Sermon Title .

The Stewardship of the Family

Sermon Text.. Ephesians 5:22 - 6:4
Invocation Scripture. . Gen 2:20-23
Main Idea :

The first and most important

institutions that God created was the
family. There is a clear stewardship
responsibility from God for family.

Objective : To challenge members to realize that they

have a critical responsibility to be good
stewards of their family.

The Stewardship of the Family

Ephesians 5:22 - 6:4
Point I :

The Role . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Eph 5:22-24

Point II :

The Reverence. . . . . . . . . . . . Eph 5:25-33

Point III:

The Reward . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Eph 6:1-4

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The Stewardship of the Family

Ephesians 5:22 - 6:4
Slide 1 Blank screen
We continue today in our Series on Biblical
Stewardship with our second sermon, Stewardship of
Family. Let me remind you again of the four key
principles of Biblical Stewardship.
Slide 2 (fades) 1) Ownership,
2) Responsibility,
3) Accountability,
4) Benefit
Remember, only the Owner has rights! The
Steward has Responsibility (Privileged Responsibility)
Accountability for His Stewardship of the resources
placed in his care, and the Reward and Benefit of
the management of those resources.
We looked last week at the first 3 verses of our text
there in Ephesians 5:22 - 6:24. I made the observation
that if I were Satan, and I wanted to do the most
damage to Gods plan and purpose with the least effort,
that I would attack the family, because it is the first and
most critical institution that God created! It is the most
basic and fundamental, social, political and Economic
entity in existence! Its vitality and success is the
clearest indicator of the cultures health and resilience,
but as it is attacked, redefined and even dismantled, the
destruction of the culture is eminent!
Verses that dont sit very well with the prevailing
attitude of our culture. Verses that are uncomfortable

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for the supposed, educated and enlightened women of

the 21st century, but Words that are from the Very GOD
OF THE Universe who has created all things and who
upholds all things by the word of His power! (Heb 1:3)
We considered the truth that we must come to this
passage in the context of roles, not gender, not
education, not ability... but role. God has assigned the
roles for each to fulfill and has created us physically,
mentally and emotionally to fulfill those roles. In
addition, within these roles there are certain privileges
and responsibilities assigned. We can certainly reject
Gods plan and purpose, and when we do, we receive
the due penalty of our error (Rom1:27) in ourselves
and within our families and thus the impact filters to
every facet of our culture.
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We concluded with 3 clear questions.
1) Do I believe that God knows best... and if so,
2) Will I obey God and fulfil my role in humble
reverence to Him and... and
3) Who will I choose to marry? or if married,
How will I choose to live in my marriage?
That gave us all, much to seriously ponder and digest
over the last week...
We continue today in this Sermon with the 2nd and
3rd points, as we turn our thoughts to the husband father
role.... And to the role of our children. Consider the
truth of the phrase last week that I used, the one that the
men and I had been talking about in our study in James,

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that the husband father was the Leader and Lover of

the family.... We are going to flesh that out today...
Even the secular world, acknowledges the need for
the father! In an Article entitled, Parent-Child
relationships and Childrens Images of God in the
Journal or the Scientific Study of Religion.
Dr. Jane R. Dickie, Dr. Dawn M. Merasco write.
"In the lives of children. God joins company with kings,
superheros ...and on and o n . ~ Child psychiatrist. Robert Coles
(1990) noted that children connect themselves - their race, class,
gender, family experiences, personal experiences - to their
thinking about God. While Coles' work is provocative it does not
systematically explore factors influencing children's perceptions
of God. What does influence children's concepts of God? One
factor suggested in both religious and psychological writing is
the relationship between children and their parents (Birky and
Ball 1987; Gleason 1975; Tamayo and Desjardins 1976;
Vergote 1969; Vergote and Aubert 19721. Justice and Lambert
(1986) compared the words adults used to describe their
childhood recollections of their parents with their current
perceptions of God. They found a correlation between subjects'
images of their fathers and those of God, but no correlation
between their images of mothers and those of God.1

Did you hear that men?... Did you ever imagine the
magnitude of the role we have been called to fulfill?...

Slide 6 - slide will fade to black after 20 seconds

Sigmund Freud stated, I cannot think of any need
in childhood as strong as the need for a father's
protection.
1

Parent-Child relationships and Children's Images of God." Journal for the

Scientific Study of Religion. vol 36 No 1, Mar 1997. by Dr. Jane R. Dickie, Dr.
Dawn M. Merasco.

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So let us move forward with sober thought as we

consider the 2nd point of this sermon, The Reverence
and if we can get there, our third point, the Reward...
Look back then to Ephesians 5 and lets read our text
again.
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< < < Read: Ephesians 5:22-6:4 > > >
Slide 10 - slide will fade to black after 20 seconds
Point II: The Reverence. . . . . . . . . . . . . Eph 5:25-33
OK... would you notice first off today that in last
weeks message, God was able to deal with the ladies
and their role as wife and mother with 3 simple verses.
Count it gentlemen... 3 simple verse.
Note on the other hand, that for us men today, God
has to use over 3xs that many verses! 9 Verses!!!
Note also that God didnt have to tell women that
love was suppose to be a part of the equation of
marriage and of family, but for we men, the Lord has
been compelled to have Paul mention this factor 6 times
even giving two clear example of what that Love was
suppose to look like!! The first one, directly to Himself
and His love for the Church!!! This should be telling us
something about ourselves men!!
Notice that our role has been defined initially
within in the context of the definition of the role that
the woman is called to fulfill. It is not stated directly
here, but the implication in vs 22 is abundantly clear...

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If the wife is suppose to be subject to her husband,

then the clear implication is that her husband is t be
leading the family!! (say that again)
I cant tell you how many times I have counseled
with women who have complained that their husband
would not make a decision, would not provide
leadership in the home. He worked, came home, ate
and buried his nose in the paper or the TV. She and the
children longed for his attention, but he spent more time
with his toys and gave more affection to the dog, than
he did to them.
Listen to me men! A woman can not be subject to
someone who will not make a decision, who wont take
a stand, who wont accept their role!!! And if they
wont, just as with Adam and Eve, when Adam sat
silent as he heard his wife being tempted, when he
failed to take the leadership role, and defend her from
Satan, she took control, ate the apple and gave him
some along with her!! You can be sure that if you
wont take charge, your wife will.
So it is clear that a man is to take the leadership
role if we are going to be good Stewards of the
Family, and if we dont, be sure that the wife will!
Now ladies... listen to me... I asked the question last
week... Do you believe God? Will you obey God?
My wife was quick to point out to me that the dynamics
of what we were reading was for Christians and a
Christian home, and that is true, but the truth of God

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and the command of God is not changed by our choice

of spouse, or our spouses choice to walk with God or in
opposition to God!
I would say especially in the realm of the
spiritual!! But notice that God IMMEDIATELY
defines the CONTEXT from within which that
leadership is exercised.
Ephesians 5:25-33 Husbands, love your wives, just
as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself
up for her
The stewardship of our leadership, MUST be
exercised or carried out in the context of Godly
Love! A love that is willing to sacrifice self, personal
preferences, desires... even our whims, for the sake
of our wife and our family!
Three times over, we are exhorted to love our wife!
Count them with me...
Eph 5;25 Husbands, love your wives
Eph 5:28 So husbands ought also to love their own
wives as their own bodies.
Eph 5:33 Nevertheless, each individual among you
also is to love his own wife even as himself
Listen men, it is of paramount significance that the
Lord Jesus Christ led Paul to exhort men to love their
wife 3 times and to give two clear examples of that
love, the first example being He Himself in the way in

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which He loves His church and was willing to die for it,
and the second, the example of how we love ourselves
based on what we do for ourselves!
In the first case, it is important to think for just a
moment about the statement, for most of us will not be
called to actually physically die to protect our families,
though days like that may well be looming on the
horizon, with the ever growing hostility in our culture
to traditional Biblical Christianity, but also the growing
threat of home-grown terrorist.... That aside, when we
look at this exhortation, I think we would do well to
understand it in the context of Romans 12:1
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Rom 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the
mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living
sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your
reasonable service. KJV
OK... So its one thing to say you would be willing to
die for someone, and I dare say that many of us sitting
here today, men and women alike, would be willing to
lay our life on the alter of sacrifice for the sake of our
spouse or our children!... But beloved, thats the easy
way out. That is a one time event....
The key to the good stewardship of the family, is
DAILY making our life a living sacrifice... and doing
that with holy reverence for God, so that the decisions
and choices that we make reveal to our wife and
children that 1st and foremost, we Love God and we are
committed to Christs call in our life to Faith! By them

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SEEING that faith fleshed out in our choices and our

decisions as a godly man!
Secondly, that ||: they see that they are our number
one EARTHLY priority, that no other woman takes the
place of our wife in our eyes... in our mind... and in our
heart!! That no other event or activity is more
important than they are in our life.:||
Let me say that again men....
She should have NO DOUBT about our love, and
like the Lord showed me last week, while preaching the
first point there in vs 26 where it talks about Christ
cleansing the church by the washing of water and His
Word... Listen men!! we need to shower our wife with
our words, they need to just gush over her like a
waterfall! She should know that we love her by our
words of love, encouragement and affirmation!
But she also has to see those words fleshed out in
actions. When is the last time you held her hand, gave
her a hug, a sincere hug of affirming love, or a gentle
kiss on the cheek, or a back rub with no secondary
expectations, (and I think you know what I mean.)
In the Book, His Needs, Her Needs, by Willard F.
Harley, a noted Psychologist and family therapist, he
presents for us the top 5 needs of men and of women.
The top five for women where Affection,
Conversation, Honesty and Openness, Financial
Support and Family Commitment... What were the
first two? Affection and Conversation. Interesting,
Dr. Harley, could have saved years of time and just

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come right here to Ephesians and seen that Affection,

true genuine selfless love as described by Paul, and the
importance of a husband showering his wife with
words, or Conversation.. Were on her top 5 list!
Listen men, as hard as it is for many of us to
express ourselves in these terms, the truth is, they are
critical in the Stewardship of the Family, because if the
marriage breaks down or struggles, so does everything
it touches!
I dare say that nothing we can do will be more
impacting than consistent, sincere words of affirmation
and genuine, no strings attached, affection, holding
hands, hugs... etc.
Makes me think of that song by Garth Brooks...
If Tomorrow Never comes let me sing you the first
verse and chorus.
Thirdly we need to make sure that our children
know that both of these standards are TRUE and that
they can depend upon these things.
This is the critical FIRST principle in the
Stewardship of family, a strong and stable marriage.
One entered into with sober and sacred thought!!! But
it is also the FRONT line of defense for the Family...
Now listen ladies and youth and children, there is a
role of support that you play in his requirement from
God for your husband, or your Dad to make provision
for you in material terms. His work is a priority
because it makes provision for the family, so just as he
is called to be there for you, you are called to give him

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freedom to give his best and achieve his best in the

context of his vocational calling. You cant place unrealistic expectations on him nor demands that make it
difficult for him to fulfill this role
So the stewardship of the family is two fold for the
husband, he is to be the Leader and the Lover of the
family! Thats a TALL order, one that we cannot
fulfill without Christ in us!! One that takes his very
best on both sides, the home front and the work front!
Now look at verse 27
Ephesians 5:27 that He might present to Himself
the church in all her glory, having no spot or
wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be
holy and blameless.
There is a clear purpose in these words and actions that
strengthen the bond of true intimacy in our marriage.
Just as Christs efforts on behalf of the church allow it
to grow to its fullest, to be all that God wants it to be,
so too, our loving words and actions, give our wife the
freedom to live her fullest for God and come to the
fullness of all that He desires for her to be!
In addition, by loving like Christ, we make it
MUCH easier for her to obey the Lord Jesus Christ in
the calling set forth in vss 22-25!
Having now given the perfect example of Christ
love for the church as a guide for us and as a rational
for our love for our wife, he provides an earthly
example! Look back at our text to vss 28-29...

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(28) So husbands ought also to love their own

wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own
wife loves himself; (29) for no one ever hated his
own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as
Christ also does the church,
Though many of us push our bodies pretty hard
sometimes, we do take care of our bodies, feeding them,
sometimes perhaps a bit more than we should, tending
to our wounds, providing for our needs and comforts...
We are to see to it, that we think of our wife and
her needs, her desires, her comforts and pleasures, just
as we do for our own!!
Its called THOUGHTFULLNESS! Listen men,
we must be thoughtful!! If the truth be known, our
wives are incredibly thoughtful, they remember all the
birthdays, the things that each family member loves to
eat. They know our whims and desires....
Why do you think sports guys and soldiers, when
given the opportunity to talk on radio or TV, say, Hi
Mom... Because mom ALWAYS remembered the
little things in their lives, and was always there for
them.
Listen men, we need to do better in this realm, and
truth is, we can!! We can take care of our tools, our
boats, our fishing rods, our guns and other man toys, we
rub and pet the dog and compliment her, good girl or
good boy, that a boy, etc. etc.
We would do well to look well after the ways of
our own household!! And as Paul exhorts the

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Corinthian Christians in 1 Corinthians 4:2

... moreover, it is required of stewards that one be
found trustworthy. Or as the King James version
translates it... faithful...
Well, Paul cant help but turn this illustration back to
Christ as he reminds us that we are Christs... look back
at vs 30. because we are members of His body. And
He then reveals the Marital Concept of oneness, that
tracks all the way back to Genesis where we started this
whole series...Look at vs 31
(31) FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE
HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE
JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL
BECOME ONE FLESH. (32) This mystery is
great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ
and the church.
He then turns down the burner one notch, and
restates the command is with an aught to tone instead
of a have to tone....
(33) Nevertheless, each individual among you also
is to love his own wife even as himself,
I have said it before, and I say it again... there is a
difference between have to and get to, and the
difference is made by one thing.... love.
Illustrate with park and newspaper

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But ladies... dont miss this last little bit of vs 33... look
what it says...
and the wife must see to it that she respects her
husband.
Wow... That is another critical component of a
marriage decision! How about it ladies... You are to
respect your husband... If you couldnt before you got
married, you wont after. These truths are so important
for us to pass down to your children, to call on our Sons
to be Godly men worthy of respect... better yet, for us
men, to be Godly men that our wives, our sons and our
daughters can respect!
So... gentlemen...
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Love your wife - make your life a living sacrifice for
her and for your children.. Yes.. I said LIVING!
Live with thoughtfulness, think of her, think of
them, put them in the place in your life, that Jesus
Christ put the church in His life!
Shower her and your children with SINCERE, loving
words of affirmation and encouragement, words of
instruction and wisdom, the words of God by reading
the Bible to them, if only a few verses every day. It is a
practice that will pay untold dividends in their lives!!
This is the call of the Stewardship of Family from the
Mans perspective!

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Hear me now.. Hear me... No great trust is placed in

our hands, than the trust of Family! It is the greatest
Responsibility that God gives us to share with Him in,
to be His steward of.... and as such, it can pay the
highest of rewards, or... hear me.. Hear me... it can
exact the most grievous toll...
Its success and well-being rests squarely on our
shoulders men....
How will we handle this great Responsibility, for even
before we stand in the presence of Christ,
Accountability for our management of family, will stare
us square in the face, through our children and
grandchildren and the society that we spawn.
Let us pray

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Point III: The Reward .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Eph 6:1-4
Theodore M. Hesburgh has well said, The most
important thing that a father can do for his children is
to love their mother.

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(Eph 6:1-4 NASB) Children, obey your parents in the

Lord, for this is right. {2} HONOR YOUR FATHER
AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with
a promise), {3} THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH
YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE
EARTH. {4} And, fathers, do not provoke your
children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline
and instruction of the Lord.

Seven Important Elements of Good Family

Stewardship
1) Daily Family Meals
This is one of the most important family events that can
occur. I strongly encourage the use of Open Windows
SBC devotional.
2) Focused Family Time Together
The family sets aside specific times of undistracted time
together like for recreation, for board games, or other
ways they can interact directly, talk, share thoughts
feelings, laugh and enjoy one anothers company.
3) Family Bible Reading
The family has a set time for Bible Reading. Dad and

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Mom can alternate this, but both need to be fully

engaged. As the children get older and learn to read,
they can be invited to do part of the reading
4) Family Prayer
The family has a set time (daily or weekly) for prayer as
a family-all there, all together, all praying. Dad should
lead the prayer time, when the children are very young,
keep it short, and focused on very tangible things the
children deal with every day. As they grow so too will
the prayer time.
5) Worship Together
The family attends church together and worships
together. It is important for children to see how their
parents worship, they will learn from your example,
whether engaged or detached. This does not mean that
there can not be specific focus times for special
childrens ministry events or youth ministry events, but
the family should worship together at least once a week
and more if possible.
6) Support One Another
Members of a family may still have varied interests and
be involved in a variety of activities. Nevertheless, it is
important for each member to find the time to be
present to support siblings and parents and children at
their particular activities and events.

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7) Shared Responsibilities
Children should learn that they have an investment in
the family. Keep their room clean, Do Dishes, Take out
the Trash, Wash the Car, Vacuum, Dust, wash clothes,
etc. Tasks should be age appropriate. We are looking
for each to step forward and say "Let me help," or "I'll
do that," not "That's not my job," or "It's not my turn to
do that."
8) Respect
The family agrees that they must show respect and
regard for one another. In the event it is not shown,
other members of the family need to intercede to try to
bring the two or three who are lacking this regard for
one another to an understanding of where they have
failed.
9) Service to Others
Families need to find ways that they can serve others as
a family, and as part of a family activity. Working
together at a mission or a soup kitchen or in similar
charitable acts is excellent. This does not mean that
each individual cannot and should not provide service
on his or her own, but there should be times when they
do it as a .