs.
This aspect also represents each partner's confidence
to rely on one another, to be comfortable depending
on each other. With this aspect the relationship is
assured the survival through all sorts of difficulties.
All together, this represents the love star, and when
each of these directions is satisfied among two people
then they obviously share a tremendous partnership.
If both agree that they fit together, that each aspect is
present and fulfilled then they have the necessary ingredients to make their love work and enjoy a
lasting relationship. These are rare. Even if one believes that they share every thing with their
partner, this means that they have the potential to succeed. A great relationship requires a lot of work
and time, something people these days are not always eager to invest enough of. Once these basic
qualities are fulfilled then begins a life of passion, joy, adventure, excitement, tranquillity, love and
family. Good luck!
Counselling can help both partners better appreciate what you can be grateful
for and be aware of what is missing. That information is vital to decide what to
do, if possible, improve the relationship or if not, work to dissolve it amicably. I
have helped many couples resolve their conflicts and find greater happiness. I
have also given my support to the couples who determined that they cannot go
on and must change their relationship. These are the most sensitive issues and
difficult things we must deal with. I have the experience to help you better
understand and deal with your relationship. Call my office to discuss your
situation to see if you would like to have me help you work on it.
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Affirmations
I am grateful for discovering the best means to reach my dreams and goals.
I realize that I am ready to enjoy life to the fullest and find peace of mind.
When I focus my attention on positive possibilities I achieve the best solutions.
I am glad to be finding ways to improve my physical and emotional well being.
I am grateful that I was born with many gifts and talents for me to share.
Each day I learn new ways to create and express my unique abilities.
Every day I celebrate my growing confidence and determination to succeed!
When I do worthy things I earn the respect of others and feel good.
By utilizing my rational mind together with my intuition I make greater progress.
As I express my gratitude, I can envision the goals I am achieving.
Moving forward and upward everyday symbolizes the joy of my destiny.
I take advantage of every opportunity to realize my true potentials.
I am grateful to be inspired to achieve my ultimate goals in this life.
It is great to feel the energy with a clear vision to see the path to my goals.
My motivation and determination constantly push me to reach my goals.
I am glad my mind has the ability to focus and concentrate on my purpose.
It is amazing how powerful my mind is when I work deliberately on my future.
I am confident that my life is automatically attracted to what is good for me.
Everything I decide to do has an important reason and purpose.
I value my time very highly and use every minute effectively.
Love is the source of my strength and happiness.
Whenever I smile my face lights up with positive energy!
My questions always direct me to achieve the most in the long run.
Each day I learn new ways to create and express my unique abilities.
Everyday I take the time to exercise, rest, eat right and cleanse myself.
I am glad to attract the most interesting, powerful and caring people into my life!
I accept my challenges as great lessons to motivate me to reach my goals.
I appreciate the outstanding qualities I was born with.
I recognize that I am a unique and very special person!
Today I observe my progress in fulfilling my plans and dreams!
I am grateful to have been inspired to achieve my ultimate goals in this life.
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This is a great leap forward the individual is beginning to realize that other people are
important, and that the ways other people see the world are important but it's not remotely as
powerful an outlook as the next level up, the third level.
At the third level, the central question is not about how I feel, or about how others feel about me,
but about how they feel about themselves. That might seem like a small step forward, but it can't
be overestimated. Think about a sales situation at the first level, the seller is focused on doing a
good job on her own terms; at the second level, she's focused on making a good impression on the
sales prospect. But at the third level, the salesperson herself might as well be invisible, because she
has no interest in looking good, but only in helping the sales prospect look good in his own eyes,
and reach his own goals.
Or think about that teenager who doesn't want to go to school. The teen wakes up and says "I don't
feel well" at level one. At level two, he's able to hear a parent say "you don't look sick to me." But
at the third level, he's asking about how other people feel and discovers the best possible motive to
get out of bed into the world: "other people are depending on me today." The motive to get up and
out is not about what matters to me, but what matters to others.
In this is some irony, and some magic. Once you focus on others in this way as a friend, as a
citizen, as a manager, as a colleague you find that you yourself benefit as much or more than
the others you're trying to help. Focusing on the sales prospect's needs instead of your own, you
eventually reap the benefits of greater sales more money, more respect, more confidence.
Focusing on getting up out of bed because you understand that you can help others and what a
transforming positive feeling that statement carries with it: I can help others you find that you
become healthier and happier. You help yourself as much as you help others, because your life
becomes infused with the purpose of doing good.
My grandfather is a wonderful example of this effect. A self-educated man, he worked most of his
life in jobs that did not satisfy his intellect or his desire to help others, but in his free time he was
devoted to political causes that he thought could improve the lives of many. He was a socialist and
an antiwar activist (though a veteran of World War II himself). Although some might argue that
the specifics of his plan for improving the world were misguided, his personal sacrifices to help
make positive change filled his life with a sense of purpose. I had the strong feeling that well into
his late eighties, he continued to wake up in the morning and get out of bed in order to strike a
blow against war, injustice, and poverty every day. That kept him healthy and engaged with the
world while many others his age slipped out of touch. But my grandfather had a reason to live and
to stay strong: he felt he was needed, and that he could help others.
A woman I know in New Hampshire has a similar story to tell. She calls herself a community
activist, having worked for years to get the local government in her town to provide more services
for young families and their children. She's spearheaded drives to create a free day-care centre, to
offer medical services for small children, and to give parents a safe and comfortable public place to
bring their children when the long New England winter drags on. Sundays, she sets up out front of
the local churches with her folding table, raising money and getting signatures on petitions.
Weekdays, she sets up in front of schools and the one big food market in her small town. Everyone
knows her, and she's got no shortage of critics as well as staunch friends in small New England
towns, there tend to be plenty of sceptics about providing public services, especially if they require
tax dollars to be spent. But this energetic woman, a mother of two young children, says she loves
her enemies. "Two things that motivate me," she says, "are helping the little boys and girls who
need the basics and don't necessarily get them at home, and proving to those folks who don't think
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we ought to do more that of course we ought to do more. And I say this: thank goodness for those
fools who don't want to help! They keep me fighting. If I didn't have such good and proper
enemies, how would I know I was on the right track?"
She gets a good head of steam going as she talks. Clearly, this is a woman who sees her life as
filled with important work. She is a hero in her own eyes she's got to be strong to help the
children in her area, and so she is strong. Cause and effect. Because she asks herself the
fundamental level-three questions every day How are others living? What do they think of as
their greatest needs? she's reaching ambitious goals, making an enormous contribution to the
lives of others, and filling her life with high purpose.
The Story of Ed and Fred: Tuning in to What Other People Care About Most
We all want to be our own heroes, and hear our own stories. If you grasp this truth, you can use it
to reach your own goals.
A famous story about the advertising business offers another glimpse of the way the three levels of
thinking work.
Two advertising managers are arguing about the size of the type in an ad they're planning to run in
a newspaper. One of them call him Ed wants to save money by using smaller size letters in
the ad. Smaller letters mean a smaller, less expensive ad overall. The other call him Fred
says, "You dope, you need big letters to catch people's attention. If we use smaller letters no one
will stop and read the ad." Ed says, "Nonsense. If your message is the right message and you say it
clearly, everyone will read the ad." Fred's not convinced. Ed proposes a wager: "I'll bet you a
thousand dollars I can run an ad in tomorrow's paper that you'll need a magnifying glass to read,
and no matter how hard you try, you won't be able to resist reading every last word." Fred smells
easy money and takes the bet. The next day, the paper comes out and there on the back page is a
block of tiny type. Fred laughs. "OK, pal," he says. "Pay up I'm not reading it. I couldn't even if
I wanted to the type's too small." "Well, OK, if you really think you won't. But you should
know what's in the ad. It's all about you. It's your life story." Try as he might, Fred could not resist,
and before the day was over he'd gone out and bought a magnifying glass and read all about
himself over and over again.
Fred was stuck at the first level of thinking he was in love with his own story, as most of us are.
Ed understood that and used his insight to win the bet and to save money on advertising by writing
ads that used insight into the three levels of thinking to save on space. If you have no insight, your
voice has to be loud to be heard and your ads need to be big. But if you have lots of insight,
your voice can be quieter and more civil, and your ads can be smaller and less expensive.
Ed was at the third level he understood that other people didn't want to hear about the products
he had to sell, or about him as a salesperson, but were consumed by their own concerns about
themselves and their own personal struggles. He asked the right level-three questions How do
other people look to themselves? What do they care about most? Ed understood that if he could
connect the sale of his products to those personal concerns, his ads would be more effective and
he'd sell more.
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The Story of Marty Edelston: How Second-Level Pride Hobbles the Critics of Successful People
This is the story of a successful businessman with no shortage of critics. But his critics were at
level one and level two. Marty was at level three. That's why the critics were working for Marty,
instead of the other way around.
I first heard the story of Ed and Fred from Marty Edelston, the founder of a company called
Boardroom, Inc. Boardroom publishes the newsletter Bottom Line/Personal, a title that has at
times had more than one million paid subscribers. I first went to work for Marty when I was
nineteen, and the experience was tremendous. It was a glimpse into big-time publishing and also a
fantastic exposure to a successful entrepreneur just hitting his stride as his company was reaching
sales of about $35 million a year. Marty is something of a legend in the publishing business, an
idiosyncratic man with an iron grip on all the details of his company, requiring personal approval
of every word published in his newsletters and books and signing off directly on just about every
dollar spent. Throughout the day, secretaries bring Marty healthy snacks of sliced fruit, which he
generally eats in the middle of meetings, with his fingers.
One of Marty's great talents is hiring bright and hungry people for key jobs. Many have publishing
experience in more traditional firms and some are put off by Marty's highly personal approach and
his total control of management at every level in the company.
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Another important ingredient to happiness is being in the moment. This is sometimes easier said
than done. It takes practice. Its easy to get lost in the thoughts about the past regrets, past guilt, or
wishing things were right now they way they were then. At the same time, anxieties and fears
about the future is no way to live either. All you really have and can feel happy about is this
moment right now.
Recognize that happiness is a choice you make. It is not an end result. It is part of the process. You
dont achieve happiness because of something. You simply are happy or you dont. If you havent
felt happy in awhile, ask yourself, What am I thinking about? Be honest.
Accept others realities, even if it isnt true for you. Recognize that it is their opinion. Having this
high level of acceptance will make a huge difference in your level of happiness. No one and
nothing else can choose how you feel.
Discipline yourself to be happy. Do something to lift your spirits each day. You have to raise your
own vibration.
A young man once came to meet me in Jerusalem. He had an unusually happy disposition, so I
asked him what's his secret. He told me:
"When I was 11 years old, I received a gift of happiness from God.
"I was riding my bicycle when a strong gust of wind blew me onto the ground into the path of an
oncoming truck. The truck ran over me and cut off my leg.
"As I lay there bleeding, I realized that I might have to live the rest of my life without a leg. How
depressing! But then I realized that being depressed won't get my leg back. So I decided right then
and there not to waste my life despairing.
"When my parents arrived at the hospital they were shocked and grieving. So I told them: 'I've
already adapted. Now you also have to get used to this.'
"Ever since then, I see my friends getting upset over little things: their bus came late, they got a
bad grade on a test, somebody insulted them. But I just enjoy life."
Sounds simple, doesn't it? So why are so many people unhappy?
At age 11, this young man attained the clarity that it is a waste of energy to focus on what you are
missing. And that the key to happiness is to take pleasure in what you have. Sounds simple, doesn't
it? So why are so many people unhappy?
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Judaism says: "Happiness is not a happening. Happiness is a state of mind. You can have
everything in the world and still be miserable. Or you can have relatively little and feel unbounded
joy.
"Who is rich? The one who appreciates what he has." (Talmud - Pirkei Avot 4:1)
Once you master the art of noticing, appreciating and consciously enjoying what you already have,
then you will always be happy.
(c) 2007 Victoria Wizell All Rights Reserved
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Misconception #2:
"If I become content and satisfied with what I have, I'll lose my motivation to achieve more."
Happiness doesn't drain your energy. It adds more!
Ask a happy person: "I have a boat. Do you want to go fishing?"
He'll say: "Great! Let's go!"
Now ask someone who is depressed: "C'mon, let's go fishing!"
He says, "I'm tired. Maybe tomorrow. And anyway, it might rain..."
Happy people are energetic and ambitious. There's never enough time to do everything they want
to do.
Misconception #3:
Happiness is optional. If I want to be depressed, that's my own prerogative
A beautiful Sunday afternoon. You're at the park having a picnic with your friends.
Suddenly the air is pierced by one person complaining: "Who forgot the forks? It's too hot for
volleyball. I want to go home already.">
You have an obligation to be happy when your mood is negatively affecting others. Don't spoil the
fun.
We all try to put on a happy face when we're at a party. But what about when we are at home, with
our kids? Or when we trudge into the office on Monday morning?
Like an open pit in the middle of the road, a sour puss is a public menace.
Being happy is part of being considerate to the people around us.
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your DNA,
your emotions,
your thoughts.
This energy is limitless in potential. However the amount that you receive is limited by your
openness. The energy comes into you through your own funnel. Your funnel is determined by
your emotional state.
If you make your funnel tight and narrow, meaning you are down or fearful, you will experience;
little energy,
little motivation,
little capability,
little happiness.
If your funnel is wide and expansive, you will be happy. And you'll have all the energy,
capabilities and motivation to fulfil your vision.
It is in our most joyful moments that we are able to care about others.
It is then that we have the energy, motivation and strength to turn our dreams into reality.
The best thing we can do;
for ourselves
for others,
for the world is to be happy.
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As a result of these attacks the blueprint, or design, from which new cells are made becomes
slightly distorted. So the new cells develop to be slightly different to the original design for the
body.
In effect then the new body is alien to the original DNA blueprint. So ageing occurs when the body
begins to live according to a different design to that which is natural for it.
In the short term, we become sick when something alien to us, such as a disease, invades our body.
Many of the symptoms of a disease are the side effects of our body working to protect us.
For example, we experience a temperature as our immune system mobilizes to attack the invader.
The temperature is not caused by the disease, but by our bodys reaction to the disease.
Happiness is the emotional aspect of health.
We become unhappy when we take on something that is alien to us.
When we say something, or act in a way, that is not really true to us we become unhappy. We
experience unhappiness in a number of ways. Sometimes it is anger or frustration, other times it is
anxiety.
All are the emotional equivalent of a disease or illness.
Our emotions are not caused by events that happen to us, but by our reaction to the events
that happen to us.
Our happiness and emotional health comes under attack whenever we think, speak or act
something that is not really true to our natural design. Just as with our physical health, we are
continually attacked by many invading aliens. These include;
The pressure to conform to Societys, groups and organizational rules.
Expectations of ourselves, and others, to live up to certain standards.
Fitting into pre-designed roles, which restrict, confine and limit our expression of our true
individuality.
My definition of happiness is a natural outcome of being yourself. It is having complete integrity.
Everything that you think, matches with what you say, which matches with what you do.
-
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We can also see this approach used in business. When a business, or an individual, is successful,
they are analyzed and observed for clues to their success. Then hundreds of writers spew out
articles, reports and books advocating some new fad.
However what works for one business, worked because it fitted in with;
- their strategy,
- their employees,
- their marketplace
and all the other elements.
Along come thousands of other businesses in entirely different situations copying someone else's
tactics and then getting frustrated when they do not get the same results.
There are no ways to happiness... And yet every route can be a path to happiness. Happiness is a
choice in every instant.
If you follow any of anyone else's ways to happiness, you will always be settling for less happiness
than you could experience.
Happiness is a unique experience that must be reached in a unique way. This doesn't mean that you
can't learn from the experience of others. However when a choice has to be made between your
path, your choice and that of another, always choose your way.
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If the wrong film were playing on the screen you would not start trying to make changes to the
screen.
Its clear to you that the source of the film is not the screen. You would change the video or DVD.
Yet in life we continually try to change the outer world. When we feel insecure we try to make
more money, build new relationships or buy insurance to make ourselves feel safer.
When we feel unhappy we try to buy new things, change things around or move to be around new
things or new people.
This rarely works for long because our feelings are created, not by things around us, but by
thoughts... our perception of what is happening around us.
Our feelings are from our inner world and things are from our outer world. The link is indirect...
and so the outer world is an indirect, slow and complex way of changing how we feel.
The solution to achieving a happy life as with many solutions is so simple that we cannot
understand or believe it. We are always searching for the high tech, the complex and impressive
solutions, but ignore the simple truth.
Happiness comes from feelings, not from things we buy to make us happy. We have become so
ingrained in seeking happiness indirectly that we do not always understand the difference between
being happy for the short-term and long term.
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This is why all the world engages in the pursuit of happiness, yet few achieve more than fleeting
glances at it.
All the things that we want, whether it is a great fortune or saintliness. Are all motivated, at their
source by one thing: The desire for happiness.
Even those who shun happiness, such as ascetics, do so in the pursuit of happiness. Just a different
definition of happiness... and a different timescale.
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We choose the thirty second sound bite over the deeper insight contained in the longer article.
We choose anothers suggestions rather than making the effort to find our own solutions.
We choose the comfort of conformity over the bravery of authenticity.
At times we try to lessen our pain and emptiness... By;
drinking
taking drugs
keeping busy
shopping
or otherwise distracting ourselves, we are taking the emotional equivalent of a painkiller.
That is not to say that painkillers do not have their place. Everything has a place in the world. But
their place is not to create health.
Authentic happiness can never be bought, given or copied. It can only be chosen.
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What is your intent in holding that belief? What is your intent in thinking that way? What is your
intent in doing what you do? Most can't answer. Winners can. More importantly, winners are
always asking themselves, "what is my intended result for this chosen action, thought or way of
being?".
Purpose:
This is so simple it is almost ludicrous... a life without a defined and stated purpose is a life of no
purpose and no meaning.
Winners have a purpose. Losers do not. Winners live a life of purpose and 'on purpose'. Losers live
accidentally; victims of circumstance instead of creators of circumstance. The sooner you write
down the succinct and true purpose of your life, the sooner you will discover success, happiness
and personal fulfilment.
Important caveat: your purpose does not have to be altruistic or measure up to anyone's standards
except your own. It can be entirely selfish.
Passion:
Passion is that fuel that drives you. Passion is also what attracts to you the people and resources
that you need to achieve your success.
Passion is magnetic. Desire is the metaphysical equivalent of gravity. It draws to you the elements
that you need to succeed. Passionate people attract followers and supporters. Winners are
passionate! ! ! ! !
Plan:
You've heard before. You've read it many times. Every personal empowerment teacher says it...
You must have specific and written goals and a step-by-step plan to enact those goals.
Every business needs a business plan. Your life needs a plan. You must create it. As Ben Franklin
pointed out, "Failing to plan is planning to fail." Winners have a game plan. Losers are spectators
and armchair quarterbacks. Do you have written goals?
Do you have a specific game plan?
Resolve:
It is persistence that creates winners. It takes resolve to reach the top.
There will be obstacles in your path and impediments to your success. Losers allow themselves to
be defeated by these barriers. Winners use them to build up strength and/or to learn a better way to
do something. I see it all the time... people quit just before the finish line. They lose focus and
direction.
Winners persist. Losers desist.
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Responsibility:
Ask yourself this question, "Why don't I have all the prosperity, happiness, success and fulfilment
that I desire?"
If you blame any condition, circumstance, event, person or external thing, then you are a loser.
Winners accept responsibility. Losers assess blame.
Step up to the plate and accept responsibility for your life and you will become the winner that you
desire to be in your secret heartfelt moments. The wonderful part about accepting responsibility for
your failures is that you also get to accept responsibility for your successes. You don't have to say
that you were lucky or blessed or had the right breaks... you can say, "I did this."
Words:
The words you speak and the way you speak them tell a lot about you. They tell the world what
you believe, what you think, where you have been, who you hang around with and where you are
likely to end up.
Below average people talk about other people; average people talk about events and
circumstances. above average people (winners) talk about ideas and ideals (especially their own).
Winners say what they mean and mean what they say. Losers say what they think will please
others or repeat what they have been told.
Actions:
And yes, actions speak louder than words. The things you do are a reflection of your character.
Most people tend to do what most others do, in some sort of wilful ignorance of the plain fact that
most people live mediocre lives and never achieve the success they had idealized for themselves.
Actions produces results.
If you want uncommon results, you must undertake to act uncommonly on purpose, with intent,
with responsibility, with persistence, with resolve, with passion and according to your plan.
Do what you love. Do what you will.
Peers:
Birds of a feather do flock together.
If you want to be a winner, hang out with winners. Create your own 'mastermind group'. Try to be
involved with people who are smarter than you, more successful than you, have greater aspirations
than you. If you can't do it in person, read their books or read their biographies or visit their
websites.
Losers like to hang around with other losers, not just because misery loves company, but because
their self-esteem is not threatened by comparison to their peers. If you can find the way to love
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yourself enough to always have a high level of self-esteem, then you won't need to compare
yourself to others.
Winners believe in themselves. Losers believe in the world around them.
So now you know my secret to be able to predict the future.
All I need to know about a person is:
1- Who they hang around with,
2- What they do day-to-day,
3- The way they speak and what they say,
4- Whether or not they assume responsibility or assess blame,
5- Whether or not they have the resolve (the stick-to-it-tive-ness) to overcome obstacles,
6- If they have a plan to live by,
7- A passion for life and their plans,
8- A self-designed purpose to live for,
9- If they act intentionally or in reaction, and,
10- What their overall attitude is to life and their part in it.
Now that you know, you don't need me, or some gypsy tea leaf reader, to predict your future.
The GREAT good news is that, if you discover, through this self-analysis, that you do not have
these 10 necessary characteristics of winners, you can change the way you are and the things you
do. So there it is... your destiny is yours, by design or by default. It is up to you.
Richard Gorham is the founder and President of Leadership-Tools, Inc. His web site,
http://www.leadership-tools.com is dedicated to providing free tools and resources for today's
aspiring leaders. Offering high-quality tools in the areas of Business Planning, Leadership
Development, Customer Service, Sales Management and Team Building.
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12 ELEMENTS OF SUCCESS
There are twelve necessary elements involved in achieving success:
1. Spend daily time in reflection, contemplation, meditation, stillness and silence. Ground
yourself in self-awareness.
Since all that exists arises out of the infinite, you should get intimate with the infinite so you can
have what you want. Meditation connects you the greater aspects of your self and also to the
divine.
Learn to meditate and then develop the discipline to do it daily; make it a habit, like brushing your
teeth.
Contemplation of one's own internal self and of the external world will lead to wisdom.
2. Gain control of your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual bodies.
Stop allowing your self to get yanked around by other people, by your culture, by events or
circumstances. You are you. You own your self. Take control.
Think what you want. Feel how you want. Believe what you decide is best for you.
Create you own ideals. Define your own purpose. Then, live that purpose.
3. Develop a strong self-image. Learn to love yourself.
Get to know yourself. You are an exceptional individual. You are unique in the whole universe.
You are special. You are sacred. Know who you are and then, love who you are.
Self-love is not egocentrism; it is simply the acknowledgement of your sacredness.
4. Think for yourself. Opt out of mass consciousness. Utilize your creative imagination.
Look around you. If you want to be average, to be the norm, then think like everyone else. If you
want more out of life, then learn to think for yourself.
Don't allow your culture to become your cult. Program your self.
5. Set your goals. Create your own game plan. WRITE IT DOWN.
Write down your goals. Define them. Affirm them.
If you fail to make a plan, then you might as well plan to fail.
Let's take a look at some research two university studies about written goals. The results will
astound you and, hopefully, convince you to begin now to write down your own goals.
In 1984, a follow up study was done on the Harvard Business School graduating class of 1964. All
members of the class stated that they had had, at graduation, clear goals to accomplish in life.
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Only 5% of the 1964 class had taken the time to write down their goals. 95% of this group had
achieved those written goals 20 years later.
Of the 95% who did not bother to write down their goals in 1964, only 5% had achieved their
expected goals.
Even Harvard graduates only succeed when they plan to succeed and then commit their plans to
writing.
The Harvard study was preceded by an earlier study done by Yale University.
This study found that only 3% of the 1953 graduating class had written goals.
Twenty years later, in 1973, this 3% of the Yale graduates had accomplished more than the other
97% combined.
Set your ideals, clarify your goals and then write them down. Carry them with you. Refer to them
often. Map your progress. Plan to succeed.
6. Do what needs to be done. Develop self-discipline.
Become your own disciple. Don't allow yourself to become distracted or to become too lazy to do
what is necessary to achieve your goal.
Develop the discipline to be what you need to be, do what you need to do in order to have what
you want to have.
7. Be of service. Think win/win. Find a way to create success or happiness for others.
People succeed by giving others what they want. 'Find a need or want and then fill it' is an old
truism of business. Examine your own ideals.
Are there others who hold the same desires?
Find a way to give others what is in tune with your shared ideals and you will prosper.
8. Educate yourself, then use, apply what you know. Applied knowledge is power.
Get wise. Apply what you learn to your life. Many people know the secrets of happiness and
success but don't apply them and are confused by the lack of harmony in their lives.
9. Be visionary. Think ahead. Use the past. Live in the moment.
Create the future. Use your imagination. Become a visionary.
Turn off your television and turn on your inner vision.
Learn from others' successes. Learn from others' failures.
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Everything you see was created in the past. Use the past but don't let it use you.
Live fully in this present moment. Imagine your ideal future. Make it real.
10. Use your time wisely. Live a balanced life. Be, do, have.
Remember to take time to play.
It encourages both halves of your brain to function so that your mind can inhabit and function in a
bigger space. Plan, rehearse and then execute.
Don't just spend all your time doing, without first being.
Frenetic activity is the sign of those who choose to work hard instead of smart.
It is those who spend as much time being and thinking as doing, those for whom 'work is play' that
succeed.
11. Speak your truth. Live your word. Say what you mean, mean what you say.
Above average people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and below average
people talk about other people.
Talk about your truth, your ideals, what you desire to see manifest.
Don't spend too much time talking about what is already manifest, what already exists. That just
makes you average. Allow other people to live their lives. Don't waste your time talking about
them.
You may be advised not to talk about yourself. Don't listen. It is bad advice. Speak always, first
and foremost, your own truth. Otherwise, you'll end up living somebody else's.
12. Enjoy the journey. Be here now. Be in the present moment. Be a spiritual being.
Happiness does not come tomorrow with the rising of the sun. It is only available now in each
present moment.
Slow down enough to enjoy this moment and each that follow will bring their own reward. Be
grateful for all that you have right here, right now. You will end up having more to be grateful for
in the next moment. Develop that attitude of gratitude.
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13 BE the success you want to be now. Play the part to make that the new norm. true to yourself.
present in every moment for yourself and for those around you. To be in this sense is an
action. It means you are actively present and in the role of yourself. Being means you are not
lost in the past or in the future.
14 LOVE those people around you. those who support you. your family. your friends. yourself. To
love is to open yourself up to those who are close to you and ultimately to everyone.
15 FOCUS your efforts on your priorities, your goals, and your plans. To focus means your
energies are not wasted or spread too thin.
16 LEARN daily. To learn is to honour the capacity we all have within our minds. To learn
exercises our muscle of thought.
17 BALANCE your life for you, your family, your work, the world. To balance is to recognize
your boundaries and to act in a way to not cross them.
18 RELAX your body. your mind. To relax is the act of allowing our minds to catch up and
organize themselves. To relax allows rest for our muscle of thought.
19 EMBRACE your fear as a necessary part of success. change as the vehicle for new opportunity.
new people as just that ? people. To embrace is a hug that is comforting yet confident.
20 OBSERVE the world around you. the people around you. what you see, hear, taste, small, and
feel. what your gut tells you. what your mind is thinking. the power of a relaxed, rested mind
To observe is the willingness to be taught about your world and those people and things in it.
To receive the 21st and most important Action to Ignite Your Success, please subscribe to Food for
Thought, our newsletter that will make you stop and think.
Go to http://www.mindscape.ca/subscription21.htm
Paul has always researched and studied the fields of human performance and personal &
professional development. As an engineer, Paul is extremely interested in how things work - the
mind being one of the most fascinating. Paul has lived a life of opportunity and abundance, which
has included living and working overseas in Africa and the Caribbean. He is a retired I.T.
consultant and executive, a husband and father of 2 boys, and has conquered marathons, triathlons,
and Mount Kilimanjaro. This wide background of experience has all supported his research. Paul
lives a life of success by practicing the Mindscape Principles.
For more information on Paul Frazer, his company Mindscape, his speaking programs, his book
Stop, Drop & Re-Balance: A Self Renewal Manual or to contact him please call him at 613-2643791 or visit his website at:
http://www.mindscape.ca/
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The author Holds a Masters degree in Agricultural Sciences and is cofounder of an organization
involved in Nature conservation and sustainable development. The author can be reached at
uravikumar@yahoo.com Visit http://www.geocities.com/uravikumar for more information on
Kolleru lake.
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Keep your mind in the moment don't let it wonder to negative discourse. Focus your attention on
your vision of success. With a resolute attitude you are well on your way.
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The very best performers in sport and in business are only marginally better than their closest
competitors and these slight margins make all the difference between winning and losing.
Aim to make marginal improvements in your ability to communicate with confidence and your
results will improve dramatically. Now would be a great time to get started!
3 Say what you mean and mean what you say
Mark Twain famously commented that common sense is not that common and today sincerity and
honesty are far from common either.
You can stand out from the crowd by making a point of saying what you mean instead of saying
what you think people want to hear. Insincerity is a game you can never win as you are always
living in fear of getting caught out.
If you follow through on what you say people will respect you for your integrity and you will be
known and appreciated as someone who can be counted on.
Be unusual -- hold yourself to a high standard of integrity and commit to saying what you mean
and doing what you say you will.
When you live like this each day other people develop confidence in you and in what you say. And
success in the world gets a whole lot easier with a team of people who believe in you paving the
road ahead.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10
Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a
limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
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Once you have answered these questions write them down as if you have already accomplished
your goal.
Start in this manner.
Figure out where you want your life to be 5 years from now. Don't hold back, this is the part where
you figure out what your dreams are, what your ultimate goal is. To clearly understand this point
we are going to use a real life story of how someone can accomplished his/her dreams.
Let's take Adrian's 5 year dream for example, and let's help him figure out how he can accomplish
his dreams.
Realistically speaking, there's no possible way that Adrian can afford to accomplish his dreams
within 5 years, because in 5 years he will have only made $95,000.
In order to achieve his goals he requires an additional $235,000, which would in turn require an
additional 12 years working at the factory, not to mention his daily, and monthly expenses like
Rent, Food, Bills, etc.
Adrian, the optimist that he is doesn't allow the fact that he needs an additional $235,000 minimum
to stop him from accomplishing his dreams. Adrian has a vision -- Let's fast forward for a second,
shall we... The date is March 7th, 2008.
Adrian just came back with his wife from vacation, where they were visiting Brazil for 1 full year.
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As they arrive at their house, they see their Cadillac Escalade, and their 2007 BMW parked in their
driveway. They are tired from the long flight and decide to go relax in their Jacuzzi found in their
back yard. The Jacuzzi is just a few feet away from their swimming pool.
As you have guessed it, Adrian no longer works at the Coca Cola factory, because if he did he
wouldn't have over 1 Million dollars in his bank account.
Most importantly, Adrian is happy to be alive and well as he now enjoys a luxurious lifestyle.
Adrian has accomplished his goals and dreams, and is now living the life that he deserves, the life
he has always wanted.
Life is Good!
Adrian knew that before he could accomplish his dreams, he had to have a clear vision of where he
wanted to be, and who he wanted to become.
Adrian knew that his job at the factory was not going to cut it, and was not going to provide the
type of income that he deserved, therefore he began to research elsewhere.
Adrian began researching the Internet in hopes of starting his own business.
Since Adrian didn't have much time to design his own products, nor the resources to start up a
company from scratch. He began researching for companies that could help him generate extra
income.
After failing over and over again, he stumbled upon a site that was going to help him create
guaranteed monthly income. Since Adrian was new to the Internet he didn't know much marketing
strategies, nor did he have any know how on where to begin. He than began to learn, follow, and
apply the marketing strategies found in the company's marketing plan.
Over the next few months Adrian began creating a healthy secondary income, and eventually he
managed to quit his job at the Coca Cola factory and was on track to accomplishing his dreams.
The dreams he always wanted for himself.
Within 5 years, Adrian made over 10 times the amount of money he thought he needed to
accomplish his dreams.
Congratulations Adrian!
How did he accomplish this?
Adrian began learning everything he could about his company's marketing plan. When he realized
that this company could realistically help him accomplish his dream, he began applying his newly
acquired knowledge.
Adrian had big dreams in mind, and therefore he had to go the extra mile in order to make sure
they came true. He started designing a plan that was going to help him attain his long term dream.
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The plan included short term goals, as well as daily goals to accomplish each and every day.
The key to Adrian's success was learning and applying his newly acquired knowledge, as well as
accomplishing his daily goals.
Adrian's Plan:
After Adrian accomplished each small step, he knew that he was one step closer to his long term
dream.
Adrian encountered a lot of obstacles along the way, and he never gave up. In the back of his mind
he knew that one day he was going to have a big house, a brand new car, and would visit his
homeland.
Regardless of what obstacles Adrian faced along the way, HE NEVER GAVE UP!
Adrian learned that the difference between those who make a 6 - 7 Figure income, and those who
barely make a 5 Figure income, was that those who give up never succeed, and those who succeed
never give up!
What can you learn from Adrian?
You decide!
Dave Origano is a 24 year old entrepreneur that succeeded in the online world in merely 3 years.
With the right mind setting he growed his wealth with millions. Want to own the techniques that
he used to create these millions of dollars: http://www.TheMillionairLife.com
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working on the task before it is finished, spend a few more minutes to plan a strategy for the next
steps.
When you are tempted to substitute a fun but unimportant activity (such as reading a magazine or
watching the weather channel) for an important project (such as finishing pages of your report),
make the substitute activity your reward for doing the important task. Do the high-priority job first
and reward yourself with the fun activity.
Ward Off Self-Defeating Thoughts
Telling yourself that you are going to do a poor job or even fail can seriously undermine your
ability to function. It is important to realize that your negative statements are not facts. Keep your
focus on the present moment and the positive steps you can take toward accomplishing your goals.
If these thoughts are based on a need for perfection or low self-esteem (described in the "Managing
Perfectionism" newsletter), you may want to work on these issues.
Make a Commitment
Make a verbal and written commitment to completing the task or project. Write a contract and sign
it. Tell someone about your plans and ask them to follow up with you.
One trainer wanted to create a how-to workbook and market it to other training professionals.
After weeks of procrastination, she decided to motivate herself by creating a deadline. She wrote
an ad for the workbook and placed it in the professional publication that she knew her colleagues
would be reading. When her telephone began to ring with orders for the workbook, she suddenly
became very focused.
Remind Yourself
Write notes to yourself and post them in conspicuous places. Leave them where you will see themon places like the outside of your briefcase, the bathroom mirror, refrigerator, television, your front
door, and the dashboard of your car. The more often you remind yourself of what you plan to
accomplish, the more likely it is that you will follow through with action.
Reward Yourself
Reinforcement is a very effective way to motivate yourself. When you complete even the most
minor task, be sure to acknowledge what you have done. This is especially important in the
beginning when you are struggling with procrastination behaviours. After you have mastered these
issues and have regained your peak productivity, don't forget to celebrate the completion of the big
projects. You worked hard for it and shouldn't take it for granted.
----------------------Garrett Coan is a professional therapist, coach and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey
office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic
County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. Garrett also offers online and telephone coaching and
counselling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through
http://www.creativecounselors.com or at 201-303-4303.
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For example, if you are affirming a million-dollar bank account and your dream home in the hills,
find pictures of the home you would like to have, and find pictures of a bank vault full of cash and
paste them onto the same sheet with your affirmations.
"Chicken Soup for the Soul" co-creator Jack Canfield had some very important insight on how to
supercharge the power of mind-imagery. He recommends that you use mind-imagery by imagining
you are in a movie. In the quote below note how he recommends you see YOU IN the movie as
opposed to WATCHING a movie OF YOU. He says, "If you're watching a movie of you, you see
your whole body up on the screen. But when you're in the movie, you just see your own hands.
You're looking out through your own face. You can't see your own face right now. We call this
associated imagery versus disassociated imagery, which is more powerful to produce change. So
whenever you visualize something you want, visualize it from inside of your body" (i.e. You In the
movie) "what it would look like if you had it. Don't see yourself outside of your world. It's not as
powerful."
So, for the next two weeks, I want you to latch onto the images that go through your mind when
you meditate and imagine how your goals would look when achieved. Then, continue twice a day
with the affirmations, except for now I want those images you've selected to be included and to be
a central part of your daily mind exercises. Make sure that you take Mr. Canfield's advice and see
the images from inside your own body.
I hope that your life already shows signs of powerful, positive change. I look forward to speaking
with you again in a couple of weeks.
To Your Success,
Joel S. Nelson
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Tape a picture of your goal on your bathroom mirror and on your refrigerator--whether it's a new
house, a new car, whatever.
Make visualizing and thinking about your goals a daily exercise. Because it is only by constantly
visualizing your goals will they become a reality.
And don't worry about setbacks, detours or little bumps in the road or big bumps either for that
matter. Setbacks happen to everyone. That's life. Forget about it. Make the necessary adjustments
and keep going.
Up next is the second part of the formula:
(2.) Do what you love.
There's an old saying, "Do what you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life!"
Do you understand what that means? It means if you work at doing something you truly love and
enjoy, it won't really seem like work at all.
Speaking from personal experience, I'm here to tell you that is absolutely the truth. Let me give
you an example of what I'm talking about.
A few years ago, I made it my goal to have a successful business on the Internet, even though I had
no computer experience and knew absolutely nothing about the Internet.
At that time, I didn't even own a computer. All I had was my WebTV and a boatload of
determination.
Well, my friends, to make a long story short, I'm happy to say that I've achieved that goal. And
now I get to stay home all day, everyday and play on my computer, writing articles like this one
and publishing my "Let's Make Money Newsletter."
So, how did I do it?
I went to the library and taught myself how to use a computer. I read book after book on how the
Internet works and I taught myself basic HTML (very basic).
Anyway, the bottom line is, I'm now doing what I love. Most mornings I get up at six o'clock,
because I can't wait to get started. And most nights, I don't get offline until about eight or nine
o'clock.
Now by my calculations, those are 14 or 15 hour work days. But it doesn't seem like work to me,
because I'm doing what I love. Those 14 or 15 hour days fly right by--and that's the whole point!
"Do what you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life!"
If you hate your job, find a way to do what you love so that you can quit. You may even have to
work another part-time job or something to get to that point. But if you really and truly want it
badly enough, you'll do whatever it takes.
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That's the point when you have to stay strong and focused. Because chances are, you're going to be
in this alone. That's why the mind re-programming is so important. It'll help you stay focused and
positive. And if by chance you do happen to have family and friends who do support you, so much
the better!
Anyway, that's it. That's "The Amazing 3-Step Formula To Success!" You'll notice not once in this
entire article did I mention anything about making more money. Why? Because "if you do what
you love, the money will follow!"
In closing, if you want to be successful, you must NEVER give up. You must NEVER quit.
NEVER! No matter what!
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16) Develop a reputation for speed and dependability; develop a sense of urgency - do it now; get
on with the job; and act fast on opportunities.
17) Be impeccably honest to yourself and others; honesty, truth, integrity and absolute trust in the
foundation of our system; and always deliver on your commitment.
18) Concentrate on one thing at a time; set priorities; concentrate on top task 100%; concentrate
100% of your energy on one single task; what is the most valuable use of your time right now; do
it 100% and then go on.
19) Be decisive; make decisions quickly; think and act; characteristic of genius is to make
decisions quickly; remember a bad decision is better than no decision at all.
20) Back your plans and goals with persistence and determination; stick to it longer than anybody
else; your measure of belief is yourself; persistence is a habit; and never quit.
21) Self mastery; self control; self discipline; develop capacity to force yourself to do what you
know you must do - when you should do it - whether you like it or not; and master key to riches.
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Knowledge
A lack of knowledge or the inability to access information are obstacles. A team composed of
junior people who don't have diverse experience and who don't have a good knowledge of the
work they are doing will have trouble working effectively. There may be barriers preventing the
team from learning. Common barriers include over-work leading to a lack of time or mental
energy for learning. With junior people in particular, there is a lot of pressure to be productive and
that can often be at the expense of a solid foundation of learning.
Other times, knowledge-related barriers can be more immediate. If a critical piece of information
is delayed or lost this can have a large impact on an Agile team that is working in short cycles. The
team may be temporarily halted while they wait for information. Building effective information
flow is critical to a team's performance.
Organizational
Bureaucratic procedures, organizational mis-alignment, conflicting goals, and inefficient
organizational structures can all be significant obstacles.
One of the best sources of information about this is the two books by Jim Collins: "Good to Great"
(Review) and "Built to Last" (Review).
Cultural
Sometimes the beliefs we have about how to work can become obstacles to working more
effectively. These beliefs are often in place because they have been part of what we think makes us
successful. Cultural assumptions can come from our families, our communities, our religious
affiliation and our national identity.
In organizational culture, one thing I constantly see is a public espoused value of teamwork, but a
conflicting behaviour of individual performance reviews and ranking. This is cultural. It is also a
barrier to the effective functioning of an Agile team. For corporate environments I highly
recommend the Corporate Culture Survival Guide by Edgar Schein.
Dis-Unity
Dis-unity is one of the most subtle and common forms of obstacle. Competition, legal and cultural
assumption of the goodness of "opposition" and habits of interaction including gossip and
backbiting all combine to make united action and thought very difficult.
This is an extremely deep topic. There are many tools and techniques available to assist with team
building. If you are interested in this topic, I highly recommend reading "The Prosperity of
Humankind".
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Eliminate Waste
Waste is the result of activities or environmental conditions that prevent a team from reaching its
goal. The opposite of waste is something that adds value (more, faster or higher quality) to the
desired result.
The whole notion of eliminating waste comes from lean manufacturing. More recently, Mary and
Tom Poppendieck applied this idea to software in their book "Lean Software Development: An
Agile Toolkit for Software Development Managers". In this (excellent) book, the authors list the
wastes of manufacturing and the wastes of software.
Here I have summarized and generalized these types of wastes so that they apply in any situation:
As wastes are eliminated or reduced, a team will function faster and with higher quality. However,
not all waste can be eliminated. Sometimes waste is legislated, sometimes waste is an unavoidable
by-product of work, sometimes mistakes are made, and sometimes it takes a great deal of effort to
eliminate a waste.
In order to eliminate waste, first waste has to be detected and identified, then the underlying causes
of the waste have to be identified, and finally changes to the work environment need to be made to
both eliminate the cause of the waste and the waste itself. Many agile work practices help with this
process.
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Value stream mapping is one particular tool that can be used by a team or organization to identify
wasteful activities. The team describes the amount of time that work takes to go through each
activity in their overall work process. Next, the team determines if each activity adds value or does
not add value to the end goal. All activities are subject to speed improvements, and activities that
do not add value are subject to elimination.
In order to determine the causes of waste, special attention should be paid to incentives and
motivations. Wasteful behaviour often exists because there is some incentive for people to do it.
Sometimes these incentives are explicit, but sometimes they are the side-effects of other things
going on in the team's environment. Changing the incentives can be an effective way of reducing
waste.
By eliminating waste, the team will find it has reduced frustrations, and enabled greater
productivity and creativity. The team will also increase its speed and delivery of value, and at the
same time reduce defects.
Removing Obstacles
The ability to identify obstacles and understand why they are causing problems is only the first
step in removing obstacles. In Agile Work, the person primarily responsible for identifying and
removing obstacles is the Process Facilitator. The Process Facilitator has several approaches
available for the removal of obstacles. A process facilitator has similar responsibilities to a change
agent.
Direct
Deal with the obstacle directly without involving other people. This can be as simple as getting up
and moving an obstacle impairing vision, or as nuanced as running interviews and workshops
throughout an organization to gradually change a cultural obstacle.
Command and Control
Identify the obstacle and give precise instructions for its removal to a person who will directly
perform the removal. This can sometimes work if removing an obstacle takes a great deal of time,
effort or specialized skills that you yourself do not possess. However, the overall approach of
"command and control" is not recommended for Agile environments since it is disempowering.
Influence
Identify the obstacle and suggest means to deal with it to a person who has the authority or
influence to get others to deal with it. This indirect method of obstacle removal can be slow and
frustrating. However it usually has better long-term effects than command and control.
Support
Offer to assist and encourage the removal of obstacles that have been identified by other people. In
many respects this is a very effective method. It can assist with team-building and learning by
example. People are usually grateful for assistance.
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Coaching
Train others on the art of obstacle removal including obstacle identification, types of obstacles and
strategies for dealing with obstacles. Observe people's attempts to remove obstacles and give them
feedback on their actions.
Creating a Culture of Obstacle Removal
Encourage and measure obstacle removal at all organizational levels until it becomes habitual. In
many ways this is the essence of the lean organization.
Remove
Remove the obstacle altogether. This method of dealing with an obstacle is usually the most
immediately effective, but is also one of the most difficult methods.
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The best way to actually remove an obstacle is to get at the root cause of the obstacle and change
that. This type of change results in the longest-lasting and most stable elimination of an obstacle.
Move Aside
Take the obstacle and put it in a place or situation where it is no longer in the path of the team.
In a team's physical environment, this may be as simple as changing the tools that the team is
using. For example, if the team is all in a room together, move computer monitors that are
blocking team member's views of each other. If there is a useless checkpoint that work results have
to go through, get management to eliminate it.
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Shield
Build a shield or barrier to hide the obstacle so that it's effects no longer touch your team.
If a team is distracted by noisy neighbours, put up a sound barrier. If a team is unable to see their
computers due to late afternoon sunlight, put up window shades. If a manager is bothering the
team with meetings or tasks unrelated to the work of the team, then put yourself between the team
and the manager (or get someone in upper management to do that).
Shielding is excellent for immediate relief, but remember that the obstacle is still there and may
become a problem again if the shield cannot be maintained.
Transform
Change the structure or form of the obstacle so that it no longer affects effectiveness.
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In general, this method requires a great deal of creativity and open-mindedness. This is one that
works particularly well on people who are obstacles: convert them into friends of the team!
For example if the team needs approval of an expert who is not part of the team, this can cause
extra work preparing documentation for this person and long delays while the expert revises the
documents. If the expert becomes part of the team, then they are well-informed of the work being
done and can give approval with very little overhead.
If done well, this can be a very long-lasting method of dealing with an obstacle. Make sure that the
transformation is true and that it takes hold... and beware that the obstacle doesn't revert back to its
old nature.
Counteract
Find an activity that negates the effects of the obstacle by boosting effectiveness in another area.
As a coach or Process Facilitator, this is what we spend our time in early in a team's adoption of
Agile Work: we get them to work in the same room, use iterations and adaptive planning, we focus
them on delivering work valued by the stakeholders as defined by the Product Owner. All these
things are enhancing the team's ability to get work done without actually directly dealing with any
obstacles.
Watch out for barriers avoided this way to come back and bite you later on.
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Become Incredibly Selfish. Without You, there is nothing and attraction isnt possible.
2.
Unhook Yourself from the Future. Attraction works in the present, not in the future.
3.
Over respond to Every Event. By over responding rather than overreacting, you evolve,
which is very attractive.
4.
Build a Super reserve in Every Area. Having enough is not nearly enough for You to
be irresistibly attractive.
5.
Add Value Just for the Joy of It. When you add value because you enjoy it, people are
naturally attracted to You.
6.
Affect Others Profoundly. The more you touch others, the more attractive youll
become.
7.
Market Your Talents Shamelessly. If youre embarrassed about what you do, you
wont be very attractive.
8.
Become Irresistibly Attractive to Yourself. How can you attract others if you dont feel
irresistibly attracted to yourself?
9.
Get a Fulfilling Life, not just an Impressive Lifestyle. A great life is attractive; a
lifestyle is usually seductive.
10. Promise Little, Deliver Everything. When you consistently deliver more than was
expected, new customers are drawn to you.
11. Create a Vacuum that Pulls You Forward. Being pulled forward is attractive; pushing
yourself forward isnt.
12. Eliminate Delay. Time is expensive; using too much is very unattractive.
13. Get Your Personal Needs Met, Once and for All. If you have unmet needs, youll
attract others in the same position.
14. Thrive on the Details. Subtleties, details, and nuances are more attractive than the
obvious.
15. Tolerate Nothing. When you put up with something, it costs you; unnecessary costs are
unattractive.
16. Show Others How to Please You. Dont make them guess.
17. Endorse Your Worst Weakness. When you can accept and honour the worst part of
yourself, youre more accepting of others.
18. Sensitize Yourself. The more you feel, the more youll notice and respond to the many
opportunities in the present.
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19. Perfect Your Environment. The Attraction operating system is a sophisticated system
and it requires a first-class environment.
20. Develop More Character than You Need. Integrity is not enough to become irresistibly
attractive.
21. See How Perfect the Present Really Is. Especially when clearly it is not.
22. Become an Unconditionally Constructive Person. High levels of respect are very
attractive.
23. Orient Yourself Around Your Values. When you spend your days doing what fulfils
you, You are attractive.
24. Simplify Everything. Abandoning nonessentials leaves more room for Attraction.
25. Master Your Craft. The easiest way to become successful? Become the best at what
you do.
26. Recognize and Tell the Truth. The truth is the most attractive thing of all, but it
requires skills and awareness.
27. Have a Vision. When you can see whats coming, you dont need to create a future.
28. Be Real, Be Human. When you are human, You are attractive.
On the surface, these points may seem obvious but they are not easy to master and make them a
part of your life. Each requires a lot of thought, action, and a strong commitment to yourself!
Leonard said that one could make a big difference by mastering just 5 of the Principles. Which
ones would You choose?
Interested in learning more about the Principles of Attraction and how these can make a difference
in your life? Send an e-mail to: info@infiniteperspectives.com with the word Attraction in the
subject line.
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MOTIVATING INTERVIEWING.
EXCERPT OF A STUDY ON THE EFFECTIVENESS OF MOTIVATING
INTERVIEWING.
Research question
Motivating interviewing has only been applied with persons who have an alcohol or drug problem.
Probably it has already been applied to other target groups, but I couldnt find any literature on it.
Motivating interviewing describes an interview style, this would be applicable in the
different settings. Inside the psychogeriatry you often see revolving door patients. The
motivating interviewing should be an extra support to the other therapies in the
healing. This process accelerates because the client is going to think more about what he wants to
achieve. This will make him intrinsically motivated. This process will not only be acted by myself,
but through the whole team. The continuity is hereby important.
Target
I focused on psycho geriatric clients who suffer from a reactive depression. This means along
Cuyvers (2001) that a depression is caused by events from outside.
As people age, physical and mental changes occur. They retire, they move home or
they get institutionalised. This often happens without their approval. These are
extremely confrontational experiences for the elderly. It gives a reaction with this
person. Everyone reacts in his own way. Godderis, Van de Ven en Wills (1992)
notice several forms of coping.
Regression is a fall back on the primitive dependency feelings. The elderly will demand attention
and grumble.
Depressive position characterizes introversion, brooding, self pity,...
Denying of the physical and/ or psychic decline.
Acceptation advances when there is an accordance between the ideal about oneself and the reality
of getting older.
Motivation
There are three forms of motivation according to Dhert (2002) and Van Laere (2008).
1. The first one is intrinsic motivation, the goal of the activity lies in the activity itself.
2. Next we have the extrinsic motivation, the person expects that the activity leads to positive
consequences.
3. The last form is the internalized motivation, it advances when a person wants to meet the rules
and expectations of the environment. This is often present with the clients.
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Motivation also has three components. The first on is readiness, the person knows what he wants
and is able to make priorities. The second component is willingness, this is the degree to which
someone wants change. The last one is ability, otherwise said the degree of faith that the client has
in the change. (Miller & Rollnick, 2005)
Motivating interviewing
Motivating interviewing is an interview style. It is a client centred and directive method.
It s goal is to increase intrinsic motivation so that change occurs by exploring
ambivalence and by solving this. (Miller & Rollnick, 2005)
The general principles that are concerned are: the construction of a relationship of
trust, the developing of discrepancy , the movement with the resistance and the
support of the personal effectiveness. (Schippers, 2000)
Inside the motivating interviewing are two marked phases. The first phase is the
building of motivation to change. We do this by: asking open questions, listening
reflectively, affirming the client, synthesizing and provoking language of change.
The provoking of language of change can be among asking the miracle question (how would it be,
if all your problems were gone?) or by looking back at the past, before the problem began.
We also need to work on trust by looking back at earlier successes, underlining the
strong sides and appliances, giving information and advice.
When the client starts to get more notion of himself and his priorities (wishes), he can go to the
next phase, which is amplify the involvement with change.
The situation will be synthesized again so we can decide what has to be done, this is
called recapitulation. We also have to ask open questions so the wishes and plans of
the client will be provoked. The last thing we do, is give information and advice (when the client
asks and gives permission). (Miller & Rollnick, 2005)
Motivating interviewing is a paradoxical concept because the professional helper asks the client to
go with him for a conversation. This is often an obligation. In this way it isnt easy to get the client
intrinsically motivated. That is why it is important to involve the whole team in the motivating
interviewing. This will give the client the experience that everyone has the same attitude and he
will develop faster.
Change and resistance
The model of Prochaska & Diclemente shows how a person will develop during his
process of change. It has several phases. In the pre-contemplation phase the client has no intention
to change something about his behaviour. He will display a lot of denial and resistance.
When he passes over to the consideration phase, he starts to doubt his problem, but he places it
outside himself.
Thereafter he advances to the decision phase. He proceeds to change his behaviour,
but he is looking for a strategy for change.
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Hereafter he arrives in the action phase. In this phase he will literally change his
behaviour and will decide in which way this happens.
In the consolidation phase the behaviour will be made sustainable.
The last phase is the decline. In this phase people backslide into their old pattern
whereby they will go through the process again. (Schoofs, 2008)
When there is resistance, we need to be alert so we will react correctly. This is made possible by a
simple reflection, a strong reflection (reflect an exaggerated form of what the client says) or a two
sided reflection (report the ambivalence). We can also change the focus, express otherwise (see
information in a new light) and accentuate freedom of choice and self control whit the client.
(Miller & Rollnick, 2005)
Focus points
These include certain elements which one must take into consideration.
Restricted disease awareness and dementia result in the client not always
understanding what one means. With these people a step by step approach is
recommended so that not too much resistance develops .
Transmission and contra transmission must be taken into consideration so that a good relationship
can develop.
Medication results in unpleasant complications, the client must be understood if he
experiences problems.
Basic attitude must be integrated so that the client can experience the motivating
interviewing more quickly and so that it s easier to apply. Thus it is the task of the
colleges to apply motivating interviewing continually.
Practical study
I start with the client by taking an assessment, URICA (University Rhode Island
Change Assessment). It measures the intrinsic willingness to change. By this test one can also
deduce in which phase the client finds them self according to the phase model of Prochaska and
Diclemente. As a result of this assessment I gain a better understanding of the client and their
problem.
After this I conduct various other sessions so that I can achieve intrinsic motivation
step by step. The sessions are conducted with material so that the client is more easily able to
speak about their problems and feelings. The sessions are insightfully organized and are therefore
very demanding for the client. After this a discussion occurs so that one can go deeper into the
matters raised by the client.
I conduct six sessions in total, each session has a different goal. I work around the
cultivation of trust, round coping or how someone deals with the events, round the
creation of language change by formulating wishes and round situations where the
client is little or much influenced. I lead the client on a journey of self discovery and
confront him with himself by getting others to write down his characteristics. After four sessions a
retest of the URICA follows to see if there is a marked evolution and to see what problems they are
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now experiencing. After this I make a weekend plan with the client and ask the client to assess the
therapy.
It is also important to inform the team of the method being used. In this way the basic attitude can
be adopted and the client will understand and accept the intervention.
The execution of the practical was not simple. I had only one client that could complete the
sessions because of prematurely resign.
A client told me that she would change if she was younger. These people had already
experienced so much change, that they were not willing to experience even more
disruption. They attached much importance to the adaptation of the environment.
Only in the correct environment could they fully develop and feel better about them self. I also
noted that there were secondary pathologies, these made the intervention no easier. The continuity
of motivating interviewing is still useful with these target group.
It is also handy to make adaptations during the sessions and to give extra confirmation at the client.
The willingness for participation at the therapy is remarkable different for each one.
They have different reasons.
Clients in the action phase can be motivated easier by concrete tasks and are capable to formulate
their own wishes.
Conclusion
To go back to my research question I can conclude that motivating interviewing gives the client
more insight into them self and their ideas. The client knows what he wants, but this is not always
easy to achieve. The older clients will only change if their environment changes. Then and only
then can they fully develop and participate with full enthusiasm.
The goal of the therapies must be clear to motivate people.
There are therefore an accumulation of factors, that insure that the client is intrinsically motivated
to participate.
I have experienced that motivating interviewing is an uplifting interview style. Though it must be
said it is not selfevident because you must be aware of the different signals and your own reaction
to the signals.
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Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity,
they think of you.
Never refuse home made cookies.
Remember other people's birthdays.
Sing in the shower.
Resist gossip.
Don't nag.
Say "THANK YOU" a lot.
Take care of your reputation; it is your most valuable asset.
Take your dog to obedience school.
Slow dance.
Don't rain on other people's parade.
Don't postpone joy.
Whistle.
Call your mother.
Do more than what is expected of you.
Be someone's hero.
Count your blessings...daily.
Enjoy a sunrise, sunset.
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If You Dont Like a Thing, and You Cannot Avoid It, Change It.
Here again, the answer is simple: change it. But just as in avoidance we rationalize that we need
something about it the money, the time, the security something is holding you to that
particular thing if you dont like it, cannot avoid it, wont change it, but are still involved with it.
4. Pursuit of Happiness - Rule Number Four:
If You Dont Like a Thing, Cannot Avoid It, and Cannot or will Not Change It,
Accept It.
Acceptance now there is a catch. How can you accept something you dont like? How in the
world do you accept something that is 'unacceptable'? How do you accept a situation that youre
not happy with? How do you accept a person that youre not happy with?
Well, you really dont have to accept anything; you can, of course, be unhappy. If you dont like it,
wont change it, cannot avoid it, and will not accept it, I guarantee that you will be unhappy.
There are, however, five rules to the secret of happiness, and within the fifth lies the key.
5. Rule Number Five:
Eventually it will become automatic, and youll find happiness a predominant state of mind. Once
you realize the ease of acquiring this emotion, you develop an entirely new scale of highs and
lows.
Unremitting happiness, of course, is not a possible or desirable state. According to the principle of
rhythm, there is always an inflow and outflow, an ebb tide and a flood tide. Youll always have
highs and lows theres no way to avoid that. However, your highs will be higher and your lows
will be higher. Youll then find that what is a happy state for you might be a state of depression for
someone unaware of the Five Rules of Happiness.
____________________
The above article is a beautiful chapter from Burt Goldman's book, "The Power of Self Mind
Control." You can learn more about his latest book at http://www.SelfMindControl.com Burt
Goldman has also been a Silva Mind instructor teaching techniques to make the rest of your life
the best of your life. To learn about Silva seminars near you just visit
http://www.silvaultramindsystem.com
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6. ELIMINATE FEAR
Don't let fear be the reason you do things you have no intention to do! Instead let fear be your
driving force!
7. HAVE FUN!
Whatever you do, make sure
you are enjoying it to the
fullest! Dont waste your time
doing things you dont enjoy;
dont waste your time making
things that you do not enjoy
yourself; dont waste your
time offering services you
dont believe in. You cannot
sincerely hope to become
happy by doing things that you
dont feel good about, can
you? You cannot possibly
hope to become successful in a
field that you dont even like
and enjoy yourself, can you ?
http://www.the-reflexions.com
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Contrary to popular belief, you dont have to make drastic changes in order to notice an improvement in
the quality of your life. At the same time, you dont need to wait a long time in order to see the
measurable results that come from taking positive action. All you have to do is take small steps, and take
them consistently, for a period of 100 days.
Below youll find 60 small ways to improve all areas of your life in the next 100 days.
Home
1. Create a 100 Days to Conquer Clutter Calendar by pencilling in one group of items you plan to
declutter every day, for the next 100 days. Heres an example:
Day 1: Declutter Magazines
Day 2: Declutter DVDs
Day 3: Declutter books
Day 4: Declutter kitchen appliances
2. Live by the mantra: a place for everything and everything in its place. For the next 100 days follow
these four rules to keep your house in order:
1/ If you take it out, put it back.
2/ If you open it, close it.
3/ If you throw it down, pick it up.
4/ If you take it off, hang it up.
3. Walk around your home and identify 100 things youve been tolerating; fix one each day. Here are
some examples:
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Happiness
4. Follow the advice proffered by positive psychologists and write down 5 to 10 things that youre
grateful for, every day.
5. Make a list of 20 small things that you enjoy doing, and make sure that you do at least one of these
things every day for the next 100 days. Your list can include things such as the following:
6. Keep a log of your mental chatter, both positive and negative, for ten days. Be as specific as possible:
Also, make a note of the emotions that accompany these thoughts. Then, for the next 90 days, begin
changing your emotions for the better by modifying your mental chatter.
7. For the next 100 days, have a good laugh at least once a day: get one of those calendars that has a
different joke for every day of the year, or stop by a web site that features your favourite cartoons.
Learning/Personal Development
8. Choose a book that requires effort and concentration and read a little of it every day, so that you read
it from cover to cover in 100 days.
9. Make it a point to learn at least one new thing each day: the name of a flower that grows in your
garden, the capital of a far-off country, or the name of a piece of classical music you hear playing in
your favourite clothing boutique as you shop. If its time for bed and you cant identify anything youve
learned that day, take out your dictionary and learn a new word.
10. Stop complaining for the next 100 days. A couple of years back, Will Bowen gave a purple rubber
bracelet to each person in his congregation to remind them to stop complaining. Negative talk produces
negative thoughts; negative thoughts produce negative results, says Bowen. For the next 100 days,
whenever you catch yourself complaining about anything, stop yourself.
11. Set your alarm a minute earlier every day for the next 100 days. Then make sure that you get out of
bed as soon as your alarm rings, open the windows to let in some sunlight, and do some light stretching.
In 100 days youll be waking up an hour and forty minutes earlier than youre waking up now.
12. For the next 100 days, keep Morning Pages, which is a tool suggested by Julia Cameron. Morning
Pages are simply three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing, done first thing in the
morning.
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13. For the next 100 days make it a point to feed your mind with the thoughts, words, and images that
are most consistent with who you want to be, what you want to have, and what you want to achieve.
Finances
14. Create a spending plan (also known as a budget). Track every cent that you spend for the next 100
days to make sure that youre sticking to your spending plan.
15. Scour the internet for frugality tips, choose ten of the tips that you find, and apply them for the next
100 days. Here are some possibilities:
Go to the grocery store with cash and a calculator instead of using your debit card.
Take inventory before going to the grocery store to avoid buying repeat items.
Scale back the cable.
Ask yourself if you really need a landline telephone.
Consolidate errands into one trip to save on gas.
Keep track of how much money you save over the next 100 days by applying these tips.
16. For the next 100 days, pay for everything with paper money and keep any change that you receive.
Then, put all of your change in a jar and see how much money you can accumulate in 100 days.
17. Dont buy anything that you dont absolutely need for 100 days. Use any money you save by doing
this to do one of the following:
8. Set an hour aside every day for the next 100 days to devote to creating one source of passive income.
Time Management
19. For the next 100 days, take a notebook with you everywhere in order to keep your mind decluttered.
Record everything, so that its safely stored in one placeout of your headwhere you can decide what
to do with it later. Include things such as the following:
20. Track how you spend your time for 5 days. Use the information that you gather in order to create a
time budget: the percentage of your time that you want to devote to each activity that you engage in on a
regular basis. This can include things such as:
Transportation
Housework
Leisure
Income-Generating Activities
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Make sure that you stick to your time budget for the remaining 95 days.
21. Identify one low-priority activity which you can stop doing for the next 100 days, and devote that
time to a high priority task instead.
22. Identify five ways in which you regularly waste time, and limit the time that youre going to spend
on these activities each day, for the next 100 days. Here are three examples:
23. For the next 100 days, stop multi-tasking; do one thing at a time without distractions.
24. For the next 100 days, plan your day the night before.
25. For the next 100 days, do the most important thing on your To-Do list first, before you do anything
else.
26. For the next 14 weeks, conduct a review of each week. During your weekly review, answer the
following:
27. For the next 100 days, spend a few minutes at the end of each day organizing your desk, filing
papers, and making sure that your work area is clean and orderly, so that you can walk in to a neat desk
the next day.
28. Make a list of all of the commitments and social obligations that you have in the next 100 days.
Then, take out a red pen and cross out anything that does not truly bring you joy or help move you along
the path to achieving your main life goals.
29. For the next 100 days, every time that you switch to a new activity throughout the day stop and ask
yourself, Is this the best use of my time at this moment?
Health
30. Losing a pound of fat requires burning 3500 calories. If you reduce your caloric intake by 175
calories a day for the next 100 days, youll have lost 5 pounds in the next 100 days.
31. For the next 100 days, eat five servings of vegetables every day.
32. For the next 100 days, eat three servings of fruit of every day.
33. Choose one food that constantly sabotages your efforts to eat healthierwhether its the decadent
cheesecake from the bakery around the corner, deep-dish pizza, or your favourite potato chipsand go
cold turkey for the next 100 days.
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34. For the next 100 days, eat from a smaller plate to help control portion size.
35. For the next 100 days, buy 100% natural juices instead of the kind with added sugar and
preservatives.
36. For the next 100 days, instead of carbonated drinks, drink water.
37. Create a list of 10 healthy, easy to fix breakfast meals.
38. Create a list of 20 healthy, easy to fix meals which can be eaten for lunch or dinner.
39. Create a list of 10 healthy, easy to fix snacks.
40. Use your lists of healthy breakfast meals, lunches, dinners, and snacks in order to plan out your
meals for the week ahead of time. Do this for the next 14 weeks.
41. For the next 100 days, keep a food log. This will help you to identify where youre deviating from
your planned menu, and where youre consuming extra calories.
42. For the next 100 days, get at least twenty minutes of daily exercise.
43. Wear a pedometer and walk 10,000 steps, every day, for the next 100 days. Every step you take
during the day counts toward the 10,000 steps:
44. Set up a weight chart and post it up in your bathroom. Every week for the next 14 weeks, keep track
of the following:
Your weight.
Your percentage of body fat.
Your waist circumference.
45. For the next 100 days, set your watch to beep once an hour, or set up a computer reminder, to make
sure that you drink water on a regular basis throughout the day.
46. For the next 100 days, make it a daily ritual to mediate, breath, or visualize every day in order to
calm your mind.
Your Relationship
47. For the next 100 days, actively look for something positive in your partner every day, and write it
down.
48. Create a scrapbook of all the things you and your partner do together during the next 100 days. At
the end of the 100 days, give your partner the list you created of positive things you observed about
them each day, as well as the scrapbook you created.
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49. Identify 3 actions that youre going to take each day, for the next 100 days, in order to strengthen
your relationship. These can include the following:
Say I love you and Have a good day to your significant other every morning.
Hug your significant other as soon as you see each other after work.
Go for a twenty minute walk together every day after dinner; hold hands.
Social
50. Connect with someone new every day for the next 100 days, whether its by greeting a neighbour
youve never spoken to before, following someone new on Twitter, leaving a comment on a blog youve
never commented on before, and so on.
51. For the next 100 days, make it a point to associate with people you admire, respect and want to be
like.
52. For the next 100 days, when someone does or says something that upsets you, take a minute to think
over your response instead of answering right away.
53. For the next 100 days, dont even think of passing judgment until youve heard both sides of the
story.
54. For the next 100 days do one kind deed for someone every day, however small, even if its just
sending a silent blessing their way.
55. For the next 100 days, make it a point to give praise and approval to those who deserve it.
56. For the next 100 days, practice active listening. When someone is talking to you, remain focused on
what theyre saying, instead of rehearsing in your head what youre going to say next. Paraphrase what
you think you heard them say to make sure that you havent misinterpreted them, and encourage them to
elaborate on any points youre still not clear about.
57. Practice empathy for the next 100 days. If you disagree with someone, try to see the world from their
perspective; put yourself in their shoes. Be curious about the other person, about their beliefs and their
life experience, and about the thinking process that they followed to reach their conclusions.
58. For the next 100 days, stay in your own life and dont compare yourself to anyone else.
59. For the next 100 days, place the best possible interpretation on the actions of others.
60. For the next 100 days, keep reminding yourself that everyone is doing the best that they can.
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SOME QUOTES
Character cannot be developed in peace and quiet. Only through experience of trial and
suffering can the soul be strengthened; vision cleared; ambition inspired, and success
achieved.- Helen Keller
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.Ralph Waldo Emerson
I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small
tasks as if they were great and noble.- Helen Keller
If you have the will to win, you have achieved half your success; if you don't, you have
achieved half your failure.- David Ambrose
If you take too long in deciding what to do with your life, youll find youve done it.George B. Shaw.
Most look up and admire the stars. A champion climbs a mountain and grabs one.Unknown
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Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.Barbara Johnson
Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living, the other helps you
make a life.- Sandra Carey
One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off
living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of
enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.- Dale Carnegie
Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.- T.S.
Eliot
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like
work.- Thomas Edison
Reputation is what people think you are. Character is who you really are. Take care of
your character and your reputation will take care of itself.- (On an American plaque)
Successful and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities. They vary in
their desires to reach their potential.- John Maxwell
The middle of every successful project looks like a disaster.- Rosabeth Moss Cantor
The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.- Richard Bach
The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.- Franklin D.
Roosevelt
Outstanding leaders appeal to the hearts of their followers - not their minds.- Unknown
The secret of success is to do the common things uncommonly well.- John D. Rockefeller
The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have
much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little.- Roosevelt
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of
children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a
healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has
breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never
grow.- Ronald E. Osborn
We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.- Martin Luther
King, Jr.
Yesterday is a cancelled check; Tomorrow is a promissory note; Today is the only cash
you have, so spend it wisely.- Kim Lyons
You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.- Beverly Sills
If you aren't making any mistakes, it's a sure sign you're playing it too safe.- John Maxwell
GOAL
Some of us may find it difficult to identify their dream, while others have so many dreams that their main
problem is to prioritise among them. In either case, it is important to remember that most dreams will
remain just that: dreams. Unless we prioritise and then transform our most urgent or important objective
into a smart goal..
SMART, meaning: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Rewarding and Time bound or Traceable.
Now, write this goal down as a positive and concrete statement.
For example: I will lose 10 kilos by the end of this year and will lose 2 kilos per month.
Hint: It may be a good idea to paste your goal in visible, prominent areas around you to be regularly
reminded of it.
REASON
Motivation is very important. The path to success is almost never a smooth one. If you are not prepared
for setbacks, you may discover that your goal suddenly seems a lot less important when the going gets
though.
Motivation is what sparked the fire in the first place. It's the reason why you selected this goal and want to
achieve it.
But along the way, the intensity and direction of your motivation will vary. Maybe you started your path
with one important reason in mind, but discover after some time that this is not the real reason why you
want to achieve this specific goal. That is o.k. as long as your reasons fuel the enthusiasm and courage that
you need to learn from failure and continue toward the fulfilment of your goal.
Hint: A visualization board to help you visualize yourself enjoying the benefits which you will experience
once you have accomplished your goal, may prove very helpful to get you through difficult moments.
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ACTION
So, you have a great goal. But how exactly are you going to reach it?
First thing to do is to break down your goal into manageable sub-goals. Not only will these stepping stones
help you to keep things in the right perspective (- compare "half a kilo to go this month" to "still 8 kilos to
go" -), but they will also make it easier to draw concrete daily action plans and to review and evaluate your
progress on a regular basis. As long as you keep sight of your goal, this allows for some flexibility along
the road.
Hint: Once your preparations are done, don't delay: Act Right Now! And once you got started, don't stop.
STRATEGY
Many roads lead to Rome. Depending on your personal experiences and preferences, your strengths and
weaknesses and on your actual life situation, you will have to pick a trajectory, a means of transportation,
the time you want to invest in your journey, the stopping places and the mileage you want to cover each
month, week and day.
But don't be too hard on yourself: even the best horse will stumble from time to time. Yet, it will get back
on its feet and keep going. It is likely that your initial action strategy will require some adjustment along
the road. Maybe you under-estimated the time or effort needed to execute your action plan. Or changes in
your life situation force you to reconsider your schedule. This implies that it may take you a little longer to
achieve your goal. But, hey! You know why you changed your action plan! The important thing here is to
always be honest with yourself. But, if necessary, it's even much better to adjust your goal than to throw
the towel and give up.
Hint: Regular reviews are important. They allow you to evaluate your progress, to adapt your daily action
plan and to celebrate your victories!
PERSEVERANCE
You started on this path toward the accomplishment of your dream in the firm believe that you can realize
your goal. Your goal is a SMART goal. You have the motivation and the right strategy to overcome any
obstacles that you might encounter along the way.
If you ever felt that you were a victim, by taking things into your own hands you have proven that you are
determined to be the protagonist in your own life.
It is not because the road is long and windy that it also should be dull and hard and lonely. Finding positive
role models may be a great idea: Become inspired by people who accomplished something important.
Read about them, watch positive movies. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who care
about you.
Hint: Share your goal with the people around you. Tell them about it and, if possible, find others that share
the same goals and form a small group in which members support each other and hold each other
accountable. Or find a mentor to support you.
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1. ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY
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4. BE PASSIONATE
Co n v i c t i o n , d e v o t i o n ,
Develop a winners mentality
Always go the extra mile
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5. DARE TO CHANGE
Keep your Goals firm, but your choice of roads flexible
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6. BE POSITIVE
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8. BE CONFIDENT
Dont hide your expertise
A few hours of study is all it takes to know more about a subject than most.
Be happy. Be a success.
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9. LIVE TODAY
No one can go back and make a brand new start.
Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
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11. STUDY
Mo d e l h a p p y a n d s u c c e s s f u l p e o p l e
Take a coach
Mo v e i n c i r c l e s o f h a p p y a n d s u c c e s s f u l p e o p l e
Read about your subject
Talk about it
Study
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http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Jaimelavie
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JOURNEY TO
ANYWHERE
sseccus
(Strategic Analysis)
* Strategic goals are broad, long-term aims that bridge the value
gap: the difference between reality (now) and aspi ration.
E.g.: We will have a good time and enjoy the highlights of early
renaissance
* Objectives are specific, quantifiable, realistic targets that measure
the accomplishment of a goal over a specified time.
E.g.: We will visit the Duomo, the Uffizzi, the Galleria DellArte, The
Santa Croce, The Chiesa Maria Novela, the Basilica San Lorenzo and
the Orson Michele. We will see the Ponte Vecchio and the Walls of
Florence, enjoy the panoramic view from the Piazza Michelangelo and
visit the market at the San Lorenzo. We will also make excur-sions to
Siena, Pisa and Lucca.
In the evenings, we will have lunch at least once at . And attend
one Opera performance. At least half a day will be reserved for
shopping.
* Strategies are broad activities required to achieve an objective,
control a critical success factor or overcome a barrier.
E.g.: We will make reservations as much as possible beforehand,
since this will be cheaper than reserving in Firenze and will also
spare us the time lining up for reservation.
After you agreed on the details of your voyage, its time to draw a concrete
plan. Plans are made to be changed, but remember : if you fail to plan, you
are planning to fail !
(Develop the Strategy)
Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday
7h00
8h00
9h00
With everything properly agreed and planned, you now you have all the
information required to start making reservations and preparations for the trip :
booking travel agency, subscribing travel insurance, listing useful addresses,
checking luggage, clothing, toilet articles, mak ing sure your plants or pets
will be taken care off during your vacation, that your letter box will be emptied
.
(projects and actions)
A week before leaving start checking all your preparations. Travel documents
ready? Luggage ok?
Also, reconfirm deals made: your plans and pets count on being taking care off
during your vacation!
(monitor and re-evaluate your projects and actions)
Journey to anywhere
Before going any further: may I ask you to stop for a
moment and answer two little questions ? :
1.
2.
SUCCESS
ENJOY DRIVE TO ACHIEVE - PASSION
TAKE MASSIVE ACTION
PLAN DEVELOP STRATEGIES PUT 1ST THINGS 1ST
SEE OPPORTUNITIES FIND SOLUTIONS
COMMUNICATE SPEAK YOUR TRUTH, LIVE YOUR WORD
MODEL SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE INTERACT WITH INTERESTING PEOPLE
EDUCATE YOURSELF & APPLY NEW KNOWLEDGE
CONFIDENCE & RESOLVE : I CAN, I WILL, I DECIDE
VISION: I SEE HOW
MISSION : I WANT