`100

october
2016

The poWer of giving

PAGe 41

The race To STop The nexT

maSS ShooTer
PAGe 92

101 funniest

Quotes Ever!

featuring Shah rukh khan, navjot Singh Sidhu

and lalu prasad Yadav
PAGe 66

davidS gifT of eTernal love

PAGe 78

WhaT YoUr handS SaY aboUT

YoUr healTh
PAGe 54

bonUS read

freedom from norTh korea

PAGe 140

readersdigest.co.in

The SecreT To Speaking Up ............................ 88

hUmoUr in Uniform ....................................... 116
phoTo feaTUre: fanTaSTic feSTivalS ........ 124
Word poWer ...................................................... 159

FOR SALE IN INDIA AND NEPAL ONLY

Get More RD
connect with us beyond these pages

Were online ...

browse through our website for the latest stories
from india. share the links with your friends from
abroad who dont have access to good news
from here. Go to readersdigest.co.in/contactus
to leave us a note.

... And on email

tell us a story if it hasnt already been published, for our Kindness of
Strangers and My Story sections. anecdotes and jokes are welcome in
Lifes Like That; Humour in Uniform; As Kids See It; Laughter, the Best
Medicine; All in a Days Work and It Happens Only in India. do share the
source, so we can verify the facts. Mail us at editor.india@rd.com

Digital Edition
Rd is now available as a digital edition!
pay `100 for an issue and enjoy the
magazine on your phone or tablet. Visit
http://subscriptions.intoday.in/
subscriptions/rd/digital-magazinesubscription.jsp

Customer Services
Contact Customer Services for renewals, gifts,
address changes, payments, account information and
all other enquiries. phone: 1800 1800 001 (bsnL
customers can call toll-free on this number)
e-mail: subscription.rd@intoday.com

We are Social!
Follow us on Facebook
facebook.com/
readersdigest.co.in

and instagram

@readersdigestindia

for updates on the

buzz in our world.

subscribe
use the reply-paid card. Visit readersdigest.co.in or write to:
subscription.rd@intoday.com, or to Readers Digest, a-61, sector-57, noida, u.p.
201301. tel: 0120-2469900. For bulk subscriptions 0120-4807100, extn. 3267.

Contents
oCtober 2016

66

Cover Story

101 funniest
quotes ever!
Readers Digest raises a
toast to wit.

78

P.

66

davids Gift
A husband's eternal love.
a l e xa n d r i a b a r to n - d S o u z a

88

the secret to speakinG up

How to put your point across,
effectively. da n i e l l e g r o e n

92

118

the race to stop the

next mass shooter

Because prevention is
better than cure.

On why gun rampages happen and

how to prevent them.
mark follman

100

Give a Girl a fish

outsmart Breast
cancer
kat h a ko l i daS g u p ta w i t h
Sa m a n t h a r i d e o u t

124

fantastic festivals
A round-up of some fun
festivals, across the world.

It was an encouter that opened

her heart. v i C k i g l e m b o C k i

Co r n e l i a ku m f e r t a n d
C h i t r a S u b r a m a n ya m

104

the success code

A story of hard work, belief in ones
ability and taking that leap of faith.

132

arun C. murthy

an up ray

108

drama in real life

encounter in the
african Bush

food for the soul

A celebration of the joy of
eating. m a r C e l t h e r o u x

140

bonus read

a lonG walk
to freeedom

An adventure with an
unlikely guardian angel.

Did she escape North

Korea, alive? e u n S u n k i m

j o h n dyS o n

w i t h S b a St i e n fa l l e t i

readers digest

oCtober 2016

| No. 10

oCtober 2016

everyday heroes

22 volunteering for smiles

A young man travels to
earthquake-affected Nepal.
a n a- m a r i a C i o b a n u

voices & views

P.

department of wit

40

28 the prisoner of mensa

The unique problems of being
smart. r i C k r o S n e r

in eveRY issue

words of lasting interest

32 we are the world

12 editors Note

Tolerance and fraternity,

as seen by the Father of
the Nation.
m. k. gandhi

14 Over to You
34 good News
52 News from the World of Medicine
158 thats Outrageous
163 studio

finish this Sentence

40 one day, i will

finally work up the

courage to ...

ReadeR FavouRites
18 Lifes Like that
36 it Happens Only in india
38 Points to Ponder

P.

32

51 Laugh Lines
56 all in a days Work
77 shocking Notes
86 Laughter, the Best Medicine
91 as Kids see it
116 Humour in Uniform
156 Brain teasers
159 Word Power
164 Quotable Quotes
6

oCtober 2016

readers digest

top left: i ndia piC ture; lef t: reproduCtion of da ndi m arCh (bapuj i) Cou rte Sy national g al l e ry of mod e r n art, ne w d e l h i

Vol. 57

Vol. 57

| No. 10

oCtober 2016

64

beauty

Bring on the Glow

Sw e ta pa l

who Knew?

154 13 things You should

P.

aRt oF Living

41

know about
procrastination
k at i e u n d e r w o o d

161

entertainment
ou r top piCkS of th e month

41 the power of Giving

Sa r a a d h i ka r i

P.

food

46 sweet celebration

154

iShi khoSla

travel

48 culture trip
ka lya n i p r aS h e r

health

54 what Your hands reveal

about Your health

d r t r av i S Sto r k

total number of pages in this issue of

Readers Digest, including covers: 166

diy

58 know Your (essential)

documents
home

62 instant makeover for

Your space

Cover illuStration:
anup ray

g a r i m a g u p ta

oCtober 2016

readers digest

indiap iCture

t e e n a ja i n kau S h a l

vol. 57 no. 10
october 2016
Editor Sanghamitra Chakraborty
Deputy Editor Chitra Subramanyam
Senior Research Editor Mamta Sharma
features Editor Suchismita Ukil
Editorial Coordinator Ruchi Lodha
Art Director Sadhana Moolchandani
Chief Designer Keshav Kapil

IMPACT (ADVERTISING)
Publishing Director Manoj Sharma
Associate Publisher Anil Fernandes
Mumbai: Senior GM (West) Jitendra Lad
Bengaluru: GM Upendra Singh
Chennai: GM Velu Balasubramaniam
Kolkata: Deputy GM (East) Kaushiky Chakraborty

Published in 46 editions and 17 languages,

Readers Digest is the worlds largest-selling
magazine. It is also Indias largest-selling
magazine in English.

Editor-in-Chief Aroon Purie

Chief Executive Officer Ashish Bagga
Group Editorial Director Raj Chengappa

BUSINESS
AGM, Marketing &
Circulation Ajay Mishra
Chief Manager,
Operations G. L. Ravik Kumar
Marketing Manager Kunal Bag
Production Anuj Kumar Jamdegni

NEWSSTAND SAlES
Chief GM D. V. S. Rama Rao
GM, Sales Deepak Bhatt
Deputy GM, Operations Vipin Bagga
The Indian Readers Digest is published by:
Living Media India Limited (Regd. Office:
K9, Connaught Circus, New Delhi) under a licence
granted by the TMB Inc. (formerly RDA Inc.),
proprietor of the Readers Digest trademark.

TRUSTED MEDIA BRANDS, INC. (fORMERly RDA INC.)

President and Chief Executive Officer Bonnie Kintzer
VP, Chief Operating Officer, International Brian Kennedy
Editor-in-Chief, International Magazines Raimo Moysa
founders: DeWitt Wallace, 18891981; Lila Acheson Wallace, 18891984

hOW TO REACh US
MAGAzINE SUBSCRIPTIONS/CUSTOMER CARE: Email subscription.rd@intoday.com
Mail Subscriptions Readers Digest, A-61, Sector-57, Noida, U.P. 201301. Tel: 0120-2469900
Toll-free No 1800 1800 001 (BSNL customers can call toll free on this number)
for bulk subscriptions 0120-4807100, Ext. 4361 For change of address, enclose the addressed
portion of your magazine wrapper.
ADVERTISING ENqUIRIES: Phones Mumbai: 022-66063355 Chennai: 044-28478525 Bengaluru: 08022212448 Delhi: 0120-4807100 Kolkata: 033-22825398 Fax: 022-66063226 Email rd4business@intoday.com
EDITORIAl/lETTERS TO ThE EDITOR: Email editor.india@rd.com Mail Readers Digest, India Today
Group, 3rd Floor, Film City 8, Sector 16A, Noida, UP 201301; Phone: 0120-4807100
We edit and fact-check letters. Please provide your telephone number and postal address in all cases.
facebook: www.facebook.com/ReadersDigest.co.in Instagram: @readersdigestindia
2016 Trusted Media Brands, Inc. (Readers Digest editorial material). 2016 Living Media India Ltd. (Living Media
editorial material). All rights reserved throughout the world. Reproduction in any manner, in whole or part, in English
or other languages, is prohibited. Printed & published by Manoj Sharma on behalf of Living Media India Limited.
Editor: Sanghamitra Chakraborty (responsible for selection of news). Printed at Thomson Press India Limited,
18-35 Milestone, Delhi-Mathura Road, Faridabad 121 007 (Haryana) and at A9, Industrial Complex, Maraimalai Nagar,
District Kancheepuram 603 209 (Tamil Nadu). Published at K9, Connaught Circus, New Delhi 110 001.

10

october 2016

READERS DIGEST

Editors Note

When I go to Work every day, I pass a

lush green riverbed. Around this time every year,
there is a sudden burst of white that fills
the area. Tall blades of feathery grass swaying in the
wind, framed by autumn clouds, bring a wave of joy
and turn an ordinary workday special. Where I come
from, kash phool, the white grass that grows in the
wild, heralds the festive season.
There are vignettes from the days gone by that float
around in my head: the sound of drumbeats, the smell
of new clothes, the ringing laughter of friends, the
festive feasting. And, parents dragging us to see the
Durga puja in their old neighbourhood. I get it now
festivals are so much about revisiting the best days of our lives, arent they?
You may be far away from your roots and the world may be a different
place now, but the joy of the festivals remains. Diwali will still be special with
all the lights, decoration and mithai, just as much as Eid and Christmas.
Your home will look festive, you will visit the people who matter to you and
perhaps be grateful for all the blessings in your life. Of course, you will
experience the joy of giving.
Savour the festive flavour in this issue along with The Power of Giving (p 41),
a warm message that will help us share the little we have with the less fortunate.
Our Art of Living section has excellent advice on healthy feasting (p 46), how to
get the seasons glow (p 64) and a fuss-free home makeover (p 62). Do read our
cover feature 101 Funniest Quotes Ever! (p 66) that will make you laugh out
loud. We could not think of a better way to celebrate the season.
Arun Murthy was a young Digest reader who found inspiration in our
magazine and went on to build a multi-million dollar company in the
Silicon Valley. Read his story on p 104. Who knows, you may find the
entrepreneur in you.
Enjoy the festivals, everyone!
12

OctOber 2016

READERS DIGEST

Send an email to
editor.india@rd.com

PhOtOgraPh by ana nd gOgOi

hai r & m ake-uP by rOlika P rakash

Feeling Festive

Over to You
FeedBaCK on our august issue

HANDY HELP
The cover story How to
Survive Anything was
immensely useful. Keeping
to the Readers Digest
tradition of crisply written
capsules with an easy-toread format, it provided
handy solutions for several
present-day scenarios.
As an emergency medical
responder, I give it two
thumbs up. Keep this issue
in your backpack, for you never
know when you might need it!
SARITA M. WARIYER, Bengaluru

Living at the edge of the Tadoba

Andhari Tiger Reserve, the cover
story hit home in more than one
way. Having encountered snakes,
scorpions and other potentially
dangerous creatures almost
regularly, I can say that there are
no tutorials on how to safely tackle
dangerous situations. The answer
lies in being alert and level-headed.
DOLA CHAKRABARTY, Chandrapur,

Maharashtra

You Are When You Eat was an

informative read and is a wake-up
call to all who lead life on the fast
|

OctOber 2016

the story Face to

Face with Her Husbands
Killer is about the
role of forgiveness in
maintaining positivity,
even in extreme situations.
it is akin to the case of
Mrs gladys stains, who
witnessed the killing of
her husband graham
stains and two minor
sons. the australian
missionary was burnt to death
by a mob in orissa in 1999, yet
Mrs stains chose to forgive
them and continued to do her
work in the same place.
PRAFULL CHANDRA SOCKEY,

B u l d a n a , Ma h a ra s h t ra

Prafull Chandra Sockey gets this months

Best Letter prize of `1,000.EDS

track. Eating irregularly causes

disruption that our biological
clock tries to adjust and withstand
initially, but often gives way to
health problems, which, at times,
are irreparable.
PREETHA RENGASWAMY, Chennai

WAKE-UP CALL

14

TO FORGIVE
IS DIVINE

write
&
win!

readers digest

TYRELESS MIND
Apropos of the Good News
Untyringly Yours I came across a

Stay updated
with the
India Today App
Download NOW!

AVAILABLE ON:

iPhone

NOKIA

ANDROID

Windows Phone

Visit www.indiatoday.in/apps for more information

*Terms & Conditions Apply

ov e r to yo u

similar story in a Marathi daily. For

the past 11 years now, a resident of
Girgaum has been making use of
discarded, worn-out tyres to construct
bunds to help conserve water. The
technique requires layers of tyres to
be placed in trenches and fastened
with nut bolts, and then filled in with
soil and stones. The bunds are quite
sturdy and cost effective.
SHRIDHAR KHER, Mumbai

HAPPY HIGH
Age is no bar for exercise [Running
High], provided we listen to the
warning signals that our body sends
whenever we exceed our physical
limits. Taking a cue from Hippocrates, who said, Walking is mans
best medicine, there is a walkers
club in Hyderabad with about 800
members, where octogenarians like
me are active. Going for a brisk walk
early in the morning, while listening
to birds chirp against the backdrop
of a sunrise is an exhilarating
experience in itself. Doing so not
only keeps one energized but also
increases the production of happy
hormones.
DR C. JANARDHAN SINGH, Hyderabad

Christine Pembertons journey as a

runner made for an interesting read,
especially since I, too, started
running more than eight years ago
(I am 66 now) when I was diagnosed
with prediabetes. Shocked, often
people ask, Running at this age?
16

OctOber 2016

readers digest

While I dont know whether this

line of questioning comes from
genuine concern, I continue to run
daily for about 4045 minutes in the
early morning sun.
A. SATHYAMURTHY, Coimbatore

MONKEY RIGHTS
If the monkey [The Case of the
Monkey Selfie] had taken the
pictures of itself consciously,
knowing that the camera is an
instrument that can capture its
image, then it has the copyright to its
photos. If the monkey had taken the
pictures accidentally, then it has no
right to its so-called selfies, and the
photographer David Slater will hold
the rights to the photographs.
C. V. R. K. PRASAD, Vijayawada, Andhra Pradesh

FAITH RESTORED
We live in a world so cut off from
humanitythe lengths we go to
to avoid our family and ignore our
friends is remarkable. Sparing time
to speak with someone has a price
in todays culture of consumerism.
So imagine my relief to know about
the two buddies [The Big
Friendship]. My heartfelt thanks
to Jason McBride for restoring my
faith in humanity, and prayers for
Derek McCormack for a healthy life.
BHAVANI MOCHERLA, Bengaluru

Write in at editor.india@rd.com. The

best letters discuss RD articles, offer
criticism, share ideas. Do include your
phone number and postal address.

Lifes Like That

I receIved thIs message from a

frazzled neighbour: Please inform
before you spray your backside.
Upon further enquiry, a verbal one
this time, I realized she meant that
residents of the building should let her
know in advance when they sprayed
pesticides in their balcony, which
happens to be at the rear of the house.
[Long, relieved sigh!]
vaIjyantI ghose, G h a z i a b a d

18

october 2016

the best man day in the world

would involve building a bridge and
then blowing up that bridge. Which
is why you cant make a better man
movie than The Bridge on the River
Kwai, unless you make Two Bridges
on the River Kwai.
joel steIn,
from Man Made: A Stupid Quest for Masculinity

the chIhuahua at my vets office

was quiet right up until a huge

readers digest

IllustratIon by Ma ry n adler

Loving the switch to kettle corn!

L i f e s L i k e t h at

Rottweiler came in. Suddenly, the

six-pounder became Cujobarking
and slavering.
Oh, please, said his owner.
The only way you could hurt
that dog would be if you got stuck
in his throat.
lInda martIn
When the door to our front porch

is opened, the doorbell rings and a

motion light comes on. One night, I
was in bed when both occurred. I
shook my husband. The doorbell
rang and the lights on, I said.
What? he said groggily.
The doorbell rang and the
lights on.
Huh?
The doorbell rang and the
lights on! He raised his head up.
Say that again.
Through clenched teeth, I spoke
slowly: Somebody is on the porch!
He said, How do you know?
glorIa KIrKland

texts my father sent that could

also be microfiction:
No parking. Jump in. Theres cops.
n She followed my coffee-splatter
trail.
n Its clean. Dont tell your mom.
n Were fine. Theres ice cream here.
n

meryl cates, on mcsweeneys.net

oh, baby ...

here are five parents who have
just enough time in their busy
baby-rearing schedules to
shoot off a tweet or two.
n four-year-old said he went
potty, and i asked if it was
Number 1 or 2. he said Number
7, and now im terrified to go
into the bathroom.
n i cant find my kids birth
certificate, but i apparently
saved one for every Build-aBear we own in a special file
because im insane.
n this is a funny necklace!
three-year-old with my thong
around her neck.

i try to explain to my kids

during the movie that in reality,
even a cowardly lion would definitely eat a girl and a little dog.

from The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets,

edited by kate hall

for every actIon, there is an

unequal and opposite overreaction.
Newtons law of the internet.
@damIenfahey

What the heart Wants: I like my

men like I like my salads: overdressed

and secretly bad for you.
monIca heIsey, comedian

20

october 2016

readers digest

readers digest will pay for your funny

anecdote or photo in any of our jokes
sections. Post it to the editorial address,
or email: editor.india@rd.com

EVERYDAY
HEROES
Young romanian ionut, Ursu travelled to Nepal
to help earthquake victims.

Volunteering
For Smiles
IonuT, ursu showered for

over an hour in the dorm bathroom

at Bucharest University where he is
a geography student. Shower gel,
razors, deodorant all seemed like
luxuries to the 27-year-old Romanian
after four weeks spent among the
debris of the earthquake that shook
Nepal on 25 April last year. The quake
left 8,500 dead, 20,000 injured and
hundreds of thousands homeless.
Ionut, had left Nepals capital city,
Kathmandu, at five that morning
after donating his tent, shoes and
mountain gear to his hosts, the Cold
Feet Foundation, a Nepalese non22

october 2016

readers digest

profit organization working to help

the earthquake victims. His things
went to a family that had lost its
home. At the airport, he gave away all
his clothing except that on his back.
The night before, he had cried in
his tent to purge himself of all hed
seen: houses reduced to rubble,
broken limbs, children who had
lost parents and parents who had
lost children. For 28 days hed had
no time to be emotional. At night
he went to sleep exhausted after
eating a bowl of rice, in the morning
he would bathe in the river and
start again.

P hoto by alex galm ean u

By AnA- M AriA Cio BAnu

Always ready to
help others, Ionut,
is a volunteer
paramedic in
Bucharest.
readers digest

october 2016

23

VolUNteeriNg For smiles

1,500 euros, and friends and teachers

IonuT, had landed in Kathmandu
also helped with money for supplies
on Wednesday, 6 May with two giant
and airfare. Five days later, he was
backpacksone for his gear and
greeted in Kathmandu by staff of the
another filled with medical supplies.
Cold Feet Foundation.
This was his first time in a foreign
Ionut, and a medical team went to
country, he didnt speak Nepali or
the Dhading District, 64 kilometres to
even any English and had to look up
the west, to an area of eight villages
words on the Google Translate app.
where nearly all 300 houses had
He had come after seeing news
collapsed and 30 people and many
footage of orphaned and homeless
livestock were crushed
Nepalese children,
under the debris. Every
knowing how hard it
morning Cold Feet
had been for him as
As long as I am volunteers climbed a
a child to grow up
mountain path for two
without a mothers love.
healthy, I can
three hours to reach
Abandoned five days
help. I must offer to
the wreckage.
after birth, Ionut, was
kindness.
Ionut, helped carry
one of the 1,00,000 chilmedicine, food and
dren living in Romatarps to set up military
nias orphanages,
tents to shelter more than 500 people
remnants of the communist regime
who slept outside, and rummaged
that enforced anti-abortion laws to
through the debris with bare hands
spike birthrates. His caretakers had
by day. Then, with the team, he went
ways to torture children who wet
door to door to examine patients.
their beds. He will never forget the
He measured blood pressure and
ruler method: A woman would measugar levels, cleaned and bandaged
sure the urine stains in centimetres
and then hit him that many times. To wounds, filled in charts. In spare
moments Ionut, dug holes for the
get away from life in the orphanage,
poles anchoring tents, and hugged
Ionut, took refuge in volunteer work.
children. They smiled at him and
At 16, he took a first-aid course.
one little boy made him promise to
When he moved to Bucharest he
learn English. Its very important,
trained to become a volunteer parahe said, and Ionut, agreed. But at the
medic with the Ambulance Service.
To go to Nepal, Ionut, made a list of same time he felt that hearts speak
to other hearts and as long as one
all the possessions he could sell
knows how to smile, language is not
phone, tablet, washing machine,
that important.
camera and a watch that had been a
As days went by, Ionut, felt he was
special gift. The sale raised nearly
24

october 2016

readers digest

Movie
Reviews

Magazine
Stories

Celebrity
Interviews

Latest
Headlines

Photo
Gallery

Breaking
News

Live TV

Exclusive
Videos

Stay Updated
with India Today App
Download to experience!
SMS ITAPP TO 52424

Available on

Visit www.indiatoday.in/apps for more information

VolUNteeriNg For smiles

distancing himself from his own

suffering, a burden to him since
childhood. Surrounded by pain, so
visible in the men who shaved their
heads when they lost a loved one
and the fields where bodies were
cremated every day, he learnt to
cherish life and take joy in opportunities such as assisting a birth. One
of the nights he lay down exhausted
in his tent, he devised his mission:
As long as I am healthy, I can help.
I must offer kindness.
After 10 days, Ionut, went back to
Kathmandu and volunteered in
hospitals there, ending up at the
Manmohan Memorial Hospital. The
staff took an instant liking to him,
amazed that someone had come all
the way from Romania to do this.
Orthopaedic surgeon Shirish Karki
recalls, This guy was like an angel
to us. We were short of staff because
many were victims of the earthquake. Ionut, lifted patients, cleaned
utensils and did all the other tiny
stuff that matters.
Because Ionut, was so hardworking
and showed much interest in surgery,
Shirish allowed the volunteer to assist
him in the operating theatre. At first
Ionut, only handed instruments, then

he started putting in catheters and

IVs, learnt to hold muscles for stitching. Wounded came in by the dozens
every day and others, maybe hundreds, were outside waiting to be
treated. Surgeries could go on until
nine or 10 at night. In between
Shirish and Ionut, would take snack
breaks and talk about life, using a
phone app to translate.
When Ionut, left Nepal, he was
drained and 10 kilos lighter but he
had found his calling. He promised
himself he would return, convinced
that evil will not triumph if good
people dont ignore the sadness in
the world.
Today, Ionut, volunteers with the
Bucharest Ambulance Service and
continues to study geography at university. He also works as a freelancer,
doing graphics and IT services.
In his spare time he sells photographs from his trip to Nepal, and
looks for new ways to raise money
for medical kits to send to Dhading
and for an electrocardiac machine
for the Romanian hospital where he
was born. Ionut, plans to return to
Nepal to set up a medical office in
a school located in a village high
in the mountains.

MoMEnT oF TruTH
my life is like a song that i know only a few of the lyrics to,
so i sing those parts loudly and mumble the rest.
@CEHuDSPETH

26

october 2016

readers digest

voices

views

The
Prisoner
of Mensa
by ric k r os n e r

Rick RosneR

has the
second-highest
IQ in the
world (192),
according
to the World
Genius
Directory.

28

HistoRy RemembeRs moments of genius. Isaac Newton

saw an apple fall to the ground and formulated his theory of
gravity. Archimedes was taking a bath when he had his eureka
moment: Water displacement can measure the purity of gold.
Who knew? But in contrast, over the past 10,000 years, humans
have experienced about 100 quadrillion run-of-the-mill,
nothing-much-happened moments, which is a lousy ratio of
genius to not-genius moments. The fact is, the world is set up
for non-Einsteins, not geniuses. The words tortured, evil and
eccentric are more frequently associated with genius than
bubbly or well-adjusted.
My mum was aware of this. She freaked out when I taught
myself to read at age three. But while I crushed IQ tests, I was
a playground loner and target of projectiles. A moment of
genius at age six: Here comes a rock, thrown by a bully on the
other side of the chain-link fence. The fence is divided into twoinch squares, and the rock is one and a half inches in diameter.

october 2016

readers digest

I llustratIon by n Ishant choksI ; rosner I llustratI on by Joe M ckend ry

department of Wit

The odds that the rock wont be

as all the other bouncers who didnt
deflected by the fence are negligible
have statistical algorithms.
(25 per cent squared, or one in 16),
When I was writing for the quiz
so I dont have to duck. Then the
show Weakest Link, we had a quota of
rock passed clean through the fence
24 questions a day. This didnt seem
and clonked me on the head.
like enough for someone with my big
Having the worlds second-highest
brain, so I set my own quota of 60 to
IQ, I can tell you genius has its draw100 questions a day. I didnt know
backs. My less bright
that my bosses were
friends put it like this:
evaluating writers based
Theres the right way,
on how many of our
My people skills questions were rejected.
and theres the Rosner
way. The Rosner way
needed work. I Writing three times as
includes trying to get a
many questions as
addressed this everyone else, I made
girl to make out with me
at a junior high baseby becoming a the top of that rejection
ment party by pitifully
list and was fired.
nightclub
asking, How do you
For more than a year,
doorman.
kisssuction or presI trained to get on
sure? Instead of a kiss,
Jeopardy!, studying
for the rest of the year, I
hundreds of books and
got Suction or pressure? yelled at
spending dozens of hours clicking a
me by kids I didnt even know.
handheld counter to make my
As with many brainiacs, my people thumb faster on the buzzer. After
skills needed work. I addressed this
five auditions, I got on the show
problem after college by becoming
and lost (by chickening out on a
a nightclub doorman. At the doors,
Daily Double and then surrendering
I caught thousands of underage
the lead by failing to identify the flag
people using fake IDs. The challenge
of Saudi Arabia). I also lost my extra
of detecting liars within 10 seconds
pair of pants, which were mistakenly
of meeting them fascinated me.
taken by another contestant.
High-IQ people can easily become
I studied for almost as long to get
gripped by obsessions. I became
on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.
obsessed with IDs, spending 10 years For my $16,000 question, Regis
developing a statistical algorithm to
Philbin asked me, What capital city
help me spot fake or borrowed IDs
is located at the highest altitude
with 99 per cent accuracy. But after
above sea level? I answered,
a decade of research, I was still
Kathmandu. Millionaire claimed
getting paid $8 an hour, the same
the correct answer was Quito.
readers digest

october 2016

29

the prisoner of mensa

However, the worlds highest

national capital is generally
considered to be La Paz, Bolivia,
which wasnt included among the
possible answers. I sued the show,
backing up my claim that the
question was flawed with thousands
of hours of research, comparing my
question with more than 1,00,000
other Millionaire questions. I
eventually learnt that judges dont
have much patience for quiz show
lawsuits. I lost in court, appealed
the judgement, and lost again. The
legal proceedings cost me tens
of thousands of dollars, making
me the biggest loser in the history
of Millionaire.
Not everything has backfired
because of my genius. Ive had a
25-year career as a TV comedy writer.
When pumping out thousands of
jokes, it helps to be obsessive and

have a skewed point of view. I have a

lovely wife and daughter who rein in
my most unreasonable schemes.
Having earned 12 years of college
credits in less than a year and
graduating with five majors, Im
always able to help with homework.
Ive even used my research ability to
concoct a mixture of 20 medicines
and supplements that helped our dog
survive for 117.5 dog years.
In 20 years, my mental power
will be commonplace. Thanks to
our increasingly brilliant devices,
well all be potential geniuses with
access to all the information and
wisdom in the world. And just like
me, youll use your vast computational resources to do mostly
dumb stuff.
See you at the 2036 FourDimensional Candy Crush
Championship, everybody!

self-Proclaimed World caPitals

Cow-Chip-throwing
artichoke
Barbed

Capital of the World: Beaver, oklahoma

Capital of the World: Castroville, California

Wire Capital of the World: La Crosse, Kansas

fruitcake
moonshine

Capital of the World: Claxton, georgia

Capital of the World: franklin County, Virginia

horseradish

Capital of the World: Collinsville, illinois

Via Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader

30

october 2016

readers digest

words of lasting interest

the Mahatmas words on oneness and communal

harmony ring true even today

We are the World

BY M. K . g a n d h i

No Religious DivisioNs

If a free India is to live at peace with herself, religious

division must entirely give place to political division based
on considerations other than religious. Even as it is, though
unfortunately religious differences loom large, most parties
contain members drawn from various sects.
No PRivilegeD Class

No privileges should be given to anyone in the new India. It

is the poor and neglected and downtrodden and weak that
should be our special care and attention. A Brahmana
32

OCTOBER 2016

readers digest

indiap iCTuRE

Mohandas
Karamchand
Gandhi (1869
1948) was one of
Indias founding
fathers and the
architect of Indias
non-violent
freedom movement.

I BELIEVE IN absolute oneness of God and, therefore,

also of humanity. What though we have many bodies? We
have but one soul. The rays of the sun are many through
refraction. But they have the same source. I cannot
therefore detach myself from the wickedest soul (nor may
I be denied identity with the most virtuous). Whether,
therefore, I will or not, I must involve in my experiment,
the whole of my kind. Nor can I do without experiment.
Life is but an endless series of experiments. Break through
the crust of limitation and India becomes one family. If all
limitations vanish, the whole world becomes one family,
which it really is. Not to cross these bars is to become
callous to all fine feelings, which make a man.

should not grudge if more money is

spent on the uplift of the Harijans. At
the same time, a Brahmana may not
be done down simply because he is a
Brahmana It is the duty of every
citizen to treat the lowliest on a par
with the others.

REpROduCTiOn Of dandi m aRC h ( Bap uji)

COuRTEsy naTiOn al gallERy Of m OdERn aRT, nEw dElhi

RegaRD foR uNDeRPRivilegeD

What should we do then? If we

would see our dream of Panchayat
Raj, that is true democracy realized,
we would regard the humblest and
lowest Indian as being equally the
ruler of India with the tallest in the
land. This presupposes that all are
pure or will become pure if they are
not. And purity must go hand in
hand with wisdom. No one would
then harbour any distinction
between community and
community, caste and outcaste.
Everybody would regard all as
equal with oneself and hold them
together in the silken net of love.
No one would regard another as
untouchable. We would hold as
equal the toiling labourer and the
rich capitalist. Everybody would
know how to earn an honest living by
the sweat of ones brow and make no
distinction between intellectual and
physical labour. To hasten this
consummation, we would voluntarily
turn ourselves into scavengers. No
one who has wisdom will ever touch
opium, liquor or any intoxicants.
Everybody would observe swadeshi
as the rule of life and regard every

Dandi March (Bapuji) by Nandalal Bose,

linocut on paper, 1930

woman, not being his wife, as his

mother, sister or daughter according
to her age, never lust after her in his
heart. He will be ready to lay down
his life when occasion demands it,
never want to take anothers life.
an excerpt from Gandhi and Communal
Problems, a collection of gandhijis
writings and speeches on communal
harmony. The book was published by
the Centre for study of society and
secularism, mumbai, and edited by
reformist-writer dr asghar ali Engineer.
readers digest

OCTOBER 2016

33

some positive stories that came our way

Good News

The Good Teachers of

Ramanagara
education Every morning

Jayamma, the headmistress of a

government-run school on the
outskirts of Karnatakas Ramanagara
town, walks through the narrow
lanes of the Iruliga tribe settlement
at the foothills of the Ramanagara
hills. She wants to round up students
and take them to school. Nagaraju,
another teacher, climbs over 300
steps of the hill looking for children
and ensuring they attend classes.
The school was set up 16 years ago
as a means of including the children
of the Iruliga tribe into mainstream
education. Earlier, the children
were often seen wandering in
the forest near the rocky hills or
begging outside the Ram temple
atop the hill.
Besides teaching them, they also
ensure that the children are schoolready, complete with a bath and a
haircut when they need one. The

students future is at stake. If we

dont prod them to study, then they
may end up like their parents as
daily-wage workers, Nagaraju told
The Times of India. Its our duty to
guide these children into schools.

Insurance for Less

Than a Rupee

travel Booking train tickets

through IRCTC? You can now opt for

an insurance cover of `10 lakh by
paying a premium of just 92 paise.
This optional scheme is available to
all passengers holding confirmed,
RAC [reservation against
cancellation] or waitlisted tickets,
irrespective of the class of travel. The
scheme started on 31 August and is
offered by IRCTC in partnership with
ICICI Lombard General Insurance,
Royal Sundaram General Insurance
and Shriram General Insurance.
Know more about the scheme
here: http://contents.irctc.co.in/en/
InsuranceTermCondition.pdf

For us, people who have left behind our countries,

our jobs, our educations, our lives, its precious.
eya s ta ha , Ira q i re fu g e e, o n a Fi nni s h s ch e m e t o t e a ch c o d i ng t o a s yl um s e ekers

34

october 2016

readers digest

More Power to Women

courtesy leslie bi nns

gender The recently released

National Crime Records Bureau

data indicated that Uttar Pradesh
was one of the most unsafe states
for womenafter it recorded 35,527
cases of crime against them. To
curb the high incidence of crimes
against women, the UP Police
swung into action.
The department launched the
Power Angels initiative in April this
year, recruiting school and college
girls as special police officers or
SPOs. Aspiring candidates just need
their parents consent and a
nomination from their school or
college. Their job is to assist the
police by keeping an eye out for
criminal activities. Through them,
it will be easier to approach women
in villages to curb unlawful
activities, Navniet Sekera,
inspector general, Women Power
Line, told The Times of India.
These power angels are issued
identity cards and will serve for a
fixed tenure of up to five years. So
far, the UP police has received
around 1,20,000 applications and
83,000 girls have been enrolled as
SPOs. Police records reveal that as
many as 1,172 child marriages have
been stopped by these power
angels. More power to them!
mamta sharma
sources: education: The Times of India 13 august 2016;

heroes
rescue on everest
Just 500 metres from the summit
of everest, British climber Leslie
Binns was only hours away from
scaling the worlds highest peak.
But he turned back to save the
life of a fellow mountaineer.
when the twice-decorated
ex-serviceman (pictured below)
came upon indian climber sunita
hazra, who had run out of oxygen
and was unable to descend on her
own, he decided he had to help.
i told my sherpa we were not
going up and that we would give
sunita my spare oxygen bottle and
take her down, says Binns, 42, who
lost sight in one eye while serving in
afghanistan. after an arduous and

dangerous descent, he managed

to get her back to his camp.
hes the reason why she is still
alive now, said hazras brother,
Kingshuk chatterjee. he is a
very brave man. Binns says
simply, i am immensely proud
that i helped sunita.

tim hulse

travel: Live Mint, 25 august 2016; gender: The Times of

India, 18 august 2016; heroes: BBC News, 2 June 2016

readers digest

october 2016

35

it happenS

Only in India
ramayana draft one

&
Basu
Samitu Epuri
j
a
R

Why were glad emoticons werent invented earlier

it LooKs LiKE Shahjahanpurs
city officials have taken the climate
change threat to heart. They recently
bought a snow removal machine, the
sort usually seen ploughing through
snow-laden roads in the thick of
winter in countries like Canada. This
in a Uttar Pradesh town where
summer temperatures touch over
45C. When the story made it to the
newspapers, an executive engineer
from the civic body was quoted as
36

october 2016

readerS digeSt

saying, We found the machine quite

important for our city and we bought
it. A few days later, officials said
the machine could also be used
to remove garbage. Snow or trash,
Shahjahanpur is ready for anything.
Submitted by: rajEEv KondaPaLLi,
Secunderabad.

Source: timesofindia.com

our obsEssion with anything

Bollywood continues. A Bengalurubased Twitter user recently tweeted a

picture of his engineering exam from

the Air Force Common Admission
Test. Tucked between complicated
questions of physics, chemistry and
history was this multiple-choice
nugget: Deepika Padukone has
received the Filmfare award 2016 for
Best Actress for the movie ... followed
by four options. Now you know what
to tell your mum the next time she
asks you to switch off the television
and study.
Source: indianexpress.com

will get a khadi prison uniform, steel

plate, glass, mug, bedding, soap and
faneverything a self-respecting
prisoner would need, according to the
state prison manual. Meals and tea
are as per the jail menu. Fully paidup prisoners will not have a work
schedule, though they do need to
keep their barracks clean. So far, no
tourist has signed up for the Feel the
Jail experience. Wonder why.
Submitted by: dr narEndra Kumar, New Delhi.
Source: The Times of India

EvEr hEard of people being banned

from a countrys mountains? A couple

from Pune, who are also police
constables, have been banned from
climbing the Himalayas in Nepal for
10 years. They made it to the base
camp of Mount Everest and later
claimed they had summited the peak.
The couple even submitted images as
proof in order to get a climbing certificate from Nepals tourism ministry.
The photographs apparently belonged
to another Indian mountaineer who
had climbed the peak. The duo had
simply super-imposed their faces on
to the images. Their claim unravelled
when other mountaineers pointed out
discrepancies in their story and
pictures.
Source: theguardian.com, telegraph.co.uk
hErEs somEthing for the hidden
jailbird in you. Tourists can now
experience prison life in the 220-yearold District Central Jail of Sangareddy,
Telangana. All they have to do is pay
`500 to be jailed for 24 hours. They

about 1,200 brand new stringed

cots were laid out in a field in

Rudrapur, Uttar Pradesh. They were
supposed to be an important symbol
of Rahul Gandhis khaat sabha, a
campaign covering 233 assembly
constituencies. But it wasnt meant
to be. As soon as the speeches were
done, the audience exited, khaats in
hand, making a quick getaway, some
balancing the cots precariously on
their heads. As one villager said,
What will Congress leaders do with
the cots? Indeed, the trend seems to
be spreading. Villagers from the
Ambedkar Nagar district, the venue
for Gandhis next meeting, made off
with the khaats as well. Efforts to
stop them failed rather miserably.
Source: hindustantimes.com

ComPiLEd bY Chitra subramanYam

readers digest will pay for contributions

to this column. Post your suggestions
with the source to the editorial address,
or email: editor.india@rd.com.
readerS digeSt

october 2016

37

Points to Ponder
i put up a poster in my room
of rio 2016, and made a
drawing of medals and a
podium i would see it
before i slept and the
first thing when i woke
up. girls used to say
i had gone mad.
saKshi MaliK,

wrestler and Olympic medalist

Its so hard to forget pain, but

its even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for
happiness.
chucK PalahniuK,

novelist,

deMocracy deMands that societys wealth, physical and cultural,

be shared with openness, respect
and love. This calls for empathy and
not just tolerance; an embrace, not
putting up with one another.

in his book Diary

t. M. Krishna,

after: Everyones carrying the same

things. ... We both understood that
she was speaking metaphorically
too: Everyones carrying the same
burdens, the same woes one way or
another. We have more in common
than we know.
PeGGy noonan,

columnist,

38

OctOber 2016

in the Wall Street Journal

readers digest

artiste,

speaking at the

Magsaysay award ceremony in Manila

MusIc Is humans most advanced

achievement. Trying to turn lead
into gold is nothing compared to
taking something mechanical like an
instrumenta string and a bowand
using it to evoke a human soul.
christian tetzlaff,

violinist,

in the New Yorker

i llu str ati On by keshav kap il

I learnt froM [waitressing] what

a TSA agent told me many years

I thInk that you can disagree

with people and debate over their
positions with issues without
engaging in the politics of personal
destruction.
hillary clinton,

the first female American presidential nominee

We have survIved a war. There are

still kids who dont know if their
parents are alive, dont have
anything to eat or books to go to
school [sic]. So the fact of becoming
Olympic champion is just huge for
all of us.
Majlinda KelMendi,

athlete,

on winning Kosovos first Olympic gold medal

at its maiden games

Prayer Is not asking. It is a longing

of the soul. It is daily admission of
ones weakness It is better in
prayer to have a heart without words
than words without a heart.

Mother IndIa Is not a slogan. She is

an idea that spreads across the nation
and the world. She represents history
and the future. Geographically she
extends from Kashmir to Kanyakumari and into the diaspora. She
reorganizes this huge diversity, the
promise of justice to the poor, to
the majority and minorities. She
tolerates dissent on all issueseven
the most sacral.
rajeev dhavan,

s enior advo cate, Supreme Court of India ,

in an essay on democracy, in The Wire

When soMeone shoWs you how

little you mean to them and you keep
coming back for more, before you
know it you start to mean less to
yourself. You are not made up of
compartments! You are one whole
person!
lena dunhaM

a c t o r a n d w r i t e r,

in her book Not That Kind of Girl:

A Young Woman Tells You What Shes Learned

MahatMa Gandhi,
in Young India

If you have a crItIque for the

resistance, for our resistance, then
you better have an established
record of critique of our oppression.
If you have no interest, if you have no
interest in equal rights for black
people then do not make suggestions
to those who do. Sit down.

the battle In IndIa is not between

majorities and minorities. It is between forces and institutions in each
community that want to bend the arc
of history away from freedom and
equality in the personal space, and
forces that want to claim those rights.
This is a contest that cuts across
communities with varying degrees of
intensity.

jesse WilliaMs

actor and human rights activist,

in a speech

PrataP Bhanu Mehta

president,

on race at the Bet awards

Centre for Policy research,

in The Indian Express

readers digest

OctOber 2016

39

finish this sentence

One day, I will finally

work up the courage to
... move far, far away
on my own

... speak in public.

be independent.

sanghamitra shah,
Nag pur

venecia sangma,
Tura , Me ghalaya

... stop being

nice all the time.

divya ratan, Varanasi

... go on solo trips

with confidence and a

... admit my mistakes

selfie stick.

and accept my flaws.

vidya mishra,
Vado dara

tanvi nishant gupta,

Kang ra , Himachal Pradesh

... say, i am

extroverted.
rohan malekar,
Mumb ai

busy right now.

Bidisa sarkar, Kolkata

... tell him that ive

had a crush on him

since 2007.

somte ralte, Aizawl

40

october 2016

readers digest

since
2007
i ndi api cture

... start being more

ART of living
Neuroscience says giving can make you healthier
and happier. Heres how to start doing it right now.

The Power of Giving

i ndi api cture

By SARA AD H IKARI

readers digest

october 2016

41

tHe power of giviNg

THE oTHEr day, I was in a

giving quandarya situation many
will relate to.
It was an after-dinner outing with
friends, sitting in a car like many
other groups, in front of a famous
dessert caf in Bengaluru. The norm
is that the waiters come to you, take
your order, you eat your chosen guilty
pleasure in the car, then pay for it and
zoom off.
I was already ill at ease with a running engine and air conditioner, so I
requested my friend to turn them off
and we rolled our windows down. But
halfway through the first few mouthfuls, a lad, who looked about 10 or
12 years old, came to my window
and said: Didi, I am hungry too.
I froze. The mood in the car
changed from convivial to uncomfortable and then confusion to panic.
Should I give him what I was eating?
Buy him another one? Give him
money? Request him to leave? Should
I assuage my conscience and the boys
need of the moment? Or should I
firmly discourage begging and
possibly child trafficking?
This kind of predicament is an
everyday occurrence in India. While
many are inured to it, others want to
address it by giving backand in a
way that will make a difference.
So, how do you go about it?

Donate during an event:

For instance, you can take part in
DaanUtsav, Indias week-long
42

october 2016

readers digest

philanthropy festival that starts on

Gandhi Jayanti, 2 October. An annual
celebration of giving in which 60 lakh
people are expected to participate
this yearfrom all corners of India
and different walks of lifeit is a
perfect starting point.
You can do anythingthere is no
blueprint, just so long as the main
objective is to give for someone elses
benefit. So you could visit an old age
home and give your company to the
elderly, get fellow residents in your
apartment block to pool in and treat
the security staff to a special meal, or
you can donate fruit and boiled eggs
to a local childrens charity. There are
many other ideas on the DaanUtsav
website (joyofgivingweek.org).
What is unique about the festival is
that there is no organization behind
it, it is run by a bunch of dedicated
volunteers who evangelize the idea
and enthuse people to take it up.
Number one enthusiast Aarti
Madhusudan, a DaanUtsav volunteer
since it started in 2009, says: This
festival has made it easier for people
to find opportunities to give and
removed inhibitions about various
types of giving.
For example, one year a man in a
small town near Salem invited the
rickshaw puller who had ferried his
child to school for 10 years, and his
family, for a meal during DaanUtsav.
Then, children in a camp of destitute,
homeless people in Chennai said they
would let their mums sleep in and

relieve them of the daily chore

of queuing for hours for potable
water. DaanUtsav is full of such
touching stories.

in di api cture

Donate to a cause
meaningful to you: This is
how I started after my husband fell
ill with cancer and then succumbed
to it. Every year, for five years, I did a
charity fun run to raise money for
Cancer Research UK.
But when I returned to India in
2012, I found there were so many
organizations doing wonderful
work across other equally urgent
causes that nobody knew about.
Questions like who do you give to
and how? prompted my idea of
smallchange.ngo, a portal that
showcases non-profits to promote
giving in India.
There are many other India-based

fundraising websites too, GiveIndia

(www.giveindia.org) being the one
that started the trend in India way
back in 2000. In fact, online giving is
the easiest and most transparent way
to make a donation as long as you
have identified the cause and the NGO
you would like to give to.
Former CEO of GiveIndia, Dhaval
Udani, who has recently founded
Danamojo, a payment gateway for
NGOs, says: In the last 20 years, more
and more transactions are taking
place online. With Danamojo, we
wanted to enable individual giving,
and make it easy for the younger
generation who are doing everything
online anyway.
So, giving is only a click away.

Volunteer your time or

skills: Giving in kind can be more
satisfying than giving in cash. In fact,
readers digest

october 2016

43

tHe power of giviNg

recent research by Wharton professor

workers. The governments recently
Cassie Mogilner shows that those who launched Atal Pension Yojana for the
volunteer their time feel more timeunorganized sector and Gift A Pension
affluent in the same way as those
are two schemes you can look into.
who donate money feel more wealthy. These will not only help your
And this is applicable across
employee save for a dignified retirevarious kinds of volunteering: Give
ment, but your commitment to their
your skills and you acquire other
well-being is a great incentive for
talents, offer physical labourto
them to remain loyal to you.
clean a beach of litter, for example
and you get fitter, and volunteer your
A large body of research has now
experience and you become richer
established that altruism lies deep in
with new ones.
the primitive human brain and we are
Search online and
hardwired to help one
you will find many
another. It has also been
volunteer-driven
proved beyond doubt
The acT
initiatives. Theres
that giving is good for
of GivinG
Robin Hood Army, in a
our health.
aPPears
number of cities in
In a psychology
To be as
India and now Pakistan
journal, Emma Seppala,
and Bangladesh, which
Pleasurable, science director of
serves surplus food
Stanford University
if noT
from restaurants to the
Centre for Compassion
more so, as
less fortunate in the
and Altruism Research
The acT of
same locality; Lets
and Education, writes:
receivinG.
Feed Bengaluru that
The reason a compasdelivers home-cooked
sionate lifestyle leads to
food to needy children and the elderly greater psychological well-being may
in the city; Bhumi, one of Indias
be explained by the fact that the act of
largest youth volunteer organizations, giving appears to be as pleasurable, if
helps bridge the education gap
not more so, as the act of receiving
between the haves and have-nots.
Giving to others even increases wellOr, you could start an initiative of
being above and beyond what we
your own!
experience when we spend money on
ourselves. Now, armed with the why,
who, how, what and where to give
Giving begins at home:
experience the joy it brings.
Everyone deserves a decent wage, fair
working hours, time off and a pension, the author is the founder trustee of
including those employed as domestic Small change (www.smallchange.ngo).
44

october 2016

readers digest

Food

indulge without tipping the scale this season

Sweet Celebration
By Is hI K h osl a

There is a nip in The air

that signals the onset of the festival

season, synonymous with feasting.
This means many outings, late-night
parties and elaborate family meals,
usually loaded with fats, sugar and
refined carbs. The trick is to make
healthy choices (that are fun) and
control your portion size. Balance is
the key to avoid over-indulgence
yes, even when its raining parties all
around you. The principle of moderation works the best. Also, dont forget to account for the added sugar in
your hot and cold beverages. So, is it
possible to celebrate without adding
extra inches to your waist? Yes, I say.
Here are some suggestions and tips
that combine palate pleasing with
good health.

Be your own food planner

Just like you plan your clothes and
meetings, plan your eating too. If you
know you are dining out at night,
then have a low-calorie lunch. And
eat a light snack (salads, soups,
46

october 2016

readers digest

vegetables, lentils, milk, yogurt

or nuts and seeds) with green tea
before leaving home to prevent
over-indulgence of the first thing
that you are served. Those watching
their weight can maintain a food
diary; it helps you keep a track of
your caloric intake and make
appropriate choices.

Go light
For those trying to lose weight, it
may be a good idea to perform the
balancing act beforehand. Create
achievable weight-loss goals a few
weeks before. To stick to your plan,
know that your healthy weight will
keep you fighting fit.

Snack smart
Opt for roasted/baked, non-fried,
grilled and barbecued foods, and
choose small portions. If at all you
overindulge in snacks, keep dinner
light or skip it altogether. If you are
inviting people home, prepare
savouries and sweets with healthy

ingredients like multigrain

flour, ragi, amaranth, flaxseeds
and nuts (almonds, pine
nuts, peanuts).

Limit alcohol
Avoid more than two medium
drinks of wine or other alcoholic
beverages, but its best to limit
your intake to one. If you have to
go through a long evening over
drinks, dilute them with water or
soda, or sip on water intermittently.
Diabetics should be especially
careful as excessive alcohol
can lead to hypoglycaemiaa
condition in which blood sugar
drops to below normal, leading to
symptoms ranging from dry mouth
and excessive sweating to seizures
and, in extreme cases, even death.

Pick healthy curries

Choose vegetarian or non-vegetarian dishes with little gravy as they
are loaded with extra oil and fats.
Instead, try grilled, stir-fried or
lightly sauted vegetables. Grilled
fish (not fried) and lean cuts of
meat are filling and healthy too.

In dI apI cture

Dont force-feed
Learn to say no politely but firmly.
If youre the host, please dont force
people to go for extra helpings. Look
for alternative ways to say no if
someone loads your plate with more
food than you want. Another
strategy is to let your host/guest/

how to make
healthy choices
n Use half the
quantity of sugar in
the recipe or combine
natural low-calorie
sweeteners to make indian and
Western desserts.
n Fruit pure can be used to
sweeten ice creams and kulfi.
n dry fruits such as dates,
figs, apricots, raisins make for
good munchies.
n squeeze rasagullas.

friends know that you are off sweets

or alcohol.

Go easy on desserts
Skip desserts if possible or
choose light ones instead of
deep-fried ones. And share with
your dining companions.
Ishi Khosla is a clinical nutritionist,
founder of Whole Foods India, founder
president of celiac Society of India and
director of www.theweightmonitor.com.

adapted FrOM prevention india. March 2010 LiViNg Media iNdia LiMited.

readers digest

october 2016

47

travel

When you want to experience indias vibrant heritage, these

places should be among your top choices.

Culture Trip
By Ka lya n i P r ash e r

Santiniketan, West Bengal

A sleepy hamlet in the Birbhum
district of West Bengal, Santiniketan
is known for its association with
Rabindranath Tagore, who first
outlined the vision for the famous
Visva-Bharati University and
established it here. You must visit the
Uttarayan complex, Tagores home,
and Rabindra Bhavana, the museum
that houses original letters and
documents, including a replica of the
great mans Nobel Prize medal.
The cultural fair, Poush Mela, is a
good time to be here if you want to
truly immerse yourself in the local
flavour. With an array of handicrafts
to browse and Baul music to enjoy,
not to mention the perfect weather,
this is absolutely the best time to visit
the culture hub of West Bengal. The
mela is usually held in December-end
(on the seventh day of the month of
Poush, according to the Bengali
calendar) and is spread over three
days. It draws visitors from all over
the world and can get a bit crowded,
so book your stay in advance.
48

OCTOBER 2016

readers digest

Getting there: Santiniketan is just

over 200 km from Kolkata. Its a great
drive most of the way. There are also
several trains between Howrah and
Bolpur, the station for Santiniketan.

Namchi, Sikkim
Now is the perfect time to travel to
one of the most beautiful places you
will ever visit, before it gets too cold
in the higher reaches of the Eastern
Himalayas. Located amid the tall and
impressive mountains is Namchi, a
scenic town that affords 360-degree
views of snow-capped mountains.
This is where the Namchi Mahotsav is
celebrated each year in October.
The town has a 135-foot Guru
Padmasambhava statue, believed to
be the highest one of the saint in the
world. The festival also offers a chance
to buy local art and crafts, and sample
the cuisine of southern Sikkim. The
Namchi Mahotsav is also when you
can join in the festivities and take
part in the local dance and music,
and other cultural activities organized by the tourism department.

Majestic mountains
surround Guru
Padmasambhavas
statue at Namchi.

Getting there: Fly to Bagdogra,

Namchi is a further four hours by car.

alamy

Jaipur, Rajasthan
Billed as the worlds largest literary
eventyoull be forgiven for calling it
a carnivalit puts Jaipur firmly on
the culture map of India. Over 50,000
people attend the Jaipur Literature
Festival every year, from ages five to
95, for the unique opportunity to
hear, meet and interact with their
most beloved writers. If you lean more
towards current affairs and analysis
than literature, this is still a good
place to bea range of hot-button
topics of the world are discussed by
the best minds during the fest.
Usually held at the end of January,
the Jaipur Lit Fest often falls on the
Republic Day weekend, making it a
convenient getaway from Delhi.
This is also the ideal time to be in
Rajasthan, when the afternoon sun is
mild and evenings just a bit nippy.

When not attending lectures and

talks, you can explore the exquisite
heritage of the Pink City, or shop for
the lovely handcrafted silver jewellery
Jaipur is famous for.
Getting there: You can drive down
from Delhi in about five hours, or take
the early morning Shatabdi Express
to be there by 11 a.m.

Valvande, Maharashtra
You may have seen and loved Warli
paintings but few would have heard
of Valvande, the small village in
Maharashtra where the indigenous
Warli tribe create this delicate craft.
About 120 km from Mumbai, this is a
slice of pastoral bliss, a journey back
in time, to explore and discover a way
of life lost and forgotten.
Its the people who make a
culture, and interacting with the
tribal artisans here will be more
memorable than looking at or buying
the beautiful, white and intricate
readers digest

OCTOBER 2016

49

C U lt U r e t r i P

Chennai, Tamil Nadu

Its the unofficial cultural capital of
the country, hence a must on this list.
With its many bookshops, dance and
arts festivals, and a general reading
and music-loving citizenry, the city
is an obvious choice for people with
a love for culture.
The Music Academy holds the
annual Dance Festival in January,
which is a great opportunity to
witness Indian classical dance forms,
such as Bharatanatyam and Odissi,
performed by leading artists. Theres
also the Spirit of Youth Festival in
August every year where you can
savour the latest local talent in music
and dance. You must not return from
the city without visiting Giggles, the
hole-in-the-wall bookshop run by
Nalini Chettur for the past 40 years,
located on the premises of Taj Connemaraa total delight for book-lovers.
Getting there: You can either fly
or take a train to Chennai from any
metro city.
50

OCTOBER 2016

readers digest

Witness Warli artists at work in the

cultural village of Valvande.

Jagdalpur, Chhattisgarh
The capital of Bastar district,
Jagdalpur is the green heart of
Chhattisgarhs tribal belt and also the
centre of arts and crafts in the state.
This is where you can buy bell metal,
wrought iron and other famous
Bastar crafts directly from artisans.
Its also here that you can witness,
and take part in, the unique Bastar
Dussehra that is celebrated over
75 days! The Bastar Dussehra has
nothing to do with Lord Rama or
Ravana. It is, instead, an ode to the
goddess Danteshwari, the revered
deity of the erstwhile royals and
Bastars tribes. Starting in August and
lasting till the end of October, the last
10 days are the most magical with
celebrations reaching a feverish pitch
across the district, and at its height at
the Danteshwari Temple in Jagdalpur.
Started over 600 years ago by the then
royal family, this is a glimpse into the
life of the tribal community.
Getting there: Fly to Raipur and drive
about 285 km to get there.

alamy

Warli paintings. You can dine at a

village home, walk around in the
green and clean hamlet, photograph
the waterfall nearby and take back a
precious piece of art, a slice of Indian
culture, when you return.
Getting there: While you can do this
trip on your own, its perhaps best to
book a tour. The eco-tourism initiative Grassroutes can arrange a trip to
Valvande; contact them through
www.grassroutes.co.in.

Laugh Lines
smart bombs

Somebody
ought to cross
ballpoint
pens with
coat hangers
so that the
pens will
multiply
instead of
disappearing.

Now that robots move

their limbs smoothly
and with grace, I wonder how were supposed to imitate them
on the dance floor.
nEil dEgrassE tyson

anonymous

When you sit

with a nice girl
for two hours,
you think its
only a minute,
but when you
sit on a hot
stove for a minute, you think
its two hours.
Thats relativity.
albErt EinstEin

Scientists tell us
that the fastest
animal on Earth,
with a top speed
of 120 feet per
second, is a cow
that has been
dropped out of
a helicopter.

A computer once
beat me at chess,
but it was no match
for me at kickboxing.
Emo PhiliPs

CHESKY _W/GETTY I MAGES

davE barry

College graduates look awfully

happy for people wholl never
have an entire summer off again.

Have my doubts
about this smart
water, considering
how easily its captured and bottled.
@hmittElmark

@goldEngatEblond

readers digest

oCTobEr 2016

51

news from the

World of Medicine
Does exposure to everyday urban air
contaminants outweigh the health
benefits of regularly walking or cycling
outdoors? According to computer
modelling from Cambridge University
and several other institutions, a city
dweller on average would need to
walk for 16 hours each day or bicycle
for seven in order to inhale enough
pollutants to trump the health boost
provided by regular physical activity.

The Price is Right

Finally, a welcome move to introduce
transparency and accountability in
medical retail. Indias drug pricing
watchdog National Pharmaceutical Pricing Authority
(NPPA) has launched
a mobile app called
Pharma Sahi Daam
that will enable consumers to check drug
prices fixed by the
NPPA. The app is part
of the NPPAs attempt to
ensure a transparent
monitoring system
and make the consumers life easier.
52

october 2016

readers digest

The Pain of Repetition

Performing physical labour (such as
bending and lifting) day in, day out for
years is known to contribute to osteoarthritis, or deterioration of cartilage
that cushions joints. Now, a Swedish
study has revealed a possible link
between these tasks and rheumatoid
arthritis, an autoimmune condition
that inflames the joints. Those at risk
could include workers in the fields of
construction, food-service, agriculture, oil and gas extraction and
eldercare. To help prevent arthritis,
take breaks, use well-designed tools
and employ ergonomic techniques.

Vaccine Brings Hope

With 60 per cent of the global
leprosy patients living in
India, the news of a
first-of-its-kind
leprosy vaccine
comes as a relief for
many. Developed
by Indias National
Institute of Immunology, New Delhi,
and approved by the
Drug Controller
General of India
and US Food and

photogr aph by the voor hes

A Deep Breath for

City Dwellers

Drug Administration, the vaccine will

be launched in five districts of Bihar
and Gujarat. If the results are positive,
the programme will be extended to
other districts with a high incidence
of leprosy. The vaccine, called Mycobacterium indicus pranii (MIP), will
be administered to people living in
close contact with patients. It will also
expedite cure rates if given to people
with skin lesions. Caused by the
Mycobacterium leprae bacteria,
leprosy affects around 1.25 lakh
people every year in India. It is
anticipated that the vaccine will help
drop its incidence by 60 per cent in
three years.

Indian Diet to Reduce

Alzheimers
A study by the Journal of the American
College of Nutrition has found that
high consumption of meat, sweets
and high-fat diary products, which
normally characterizes the Western
diet, significantly increases the risk of
Alzheimers. To determine the dietary
risk factors, researcher William B.
Grant, in addition to reviewing the
journal, conducted an ecological
study using the diseases prevalence
across 10 countries. He found that
the traditional diets of countries such
as India, Japan and Nigeria with very
low meat consumption are associated
with an additional 50 per cent reduction in risk of Alzheimers disease.
Looks like vegetarian Indian food has
finally got its due.

teSt youR medical iQ

the recovery position is the
recommended posture for
a. placing someone who is
unconscious but breathing.
b. healing from surgery.
c. slowing ones heart rate after
exercise.
d. sitting with an injured ankle.
answer: a. in first aid, the recovery position is for people who
are unconscious but breathing
and free from spinal injuries. By
rolling the victim onto their side,
one ensures that saliva or vomit
wont obstruct the airways.

Prevent Your Own Migraine

For 90 days, more than 320 migraine
sufferers kept detailed diaries of their
food, drink, habits and headaches in
a study from the Autonomous University of Barcelona and the Medical
University of Vienna. Using statistical
analysis, researchers pinpointed likely
triggers (such as soft drinks, bright
lights and missed meals) for 87 per
cent of subjects. Few patients were set
off by exactly the same set of factors,
reaffirming that closely looking at
your own triggers is important.
by Samantha Rideout and naoRem anuja

readers digest

october 2016

53

HealtH

doctors Orders

What Your Hands Reveal

About Your Health
by d r t r av i s stor K

Finger length: artHritis risK

Women with ring fingers that are
longer than their index fingers,
typically a male trait, are twice as
likely to have osteoarthritis in the
knees, according to a new University
of Nottingham study of 2,046 case
subjects. Low oestrogen levels may
be a factor. The same feature has
been linked to higher athletic ability
and verbal aggression in both
genders. In men, a significantly
longer ring finger (indicating an in-

54

october 2016

readers digest

utero testosterone surge during the

second trimester) is associated with
having more children and better
relationships with womenbut a
higher risk of prostate cancer.

Shaky hands: parKinsons

disease

Trembling hands could be the result

of something as simple as too much
caffeine or a side effect of
certain medications like
asthma drugs and anti-

depressants. But its a good idea to

see your doctor if the issue recurs.
A tremor in just one hand can be a
first symptom of Parkinsons disease,
or it can indicate essential tremora
disorder that causes uncontrollable
shaking (treatable with therapy or
medication).

Nail colour: Kidney disease

left: getty im ages, right: i N Di aP i ctUre

When Indian researchers studied

100 patients with chronic kidney
disease, they found that 36 per cent
had half-and-half nails (the bottom
of a nail is white and the top is
brown). This nail condition, also
known as Linsays nails, may be
caused by an increased concentration of certain hormones and
chronic anaemia, both traits of
chronic kidney disease. See your
doctor right away if you notice halfand-half nails or a dark, vertical
stripe beneath the nail bedthis can
be hidden melanoma, a skin cancer.

Grip strength: Heart HealtH

A weak grip predicts a higher risk of
heart attack or stroke and lower
chances of survival, according to a
new Lancet study of nearly 1,40,000
adults in 17 countries. Grip strength
was a better predictor of death than
was blood pressure. Researchers say
grip strength is a marker of overall
muscle strength and fitness, and they
recommend whole-body strength
training and aerobic exercise to
reduce heart disease risk.

Sweaty palms:
HyperHidrosis

Overly clammy hands may be

a symptom of menopause or
thyroid conditions, as well as
hyperhidrosis, in which overactive sweat glands cause far
more perspiration than needed.
Most people with the condition
sweat from only one or two parts
of the body, such as the armpits,
palms or feet. A doctor may
prescribe a strong antiperspirant
to reduce sweat production.

Fingerprints: HigH blood

pressure

When British researchers at the

Southampton University studied
139 fingerprints, they
found that people
with a whorl (spiral)
pattern on one or
more fingers were
more likely to have
high blood pressure
wHorl
than people with
arches or loops. The
more fingers with
whorls a participant
had, the higher his
or her blood pressure
arcH
was. Fingertip whorls
are markers of fetal
development problems during certain
stages of pregnancy,
which may affect blood
loop
pressure later in life.
readers digest

october 2016

55

all in

A Days Work

You might be overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub.

medical providers? Deciphering

what was written in patient charts.
n Left nose fracture, but his right
nose is OK.
n An autopsy was refused by the
patient.
n Shes OK; she just went into
heart failure.
n I think he has sleep apathy.
n Patient had a Cadillac arrest.
n This is a 52 YO with type 2 DM who
was dragged in here by his wife.
56

october 2016

readers digest

n No significant issues other than she

is a little on the slightly side.
source: gigglemed.com

the entiRe hosPital was

getting ready for the all-important

MCI (Medical Council of India)

inspection and everything had to

be perfect. So it was decided that
the wards and departments would
be given new signboards.
The next day, we went to the
hospital and discovered, to our

IllustratI on by M Ike baldw In

the toughest part of the job for

horror, signboards that read Mail

Ward and Femail Ward.
DR P. chakRavaRty, S i l c h a r, A s s a m

im emPloyeD at a computer-

security company and have a

colleague whose name is M. Alware.
His email address is malware@
company.com.
source: quora.com
the school authoRities

organized a computer workshop

for the staff. A trainer explained
the concepts and gave us a set of
tasks to complete. While we worked,
she settled down with a novel. All
subsequent queries were answered
in curt monosyllables. She did not
once look up from her book.
Next day the principal asked us,
So how did it go? How was she?
A colleague replied, She was
like a screensaver.
vijai Pant, K a s h i p u r, Ut t a ra k h a n d

my co-woRkeR Candy burst into

the office one morning and declared,

Well, here it isthe 16-year
anniversary of my having married
too young.
lynette combs
one of ouR university professors
indicated that two of his students
had medical reasons for not
completing his class thusly:
Student #1: Contracted mononucleosis. Student #2: Contracted
pregnancy.
bill sPenceR

stoP the PResses!

newspaper corrections prove
everyones human, including editors:
the story said, More
than
30,000 pigs were flo
ating
down the dawson riv
er.
What piggery owner
sid
everingham actually
said
was 30 sows and pig
s,
not 30,000 pigs.
Morning Bulletin (aus
tralia)

rabbi
the group Frightened
ttish
sco
the
should have been
it.
bb
ra
ed
ten
gh
band Fri

The Guardian

the follo
wing corr
ects
errors in
the brok
er
listing: a
berdeen
is in
scotland
, not sau
di
arabia; a
ntwerp is
in
Belgium
, not Barb
ados;
Belfast is
in north
ern
ireland, n
ot nigeri
a;
Cardiff is
in Wales
, not
Vietnam
; Helsink
i is in
Finland,
not Fiji;
Moscow
is in russ
ia,
not Qata
r.
Business

Insuranc
e

source: pasadenastarnews.com

Readers Digest will pay for your funny

anecdote or photo in any of our jokes
sections. Post it to the editorial address,
or email: editor.india@rd.com
readers digest

october 2016

57

DIY

there is more to these than just proofs of identity

Know Your (Essential)

Documents
BY TE E N A JA I N KAU SH Al

Gone are the days when you

needed an identity proof only on a
few occasions. Today, you might be
asked for your PAN when you pay
`50,000 or more in cash for your hotel
bills, expensive watches or air tickets.
In a move to curb black money, the
government has now made it
mandatory to quote your PAN for all
transactions over `2 lakh.
Then there is the Unique
Identification Authority of Indias
(UIDAI) Aadhaar. Despite the
Supreme Courts ruling that Aadhaar
is purely voluntary, the Gujarat
government passed a resolution this
July, making it compulsory for
students appearing for their
secondary and higher secondary
examinations. In Andhra Pradesh,
too, it is a must for road transport
authority transactions such as
vehicle registration certificates,
58

october 2016

readers digest

learners licence, permanent driving

licence and a change of ownership.
Here is the low-down on essential
documents and their uses.

AADHAAR CARD

Issued by: Unique Identification

Authority of India (UIDAI)
Purpose: The main purpose is to

create a unique, universal identity

for Indian citizens that would
negate the need for different
documents to avail of various
services. It is, therefore, a document

that can be used to prove

ones identity and address
anywhere in India.
What is it? It is a random
12-digit number used to
establish your identity on
the basis of demographic
and biometric information.
It is equivalent to the social
security number in the
US. Translated to mean
foundation or support, the
Aadhaar number assigned is
valid for life.
Usages: While Aadhaar ensures that
the direct benefit transfer (DBT)
schemes offered by the government
help those who are eligible to gain
from them, even if you are not a
beneficiary, it is worth getting a
number. You can use it for:
e-KYC: Aadhaar-based e-KYC is a
paperless process that allows you to
fulfil the KYC formalities for online
investment in mutual funds. You
would need your Aadhaar number,
PAN, Aadhaar-registered mobile
number and email ID. Also, SEBI
permits investment of only `50,000
in a financial year per mutual fund
through Aadhaar-based e-KYC, using
a one-time password verification.

raj verm a

Online income tax return (ITR)

submission: E-verify your ITR form

provided your mobile number is

registered in the Aadhaar database.
Passport: Get a fresh passport in
three days by submitting a copy of

your Aadhaar card along with copies

of your voter ID and PAN card.
DigiLocker: This allows a dedicated
10 MB cloud storage space linked to
the Aadhaar number of an individual.
You can store important documents
such as mark sheets and PAN card in
a digital locker (digilocker.gov.in). If
all your information is linked, you can
request government organizations
or other entities registered with
DigiLocker to send you electronic
copies of documents and certificates
(such as driving licence, voter ID or
readers digest

october 2016

59

K n ow Yo u r ( e s s e n t i a l ) d o c u m e n t s

school certificates), directly into your

account. You can even upload
documents and sign them digitally
using the e-sign facility. You also get
secure access to documents issued by
the government through a web portal
and mobile application for residents.

their regional transport offices. For

gearless motorcycles, the minimum
age for getting a licence is 16 years. It
is 18 years for other types of vehicles.
Usage: The insurance company can
reject your claim in case of driving
without a valid licence.

Digital life certificate or Jeevan

Pramaan scheme for pensioners: A

digital certificate eases the verification

process for pensioners. It is generated
through Aadhaar-based biometric
authentication, which gets stored in
the life certificate repository.
Scholarships: A student seeking a
scholarship or fellowship from state
governments or the University
Grants Commission must possess
an Aadhaar number.

DRIVING LICENCE

Issued by: Regional Transport Office

Purpose: It certifies that a person is

qualified to drive a vehicle. It also

serves as identity and address proof.
Driving without a licence is a crime
and you could be penalized for it. It
needs to be renewed periodically.
What is it? A driving licence is
issued by individual states through
60

october 2016

readers digest

PAN CARD

Issued by: Income Tax Department

Purpose: Enables the income tax

department to identify and link all

transactions of the PAN holder with
the department, so as to prevent tax
evasion and widen the tax base.
What is it? Permanent account
number, or PAN, is a 10-digit
alphanumeric number used to track
your financial transactions (income,
investments, borrowing, big spending
and tax payments).
Usage: Transactions where PAN is
required include:
TDS: Banks can deduct tax at a
higher rate of 20 per cent if you do
not provide your PAN. Only 10 per
cent is deducted if the bank has your
PAN details.
Buying property: PAN is mandatory
for buying and selling immovable
property in India. NRIs can also

R E A D E R S D I g E S T. c o . I N

easily buy property or engage in

business in India with the help of
a PAN without filing tax returns.
Mandatory quoting of PAN:

For buying goods or services over

`2 lakh, including gold
n During purchase/sale of immovable
property exceeding `10 lakh
n For mobile wallet transactions of
more than `50,000
n For opening a bank account, except
Jan Dhan account
n For cash payment of hotel/
restaurant bill above `50,000
n For cash deposit in bank exceeding
`50,000 in a single day
n To purchase foreign currency or
make cash payment while travelling
abroad exceeding `50,000
n For investments over `50,000 in
mutual funds/debentures/RBI bonds/
life insurance policy
n To open a demat account
n For businesses or professions
where total sales, turnover or gross
receipts exceed or are likely to
exceed `5 lakh
n For buying or selling motor vehicles
(other than two-wheelers)
n The Pension Fund Regulatory and
Development Authority has started
using PAN apart from Aadhaar for
online registration under the National
Pension System.
n

travel abroad. It also serves as

identity and residence proof. It needs
to be renewed periodically.
What is it? It is a proof of identity,
has your birth date, as well as
residential address. It takes care of
most of your requirements.
Visa-free travel: Many countries allow
visa-on-arrival such as Thailand or
visa-free travel such as Nepal if you
have a valid passport.

VOTING CARD

Issued by: Election Commission

of India
Purpose: It makes you eligible

to vote.
What is it? Apart from allowing you

PASSPORT

Issued by: Ministry of External

Affairs
Purpose: A passport is needed to

to vote, it is also used as identity and

residence proof.
WITH ADDITIoNAl REPoRTINg BY
MAMTA SHARMA

adapted From money today. 2016 liVing media india limited.

readers digest

october 2016

61

Home

this festive season, give a new look to your home with

just a few quick hacks!

Instant Makeover
for Your Space
By G a ri m a G u p ta

A good scrub
The easiest way to make your home
feel fresh and clean is to do a top to
bottom, empty-out-the-cabinets-style
clean up. This is a good time to get rid
of clutter: Youll see the sparkle after
its gone. If you dont have the time,
book a home visit with a cleaning
service. Services like Broomberg
(Delhi/NCR), UrbanClap, Mr. Right
and the app HouseJoy (all across
India) can help you find professionals
at competitive rates. Theres nothing
these guys cant buff up to a shine
kitchens, bathrooms, the interior
and exterior of your home!

A new coat
Dont have time for an inside-out
paint job? Just refresh the exterior
of your house in a new colour scheme.
Your home will get an instant makeover! You can give your rooms a new
62

OCTOBER 2016

readers digest

look with accent walls in vibrant

patterns; or bring a hidden corner to
light with wall stencils or textured
paint. Also, explore the option of fun,
colourful wallpapers for the childrens
space or living room for an instant
faceliftyou can use them on just one
wall in a room too.

Bring in the green

Potted plants and flowers add a layer
of freshness and colour to any room.
Put them on windowsills, on stair
landings or next to doors. Dont have
time for a landscaping job? Raid your
local nursery for already blooming
herbs and flowers, or fully-grown
plants that are already potted and see
your balcony or garden come alive.

Light em up
Consider replacing the fluorescent
lighting in your home to a softer,

A bright wall gives the

room a much-needed
pop of colour.

yellow hue. It brings warmth to a

room and will give your house a more
festive feel. Pedestal or overhead
lamps, and strategically used small
lighting fixturesto bring focus to
your artwork, any dark corners or
stairwellscan completely change
the personality of your space.

INDIAP ICTURE

Fruit of the loom

Replacing the curtains, linen and
rugs in your house is low on effort
but big on impact. Its a chance to
introduce new colours and patterns
into the room. For the festive season,
bring out your silk curtains and cushion covers to give your house a plush
upgrade. A wood polish and change of
furniture upholstery to contemporary

patterns or colours is another quick

way of adding in new design elements.

Art for arts sake

We have a ton of old photos sitting
in our almirahs and many new
ones in our smartphones. Pick out
your favourite moments, frame
them in different styles and hang
them up on your new memory wall.
Whether it be traditional china,
postcards, shot glassesyour
favourite curios deserve to be displayed for the world to see, so bring
them out! Hanging up new art pieces
on the wall, like a big painting or a
traditional weave, is another loweffort way of creating an interesting
visual point in the room.
readers digest

OCTOBER 2016

63

Beauty

Follow these simple beauty rules this festive season

to double your radiance

Bring on the Glow

By Sw eta Pa l

Get the right moisturizer

for the season

Learn how to shampoo

(the right way)

Your skin needs more moisture in

these months as it gets drier, making
your summer face cream inadequate.
Opt for a creamier moisturizer with
humectants like hyaluronic acid
which draw additional moisture into
the skin, advises Delhi-based
skincare expert Dr Varun Katyal.

Dilute a small amount of shampoo in

a mug and work the mixture through
your hair, ensuring the lather touches
your scalp and is rinsed out after
three minutes, suggests Katyal. This
activates the shampoos detergent and
washes off excess oil from your scalp.

Invest in a good
conditioner

Even on autumn days with gentle

sunshine, you are exposed to both
UVA and UVB rays. UVA rays can
penetrate glass windows, therefore
you may be at risk while sitting close
to onewhether in a car, at home or
in the office. In addition, up to 80 per
cent of UV rays can pass through
clouds, so one should wear
sunscreen even on a cloudy day,
says Mumbai-based dermatologist
Dr Rekha Sheth. A broad-spectrum
sunscreen protects you from harmful
UV rays. Apply it 20 minutes before
you step out.

No matter what shampoo you use,

it is the conditioner that gives the
follicles a protective covering and
lends shine and volume to your hair.
Pick one suited for your hair type,
says Katyal. Look for conditioners
with keratin which, according to a
study published in the International
Journal of Cosmetic Science, can
repair bleached hair. Make sure you
apply conditioner every time you
wash your hair. Hard-pressed for
time? Choose a leave-in conditioner.
64

october 2016

readers digest

Never skip sunscreen

Go easy on exfoliation
Excessive exfoliation removes the
protective moisture barrier, which
locks in hydration and keeps out
irritants, making the skin dry and
vulnerable. Steer clear of all walnut
or apricot scrubs as their large grains
may damage your skin, says
Dr Soma Sarkar, dermatologist,
About Face, Mumbai. Choose a mild
scrub instead. Use it once a week
and follow up with a ceramidecontaining moisturizer to help
restore your skins barrier.

Wipe out dark circles

The skin surrounding your eyes is
the thinnest and most delicate, and
its low moisture barrier makes it
even more vulnerable. Choose a
product formulation (cream or gel)
suited to your specific skincare
concern (such as puffiness or dark
circles). And make sure to use a
gentle make-up remover or cleanser
before heading to bedmake no
exceptions to this. As you get older,
try a richer eye formula with shea
butter or beeswax at night.

In dI apI cture

Target beauty blind spots

Chalky elbows, cracked heels,
discoloured fingernails and neverscrubbed backthese are just some
of the body parts we forget about.
Devote one day of the week for blind
spots TLCscrub and moisturize
your elbow, book a salon
appointment for a manicure and

pedicure, and get a back brush to

scrub those unreachable zones.

Avoid dry shaves

It can irritate your skin; youre also
scraping off natural oils. Moisturizing
before shaving can guard against
nicks and cuts. You can use
lukewarm water, coconut oil or a
shaving gel or foam.

Step away from the

air conditioner
Spending time in an air-conditioned
room can make your skin dry and
stretchy. So use a body oil before or
right after you step out of the bath.
Avoid using perfumed oils as they
dry the skin further.

adapted FrOM prevention india. january 2015 LiVing Media india LiMited.

readers digest

october 2016

65

cover story

Readers Digest
coMPLeTe GUiDe To

witticisms

Quips

reTorTs
Rejoinders
pithy Replies
f o r

e v e r y

o c c a s i o n

illustratiOns by jOhn cuneO

66

OctOber 2016

readers digest

Part I:

Laughs from Gaffes

Bypass the remark youd always regret in favour of the
version youll shamelessly repeat.
Instead of sayIng thIs

It is better to live one day as a lion

than 100 years as a sheep.
donald trump ( r e t w e e t i n g a B e n i t o

Mu s s o l i n i q u o t e )

Instead of sayIng thIs

Its really hard to maintain a

one-on-one relationship if the
other person is not going to allow
me to be with other people.
axl rose, m u s i c i a n w i t h G u n s N R o s e s

say thIs: the lion shall lie down

with the calf, but the calf wont get

much sleep.
woody allen

say thIs: Bigamy is

having one husband too many.

Monogamy is the same.

Instead of sayIng thIs

Politics is everywhere, in your

shirts, in your pants, you are
carrying it everywhere.

anonymous

Instead of sayIng thIs

I thought Europe was a country.

rahul gandhI, p olitician

KellIe pIcKler, c o u n t r y m u s i c s i n g e r

say thIs: What difference does

it make to the dead, the orphans
and the homeless, whether the
mad destruction is wrought under
the name of totalitarianism or in
the holy name of liberty or
democracy?
mahatma gandhI

say thIs: If our Founding

Fathers wanted us to care about
the rest of the world, they wouldnt
have declared their independence
from it. stephen colbert, talk show host

Instead of sayIng thIs

I wont go into a big spiel about

reincarnation, but the first time
I was in the Gucci store in Chicago
was the closest Ive ever felt
to home.
Kanye west, rap artist
say thIs: I dont believe in
reincarnation, and I didnt believe
in it when I was a hamster.
shane rIchIe, B r i t i s h a c t o r
readers digest

OctOber 2016

67

g u i d e to t h e b e st q u ot e s fo r e v e ry o cc as i o n

Part II:

Fight Ire with Fire

Fend off a cruel or foolish declaration with a zinger
that will knock their socks off.

hen Mick Jagger insisted that

his wrinkles were actually
laugh lines, jazz singer George Melly
replied, Surely nothing could be

that funny.

sports columnist recalled the

story of a flight attendant who
asked Muhammad Ali to fasten his
seat belt. Ali replied, Superman
dont need no seat belt. The flight
attendants retort: Superman

hah Rukh Khan was being interviewed at the start of Kaun

Banega Crorepati 3, when a reporter
asked him (perhaps for the nth
time): We heard you are getting paid
quite a lot for KBC-3 but you have
been tight-lipped about it. Could you
let us know how much they are paying you? Pat came the reply, If you

ask that question again maam, I

will have to ask you your age.

dont need no airplane either.

movement is causing my plane

to be stuck during taxi ... I hope
you get severe gastroenteritis.
Enjoy that movement.

hen a fan asked Wolfgang

Amadeus Mozart for tips on
writing symphonies, the composer
is said to have suggested, Begin with
some simple lieder and work your
way up to a symphony. But Herr
Mozart, replied the fan, you were
writing symphonies when you were
eight. Yes, said Mozart. But I

never asked anybody.

68

OctOber 2016

readers digest

shah ruKh Khan illustrati On: anup ray

omedian and actor Vir Das

echoed every Indians sentiments
when he tweeted: Dear VIP whose

r e a d e r s d I g e s t. c o . I n

n the 1960s, Joe Pyne, one of

the original shock jocks, apparently
began an interview with Frank
Zappa by saying, So I guess your
long hair makes you a woman.
Zappa responded, So I guess your

wooden leg makes you a table.

atharine Hepburn so hated filming a movie with John Barrymore,

she declared, Mr Barrymore, I am
never going to act with you again.
Barrymore replied, My dear, you

still havent.

irector/writer Kevin Smith

told Tim Burton that Burtons
Planet of the Apes reminded him of
a comic book hed written. Burton
responded, Everyone knows I never
read comics. Smith shot back,

that explains Batman.

n acquaintance walked past

Algonquin Round Table member
Marc Connelly and ran a hand over
Connellys bald pate. That feels
just as smooth and as nice as my
wifes behind, he said. Connelly,
running his own hand over his
head, remarked, So it does!

ollowing an argument, an
angry Lady Astor told Winston
Churchill, Winston, if you were
my husband, Id put poison in your
coffee. Churchill snapped, If you

were my wife, Id drink it.

come true.

one in front has suddenly gone

blind and the other one has very
kindly offered to push him.

eonard Nimoy was asked by a

woman, Are you aware that
you [as Spock] are the source of
erotic dream material for ladies
around the world? Nimoys
reply: May all your dreams

eeing a male dog sniffing a

female dog, the young daughter of
Laurence Olivier asked Nol Coward
what they were doing. Coward: the

readers digest

OctOber 2016

69

g u i d e to t h e b e st q u ot e s fo r e v e ry o cc as i o n

Part III:

Timed Lines
The right line at the right time is a thing of beauty.
Memorize these tried-and-true replies for any situation.

t a family dinner, your Luddite

uncle Ralph is at it again about
how science is bunk:

I have noticed that even

people who claim everything is
predetermined and that we can
do nothing to change it look
before they cross the road.
stephen hawKIng, p hy s i c i s t

the only people who still

call hurricanes acts of God are
the people who write insurance
forms.
neIl degrasse tyson, a s t r o p hy s i c i s t

By all means lets be openminded, but not so open-minded

that our brains drop out.
rIchard dawKIns, s c i e n t i s t

He was so narrow-minded,
he could see through a
keyhole with both eyes.
molly IvIns, a u t h o r

Ive come to learn that the best

time to debate family members
is when they have food in
their mouths.
Kenneth cole, f a s h i o n d e s i g n e r

70

OctOber 2016

readers digest

friend is considering getting

married, and you have certain
insights about the institution
youd like to communicate:

they say marriages are made

in Heaven. But so is thunder and
lightning.
clInt eastwood, a c t o r

r e a d e r s d I g e s t. c o . I n

My advice to you is get married:

If you find a good wife youll be
happy; if not, youll become a
philosopher.
socrates
Before you marry a person,
you should first make them use
a computer with slow internet
service to see who they really are.
At t r i b u t e d t o wIll ferrell

Let nobody fool you, most

couples are conjoined on earth.
the mismatches, now they are a
different story. they are made in
heaven.
KIran nagarKar, a u t h o r
Instead of getting married again,
Im going to find a woman I dont
like and just give her a house.
rod stewart, r o c k s t a r

Since the futures so iffy, Ill turn

my attention to the past.
manIl surI, a u t h o r

I was going to sue for defamation of character, but then I

realized I have no character.
charles barKley, T V b a s k e t b a l l a n a l y s t

I wasnt sure I would ever be

able to deal with the world. It
seemed too big and demanding
and there was no fixed syllabus.
Jerry pInto, a u t h o r

co-worker asks your opinion

of an insufferable boss. Youre
happy to unload:

He is not only dull himself, he is

the cause of dullness in others.
samuel Johnson, 1 8 t h - c e n t u r y a u t h o r

omeone is pressuring you to do

better. Time to lower the bar:

all the things I like to do are

either immoral, illegal or
fattening.alexander woollcott, a c t o r
I know a man who gave up
smoking, drinking, sex and rich
food. He was healthy right up to
the day he killed himself.
Johnny carson

I am still on my zigzag way,

pursuing the diagonal between
reason and heart.
rusKIn bond, a u t h o r

He can compress the most

words into the smallest idea of
any man I know. abraham lIncoln
She never lets ideas interrupt the
easy flow of her conversation.
Jean webster, a u t h o r

He is a self-made man and

worships his creator.
henry clapp, n e w s p a p e r e d i t o r

People who think they know

everything are a great annoyance
to those of us who do.
Isaac asImov, s c i e n c e f i c t i o n w r i t e r
readers digest

OctOber 2016

71

g u i d e to t h e b e st q u ot e s fo r e v e ry o cc as i o n

Part IV:

Stand and Deliver

When a one-liner isnt enough, assemble
bons mots and mix.

bird poops on your friends

brand-new Dolce & Gabbana
pumps. She doesnt believe you
when you say Thats good luck in
China, so she takes a seat on the
kerb and sobs. You want to buck
her up, but the China bit was your
best gambit. Try this:
Dont we both know that life is filled
with disappointment? I once had

a rose named after me and I was

very flattered. But I was not
pleased to read the description in
the catalogue: no good in a bed,
but fine up against a wall.1 Heck, if
life was fair, Elvis would be alive
and all the impersonators would
be dead,2 so sometimes you just
have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.3 After all, you
already know theres no half singing in the shower; youre either
a rock star or an opera diva.4 But
if you still want to mope, go ahead.

I personally think we developed

language because of our deep
inner need to complain.5 Then
again, theres always plan B: Swallow
a toad in the morning and you
will encounter nothing more disgusting the rest of the day.6
72

OctOber 2016

readers digest

Or even better, plan C: Live every

week like its Shark Week!7

1) eleanor roosevelt; 2) Johnny carson;

3) mIndy KalIng, a c t r e s s ; 4) Josh groban,
s i n g e r ; 5) Jane wagner, w r i t e r ; 6) nIcolas
chamfort, 1 8 t h - c e n t u r y Fr e n c h a u t h o r ;
7) tIna fey, h u m o r i s t

r e a d e r s d I g e s t. c o . I n

friend bemoans the men in her

life. Of course, you have advice:

Why does a woman work 10

years to change a man, then
complain hes not the man she
married?1 Women cannot complain about men until they start
getting better taste in them.2 For
instance, men who have a pierced
ear are better prepared for
marriagetheyve experienced
pain and bought jewellery.3 And
youll know its love when youre
not too embarrassed to give him
your rEaL Starbucks order.4
On the other hand, if you text I
love you and he writes back an
emojino matter what that emoji
is, they dont love you back.5 Hey,
love is tough. Personally, over the
years Ive found that the perfect

lover turns into pizza at 4 a.m.6

1) barbra streIsand; 2) bIll maher, t a l k
s h o w h o s t ; 3) rIta rudner, c o m e d i a n ;
4) whItney cummIngs, comedian ; 5) chelsea
perettI, actress ; 6) charles pIerce, writer

our mother is a year older today

and none the happier about it.

Yeah, Mum, this is big, but you know,

the secret is to live honestly, eat

slowly and lie about your age.1
Dont listen to those who say you
know youre getting old when you
get that one candle on the cake.
Its like, See if you can blow this
out.2 Granted, age is a high price
to pay for maturity,3 but how old

would you be if you didnt know

how old you are?4 the way I see
it, you should live every day like
its your birthday.5 You just have to
have the right attitude. I will never
be an old man. to me, old age is
always 15 years older than I am.6
1) lucIlle ball; 2) Jerry seInfeld;
3) tom stoppard, p l a y w r i g h t ; 4) satchel
paIge, b a s e b a l l p l a y e r ; 5) parIs hIlton,
s o c i a l i t e ; 6) francIs bacon, a r t i s t

friend suggests you put down the

Oreos and eat a salad. You say:

Low-carb diets work not

because they are healthier, but
because without carbs I simply
lose the will to eat.1 Honestly, the
only time to eat diet food is while
youre waiting for the steak to
cook.2 Besides, a healthy lifestyle
is too time-consuming. Natural
beauty takes at least two hours
in front of the mirror.3 And its just
a temporary solution. Make-up can
only make you look pretty on
the outside, but it doesnt help if
youre ugly on the inside. Unless
you eat the make-up.4 Do I really
want to put myself through all that it
takes to be beautiful? The workouts
the treatments In a thousand

years, archaeologists will dig up

tanning beds and think we fried
people as punishment.5

1) anna KendrIcK, a c t r e s s ; 2) JulIa chIld;

3) pamela anderson, a c t r e s s ;
4) At t r i b u t e d t o audrey hepburn;
5) olIvIa wIlde, a c t r e s s

readers digest

OctOber 2016

73

g u i d e to t h e b e st q u ot e s fo r e v e ry o cc as i o n

Part V:

Point/Counterpoint
How to win the argument, switch sides, then win again.
dogs vs. cats
poInt: a dog teaches a boy

men vs. women

poInt: Ive been married to

counterpoInt: Cats are

counterpoInt: the trouble

fidelity, perseverance and to turn

around three times before lying
down.
robert benchley, h u m o r i s t
smarter than dogs. You cant get
eight cats to pull a sledge
through snow. Jeff valdez, p r o d u c e r

wIne vs. beer

poInt: Wine; a constant proof

that God loves us, and loves to

see us happy.
benJamIn franKlIn
counterpoInt: Why beer is

better than wine: human feet are

conspicuously absent from beer
making.
steve mIrsKy, a u t h o r

optImIsts vs. pessImIsts

poInt: an optimist is some-

one who falls off the Empire

State Building, and after 50
floors says, So far so good!
anonymous

counterpoInt: the nice part

about being a pessimist is that
you are constantly being either
proven right or pleasantly
george wIll, c o l u m n i s t
surprised.
74

OctOber 2016

readers digest

one Marxist and one Fascist,

and neither one would take
the garbage out. lee grant, a c t r e s s

with some women is that they

get all excited about nothing,
and then they marry him. cher

r e a d e r s d I g e s t. c o . I n

fIctIon vs. non-fIctIon

poInt: the difference between

fiction and reality? Fiction has to

make sense.
tom clancy, a u t h o r
counterpoInt: Be careful

mumbaI vs. delhI

poInt: all they know

is that
youre trying to get to the city of
gold, and thats enough. Come
on board, they say. Well adjust.
suKetu mehta, a u t h o r

about reading health books.

You may die of a misprint.
marK twaIn

democrats vs. republIcans

poInt: the Democrats are the

party that says government

will make you smarter, taller,
richer and remove crabgrass
on your lawn. p. J. orourKe, w r i t e r

counterpoInt: the republi-

cans are the party that says government doesnt work, and then
they get elected and prove it.

counterpoInt: I asked my soul:

What is Delhi? She replied: the
world is the body and Delhi its
life.
mIrza ghalIb, p o e t
artIst vs. crItIc
poInt: He suffers from delusions

of adequacy.

walter Kerr, c r i t i c

counterpoInt: Critics are

like eunuchs in a harem; they
know how its done, theyve seen
it done every day, but theyre
unable to do it themselves.

p. J. orourKe, s t i l l a w r i t e r

brendan behan, Ir i s h a u t h o r

7 Things a Great Line Is Good For

advocating you know
theres a problem when
you realize that out of
the three rs, only one
begins with an R.
dennIs mIller, c o m e d i a n

chiding to lose
one parent may be
regarded as a mis
fortune; to lose both
looks like carelessness.
oscar wIlde

critiquing he has van

goghs ear for music.
bIlly wIlder, d i r e c t o r

both praising and insulting she loves na

ture in spite of what it
did to her. bette mIdler
waxing philosophical
start every day with a
smile and get over it.
Attr ibute d to w. c. fIelds

creating hope can

you imagine a world
without men? no
crime and lots of
happy fat women.
nIcole hollander,

cartoonist

piety Want to know

what god thinks of
money? Look at the
people he gave it to.
dorothy parKer, w r i t e r

readers digest

OctOber 2016

75

g u i d e to t h e b e st q u ot e s fo r e v e ry o cc as i o n

Part VI:

Desi Gags
Who said Indians dont have a sense of humour?
Just beIng funny

there is light at the end of the

tunnel for India, but its that of an
oncoming train which will run
them over.
navJot sIngh sIdhu,
former cricketer & politician

God save us from people

who mean well.
vIKram seth, a u t h o r

Unless were the ones who are

wrong no people whose word
for yesterday is the same as
their word for tomorrow can be
said to have a firm grip on the
time.
salman rushdIe, author
the socIal chatter

I like the fact that Gandhi

preached non-violence with a
danda in his hand. @Kalyanrath,
(bIswa Kalyan rath), comedian

Facebook has become like that

wedding function at which you
cant drink because all the
family elders are there.
@moJoroJo (rohan JoshI), comedian

What do you mean pffffffffffttttttttttttttttt!!!!!! is not an

appropriate conversational
76

OctOber 2016

readers digest

response to your educated

point of view?
@thevIrdas (vIr das), comedian

Shaadi kar lo, sab thik ho

jayegaIndian mom to Greece
[when the Greek economy
failed].
@revIewero
Fifty Shades of Grey is romantic
only because the guy is a
billionaire. If he was from Delhi, it
would be a Crime Patrol episode.
@Iamhorcrux

the unIntentIonal humorIst

I work so much. If I dont get all

the comforts, I will turn mad.
lalu prasad yadav, politician

People call us an elephant ...

We are not an elephant we are a
beehive ... Its funny but think
about it. Which is more powerful?
an elephant or a beehive?
rahul gandhI, politician

the English language has caused

a great loss to the country. We are
losing our language, our culture
as there are hardly any people
who speak Sanskrit now.
raJnath sIngh, politician

Shocking Notes
animal magnetism
Bella Mia, a Maltese
terrier, enjoys the
finer things in life,
including filet
mignon and her
own boudoir with a
double bed. Which
is why her owner, a
New York-based
accountant, is leaving
more than $1 million in her
will to Bella. She wants to ensure
that shes taken care of in the way
that shes used to.
source: Daily Mail
Police charged a Pennsylvania

man with trespassing and public

drunkenness after he was caught
drinking beer surrounded by his
neighbours pigs. The man had a
ready explanation for the officers:
I just like pigs. Oh, and the beer
he was drinking? Hamms.
IllustratI on by nI ck dauph In

source: associated Press

one Morning, an Alabama woman

let her bloodhound Ludivine out for

a quick pee. Ninety minutes later,
Ludivine was wearing a ribbon after
coming in seventh place in a local
half marathon. She might have done
better except that she stopped to
smell a dead rabbit and occasionally
detoured into streams and

backyards, said other

runners. I cant
believe she ran the
whole marathon,
Ludivines owner told
Runners World.
Shes actually really
lazy.
source: metro.co.uk
oVer 100 years

ago, Vedprasad
Pandey, of Chattisgarhs Bhadesar
village, kept a few pythons as pets.
They found their home in the hollow
of an old peepul tree near his house.
His grandson Mahatmaram is now
carrying the legacy forward. The
60-year-old has added to the
collection and lives with over
100 pythons. He believes they are
lucky and radiate positive energy.
source: catchnews.com

Made for that special bovine in

your life, Farmers Cologne is

beautiful for a man or woman, and
also pleasing for cows, says creator
Lisa Broder. One whiff of this allnatural cologne crafted from essential
oils and Bessiell give milk till the
well, you-know-who comes home.
A two-ounce bottle costs $115.
source: Bangor Daily News

inPuts froM MaMta sharMa

*Us$1 was `67.2 at the time of going to press.

readers digest

october 2016

77

78

october 2016

readers digest

Davids
Gift
Her husband left her something that is now
fragrant with his love
By AlexAnd riA BA rto n- d S o uzA

I ndIap Icture

it wAS yet another morning in

July last year. Or was it August? Im

not quite sure. Everything seemed
a blur. Id just returned home after
dropping my 12-year-old daughter
off to school. I sat on the couch in
our little balconyon the left side, as
alwaysmy arm stretched across the
back. It was a habit I had cultivated
over the years. But this time there was
no shoulder to drape my arm around.
That space to my right was empty.
It was hard to sit there for more than
a moment. And I couldnt get myself
to enter our unusually silent house. So
I did the things I did most mornings. I
walked aimlessly through the garden,
breaking off a dry leaf, kicking a stone
out of the way. I stopped to listen to
birdsong: Was that an undiscovered
bird or was it just a squirrel? These

little things once brought joy to my

heart, but not any longer. For months
I was numb to my surroundings.
Weary, I trudged back inside.
Close to the stairs, tucked away in
a far corner, I noticed something: a
small clump of bushes with broad,
dark green leaves, just inches off the
ground. I had seen them before but
did not pay much attention. Nothing
else but weeds. Any other time and
I would have pulled them out, but
something held me back.
Later that day, I pointed out the
bushes to the gardener. He looked at
them, touched the leaves and then,
with surprise in his voice, exclaimed:
These are lime bushes! Breaking off a
leaf and crushing it between his fingers,
he held it out for me. He was rightthe
sour, tangy smell was unmistakable!
readers digest

october 2016

79

d av i d s g i f t

I was confused. That tiny patch

near the stairs was where I had a
small kitchen garden. I didnt
remember sowing any lime seeds.
How did they get here?
And then it all came back in a flash.

80

october 2016

readers digest

Often I would find

him, his head bowed
in silent meditation, in
the chapel attached to
our local church.
meetings held. It seemed like any other
workday. Life went on. The two-week
break between the chemotherapy
cycles was when David went back to
the things he loved doing most. He
travelled to his office sites outside
Mumbai, met his co-workers and
spent hours with family and friends.
Whenever he couldnt be reached on
the phone, I would find him, his head
bowed in silent meditation, in the
chapel attached to our local church.
Through all this, we searched for an
answer to the question: Whats going
to halt this disease?

IndIap Icture

i t wAS i n MArc h 201 4 that

David, my husband of 17 years, was
diagnosed with a very rare kind of
cancer. The prognosis was grim
from the very start. Doctors didnt
give him much hope. Its palliative,
the oncologist told him as they
discussed the line of treatment. Tall,
well built and handsome, David was
full of life, and just a few months
away from turning 50. He took this
news on his chin, reeling from the
blow, but back on his feet almost
immediately. Disbelief, sadness and
pain were overshadowed by a fierce
determination even he couldnt
understand. Im going to fight this,
he told me once the truth sunk in.
And what a fight it was.
Chemotherapy was well tolerated
with almost no side effects. Painful,
perhaps, were the 72 hours hooked up
to IV lines for the chemo drugs to be
administered. For a man who couldnt
sit still for a moment, there couldnt
be a worse punishment.
But nothing could keep David
down. He carried his work with him
to the hospital room. In a few hours,
the place was transformed into a
small officeorders were finalized,
instructions given over the phone,

r e A d e r S d i g e S t. c o . i n

there were optionS for natural

therapies. Some were discussed,

others dismissed. One that he did try
was to have large amounts of lime.
We got lemons from as far as Kerala,
some larger than a tennis ball. Slivers
of lime were cut and added to water.
It was squeezed on to salads. David
would usually be found sitting outside
in his favourite place on the couch in
the evening, a glass of lime and soda
cradled in his hand, ice clinking, just
like old times. And before a meal, his
eyes crinkling because of the sourness,
he downed a lime shot, like one does
of tequila. I must have juiced dozens
of limes through the day, sometimes
until my forearm hurt. But nothing
worked. We lost David early last July.
Holding that crushed leaf in my
palm, I remembered the day in May
when I tipped over the dregs of the
juice into the garden. Who would have
ever thought that four of the tiny pips
would sprout into bushes months after
David left us? I knew at once that these
were My David Trees. His last gift.
Small and unremarkable among
the more exotic plants that surround
them, these shrubs are special to me.
Each time I see them I feel connected

with the man who lived life king-size.

Who bravely said, I have no regrets,
when a doctor told him he had but
months to live. Who had a smile, a
word of hope and a warm hug for
another cancer patient. Later, I told
our young daughter that her father was
determined to live and smiled through
his pain. It was for her that he wanted
to live, more than anyone else. His will
power was so strong that I couldnt
help but put my own fears aside,
as I joined his battle. I learnt from
watching him every day what it means
to fight the good fight. And how in the
end, he accepted gracefully, without a
murmur, the cards dealt to him.
Knowing whAt thoSe plants

meant to me, our gardener potted and

placed them in the same corner where
they were found. A year later they
have grown much taller, with little
branches growing out. Once the
monsoon arrived, I had the gardener
transplant the bushes into the loose
earth. It is my hope that they will grow
big and strong, unfettered by the
confines of a pot, their branches
spreading outward to embrace the
world. Just the way David did.

heAlthy choiceS
do people who run know that were not food anymore?
@iAMenidcoleS lA w

readers digest

october 2016

81

Laughter
the best medicine

Make it look like an accident.

86

october 2016

readers digest

How Do you tell if a cowboy

driving his pickup truck is married?

Theres tobacco juice on both side
mirrors.
From A Prairie Home Companion
wHAt IF tHe PeRSon who named
walkie-talkies named everything?
n Forks would be stabby-grabbies.
n Wigs would be hairy-wearies.
n Socks would be feetie-heaties.
n Defibrillators would be
hearty-starties.
From reddit.com

IllustratIon by Ken KrIm steIn

In June, the United Kingdom voted

to split from the European Union.
Brexitas in British exitis the
catchy nickname for the break-up.
Here are the handles for other countries should they make a move, be
they in Europe or not:
n Czechout
n Outdia
n AufWiederSpain n Dubaibye
n Boltswana
n Afghaniscram
n Fleeji
n Farewales
From humorlabs.com
n Scootland

tHAnk you, fantasy football draft,

for letting me know that even in my

fantasies, I am bad at sports.
JImmy FAllon

I Dont know, guyS. The whole

play dead when a bear attacks

thing sounds suspiciously like

something the bears would come
up with ...
@JoRDAn_StRAtton
Readers Digest will pay for your funny
anecdote or photo in any of our jokes
sections. Post it to the editorial address,
or email: editor.india@rd.com

JokeS FRom tHe CIA, tHe IRS, AnD otHeRS you neveR
knew HAD A SenSe oF HumouR
the CIA
the spy agencys
first tweet, in June
2014, was: We can
neither confirm nor
deny that this is our
first tweet.
For its anniversary
in 2015: in our second
year we are going
to
#
#twitterversary.
source: the cia

environmentalists
how do electric-car
owners drive? One
hand on the wheel, the
other patting themselves on the back.
source: environmental
defense Fund

the IRS
i am proud to be
paying taxes in the
United states. the

only thing is, i could

be just as proud for
half the money.
ARtHuR goDFRey,

entertainer
source: internal revenue service

vegetarians
Q: how many vegetarians does it take to
screw in a lightbulb?
a: i dont know, but
where do you get your
protein? source: vegetus.org
the marines
the marine general
went to the doctor
for his annual physical.
among the questions
his doctor asked was
When was the last
time you made love?
Oh, mused the
general, 1945.
that long ago?
asked the doctor.

its not so bad, said

the general, pointing
to his watch. its only
21:13. source: leatherneck.com
economists
an acceptable level
of unemployment
means that the
economist to whom it
is acceptable still has
a job. source: econosseur.com
Psychiatrists
two psychotherapists
pass each other in
the hallway. the first
smiles and says to
the second, hello!
the second smiles
back and walks on.
When he is comfortably out of earshot,
he mumbles, hmm,
i wonder what that
was all about?

readers digest

source: Psychology Today

october 2016

87

The

How to ask forand

getwhat you want

Secret
to
Speaking Up
By da n i elle Gro en

88

OctOber 2016

readers digest

IllUStratIOn by GracI a lam

Would you rather take a cab

than ask your daughter to pick you

up from the airport? Do you pay
full price at a flea market instead
of bargaining? Youre not alone.
We hate pushing back on what we
want, even in situations where its
entirely acceptableand probably
advisableto do so.
When it comes to loaded emotional
discussions, whether they unfold in a
doctors office or across the diningroom table, it can be particularly
challenging to take a stand. Its
hard to speak from a vulnerable
place, says Vancouver psychologist
Richard Harrison. We can often be
ashamed of our needs, like theyre too
much; we worry theyre going to be
minimized. But its crucial to be able
to serve as your own advocate. Heres
how to do it.

demandsfor additional affection

or space, or a more equitable
distribution of choresin the first
place. Its common to get caught
in what Harrison calls a negative
interactional pattern, such as
assigning blame and being defensive.
Once a relationship breaks free from
those entrenched dynamics, its
easier for people to ask for what
they want in the big life decisions
like where to retire or how to spend
money, he says.

partners who
had direct
conversations
about conflict
held relationships
to a higher bar.

Why We DOnt
Speak Up
Theres no shame in being cautious
its proven to be a sound evolutionary
strategy. Because of the way our
brains have developed, we learn to
err on the side of prudence, scanning
the horizon for what we fear. Is that
shape going to kill me? I should run,
Harrison says. Thats what helped
humans survive.
Being confronted with disapproval
or distance in a relationship can be
as scary as staring down a predator,
so its tempting to avoid voicing our

These scary conversations are

crucial to the health of a relationship.
In a March 2016 study from Florida
State University, a psychologist looked
at couples standards for marriage,
their levels of satisfaction and their
communication skills. Partners who
were able to have direct conversations
about what caused conflict and what
was necessary to resolve it were more
likely to hold their relationship to
a higher barand to feel as though
those expectations were metthan
readers digest

OctOber 2016

89

t H e s e C r e t tO s P e a K i N g U P

those who resorted to sarcasm and

hostile jokes.

hOW tO aDvOcate fOr

yOUr neeDS
Wanda Morris, CO O and VP of
advocacy for the Canadian Association
of Retired Persons (CARP), has spoken
before parliamentary committees
about palliative care, so shes well
versed in having fraught conversations.
Before she begins, she recalls her
fathers advice: Shoulders back, stand
up straight, Morris says. Your body
language is going to give you authority
and confidence.

understanding
what really matters
to you puts you
in the best position
to speak on your
own behalf.
Were especially disinclined to
contradict an expert or ask questions,
which means a doctors office can be a
difficult place to advocate for yourself.
Be very specific about what youre
going through and what you need,
Morris says. Dont just say youre
hurting, she suggestssay the pain
is an eight out of 10 and that it feels
like a dagger in your left knee. You can
also bring a friend to make sure you
90

OctOber 2016

readers digest

dont downplay your symptoms.

If youre making a tough request,
know why youre doing it, says
Ayana Ledford, executive director
of Pittsburgh-based PROGRESS , an
organization that helps empower
women with negotiation tools. Do
you want more money? Do you want
a new experience with your partner?
When you understand what really
matters to you, she says, youre in
the best possible position to speak on
your own behalf.

What yOU neeD tO

fOllOW thrOUGh
If you simply announce I need more
romance! to your partner over dinner,
you might be met with befuddled
blinking and no actual results. Bring
specific solutions, like weekly date
nights, to the table. I met with a
couple, and she was struggling with
health problems and he was frozen
because he didnt know how to help,
Harrison says. After she said she
just needed him to listen, they were
both relieved.
After you talk, make a plan, a week
or a month later, to revisit the issue.
L e d fo rd says t hat est ab l i sh i ng
timelines helps avoid landing in
were working on it limbo. People
need to get back to you, she says. Set
a firm date. In doing so, you retain a
measure of control over the situation.
Because, sure, you cant always get
what you want. But thats today.
Theres still tomorrow.

As Kids See It

SuSan ca milleri Konar

Dont rush me. Im texting for two.

A while bAck, our family decided
to move into a larger house. Though
we started our real-estate search
around November, it was very clear
that our six-year-old son, Thomas,
already had Christmas on his mind.
As we drove away after touring
a potential new home, Thomas
pointed at the building next door.
Why dont we buy that one? he
asked. It has two chimneys. That
means we can have two Santas!
cos vAn weRmeskeRken

one AfteRnoon my sister

returned from school and asked my

mother in all seriousness, What

does suspended mean? Mum
patiently explained the concept
using dust particles suspended in air
as an example. My sister grew more
and more confused as she listened to
the detailed explanation.
Puzzled, she said, Today, during
the morning assembly, we were told
that classes IV will be suspended
tomorrow. So, what does that
mean?
bhARgAvA A. j., B e n g a l u r u
Readers Digest will pay for your funny
anecdote or photo in any of our jokes
sections. Post it to the editorial address,
or email: editor.india@rd.com
readers digest

october 2016

91

92

october 2016

ReadeRS digeST

The Race to Stop

The NexT
Mass
shooTer
By Ma r k F o l l Ma n F R o m Mot h e r Jo ne s
photographs by spencer h eyfron

ReadeRS digeST

october 2016

93

T h e R ac e To STo p T h e N e x T m aSS S h o oT e R

rik AyAlA wAs 16 yeArs old in September 2000,

when a police officer working at McNary High School

in Keizer, Oregon, USA, got a tip that he had told
another student that he was mad at preps and was
going to bring a gun in. Ayala struck the officer as
quiet, depressed, but he insisted he had no intention of hurting
others. Two months later, Ayala tried to kill himself by swallowing
[painkillers]. He was admitted to a private mental health facility.
For a specialized team of psychologists,
counsellors and cops, Ayalas suicide
attempt set off alarm bells. They were
part of a pioneering local programme
to identify and deter kids who might
turn violent. Before Ayala was released
from the hospital, the Salem-Keizer
school districts threat assessment
team interviewed his friends, family
and teachers. The y uncovere d
additional warning signs: Ayala went
online to try to buy a gun. And hed
drawn up a hit list. The names on it
included his close friend Kyle, and the
girl he longed for.
As s o on as the y deter mine d
Ayala didnt have any weapons, the
threat assessment team launched
a w rap a rou n d i nt e r ve nt i o n
counselling, in-home tutoring and
help pursuing his interests in music
and computers. Over the next year
and a half, his outlook improved and
the warning signs dissipated.
He was a ver y gifted, bright
young man, recalls John Van Dreal,
a psychologist involved in the case.
A lot of what was done for him was to
94

october 2016

ReadeRS digeST

move him away from thinking about

terrible acts.
When Ayala graduated in 2002, the
school-based team handed off his
case to the local adult threat assessment team, which included members
of the Salem Police Department and
the county health agency. The two
teams successfully interrupted Ayalas
process of planning to harm people,
Van Dreal says.
But then that path took him to
another city 80 kilometres away, where
he barely knew anyone.
as gun raMpages have increased,

threat assessment teams can now

be found everywhere, from school
districts and college campuses
to corporate headquarters and
theme parks. Weve seen this very
worrisome pattern over the past five
or six years of an increase in targeted
violence in public places, Reid Meloy,
a forensic psychologist from the
University of California, San Diego,
who is a leading researcher in the
field, told me. This is a big concern.

r e a d e r s d i g e s T. c o . i n

Threat assessment is essentially

a three-part process: identifying, evaluating and intervening. A case usually
begins with a gut feeling. A teacher
hears a students dark comments and
alerts the principal, or someone gets
freaked out by a co-workers erratic
behaviour and tells a supervisor. If
the tip makes its way to a local threat
assessment team, the group quickly
analyzes the subjects background and
circumstances. They may talk with
family, friends or co-workers to get
insight into his intentions, ability to

Mass Murder is noT an impulsive

crime. Virtually every attack, forensic

investigations show, is methodically
planned and executed. Therein lies
the promise of threat assessment :
The weeks, months or even years when
a would-be killer is escalating towards
violence are a window of opportunity
in which he can be detected
and thwarted.
This pathway to violence often
begins with an unshakable sense of
grievance, which stirs thoughts about
harming people and leads to the

Mass murder is not an impulsive crime. Virtually

every attack is methodically planned.
handle stress and, most importantly,
potential plans to strike. Possible
responses range from helping the
subject blow off steam and refocus on
school or work to providing longerterm counselling. If violence seems
imminent, involuntary hospitalization
or arrest may be the safest approach.
Our goal is prevention over
prosecution, explained supervisory
special agent Andre Simons, who
until last year led the FBIs Behavioral
Analysis Unit 2, which assists local
authorities in heading off would-be
killers. If we can facilitate caretaking
for individuals who are not able to
perceive alternatives to violence, then I
think thats a righteous mission for us.

planning and preparation for an attack.

The vast majority of mass shooters
signal their intentions in advance. This
leakage, as threat assessment teams
call it, can be difficult to recognize.
Before Dylann Roof murdered nine
black churchgoers in Charleston,
South Carolina, he told a friend about
his desire to kill people and start a race
war. (The friend claimed he didnt
think Roof was serious.)
We know that many mass shooters are young white men with acute
mental health issues. The problem
is, such broad traits do little to help
threat assessment teams identify who
will actually attack. Legions of young
men love violent movies or firstReadeRS digeST

october 2016

95

cRuShed iN a cRevice

person shooter games, get angry about

school, jobs or relationships, and
suffer from mental health afflictions.
The number who seek to commit mass
murder is tiny.
Sizing up a suspects current
circumstances is crucial: Did he
recently get fired from a job? Did he
lose his kids in a nasty custody battle?
Is he abusing drugs? Investigators
also look for visible signs, such
as deteriorating hygiene or living
conditions, which is why approaching
someone directly and building rapport
can be so important.
Mario Scalora, a forensic psychologist at the University of Nebraska
Lincoln, describes the case of a student
he calls Bob. When Scaloras campus
threat assessment team received a tip
about Bob muttering to himself and
making ominous comments, they
sent plain-clothes detectives to his
residence. Bob said that voices were
commanding him to hurt people and
96

october 2016

ReadeRS digeST

that he was scared. The detectives

persuaded him to check into a
psychiatric ward for evaluation. This
made him feel cared for, Scalora says,
and gave us a mechanism by which
we could continue to manage him.
For most cops, close collaboration with mental health experts was
unheard of until recently. And the idea
of intervening before there was a crime
to investigate went against everything
they knew from their training.
Then came Columbine.
as They ploTTed to slaughter their
classmates, Eric Harris and Dylan
Klebold werent just driven by rage
and depressionthey wanted to be
immortalized. [The 1999 Columbine
High School massacre led to a nationwide debate on gun control and mental
health. It is considered one of the worst
cases of school violence in the US.]
In diary entries and videos, the duo
fantasized about Hollywood directors

r e a d e r s d i g e s T. c o . i n

fighting over their story. They filmed

themselves firing guns and yelling
about killing hundreds and starting
a revolution.
Such legac y tokens [writing
or media content prepared by
shooters prior to attack] now often
include manifestos posted online by
perpetrators. They do this to claim
credit and to articulate the grievance
behind the attack, says the FBIs
Simons. And we believe they do it
to heighten the media attention that
will be given to them, the infamy and
notoriety they believe theyll derive
from the event.
There has long been evidence
that stalkers and mass murderers
emulate their famous predecessors.
Forensic psychologists describe this
phenomenon as following a cultural
script, or the Werther effect, referring
to a spate of copycat suicides in 18thcentury Europe after the publication
of Goethes novel The Sorrows of
Young Werther.
Seventeen years later, the Columbine legacy keeps reappearing in
violent plots, driven in part by online
subcultures that obsess over the duos
words and images. Its a cult following
unlike anything Ive ever seen before,
says one long-time security specialist.
Its not just Americans who emulate
the killers of Columbine. Shooters
inspired by these events have struck
in Brazil, Canada and Europe
particularly in Germany, where nine
school shootings occurred in the

decade after Columbine. At least three

German shooters drew inspiration
from Harris and Klebold, including
an 18-year-old who referred to them
as God and attacked his former
school wielding two sawed-off rifles,
a handgun and more than 10 homemade bombs.
Widespread anecdotal evidence
suggests that the speed at which social
media bombards us with memes and
images exacerbates the copycat effect.
Last August, a disgruntled former
TV reporter gunned down two former
colleagues during a live broadcast
in Virginia while filming the scene
on a camera, then posted the footage
on Twitter and Facebook. It went viral
in less than 30 minutes, raising the
grim prospect that others will aim for
similar feats.
But just as digital media has created
platforms for dangerous people
seeking a blaze of notoriety, it has also
become a valuable tool for identifying
them. Were now seeing that shooters
are announcing more frequently via
social media just prior to attacking,
Simons says. These days, he adds, its
possible theyre living more vividly
online than in the physical world.
in The Three years since Erik
Ayala had moved to Portland in 2006,
hed struggled to hold down a job or
find a girlfriend. Now 24 years old,
he was no longer in touch with the
teams who had watched over him
in his hometown. He had become
ReadeRS digeST

october 2016

97

T h e R ac e To STo p T h e N e x T m aSS S h o oT e R

increasingly withdrawn and often

holed up in his bedroom playing firstperson shooter games.
On 24 January, 2009, Ayala scribbled
a note apologizing to his family and
bequeathing his PlayStation 3, his
car and what remained in his bank
account to his roommate Mike. Then
he grabbed the 9 mm semi-automatic
hed bought two weeks earlier and
headed downtown.
Just before 10:30 p.m., a group of
teens waited in line outside the Zone,
an all-ages dance club. In a matter of
seconds Ayala fatally shot two girls and

wounded seven people, most of them

also teenagers. Then he put the barrel
under his chin and pulled the trigger
one last time.
Ayala ended up acting out his ideas
from high school, Van Dreal says. That
may suggest the two Oregon teams prevented Ayala from going on a rampage
when he was younger, but it also reflects the daunting challenge of managing a potentially dangerous person over
the long haul. Even if a troubled kid can
be turned away from violence, how do
you ensure he becomes a well-adjusted
adult? What happens when he moves

a TerriBle Toll
The UniTed STaTeS has a long and shocking history of mass shootings. here are
nine of the most deadly attacks in recent years.
20 april 1999 students eric harris,
18, and dylan Klebold, 17, killed 13 at
columbine high School, Littleton,
colorado.
16 april 2007 Student Seunghui
cho, 23, killed 32 at virginia polytechnic institute and State university.
3 april 2009 Jiverly Wong, 41, killed
13 at an immigrant community center
in Binghamton, New York
5 november 2009 army psychiatrist
major Nidal malik hasan killed 13 at
Fort hood, Texas.
20 July 2012 James e. holmes,
24, killed 12 at a movie theatre in
aurora, colorado.
14 december 2012 adam Lanza, 20,

98

october 2016

ReadeRS digeST

killed his mother at home and 26 staff

and students at Sandy hook elementary School, Newtown, connecticut.
16 september 2013 aaron alexis, 34,
killed 12 at the Washington Navy Yard,
in the district of columbia.
2 december 2015 in an act of
terrorism, married couple Syed
Rizwan Farook and Tashfeen malik
killed 14 employees of the San Bernardino county (california) department of public health, at the inland
Regional center.
12 June 2016 omar mateen, 29, killed
49 at a gay nightclub in
orlando, Florida. he called 911 during
the attack to pledge allegiance to
the terrorist group iSiS.

r e a d e r s d i g e s T. c o . i n

beyond the reach of those who have

helped him? When is a case really over?
The science behind threat assessment is still young, but it is attracting
growing interest; the American Psychological Association launched the Journal of Threat Assessment and Management in 2014. The ranks of the Association of Threat Assessment Professionals
are rising, and more corporate leaders
have taken an interest in the strategy.
Three statesVirginia, Illinois and
Connecticutnow mandate threat assessment teams in their public colleges
and universities. Virginia also requires
them in all K-12 public schools.
But should a huge investment in
threat assessment be the only serious
effort to stop mass shootings? Experts
I spoke with agreed that guns make
these crimes a lot easier to commit
and a lot more lethal. There are so
many firearms out there, you just
assume everybody has one, Scalora
says. The presence of more than 300
million guns in the United Statesand
the lack of political will to regulate their
sale or use more effectivelyis a stark
reality with which threat assessment
experts must contend, and why many

believe their approach may be the best

hope for combating what has become
a painfully normal American problem.
kyle alexander reMeMBers

how he and Erik Ayala met in the high

school marching band: They were both
introverts who loved video games and
commiserated about being misfits.
Hours before Ayala carried out his
attack, Ayalas roommate Mike called
Alexander, who was living in Seattle.
Hed found the note and he sounded
very frantic, Alexander recalls. He
didnt know what he could do from
so far away. We thought Erik was just
going through another bad cycle of
depression, Alexander says. We never
saw it coming.
Only recently did Alexander learn
the full details of Ayalas case, including
that he had once been on Ayalas hit
list. Alexander wishes hed stayed
closer with Ayala after high school.
I think it couldve made a difference
in his life.
Alexander now works as a school
psychologist in Salem, Oregon. He
is trained in threat assessment. His
passion is helping at-risk kids.

Mother Jones (NovemBeR/decemBeR 2015) copYRighT BY Mother Jones, WWW.MotherJones.CoM

healThy choices
ive stopped going to the gym now that ive realized i can just
watch cNN on mute at home.
@liZhackeTT

ReadeRS digeST

october 2016

99

100

OctOber 2016

readers digest

My daughter
approached
a strange man
on the beach.
What happened
next was a
real lesson.

Give a Girl

Fish

IllustratIOn by keI th negley

By vicki glemB ocki

Fr o m q u e st for kin dn ess

readers digest

OctOber 2016

101

giVe a girL a FisH

e are good mumS, I SaId to my frIend,

as we sat on our very fancy beach chairs,
under our very sturdily stabbed-into-thesand beach umbrella and watched our girls
played in the surf.
In fact, I felt like an extraordinarily good mother on that summer
morningId woken up early, made a picnic lunch, herded my
three- and five-year-old daughters into the car, driven to my
friends house, packed her and her three- and five-year-old
daughters into the car, and driven an hour and a half to the New
Jersey Shore, where we unfurled our towels on the beach by 10 a.m.

Out of nowhere, the girls took off

running. About 45 metres from us,
a manmaybe in his late 50swas
fishing with gigantic poles that looked
like they could hook Jaws. The girls
stood next to him and watched with
their little mouths hanging open as
he cast the lines. He smiled at them.
They ran back to usall except my
three-year-old, Drew. Instead, she
plopped her red-and-pink-flowered
butt next to the white bucket where
the man was probably planning to put
the fish that he caught.
My brain immediately shot into
Mama Bear mode: child molester.
Paedophile. Felon.
Drew! Come here! Play with your
friends! I yelled, very aware that
my speeches about not talking to
strangers werent working. It seemed
like all parents heard anymore was
stories about abductions and two102

OctOber 2016

readers digest

year-olds found dead on train tracks.

Good mums should be wary. Good
mums should teach their daughters
that the world is a dangerous place.
So I felt relieved when Drew trotted
over to me and grabbed a shovel.
Then she looked me square in the
eye: I want to be with man.
She ran back, sat down next to him
and started digging.
I watched them like a hawk, every
few seconds darting my head towards
my five-year-old to make sure she
hadnt been swept out to sea, then
back to Drew to make sure there was
no contact. Just a man fishing. A little
girl sitting.
What do you think shes saying
to him? my friend asked. In the
second Id glanced away, Drew had
started talking. Her mouth was
moving at warp speed. She was

R e A D e R s D i g e s T. c o . i N

My friend gave me that fish! she

probably telling the man where we
protested. The sand in front of the
lived and how her father was away
umbrella turned into a preschool
on business and how her mother
cage match with a yellow rubber fish
sometimes let her ride bikes with
flipping through the air. Tears were
her sister in the driveway alone.
fast approaching. I felt like I might
He nodded. She kept talking. He
cry myself. I tried to
n o d d e d aga i n , t h e n
confiscate the fish, but
laughed. She laughed.
that merely increased
A few seconds later,
The other girls
the volume of the
s h e ra n b a ck t o u s,
waving something very
were impressed, tantrums-in-waiting.
Suddenly, there he
shiny and slimy.
and they
was: the man, standing
Look, Mummy! A fish!
right next to us. He was
A what? I recoiled.
didnt try to
holding three more
A toy fish! It was,
hide how
rubber fish. He handed
inde e d, a toy fish
insanely jealous them to each of the girls.
yellow and rubber and
Thank you, they said,
covered in gold sparkles.
they were.
without prompting.
This must have been
Thank you, I said,
what he was using for
realizing that yes, there
bait. And hed given
is evil in the world but there also is
it to Drew. The three other girls
good, and kindness in strangers, and
were impressed, and they didnt try
lessons for mothers to learn that only
to hide how insanely jealous they
three-year-olds could teach them.
were. They all lunged for the fish.
The man half-waved at us and walked
Drew looked at me for help, then at
back to his poles.
the man, then back at me.
CopyrigHt 2010 by ViCki gLeMboCki. Quest for Kindness (2 septeMber 2010), aliciabessette.com.

HolieR THAN THoU eveN imAgiNeD

the farewell word goodbye first came into use in the late 1500s as
an alteration of the phrase god be with you. similarly, the spanish
sign-off adios is a contraction of the phrase a diosliterally
meaning to god.
source: english.stackexchange.com

readers digest

OctOber 2016

103

The

SUCCeSS
CODe

a Readers Digest article on Michael dell

had fired his imagination. today, he is a
major innovator in the silicon Valley.

BAngAlore in the 80s was still

wrapping its head around computers.

For some people, these were scary
new things; no one knew if these devices would destroy livelihoods or
build them. I came from a regular
middle class family where books and
magazines like Readers Digest were
a part of growing up. But computers
fascinated me, and I started writing
programs by the time I was 10. I will
always remember the time I sketched
something using Logo, an educational
language for drawing on a screen
through simple programming commands. What struck me, and the feeling stays with me even today, was the
sense of personal connectionof my
ability to write code, to see what I cre104

october 2016

readers digest

ated and to feel that sense of ownership and success. It gave me a sense of
control over something as complex as
a computer. Given the ambiguity surrounding these devices, the fact that I
could tell them what to do was pretty
empowering. My parents didnt think
twice about sending me to an out-ofschool course to learn more about
programming.
i wAs heAvily inspired by stories of technology innovators like Bill
Joy, co-founder of Sun Microsystems,
Microsofts Bill Gates and Steve Jobs
of Apple. Then [in 1994] I read an
article in Readers Digest on Michael
Dell, founder and CEO of Dell Inc. His
entrepreneurial story that started with

PHoto courtesy: Horto NWorKs

By Arun C . M urth y

That sense of personal

connection, of the ability
to write code and see
what I have created, stays
with me even today.
selling subscriptions to a local Houston newspaper was super inspiring.
At that time, middle-class kids in India were not familiar with the culture
of delivering newspapers or milk to
earn money. But Dells story certainly
made an impression. It lit that entrepreneurial spark and, years later,
when I was in my 20s, I had to decide
whether to go down that path or not.
I remember thinking that I was about
the same age Dell was when he created his own company [Dell registered
his company in 1984 when he was 19].
i grAduAted froM R. V. College
of Engineering, Bangalore, in 2003.
Then, while working in Yahoo, I
led the Yahoo Hadoop MapReduce
team in California and Bangalore.
Since early 2006, my focus has been
Apache Hadoop, an open-source
technology to manage data. It was
unclear then if Hadoop was going to
make a global impact. It was pretty
clear, though, that there was some sort
of opportunity. By late 2007 or early
2008, we realized that Hadoop was
readers digest

october 2016

105

the success code

going to create an impact beyond the

Silicon Valley.
i u n d e r s t o o d t h At there
was a big leap between building a
technology and convincing Fortune
1,000 enterprises to actually buy it.
Did I have the skills? Could I acquire
them? It helped to have people like
Rob Bearden and Peter Fenton at
Benchmark Capital, the venture
capitalist firm, on board. It gave me
confidence in the technology and
the belief that we could put together
a good team. My brother-in-law
Srikanth Rao, a veteran in the field of
IT services and consulting, pushed me
and gave me the confidence to pursue
a career in software, one that could
be entrepreneurial in nature. It was
reassuring, given that I was the son
of a banker and computers were still
a risky career choice. It was scarier
because I had just started a family and
had a six-month-old son.
I knew I was going to be a
technologist. The real questions were,
if there were opportunities to learn a
new set of business skills, and where I
could go from there.
Hortonworks was born in July 2011.
Our goal was to ensure that Hadoop
would, via Hortonworks, become
the standard platform for storing,
processing, managing and analyzing
big data. Our mission is to manage the
worlds data, while driving innovation
in open source communities. At that
time, I would never have imagined
106

october 2016

readers digest

We are a product of
our opportunities
and of our ability to
take advantage of
them. You have to
be willing to do the
hard work and
transform yourself.
that we would go public in three and
a half years and become the fastest
company in history to earn $100
million in annual revenue.
Steve Jobs once said, You cant
connect the dots looking forward;
you can only connect them looking
backwards. So you have to trust
that the dots will somehow connect
in your future. You have to trust

r e A d e r s d i g e s t. C o . i n

in somethingyour gut, destiny, life,

karma, whatever.
ten yeArs Ago, Hadoop was a
young technology with limitations
and our challenge was to widen its
appeal and make it consumable.
Now, Hadoop has made an impact
in every industryfrom healthcare
and banking to agriculture. A lot of
the Aadhaar project, for instance, is
based on Hadoop. I dont claim credit
for the project, but I do have a great
sense of pride and satisfaction that
some of my work will have an impact
on it. That I have been able to make a
positive difference to someone living
in a remote corner of India, who has
never even seen the internet. I could
never have dreamt big enough for this.
Im also proud of the work we are
doing in healthcare, particularly
cancer research and genomics
(mostly because Ive paid a personal
p r i c e i n my f a m i l y ) , w h i c h i s
revolutionizing medicine. We joined
the White Houses Precision Medicine
Initiative with an aim to drive open
collaboration. We are a product of
our opportunities and of our ability
to take advantage of them. Ive been
responsible for technologies that
have transformed the original in
fundamental ways, but you have to
stay grounded. You have to be willing
to put in the hard work required
to transform yourself. If you cant
transform yourself on a daily, weekly
or monthly basis, you cant take

advantage of the opportunities.

It is also important to work with
people you respect, like I did at
Yahoo. Dont follow the money, follow
the people. To be an entrepreneur,
it is as important to be adaptive
and to optimize learning and new
experiences.
What motivated me 10 years ago
was writing a piece of code or doing
something cool on my own. Now,
as a parent of two, I realize I am
far more satisfied by providing
an environment where others are
successful and motivated.
A n o t h e r k e y t o being an
entrepreneur is to stay curious and
to stay the course. If I hadnt worked
on Apache Hadoop at Yahoo for
three to four years, I wouldnt have
been able to create what I did.
You dont have to have 25 ideas. The
truly big ideas dont come along
unless you have a few years of depth,
until you have put in time, energy and
effort to understand a space.
This is what I want to give to my
children. I want them to be curious,
seek opportunities and understand that
they can take any action they wantas
long as they are willing to accept the
consequences of their choices. Thats
how dreams are built.
Arun C. Murthy is founder and vice
president of engineering at hortonworks,
an Apache hadoop pMC member and the
lead of the Mapreduce project, focused
on building nextgen Mapreduce (yArn).
readers digest

october 2016

107

classic drama iN rEal liFE

Encounter
in the

African

Bush

By J o hN dys oN

as puBlishEd iN FEBruary 1999

108

OctOber 2016

readers digesT

His arm mangled by a crocodile,

the guide lay in the dark, waiting for lions
and hyenas to finish him off. Then came
something he never expected.

readers digesT

OctOber 2016

109

encounTer in THe african busH

ith a picnic lunch and fishing rods, Alistair

Alistair had brought his friends to

spend a long Easter weekend at the
small tourist camp he was building
on a remote part of the Zambezi.
They were his old pal Arthur Taylor, a
construction manager, Arthurs wife,
Fay, and her parents, Brenda and
Clive Kelly, who had just returned
from England.
This part of the wide Zambezi,
which marked the boundary between
Zambia and Zimbabwe, was a popular
stretch for tourist boats, but today the
party had it all to themselves. Alistair
cut the engine to let the boat drift with
the fast current. They got out their
rods and started to fish.
Soon Brenda yelled, Ive got one!
Proudly she dropped the days first
fish into the boat.
But just then, the boat leapt into the
air, sending Clive and his daughter over
opposite sides. The slight, grey-bearded
ex-teacher surfaced, flicking water from
his eyes. As his vision cleared, he saw
the wide mouth of a hippo, just a few
feet away, charging again.
Clive heard its yellow tusks scraping
over the fibreglass as the hippos jaw
clamped on to the side of the boat.
110

OctOber 2016

readers digesT

Then the two-ton beast reared on its

back legs and, with a single toss of
its head, flipped the boat completely
over. Its mission of defending its
territory accomplished, the hippo
backed down with a snort.
Still under the boat, Arthur grabbed
Brenda and Fay. Arms linked, the trio
swirled free of the craft and were swept
downstream until they gained a footing
on a submerged sandbank midstream.
With the hippo gone, Alistair and
Clive climbed on to the upturned
boat. Its heavier back end had sunk
to the bottom and was stuck there.
Alistair sat up on the bow jutting
out of the water to take stock. The
boat was marooned 90 metres from
shore. Fifty metres downstream in
mid-river, Arthur and the two women
were slowly wading to where they
could stand knee-deep in water on
the sandbank. Everyones safe, Alistair
thought with relief.
FaTal EmBracE

Alistair made a plan. He knew there

was a fishing camp five kilometres
downstream on the far side of the
river; he could swim the 90 metres

all I llustratI Ons by claI re fletc her

Gellatly, 39, and four friends pushed out on the Zambezi

River for a peaceful day of fishing. Zooming upstream
on the swirling African river in April 1994, the boat weaved past
sunbathing crocodiles, snorting hippos and elephants wallowing in
the muddy shallows. Alistair eyed the creatures without concern.
He had spent most of his life in the bush as a safari guide.

r E a d E r s d i g E s T. c o . i N

to the nearer bank, walk downriver

and shout across. Hed seen many
crocodiles in the river that morning.
But swimming with flat dogs
didnt worry him that much. It was
only noon, and the crocodiles were
sunbathing lazily on the river banks.
Im going for help, Alistair told
Clive. Splashing as little as possible,
he swam across the river towards a
boggy inlet. But as he paddled closer,
a grey shape slithered into the water
in front of him. Alistair stopped to
tread water; the crocodile stopped
and looked at him. It was blocking the
way to the bank.
Yelling and slapping the surface
of the water, Alistair charged at the

crocodile to frighten it off. It sank

out of sight.
Alistair ducked under water to look
for the animal, but was blinded by the
mud cloud hed kicked up. In a panic,
Alistair lurched backwards into clear
water and went under again. The
eight-foot creature was coming at him
like a torpedo.
Quickly Alistair jerked his legs up.
Brushing against his feet, the croc
vanished into a mud cloud. Then it
whipped around and came back, its
powerful tail whacking Alistair in the
back as it passed. Gasping, Alistair
surfaced for air, then went down,
opened his eyes and looked into an
open mouth with two rows of gleaming,

readers digesT

OctOber 2016

111

encounTer in THe african busH

yellow-brown teeth.
Like a huge mousetrap,
the crocs jaws clamped
shut on both of Alistairs
arms. In spite of the searing
pain he had enough presence of mind to take a last
breath as the croc dragged
him under. Alistair managed to wrench his left hand
free, but the reptile held
firmly to his right forearm
as it swam backwards, dragging him to deeper water.
The crocodile spun its
body and whirled the 90kilo six-foot man around in
the water like a dishcloth
being rinsed. Alistair felt
his right forearm snap;
his elbow and shoulder
dislocated. It paused. Then Alistair
realized it was turning again.
The scaly armour of the crocs middle scratched the inside of Alistairs
own muscular thighs. Instinctively
he clamped both legs round its belly
and locked his ankles behind its back.
When the beast rolled, he rolled with
it. Locked in a fatal embrace, man and
crocodile sank into deeper water.
dEspEraTE maNoEuvrE

Alistairs frantic, powerful punches

with his left fist simply glanced off
the tough hide. His breath running
out, he snatched a front foot and bent
the claws back with all his strength.
Again, no luck.
112

OctOber 2016

readers digesT

Recalling that crocodiles become

docile when their eyes are covered or
blinded, Alistair plunged his thumb
into the crocs eye, but the eyeball
merely slithered around in its socket.
He jabbed a forefinger into the other
eye with no result. All the time the
reptile kept shaking, and with each
shake, blood spurted from Alistairs
arm, staining the water red.
Alistairs lungs screamed for air.
Desperately he took his free arm and
jammed it into the reptiles mouth,
hoping he could force it to gag.
He felt sharp teeth rip his flesh as he
drove his hand in deeper and deeper.
His fingers felt a rubbery flap at the
back of the throat. Now! Grabbing the
wad of soft flesh between his fingers,

r E a d E r s d i g E s T. c o . i N

he twisted and pulled as hard as

he could.
With a spasm, the cro co dile
coughed. Its jaws opened involuntarily, just long enough to let Alistair
jerk his arms free.
Paddling as best he could with his
one good arm, Alistair surfaced. When
he reached the bank, he lay gasping,
utterly spent.
His right forearm was a gory mess,
with deep jagged wounds, the joints
twisted, the bone broken. Roused to
action, he drove a sharp stick through
his shirt sleeve and twisted it tightly to
slow the bleeding.
Dazed and weak, Alistair lurched to
his feet and staggered into the bush.
He was determined to press on with
his plan to get help.
A few yards inland he faced a steep
slope covered with scrub. Painfully
he worked his way to the top, then
blacked out. When he awoke, he
struggled a few more yards, but a gully
blocked his route.
Slithering down the slope again,
he followed the river bank. He could
see the three people knee-deep on
the sandbank and one person on the
overturned boat. A croc got me, he
yelled across the river to Clive. Im
okay, but I have to rest.
Alistair knelt by the waters edge,
washed and covered his wounded
arm with a makeshift bandage and lay
down in a shady spot. His only hope
was to survive until morning and then
try to reach the camp.

a NEw worry

Stranded on the overturned boat,

Clive was heartsick when he saw
Alistair stumble back to the river
alone. It meant they wouldnt be
rescued that day.
Though apprehensive, he decided
to risk the swim to join the others on

Wracked by pain,
alistair saW the
darkness Was closing
inand the time
When predators
begin to proWl.
the sand bank. Now at least everyone
was together.
Any thought of swimming for
shore was dashed by the thought of
Alistairs ordealand the sight of a
12-foot crocodile sunning itself on the
river bank. Their best hope still was
with Alistair.
Easy prEy

Drifting in and out of consciousness

and wracked by pain, Alistair saw the
darkness closing inand the time
when predators began to prowl. Get
something to throw, he told himself.
He piled stones beside his resting place.
From downriver came a chilling
series of deep, throaty roars that were
answered by other roars: lions calling
readers digesT

OctOber 2016

113

encounTer in THe african busH

by. He thought that it was

only a matter of time before
something got him.
Suddenly all was silent, and
Alistairs skin prickled. He knew
when big animals close in on
their prey they go quiet. Alistair
strained his ears listening and
then his eyelids drooped shut.
NighT visiTor

to one another. Next he heard the

yowling of hyenas, scavengers that
could detect the scent of wounded
animals from miles away.
Alistair had often spent a night
alone in the bush, but never without
a fireand a firearm. He knew that
to the night stalkers the blood trail
hed left was like a well-posted road
leading to an easy kill.
He was fighting sleep when a loud
roar made him jump. It was close
114

OctOber 2016

readers digesT

A s t r a n g e n o i s e b ro u g h t
Alistair fully awake. He heard
heavy breathing and plodding
footsteps. They were moving
towards him. Craning his neck,
he made out a set of enormous
curving horns and the vast bulk
of the last animal he expected
to seea Cape buffalo! A lone
bull buffalo is one of the most
fearedand treacherous
animals in Africa.
Standing 20 metres away in
the clearing, it lifted its muzzle
to catch Alistairs scent. Its
enormous horns spanned more
than three feet. He knew that one hook
of those horns could toss a man high
in the air. The hunting world was full
of stories of hunters gored or trampled
to death by these behemoths.
Unable to run, Alistair sat up
painfully and lobbed a stone, hitting
the beast in the head. But the buffalo
merely shook its head as if bothered
by a fly and stepped nearer.
At a distance of 10 metres the
buffalo stopped and gazed at Alistair.

r E a d E r s d i g E s T. c o . i N

Then it carefully folded its front legs

and, with a grunting sigh, laid down
its great hulk.
Astonished, Alistair watched as the
buffalo placidly chewed cud, its gaze
fixed on the bushy ridge abovethe
same direction that Alistair had been
watching all night. After puzzling
over it for some time, Alistair worked
out what for him could be the only
explanation: the buffalo is guarding
me! Finally the injured man fell asleep.
somEThiNgs comiNg

Hours later, Alistair snapped awake

and felt tickly things on his bare chest.
Then, in his armpits, on his face, in his
wounds, he felt hundreds of bites and
stings. Red ants! Shouting in pain, he
jumped up. The buffalo snorted with
alarm as Alistair beat the insects off
his body. He froze until the beast
resumed its chewing.
Refreshed by his sleep, Alistair pondered his situation. As a professional
guide, hed seen animals inexplicably
helping those of a different species.
At a floodlit waterhole once, hed
watched lions bring down a zebra,
then seen a hippo try to nudge the

dying zebra to its feet.

He wondered if he was benefiting
from another such extraordinary
instance of one animal risking its life
to help another. Whatever the reason,
Alistair was thankful.
Suddenly the buffalo lurched to its
feet and ran off, crashing through the
scrub. Alistair became alert instantly.
Was something coming?
Crouched against a rock, he
relaxed as he realized what was
comingit was dawn. Squinting into
the brilliant light on the river, Alistair
counted four figures. Its a miracle, he
thought, but were all alive!
Alistair set off for the fishing
camp. The trip took hours, but help
eventually reached the stranded
foursome. After recuperating from
his injuries, he returned to his work
as a safari guide, but with a renewed
sense of wonder.
Something special happened that
night, he says. A hippo tried to
drown me, a crocodile almost ate me
and then a buffalo helped me survive.
I dont suppose anyone will ever be
able to explain that act of mercybut
Ill never forget it.

how much is a BuTTload?

its 130 gallons. according to the imperial measurement system,
a butt (from the french botte, meaning boot) is the
second-largest size of wine cask you can get.
source: gizmodo.com

readers digesT

OctOber 2016

115

Their military is no threat, but they have a gigantic advertising budget.

the fiRst thing you do during

a Service Selection Board (SSB) interview is to introduce yourself using

your full name. It was my batchmate
Lewiss turn to report to the interviewing officer. He entered, stood in
attention and said, Sir, Lewis Rohan
Joseph Robert reporting, sir. The
interviewing officer responded, without looking up, Come one by one,
please.
PaRihal laisRam, Silchar, Assam
hanging behinD ouR first sarges

desk is a picture of a helmet, sword

116

oCToBer 2016

readers digest

and breastplate, and a sign that reads:

Unless your field gear looks like this,
dont talk about the old Army.
DaviD bass

how come the Dove gets to be

the symbol of peace? Why not the
pillow? It has more feathers and
doesnt have that dangerous beak.
Jack hanDey, humorist

Readers Digest will pay for your funny

anecdote or photo in any of our jokes
sections. Post it to the editorial address,
or email: editor.india@rd.com

Tom Cheney/The new yorker ColleCTi on/ Con d nasT

Humour in Uniform

118

october 2016

readers digest

Outsmart
Breast
Cancer
How to manage your risk
with easy moves
By Kat h a Ko li Das gup ta with sam antha R i Deou t

Among the remAining mysteries of breast cancer is a very basic

one: its causes. Its not unusual for women to develop this form of
cancer without having even one of the known risk factors. The
statistics are scary: One in 22 women in urban India may develop
breast cancer in her lifetime. According to a 2016 report published
by the Indian Council of Medical Research, breast cancer is now the
most common cancer among urban Indian women, with approximately 1,44,000 new cases being reported every year. The average
age of the high-risk group in India is 4346 years, unlike in the West
where women aged 5357 years are more prone to the disease.
readers digest

october 2016

119

outsmart breast cancer

of your family can

be a clue to a hereditary link. Among
Indians, though,
the incidence of BRCA1
and 2 genetic mutation
is much lower, says
Dr Nita Nair, surgical oncologist at Tata
Memorial Hospital,
Mumbai. You may
know that the medical
history of first-degree
relatives (parents, siblings and children) is most important
for assessing risk but consider secondand third-degree relatives too (aunts,
uncles, cousins, great-grandparents,
grandchildren, nieces and nephews).
If your family history worries you, enlist
the help of a genetics expert.

Know Your Family History

Find Out How Dense Your

Breasts Are

About 5 to 10 per cent of breast cancer is hereditary. Your fathers family

counts as much as your mothers. And
look at your family history for other
kinds of cancers too. Men can carry
some of the same aberrant genes, such
as BRCA1 and BRCA2, that increase the
risk of not only breast cancer but also
prostate cancer. While women with
an abnormal BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene
have an increased risk of developing ovarian and pancreatic cancers.
People with mutated BRCA gene are
at a higher risk of getting cancer. Also,
multiple diagnoses on either side

When you have more tissue than

fat in your breastswhich is common in younger womenit makes
cancer harder to detect on a mammogram: Both tumours and breast
tissue show up white, while fat looks
dark. Even more important, having dense breasts takes your cancer
risk up by four to six times. Experts
arent sure why, but one explanation:
high breast density means more than
average number of glandular cells and
tissue, which takes up the risk, says
Nair. Some researchers also believe that
breast density may be linked with other

120

october 2016

readers digest

All I mAges: I NDIAP IctUre

A growing number of
young women in their
20s and 30s seem to
be afflicted. The good
news is that you can
take active steps to
lower your risk. Moreover, detected early,
breast cancer is one of
the curable cancers.
There are also new
ways to improve your
risk profile, including
becoming aware of the
geography of your breasts and tracing
your fathers family history, not just
your mothers. You wont eliminate
risk altogether; the biggest risk for
breast cancer is being a woman.
But you may be able to dramatically
slash your chances of developing the
disease. Heres where to start.

R e a D e R s D i g e s t. c o . i n

factors, such as the history of a womans hormone exposure. Ask the radiologist who does your mammogram
whether your breasts are dense. While
you cant reduce their density (though
it does tend to reduce with age), you
can protect yourself by asking your
doctor about adding MRI or ultrasound
to your screening regimen, or switching from traditional mammography
to digital, which is higher in contrast,
making it easier to see abnormalities in
the dense tissue.
Many of the risk factors identified so
farparticular genes, family history,
dense breast tissue and so onare beyond your control. Nevertheless, there
are a few preventive steps you can take.

16 per cent. (By contrast, a BRCA1 gene

mutation like the one Angelina Jolie
carries can increase a womans risk by
up to 2,900 per cent.) A possible explanation: Alcohol raises oestrogen levels,
which promotes some types of breast
cancer, while lowering levels of essential nutrients like vitamin A that protect
against cell damage.

Limit Hormone Therapy

Extra oestrogen and progesterone exposure is also why women
should give careful consideration to
hormonal treatmentsincluding
hormone replacement therapy (HRT)
and birth control pills. According to the
Womens Health Initiative, long-

One in 22 women in urban India may develop

breast cancer in her lifetime.
Drink Lightly
Epidemiologic studies around the
world have found that the more
alcohol someone imbibes on a
regular basis, the greater the risk. This
link is quite well established now, even
though its not one of the cancer facts
thats getting much attention, says
Kevin OHagan, a spokesperson for the
Irish Cancer Society.
Even two drinks per day increases
the breast cancer rate compared
to abstaining, though only by 7 to

term use of combined oestrogen plus

progestin therapy increases a womans
risk of breast cancer by 26 per cent.
However, there is good news for
pill users: A womans breast-cancer
risk returns to baseline levels by the
time shes been off the pill for about
10 years. For many women, one or both
of these treatments might be worth the
modest increase in breast-cancer risk,
given the benefits of contraception and
menopausal symptom relief. If you opt
for HRT, re-evaluate the decision every
readers digest

october 2016

121

outsmart breast cancer

six months with your doctor, recommends Dr Geeta Kadayaprath, HOD,

Breast Surgical Oncology, Max Healthcare, New Delhi. If you choose not to
take HRT, speak to your physician about
other options to manage symptoms.

Eat the Right Foods

Every Day
Harvard researchers recently found that
women who had the highest carotenoid
levels in their blood had a lower risk
of breast cancer than those with the
lowest levels. Carotenoids are found
in fruits and vegetables such as leafy
greens, carrots, red bell peppers and

cantaloupes. Women who consumed

more carotenoids had an even
lower risk of developing oestrogenreceptor-negative breast cancer (which
is often more aggressive). Other
phytonutrients may also protect against
breast cancer, including sulforaphane
(found in cruciferous vegetables
such as broccoli) and lycopene (the
chemical that gives tomatoes their red
colour). The American Cancer Society
recommends eating five or more
servings of fruits and vegetables a day,
limiting processed and red meats, and
choosing wholegrain versions of food to
help reduce risks of all types of cancer.

Detect it eaRly
foR queRies anD aDvice on when to staRt mammogRam
scReening and how often to repeat it, consult a specialist. carry your
medical records and explain your family history. according to dr ramesh
sarin, senior oncologist at indraprastha apollo Hospital, new delhi, early
detection and advances in treatment dramatically improves breast cancer
survival rates by up to 90 to 95 per cent. follow this schedule to monitor
your risk:
1. 20 years and above: do a breast self-examination and follow it up with
a clinical examination by your doctor every couple of years. according to
the american cancer society (acs), all women should be familiar with
how their breasts normally look and feel, and report any changes to their
doctor right away.
2. 3040 years: You should get an annual clinical breast exam from
your physician.
3. 4050 years: schedule in a mammogram every two years.
4. 50 years and older: You should get an annual screening mammogram
5. acs recommends that women with a family history of breast cancer, a
known brca gene mutation or those who have had radiation therapy to
the chest between the ages of 1030 years should get an mri and a
mammogram every year.

122

october 2016

readers digest

R e a D e R s D i g e s t. c o . i n

Get Moving
When it comes to controlling your risk, staying active is key. The
protective effects of
exercise against breast
cancer require further
study, but research has
shown that even as little as 2.5 hours of brisk
walking per week could
reduce the chances
of developing the disease by around 18 per cent compared
to a sedentary lifestyle. The reason:
Oestrogen. Before menopause, oestrogen is produced largely by a womans
ovaries; after menopause, when ovaries
stop producing the hormone, most of
the oestrogen comes from fat tissue.
The more fat, the greater the oestrogen.
Second, exercise alters oestrogen
metabolism, says a study in the journal

Cancer Epidemiology,
Biomarkers & Prevention. Among women
who exercise, the metabolite ratio of good
oestrogens to bad
oestrogens (those that
can damage DNA and
increase a womans
breast-cancer risk)
improved by roughly
25 per cent found
the study.
Remember that prevention management isnt an all-or-nothing endeavour.
Nobody lives risk-free, nor is that a realistic goal. But being aware of potential hazards means you can take action
by getting mammograms before
age 50, for instanceif you have any
risk factors.
inputs fRom sweta pal
anD gaRima gupta

WitH additional inputs from prevention india. october 2015 liVing media india limited.

we Do apologize (BaDly)
A local newspaper printed the following notice:
congratulations george brownridge, for pleasing 15 women
for an entire day. We were all exhausted and very satisfied and
look forward to next year. We all thank you!
... and were forced to run this the next day:
our sincere apology to george brownridge and staff.
our intentions were to thank him for a generous holiday
shopping trip he arranged ... any inappropriate innuendos were
unintentional and we take full responsibility.
source: huffingtonpost.com

readers digest

october 2016

123

Fantastic
Festivals
are out there waiting to be celebrated, all
over the world. Join us on a trip to the most
thrilling events taking place around the
globe and in India.

AlA my Stock P hoto

By Co r n elia Kum fert and Ch itra su B r a ma n ya m

124 | october 2016

readers dIgest

readers dIgest

october 2016

125

126

october 2016

readers dIgest

PhotoS: (l e ft) Al A my Stock Ph oto; (b e low)

ind iAPictu re ; (rig ht ) r e u t e r S

r e a d e r s d i g e s t. C o . i n

every year in Nevada (Usa) there is

artwork and curiosities to marvel at
when the Black rock desert changes
into a mammoth art exhibition
(previous page). In august and
september, some 70,000 people come
to celebrate the Burning Man Festival.
skulls, grotesquely colourful
candies and paper skeletons?
Welcome to the day of the dead!
In early November, Mexicans
commemorate their deceased with
this opulent festival. the streets turn
into a garish, fun mile full of people
dancing, laughing and eating
preferably skulls made of icing sugar.

diaperama! at the Crying Baby Festival

or Nakizumo in tokyo (Japan), sumo
wrestlers do their darnedest to bring babies
to tears. sadism run riot? Not a bit of it! Its
a 400-year-old tradition based on a
Japanese proverb that says that crying
babies grow fastest, and parents believe
the event, held every april, brings good
health to their children.
hundreds of men, their bodies painted
in hues of yellow, black and red, stalk
through Kerala's thrissur and Palghat
districts. they dance and hunt, acting
like tigers and leopards. Pulikali or the
dance of the tiger is over 200 years old,
and is performed annually on the fourth
day of Onam, the states harvest festival.
readers dIgest

october 2016

127

128

october 2016

readers dIgest

r e a d e r s d i g e s t. C o . i n

PhotoS: Al Amy

once every three years pilgrims travel

to different holy cities for the Kumbh
Mela. It is one of the biggest gatherings
of Hindu devotees in the world. the mela
rotates between Haridwar (shown here),
Ujjain, Nashik and allahabad. But it is the
Maha Kumbh that takes place once in 144
years, which is considered the holiest.
every year the men of Nandgaon, in
Uttar Pradesh, visit the village of Barsana.
there, they are greeted with not just
colour, but also sticks. the women then
beat the men who protect themselves
with leather shields. the celebrations for
Lathmar Holi, as its called, go on for over
a week. the festival traces its origins to
the legends of radha and Krishna.

mock battles, military exercises,

gatka or sparring with wooden sticks
and bareback horse riding are just some
of the things that define the sikh fair of
Hola Mohalla. the annual fair is held in
anandpur sahib, Punjab and dates back
to ad 1700, to the time of guru gobind
singh. Held a day after Holi in March,
the guru decreed that the three-day fair
be an occasion for the sikh to practise
military exercises and tactics. the
highlight is a spectacular procession of
the Nihangs, an armed sikh order, as
they demonstrate their prowess with
traditional weapons.
readers dIgest

october 2016

129

F a N t a s t I C F e s t I va L s

monkey business in London.

the great gorilla run took place
for the 14th time in september this
year to raise money for endangered
mountain gorillas. each year
hundreds of people participate, all
wearing gorilla costumes of course!
the mysterious and colourful
Cham dance dates back to ad 765
and is usually performed by tibetan
monks at important festivals. It is
believed that the dance is a form of
meditation and embodies tibetan
tradition and strength. Masked
Cham dancers are seen here
performing at the Phyang tsedup
festival in Ladakh, which is held in
July/august every year.
130

october 2016

readers dIgest

P hotoS: ( lef t) getty im AgeS;

(toP An d right) AlAm y Stock Ph oto

a very special sporting event takes

place annually in september, when socalled highliners meet up for concerted
action in the Italian alps. at the Highline
Meeting in Monte Piana (dolomites) they
join forces to balance their way from peak
to peak. From time to time they take a
breather, not in some cosy pension, but
2,300 metres up on the mountainside!

r e a d e r s d i g e s t. C o . i n

readers dIgest

october 2016

131

The French city of Lyon has long embraced

the simple pleasures of traditional cuisine.

Food

Soul
for the

By M arc el Th ero ux
fr o m T RAV E L & L E I SU R E

View of Rue Saint-Jean near

Place Neuve St-Jean in the
medieval old city.

132

OctOber 2016

readers digesT

readers digesT

OctOber 2016

133

first came to Lyon

in 2011 to watch the Bocuse

dOr, the worlds most prestigious cooking competition. Held every two years,
the Bocuse takes place in a
cavernous auditorium amid
a frenzy of flag-waving,
drum-beating spectators. In front of
them, 24 chefs, competing for their
nations, strive to produce two courses
of impeccable food.
Everything about the event is over
the top. Each courseone of meat,
one of fishis presented to the judges
on huge salvers. The finished food
is unnaturally elaborate, bearing
the same relation to something you
might actually eat as the physique of
the Incredible Hulk does to a normal
body shape. The year I went, first,
second and third places were all taken
by teams from Scandinavia; a result
that prompted inevitable jeremiads
about the decline of France as a
culinary superpower.
That evening, on the recommendation of a friend, I went into the city
centre to eat at Caf Comptoir Abel, a
tiny, typically Lyon restaurant known
as a bouchon. It turned out to be four
homely, wood-panelled dining rooms,
hung with posters and a dessert menu
written in chalk on a blackboard. I had
been advised to try the pike quenelle.
It arrived on a sizzling plate in creamy
mushroom sauce. By an extraordinary
act of alchemy, the chef had turned a
bony and basically inedible pike into a
134

OctOber 2016

readers digesT

soft bolster of delicately fishy consolation. It was sublime.

I asked the chef, Alain Vigneron, what
it had to do with the grandiose offerings
at the Bocuse dOr. What I do, he said
modestly, is grandmothers cooking.
Walking home from Abel, I had the
feeling of rediscovering something
that foreign visitors have been learning
in France for at least a century: that
excellent food is not a contest, or a
luxury, or a fashion, but something
more simple and intimatea daily act
of conviviality. I felt I understood why
Curnonsky, the renowned French early20th-century food writer, had declared
Lyon the capital of gastronomy. And
I made a mental promise to return one
day and bring my family.
Earlier this year, judging that my
eight-year-old daughter and six-yearold son might finally be old enough for
the adventure, I rented an apartment
in a 19th-century building on the Quai
Saint-Antoine, in the heart of the city.
From the moment we arrived, it was
clear that the life of the city centres
on food. Six mornings a week, there
was a huge outdoor food market on
the embankment directly beneath us,
with more than a hundred bewitching
stalls of fresh vegetables, fish, meat,
cheese, bread and charcuterie. On our
first visit, we came away with a roast
chicken, tomatoes from Provence,
a sausage baked inside a brioche, a
baguette and some cheese, which
we took for a picnic in the Roman
amphitheatre on Fourvire hill.

P hOtO, PreVI OUS SP reAD: SI M e/eStOck OPP OSI te PAGe, c LOckWISe Fr OM tOP L eF t: cOU rteSy AUbe rG e
DU P Ont De cOLLOnGeS; ceLIne cLA net 2; MAUrIce rOUGe MOnt/cO rbIS; ce L Ine cL Ane t

Food For The souL

r e a d e r s d i g e s T. c o . i n

Clockwise from top left: Paul Bocuses

restaurant LAuberge du Pont de
Collonges; Chef Mathieu Viannay;
Caf Comptoir Abel; truffle soup
created by Bocuse for the lyse Palace;
veal sweetbreads fricassee and lobster
with peas from La Mre Brazier.

readers digesT

OctOber 2016

135

Food For The souL

From here, we could look down

on the city and see every phase of
Lyons history: the Roman stones of
the amphitheatre; the terracotta roof
tiles, towers and courtyards of the
medieval old city; the grand 18th- and
19th-century buildings of Presqule,
between the Rhne and Sane rivers;
the modern city beyond.
the food of Lyon has been praised
for at least 2,000 years. In the citys
Gallo-Roman Museum, we saw
ancient testimonies to the quality
of its pork, wine and chicken. Its
culinary excellence is in part an
accident of geographythe city sits at
the intersection of several of Frances
greatest wine regions and its cooks
are able to draw on nearby delicacies:
great fruit and vegetables, Charolais
beef, blue-legged Bresse chickens,
pork, snails, game and freshwater fish.
But the citys modern reputation
was made in the 19th century, when
a cohort of young women founded
restaurants and spent their lives
perfecting and serving a handful of
dishes, all based around the local
produce. They became known as Les
Mres, the mothers.
The most celebrated of all was
Eugnie Brazier, born in 1895, whose
life was a culinary Cinderella story.
Aged 19 and unmarried, she gave
birth to a son and had to leave her
village in disgrace. She found work
under Mre Fillioux, the most famous
chef in Lyon, and finally opened a
136

OctOber 2016

readers digesT

restaurant of her own. Relentless

hard work, a commitment to the
best ingredients and rare talent saw
her become in 1933 the first chef to
command six Michelin starsthree
for each of her two restaurants. She
died in 1977. Plump and smiling in
her surviving photographs, she still
exudes an unmistakable steeliness.
Mre Braziers true heir is the man
responsible for Lyons gastronomic
ascendancy in the 20th century:
Paul Bocuse, the superstar chef who
founded the Bocuse dOr. Not only is
the competition named after him, but
its trophies are gold, silver and bronze
statuettes of the man himself. The fact
that Monsieur Bocuse can pull off this
kind of self-advertisement is a tribute
to his suavity and the genuine esteem
in which he is held.
Paul Bocuse began his apprenticeship under Mre Brazier in 1946. He
has always acknowledged a profound
debt to her. Now 88, Bocuse is virtually
a gastronomic deity. Lyons covered
market was renamed in his honour
in 2006. His flagship restaurant, the
Auberge du Pont de Collonges, stands
on the Sane, a 15-minute drive out
of the centre of Lyon. The evening I
went, the slopes of Croix-Rousse hill
were gilded in the late afternoon light.
As we drove upward, I told my wife
that Id had job interviews that I felt
less nervous about. I was intimidated
by the expenseenormousand the
feeling of entering the rarefied air of a
culinary Valhalla.

r e a d e r s d i g e s T. c o . i n

P hOtO: OLIVer StreW e/Getty I MAG eS

Looking across the Sane River

toward Fourvire hill

Bocuses other restaurants follow

recent innovations, offering foams
and the like. But here, in a strangely
garish former mill that is festooned
with pictures of the master, Bocuses
team serves his Greatest Hits.
Bresse chicken, poached with
slivers of black truffle under its skin, is a
dish Bocuse would have seen prepared
by Mre Brazier herself. It arrived at
our table in the pigs bladder in which
it had been poached, ballooning
like a brontosaurus egg. The waiter
punctured the bag, removed the bird
and carved it expertly. First we ate
the legs in a sweet and woody morel
mushroom sauce. Then the breasts
were served on a separate plate with

dressed endive. It was one of a handful

of truly extraordinary meals Ive eaten
in my life.
We quickLy feLL in Love with
Lyons big squares, its leafiness, its
rational public transport system, its
relaxed pace of life, its lack of crowds.
Beneath and behind the visible city
lay a second one of hidden medieval
courtyards, bricked-up wells and steep
Renaissance staircases.
At the caf by our apartment, we
dipped our morning croissants in
hot chocolate and watched workers
grabbing espresso and men slapping
two-euro coins on the zinc counter for
an 8 a.m. glass of ros.
readers digesT

OctOber 2016

137

Food For The souL

Lyon is an odd, binary place: it

has two different hills, Fourvire and
Croix-Rousse, one historically a place
of worship, the other a place of work;
two different rivers, the slow-moving
Sane and the more turbulent Rhne;
it also has its two cuisinesthe
celebrated inheritors of the traditions
of Les Mres, and the demotic food
served in the citys bouchons.
The bouchon is the platonic ideal
of a certain kind of restaurant. Inside,
its always the year 1927. Theres
dark wood, red-and-white-checked
tablecloths, framed prints, perhaps
a big vase of roses. No one is in a
hurry, but everything is done with
brisk expertise. Its glories are simple
ones: salad lyonnaise with bacon and
a poached egg on top; pickled herring
with potatoes; sausage. There are
often no more than half a dozen main
courses, with pork and tripe dishes
well represented.
The gutsy, affordable, unfussy
b o u c h o n f o o d g ra n d m o t h e r s
cookingis a democratic cuisine.
These are the dishes of a proud and
assertive urban working class. The
leisurely bouchon meal is a pointed
riposte to the commercial logic that
drives harried workers to gobble
sandwiches at their desks. After all,
what does it profit a man if he gains the
entire world, and loses his lunch hour?
a n a p p e L L at i o n c o n t r L e

system awards a label of authenticity

to certain bouchons. There are
138

OctOber 2016

readers digesT

currently 24 that meet the criteria:

a combination of ambience, a
commitment to traditional Lyon dishes
and high culinary standards. We had
to give up any hope of eating at all
of them. Theres only so much tablier
de sapeura thin square of tripe
breaded and fried like a schnitzel
and coq au vin that you can eat in
a single day. Then there are Lyons
newer maestros, playing variations
on its traditions of excellence: Patrick
Henriroux at Bocuses other alma
mater, La Pyramide; the changing
roster of chefs at Arsenic; the Japaneseinflected dishes of Arai Tsuyoshi at
Au 14 Fvrier; Mathieu Viannay at
Mre Braziers old establishment,
La Mre Brazier.
We did manage to take the children
to La Meunire, a lovely bouchon
on Rue Neuve, one lunchtime. I
was nervous about the culture clash
between French gastronomic hauteur
and wriggly, 21st-century children,
but the whole thing went without a
hitch. It was a success in part because
of the kindness of the matre d, in
part because of the patience of the
two young Frenchwomen who, in
bouchon style, shared our table, but
mainly because I let my son play on
my smartphone for the entire meal.
The kids tried the grattons (deep-fried
pork rinds), loved the bread, sampled
our plates of saucisson and the confit
of lamb shoulder. At the end, we
exchanged friendly au revoirs with our
accidental companions.

r e a d e r s d i g e s T. c o . i n

Travel Tips
GettinG there: Flights to Lyon
are available from indian metros
via major european cities, or take
the two-hour TgV train from Pariss
gare de Lyon, which departs every
30 to 90 minutes.
LodGinG: chteau de Bagnols is a
classic 13th-century chteau-hotel in
Bagnols, outside Lyon; check
chateaudebagnols.com. Mama
shelter offers Lyon Modern high
design in the city centre; check
mamashelter.com.
dininG: caf comptoir abel, 25
rue guynemer, ```. lauberge du
pont de collonges, 40 Quai de la
Plage, Collonges, au Mont dor, ````.
la Mre Brazier, 12 rue royale, ````.
la Meunire, 11 rue Neuve, ```.
arsenic, 132 rue Pierre Corneille, ``.
ShoppinG: March saint-antoine is
a local outdoor market for fresh
produce, Quai st-antoine.
More inforMation:
www.lyon-france.com
pricing key: `` `1,5005,000; ``` `5,000
10,000; ```` more than `10,000

On one of our last evenings,

I returned with my wife to Caf
Comptoir Abel. There was a warm
breeze as we dawdled along the river,
admiring the view of the Basilica of
Notre-Dame de Fourvire on the other
side, and passed the old synagogue on
Quai Tilsitt. I had a salad of crayfish
and slippery green beans, and the
quenelles, and we shared chestnut
sorbet with chocolate sauce. It was
even better than I remembered.
In a world where food has become
mixed up with aspiration, snobbery
and utopianism, Lyon felt like it represented an achievable ideal: a place
still connected to a culinary tradition
that combines thrift, pride, excellence
and sustainability. The lesson of the
city is that food is a daily pleasure to
be shared. It isnt only the chicken in
the pigs bladder that Ill remember:
just as memorable were the Nutella
crpes my children devoured most
afternoons; the snail pt we sampled
in the market; the hot chocolate that
my son drank at breakfast and wore
on his T-shirt all day. Between now
and our next visit, these will be the
meals that linger in the memory; this
was the food that fed our souls.

TRAVEL & LEISURE (NoVeMBer 2014) BY MarCeL TherouX. WWW.TRAVELANDLEISURE.COM

Why do We call iT a BucK?

Because in the 1700s, trappers could sell a single
buckskin for one dollar.
source: Bathroom readers institute

readers digesT

OctOber 2016

139

A Long
WALk
to

Freedom
By E u n su n Kim , with sB asti E n FallE t i
f r om A T h o u sAn d Mi l e s To Fr e e do M

140

october 2016

readers digest

Bonus rEad

We had
nothing to lose.
We were guided by
our instinct for survival
when we closed the
door of our home,
this time forever.

readers digest

october 2016

141

a l o n g Wa l k t o f r e e d o m

For nearly a week I had been alone In our tIny, FreezIng

apartment in eundeok, the town in north korea where i was born. my
parents had sold most of our furniture to buy food. even the
carpeting was gone, so i slept on the cement floor in a makeshift
sleeping bag made from old clothes. the walls were bare, except for
two framed portraits of our eternal President kim il sung and his
son and successor the dear leader kim Jong il. selling these
portraits would have been considered sacrilege, punishable by death.

There was no electricity in our apartment, no heat either. But I hardly felt
the cold because I was completely
exhausted after several days without
eating. I felt like the ground was going
to open up and swallow me, like I was
going to get sucked into the depths
of the earth. I was sure I was about to
die of hunger. I wasnt afraid anymore.
But I didnt want to leave the world
like this, without a trace of myself
left behind.
And so I started to write my last will
and testament.
It was December 1997. And I was
11 years old.
My mother and older sister, Keumsun, had left the apartment six days
before for Rajin-Sonbong, a nearby
city, to try to find food. I wanted my
mother to know that I had waited for

her, and I wanted her to know that I

felt abandoned.
I took out my notebook, crouched
in the twilight and started to write:
Mum, I am waiting for you. I have
been waiting for six days. I feel like I
am going to die soon. Why havent you
come back to me yet?
I started crying as the darkness
of night began to envelop me. I laid
myself down and closed my eyes.
I was sure that I was never going to
wake up again.

singing songs
As a young girl I never could have
imagined that my life would change
so quickly and drastically. Up until I
was nine years old, I was a happy girl.
Eundeok is located in the mountains of north-eastern North Korea,

I felt lIke the ground was goIng to open

up and swallow me, lIke I was goIng to
get sucked Into the depths of the earth.
142

october 2016

readers digest

all IllustratI ons by m I les donovan

r E a d E r s d i g E s t. c o . i n

fewer than 15 kilometres from the

Tumen River, which separates the
country from China and Russia.
During the winter it is cold, and sometimes I walked to school through a
thick fog of white snow. My birthday
was in the summer, the same date
we celebrated the day Korea was
liberated from Japanese rule in 1945.
My birthday was always a happy time.
Although surrounded by factories,
my hometown was not large. The
army had several bases nearby, just
like they do everywhere else in the
country. On the horizon, you could
make out a few trees on the mountains far away, but the nearby hills
were all stripped bare, because the

forests had been razed for firewood.

In the middle of Eundeok flows a
river, with a bridge linking either side.
The biggest buildings in the city were
made of cement and had at most five
floors. There were no advertisements
anywhere. The walls were either bare,
or else plastered with propaganda
praising our Dear Leader Kim Jong
Il and the socialist paradise he had
created for North Korea.
The building in which I lived was
three floors, with cracked walls.
Nevertheless, I felt quite content. My
father would pick me up after school.
Sometimes we would stop by the
street vendors to buy some naengmyeon (cold noodles), or hed take
readers digest

october 2016

143

a l o n g Wa l k t o f r e e d o m

me to the movies, using tickets he got

through his connections working at a
weapons factory. My mother worked
at the hospital, and she sometimes
brought food from the hospital cafeteria which kept us from going hungry.
As a child, I enjoyed school. Mum
would wake us up while it was still
dark out. Id wash and get dressed in
my navy blue skirt, white blouse and
little red scarf that signified membership in the Childrens League. Id

cism sessions that were mandatory for

everyone in the country, whether you
were a factory worker or a student. At
the end of the day each person had to
confess his or her misdeeds in front of
the entire class. I remember one day I
made a critical remark while toiling in
the teachers garden, a task assigned
to the good students.
Whats the point of gathering all
this corn if we wont be able to eat it?
I grumbled.

one day the teacher told us that wed

attend the executIon of a man
guIlty of commIttIng serIous crImes.
meet my friends and wed march to
school singing songs in praise of our
countrys leaders. After the teachers
inspected our uniforms, wed read
about Kim Jong Il. Studying the lives
of our countrys leaders was one of the
most important subjects, along with
mathematics, Korean language arts
and the communist ethic.
We were expected to sit in class
silently. Even the tiniest bit of
disturbance was met with public
humiliation. I never got in trouble, but
in front of the whole class the teacher
would discipline a child by beating
them with her pointer stick.
I was also a good student, but that
didnt excuse me from the self-criti144

october 2016

readers digest

One of my classmates denounced

me, and so the teacher called me over
and sharply rebuked me: That individualistic attitude is unacceptable in
the socialist society of North Korea!

PuddlEs oF Blood
One of my favourite songs was
A Thousand Miles of Learning, which
recounted the young Kim Il Sungs
odyssey across the mountains in
China after he fought the Japanese.
I had no desire to criticize the dictatorship of our leaders. But one
particular event when I was in
primary school started sowing the
seeds of doubt about our country.
One morning the teacher told us that

r E a d E r s d i g E s t. c o . i n

we would attend an important event

in our education: the execution of a
man who was guilty of committing
serious crimes.
The teachers led us downtown.
A crowd gathered near an empty lot,
right next to the main bridge. Since
we were little we were positioned
on top of the bridge. We would get a
clear view of what was happening, so
we wouldnt miss this important
pedagogical lesson.
A car with heavily tinted windows
appeared. Policemen dragged out
several men whose heads and faces
were covered with headscarves.
The crowd started to shiver. After a
symbolic interrogation, the accused
men pitifully admitted their wrongdoings. Afterwards, they were tied to
wooden poles planted along the river.
I didnt understand how they managed to remain so emotionless when
they knew they were about to die.
Then suddenly we heard a
deafening noise. I jumped, startled.
The gunshots seemed to last an
eternity. And then all was quiet
again. Through the plume of smoke I
could make out the puddles of blood,
littered with pieces of flesh. It was
there that I learnt compassion for
others; I felt an immense outpouring
of pity, a feeling of fraternity towards
these men who had been slaughtered
so heartlessly.
After this first terrible ordeal,
I became used to these public
executions. Even so, each time I had

my qualms. I remember a man who

was sent to the execution pole for
having insulted our Great Leader.
He had snatched some bronze
letters off an official inscription
from Kim Jong Il. No doubt the man
had just hoped to ameliorate his
living conditions during the famine
by selling the metal to the Chinese
for a bit of cash. But it was a crime,
punishable by death.

crucial dEcision
Although my body was thin as a twig
on that December evening, I still felt
like I weighed a ton. Id slumped on
to the hard concrete floor as the darkness of night swallowed me. I no
longer had the strength to continue
on. My mum had left me. My body
remained completely still as I heard
footsteps echoing from the staircase.
On that cold December night in 1997,
when I was 11 years old, I knew that I
was going to die before even reaching
adolescence.
Suddenly, a muffled sound reached
my ears. Was I dreaming? I half
opened one of my eyes. A dark silhouette appeared before me, its shadow
growing larger and larger. Frightened,
I lifted myself up to see that the shadowy figure looked familiar. It was my
mother, along with Keumsun right
behind her. I felt a rush of adrenaline
jolt through my body, and my anguish
started to dissipate. I didnt know it
was possible to be as happy as I felt in
that instant.
readers digest

october 2016

145

a l o n g Wa l k t o f r e e d o m

Just a few hours ago I had written my

last will and testament, and now here
was my family. But my joy faded when
I realized that my mother and sister
had come back empty-handed. Mum
looked exhausted and distraught.
She drank a glass of water as her eyes
swept the dark and empty room.
The only thing left for us to
do here is die, she said in a soft,
defeated voice.
Silently, she laid herself down on
the patched-up sleeping bag in the
corner. My sister and I huddled next

just a month ago, it was my fathers

turn. His feeble body had already
weakened visibly since the factories
stopped handing out food rations.
His face sank more and more into his
skull. One night when he was bringing home a load of coal, he collapsed
from fatigue right before our eyes.
Shortly after that he collapsed once
again, and this time he never recovered. We didnt even have the money
for a proper burial. His tomb was just
a hole dug in the mud, marked with a
plank of wood with his name on it so

the only thIng left for us to do here

Is dIe, she saId. my sIster and
I huddled next to her In the dark.
to her. Darkness surrounded us as
I started to fall asleep. We were
famished and helpless, but at least
I wasnt going to die alone.
In the morning we were awoken by
noise from the street, but we didnt
move. Mum was still as a statue. She
was our last hope against the malady
that had struck our country and was
growing worse each day: famine.
Since 1995 my family members had
been slowly dying, one after the other,
and now the three of us were next on
the list. Within a span of two years
my mother had lost my grandmother
and then my grandfather. Then,
146

october 2016

readers digest

he wouldnt be forgotten. A few weeks

later, someone stole the wooden
plank, most likely to use as firewood
people were ready to do just about
anything to ensure their survival.
Now Mum lay motionless on the
makeshift sleeping bag. The trip to
Rajin-Sonbong had been our last
hope. Shed thought that she would
be able to bring us back food, or some
money, and save us all. But this last
attempt had failed.
But now, strangely, I felt like she
was silently devising a plan in her
head. Outside, the sun was already
shining brightly. Suddenly she stood

r E a d E r s d i g E s t. c o . i n

up, a determined look in her eyes. She

had decided to take action.
Slowly, she walked towards the wall
where the portraits of our leaders were
hanging. She stood on her toes, reached
up and took down the portraits of Kim
Il Sung and Kim Jong Il. She carefully
removed the two sacred portraits of
our leaders from their frames. Our two
leaders had watched us day and night
since early childhood, like they did in
every household in North Korea. The
wooden frames were our last sellable
items, but by taking them down my

mum had just committed a crime

punishable by death. She pulled the
frames apart to make sure no one
would figure out where these sticks of
wood had come from. Then, to be safe,
she burnt the photos.
Mum sold the wooden posts from
the frames at the market, and with
the money we were finally able to buy
ourselves a meal. For the first time in
three days I had something to put in
my mouth.
Still, everything was unknown. How
would we survive?
readers digest

october 2016

147

a l o n g Wa l k t o f r e e d o m

As the winter of 19971998 progressed, my mother had no chance

to rest. It was often less than 15C
outside, yet we had no heat for the
apartment. We were desperate for
food. The neighbours said that the
ghost of my father would come back
to try to take my mother with him.
It was then that my mum started
to think about the unthinkable:
fleeing the country. She began planning to escape from North Korea and

to our country. Our concerns at this

point were far from political. We were
guided by our instinct for survival, not
by the idea of revolting against our
regime. Our only goal was to find
food and survive. It was only later,
at the end of our long, perilous journey to freedom, that I understood the
subservience of our lives in North
Korea and began to realize the horrors
of that inhumane regime.
Night was falling over Eundeok.

we had nothIng to lose. so we were

goIng to become defectors, traItors
to our country.
head towards unknown territory to
save herself and her two daughters.
We were going to head to China.

thE FrEEzing rivEr

Eundeok is located just one hour from
the Chinese border, but we had never
imagined taking such a risk. Illegally
crossing this border, which was
patrolled by armed guards, seemed
insane. And yet, there was little
chance for survival here in North
Korea. And friends had told us stories
of families who had escaped into
China and were doing just fine.
My mother was convinced. After all,
we had nothing to lose. So we were
going to become defectors, traitors
148

october 2016

readers digest

Spring was on its way, but I was still

shivering from the cold. Keumsun,
Mum and I slipped outside. Mum
closed the door of our little apartment, this time forever.
I had a small backpack with my
most precious memories, including a photo of my father. My mother
carried an axe and a saw, which she
had borrowed from a friend, saying
she needed to chop some wood. She
was not going to give them back; these
tools would be our way to obtain food
during the journey.
It was pitch-black out when we
reached the village at the Chinese
border, after an hour or so of travel
on the back of a shaky truck. We hid

r E a d E r s d i g E s t. c o . i n

ourselves in the bushes, and in the

darkness I saw a sign that read Tumen River. Beyond the river was
China. Freedomand, what I was
hoping for even more, ricewaited
for us on the other side.
We stayed still and silent for several hours. Mum was calculating how
much time we had between each
coming and going of the patrolmen.
Around midnight, after a patrolman
had just passed, she gave us the
signal. She headed towards the sand,
and Keumsun and I followed. When
we reached the river, my feet sank
into the freezing water. I didnt know
how to swim, but my mum held on to
me tightly.
First, the water reached our knees,
and then right up to my neck. I was so
scared. When Mum realized the river
was too deep for the two of us, we
headed back to the bank on the side
we had just come from.
Mum told us to wait for her while
she crossed the river by herself and
tried to find a path for us. Slowly,
her silhouette became fainter in the
distance. My teeth chattered as I
watched her fade into the darkness.
I was scared she was going to drown
and that wed never see her again. My
heart was pounding.
Suddenly Mum reappeared, dripping wet. Her entire body was shivering, and she could barely walk. She
told us that just a few metres away
from reaching the Chinese side, she
had slipped in the water.

I felt helpless. In the darkness, two

young girls were by themselves, trying
to take care of their mother, drenched
and chilled from the river.
So be it. Lets go to the border
guards, my mum said in defeat.

lEFt For homElEss

The chief of police came to meet us
at the patrol station. Mum told him
we had left our home to chop wood,
hoping to sell it for food, which is
why we had the axe and the saw and
why we were near the river. He didnt
believe us even for a second. But he
brought us some pancakes made of
cornmeal and some milk powder and
let us sleep on the floor.
We were lucky. The next morning
the border official let us leave without
any further questions. But our situation was still quite dire. Going back to
Eundeok was not an option, my mum
decided. Our neighbours knew about
our attempted escape. And besides,
there was no food for us there.
So we instead headed to RajinSonbong. It was raining and we didnt
know where we were going to sleep,
and we were full of gloom. Worst of
all, the photo of my father had been
ruinedit hadnt survived the trip
through the Tumen River. The ink was
smudged and the image of his face
was gone forever.
We wound up at the Rajin port,
where the fishermen unload their
cargoes of crab. We sold the tools
and bought some crab shells. We
readers digest

october 2016

149

a l o n g Wa l k t o f r e e d o m

feasted on the meat without thinking

about our future.
Nobody could help us in Rajin, so
we decided to go to Chongjin where
my mum had some family. We snuck
on to the back of a train and rattled
along for two days, crouching in
corners to avoid the conductors and
the thieves.
When we knocked on the door of
my mothers sister, she was speechless, seeing us like homeless people.
Very quickly, we understood that we
were not welcome. There was no food.
150

october 2016

readers digest

Her husband did not want us around.

And two hours later we were asked
to leave. We went back to the train
station and took the crowded train
heading back north to the desolation
of Rajin-Sonbong.
And so, shamefully, we began our
homeless life. Every night we had
to find new shelter where we could
sleep and escape the foggy rain.
After the merchants left, we would
slip under an awning at the market.
Often an official would come and tell
us to leave. Then wed take shelter

r E a d E r s d i g E s t. c o . i n

in the staircases of nearby buildings.

We went weeks without being able to
bathe. Lice infested our heads and we
scratched at them like monkeys.
When the weather got warmer and
the rain stopped, my mother took us to
the forest to sleep under the stars. We
could bathe in the streams, and collect
wood to sell in town for a few won.
The weather dictated our daily lives.
The day after a sea storm, we headed to
the beach to collect seaweed that had

freeze over, and it would be solid

enough for us to walk across.

a nEw liFE
During that frigid night in February
1999, a pale glow hung over the trees.
The strong winter winds slapped me in
the face. At the top of the hill a wisp of
grey smoke rose up into the air. Since
we needed to get warm, we walked
closer to the smoke.
Around the small fire we were able

the cold provIded us wIth another

opportunIty: the rIver would freeze
over, enough for us to walk across.
washed ashore. We made soup to sell
at the market. At the harbour I fetched
the fish that fishermen threw away.
One afternoon I found an entire
crate of apples, many of them rotten,
abandoned by Chinese merchants.
I took out the ones that were still
fresh, and that afternoon we gorged
on apples.
This lifestyle was exhausting,
however. Spring turned to summer,
and summer to fall. And my mother
realized that there was no future for
us in our country. The first frosts were
starting to trickle in. Soon, it would be
too cold to survive on the streets. But
the cold provided us with another
opportunity: the Tumen River would

to make out two crouched figures: a

man and a young girl. After seeing
how desperate they looked, I thought
maybe they were trying to do the same
thing we wereescape the country.
My mother started talking to the man,
and he confirmed what we suspected.
He was planning to risk it all to leave
North Korea.
The ice is hard enough. Ive seen
people crossing, he told us. But
its better to wait until morning. The
guards dont patrol as much then.
The hill looked out across the Tumen River, a perfect spot to observe the
border guards as they walked back and
forth. Right in front of us, through the
darkness, was China. Our last chance.
readers digest

october 2016

151

a l o n g Wa l k t o f r e e d o m

Hours passed by. My anxiety started

to build. I remembered our previous
failure. What if this time the soldiers
shot us down?
Silently, the five of us headed down
the hill, through the forest, towards
the Tumen. There were no guards in
sight. The man tested the ice using his
feet, to make sure it was really frozen.
The ice appeared solid, covered with
a thin blanket of snow.
We walked single file, several

We had to hurry. Just a few more

metres to go. I caught up to everyone
else and thought we were safe. But in
reality, we were merely on a small islet
on the river. We still had to cross on
the other side where the ice looked
less solid.
We rearranged our order. The young
girl, the lightest, started off, with me
behind her. Timidly, she approached
the ice on the other side of the islet.
Suddenly, we heard a crackling sound.

I caught up to everyone else and

thought we were safe. but we were
merely on a small Islet on the rIver.
metres apart, to spread our weight
evenly along the ice. My mum was
first, followed by Keumsun, then the
man and the girl. I was last.
Behind my back, the ink-black
night looked like it was going to
snatch me away. I imagined a
border guard appearing at any
moment and shooting at us. We only
had about a 100 metres to cross, but it
felt like an eternity.
My heart was pounding. I started
moving faster. Suddenly, I lost my
balance and fell onto the ice. After I
got up, we all walked more slowly, at
a turtles pace, much slower than we
had planned. The light of dawn was
already starting to surface.
152

october 2016

readers digest

The young girl sunk through the ice

right before our eyes.
We started panicking and began
to head back to the islet. Her legs
were submerged up to her knees. She
started screaming.
Have you reached the bottom?
asked her father.
Yes, she responded in a frightened
voice.
So despite the cold, we started
wading through the icy water. We
moved forward just a few more
metres, and my feet touched China.
We had made it. I stopped to catch
my breath, but my wet clothes had
already started to freeze.
We took a few moments of rest,

r E a d E r s d i g E s t. c o . i n

but soon our fears overtook us. We

had to get as far away from the river
as we could, because if the Chinese
police found us, they would send us
right back to North Korea. I didnt
even want to think about the terrible
punishments we would receive if we
were sent back.
Fields of corn stretched as far as
we could see. We had to pass through
these fields as quickly as we could to
reach the hills in the forest. But my leg
was stiff from the cold and I couldnt
run. Using all the strength I had left in
me, I tried to follow my mums pace.
The hills felt so far away.
Finally, after about 10 minutes, we
made it. I collapsed beneath the trees
as the sky began to get light. The sun
was shining. It was my first morning
outside of my home country.
The first dawn of my new life.

The three refugees found temporary

shelter in a nearby Chinese village,
then they were passed off to a Chinese
farmer. The family was forced to toil on
the farm for several years before first
Keumsun, and then Eunsun, were able
to get away to a nearby city where they
found low-level jobs.
Eventually their mother joined them,
and they moved to Shanghai. In 2006,
Eunsun and her mum found their way
to Mongolia, where they were taken
in at the South Korean embassy and
then flown to freedom in Seoul. Keumsun followed them to South Korea two
years later.
Today, at age 31, Eunsun lives with
her husband and baby daughter in
South Korea . She is pursuing a
masters degree and working for an
NGO promoting human rights on the
Korean peninsula.

A ThousAnd Miles To FreedoM by eunsun kim With sbastian falletti, 2012 by ditions michel lafon, english
translation 2015 by david tian. rePrinted With Permission by st. martins Press.

thErE is only onE ...

kosher mcdonalds outside of israel. its in buenos aires, argentina.
ship in the mongolian navy: a tugboat named sukhbaatar iii.
animal whose testimony is admissible in u.s. courts:
the bloodhound.
pig in the entire country of afghanistan.
khanzir (the name is arabic for 'pig') lives in the kabul zoo;
the rest of the nation is pork-free.
readers digest

october 2016

153

Who

KNEW

13 Things
You Should
Know About

Procrastination
By Kati e U n d e rwo o d

Blowing deadlines left and right?

Youre not alone. Up to 20 per
cent of people qualify as chronic
procrastinators. The tendency to put
things off is consistent between sexes
and across cultures.

According to research out of the

University of Colorado Boulder,
the urge to procrastinate is inherited.
You can blame at least some of your
unfinished business on Mum or Dad.

Timothy Pychyl, a psychology

professor at Carleton University
in Ottawa and author of Solving the

154

OctOber 2016

readers digest

Procrastination Puzzle: A Concise

Guide to Strategies for Change, attrib
utes dillydallying to a battle in our
brainsnot gardenvariety laziness.
When evaluating a task, typically we
react with our fightorflight limbic
system. When you think, I dont
want to do that, youre not able to
quickly recruit impulse control.

Even so, Pychyl says that prac

tising mindfulness for as little as
30 minutes a day helps. It can allow
us to better control impulses and
subdue our ancient lizard brains in
the interest of getting things done.

I NDIAP IctUre

The claim some of us use to justify

procrastinatingthat we work
best under pressurehas largely
been refuted. Researchers say its a
way to rationalize bad behaviour. To
curb this habit, try breaking tasks into
steps, accomplishing small parts over
longer periods of time.

have to reach your objective in shorter

units, like days and weeks instead of
months and years. Research shows
itll add urgency to your goal.

10

Precrastinationgetting tasks
done as soon as possible in order
to get them off our platesis also
a thing. Precrastination allows us
to free up space in our working
memories, even if rushing involves
more effort or risk.

Keep it simple. One study out

of Germany demonstrated
that students who thought about
tasks in concrete termslike the
how, where and whenwere more
likely to tackle their todo lists than
abstract thinkers. So try thinking
about when youll go grocery
shopping and which items youll buy
rather than just writing food on
your todo list.

11

Procrastinators are dispropor

tionately more likely to self
report heart disease and hyper
tension, according to a study out
of Bishops University in Sherbooke,
Canada. Lead researcher Fuschia
Sirois says the reasons for the link
are unclear, but she suggests high
levels of stress may cause people to
neglect positive habits like healthy
eating and exercising.

Distractions wont help you focus,

so keep your gadgets out of reach.
According to data from 1,50,000 users
of the Android app Locket, the average
person checks their phone upwards of
110 times daily.

When making longterm plans,

like buying a house or saving for
retirement, measure the time you

Leaning on loved ones can

do more harm than good.
A study from Northwestern and
Duke universities in the US showed
that the physical presence of a
partner lowers our goal orientation
by making us more relaxed and,
therefore, less ambitious.

12

If youre going to shirk work,

avoid your television. Accord
ing to a 2014 German study, people
who watched TV or played video
games to blow off steam reported
increased guilt and feelings of failure
over their choices of diversion.

13

Cat videos are okay, though

theyre linked to elevated
energy levels and a bump in positive
emotions, say researchers at Indiana
University, US. Thanks, Grumpy Cat.
readers digest

OctOber 2016

155

Brain Teasers
Challenge yourself by solving these puzzles and mind-stretchers,
then check your answers below.

Without going
over a line,
trace a path
from the
arrow to
the flag.

Mystery NuMber (Moderately difficult)

The numbers in this table follow a rule. Whats the missing number?

7
2
156

2
12

october 2016

1
8
|

readers digest

3
6

4
2

6
4

(geoma ze) Craig Ka pla n; (m ystery num ber, mi sla belled) m arCel dane si

GeoMaze
(Easy)

Make-a-sHape (Difficult)

Could these pieces be

rearranged, like a jigsaw puzzle,
to make the pentagon below?

Answers

Geomaze

mystery
Number
14. the
sequence on
the bottom
row is made
by multiplying
each number
in the top row
by two, then
arranging
those products in reverse
order from
right to left.

Haves aNd Have-Nots

anuradha, antra, Kaushik
and gunjan have bananas.

Here are three piggy banks, one of

which contains `10. The other two
contain `15 and `20. However, all
three are labelled incorrectly. You
open piggy bank B and find `20
inside. On that basis, can you identify
the contents of each one?

make-a-sHape

Mislabelled (Easy)

mislabelled
Weve seen first-hand that piggy bank b
contains `20. piggy bank a cant contain
`10 because that would mean it was correctly labelled. it must, therefore, contain
`15, leaving piggy bank C to contain `10.

(Haves and Have-nots) da rren ri gby; (m a Ke-a-s Ha pe) m arCel dane si

Haves aNd Have-Nots (Moderately difficult)

There are four bananas and nobody has

or has ever hadmore than one.
n Anuja and Renu either both have a banana
or neither of them has one.
n If Arvin has a banana, then Anuradha
has one.
n Antra, Nayan and Kaushik have two
bananas among them.
n If Gunjan doesnt have a banana, then
neither does Anuja.
n Put together, Renu, Arvin and Anuradha
have an odd number of bananas.
n Nayan gave a banana to Antra.
n Kaushik has just as many bananas
as Gunjan.
So, whos got bananas?

readers digest

october 2016

157

Thats Outrageous!
We live our lives

on screens, constantly
consuming and sharing
news and views online.
This has provided new
spaces for freedom of
expression and given a
voice to the unheard. But
in recent times, the
medium has regressed
into a virtual street, where
heckling and harassment
abound. Everyone is fair game.
However, as the online world mirrors
the real, those perceived as
soft targetswomen and children
are most vulnerable.
The playground bully has a
wider platform now. In a survey
commissioned by Microsoft across
25 countries, 53 per cent of children in
India, aged eight to 17, said they were
subjected to a range of activities that
can be considered online bullying.
India reports the third highest
incidence of bullying. This, despite the
prevalence of formal school policies
(38 per cent against 23 per cent in the
surveyed countries).
With women, however, online abuse
is on another level. Any woman with
a degree of social media presence
can be a target, with rampant and
relentless abuse. Activists, journalists,
158

october 2016

readers digest

authors, even Bollywood

actors are not spared.
The trolls channel their
disagreement with a
womans point of view
by issuing violent
threats, including public
lynching and rape.
But what does the law
say? Pavan Duggal,
advocate, Supreme
Court of India, says that
the Information Technology (IT) Act,
2000 no longer defines the parameters
of cyberbullying. Currently, there is
no law which protects us against it.
Earlier, the IT Act had a specific
provisionSection 66A, drafted in very
wide terms so as to include a variety of
acts that constituted cyberbullying. But
in March 2015, the Supreme Court
scrapped it, as it was seen as a violation
of fundamental rights, he says.
Cyberbullying does pose a significant
institutional challenge, as it is
intimidation from a distance. Therefore, as Duggal says, specific legislative
provisions are a must, targeting and
mandating all intermediaries and
service providers to respond to cases
in a time-bound manner.
Its the only way to take back
the internet.
Naorem aNuja

in di api cture

Cyberbullying

it pays to enrich your

Word Power
Say is a versatile verb, but there are plenty of other options
waiting to be heard. Take this quiz to fill your vocabulary with
alternate ways of describing speech.
By Sam anth a Rid eo ut

1. animadvert (anim-ad-vert)
A: speak out against something.
B: advertise through word of mouth.
C: use a gentle tone.
2. parry (par-ry)A: repeat.
B: wonder aloud. C: skilfully evade
a question.
3. asseverate (ass-ever-ate)
A: declare emphatically.
B: make a counterargument.
C: insult viciously.
4. concede (cun-seed)A: whine.
B: grudgingly admit. C: explain a plan.
5. repine (re-pine)A: say with a

yawn. B: express discontent.

C: contemplate.
6. jape (jayp)A: mock. B: talk with
food in ones mouth. C: boast.
7. calumniate (ca-lum-ni-ate)

9. inveigle (in-vee-gle)A: invoke

supernatural beings. B: encourage

someone to break the law.
C: persuade with deception or
flattery.
10. ratiocinate (ra-ti-o-ci-nate)
A: reason logically. B: provide feedback. C: pronounce a judgement.
11. philippize (philip-ize)
A: advocate under the influence
of corruption. B: console.
C: convey unwelcome news.
12. importune (im-por-tune)

A: recite a poem. B: offer assistance.

C: request persistently.
13. upbraid (up-braid)

A: describe enthusiastically.
B: gossip behind someones back.
C: scold.

A: agree without thinking. B: make a

false and defamatory statement.
C: take an unlikely guess.

14. ballyhoo (bali-hoo)

A: praise extravagantly. B: shout
hoarsely. C: gloat.

8. perorate (pair-o-rate)

15. quaver (kwe-ver)A: whisper.

A: threaten. B: deliver a long speech.

C: mumble nervously.

B: ask a rhetorical question.

C: speak with a trembling voice.
readers digest

october 2016

159

word power

answers
1. animadvert[A] speak out

against something. First Nations

leaders animadverted upon the
pipelines threat to the watershed.
2. parry[C] skilfully evade a

question. Do you want someone

experienced or someone capable?
parried the candidate when asked
about her employment history.
3. asseverate[A] declare emphat-

ically. Cayman was a bad juror;

he believed everything the witness
asseverated, no matter how absurd.
4. concede[B] grudgingly admit.
I guess my trainer was right when
she said I wasnt ready for a marathon, conceded Deepika.
5. repine[B] express discontent.
During lunch breaks, Sharads coworkers would listen to him repine
over having left his village.

deception or flattery. Cant you

inveigle any celebrities to attend
my party? pleaded the socialite.
10. ratiocinate[A] reason
logically. Actions are motivated
by desires, so morality cant be
based on reason alone, Hume
ratiocinated.
11. philippize[A] advocate
under the influence of corruption.
Pavithra suspected the governor
was philippizing when he praised
the local factorys safety record.
12. importune[C] request
persistently. Tired of hearing
his kids importuning him to
bring them to Disney World,
Kumar gave in.
13. upbraid[C] scold. Lola
upbraided her sister for having
called their mother a cheapskate.

6. jape[A] mock. Sofia pre-empted

14. ballyhoo[A] praise

any japing about her ears by calling

herself the love child of Prince
Charles and Mr Spock.

extravagantly. Priyas boyfriend

ballyhooed her homemade lasagna
so much that she wondered if he
was teasing her.

7. calumniate[B] make a false and

defamatory statement. Hoping to

snag Hemas job for himself, Rahul
calumniated her as a thief.
8. perorate[B] deliver a long
speech. The conference delegates
sighed with relief when the organizer
finished perorating.
9. inveigle[C] persuade with
160

october 2016

readers digest

15. quaver[C] speak with a

trembling voice. Do I have to

read my book report aloud to
the class? the child quavered.
VocaBulaRy RatingS

710: fair
1112: good
1315: excellent

Entertainment
our best picks of the Month

Movie
of the
Month

booK coVer coUrteSY: JUGGerNAUt

Films

October is a big month for Bollywood

with three mega movies hitting the
theatres during the festival season. There
is Karan Johars romance opus Ae Dil Hai
Mushkil with Aishwarya Rai Bachchan,
Ranbir Kapoor, Anushka Sharma and
Fawad Khan. Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra
returns with Mirzya, a tale of star-crossed
lovers, and then there is Ajay Devgns
action-packed Shivaay.
Hollywood is bringing back scary
Samara with Rings, the third instalment
of the horror franchise Ring. If this isnt
exciting enough, Tom Hanks returns as
symbology professor Robert Langdon,
racing to solve yet another riddle in
Inferno. There is also Tim Burtons
dark fantasy adventure Miss Peregrines
Home for Peculiar Children. So bring out
the popcorn!

Books

Book lovers, get set. Juggernaut

pulled off a literary coupSuketu
Mehta is back from a 12-year
hiatus with What is Remembered,
a novella exploring the immigrant
experience and the value of
memories. Manju Kapur returns
with Brothers, which traces the
lives of the Gaina family against
the backdrop of the Indian freedom struggle and the Emergency
era. Also out is a reprint of
V.S. Naipauls The Indian Trilogy.
Classic and controversial, these
travelogues are an honest look at
the authors experiences of India.
Look forward to the beautifully
illustrated Ramayana, Arshia
Sattars retelling of the Valmiki
Ramayana, for children.

readers digest

october 2016

161

e n t e r ta i n M e n t

Television

GAMING

its all about virtual reality,

folks! the long-awaited
playstation Vr, the virtual
reality system for playstation
4 is finally hitting the stores.
this gleaming gadget will
bring to life games and their
worlds while thrusting you
right into the action. We cant
wait to try it! especially
Batman: Arkham VR that will
let you don the cape and
transform into the bat himself.
(Finally! I am Batman.) also
releasing is the new game,
WWe 2k17. then there is Rise
of the Tomb Raider:
20 Year Celebration, letting
you relive Lara croft in all her
ass-kicking glory.

For TV buffs, fall looks glorious! All your

favourite shows are returning, whether it
is the zombies of The Walking Dead, The
Mindy Project, or the superheroes Arrow
and The Flash. Supernatural, the tale of
the demon-hunting brothers and their
angel sidekick, returns as well with
season 12. Also out on Netflix is Black
Mirror, exploring the modern world and
its troubled relationship with technology.
Each episode brings us a chilling story
of a possible semi-dystopian world. Our
beloved Matt LeBlanc from Friends
returns with a new sitcom, Man With a
Plan, that finds him doing the most
difficult job of all, parenting three young
children. Sadly, though, it is time to say
goodbye to the Salvatore brothers, as The
Vampire Diaries goes into its final season.

Supernatural: Saving people,

hunting things. The family business.
compiled by Naorem aNuja

162

october 2016

readers digest

im age cOurtesy: sanjay bhattacharya

Studio

The exisTence of Power

by Sanjay bhattacharya, 60 in 20 in, oil on canvaS, 2010
the composition depicts the khadga or the sword of goddess Kali, symbolic of her
cutting the knots of ignorance and worldliness of the devotee, and clearing the
darkness of delusions. the hands of Kali, held in the abhaya and varada mudras,
indicate the dispelling of fear and bestowing of boons, respectively. as the
supreme deity who draws together the active and passive aspects of time into
a unified whole, Kali is also known as Kalasamkarshini.
the artist, sanjay Bhattacharya, lives and works in delhi and is known to paint
in oil, watercolour and acrylic. His art often portrays themes from daily life and
religious iconography, as well as realistic portraiture and surrealistic imagery.
readers digest

OctOber 2016

163

Quotable Quotes
Whats the world
for if you cant
make it up the
way you want it?
to n i M o r r i so n , n o v e l i s t

barns burnt
downnow
I can see
the moon.
M izu ta M a sa H i d e ,

Japanese poet

People get stuck simply because

theyre stuck telling a story about
why theyre stuck.

Discipline
equals
freedom.
j o c ko wi lli n k ,

Books are no more

threatened By kindle than
stairs By elevators.
s te p H e n f ry, a c t o r

Most of the time I feel

entirely unqualified to be
a parent. I call these times
being awake.
j i M Ga f f i Ga n , c o m e d i a n

Life should be great

rather than long.

B. r. aMBedk ar,

social reformer and principal

architect of the Constit ution of India

Let not thy winged days be spent

in vain. When once gone no gold
can buy them back again.
a . p. j . a B d u l k a l a M , f o r m e r P r e s i d e n t o f I n d i a

164

| october 2016 | rEADErS DIGESt

f rom top: f rAN CoI S DUrA ND/GEttY ImAGES; I NDIAp I CtUrE; Am It KUm Ar

H e atH e r H av r i le s k y, a d v i c e c o l u m n i s t

retired Nav y SE A L