Chiharu Takashi

Aaron Benedetti
UWP 1 Section 18
December 8, 2016
Learning from Introductory Writing Class
Taking the introductory writing class, UWP 1, was challenging but was full of
accomplishment at the same time. As I mention in my literacy narrative, which is Going
through Two Different Educational Styles, I came to the United States three years ago
and took English classes in my high school. Even though I was in English class before,
this formal writing class was the first time for me to take. I had not thought about writing
in much depth before taking the class. Through the readings, writings and discussions in
the class, I learned how writing involves deep thoughts and long, complex processes.
To start writing, I almost always think about what is my argument and how I
organize my paper first. Despite the fact of hating to spend time on just making outlines, I
found out that it was helpful to make outlines before I start write, especially for this
reflective writing. Because all learning outcomes for the course are related and connected
in some aspects, I could not start without writing out what I want to say for each of them
and finding how each one is connected to the others in order to organize my thoughts. So,
I listed out what I learned from the class for each outcome. Also, I added the examples
demonstrating the learning and which technique I thought is useful for my future. Finally,
I connected the points where two or more outcomes are similar. With all of this
preparation, I could see how I can compose this complex writing. Like this reflective
writing, when a paper is long and thoughtful that it is difficult to start writing, making an

outline helped me to remember to include what I wanted to say with fulfilling a required
length. After this first step of making an outline or think about how I want to compose,
now starting to write became more ease.
Before taking this class, I tried to write my first draft as perfectly as I can so that I
only need to correct grammar and vocabulary in a revision. However, after reading
Shitty First Drafts by Lamott, I found that the more professional a writer is, the more
changes and revisions the writer goes through. She sees writing first drafts as a process to
get insights of what she wants to write about without caring too much details of how to
express it. Because I had time to revise until I submit my final revision (revisions can
be still made though) for portfolio before I receive grades, I did not have to think about
that my first drafts are going to determine my grades. This encourages me to write down
what I want to say without worrying too much about writing perfectly for a first time.
With the completion of the first drafts, I engaged in social interactions with
readers, which I learned is a useful process of writing. I really appreciated the feedback I
received on my writings. Honestly speaking, at first I could not understand the intensions
of my instructor to spend all the class time for the workshops because I was basically
corrected grammar and vocabulary mistakes in the workshops I had before. However, the
workshop in this class was totally different from that. The feedback I got from my readers
helped me when I revise my papers because I could see their points of views. Being
aware of that writings are for audience is important. Writing can be for oneself, for
example, when writing journals, but almost always there is audience. Before, I was
stubborn with that the way I write is my style and did not really care about what readers

feel. However, I started to care about what my readers would think or if they are confused
when reading my writings after taking this class because I heard direct voices of readers.
Here is one of examples of how I used the readers voice to revise my writings. In
my literacy narrative project, which is about experiencing two different educational styles
in the U.S. and Japan, I revised much more than I had done before based on all feedback I
got. The suggestions were giving more clear and detailed examples and incorporating
more Japanese education style to make better comparison with the United States
education style. Even though I had hesitated to make big changes to something I spent so
much time on, I completely changed paragraphs and reorganized the order of sentences
and paragraphs from my first draft in order to utilize these suggestions.
Hearing opinions from outsides not only just corrects where readers pointed out
but also leads me to think more objectively from readers views. Keeping them in mind, I
re-read my first drafts by myself as a reader and found many places, where I could
change. With all of feedback and self-evaluating, I decided to make big differences for
the second revision. It was difficult to revise first because I did not know exactly how to
change better, but once I started revising, the more I revised, the more I found that I can
make further changes. Even though I finished the second revision and was satisfied with
the achievement, I still think that there is always something to revise or make it better.
Because writing is continuous and revising is never ending, I think writing never finishes
even I submitted my portfolio.
While revising my papers, I always think about how effectively I am convincing
readers. Every action people take has a purpose. It ranges from such that I grab a banana
to fulfill my hunger to that I decide to go to the University of California Davis to study

Animal Sciences. That is the same as writing. There are always arguments included,
which are what authors want to convince through their writings. That is why students are
taught to include thesis statements or arguments in essays for English class. In order to
convince ideas, writers need to think about the concept of rhetoric in writing. They need
to keep in mind that the way they write can affect who will read their pieces or how depth
they can communicate with readers. From a variety of readings from the class, I realized
that clear, concise writings are for everyone. They are easier to understand or include
fundamental knowledge whereas long, complex writings provide depth understandings
for scholars or interested people. For example, in Makers Eye, Murray was successful
with concisely summarizing his ideas using everyday language. This enables everyone to
read before people give up. In contrast, in Literacy, Discourse, Linguistics, Gee
discusses about the complex ideas of the unclear topic with academic languages. This
prevents everyone from reading but interests scholars who conduct research about it. One
is easy to understand but includes no deep discussions whereas the other one is difficult
to follow but offers professional insights.
Understanding the effect of mode and genre on audience and therefore
conventions, I applied the technique to my writings. Specifically, I changed styles
between literacy narrative and discourse community research. When composing literacy
narrative, I used formal language and tried to sound academically. However, in the
workshop, I read my peers paper and was surprised how he made me and other readers
engaged into his writings by using informal, casual and conversation-like mode. Learning
from this experience, I changed the tone of my paper by incorporating more everyday
language and phrases, so it is more approachable. In addition, based on my teachers

suggestion to make writing into story like piece, I added the detailed examples with
story-telling tone. However, I still can make more detailed descriptions and incorporate
story-like parts more if I have more time to revise. By doing so, readers can put
themselves more easily and enjoy reading it.
Contrastingly, I used more academic language in the discourse community
research paper. Being a professional of the topic, I proposed my finding by analyzing
quotes, citing credible sources and using academic languages. The writing is more
determined and teaching instead of engaging with readers. In the project, I paid attention
to smoothly incorporate them to implement my argument as evidence and I think that I
did well doing it. However, it was difficult to balance the amount of the citations with my
own thoughts. In order to do it, I completely changed the section of Characteristics of
Emergency Medicine in my discourse community research. I added more analysis to
fewer quotes in order to make it easier for readers to see the process of my thinking to
reach the argument. I reorganized the section by adding sentences and integrating two
paragraphs into one. Yet, I could not change much the section of Defining a Discourse
Community of Emergency Medicine. If I have more time, I want to not just list the
Swales characteristics but integrate them with the section of Characteristics of
Emergency Medicine.
Among all of the learning outcomes, I found experiencing research through the
discourse community project would be useful for my career. I am in College of Biology
now, and I want to pursue something related to sciences in the future. As a scientist, there
will be more chance to write research papers rather than novels or free writings.
Discourse community project introduced me how to conduct research and write in a

particular genre. Now I know more about what kind of evidence I can trust and what
information I should look for a paper. This helps me when gathering resources. Also, I
could get familiar with citations, paraphrases and summary, which are important elements
for conducting research. Having experience with genre for research papers, I will be able
to get head start when I need to write a research paper for my major in the future.
Through the course, I gained the insight of about what writing is. I think writing is
a result of thinking over and over. Thinking is never ending unlike you finish solving
when getting absolute answers for math or science questions and so as writing. And
writing is a form that you use to communicate your developed thinking with readers.
From the time when you start writing, you think about it and revise for many times. In
fact, when I had a paper to write, I had been thinking what to write and how to write to
convince audience most of the time. Even after I finished my drafts, I still think what I
can improve. Writing is not just the act of writing words, but it includes complex
thoughts and processes before a final draft is produced.