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Gissel Valle
Professor Beadle
English 115
8 November 2016
Improved Writer
Coming into college, I knew one of the main areas that would come back again and again
would be writing. Its never been a strong quality of mine as I tend to lack self confidence in this
specific area. The standard three-page essays I wrote back in highschool werent going to be of
the same quality as the countless papers I would write in college. English has never been a
favorite of mine as Ive consistently struggled while everyone else improved. In the past
semester, however, I believe my overall quality of writing has definitely improved. Due to trips
to the LRC and receiving multiple feedback from others, Ive been able to recognize repeated
mistakes and see areas I needed to improve on. From the first progression essay to the second
progression essay, theres been noticeable improvements. Im able to fully respond to the
prompt, analyze the texts, and explain the importance of the topics. Ive also improved with
connecting all my explanations back to the thesis. Through my time in taking English 115, Ive
been able to understand literature and interpret it, connecting it to other topics. Ive been able to
gain confidence and grow as a writer.
When given a writing assignment, youre assigned a prompt which needs to be fully
answered and supported. You should construct a thesis that explains what youll be talking
about. In my first essay Assigned Genders, I totally missed the point in that area. For example,
in my introduction I mention many topics yet I never directly answered the prompt nor any of the

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articles I would be using. My thesis Society has placed certain gender stereotypes of what
makes someone masculine or feminine thus supporting the idea that gender is heavily influenced
by society and everyday interactions and is socially constructed is all over the place and doesnt
address the prompt directly. With the feedback I received from the professor, I was able to fix
this mistake in my second essay. The Kenwood Chef visual advertisement shows that there are
stereotypical gender roles assigned This shows theres a need for a hierarchy system when it
comes to sex and makes us question why theres a lack of change. This presents the message of
my visual advertisement and the importance of how it relates to society today. Secondly, I
related my claims back to my thesis more efficiently in my second essay than my first. When
visiting the LRC, I reviewed the points I made in each supporting paragraph with my writing
tutor and made sure I related it back to the prompt. I was able to make my visual ad the base of
my essay and explain it in different viewpoints.
Throughout the semester, weve learned the importance of using quotes to fully support
the claims we were making. Professor Beadle showed us a method called the quote sandwich
to help us properly introduce the quote, placing the quote, and explaining how the specific quote
supports the thesis. In my first progression essay Assigned Genders, I lacked using quotes and
evidence to support certain points. When mentioning Aaron Devors article, I restated most of
the article rather than quoting specific lines from the article. For example, I wrote According to
Devor, he explains the expectations that are put upon on us based on our sex. I clearly state a
clear topic that can be elaborated on, yet I fail to use specific quotes to support it. Because of the
lack of evidence, it shows that my claims can be interpreted as biased and not at all true. In my
second essay Gender Roles Through Media, I again mention Devors article with specific

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quotes, masculinity is usually characterized by dominance and aggression and femininity by

passivity and submission (39). Using specific examples like this shows that Im able to make a
connection with the reading to the thesis while fully supporting it. It shows that I have a clear
understanding of the prompt.
Ive also improved in fully analyzing quotes throughout my first two essays. In my first
essay,Assigned Genders, I begin to talk about how young children are unconsciously treated
differently by their own parents, yet I never explain why this is important. Instead, I move onto
the next subject, saying Can the interactions with our parents also have an effect on our gender
construction?. This can leave writers confused and shows a lack of understanding in the topic.
You have to be able to interpret a quote to its full potential and explain the importance of it.
Going into my second essay, I knew this was something I had to improve on and I did. For
example, in my third paragraph, I bring about the idea of why many care about gender roles. I
quote Dippanjeet Kaur and Sheetal Thapars article Media Portrayal of Women, Women are
rarely shown in out-of-home working roles while men were shown regarding women as sex
objects or as domestic adjuncts (62). After mentioning the quote, I go on to explain why this
quote was worth mentioning, The importance of this presents the idea of the need for social
order. Theres a hierarchy system when it comes to men and women . Because of this, I am
able to provide a clear explanation of the ideas while supporting the thesis at the same time.
Even though I dont consider myself to be the most skilled writer, I do classify myself as
an improved writer. Taking this course has definitely helped me in areas where I tended to
struggle the most in the past. The help I received from writing tutors at the LRC to individual
conferences with my professor has greatly impacted my quality of writing. I am now able to

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interpret articles and connect them to a general idea while using examples and quotes to support
my claims. Throughout the semester, the skills Ive familiarized myself with in this class, Ive
been able to apply them to writing assignments in other classes. However, theres always room
for improvement and I intend to do so during my upcoming years in college.