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101 funniest
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Contents
oCtober 2016
66
Cover Story
101 funniest
quotes ever!
Readers Digest raises a
toast to wit.
78
P.
66
davids Gift
A husband's eternal love.
a l e xa n d r i a b a r to n - d S o u z a
88
92
118
Because prevention is
better than cure.
100
outsmart Breast
cancer
kat h a ko l i daS g u p ta w i t h
Sa m a n t h a r i d e o u t
124
fantastic festivals
A round-up of some fun
festivals, across the world.
Co r n e l i a ku m f e r t a n d
C h i t r a S u b r a m a n ya m
104
132
arun C. murthy
an up ray
108
encounter in the
african Bush
140
bonus read
a lonG walk
to freeedom
An adventure with an
unlikely guardian angel.
j o h n dyS o n
w i t h S b a St i e n fa l l e t i
readers digest
oCtober 2016
| No. 10
oCtober 2016
everyday heroes
P.
department of wit
40
in eveRY issue
12 editors Note
14 Over to You
34 good News
52 News from the World of Medicine
158 thats Outrageous
163 studio
ReadeR FavouRites
18 Lifes Like that
36 it Happens Only in india
38 Points to Ponder
P.
32
51 Laugh Lines
56 all in a days Work
77 shocking Notes
86 Laughter, the Best Medicine
91 as Kids see it
116 Humour in Uniform
156 Brain teasers
159 Word Power
164 Quotable Quotes
6
oCtober 2016
readers digest
top left: i ndia piC ture; lef t: reproduCtion of da ndi m arCh (bapuj i) Cou rte Sy national g al l e ry of mod e r n art, ne w d e l h i
Vol. 57
Vol. 57
| No. 10
oCtober 2016
64
beauty
who Knew?
aRt oF Living
41
know about
procrastination
k at i e u n d e r w o o d
161
entertainment
ou r top piCkS of th e month
P.
food
46 sweet celebration
154
iShi khoSla
travel
48 culture trip
ka lya n i p r aS h e r
health
diy
documents
home
Your space
Cover illuStration:
anup ray
g a r i m a g u p ta
oCtober 2016
readers digest
indiap iCture
t e e n a ja i n kau S h a l
vol. 57 no. 10
october 2016
Editor Sanghamitra Chakraborty
Deputy Editor Chitra Subramanyam
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10
october 2016
READERS DIGEST
Editors Note
OctOber 2016
READERS DIGEST
Send an email to
editor.india@rd.com
Feeling Festive
Over to You
FeedBaCK on our august issue
HANDY HELP
The cover story How to
Survive Anything was
immensely useful. Keeping
to the Readers Digest
tradition of crisply written
capsules with an easy-toread format, it provided
handy solutions for several
present-day scenarios.
As an emergency medical
responder, I give it two
thumbs up. Keep this issue
in your backpack, for you never
know when you might need it!
SARITA M. WARIYER, Bengaluru
Maharashtra
OctOber 2016
B u l d a n a , Ma h a ra s h t ra
WAKE-UP CALL
14
TO FORGIVE
IS DIVINE
write
&
win!
readers digest
TYRELESS MIND
Apropos of the Good News
Untyringly Yours I came across a
Stay updated
with the
India Today App
Download NOW!
AVAILABLE ON:
iPhone
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ov e r to yo u
HAPPY HIGH
Age is no bar for exercise [Running
High], provided we listen to the
warning signals that our body sends
whenever we exceed our physical
limits. Taking a cue from Hippocrates, who said, Walking is mans
best medicine, there is a walkers
club in Hyderabad with about 800
members, where octogenarians like
me are active. Going for a brisk walk
early in the morning, while listening
to birds chirp against the backdrop
of a sunrise is an exhilarating
experience in itself. Doing so not
only keeps one energized but also
increases the production of happy
hormones.
DR C. JANARDHAN SINGH, Hyderabad
OctOber 2016
readers digest
MONKEY RIGHTS
If the monkey [The Case of the
Monkey Selfie] had taken the
pictures of itself consciously,
knowing that the camera is an
instrument that can capture its
image, then it has the copyright to its
photos. If the monkey had taken the
pictures accidentally, then it has no
right to its so-called selfies, and the
photographer David Slater will hold
the rights to the photographs.
C. V. R. K. PRASAD, Vijayawada, Andhra Pradesh
FAITH RESTORED
We live in a world so cut off from
humanitythe lengths we go to
to avoid our family and ignore our
friends is remarkable. Sparing time
to speak with someone has a price
in todays culture of consumerism.
So imagine my relief to know about
the two buddies [The Big
Friendship]. My heartfelt thanks
to Jason McBride for restoring my
faith in humanity, and prayers for
Derek McCormack for a healthy life.
BHAVANI MOCHERLA, Bengaluru
18
october 2016
readers digest
IllustratIon by Ma ry n adler
L i f e s L i k e t h at
also be microfiction:
No parking. Jump in. Theres cops.
n She followed my coffee-splatter
trail.
n Its clean. Dont tell your mom.
n Were fine. Theres ice cream here.
n
20
october 2016
readers digest
EVERYDAY
HEROES
Young romanian ionut, Ursu travelled to Nepal
to help earthquake victims.
Volunteering
For Smiles
IonuT, ursu showered for
october 2016
readers digest
Always ready to
help others, Ionut,
is a volunteer
paramedic in
Bucharest.
readers digest
october 2016
23
october 2016
readers digest
Movie
Reviews
Magazine
Stories
Celebrity
Interviews
Latest
Headlines
Photo
Gallery
Breaking
News
Live TV
Exclusive
Videos
Stay Updated
with India Today App
Download to experience!
SMS ITAPP TO 52424
Available on
MoMEnT oF TruTH
my life is like a song that i know only a few of the lyrics to,
so i sing those parts loudly and mumble the rest.
@CEHuDSPETH
26
october 2016
readers digest
voices
views
The
Prisoner
of Mensa
by ric k r os n e r
Rick RosneR
has the
second-highest
IQ in the
world (192),
according
to the World
Genius
Directory.
28
october 2016
readers digest
department of Wit
october 2016
29
fruitcake
moonshine
horseradish
30
october 2016
readers digest
No Religious DivisioNs
OCTOBER 2016
readers digest
indiap iCTuRE
Mohandas
Karamchand
Gandhi (1869
1948) was one of
Indias founding
fathers and the
architect of Indias
non-violent
freedom movement.
OCTOBER 2016
33
Good News
34
october 2016
readers digest
heroes
rescue on everest
Just 500 metres from the summit
of everest, British climber Leslie
Binns was only hours away from
scaling the worlds highest peak.
But he turned back to save the
life of a fellow mountaineer.
when the twice-decorated
ex-serviceman (pictured below)
came upon indian climber sunita
hazra, who had run out of oxygen
and was unable to descend on her
own, he decided he had to help.
i told my sherpa we were not
going up and that we would give
sunita my spare oxygen bottle and
take her down, says Binns, 42, who
lost sight in one eye while serving in
afghanistan. after an arduous and
tim hulse
readers digest
october 2016
35
it happenS
Only in India
ramayana draft one
&
Basu
Samitu Epuri
j
a
R
october 2016
readerS digeSt
Source: timesofindia.com
october 2016
37
Points to Ponder
i put up a poster in my room
of rio 2016, and made a
drawing of medals and a
podium i would see it
before i slept and the
first thing when i woke
up. girls used to say
i had gone mad.
saKshi MaliK,
novelist,
t. M. Krishna,
columnist,
38
OctOber 2016
readers digest
artiste,
speaking at the
violinist,
athlete,
a c t o r a n d w r i t e r,
MahatMa Gandhi,
in Young India
jesse WilliaMs
in a speech
president,
readers digest
OctOber 2016
39
be independent.
sanghamitra shah,
Nag pur
venecia sangma,
Tura , Me ghalaya
selfie stick.
vidya mishra,
Vado dara
... say, i am
extroverted.
rohan malekar,
Mumb ai
40
october 2016
readers digest
since
2007
i ndi api cture
ART of living
Neuroscience says giving can make you healthier
and happier. Heres how to start doing it right now.
By SARA AD H IKARI
readers digest
october 2016
41
october 2016
readers digest
in di api cture
Donate to a cause
meaningful to you: This is
how I started after my husband fell
ill with cancer and then succumbed
to it. Every year, for five years, I did a
charity fun run to raise money for
Cancer Research UK.
But when I returned to India in
2012, I found there were so many
organizations doing wonderful
work across other equally urgent
causes that nobody knew about.
Questions like who do you give to
and how? prompted my idea of
smallchange.ngo, a portal that
showcases non-profits to promote
giving in India.
There are many other India-based
october 2016
43
october 2016
readers digest
Food
Sweet Celebration
By Is hI K h osl a
october 2016
readers digest
Go light
For those trying to lose weight, it
may be a good idea to perform the
balancing act beforehand. Create
achievable weight-loss goals a few
weeks before. To stick to your plan,
know that your healthy weight will
keep you fighting fit.
Snack smart
Opt for roasted/baked, non-fried,
grilled and barbecued foods, and
choose small portions. If at all you
overindulge in snacks, keep dinner
light or skip it altogether. If you are
inviting people home, prepare
savouries and sweets with healthy
Limit alcohol
Avoid more than two medium
drinks of wine or other alcoholic
beverages, but its best to limit
your intake to one. If you have to
go through a long evening over
drinks, dilute them with water or
soda, or sip on water intermittently.
Diabetics should be especially
careful as excessive alcohol
can lead to hypoglycaemiaa
condition in which blood sugar
drops to below normal, leading to
symptoms ranging from dry mouth
and excessive sweating to seizures
and, in extreme cases, even death.
In dI apI cture
Dont force-feed
Learn to say no politely but firmly.
If youre the host, please dont force
people to go for extra helpings. Look
for alternative ways to say no if
someone loads your plate with more
food than you want. Another
strategy is to let your host/guest/
how to make
healthy choices
n Use half the
quantity of sugar in
the recipe or combine
natural low-calorie
sweeteners to make indian and
Western desserts.
n Fruit pure can be used to
sweeten ice creams and kulfi.
n dry fruits such as dates,
figs, apricots, raisins make for
good munchies.
n squeeze rasagullas.
Go easy on desserts
Skip desserts if possible or
choose light ones instead of
deep-fried ones. And share with
your dining companions.
Ishi Khosla is a clinical nutritionist,
founder of Whole Foods India, founder
president of celiac Society of India and
director of www.theweightmonitor.com.
adapted FrOM prevention india. March 2010 LiViNg Media iNdia LiMited.
readers digest
october 2016
47
travel
Culture Trip
By Ka lya n i P r ash e r
OCTOBER 2016
readers digest
Namchi, Sikkim
Now is the perfect time to travel to
one of the most beautiful places you
will ever visit, before it gets too cold
in the higher reaches of the Eastern
Himalayas. Located amid the tall and
impressive mountains is Namchi, a
scenic town that affords 360-degree
views of snow-capped mountains.
This is where the Namchi Mahotsav is
celebrated each year in October.
The town has a 135-foot Guru
Padmasambhava statue, believed to
be the highest one of the saint in the
world. The festival also offers a chance
to buy local art and crafts, and sample
the cuisine of southern Sikkim. The
Namchi Mahotsav is also when you
can join in the festivities and take
part in the local dance and music,
and other cultural activities organized by the tourism department.
Majestic mountains
surround Guru
Padmasambhavas
statue at Namchi.
alamy
Jaipur, Rajasthan
Billed as the worlds largest literary
eventyoull be forgiven for calling it
a carnivalit puts Jaipur firmly on
the culture map of India. Over 50,000
people attend the Jaipur Literature
Festival every year, from ages five to
95, for the unique opportunity to
hear, meet and interact with their
most beloved writers. If you lean more
towards current affairs and analysis
than literature, this is still a good
place to bea range of hot-button
topics of the world are discussed by
the best minds during the fest.
Usually held at the end of January,
the Jaipur Lit Fest often falls on the
Republic Day weekend, making it a
convenient getaway from Delhi.
This is also the ideal time to be in
Rajasthan, when the afternoon sun is
mild and evenings just a bit nippy.
Valvande, Maharashtra
You may have seen and loved Warli
paintings but few would have heard
of Valvande, the small village in
Maharashtra where the indigenous
Warli tribe create this delicate craft.
About 120 km from Mumbai, this is a
slice of pastoral bliss, a journey back
in time, to explore and discover a way
of life lost and forgotten.
Its the people who make a
culture, and interacting with the
tribal artisans here will be more
memorable than looking at or buying
the beautiful, white and intricate
readers digest
OCTOBER 2016
49
C U lt U r e t r i P
OCTOBER 2016
readers digest
Jagdalpur, Chhattisgarh
The capital of Bastar district,
Jagdalpur is the green heart of
Chhattisgarhs tribal belt and also the
centre of arts and crafts in the state.
This is where you can buy bell metal,
wrought iron and other famous
Bastar crafts directly from artisans.
Its also here that you can witness,
and take part in, the unique Bastar
Dussehra that is celebrated over
75 days! The Bastar Dussehra has
nothing to do with Lord Rama or
Ravana. It is, instead, an ode to the
goddess Danteshwari, the revered
deity of the erstwhile royals and
Bastars tribes. Starting in August and
lasting till the end of October, the last
10 days are the most magical with
celebrations reaching a feverish pitch
across the district, and at its height at
the Danteshwari Temple in Jagdalpur.
Started over 600 years ago by the then
royal family, this is a glimpse into the
life of the tribal community.
Getting there: Fly to Raipur and drive
about 285 km to get there.
alamy
Laugh Lines
smart bombs
Somebody
ought to cross
ballpoint
pens with
coat hangers
so that the
pens will
multiply
instead of
disappearing.
anonymous
Scientists tell us
that the fastest
animal on Earth,
with a top speed
of 120 feet per
second, is a cow
that has been
dropped out of
a helicopter.
A computer once
beat me at chess,
but it was no match
for me at kickboxing.
Emo PhiliPs
davE barry
Have my doubts
about this smart
water, considering
how easily its captured and bottled.
@hmittElmark
@goldEngatEblond
readers digest
oCTobEr 2016
51
World of Medicine
Does exposure to everyday urban air
contaminants outweigh the health
benefits of regularly walking or cycling
outdoors? According to computer
modelling from Cambridge University
and several other institutions, a city
dweller on average would need to
walk for 16 hours each day or bicycle
for seven in order to inhale enough
pollutants to trump the health boost
provided by regular physical activity.
october 2016
readers digest
readers digest
october 2016
53
HealtH
doctors Orders
54
october 2016
readers digest
Sweaty palms:
HyperHidrosis
october 2016
55
all in
A Days Work
You might be overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub.
october 2016
readers digest
im emPloyeD at a computer-
rabbi
the group Frightened
ttish
sco
the
should have been
it.
bb
ra
ed
ten
gh
band Fri
The Guardian
the follo
wing corr
ects
errors in
the brok
er
listing: a
berdeen
is in
scotland
, not sau
di
arabia; a
ntwerp is
in
Belgium
, not Barb
ados;
Belfast is
in north
ern
ireland, n
ot nigeri
a;
Cardiff is
in Wales
, not
Vietnam
; Helsink
i is in
Finland,
not Fiji;
Moscow
is in russ
ia,
not Qata
r.
Business
Insuranc
e
source: pasadenastarnews.com
october 2016
57
DIY
october 2016
readers digest
AADHAAR CARD
raj verm a
october 2016
59
K n ow Yo u r ( e s s e n t i a l ) d o c u m e n t s
DRIVING LICENCE
october 2016
readers digest
PAN CARD
R E A D E R S D I g E S T. c o . I N
VOTING CARD
of India
Purpose: It makes you eligible
to vote.
What is it? Apart from allowing you
PASSPORT
Affairs
Purpose: A passport is needed to
readers digest
october 2016
61
Home
Instant Makeover
for Your Space
By G a ri m a G u p ta
A good scrub
The easiest way to make your home
feel fresh and clean is to do a top to
bottom, empty-out-the-cabinets-style
clean up. This is a good time to get rid
of clutter: Youll see the sparkle after
its gone. If you dont have the time,
book a home visit with a cleaning
service. Services like Broomberg
(Delhi/NCR), UrbanClap, Mr. Right
and the app HouseJoy (all across
India) can help you find professionals
at competitive rates. Theres nothing
these guys cant buff up to a shine
kitchens, bathrooms, the interior
and exterior of your home!
A new coat
Dont have time for an inside-out
paint job? Just refresh the exterior
of your house in a new colour scheme.
Your home will get an instant makeover! You can give your rooms a new
62
OCTOBER 2016
readers digest
Light em up
Consider replacing the fluorescent
lighting in your home to a softer,
INDIAP ICTURE
OCTOBER 2016
63
Beauty
Invest in a good
conditioner
october 2016
readers digest
Go easy on exfoliation
Excessive exfoliation removes the
protective moisture barrier, which
locks in hydration and keeps out
irritants, making the skin dry and
vulnerable. Steer clear of all walnut
or apricot scrubs as their large grains
may damage your skin, says
Dr Soma Sarkar, dermatologist,
About Face, Mumbai. Choose a mild
scrub instead. Use it once a week
and follow up with a ceramidecontaining moisturizer to help
restore your skins barrier.
In dI apI cture
adapted FrOM prevention india. january 2015 LiVing Media india LiMited.
readers digest
october 2016
65
cover story
Readers Digest
coMPLeTe GUiDe To
witticisms
Quips
reTorTs
Rejoinders
pithy Replies
f o r
e v e r y
o c c a s i o n
66
OctOber 2016
readers digest
Part I:
Mu s s o l i n i q u o t e )
anonymous
KellIe pIcKler, c o u n t r y m u s i c s i n g e r
OctOber 2016
67
g u i d e to t h e b e st q u ot e s fo r e v e ry o cc as i o n
Part II:
that funny.
68
OctOber 2016
readers digest
r e a d e r s d I g e s t. c o . I n
still havent.
ollowing an argument, an
angry Lady Astor told Winston
Churchill, Winston, if you were
my husband, Id put poison in your
coffee. Churchill snapped, If you
come true.
readers digest
OctOber 2016
69
g u i d e to t h e b e st q u ot e s fo r e v e ry o cc as i o n
Part III:
Timed Lines
The right line at the right time is a thing of beauty.
Memorize these tried-and-true replies for any situation.
He was so narrow-minded,
he could see through a
keyhole with both eyes.
molly IvIns, a u t h o r
70
OctOber 2016
readers digest
r e a d e r s d I g e s t. c o . I n
OctOber 2016
71
g u i d e to t h e b e st q u ot e s fo r e v e ry o cc as i o n
Part IV:
OctOber 2016
readers digest
r e a d e r s d I g e s t. c o . I n
readers digest
OctOber 2016
73
g u i d e to t h e b e st q u ot e s fo r e v e ry o cc as i o n
Part V:
Point/Counterpoint
How to win the argument, switch sides, then win again.
dogs vs. cats
poInt: a dog teaches a boy
OctOber 2016
readers digest
r e a d e r s d I g e s t. c o . I n
is that
youre trying to get to the city of
gold, and thats enough. Come
on board, they say. Well adjust.
suKetu mehta, a u t h o r
cans are the party that says government doesnt work, and then
they get elected and prove it.
of adequacy.
walter Kerr, c r i t i c
p. J. orourKe, s t i l l a w r i t e r
brendan behan, Ir i s h a u t h o r
chiding to lose
one parent may be
regarded as a mis
fortune; to lose both
looks like carelessness.
oscar wIlde
cartoonist
readers digest
OctOber 2016
75
g u i d e to t h e b e st q u ot e s fo r e v e ry o cc as i o n
Part VI:
Desi Gags
Who said Indians dont have a sense of humour?
Just beIng funny
OctOber 2016
readers digest
Shocking Notes
animal magnetism
Bella Mia, a Maltese
terrier, enjoys the
finer things in life,
including filet
mignon and her
own boudoir with a
double bed. Which
is why her owner, a
New York-based
accountant, is leaving
more than $1 million in her
will to Bella. She wants to ensure
that shes taken care of in the way
that shes used to.
source: Daily Mail
Police charged a Pennsylvania
ago, Vedprasad
Pandey, of Chattisgarhs Bhadesar
village, kept a few pythons as pets.
They found their home in the hollow
of an old peepul tree near his house.
His grandson Mahatmaram is now
carrying the legacy forward. The
60-year-old has added to the
collection and lives with over
100 pythons. He believes they are
lucky and radiate positive energy.
source: catchnews.com
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78
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Davids
Gift
Her husband left her something that is now
fragrant with his love
By AlexAnd riA BA rto n- d S o uzA
I ndIap Icture
october 2016
79
d av i d s g i f t
80
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IndIap Icture
r e A d e r S d i g e S t. c o . i n
heAlthy choiceS
do people who run know that were not food anymore?
@iAMenidcoleS lA w
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81
Laughter
the best medicine
86
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JokeS FRom tHe CIA, tHe IRS, AnD otHeRS you neveR
knew HAD A SenSe oF HumouR
the CIA
the spy agencys
first tweet, in June
2014, was: We can
neither confirm nor
deny that this is our
first tweet.
For its anniversary
in 2015: in our second
year we are going
to
#
#twitterversary.
source: the cia
environmentalists
how do electric-car
owners drive? One
hand on the wheel, the
other patting themselves on the back.
source: environmental
defense Fund
the IRS
i am proud to be
paying taxes in the
United states. the
entertainer
source: internal revenue service
vegetarians
Q: how many vegetarians does it take to
screw in a lightbulb?
a: i dont know, but
where do you get your
protein? source: vegetus.org
the marines
the marine general
went to the doctor
for his annual physical.
among the questions
his doctor asked was
When was the last
time you made love?
Oh, mused the
general, 1945.
that long ago?
asked the doctor.
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87
The
Secret
to
Speaking Up
By da n i elle Gro en
88
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partners who
had direct
conversations
about conflict
held relationships
to a higher bar.
Why We DOnt
Speak Up
Theres no shame in being cautious
its proven to be a sound evolutionary
strategy. Because of the way our
brains have developed, we learn to
err on the side of prudence, scanning
the horizon for what we fear. Is that
shape going to kill me? I should run,
Harrison says. Thats what helped
humans survive.
Being confronted with disapproval
or distance in a relationship can be
as scary as staring down a predator,
so its tempting to avoid voicing our
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t H e s e C r e t tO s P e a K i N g U P
understanding
what really matters
to you puts you
in the best position
to speak on your
own behalf.
Were especially disinclined to
contradict an expert or ask questions,
which means a doctors office can be a
difficult place to advocate for yourself.
Be very specific about what youre
going through and what you need,
Morris says. Dont just say youre
hurting, she suggestssay the pain
is an eight out of 10 and that it feels
like a dagger in your left knee. You can
also bring a friend to make sure you
90
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As Kids See It
october 2016
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92
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The NexT
Mass
shooTer
By Ma r k F o l l Ma n F R o m Mot h e r Jo ne s
photographs by spencer h eyfron
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T h e R ac e To STo p T h e N e x T m aSS S h o oT e R
october 2016
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cRuShed iN a cRevice
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T h e R ac e To STo p T h e N e x T m aSS S h o oT e R
a TerriBle Toll
The UniTed STaTeS has a long and shocking history of mass shootings. here are
nine of the most deadly attacks in recent years.
20 april 1999 students eric harris,
18, and dylan Klebold, 17, killed 13 at
columbine high School, Littleton,
colorado.
16 april 2007 Student Seunghui
cho, 23, killed 32 at virginia polytechnic institute and State university.
3 april 2009 Jiverly Wong, 41, killed
13 at an immigrant community center
in Binghamton, New York
5 november 2009 army psychiatrist
major Nidal malik hasan killed 13 at
Fort hood, Texas.
20 July 2012 James e. holmes,
24, killed 12 at a movie theatre in
aurora, colorado.
14 december 2012 adam Lanza, 20,
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r e a d e r s d i g e s T. c o . i n
healThy choices
ive stopped going to the gym now that ive realized i can just
watch cNN on mute at home.
@liZhackeTT
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100
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My daughter
approached
a strange man
on the beach.
What happened
next was a
real lesson.
Give a Girl
Fish
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R e A D e R s D i g e s T. c o . i N
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The
SUCCeSS
CODe
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ated and to feel that sense of ownership and success. It gave me a sense of
control over something as complex as
a computer. Given the ambiguity surrounding these devices, the fact that I
could tell them what to do was pretty
empowering. My parents didnt think
twice about sending me to an out-ofschool course to learn more about
programming.
i wAs heAvily inspired by stories of technology innovators like Bill
Joy, co-founder of Sun Microsystems,
Microsofts Bill Gates and Steve Jobs
of Apple. Then [in 1994] I read an
article in Readers Digest on Michael
Dell, founder and CEO of Dell Inc. His
entrepreneurial story that started with
By Arun C . M urth y
october 2016
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We are a product of
our opportunities
and of our ability to
take advantage of
them. You have to
be willing to do the
hard work and
transform yourself.
that we would go public in three and
a half years and become the fastest
company in history to earn $100
million in annual revenue.
Steve Jobs once said, You cant
connect the dots looking forward;
you can only connect them looking
backwards. So you have to trust
that the dots will somehow connect
in your future. You have to trust
r e A d e r s d i g e s t. C o . i n
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Encounter
in the
African
Bush
By J o hN dys oN
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yellow-brown teeth.
Like a huge mousetrap,
the crocs jaws clamped
shut on both of Alistairs
arms. In spite of the searing
pain he had enough presence of mind to take a last
breath as the croc dragged
him under. Alistair managed to wrench his left hand
free, but the reptile held
firmly to his right forearm
as it swam backwards, dragging him to deeper water.
The crocodile spun its
body and whirled the 90kilo six-foot man around in
the water like a dishcloth
being rinsed. Alistair felt
his right forearm snap;
his elbow and shoulder
dislocated. It paused. Then Alistair
realized it was turning again.
The scaly armour of the crocs middle scratched the inside of Alistairs
own muscular thighs. Instinctively
he clamped both legs round its belly
and locked his ankles behind its back.
When the beast rolled, he rolled with
it. Locked in a fatal embrace, man and
crocodile sank into deeper water.
dEspEraTE maNoEuvrE
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r E a d E r s d i g E s T. c o . i N
a NEw worry
Wracked by pain,
alistair saW the
darkness Was closing
inand the time
When predators
begin to proWl.
the sand bank. Now at least everyone
was together.
Any thought of swimming for
shore was dashed by the thought of
Alistairs ordealand the sight of a
12-foot crocodile sunning itself on the
river bank. Their best hope still was
with Alistair.
Easy prEy
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A s t r a n g e n o i s e b ro u g h t
Alistair fully awake. He heard
heavy breathing and plodding
footsteps. They were moving
towards him. Craning his neck,
he made out a set of enormous
curving horns and the vast bulk
of the last animal he expected
to seea Cape buffalo! A lone
bull buffalo is one of the most
fearedand treacherous
animals in Africa.
Standing 20 metres away in
the clearing, it lifted its muzzle
to catch Alistairs scent. Its
enormous horns spanned more
than three feet. He knew that one hook
of those horns could toss a man high
in the air. The hunting world was full
of stories of hunters gored or trampled
to death by these behemoths.
Unable to run, Alistair sat up
painfully and lobbed a stone, hitting
the beast in the head. But the buffalo
merely shook its head as if bothered
by a fly and stepped nearer.
At a distance of 10 metres the
buffalo stopped and gazed at Alistair.
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oCToBer 2016
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Humour in Uniform
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Outsmart
Breast
Cancer
How to manage your risk
with easy moves
By Kat h a Ko li Das gup ta with sam antha R i Deou t
one: its causes. Its not unusual for women to develop this form of
cancer without having even one of the known risk factors. The
statistics are scary: One in 22 women in urban India may develop
breast cancer in her lifetime. According to a 2016 report published
by the Indian Council of Medical Research, breast cancer is now the
most common cancer among urban Indian women, with approximately 1,44,000 new cases being reported every year. The average
age of the high-risk group in India is 4346 years, unlike in the West
where women aged 5357 years are more prone to the disease.
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120
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A growing number of
young women in their
20s and 30s seem to
be afflicted. The good
news is that you can
take active steps to
lower your risk. Moreover, detected early,
breast cancer is one of
the curable cancers.
There are also new
ways to improve your
risk profile, including
becoming aware of the
geography of your breasts and tracing
your fathers family history, not just
your mothers. You wont eliminate
risk altogether; the biggest risk for
breast cancer is being a woman.
But you may be able to dramatically
slash your chances of developing the
disease. Heres where to start.
R e a D e R s D i g e s t. c o . i n
factors, such as the history of a womans hormone exposure. Ask the radiologist who does your mammogram
whether your breasts are dense. While
you cant reduce their density (though
it does tend to reduce with age), you
can protect yourself by asking your
doctor about adding MRI or ultrasound
to your screening regimen, or switching from traditional mammography
to digital, which is higher in contrast,
making it easier to see abnormalities in
the dense tissue.
Many of the risk factors identified so
farparticular genes, family history,
dense breast tissue and so onare beyond your control. Nevertheless, there
are a few preventive steps you can take.
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Detect it eaRly
foR queRies anD aDvice on when to staRt mammogRam
scReening and how often to repeat it, consult a specialist. carry your
medical records and explain your family history. according to dr ramesh
sarin, senior oncologist at indraprastha apollo Hospital, new delhi, early
detection and advances in treatment dramatically improves breast cancer
survival rates by up to 90 to 95 per cent. follow this schedule to monitor
your risk:
1. 20 years and above: do a breast self-examination and follow it up with
a clinical examination by your doctor every couple of years. according to
the american cancer society (acs), all women should be familiar with
how their breasts normally look and feel, and report any changes to their
doctor right away.
2. 3040 years: You should get an annual clinical breast exam from
your physician.
3. 4050 years: schedule in a mammogram every two years.
4. 50 years and older: You should get an annual screening mammogram
5. acs recommends that women with a family history of breast cancer, a
known brca gene mutation or those who have had radiation therapy to
the chest between the ages of 1030 years should get an mri and a
mammogram every year.
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R e a D e R s D i g e s t. c o . i n
Get Moving
When it comes to controlling your risk, staying active is key. The
protective effects of
exercise against breast
cancer require further
study, but research has
shown that even as little as 2.5 hours of brisk
walking per week could
reduce the chances
of developing the disease by around 18 per cent compared
to a sedentary lifestyle. The reason:
Oestrogen. Before menopause, oestrogen is produced largely by a womans
ovaries; after menopause, when ovaries
stop producing the hormone, most of
the oestrogen comes from fat tissue.
The more fat, the greater the oestrogen.
Second, exercise alters oestrogen
metabolism, says a study in the journal
Cancer Epidemiology,
Biomarkers & Prevention. Among women
who exercise, the metabolite ratio of good
oestrogens to bad
oestrogens (those that
can damage DNA and
increase a womans
breast-cancer risk)
improved by roughly
25 per cent found
the study.
Remember that prevention management isnt an all-or-nothing endeavour.
Nobody lives risk-free, nor is that a realistic goal. But being aware of potential hazards means you can take action
by getting mammograms before
age 50, for instanceif you have any
risk factors.
inputs fRom sweta pal
anD gaRima gupta
WitH additional inputs from prevention india. october 2015 liVing media india limited.
we Do apologize (BaDly)
A local newspaper printed the following notice:
congratulations george brownridge, for pleasing 15 women
for an entire day. We were all exhausted and very satisfied and
look forward to next year. We all thank you!
... and were forced to run this the next day:
our sincere apology to george brownridge and staff.
our intentions were to thank him for a generous holiday
shopping trip he arranged ... any inappropriate innuendos were
unintentional and we take full responsibility.
source: huffingtonpost.com
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Fantastic
Festivals
are out there waiting to be celebrated, all
over the world. Join us on a trip to the most
thrilling events taking place around the
globe and in India.
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PhotoS: Al Amy
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F a N t a s t I C F e s t I va L s
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Food
Soul
for the
By M arc el Th ero ux
fr o m T RAV E L & L E I SU R E
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P hOtO, PreVI OUS SP reAD: SI M e/eStOck OPP OSI te PAGe, c LOckWISe Fr OM tOP L eF t: cOU rteSy AUbe rG e
DU P Ont De cOLLOnGeS; ceLIne cLA net 2; MAUrIce rOUGe MOnt/cO rbIS; ce L Ine cL Ane t
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r e a d e r s d i g e s T. c o . i n
Travel Tips
GettinG there: Flights to Lyon
are available from indian metros
via major european cities, or take
the two-hour TgV train from Pariss
gare de Lyon, which departs every
30 to 90 minutes.
LodGinG: chteau de Bagnols is a
classic 13th-century chteau-hotel in
Bagnols, outside Lyon; check
chateaudebagnols.com. Mama
shelter offers Lyon Modern high
design in the city centre; check
mamashelter.com.
dininG: caf comptoir abel, 25
rue guynemer, ```. lauberge du
pont de collonges, 40 Quai de la
Plage, Collonges, au Mont dor, ````.
la Mre Brazier, 12 rue royale, ````.
la Meunire, 11 rue Neuve, ```.
arsenic, 132 rue Pierre Corneille, ``.
ShoppinG: March saint-antoine is
a local outdoor market for fresh
produce, Quai st-antoine.
More inforMation:
www.lyon-france.com
pricing key: `` `1,5005,000; ``` `5,000
10,000; ```` more than `10,000
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A Long
WALk
to
Freedom
By E u n su n Kim , with sB asti E n FallE t i
f r om A T h o u sAn d Mi l e s To Fr e e do M
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Bonus rEad
We had
nothing to lose.
We were guided by
our instinct for survival
when we closed the
door of our home,
this time forever.
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a l o n g Wa l k t o f r e e d o m
There was no electricity in our apartment, no heat either. But I hardly felt
the cold because I was completely
exhausted after several days without
eating. I felt like the ground was going
to open up and swallow me, like I was
going to get sucked into the depths
of the earth. I was sure I was about to
die of hunger. I wasnt afraid anymore.
But I didnt want to leave the world
like this, without a trace of myself
left behind.
And so I started to write my last will
and testament.
It was December 1997. And I was
11 years old.
My mother and older sister, Keumsun, had left the apartment six days
before for Rajin-Sonbong, a nearby
city, to try to find food. I wanted my
mother to know that I had waited for
singing songs
As a young girl I never could have
imagined that my life would change
so quickly and drastically. Up until I
was nine years old, I was a happy girl.
Eundeok is located in the mountains of north-eastern North Korea,
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a l o n g Wa l k t o f r e e d o m
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PuddlEs oF Blood
One of my favourite songs was
A Thousand Miles of Learning, which
recounted the young Kim Il Sungs
odyssey across the mountains in
China after he fought the Japanese.
I had no desire to criticize the dictatorship of our leaders. But one
particular event when I was in
primary school started sowing the
seeds of doubt about our country.
One morning the teacher told us that
r E a d E r s d i g E s t. c o . i n
crucial dEcision
Although my body was thin as a twig
on that December evening, I still felt
like I weighed a ton. Id slumped on
to the hard concrete floor as the darkness of night swallowed me. I no
longer had the strength to continue
on. My mum had left me. My body
remained completely still as I heard
footsteps echoing from the staircase.
On that cold December night in 1997,
when I was 11 years old, I knew that I
was going to die before even reaching
adolescence.
Suddenly, a muffled sound reached
my ears. Was I dreaming? I half
opened one of my eyes. A dark silhouette appeared before me, its shadow
growing larger and larger. Frightened,
I lifted myself up to see that the shadowy figure looked familiar. It was my
mother, along with Keumsun right
behind her. I felt a rush of adrenaline
jolt through my body, and my anguish
started to dissipate. I didnt know it
was possible to be as happy as I felt in
that instant.
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a l o n g Wa l k t o f r e e d o m
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a l o n g Wa l k t o f r e e d o m
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a l o n g Wa l k t o f r e e d o m
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r E a d E r s d i g E s t. c o . i n
a nEw liFE
During that frigid night in February
1999, a pale glow hung over the trees.
The strong winter winds slapped me in
the face. At the top of the hill a wisp of
grey smoke rose up into the air. Since
we needed to get warm, we walked
closer to the smoke.
Around the small fire we were able
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r E a d E r s d i g E s t. c o . i n
A ThousAnd Miles To FreedoM by eunsun kim With sbastian falletti, 2012 by ditions michel lafon, english
translation 2015 by david tian. rePrinted With Permission by st. martins Press.
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Who
KNEW
13 Things
You Should
Know About
Procrastination
By Kati e U n d e rwo o d
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I NDIAP IctUre
10
Precrastinationgetting tasks
done as soon as possible in order
to get them off our platesis also
a thing. Precrastination allows us
to free up space in our working
memories, even if rushing involves
more effort or risk.
11
12
13
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Brain Teasers
Challenge yourself by solving these puzzles and mind-stretchers,
then check your answers below.
Without going
over a line,
trace a path
from the
arrow to
the flag.
The numbers in this table follow a rule. Whats the missing number?
7
2
156
2
12
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1
8
|
readers digest
3
6
4
2
6
4
(geoma ze) Craig Ka pla n; (m ystery num ber, mi sla belled) m arCel dane si
GeoMaze
(Easy)
Make-a-sHape (Difficult)
Answers
Geomaze
mystery
Number
14. the
sequence on
the bottom
row is made
by multiplying
each number
in the top row
by two, then
arranging
those products in reverse
order from
right to left.
make-a-sHape
Mislabelled (Easy)
mislabelled
Weve seen first-hand that piggy bank b
contains `20. piggy bank a cant contain
`10 because that would mean it was correctly labelled. it must, therefore, contain
`15, leaving piggy bank C to contain `10.
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Thats Outrageous!
We live our lives
on screens, constantly
consuming and sharing
news and views online.
This has provided new
spaces for freedom of
expression and given a
voice to the unheard. But
in recent times, the
medium has regressed
into a virtual street, where
heckling and harassment
abound. Everyone is fair game.
However, as the online world mirrors
the real, those perceived as
soft targetswomen and children
are most vulnerable.
The playground bully has a
wider platform now. In a survey
commissioned by Microsoft across
25 countries, 53 per cent of children in
India, aged eight to 17, said they were
subjected to a range of activities that
can be considered online bullying.
India reports the third highest
incidence of bullying. This, despite the
prevalence of formal school policies
(38 per cent against 23 per cent in the
surveyed countries).
With women, however, online abuse
is on another level. Any woman with
a degree of social media presence
can be a target, with rampant and
relentless abuse. Activists, journalists,
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in di api cture
Cyberbullying
Word Power
Say is a versatile verb, but there are plenty of other options
waiting to be heard. Take this quiz to fill your vocabulary with
alternate ways of describing speech.
By Sam anth a Rid eo ut
1. animadvert (anim-ad-vert)
A: speak out against something.
B: advertise through word of mouth.
C: use a gentle tone.
2. parry (par-ry)A: repeat.
B: wonder aloud. C: skilfully evade
a question.
3. asseverate (ass-ever-ate)
A: declare emphatically.
B: make a counterargument.
C: insult viciously.
4. concede (cun-seed)A: whine.
B: grudgingly admit. C: explain a plan.
5. repine (re-pine)A: say with a
A: describe enthusiastically.
B: gossip behind someones back.
C: scold.
8. perorate (pair-o-rate)
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word power
answers
1. animadvert[A] speak out
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710: fair
1112: good
1315: excellent
Entertainment
our best picks of the Month
Movie
of the
Month
Films
Books
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e n t e r ta i n M e n t
Television
GAMING
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Studio
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Quotable Quotes
Whats the world
for if you cant
make it up the
way you want it?
to n i M o r r i so n , n o v e l i s t
barns burnt
downnow
I can see
the moon.
M izu ta M a sa H i d e ,
Japanese poet
Discipline
equals
freedom.
j o c ko wi lli n k ,
B. r. aMBedk ar,
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f rom top: f rAN CoI S DUrA ND/GEttY ImAGES; I NDIAp I CtUrE; Am It KUm Ar
H e atH e r H av r i le s k y, a d v i c e c o l u m n i s t
retired Nav y SE A L