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Essay

by Brian Apodaca

FILE

UNT IT LED_DOCUMENT .PDF (56.81K)

T IME SUBMIT T ED

10-OCT -2016 11:03AM

WORD COUNT

686

SUBMISSION ID

718507519

CHARACT ER COUNT

2908

Missing ","

6
7

Essay
GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE

GENERAL COMMENTS

40

Instructor

/50

PAGE 1

Comment 1
title?

Comment 2
terror

Comment 3
give a clear statement that states whether or not you think there should be an animal bill of
rights

Comment 4
good
PAGE 2

Comment 5
awkward sentence
QM

Missing ","
Missing comma:
T hough it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can of ten help to prevent a
misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that
is logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your
reader to place a comma af ter that introductory element. Such phrases will of ten begin with
words like "because," "while" or "although," as in the f ollowing example: "While everyone was
f ighting, the bear wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be
conf using.

Comment 6
survive

Comment 7
weak evidence
PAGE 3

Comment 8
weak ending

RUBRIC: CCSS 11TH-12TH GRADE ARGUMENT

CLAIM (20%)

4/5

3/5

T he text introduces a clear, arguable claim that can be supported by reasons and evidence.
EXCEPTIONAL
(5)

T he text introduces a compelling claim that is clearly arguable and takes a purposef ul
position on an issue. T he text has a structure and organization that is caref ully
craf ted to support the claim.

SKILLED
(4)

T he text introduces a precise claim that is clearly arguable and takes an identif iable
position on an issue. T he text has an ef f ective structure and organization that is
aligned with the claim.

PROFICIENT
(3)

T he text introduces a claim that is arguable and takes a position. T he text has a
structure and organization that is aligned with the claim.

DEVELOPING
(2)

T he text contains an unclear or emerging claim that suggests a vague position. T he


text attempts a structure and organization to support the position.

INADEQUATE
(1)

T he text contains an unidentif iable claim or vague position. T he text has limited
structure and organization.

DEVELOPMENT (20%)

4/5

T he text provides suf f icient data and evidence to back up the claim while pointing out the strengths and
limitations of both the claim and counterclaim. T he text provides a conclusion that supports the argument.
EXCEPTIONAL
(5)

T he text provides convincing and relevant data and evidence to back up the claim and
skillf ully addresses counterclaims. T he conclusion ef f ectively strengthens the claim
and evidence.

SKILLED
(4)

T he text provides suf f icient and relevant data and evidence to back up the claim and
f airly addresses counterclaims. T he conclusion ef f ectively reinf orces the claim and
evidence.

PROFICIENT
(3)

T he text provides data and evidence to back up the claim and addresses
counterclaims. T he conclusion ties to the claim and evidence.

DEVELOPING
(2)

T he text provides data and evidence that attempt to back up the claim and unclearly
addresses counterclaims or lacks counterclaims. T he conclusion merely restates the
position.

INADEQUATE
(1)

T he text contains limited data and evidence related to the claim and counterclaims or
lacks counterclaims. T he text may f ail to conclude the argument or position.

AUDIENCE (20%)

5/5

T he text anticipates the audience's knowledge level, concerns, values, and possible biases about the claim.
T he text addresses the specif ic needs of the audience.
EXCEPTIONAL
(5)

T he text consistently addresses the audience's knowledge level, concerns, values,


and possible biases about the claim. T he text addresses the specif ic needs of the

audience.
SKILLED
(4)

T he text anticipates the audience's knowledge level, concerns, values, and possible
biases about the claim. T he text addresses the specif ic needs of the audience.

PROFICIENT
(3)

T he text considers the audience's knowledge level, concerns, values, and possible
biases about the claim. T he text addresses the needs of the audience.

DEVELOPING
(2)

T he text illustrates an inconsistent awareness of the audience's knowledge level and


needs.

INADEQUATE
(1)

T he text lacks an awareness of the audience's knowledge level and needs.

COHESION (20%)

4/5

T he text uses words, phrases, and clauses as well as varied syntax to link the major sections of the text,
creates cohesion and clarif ies the relationship between the claim and reasons, between reasons and
evidence, and between claims and counterclaims.
EXCEPTIONAL
(5)

T he text strategically uses words, phrases, and clauses as well as varied syntax to
link the major sections of the text. T he text explains the relationships between the
claim and reasons as well as the evidence. T he text strategically links the
counterclaims to the claim.

SKILLED
(4)

T he text skillf ully uses words, phrases, and clauses as well as varied syntax to link
the major sections of the text. T he text identif ies the relationship between the claim
and reasons as well as the evidence. T he text ef f ectively links the counterclaims to
the claim.

PROFICIENT
(3)

T he text uses words, phrases, and clauses as well as varied syntax to link the major
sections of the text. T he text connects the claim and reasons. T he text links the
counterclaims to the claim.

DEVELOPING
(2)

T he text contains limited words, phrases, and clauses to link the major sections of
the text. T he text attempts to connect the claim and reasons.

INADEQUATE
(1)

T he text contains f ew, if any, words, phrases, and clauses to link the major sections
of the text. T he text does not connect the claims and reasons.

CONVENT IONS (20%)

4/5

T he text presents a f ormal, objective tone that demonstrates standard English conventions of usage and
mechanics while attending to the norms of the discipline (i.e. MLA, APA, etc.).
EXCEPTIONAL
(5)

T he text presents an engaging, f ormal and objective tone. T he text intentionally uses
standard English conventions of usage and mechanics while attending to the norms
of the discipline (i.e. MLA, APA, etc.).

SKILLED
(4)

T he text presents a f ormal, objective tone. T he text demonstrates standard English


conventions of usage and mechanics while attending to the norms of the discipline
(i.e. MLA, APA, etc.).

PROFICIENT
(3)

T he text presents a f ormal tone. T he text demonstrates standard English


conventions of usage and mechanics while attending to the norms of the discipline
(i.e. MLA, APA, etc.).

DEVELOPING
(2)

T he text illustrates a limited awareness of f ormal tone. T he text demonstrates some


accuracy in standard English conventions of usage and mechanics.

INADEQUATE
(1)

T he text illustrates a limited awareness of or inconsistent tone. T he text


demonstrates inaccuracy in standard English conventions of usage and mechanics.