Professional Documents
Culture Documents
"Surprises"
written by
Michael Dixon
michaelpauldixon@gmail.com
DRAFT NO. 1
December 2016
FADE IN
EXT. SCENIC SHOT OF ROSEHAVEN
CUT TO:
INT. MCCALLUM REAL ESTATE - MORNING
DANIEL and EMMA enter McCallum Real Estate to the audible
sound of the entry detector.
MRS MARSH appears to be wearing a Dr Seuss Cat in the Hat Hat
when the phone rings.
MRS MARSH
(reading)
Good morning but fare warning, at
McCallum Real Estate we dont offer
discount rates, just friendly service
on your next purchase.
Mrs Marsh looks to Daniel and Emma. Daniel is horrified
whilst Emma is enthusiastically nodding.
MRS MARSH (CONTD)
Mrs Marsh I am, I do not like green
eggs and ham.
(half beat)
Its for you Daniel.
DANIEL
He-llo McCallum Real Estate, my
apologies. How can I.. Yes. No. Yes.
Ill pick some up on the way home
tonight.
Daniel hands the phone back to Mrs Marsh and takes several
steps towards Barbaras office, turning to Emma.
"Surprises"
2.
DANIEL (CONTD)
That was Mum, just questioning if we
are capable of hosting the upcoming
real estate conference or if we should
switch professions to an early
learning centre?
EMMA
Why does it have to be an early
learning centre?
Isn't that
"Surprises"
3.
EMMA
It's your fault!
My bones feel so
"Surprises"
4.
DANIEL
It doesn't matter if it's World
Pancake Day, Mum has only agreed to
pull back on her hours and let me
organise the real estate conference if
we are on our best behaviour.
EMMA
World Pancake Day was actually last
week..
So on fleek.
DANIEL
EMMA
(directly quoting Dr Seuss)
You have brains in your head, you have
feet in your shoes
(half beat)
You can steer yourself in any
direction you choose?
Daniel gives Emma a disapproving look before swapping seats.
EMMA (CONTD)
Last one I promise.
"Surprises"
5.
EMMA (CONTD)
(whispers)
Dan the man.
DANIEL
Weve got a bit to get through this
morning, the owners of the Medical
Centre have asked for an appraisal.
EMMA
Does Barbara know?
DANIEL
No.
EMMA
Oh.
DANIEL
And Id like to keep it that way, for
the moment, if we could.
EMMA
Lips are sealed.
DANIEL
No.
EMMA
Oh this is fun.
DANIEL
What is.
EMMA
Keeping secrets.
"Surprises"
6.
DANIEL
Well your record is 18 hours, let see
if we cant beat that.
EMMA
By what.
DANIEL
Infinity.
EMMA
I guess it's for the best, it's been
what, 3 months since you last saw her?
DANIEL
Who? Grace?
EMMA
Yes.
(awkward pause)
Anyway theres always Heeeeeidi.
DANIEL
She is just coordinating the Melbourne
attendees, there is nothing going on.
EMMA
Yeah but youre always so flirty with
each other on the phone.
DANIEL
(voice breaking)
I talk in my normal voice like that to
everyone.
MRS MARSH
Daniel, phone for you.
"Surprises"
7.
DANIEL
Who is it?
MRS MARSH
Heidi from Collins & Collins.
Emma gives an excited Drew Barrymore Wedding Singer clap.
EMMA
Yay!
DANIEL
Can I get some privacy? Please?
Emma stands to leave Barbaras office singing.
EMMA
Heidi, Heidi Ho, the great big
elephant is so slow, Heidi.. Heidi
Ho..
DANIEL
Em. The rhymes, you promised.
EMMA
Sorry.
Emma closes the door behind her, Daniel is laughing and
flirting on the phone like a prepubescent school girl.
Mrs Marsh continues to read her book without looking up.
EMMA (CONTD)
Thats Heidi, shes helping Daniel and
I with the real estate conference.
think shes Daniel new girlfriend.
MRS MARSH
Thats nice, Im glad he will be
finally getting some coitus.
"Surprises"
8.
EMMA
Look at him, I think he is sexy
talking right now.
(half beat)
She has her own theme tune you know.
MRS MARSH
Maybe Daniel will sing it when they
get intimate.
EMMA
Oh definitely.
(sings softly)
Heidi, Heidi the Ho.
Daniel opens the doors to Barbaras office.
DANIEL
Em, ready to go to the appraisal?
EMMA
Yes. Just wash your hands first.
(under breath)
Dirty boy.
CUT TO:
EXT. INSIDE CAR - CONTINUOUS
Daniel and Emma drive to the appraisal appointment.
Emma is wearing a panda hat with ear covers and poms.
DANIEL
Shes not my girlfriend you know.
EMMA
Who.
DANIEL
Heidi.
"Surprises"
9.
EMMA
Bananas.
DANIEL
Em, Im serious.
EMMA
So am I Daniel.
eating bananas.
(half beat)
For the potassium.
Daniel continues to drive as they both sit in silence.
DANIEL
EMMA (CONT'D)
over Grace.
DANIEL
I might never be over Grace ok?
The
"Surprises"
10.
DANIEL
I think you mean mnage trois and
it's not a love triangle if thats
what youre getting at.
I havent
Im an adorable
"Surprises"
11.
EMMA
What?
DANIEL
Imported, plentiful and if I want
another one I can take the best one
from the bunch.
EMMA
Fine.
DANIEL
Come to think of it, if I combined
bananas and milk into a smoothie, I
could get a double hit.
EMMA
(amused)
You dirty metaphoric monkey.
DANIEL
Hi five?
EMMA
(agreeing)
Hi five.
CUT TO:
EXT. MEDICAL CENTRE - CARPARK - MID MORNING
As Daniel and Emma pull into the Medical Centre carpark, they
pass the council work crew attending to a pot hole.
Olive is waiting for Daniel and Emma with a menacing look.
DANIEL
Morning Olive.
OLIVE
Don't morning me Danny.
"Surprises"
12.
DANIEL
Its Daniel.
OLIVE
I hear on the grape vine that you are
selling the Medical Centre to some
shit Melbourne property developer.
Daniel looks to Emma and speaks under his breath.
DANIEL
Are you sure you didnt tell anyone?
EMMA
I swear.
DANIEL
We are just here to give some advice
to the property owner Olive.
OLIVE
And what about this Melbourne mob?
Watched 800 Words a little too often
have they?
DANIEL
(awkwardly)
We don't live near the sea Olive, we
have a river though that goes to the
sea.
OLIVE
Should I call Barbara?
"Surprises"
13.
EMMA
Olive, we are just organising a real
estate conference, its going to be
great for the town and local business.
OLIVE
You dont get it do you?
We dont
"Surprises"
14.
DANIEL
Its Daniel!
EXT. MEDICAL CENTRE - FRONT PORCH - CONTINUOUS
Daniel and Emma approach the Medical Centre to greet owner DR
CHARLES FINLAYSON who is waiting for them.
DANIEL
Hi Dr Finlayson, Daniel McCallum from
McCallum Real Estate, we spoke on the
phone.
DR FINLAYSON
I know who you are Danny, you got your
immunisation injections here when you
were a kid.
"Surprises"
15.
DANIEL
(interrupting)
If we could have a close look around
Dr Finlayson, take some measurements,
Id be keen to hear what your thoughts
are moving forward.
DR FINLAYSON
Righto Danny. Come through.
DANIEL
(softly)
Its Daniel.
was a baby.
INT. MEDICAL CENTRE - CONTINUOUS
Dr Finlayson holds open the door for Emma and turns.
Daniel has to catch the door from closing in his face.
DR FINLAYSON
I hear youre familiar with the office
Danny. It must be a different
experience for you being here fully
clothed.
Daniel looks down at his clipboard awkwardly.
DR FINLAYSON (CONTD)
Good sized waiting room with well
proportioned practitioner rooms.
DANIEL
And the block size?
DR FINLAYSON
2 acres.
"Surprises"
16.
DANIEL
Any thoughts as to the marketing
campaign?
EMMA
BBACE.
"Surprises"
17.
EMMA
Ive been doing my auctioneers course.
I just have one more unit to go and
Ill be fully licenced!
DANIEL
Ok then.. Gooood to know.
(half beat)
Emma and I will have a look around the
outside and well be in touch with a
proposal.
DR FINLAYSON
Thanks Danny.
me.
CUT TO:
EXT. MEDICAL CENTRE BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS
Daniel is inspecting the grounds.
Emma suddenly appears, skipping across the grass.
DANIEL
Where were you?
EMMA
Just talking to some potential buyers.
DANIEL
The council workers?
EMMA
Yes.
(beat)
Look how big this place is!
(MORE)
"Surprises"
18.
EMMA (CONT'D)
We could have an outdoor cinema for
half the town here!
Emma starts fiddling around with Daniels mobile phone.
DANIEL
Keep your voice down, I don't want the
council workers overhearing and
getting any ideas.
Emma continues skipping around the property.
DANIEL (CONTD)
Is that my phone?
EMMA
Yes, relax.
ringtones.
DANIEL
Why didnt you tell me you were taking
the auctioneers course.
EMMA
I wanted it to be a surprise.
DANIEL
Well it was a surprise, for me and the
client.
EMMA
Your Mum suggested it.
Daniel looks astonished and taken back.
"Surprises"
19.
EMMA (CONTD)
I wanted to feel like my contribution
was ongoing, not just as your
superior.
DANIEL
My superior?
Emma adjusts her panda hat with ear covers and poms.
EMMA
Im your hiring manager Daniel.
DANIEL
Gotcha.
CUT TO:
EXT. SCENIC SHOT OF ROSEHAVEN
BACK TO:
INT. MCCALLUM REAL ESTATE - AFTERNOON
Daniel sits inside Barbaras office staring intensely at the
white board which just states Marketing Ideas.
BBACE is rubbed out but still visible.
DANIEL
Mrs Marsh, have you seen Emma?
MRS MARSH
She said she was going to Damiens
this afternoon.
DANIEL
Ok. Did she say what she was doing?
MRS MARSH
No.
"Surprises"
20.
DANIEL
Did she say when she would be back?
MRS MARSH
No.
DANIEL
Do you have ideas on how to market a
Medical Centre?
MRS MARSH
No.
DANIEL
Helpful.
Daniel attempts to ring Emma on his mobile when an incoming
call from BARBARA MCCALLUM flashes over the screen.
The ring tone sounds with an ominous; Bom bom BOMMMM!
BARBARA
Whats going on down there Daniel.
DANIEL
(surprised)
Mum! Nothing.
BARBARA
I hear youve been down to see
Charles.
DANIEL
Yes. We spoke last week about giving
him an appraisal.
BARBARA
Well Id rather you didnt.
"Surprises"
21.
DANIEL
But it's a good listing opportunity
and Ive already...
Daniel looks hesitantly at the empty whiteboard.
DANIEL (CONTD)
Remember BBASE?
CUT TO:
INT. BARBARA MCCALLUMS HOUSE - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Barbara is silent and looks ambivalent in response.
BACK TO:
INT. MCCALLUM REAL ESTATE - CONTINUOUS
DANIEL
Actually, never mind.
"Surprises"
22.
BARBARA
Is that what this is about.
Look
Youre right.
BARBARA
And dont
DANIEL
Love you.
Daniel walks over to the white board and writes MILK under
Marketing Ideas.
CUT TO:
EXT. DAMIEN NEBITZS HOUSE - FRONT YARD - LATER
Emma is standing on a makeshift dais made of 3 stacked wooden
pallets in front of 30 empty milk crates that form a visual
wall.
On a table sits 20 clocks, 15 toasters and 30 sponges.
empty table sits opposite of the dais.
The entire council work crew has amassed on the lawn.
EMMA
So thank you everyone for coming.
An
"Surprises"
23.
"Surprises"
24.
DAMIEN
(quietly)
Dont forget your joke.
(half beat)
To get everyone into the mood.
EMMA
Oh yeah.
(half beat)
Before opening the bidding on our
first item my associate is now
displaying, Id like to remind
everyone that auctions speak louder
than words..
The council work crew remain silent.
EMMA (CONTD)
It's because of the auction-ears.
Stunned silence until one council worker starts laughing.
COUNCIL WORKER 2
Ha! Yeah good one Em!
(explaining)
It's an interpretation that a simple
nod may be conducive to a bid on the
item at hand, given the ears of the
auctioneer are also their eyes.
COUNCIL WORKER 3
(wisely)
Shouldnt that be reflected in the
official terms and conditions that I,
a registered bidder have read and
understood?
"Surprises"
25.
COUNCIL WORKER 2
Thats right Frank.
"Surprises"
26.
3. WEB
4. MO
A taxi pulls up outside of McCallum Real Estate. The audible
sound of the entry detector is heard and Mrs Marsh approaches
Barbaras office.
MRS MARSH
Daniel, sorry to interrupt your nap
but there is someone here to see you.
A well dressed and very attractive lady steps from behind Mrs
Marsh. It is HEIDI COLLINS from the Melbourne real estate
company; Collins and Collins.
HEIDI
Hi Daniel.
DANIEL
(alert)
Hello?
HEIDI
Heidi Collins, from Collins and
Collins.
DANIEL
Hello!
HEIDI
I know this must come as a surprise,
me being here.
DANIEL
Ahh yes! Actually, today has been full
of surprises. So much so I think I may
start recording them on my whiteboard.
Daniel walks over to the whiteboard to squish the word
Surprises into the right hand corner, marking three ticks.
"Surprises"
27.
Well really
"Surprises"
28.
HEIDI
(explaining)
Your hat.
DANIEL
(taking off the hat)
Its World Dr Seuss Day.
HEIDI
You know what would be super cool?
World Pancake Day.
Daniels lower lip quivers as his phone immediately rings.
The ringtone Dream-Weaver is playing.
Daniel rushes to answer before the whole song plays.
DANIEL
Hello?
EMMA
Daniel it's Emma!
DANIEL
(immediatly hanging up)
Not now!
EMMA (CONT'D)
(arguing)
But!
HEIDI
Girlfriend?
DANIEL
Work colleague.
Were close.
So.. Why
"Surprises"
29.
HEIDI (CONT'D)
(pointing to the whiteboard)
What is all of that?
DANIEL
Oh. Just spitballing some ideas for a
potential commercial listing.
Just
I have to pick
"Surprises"
30.
HEIDI
Love to.
CUT TO:
EXT. DAMIEN NEBITZS HOUSE - FRONT YARD - LATER
The auction appears to have degenerated into an argument.
COUNCIL WORKER 3
But I like this toaster.
It cooks so
It was weird.
DAMIEN
Maybe Barbara was there.
COUNCIL WORKER 3
How bout we arm wrestle for it?
"Surprises"
31.
EMMA
Are you able to sort things out here?
I need to get back to the office.
DAMIEN
No worries.
Damien attempts to wrestle the toaster out of FRANK the
council workers kung fu grip.
EMMA
(yelling)
Frank! Just give him back the toaster!
Frank looks despondent but reluctantly gives the toaster
back.
CUT TO:
EXT. INSIDE CAR - LATER
Daniel and Heidi drive through the town.
the 24 hour Butcher Shop.
"Surprises"
32.
HEIDI
It's too bad Im only here for a
couple of days.
everything.
DANIEL
Ummm. I think you could.
It's a
"Surprises"
33.
HEIDI
You said nostalgia.
DANIEL
Ahhh.. Old fashion customer service?
Stacey who runs the Info Hub does an
excellent job in making you wish you
were someplace else.
(half beat)
In Rosehaven.
HEIDI
Ha ha, cool.
DANIEL
Plus they have lots of maps and
pamphlets.
HEIDI
I bet they smell all musty.
DANIEL
(voice breaking)
Actually they don't, every 6 months,
volunteers take them to the lavender
farm to air them out.
HEIDI
Youre kidding me!
DANIEL
It's true.
"Surprises"
34.
HEIDI
(flirting)
Stop it.
Daniels phone starts ringing.
Weaver.
"Surprises"
35.
EMMA (CONTD)
Mrs Marsh are you sure?
MRS MARSH
About what Emma.
EMMA
It seems a little strange Daniel would
go on a site seeing tour of the town
we live in.
MRS MARSH
Well it is a very interesting town
Emma.
EMMA
Was he alone?
MRS MARSH
No.
EMMA
Was it a man?
MRS MARSH
Is it still Dr Seuss day?
EMMA
Yes, sorry.
(composing)
Is the person with Daniel quite vain
and did she arrive by plane?
MRS MARSH
It's certainly not the one from Brisbane.
"Surprises"
36.
EMMA
Shit.
EMMA (CONTD)
I know Daniel has taken the car, that
being said, he couldn't have got far.
MRS MARSH
(finishing)
I think youll find them both at the
bar.
Emma turns and runs out the door.
CUT TO:
INT. TOWN PUB - NIGHT
Daniel and Heidi are laughing, engrossed in conversation.
HEIDI
You told me on the phone you can name
everyone you graduated with.
Youve
"Surprises"
37.
HEIDI
Adjoining towns you say?
Thats what
"Surprises"
38.
HEIDI
It's that which is unspoken.
There is a long silent pause.
Daniel looks nervously at Heidi thinking she is about to
proclaim her undying love.
DANIEL
I think I know what you are going to
say.
HEIDI
You do?
We are?
HEIDI
(beat)
Yes.
More silence.
HEIDI (CONTD)
That Artists message.
DANIEL
(slightly confused)
What Artist?
HEIDI
Outside of what looked to be a Medical
Centre.
DANIEL
(disappointed)
Right.
HEIDI
The blank sign symbolises her truth.
(half beat)
(MORE)
"Surprises"
39.
HEIDI (CONT'D)
That she is fulfilled Daniel.
(half beat)
But with that fulfillment comes the
ying to the yang.
DANIEL
(agreeing)
Yang.
HEIDI
Action, reaction.
(half beat)
Emptiness Daniel. Emptiness.
DANIEL
Gooood.
There is a silent pause as Heidi looks intently at Daniel.
HEIDI
Just like my drink. Empty! Ha ha! Im
just fuckn with ya Daniel!
DANIEL
Ha ha! Phew.. You had me going there.
Shall I get us a refill?
Yes of
"Surprises"
40.
BARBARA
Well look at what the cat dragged in.
Dinners nearly ready. Ill serve up.
Barbara heads to the kitchen to bring in the dinner dishes.
Daniel and Emma speak softly so as not to be overheard.
EMMA
Where have you been?
DANIEL
At the pub.
EMMA
Who with?
DANIEL
A.. Friend.
EMMA
Oh.
buddy?
DANIEL
You are, I just found another one, for
when youre not around.
EMMA
Im always around, where have I got to
go?
DANIEL
You werent around this afternoon.
EMMA
OMG I was practicing my auctioneering
super powers.
"Surprises"
41.
DANIEL
At Damiens?
EMMA
Yes.
"Surprises"
42.
BARBARA
(from the kitchen)
She was also telling me about a
successful auction dry run this
afternoon.
EMMA
(drops microphone)
Boom.
DANIEL
Heidi. Ok so you know.
Barbara returns to the table with some of the dinner dishes.
BARBARA
Know what Daniel?
DANIEL
Nothing.
BARBARA
Well it must be something.
DANIEL
Not to have silly theme days at the
office?
BARBARA
Thats more like it.
Barbara returns to the kitchen to get the final dinner dish.
DANIEL
(mouths silently)
No. 1.
Emma kicks Daniel under the table who yelps silently.
Barbara returns to the table with the final dinner dish.
"Surprises"
43.
BARBARA
Hows the final preparation for the
conference coming along?
Daniel and Emma remain silent.
BARBARA (CONTD)
Well dont all speak at once.
DANIEL
It's fine Mum, Ill take you through it
later this week.
BARBARA
Good.
"Surprises"
44.
THE END