2

AABDUCTION

ABDUCTIONABORTION

language in blocking humans from intercourse

with wisdom.

abdication (ab di ca shun) n.

The refusal of a human to wear an absurd spiky
hat to work. See King; Queen.

a, A (a) n. I command that all Demons

loathe the humans premiere letter, the despicable mammary from which oozes the pap of
human writing. See Literature.

abandonment

(a ban don
ment) n. The recurring, whining complaint of
humans to their Mythic God (q.v.).
Commentary by Asmo Deus: Since
deaths resulting from the abandonment of
children is legal homicide, the attorneys of
Hell extrapolate a class-action suit1 leveled
by Mankind against their Mythic Redeemer,
the charge being the brutal and premeditated
mass-abandonment and the resulting massmurder of trillions of pathetic humans since
their unasked-for creation.

abbreviation (a bre ve a shun)

n. The convenient distilling of concepts down

to simplistic scratchings on paper. Language is
the fundamental form of human abbreviation.
The inability of most humans to think symbolically (see Fundamentalism) is assisted by
1
ED. NOTE: Designated in court records as
Humanity vs. The Creator, City of Hell Court Docket
16-B6611-F.

Areas to Gut and Disgorge.

Note: Excellent Stuffed in a Sub Sandwich

abdomen

(ab do men) n. The

pocket of human organs deemed the most disgusting by humans, yet the most delicious by
Demons. See Guts, Intestine.

abduction (ab duk shun) n. The

opposite of abandonment, and the only other
crime (with Abandonment, q.v.) of which
Mankind accuses God. See Kidnapper.
Commentary by Asmo Deus: Referring
to an incarnation of Mankind eons ago, the
Attorneys of Hell tell of an ancient lawsuit
between primitive Man and their mythic
God. The human plaintiffs argued that their
human form was without their consent
shaped from essences and energies abducted
from the primal stuff of the Cosmos. In their
deposition, the human plaintiffs argued that
previous to their abduction and being forced

to incarnate, they experienced

the bliss of existing as etheric
plasma; further, that they were
reshaped without permission
into the most humiliating
lifeform in the Cosmos -Humanity.
Unfortunately,
this
ancient human case was
dismissed
when,
after
attempting to select a jury of
their mythic Gods peers, it was
found that their God had no
peer. The Attorneys of Hell, on
behalf of Lord Satan, appealed
this decision.

Abra Kadab The Despised Demon of Earth

abortion (a bor shun) n. The

killing of a fetus with a vacuum cleaner.2
Commentary
by Lilith: Although
the killing of any
human at any stage
of development is to
be encouraged, it is
interesting to note
that confused and
mincing
humanity
alternately whines or
Friend of the Fetus
gloats that the killing
of a fetus with a vacuum cleaner is murder
(q.v.) and that the killing of an enemy fetus
with a bomb is patriotism. (q.v.)

bra adab (a bra ka dab) p.

The infamous pioneer Demon who first explored, mapped and shaped the strange hu2
NOTE BY BAAL ZEBUB: Notably, earths
political movement to make abortions readily available
to females has been secretly financed by leading vacuum
cleaner companies.

man-infested environs of Earth-Density. A flying, shape-changing Demon versed in Ancient

Black Magic, Kadab genetically engineered
primitive humankind, devising an ingenious
technique to make the noxious human race edible (see Earth; Humanity).
Kadab was known for popping a human
into his mouth at sub-quantum-speed, and
then telling the dullard human spectators
that the victim magically disappeared. Abra
Kadabra.
In ancient times, Kadab hollowed out
the Earths center and homesteaded there for
eons, keeping a journal on the stalking and
eating of humans throughout history, now
reputedly in the possession of a puerile human
organization known as the Spiritual Security
Agency (q.v.). Kadab, inventor of the Umbrella
and conjurer of the legendary Wheel of Kadab
(q.v.), spends winters in an underwater Palace
in an area known as the Bermuda Triangle
(q.v.). Abra Kadabs monographs on Mankind
include Techniques of Stalking and Eating
Humans; The Negro Groin - Scrotum Surprise
Feeds Eight; Methods of Canning Human Pus;
and Dicing and Slicing Orphaned Children.
See Earth; Photosynthesis;
Security Agency; Wheel of Kadab.

Spiritual

AABDUCTION

ABDUCTIONABORTION

language in blocking humans from intercourse

with wisdom.

abdication (ab di ca shun) n.

The refusal of a human to wear an absurd spiky
hat to work. See King; Queen.

a, A (a) n. I command that all Demons

loathe the humans premiere letter, the despicable mammary from which oozes the pap of
human writing. See Literature.

abandonment

(a ban don
ment) n. The recurring, whining complaint of
humans to their Mythic God (q.v.).
Commentary by Asmo Deus: Since
deaths resulting from the abandonment of
children is legal homicide, the attorneys of
Hell extrapolate a class-action suit1 leveled
by Mankind against their Mythic Redeemer,
the charge being the brutal and premeditated
mass-abandonment and the resulting massmurder of trillions of pathetic humans since
their unasked-for creation.

abbreviation (a bre ve a shun)

n. The convenient distilling of concepts down

to simplistic scratchings on paper. Language is
the fundamental form of human abbreviation.
The inability of most humans to think symbolically (see Fundamentalism) is assisted by
1
ED. NOTE: Designated in court records as
Humanity vs. The Creator, City of Hell Court Docket
16-B6611-F.

Areas to Gut and Disgorge.

Note: Excellent Stuffed in a Sub Sandwich

abdomen

(ab do men) n. The

pocket of human organs deemed the most disgusting by humans, yet the most delicious by
Demons. See Guts, Intestine.

abduction (ab duk shun) n. The

opposite of abandonment, and the only other
crime (with Abandonment, q.v.) of which
Mankind accuses God. See Kidnapper.
Commentary by Asmo Deus: Referring
to an incarnation of Mankind eons ago, the
Attorneys of Hell tell of an ancient lawsuit
between primitive Man and their mythic
God. The human plaintiffs argued that their
human form was without their consent
shaped from essences and energies abducted
from the primal stuff of the Cosmos. In their
deposition, the human plaintiffs argued that
previous to their abduction and being forced

to incarnate, they experienced

the bliss of existing as etheric
plasma; further, that they were
reshaped without permission
into the most humiliating
lifeform in the Cosmos -Humanity.
Unfortunately,
this
ancient human case was
dismissed
when,
after
attempting to select a jury of
their mythic Gods peers, it was
found that their God had no
peer. The Attorneys of Hell, on
behalf of Lord Satan, appealed
this decision.

Abra Kadab The Despised Demon of Earth

abortion (a bor shun) n. The

killing of a fetus with a vacuum cleaner.2
Commentary
by Lilith: Although
the killing of any
human at any stage
of development is to
be encouraged, it is
interesting to note
that confused and
mincing
humanity
alternately whines or
Friend of the Fetus
gloats that the killing
of a fetus with a vacuum cleaner is murder
(q.v.) and that the killing of an enemy fetus
with a bomb is patriotism. (q.v.)

bra adab (a bra ka dab) p.

The infamous pioneer Demon who first explored, mapped and shaped the strange hu2
NOTE BY BAAL ZEBUB: Notably, earths
political movement to make abortions readily available
to females has been secretly financed by leading vacuum
cleaner companies.

man-infested environs of Earth-Density. A flying, shape-changing Demon versed in Ancient

Black Magic, Kadab genetically engineered
primitive humankind, devising an ingenious
technique to make the noxious human race edible (see Earth; Humanity).
Kadab was known for popping a human
into his mouth at sub-quantum-speed, and
then telling the dullard human spectators
that the victim magically disappeared. Abra
Kadabra.
In ancient times, Kadab hollowed out
the Earths center and homesteaded there for
eons, keeping a journal on the stalking and
eating of humans throughout history, now
reputedly in the possession of a puerile human
organization known as the Spiritual Security
Agency (q.v.). Kadab, inventor of the Umbrella
and conjurer of the legendary Wheel of Kadab
(q.v.), spends winters in an underwater Palace
in an area known as the Bermuda Triangle
(q.v.). Abra Kadabs monographs on Mankind
include Techniques of Stalking and Eating
Humans; The Negro Groin - Scrotum Surprise
Feeds Eight; Methods of Canning Human Pus;
and Dicing and Slicing Orphaned Children.
See Earth; Photosynthesis;
Security Agency; Wheel of Kadab.

Spiritual

ACADEMYADDRESS

ADULTAGREEMENT

adult (u dult) n. A human ripe to

academy (u ca du mee) n. Institu-

commit atrocities and pay taxes.

tion in which wealthy human children spend

four years learning the cycle of engorging
themselves on alcohol and vomiting in toilets.

advertising (ad ver ti zing) n.

The seductive lie that dull, neutral chemicals
possess intense sex appeal. See Hypnotism;
Glamour.

Actors Simulating Human Existence

actor

(ak ter) n. 1. A human pretending to be real. 2. That which transforms

reality into a sitcom.

Commentary by Ahriman: The most

highly extolled product of modern human
technological civilization is Coca-Cola, a
liquid mixture of sugar, artificial coloring
and carbonated water. The advertising of this
valueless product has successfully imprinted
its symbology on human brains as divine,
orgasmic and the stuff of life itself. As a result,
this murky, tawdry, artificial fluid is revered
by the human dunces as a Divine Tonic of the
Gods.

intensity of Hunger, demons should refrain

from boiling black flesh in the blood of South
African Caucasians. Although rich in chemical
toxins, the blood of this inbred tribe has an
acrid metallic taste as a result of constantly
fondling bars of gold.

age (aj) n. That which may be

determined by severing a humans neck and
counting the epidermal rings. See Old Age.
agnosticism (ag no sti si zum)
n. The faculty by which humans intuit that I,
Satan, rule the Cosmos. This intuition in humans is tempered by creeping doubts which
occur when that rare Good Thing happens to
them. See Philosophy

Hideous Vibration Weapon

aeronautics (ar o no tix) n.

The science of crashing planes.

accordion (a cor dee en) n. Al-

pine torture device.3

acne (ak nee) n. When devouring the

human face, a delightful natural spice.

acre (a ker) n. That which supplies a

17,18: L arynx Polyp

Makes Delectable Snack

mass grave.

3
NOTE BY MEPHIS TOPHIEL: The
accordion (along with the bagpipe [q.v.]) was invented
by Demons and introduced into Earth-Density to
torture Mankind in an attempt to drive them mad.
Unexpectedly, the idiot humans were more adaptable
than had been previously imagined possible; for not
only did they grow to enjoy the caustic wheedling
and screeching of these torture devices, but they even
organized and promoted Festivals of Masochism called
Folk Festivals.

dam s apple (a damz a pul)

n. Polyp of meat located over the larynx of the
human male, selectively evolved by Demonic
Human Breeders to be breaded and fried as a
crunchy party hors doeuvre.
address (a dress) n.Logistical reference which humans require for the efficient
delivery of pornography.

frica (a
fri ka) p. Continent
infested with warring
tribes
of
blackskinned bird-brains.
Admirably, however,
tribal chieftains on
Africas Gold Coast
(q.v.) supplied white-skinned slave traders
with thousands of African women and children
in exchange for gold, candy and spats.
Commentary by Behemoth: When hunting
humans, Africa is recommended for its supply of
large, succulent Negro buttocks and phalluses
which, when boiled in Caucasian blood, create
a novel flavor prized by the Tastebuds of Hell.
Note, however, that regardless of the

The Smiles of Deceit

agreement (u gree ment) n. An

accord reached when humans believe they have
successfully cheated each other. See Contract;
Handshake.

ACADEMYADDRESS

ADULTAGREEMENT

adult (u dult) n. A human ripe to

academy (u ca du mee) n. Institu-

commit atrocities and pay taxes.

tion in which wealthy human children spend

four years learning the cycle of engorging
themselves on alcohol and vomiting in toilets.

advertising (ad ver ti zing) n.

The seductive lie that dull, neutral chemicals
possess intense sex appeal. See Hypnotism;
Glamour.

Actors Simulating Human Existence

actor

(ak ter) n. 1. A human pretending to be real. 2. That which transforms

reality into a sitcom.

Commentary by Ahriman: The most

highly extolled product of modern human
technological civilization is Coca-Cola, a
liquid mixture of sugar, artificial coloring
and carbonated water. The advertising of this
valueless product has successfully imprinted
its symbology on human brains as divine,
orgasmic and the stuff of life itself. As a result,
this murky, tawdry, artificial fluid is revered
by the human dunces as a Divine Tonic of the
Gods.

intensity of Hunger, demons should refrain

from boiling black flesh in the blood of South
African Caucasians. Although rich in chemical
toxins, the blood of this inbred tribe has an
acrid metallic taste as a result of constantly
fondling bars of gold.

age (aj) n. That which may be

determined by severing a humans neck and
counting the epidermal rings. See Old Age.
agnosticism (ag no sti si zum)
n. The faculty by which humans intuit that I,
Satan, rule the Cosmos. This intuition in humans is tempered by creeping doubts which
occur when that rare Good Thing happens to
them. See Philosophy

Hideous Vibration Weapon

aeronautics (ar o no tix) n.

The science of crashing planes.

accordion (a cor dee en) n. Al-

pine torture device.3

acne (ak nee) n. When devouring the

human face, a delightful natural spice.

acre (a ker) n. That which supplies a

17,18: L arynx Polyp

Makes Delectable Snack

mass grave.

3
NOTE BY MEPHIS TOPHIEL: The
accordion (along with the bagpipe [q.v.]) was invented
by Demons and introduced into Earth-Density to
torture Mankind in an attempt to drive them mad.
Unexpectedly, the idiot humans were more adaptable
than had been previously imagined possible; for not
only did they grow to enjoy the caustic wheedling
and screeching of these torture devices, but they even
organized and promoted Festivals of Masochism called
Folk Festivals.

dam s apple (a damz a pul)

n. Polyp of meat located over the larynx of the
human male, selectively evolved by Demonic
Human Breeders to be breaded and fried as a
crunchy party hors doeuvre.
address (a dress) n.Logistical reference which humans require for the efficient
delivery of pornography.

frica (a
fri ka) p. Continent
infested with warring
tribes
of
blackskinned bird-brains.
Admirably, however,
tribal chieftains on
Africas Gold Coast
(q.v.) supplied white-skinned slave traders
with thousands of African women and children
in exchange for gold, candy and spats.
Commentary by Behemoth: When hunting
humans, Africa is recommended for its supply of
large, succulent Negro buttocks and phalluses
which, when boiled in Caucasian blood, create
a novel flavor prized by the Tastebuds of Hell.
Note, however, that regardless of the

The Smiles of Deceit

agreement (u gree ment) n. An

accord reached when humans believe they have
successfully cheated each other. See Contract;
Handshake.

AAVATAR

agriculture (a gri kul cher) n.

The human science of evenly dispersing DDT

into the water table.

air (ar) n. 1. Diffused human flatulence. 2. Hated gas which Mankind dedicates
its technology to eradicate.

Human-Crushing Machine

airplane (ar plan) n. That which,

on a good day, crushes humans against a mountain.4
alchemy (al ke me) n. 1. The pro-

cess of transmuting one illusory form into another.

AAVATAR

(See Elimination.) Humans also transmute

food into the energy used to create and maintain
thought, and thus Mankind is the ungainly, if
not repulsive, meat machine for alchemically
transmuting the immaterial from the material.

ll ools ay (ol foolz da) n.

A human holiday which is named after the only
human truth.

Commentary by Zyk: Regarding the

alchemical transubstantiation of All and
Nothing and the equality of form versus form
in the World of Humans, I offer the following
crapulous elegy:
Like swan and cygnet, spark and sun
Man and infant are but one
Like brain to body, blood to heart
Man and seed are but a part
As earth is dirt and flower is germ
So all is atoms and man is worm
As steam to ice and bread to crust
So truth to man and man to dust
As all and nothing form a circle vicious
Mans flesh is all and nothing but delicious

alcoholic

(al ko hol ik) n. See

Newspaperman.

alcoholism (al ko hol ik) n. See

Journalism.

alcohol (al ca hol) n. A

hallucinatory escape hatch through which a
human escapes from the Unspeakable Prison
of Himself. See Liquor.
Commentary by Lilith:
Alcohol has supreme value
to Mankind. Killing brain
cells and deadening their
tiny intellects, it allows
humans to forget that they
are absurd, half-conscious
specks flitting for an instant
betwixt a grotesque birth
and deathbed putrefaction.
See Brewery.

Commentary by Asmo Deus: The science

of Alchemy in the disgusting human body
constitutes the transmuting of sweet-smelling
foodstuffs into ghastly-smelling excretions.
4
NOTE BY AHRIMAN: Upon observing
an airplane about to crush its passengers against a
mountain range, the Invading Demon is encouraged
to Possess one of the human passengers in order to
experience the delightful vivacity of mindless human
terror.*

NOTE BY BELIAL: As might be expected

of One who is blind to practicality, Ahriman neglected
to warn of a disgusting physical side effect of human
terror; for in this instance, the Demon possessing a
human body should be prepared for the gauche spewing
of effluents from the absurd human bowels and bladder.

The Only Escape

for Humans

ale (al) n. Beverage used by human ath-

letes in the Sport of Wife-Beating.

alimony

(a li mo nee) n. A fee
generally paid by a male human for the right to
spew sexual fluids upon anyone save his wife.
See Divorce.

allegory (a la gor ee) n. An extended metaphor. For example, a tale of a flesheating bacteria slowly eating its way across the
human body is an allegory for Mankinds diseased civilization slowly eating its way across
the earth.

merica (a mer i ka) n. A cult of

Caucasian invaders who usurped vast tracts of
North America for the purpose of transforming all of its natural artifacts into swill. To their
further cvredit, the American morons (q.v.)
displayed a unique sense of humor by addicting
the conquered natives to alcohol before imprisoning them in scenic death camps. (See Indian
Reservations.)

Commentary by Ahriman:
This fascinating, ruthless cult first gained
prominence on earth by introducing an
amazingly addictive drug called nicotine to
Europe. The profits from this addictive drug
enabled the American invaders to finance their
own nation on the vast tracts of stolen land.
When enterprising humans in
Great Britain (q.v.) saw the money-making
potential in mass-nicotine-addiction, they
attempted to steal Americas profits by a form
of legal thievery known as taxation (q.v.).
The American Cult refused to comply, and
proceeded to kill Englishmen until England
agreed to leave them alone.
In order to increase the profits from

AAVATAR

agriculture (a gri kul cher) n.

The human science of evenly dispersing DDT

into the water table.

air (ar) n. 1. Diffused human flatulence. 2. Hated gas which Mankind dedicates
its technology to eradicate.

Human-Crushing Machine

airplane (ar plan) n. That which,

on a good day, crushes humans against a mountain.4
alchemy (al ke me) n. 1. The pro-

cess of transmuting one illusory form into another.

AAVATAR

(See Elimination.) Humans also transmute

food into the energy used to create and maintain
thought, and thus Mankind is the ungainly, if
not repulsive, meat machine for alchemically
transmuting the immaterial from the material.

ll ools ay (ol foolz da) n.

A human holiday which is named after the only
human truth.

Commentary by Zyk: Regarding the

alchemical transubstantiation of All and
Nothing and the equality of form versus form
in the World of Humans, I offer the following
crapulous elegy:
Like swan and cygnet, spark and sun
Man and infant are but one
Like brain to body, blood to heart
Man and seed are but a part
As earth is dirt and flower is germ
So all is atoms and man is worm
As steam to ice and bread to crust
So truth to man and man to dust
As all and nothing form a circle vicious
Mans flesh is all and nothing but delicious

alcoholic

(al ko hol ik) n. See

Newspaperman.

alcoholism (al ko hol ik) n. See

Journalism.

alcohol (al ca hol) n. A

hallucinatory escape hatch through which a
human escapes from the Unspeakable Prison
of Himself. See Liquor.
Commentary by Lilith:
Alcohol has supreme value
to Mankind. Killing brain
cells and deadening their
tiny intellects, it allows
humans to forget that they
are absurd, half-conscious
specks flitting for an instant
betwixt a grotesque birth
and deathbed putrefaction.
See Brewery.

Commentary by Asmo Deus: The science

of Alchemy in the disgusting human body
constitutes the transmuting of sweet-smelling
foodstuffs into ghastly-smelling excretions.
4
NOTE BY AHRIMAN: Upon observing
an airplane about to crush its passengers against a
mountain range, the Invading Demon is encouraged
to Possess one of the human passengers in order to
experience the delightful vivacity of mindless human
terror.*

NOTE BY BELIAL: As might be expected

of One who is blind to practicality, Ahriman neglected
to warn of a disgusting physical side effect of human
terror; for in this instance, the Demon possessing a
human body should be prepared for the gauche spewing
of effluents from the absurd human bowels and bladder.

The Only Escape

for Humans

ale (al) n. Beverage used by human ath-

letes in the Sport of Wife-Beating.

alimony

(a li mo nee) n. A fee
generally paid by a male human for the right to
spew sexual fluids upon anyone save his wife.
See Divorce.

allegory (a la gor ee) n. An extended metaphor. For example, a tale of a flesheating bacteria slowly eating its way across the
human body is an allegory for Mankinds diseased civilization slowly eating its way across
the earth.

merica (a mer i ka) n. A cult of

Caucasian invaders who usurped vast tracts of
North America for the purpose of transforming all of its natural artifacts into swill. To their
further cvredit, the American morons (q.v.)
displayed a unique sense of humor by addicting
the conquered natives to alcohol before imprisoning them in scenic death camps. (See Indian
Reservations.)

Commentary by Ahriman:
This fascinating, ruthless cult first gained
prominence on earth by introducing an
amazingly addictive drug called nicotine to
Europe. The profits from this addictive drug
enabled the American invaders to finance their
own nation on the vast tracts of stolen land.
When enterprising humans in
Great Britain (q.v.) saw the money-making
potential in mass-nicotine-addiction, they
attempted to steal Americas profits by a form
of legal thievery known as taxation (q.v.).
The American Cult refused to comply, and
proceeded to kill Englishmen until England
agreed to leave them alone.
In order to increase the profits from