Anna Kruger

Families in Society
Spring 2016
What to do Before I Do: The Benefits of Marriage Preparation
The positive effect of premarital education on marriages and the family
is widely recognized by those that have embarked on the journey prior to
their wedding day. Premarital education has even gained national attention
by lawmakers; several states, including Florida, Minnesota, and Texas, have
adapted policies that reward couples for time spent preparing for marriage.
In some states the fee for a marriage license is greatly reduced or even free
should the couple complete the required premarital education hours
(Harrison). For lawmakers to offer this kind of incentive there must be lasting
benefits of the time spent in group or individual classes directly focused on
preparing a couple for the demands of marriage. What are the benefits of
intentional marriage preparation on the marriage relationship itself and on
the family as a whole? What types of marriage preparation courses are
offered in our society and what makes for an effective premarital education
course? Looking further into these questions can empower marriage
relationships and the families that flow from them.
The impacts of premarital education on marriage relationships are
positive in multiple dimensions of the relationship. A study presented in the
Journal of Marital and Family Therapy explored what specific areas were
affected. The study, completed at a southeastern university, consisted of 63

engaged couples that participated in an eight hour weekend workshop or six,

one to two hour sessions (Barton, Furtis, Bradley 165-177). About the content
of the sessions, the journal shared, In both modalities, a trained facilitator
guided the couples through a series of topics outlined in the PREPARE
program Both GWW (weekend workshop) and CS (individual sessions)
participants were allotted time for structured couple exercises, modeling,
and couple dialogue throughout their respective sessions (Barton, Furtis,
Bradley 165-177). After completing the program, the participants were
followed up with four weeks later. Couples reported inflated scores in
Relationship Satisfaction, Affectionate Expressions, and Positive Cognitions,
as well as decreased scores in both Ineffective Arguing and Negative
Cognitions (Barton, Furtis, Bradley 165-177). These foundational areas of any
relationship were positively affected by intentional time spent in premarital
education. With a maximum possible of 12 hours spent focusing on preparing
for and improving the marriage relationship, couples were able to change
their relationship for the better and impact the rest of their lifetime. Not only
is this a benefit to the couple, but also to the potential family they will be
raising; a couple who are satisfied with their relationship, think positively,
and are openly affectionate are positive models in the lives of their children.
By modeling a positive marriage relationship, they directly and indirectly
teach their children how to have positive relationships. This, in turn, builds
more successful marriages. It is clear that putting forth effort in preparing for
marriage has a widely positive result.

In addition to positive effects on dimensions of all marriage

relationships, it is notable that the same study found that premarital
education was especially effective in a certain type of couples, those that
were high-risk. According to the study, high-risk couples were determined
by a measure of couple functioning and agreement. Those that had low
couple functioning and agreement qualified as having high-risk for future
marital risks (Barton, Furtis, Bradley 165-177). High-risk couples had
significantly more positive results than low-risk couples. For example, in
Relationship Satisfaction high-risk couples went from a score of 5.70 before
the course to 6.10 after completing the course. Similar trends were found in
Affectionate Expressions and Positive Cognitions. The most striking category
that was positively affected was Relationship Confidence that went from 5.53
to 5.97 (Barton, Furtis, Bradley 165-177). It is clear that couples that have
low functioning relationships and little agreement are positively affected in a
major way after participating in premarital education. The scores that had
once qualified them as high-risk for future marital dysfunction now put them
in the range of being considered low-risk. Premarital education has the
potential to change the lives of couples and their families, changing them
from high-risk for marital problems to low-risk, functional teammates and
leaders.
A final benefit to marriage relationships and the family that flows from
participation in premarital education is found in the way it introduces couples
to people who are willing and available to help them through difficulties in

life. In the article Making a Case for Premarital Education, author Scott
Stanley writes, When a couple has a positive premarital educational
experience, they may be more likely to seek the advice of either the person
who helped them premaritally or others (Stanley 272-280). Premarital
education opens the door to professionals that seek to counsel couples and
their families. For those that have never used their services, reaching out for
help can be a daunting task. Premarital counseling offers the opportunity for
couples to engage in preventative counseling and gain a better
understanding of what it is like to receive help. Knowing what counseling is
like and where to find it makes couples more likely to seek it out again for
different or larger problems they face together down the road.
Premarital education courses come in a variety of shapes and sizes.
Traditionally, courses were provided by the church and the church leaders
there. However, there are now premarital courses offered by social workers
and others outside of the church. Premarital education and counseling can
range from one session to multiple sessions over a period of time and is
greatly diverse in the material that it covers. According to Stanley, programs
offered outside of the church tend to have the higher short-term results in
terms of changed behaviors, while programs offered by church professionals
have higher long-term results. He writes, religious leaders (or religious
institutions with family life educators) are in the single best position to bring
about the broadest range of meaningful early prevention efforts with regard

to marital distress and divorce (Stanley 272-280). The best premarital

education courses are those that are rooted in the grace and love of Christ.
One of the most basic yet overlooked steps to an effective premarriage preparation program is the timeline in which it is completed. In
Howard J. Clinebells book, Growth Counseling for Marriage Enrichment, he
writes The prewedding phase of the program- which ideally builds on
remote preparation experiences- should begin as long as possible before the
rush and crush period, hopefully at least six months in advance of the
wedding. Preparation crammed into the hectic few days preceding the
ceremony is largely wasted, wiped out by anticipatory anxiety and
fatigue(Clinebell 49). In the six months before the wedding, the focus is
typically on just thatthe wedding event. Engaging in pre-marriage
counseling at least six months prior to the wedding event ensures that the
couple is focusing on the marriage as opposed to just the wedding. Weddings
are one of the most important events in a persons lifetime and should be
celebrated as such. However, being intentional about pre-marriage
counseling ensures that the couple is focusing on the marriage relationship
as a whole before being swept up in the stress of wedding planning.
Another essential aspect of a successful premarital education is a focus
on communication. In the article Changes Following Premarital Education for
Couples with Differing Degrees of Future Marital Risk the study reported on
revealed that 79 percent of the couples who participated agreed that

communication was an essential part of premarital education (Barton, Furtis,

Bradley 165-177). Effective communication is a defining factor of a high
functioning marriage relationship. Without it, couples are not able to achieve
a fully satisfying intimate relationship. Couples who had participated in
premarital education agreed that communication is a topic that must be
addressed before beginning a life together. By giving couples the basics of
effective communication, modeling it for them, and giving them an
environment to practice those skills, they have the tools they need to
practice effective communication in their relationship leading to greater
marital satisfaction.
In addition to an intentional timeline and high focus on communication
skills, premarital education must be tailored to each specific couple. While
aspects of premarital education work for all couples, each couple is unique in
their strengths and weaknesses. As discussed earlier, high-risk couples that
participated in the study presented by the Journal for Marriage & Family
Therapy saw significantly higher results than couples that started out as lowrisk. This led the authors to the following conclusion, As a qualification the
greater changes exhibited in high-risk individuals than in low-risk could be
explained by a potential ceiling effect for the low-risk couples, whose
improvements may have been limited from having begun the program at
already high levels of relationship functioning and satisfaction (Barton,
Furtis, Bradley 165-177). To avoid this ceiling effect in premarital
education, it is pertinent for each couple to engage in premarital education

with a teacher that already knows them or will spend intentional time getting
to know them in order to best address their individual needs. Marriage is
different than any other relationship; just because a couple is already a high
functioning unit does not mean that there is no room for improvement or
steps to be taken to prepare for marriage.
An interesting aspect of premarital education is found in the name
itself. Premarital education is synonymously called premarital counseling.
While these words are used interchangeably, there is a vastly different
connotation between the two. The word counseling tends to imply that
something is wrong and is being fixed with the help of a professional. On the
other hand, the word education is not viewed as negatively, but rather a
chance for everyone to gain learning on a given subject by any given
teacher. When applied to marriage and the family, the two words tend to
have similar connotations. This is something that family professionals should
be aware and cautious of when engaging couples in premarital preparations.
While there is little research on whether or not the word counseling inhibits
people from being willing to participate in premarital preparation, it is
plausible that the word education would be more positively received.
When it comes to premarital education, Certified Family Life Educators
play a large role. According to the Family Life Education Institute, the goal of
family life programs and Certified Family Life Educators is to enrich and
improve the quality of individual and family life (Family Life Education

Institute). One of the best ways to enrich and improve the quality of an
individuals life and the life of the family as a whole is through premarital
education. Not only does premarital education improve the marriage
relationships by building up strengths in a couples relationship, those
strengths in turn bless the family as a whole. A healthy family is built on the
foundation of a healthy marriage. The best way to obtain a healthy marriage
is to take steps to prepare for the rocky journey of life ahead before marriage
instead of inadequately dealing with problems along the way due to lack of
education. One of the best ways to accomplish this is for Certified Family Life
Educators in every area to work together. Those working in the community
and church have a platform through which they can offer premarital
education courses, ultimately serving those working with families in the
hospital who are forced to face one of the most difficult storms of life. It is
the responsibility of Certified Family Life Educators to engage couples in
premarital education and equip them with the tools they need to build and
sustain a healthy marriage.
It is clear that engaging in premarital education poses many benefits.
Those benefits include higher marital satisfaction, greater affection, positive
cognition and communication, and lower levels of ineffective arguing. In
addition, premarital education is particularly useful to couples at high risk for
future marital difficulties and opens the door for couples and their future
family to find help when problems arise. It is also clear that the most
effective premarital education programs flow from the church and occur over

an intentional timeline, focusing on communication, and are unique to each

couple. Premarital education strengthens couples to weather the storms of
life together in their future marriage relationship and in turn empowers
families as a whole. Preparing for marriage lays a foundation for couples and
their families; if we are able to empower marriages, we are able to change
the world.

Works Cited
Barton, Allen W., Ted G. Furtis, and Renay C. Bradley. "Changes Following
Premarital Education for Couples with Varying Degrees of Future
Marital Risk." Journal of Marital & Family Therapy 40.2 (2014): 165-77.
ProQuest. Web. 15 Mar. 2016.
Clinebell, Howard J. Growth Counseling for Marriage Enrichment: Premarriage and the Early Years. Philadelphia: Fortress, 1975. Print.
"Family Life Education Institute." Family Life Education Institute. Family LIfe
Education Institute, n.d. Web. 01 May 2016.
Gross, Stanley J. "Like Parent, Like Child: The Enduring Influence of Family."
Psych Central.com. PsychCentral, 28 Apr. 2000. Web. 01 May 2016.
Harrison, Courtney. "Premarital Preparation Requirements in State Law." :
National Healthy Marriage Resource Center. United States Department
for Health and Human Services, 2010. Web. 10 Mar. 2016.
HealthResearchFunding. "20 Significant Premarital Counseling Statistics HRFnd." HRFnd. HealthResearchFunding.org, 07 Oct. 2014. Web. 02
Mar. 2016.
Meyers, Seth. "Benefits of Pre-Marital Counseling: Successful Marriage."
Psychology Today. Sussex Publishers, 21 Sept. 2011. Web. 02 Mar.
2016.
Stanley, Scott M. "Making A Case for Premarital Education*." Family
Relations 50.3 (2001): 272-80. ProQuest. Web. 15 Mar. 2016.