Marriage Indonesian-style

Level 3 Advanced
1 Key Words
Fill in the gaps in the sentences with the words below.
icker

affection

disinclined

deter

conviction

cuddle up

disobedient

1. If you do something with

cajole

perpetuate

widower

,youdoitwiththefeelingorappearanceofbeingcondentor

certain about it.

2. A

person deliberately does the opposite of what someone in authority has told them to do.

3. A

is a man whose wife has died.

4. A

is a small, sudden movement.

5. If you are
6.

to do something, you are unwilling to do it.

is a feeling of liking and caring about someone

7. If you

a process or a situation, you make it continue.

8. If you

to someone, you sit or lie with your body against theirs because you want to feel

warm, protected or loved.

9. If you

someone into doing something, you persuade them to do it by encouraging them

gently or being nice to them.

10. When something

you from doing something, it makes you decide not to do it.

2 True or False?
Decidewhetheryouthinkthesestatementsaretrueorfalseandthenreadthearticletoseeifyour
predictions were correct.
1. Arranged marriages are commonplace in Indonesia.
2. Disasters like the tsunami are reducing the numbers of arranged marriages.
3. The tradition of arranged marriages is likely to die out soon.
4. Divorce rates are rising in Indonesia.
5. When a woman dies, their older sister often marries the widower.

Ido(notknowwhoyouare)
Indonesianparentsstillpickchildrensmarriagepartners
By John Aglionby in Bumi Agung

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When Tri Cayono and Yanti caught sight of each other, their reactions were hardly what one would expect from
twopeopleontheirweddingday.Yantigreetedherfuturehusbandwithahandshakeandthemerestickerof
a smile. He gave a nod and moved on. The affection level barely rose throughout the evening. Yanti and Tri did

Marriage Indonesian-style
Level 3 Advanced
notkiss.Theyweredisinclinedtocuddleup,evenwhencajoledbythephotographer.Thisreectsthe
traditions that persist in many parts of Indonesia. Not only had Yanti, 22, a restaurant cook, and Tri, 24, a
farmer, just met, they barely knew anything about each other. Er, what does he like to do in his spare time?
Yanti asked a cousin the day before the wedding.
Two months ago Tri announced he wanted to marry a girl from central Java. I think theyre cooler and
more fun, he said. That he did not know any did not deter him. When an acquaintance, Fajar, said he had
a cousin, Mursiyati, who might be appropriate, Tri accepted immediately. Pressured by her parents into
accepting Tris offer - his possession of a 11/4-acre (0.5 hectare) farm being a tempting prospect for her
labourer father - Mursiyati agreed to the match. A month later Mursiyati met someone she liked and married
her new boyfriend instead. But Tri was still determined to marry a central Java woman and Fajar felt he had
to provide one.
So early in June the family came up with Yanti, a cousin. Again land proved the crucial factor. As soon as
I heard her voice, saw her photo and learnt she was a cook, I knew that she was the woman for me, Tri
said, without conviction. Yanti said she was happy and excited at the prospect of marrying Tri, but her
father, Saulusmin, was not. I mean they havent even met - how can they get married? he said. But he did
not dare to stand up to his wife, Gina. She would have got so angry with me if Id objected it would not have
been pleasant, Saulusmin said.
It is impossible to know how many Indonesians end up in such marriages. Saman, the cleric who married
Yanti and Tri, said extreme stories such as theirs, where the couple had not met, comprised perhaps 1% of
marriages. But there are many where the children do what theyre told, he said. Tini, a maid in Jakarta who
ran away after her parents tried to force her, at the age of 15, to marry a 28-year-old, reckons about a third
of all unions in her district are undertaken without full consent.
World Vision, an international aid agency, describes the practice as still common and experts say it is
unlikely to die out soon. Its the tradition and its hard to go against traditions, said Gadis Arivia, of the
womens group Jurnal Perempuan. Parents dont believe in modern practices, particularly when they see
divorce rates going up. On the daughters part if you obey your parents you are supported. The disobedient
ones have a much harder life.
Indonesiasstringofrecentnaturaldisastersandcommunalconictshavealsoperpetuatedthetradition,
said Samsidar, a commissioner of the National Commission for Violence Against Women. Its traditional
in situations where women have died for their younger sisters to look after their children, and this usually
means they have to marry the widower, she said. There is also a strong economic side to it. After
somethinglikethetsunamimanypeoplewereinaverybadwaynancially,Samsidarsaid.Sowesaw
a lot of people hurrying to marry off their children to make their own lives that much easier.

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Back in Bumi Agung, Yanti was continuing to put a brave face on it. As long as I dont have to go to work
again - its his job to provide for me - and can have a couple of children, then Ill be happy, she said.
And Ill probably be able to come back and visit once a year.

Marriage Indonesian-style
Level 3 Advanced
3

ComprehensionCheck

Choose the best answer according to the text.

1. When Tri and Yanti saw each other at their wedding
a. they were overjoyed to see each other
b. they didnt acknowledge each others presence
c. they greeted each other in a rather formal way
2. Tri didnt marry his friends cousin because
a. her father said his farm wasnt big enough
b. she decided to marry someone else
c. she wasnt from central Java
3. Yanti put a brave face on things. This means:
a. she tried to hide the fact that she was disappointed
b. she was enthusiastic
c. she was optimistic about the future
4.Whathastheeffectofnaturaldisastersandcommunalconictsbeen?
a. they have resulted in a continuation of the tradition of arranged marriages
b. they have resulted in a reduction in the number of arranged marriages
c. they have resulted in a sharp increase in the number of arranged marriages

Vocabulary Find the word

Findthewordthatmeans:
1. another word for hardly (para 1)
2. a word that means attractive and making you want to have it (para 2)
3. another word for most important (para 3)
4. a general word for priest (para 4)
5. another word for permission (para 4)

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6. another word for series (para 6)

Marriage Indonesian-style
Level 3 Advanced
5

Vocabulary

Phrasal verbs

Matchthephrasalverbswiththeirmeanings.
1. come up with

a. not allow yourself to be bullied by someone else

2. stand up to

b. care for

3. end up

c. produce or provide something that someone else wants

4. die out

d. oppose

5.goagainst

e.ndoneselfnallyinaparticularsituation

6. look after

f. become less common and then disappear completely

7. marry off

g. secretly leave a place because you are not happy there

8.runaway

Vocabulary

h.ndahusbandorwifeforsomeone

Prepositions

Fillthegapsinthesephrasesusingprepositions.Checkyouranswersinthetext.
1. catch sight
2.

full consent

3. believe
4. provide
5. violence
6.

conviction

Discussion

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Doyouagreewiththeideaofarrangedorforcedmarriages?Makealistofpointsforandagainstthepractice.