Zamora 1

Yesenia Zamora
Professor Beadle
English 115
December 7, 2016
The Real You
Learning is defined as a long lasting change in behavior throughout ones experience in
life. In society things are often learned, taught to obtain control and order, but also create a form
of division through gender. Children early on learn to begin associating sex (being the body and
genitalia one is born with), and gender (what one identifies and expresses themselves). Gender
being either masculine or feminine. One long taught ideal in society would be that all there is, is
men and women and that each have a certain role and look they must convey. What society fails
to recognize is that sex and gender are not one and are not equal. For many that is not the case
and it is a difficult concept to grasp questioning what really is sex and what is gender. Looking at
Aaron Devors and Judith Lorbers articles on how gender and sex are not the same to tell its
audience that due to society asking for each sex to act according to it assigned gender without
knowing that gender and sex are completely different to one another.
Way before birth occurs parents begin to decide and enforce sex and gender towards
children without even noticing. This is done unconsciously by parents, not as a forced act but as
traditions and thinking which end up handed down through generations. From the moment a
baby is born parents separate a child through their articles of clothing. Depending on what sex a
baby is born in to, their articles of clothing's range from different colors, and designs. Boys are
given t-shirts and pants, with colors of clothing ranging in cool tones. On the other hand, girls
are set for dresses and skirts all in bright lively colors. Small children are shown that through

Zamora 2
these articles of clothing and colors what category it is that belongs to, and to learn what it is
they should use to differentiate one another. In Judith Lobers article Night to His Day: The
Social Construct of Gender states: Dressing, speaking, walking, gesturing in the ways
prescribed for women or men whichever they want to be taken for and so does any normal
person (20). This article showing that between both gender there is a difference to how each is
set to present themselves due to what sex they are born into. Boys being set to look and act more
masculine and girls to be perceived as softer. The ideals of the opposite gender having to be and
look a certain way leads society into gender stereotyping.
Stereotyping is another form in which interpretations of sex and gender are
learned. Certain stereotypes set up expectations on each gender, each with a cause and an effect.
Those who are masculine are stereotyped to be the typical "Manly Man" to be strong, tough, and
to show no type of weakness. This given stereotype can cause men to stress and panic to keep up
this role, and be seen the way society wants one to be depicted. The effects of this can cause a
fear of being associated to homosexuality, due to homosexuality being seen as weak and too
feminine. Women are perceived as weak and not as important as men but more so seen as lower
than them expected to bear children, tend to household duties, and appeal to men. From
Becoming Members of Society: The Social Meaning of Gender by Aaron Devor states that: "A
heterosexual orientation requires women to dress, move, speak, and act in ways that men will
find attractive" (40). Explaining that what is expected from women, and how women are taught
that they are simply around for men. The main negative female stereotype is that women have to
depend on men, and appeal to his every need. This causing women to not want to think for
themselves and give in to these ideals. Following up Devors quote that the female gender is
boxed into small ideas that are expected for all women to follow. As well as these qualities being

Zamora 3
perceived as nothing but weakness and conformity to do nothing more than serve whoever is
looked at as the strongest.
The biggest culprit of trying to blur out the difference between sex and gender is its main
influence, Social Construction. Society has molded specific roles for each gender. Men have to
be strong leaders and the bread winner. Each gender has to look a certain way, carry certain
physical appearances, and characteristics to fall into their molds, as stated in both articles by
Devor and Lorber. Both explain how each gender role is attempted to be put into association with
a certain sex. But where this seems to cut off is that now societies members are finding flexibility
in their binaries. Those who do not follow societies expectations are the answer to why sex does
not and is not equal to gender. The Transgendered, Gender fluid, and Non gendered communities
offer enough reasoning as to why sex and gender are not equal. These communities dont meet or
practice what society says each sex should follow. Sex does not determine your gender because
mentally gender is not expressed according to the bodies assigned at birth. Many have been born
feeling as if they were not born in the right body, and do not express what their supposed
assigned gender is expected to be doing. Other individuals do not see themselves in one set
gender mold. They flex between both and some dont feel that they belong to any gender at all.
From my own experience I have come to learn that these expectations and stereotypes as
addressed in the previous articles prove that sex does not come to equal gender. Being born
physically female had the stereotypes addressed by Aaron Devor implanted into my mindset by
my parents, I had to grow up and prepare to one day serve a man that will be a part of my life.
my sex was to be expressed through my physical appearance, how to sit, act, and respond was all
taught to me from a very early age. I soon though began to notice that all these traits made me
extremely uncomfortable they did not seem right to me. My sex and the gender I felt that I

Zamora 4
rightfully belong to did not add up to me. As I grew to be older I began to learn that the gender I
identified was male and not female like my sex. If sex and gender were equal, there would be no
reason to feel this way but as time progressed the feeling to express the gender I belong to
became stronger. This to which I began to identify as transgendered and live out as the right
gender but the body I was in was still not correct. Due to the pressure to act upon the stereotypes
I was not able to continue identifying a male. I later was able to learn upon the term of gender
fluid, being able to portray from the spectrum of male or female with fluidity and find comfort
within my sex and gender not adding up to be the same.
If society states that sex and gender are one and the same, then why is it that there are
large amounts of people who do not base their lives after these molds and expectations? That
regardless of all the learning, and teachings they cant be set in where they are assigned to be? It
is because although one is set to look masculine or feminine, dress in certain clothing, and carry
a specific attitude to force their gender to be able to express what body they were born into. Most
people know from a very young age that they do not feel right following ideals that they are not
who they mentally know they are. Society is now beginning to change and see that by breaking
observational learning, stereotypes, and social construct, we can and will begin to educate the
rest of society. Every generation will begin to break away from old ideals set because of the past
and learn that sex and gender are two different things

Zamora 5
Work Cited
Devor, Aaron. Becoming Members of Society: The Social Meaning of Gender. Composing
Gender, Edited by Rachel Groner and John F. OHara, Bedford St. Martins, 2014,
pp. 35-43
Lorber, Judith. Night to His Day: The Social Construction of Gender. Composing Gender,
Edited by Rachel Groner and John F. OHara, Bedford St. Martins, 2014, pp. 19-33