Jack Freeman

Professor Jon Beadle

English 115
3 December 2016
Reflection
Everyone makes mistakes because it is part of life, but not everyone will learn from their
mistakes and try to make themselves better so they dont make the same mistake in the future.
Many people struggle to improve themselves based off the mistakes they have made in their
lives. I can understand why people would have the problem of not learning from their mistakes,
but I choose to learn from my mistakes. I tend to make mistakes in my writing and I do
everything I possibly can to fix my literary mistakes and improve myself all around as a writer.
Over the time I spent writing Progression I and Progression II, I have seen the flaws in my
writing and learned from them which in turn has made me a better writer. A lot of my mistakes
have been brought up by my peers but mainly by professor Beadle. Professor Beadle has done a
very good job at pointing out my mistakes and telling me what I can do in my next essay so the
mistake isnt reoccurring. He has explained to me how I need to improve my analysis in my
essays and have my transitions flow better. Professor Beadle has also informed me that I tend to
make claims without having any evidence to back those claims up. I have taken note of this and
have diffused the problem and evidence of this diffusion can be seen in the corrections I made of
my progression essays. I have also noticed how I sometimes dont have a solid sentence structure
and I have fixed this issue and it can be seen in my revised progressions.
My Progression 1 Essay was a very significant learning experience for my writing
because it formed a baseline as to where my writing is now and how I will be able to improve it

in the future. A very big issue I had in my essay was that I wasnt giving well developed analysis
for my evidence which is very essential because analysis is used to explain the evidence and
explain how the evidence relates to my thesis. When I revised my Progression 1 essay, I saw the
problems I had with analysis and I fixed those problems in my revision. In my essay, I was
discussing the reason why Kane wrote her article, but I didnt have any evidence or additional
analysis to back that claim up. When I was making my revisions, I wrote:
Kane wrote this article to show that parents stress being manly and being heterosexual
through gender roles they have for their sons so their sons are considered masculine in
society. Kane was talking about this idea of heterosexuality and masculinity when she
stated, Gender conformity and heterosexuality are linked within hegemonic
constructions of masculinity (Kane, 96). This association of heterosexuality with
masculinity causes parents to try to turn their boys into heterosexual men so they can be
considered normal men in society (1).
This shows that my writing has improved because I gave solid evidence to back-up my claim
along with analysis that states how the claim and evidence relates back to my thesis. My original
essay did not have the quote to back-up the claim I made, but over this semester I have learned
that I cannot make a claim without evidence to back it up and that realization can be seen in my
revision. Along with revising my analysis issues, I also revised problems I had with transitions
and sentence structure.
I also noticed in my Progression 1 essay that some of my transitions didnt flow very well
into the next paragraph. I was trying to transition from relating how clothes influence gender to
how parental interactions influence gender roles when I said, Along with clothing, parental
interactions highly influence the gender a child identifies with (1). This smooth transition into

the next topic shows that my writing has improved because it was previously an awkward
transition into the next paragraph. I learned how to fix this error by incorporating ideas from the
previous sentence and the topic I was currently discussing into my transition into the next
paragraph. This also shows I improved my sentence structure because my revision helped the
sentence flow well with the rest of the paragraph. In my Progression 2 essay, I also struggled
with transitions and I fixed my transitions to make the sentence flow better.
Along with having problems with transitions in my Progression 1 essay, I was also
having problems with transitions in my Progression 2 Essay. In my essay, I was trying to find a
way to transition from talking about power in masculinity to aggression in masculinity. I was
discussing these topics when I wrote, Another trait that tends to be heavily associated with
masculinity is aggression (2). The transition shows that my writing has improved because I
previously had a rigid transition that didnt seem to fit in with the paragraph, but I revised it and
made the sentence flow better. I was able to identify this problem by using the skills I have
acquired throughout this English course and applied it to my writing. I had trouble with
transitions in my Progression 2 essay and I also had trouble finding evidence to back up my
claims.
My Progression 2 essay was an improvement from my previous progression, but I still
had problems giving thorough, supportive evidence to some claims I would make. After looking
over my Progression 2 essay, I noticed that some of my analysis wasnt as well developed as it
should be so I made changes to make it more supportive of my claim. In my essay, I was
discussing Ruth Hubbards opinion about how people think women are incapable of being
educated when I wrote, Hubbard was discussing the topic of education for women when she
stated, In the nineteenth century, when women tried to get access to higher education, scientists

initially claimed we could not be educated because our brains are too small (Hubbard, 46) (2).
My writing has improved because I previously just stated Hubbards belief without any evidence
to back up my claim which is useless because it is hard to believe a claim without any evidence
to support it. I have grown to understand that for someone to believe a claim I make; I must
provide supporting evidence to reinforce my claim and make it believable. Seeing all the
mistakes I have made with supporting evidence has helped me grow as a writer.
Overall it is clear to see that my writing has improved throughout the course of this class.
Examples of my improvement can be seen in my revisions of evidence, analysis, and sentence
structure. The course has taught me many things about writing and has taught me how to identify
the faults in my own writing and be able to improve them. With all the knowledge I have gained
from this course, I am able to say that I have become a better writer and I will be able to improve
in my writing throughout my life.