Butt Heads With the Boss
Without Getting Fired
I t takes courage to disagree with the
boss. It also takes some smarts to
do it without getting fired. I didn't
have those smarts some years ago and
so I put my job at risk. Here's what I
learned and want to share.
I was working for one of the big
financial-services companies. One day
my boss, whom we'll call Hank, handed
me a two-page plan. I read it and felt it
wouldn't work. But the boss is smart, I
told myself. He's much more experi-
enced than I am. Putting aside my frus-
tration, I reread the plan, more careful-
ly this time. Once again I came to the
same conclusion. I walked into his
office and said, "Your plan won't work,
Hank." Wrong move!
"Of course it'll work," he said. "Just
do it." "I want to redesign it," I replied.
"No," he said, clearly annoyed.
I left the office crestfallen. As I
reflected on what had happened I real-
ized that I had caused Hank to become
defensive. In effect, I was telling him
he didn't know how to do his job. I had
to take a different tack.
I asked Hank if we could have a
meeting where I could ask him some
questions to help me understand his
plan better. Sure, he said, and we set
the date and time. I came to the meet-
ing with a pen and notepad and asked
Hank what he wanted to achieve with
his plan. He described his objectives.
I asked a series of questions to clarify
my understanding. After making cer-
tain I had grasped Hank's goals, I
summed them up. Success so far: He
understood that I understood.
I told Hank that I thought I could
create a plan that achieved his objec-
tives and asked him if I could return
with it on Friday. He agreed. I exhaled.
The story has a happy ending. We met
that Friday, he accepted my plan, and I
began implementing it that day.
It could easily have gone otherwise.
Here are some do's and don'ts for dis-
agreeing with your boss:
Don't:
• Say you disagree with the boss's
plan. Avoid use of the dreaded word
"but," which might make you appear
as if you're negating everything the
boss has said. Instead, use the word
"suggest." It's a magic word in this
kind of dialogue because no boss
bristles at a suggestion.
• Let your emotions come into play.
Don't present an alternate plan right
away. Ask for a meeting to discuss
the boss's objectives.
Do:
• Start your meeting by asking what
the boss wants to achieve and the
reasons for these goals. Ask open-
ended questions to probe further.
Paraphrase what you've heard to
make sure you got it. Thank the boss
for the information and set a date
for presenting your plan.
• Link your plan to the boss's critical
needs, including any personal ones,
as well as you understand them.
Step into the boss's shoes.
Appreciate what's good about the
boss's road map; you want to get
your plan accepted, not prove the
boss wrong.
• Open the meeting by giving the boss
the floor. You won't get the atten-
tion you need until the boss invites
you to speak. Present your plan
enthusiastically. Make it clear that
it's intended to achieve what the
boss wants. Start with the bottom
line, not with how you'll implement
the plan. Fill in the details only if
you're asked for them. Keep it short;
the boss is busy.
You can't advance your career with-
out having the boss on your side. You
also need the trust and respect of all
the people you interact with at work,
up and down the line and across func-
tions as well.
By Kevin Daley
Your ability to communicate clearly
and persuasively is one of the key fac-
tors that determine career success. This
skill affects your ability to do your job
and the way you're judged as a profes-
sional. It's a particularly important
message for those who may believe that
technical know-how and a strong desire
to succeed are all that's needed.
A high level of skill in presenting
yourself will increase your effectiveness
in a wide range of business situations.
These include:
• reporting on what you've accom-
plished,
• participating in meetings,
• interacting with internal and exter-
nal customers,
• gaining support for your ideas,
• asking your staff for extraordinary
performance,
• securing the cooperation of a peer,
• participating in a team presentation
and speaking before a group as a rep-
resentative of your company.
The lone, isolated contributor is a
rarity in business today. To be success-
ful, it's essential to work with many
people and communicate effectively
with them. On occasion it will be neces-
sary to disagree with someone. Be sure
to do it in a way that produces a posi-
tive outcome.
Mr. Daley is founder and chairman of
Communispond Inc., a communication-
skills training firm based in New York
that teaches presenting, sales and man-
agement. This article is adapted from an
excerpt from "Talk Your Way to the Top"
(McGraw-Hill, September 2000), his
forthcoming book, written with Laura
Daley-Caravella.