Mahler and Women - A Newly Discovered Document

The Musical Quarterly Advance Access published June 24, 2014
Natalie Bauer-Lechner on Mahler and

Women: A Newly Discovered Document
Morten Solvik and Stephen E. Hefling
To Henry-Louis de La Grange, in gratitude and admiration
It is only a seeming contradiction that my entire earlier life vanished from

me with the writing down of what was heard and experienced. For at that
point I made it my businessand have gone through a strict school in this
doi:10.1093/musqtl/gdu002
1 54
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Truly intimate portraits of composers are as invaluable as they are rare.

Occasionally, sources reveal subjects in candid detail, sharing their views
with caring and comprehending contemporaries in whom they placed
their trust. Among all such sources pertaining to Gustav Mahler, none has
proven more informative and significant than the recollections and reflections of Natalie Bauer-Lechner (1858 1921), a woman keenly devoted to
the composer, who kept a detailed diary during the roughly ten years of
their deep friendship between 1890 and 1901. An accomplished violinist
and violist who had met Mahler while he was student at the Conservatory,
Bauer-Lechner went on to have a distinguished career as a member of the
Soldat-Roeger String Quartet; she became a close acquaintance of Mahler
and his siblings, often accompanying them on summer holidays. Hundreds
of handwritten pages (many of which are lost or destroyed) document
their encounters and conversations, sometimes preserving Mahlers words
verbatim. Bauer-Lechners journal constitutes a singular achievement,
reflecting a considerable presence of mind about her privileged access to a
man who, she was profoundly convinced, was endowed with uncommon
musical genius.
Fortunately for us, Bauer-Lechner also possessed remarkable attributes
appropriate to the task: an almost obsessive need to write down her
impressions, an objectivity driven by an awareness of history peering over
her shoulder, and, as a professional musician, a considerable capacity to
follow the composers thoughts into the world of inspiration and creativity.
In her 1907 book Fragmente, a collection of observations on a host of
topics ranging from literature to hygiene, from socialism to sexuality,
Bauer-Lechner straightforwardly sets forth her goals as a chronicler:
Page 2 of 54 The Musical Quarterly
regardnot only to leave aside all subjectivity in communication and representation, but also to write down only what was of objective and general
interest that took place in my and anothers purpose in life, that in it
which, if I may call it this, was typical, universally valid and universally
edifying, but once and for all to eliminate and stand aloof from the purely
personal.
. . . It is the preference, but also the duty of a relatively even-tempered,
less passionate disposition that it mirrors the world and humanity more
truly and purely, not contorted and distorted by subjective passion.1
Today I have to write to Natalie Bauer, there is quite a commotion in the

assembly that she could publish her recollections, that would be a catastrophe. Fritz Lohr [a close family friend] has told me that he would be
capable of committing a crime to prevent it. Now, I want to make the suggestion that I go through the things with her and take the occasion to
make clear to her Gustavs position on the publication of such things. We
Despite the impossibility of such Olympian objectivity (which she

admits), Bauer-Lechners recollections largely avoid superfluous commentary or idle chatter and focus almost exclusively on Mahlers art, his state
of mind when writing music, his reflections on other works and composers, and his frustration with audiences and critics.
Mahler was possibly aware of what Bauer-Lechner was up to, and
perhaps not a little flattered. Her model was Johann Peter Eckermann
(17921854), Goethes amanuensis, who went on to publish his interactions with Mahlers favorite author in Gesprache mit Goethe in den letzten
Jahren seines Lebens (1836). Bauer-Lechner, too, would assemble her
impressions of her famous friend for publication after his passing, although
no book would appear in print until two years after her own death.
Erinnerungen an Gustav Mahler, edited by Johann Killian, the husband of
Bauer-Lechners niece, Friederike, came out in 1923. We know from surviving evidence that this book represents a selection and rearrangement
of passages written in Bauer-Lechners diary and that much of what was
originally recorded is missing from these pages. A later edition of the
Erinnerungen, released in 1984 by Herbert Killian (Johanns son), provides
some additional material, although considerably more remains unpublished.2
Bauer-Lechner was under substantial pressure, especially from
Mahlers wife, Alma, and his sister, Justine, to refrain from publishing intimate details about the life of their cherished husband and brother.
Moreover, virtually everyone else mentioned in the diary was still alive
and potentially uncomfortable about what might be revealed. As Justine
writes to Alma in June 1911, just a few weeks after Mahlers death:
Natalie Bauer-Lechner on Mahler and Women Page 3 of 54
have all agreed to bombard her with letters so that this will not come to
pass.3
Figure 1. Page 1 of Natalie Bauer-Lechners letter to Hans Riehl. Osterreichische

NB), Vienna: Mus.Hs.44.626. Reproduced by permission.
Nationalbibliothek (O
In the event, Bauer-Lechner respected their reservations and published

only a few short segments of her Mahleriana during her lifetime.4
Nevertheless, she was unquestionably planning that an extensive compilation from these memoirs would appear 20 years after my death (if not
earlier?), according to her last will and testament.5 For a number of years,
her partner in this project was Hans Riehl (18911965). Riehl is explicitly
mentioned in this capacity in Bauer-Lechners will, which also refers to
an added supplementary letter about Mahler directed to Hans Riehl, in
his possession.6 This is probably the same document reproduced here,
which is dated Febr. 1917 (fig. 1). Just why Killian, rather than Riehl,
published the abridged 1923 Erinnerungen has yet to be clarified,
although family rights may have prevailed. Still, given Bauer-Lechners
(and Mahlers) generally liberal and progressive sociopolitical orientation,

it gives one pause to learn that Riehl, who became a leading sociologist in
Austria, later helped found the Neue Galerie in Graz during the Nazi era
and considerably expanded that collection by means of confiscated art.7
Having served as a propagandist for the right-wing Heimwehr in the
1920s, Riehl joined the Nazi Party in 1938.8 It seems a strange twist of
fate that Bauer-Lechner, who in her will thanks providence for the privilege of being intimately acquainted with two Jewish-born geniuses, Gustav
Mahler and Siegfried Lipiner, would entrust her most cherished literary
and personal legacy to a seemingly promising young man who would
plunge headlong into a catastrophe so diametrically opposed to all she
believed in.
Nevertheless, it is thanks to Riehl that, just four years before her
death, Bauer-Lechner penned this sixty-page document, which unquestionably sheds new light on Mahlers personality and private life.9 The
newly discovered letter begins with an apologia, laying out the need for
such biographical information to avoid creating an obvious lacuna in the
knowledge of a great artist (she explicitly cites the open questions surrounding Beethoven in this regard) while expressing obvious discomfort at
revealing intimate details from the life of someone she had known so well.
Rather than incorporating such information into her Mahleriana, which
she had turned over to Riehl in December 1916, Bauer-Lechner found it
best to record what she knew about this delicate topic in the letter,
leaving it to future generations to decide how its content should best be
handled. In our opinion, the time has come for its publication, not for
Sensationslust, but to provide an opportunity for an informed consideration
of its content and implications. A number of important observations
emerge from these pages, observations that will serve to refine our understanding of Mahler as a human being and of Bauer-Lechner as a keen and
not so dispassionate observer of Mahlers life.
As for historical fact, there are not many revelations. Mahlers love
interests have been largely documented or implied in other sources, in
most cases more or less as we find them here. Marion von Weber, Anna
von Mildenburg, Selma Kurz, and others all find mention in more recent
Mahler biographies. What Bauer-Lechners letter brings to the record is a
running narrative that not only corroborates these liaisons firsthand but
also sheds more nuanced light than heretofore available on the emotional
character of Mahler, his reactions to difficult interpersonal situations, his
sometimes fickle nature, even his views on sexuality. She contextualizes
all this within the popular reception of Mahler during his lifetime
and seeks to explain the complex man behind the flirtatious reputation
that circulated among gossipmongers of that time. According to
Bauer-Lechner, Mahler was gripped by a deeply rooted asceticism that

won over his spirit at an early age as a defense against a strongly sensual
nature, all the more, perhaps, because there was in him considerable
inconstancy and unreliability when it came to his procilivities for people.
Further, in keeping with his contradictory nature, it was precisely his
reserved and extremely chaste lifestyle that made him so needy and kept
him in a state of perpetual infatuation.
Two individuals loom larger than all the biographical detail the
letter presents: Justine Mahler and Natalie Bauer-Lechner herself. The
detailed vignettes of Mahlers sister in these pages constitute a unique perspective on the woman who played such a pivotal role in the composers
life before his marriage to Alma Schindler in 1902. It is not a flattering
portrait. Justi, as she is called, emerges as a dragon at the lair keeping all
potential mates at a distance from her beloved brother, thereby exacerbating Mahlers already excitable emotional state and perpetuating an
unnatural, quasi-incestual union between brother and sister. BauerLechner makes no secret of her opposition to this arrangement. On the
one hand, her views of love and marriage embraced an ideology regarded
as rather progressive at that time. Estranged, then divorced from her
husband after a disastrous marriage begun at the age of seventeen, BauerLechner never returned to matrimony, espousing instead a somewhat
idealistic view of love and lovemaking considered by many scandalous in
its day. She openly refers to higher forces operating above human morality,
attributing the inspiration for this perspective to a long-term relationship
with Siegfried Lipiner. Lipiner, for his part, seemed equally open-minded:
his first wife went on to marry Albert Spiegler; Lipiners second wife was
Spieglers sister (during which marriage his liaison with Anna von
Mildenburg was an open secret). From the content of this letter, it seems
they all remained great friends.
The second motivation for Natalies railing against Justines obstructionism was her own infatuation with Mahler. This attachment to my
Gustav, as she occasionally calls him here, is also apparent in the
Recollections when at times her enthusiasm exceeds professional respect,
friendly admiration, or even outright awe. Certain loving details that she
presents make it difficult not to sense an emotional involvement with her
subject. But what one might merely suspect in reading the heretofore published sources is explicitly revealed in this letter: her romantic interaction
with Mahler, the one aspect of their relationship that she deliberately suppressed elsewhere. The details of this liaison may surprise many readers,
and it raises questions about the composer and how we have come to
understand him through her eyes.
But I certainly confess to you that Natalies coming is absolutely abhorrent

to me. Apart from the matter in question (or perhaps precisely because of it),
I detest the constant mothering, browbeating, inspecting, and spying. I
wouldnt take it this year.10
The level of detail (which can often be corroborated by other

sources), and the candor and immediacy that fill the pages of the
Recollections have convinced almost all Mahler experts of the veracity of
Bauer-Lechners account. Indeed, the break in their relationship in 1901
has often been bemoaned by chroniclers of Mahlers life as a significant loss
to the historical record, for after that point we no longer have a running
account of such revealing conversations in the composers life. BauerLechner herself poignantly anticipates this in the last episode of the letter
to Riehl. But does the nature of their relationship, as it has now been
revealed, compromise Bauer-Lechners credibility? Does their intimacy call
into question the trustworthiness of her testimony? If so, it would be a
major blow to the long line of Mahler scholars, including the present
writers, who have come to accept her accounts as essentially reliable.
This letter is not without factual errors; in 1917, Bauer-Lechner was
not yet sixty, but the years of the Great War had been difficult, and at
times her memory appears to fail her. Thus, for example, Leander is not
the poet of Lieder eines fahrenden Gesellen, Mahlers dry spell ending
around 1892 did not last ten years, and Marie Renard did not sing
Puccinis La Bohe`me at the Hofoper under Mahler. Then there are interpretive questions. Was Mahlers depressed state during Bauer-Lechners
visit to Budapest in 1890 entirely attributable to the failed love affair with
Marion von Weber two and one-half years earlier, as she claims? In the
context of explaining this, Bauer-Lechner makes no mention of the
deaths of Mahlers sister Leopoldine and both of his parents the previous
year, the difficulties he was having in organizing family life for the surviving siblings, or his troubles with the management at the Budapest Opera.
She also seems to accept as fact that Mahler and Anna von Mildenburg
never consummated their relationship, completely suppressing the likelihood that Mildenburg simply denied something she did not want posterity
to know about.
Bauer-Lechners account seems weakest, however, when she tries to
explain her own fate in the course of Mahlers life. Putting the onus on
Justines pathological jealousy may have enabled her to preserve the illusion that her great love had been thwarted by external circumstance and
the petty interference of his sisters uncomprehending small-mindedness.
But how did she come to terms with all the evidence that suggested otherwise? Here Mahler writes to Justine in preparing for the summer vacation
at Steinbach am Attersee in 1894:
I go walking diligently. . . . Alone and with Natalie. . . . That people

gossip about it, as they talk about everything, is immaterial to me. One
cannot avoid it; after all, its better than if it were [Rita] Michalek or
[Selma] Kurz.12
Given what we now know, confusion about the status of their relationship
can no longer be attributed solely to Bauer-Lechners wishful thinking.
Ultimately, it must be left to the reader to assess how BauerLechners inner emotions, personal agenda, and self-conception as an eyewitness may have biased her view of Mahler. Yet one point seems worth
mentioning. Despite the disparity in their feelings for each other and
whatever disappointment this may have caused, Bauer-Lechner persisted
in her account with unwavering devotion, seeing her emotional investment as subordinate to the historical project she had taken upon herself;
she maintained her chronicle up through the first Viennese performance
of Mahlers Fourth Symphony on 12 January 1902, even though she knew
he had been engaged to Alma for several weeks. As Bauer-Lechner so
poetically writes to Riehl, the result traces the story of Mahlers genius
and, sprinkled in there, the quiet deeds of my happiness in sacrificial
love. She could not remove herself from the story she told, but the deep
involvement that surfaces here makes her accomplishment all the more
noteworthy. We can continue to remain grateful for Bauer-Lechners
sense of duty to bear honest testimony, even if she could never completely succeed.
Editors Note: Although the manuscript is in good condition, BauerLechners habit of revising and re-revising has left certain passages difficult
to decipher. For the present edition, a diplomatic rendering of insertions
That these sentiments did not remain hidden from Bauer-Lechner seems
clear, as indicated in the following remarks Mahler wrote to Justine in
early September 1901: Its starting again with Natalie. It hurts me
terribly, but now I must tell her the unvarnished truth and, of course,
shatter her. But I hope shell soon be helped back on her feet again.11
Interestingly, this is the last mention of Natalie in the family letters.
Mahler was to meet Alma a few weeks later at the salon of Bertha
Zuckerkandl, but the break seems to have preceded this event and was no
doubt precipitated by Bauer-Lechners euphoric hope in the wake of the
lovemaking episode at Worthersee just a few weeks earlier.
In fairness to Bauer-Lechner, Mahler was clearly capable of enjoying
her company and valued their friendship. Just days prior to the letter cited
above, Mahler writes to his sister defending Natalie in the face of criticism
behind her back, and continues:
and crossings-out has been put aside in favor of what seems to be the
latest layer of text. The only exception to this is a handful of marginal
notes that the author inserted by way of her own cues; these are rendered
with a caret ( ) at the beginning and end of the passages in question. The
authors original German orthography, which includes such idiosyncracies
as andern (for anderen), has been preserved throughout, except for
the abbreviations m
and n
, which have been rendered as mm and
nn. Bauer-Lechner also included some footnotes, which appear at the
bottom of their respective pages; the manuscripts page numbers are given
in square brackets. Bauer-Lechner numbered page 57 twice, apparently as
a result of substituting two pages for the original 57; these are indicated
here as 57/1 and 57/2, respectively. Editorial annotations appear as
endnotes.
Morten Solviks research focuses on the tantalizing connections between music and
culture, especially with regard to Gustav Mahler and the turn of the century. Essays on
Mahler have appeared in The Mahler Companion (2002), Perspectives on Gustav Mahler
(2005), and the Cambridge Companion to Mahler (2007). He has contributed to several
recent television documentaries on Mahler and is the co-editor of Mahler im Kontext/
Contextualizing Mahler (2011). A member of the Board of the International Gustav
Mahler Society and the Editorial Board of the Critical Edition of Gustav Mahlers works,
Solvik serves as the Center Director of IES Abroad Vienna where he also teaches music
history. E-mail: msolvik@iesvienna.org
Stephen E. Hefling, Professor of Music at Case Western Reserve University, is the codirector of Gustav Mahler: Neue Kritische Gesamtausgabe, for which he recently revised
Mahlers autograph piano version of Das Lied von der Erde (2012). He also serves on the
board of the International Gustav Mahler Society in Vienna. Hefling is the author of
Gustav Mahler: Das Lied von der Erde (2000), editor of Mahler Studies (1997), and has published over twenty-five articles and book chapters on the life and works of Gustav Mahler.
E-mail: seh7@case.edu
1. Bauer-Lechner, Fragmente: Gelerntes und Gelebtes (Vienna: Rudolf Lechner & Sohn,
1907), 16 and 107.
2. The present authors, along with Thomas Hampson, are currently engaged in a
project to gather and present in print Natalies recollections, Mahleriana, to the fullest
extent possible. The current English version, Recollections of Gustav Mahler, trans. Dika
Newlin, ed. Peter Franklin (New York: Cambridge University Press, 1980), is largely
based on the German edition of 1923.
3. Justine Rose to Alma Mahler, 8 June 1911, quoted in Andreas Michalek, Justine
Rose: Drei Briefe an Alma Mahler-Werfel, Nachrichten zur Mahler-Forschung 56
(Autumn 2007): 4142; English trans. in News About Mahler Research 56 (Winter 2008):
4041.
Notes
4. Excerpts from her diaries appeared anonymously in Der Merker 3, no. 5 (1912):
184 88, and under her name in Musikblatter des Anbruch 2, nos. 78 (1920): 3069.
5. Typescript copy, n.d., at the Mediathe`que Musicale Mahler, Paris: Die
Erinnerungen an Gustav Mahler . . . sind . . . 20 Jahre nach meinem Tod herauszugeben.
(wenn nicht fruher?).
6. [. . .] ein nachgetragener und erganzender Brief uber Mahler, an Hans Riehl
gerichtet, in dessen Besitz.
7. See Karin Leitner-Ruhe et al., eds., Restitution (Graz: Universalmuseum Joanneum,
2010), 1718, 92 93, 135 40, passim.
8. See Biographie Hans Riehl, Archiv fur die Geschichte der Soziologie in
sterreich, http://agso.uni-graz.at/bestand/11_agsoe/index.htm.
O
10. Letter of 6 May 1894, in The Mahler Family Letters, ed., trans., and annotated by
Stephen McClatchie (New York: Oxford University Press, 2006), 279; German edition:
Gustav Mahler: Liebste Justi! Briefe an die Familie, ed. Stephen McClatchie, redacted by
Helmut Brenner (Bonn: Weidle Verlag, 2006), 388.
11. Mahler to Justine, Family Letters, 359; Briefe, 490.
12. Mahler to Justine, 3 September 1901, Family Letters, 350; Briefe, 477 78.
9. Recent acquisition of the Music Collection of the Austrian National Library,

Mus.Hs.44.626, from a previous private owner.
Wie ich durch Albine Adler erfuhr, soll Mahlers erste Liebe, zur Tochter des IglauerPostmeisters, eine auerst lebendige & innige gewesen sein.* Sie spielte sich in den
heimischen Ferien zur Wiener-Konservatoriumszeit ab. [3] Ich erinnere mich nur,
da mir Gustav einmal von dem Verhaltnis zu einem Iglauer-Madchen sagtewas
llung
sich wahrscheinlich darauf bezog: ,,Und solche gesunde Lebensfreude & -Erfu
hren,
war nur dazu da, dem jungen Menschen die notwendige Nahrung zuzufu
welche er zur kraftigen Entwicklung seines Korpers & Geistes brauchte.
Von seinem spatern Lieben tat mir Mahler die erste Erwahnung aus Kael,
als er am Hoftheater daselbst Kapellmeister war. Und hier hatten es ihm gleich
zwei Sangerinnen aufs Heftigste angetan. Die Eine schwarz, die Andre blond
(so glaub ich erzahlte er mir), die Eine sanft, die Andre bewegt & erregt, stellten
sie die volligste Gegensatzlichkeit dar. Wie leidenschaftlich ihn diese [4]
Neigungen ergriffen, bezeugen mehrere aus den ,,Liedern eines fahrenden
Gesellen, wo auch das Wort, unter dem Pseudonym Leander, von ihm ist. ,,Die 2
*
Albine Adler, die intimste Jugendfreundin Justi Mahlers, war dem Mahlerschen Hause treuest
nn
anhanglich. Doch stand sie vollig im Bann Justinens, mit der sie, ohne Wahl durch dick & du
ging. Erst nach Mahlers Tod schwang sich Albi zu einiger Selbstandigkeit auf.
[Page 1]
ber Mahlers Lieben an Hans Riehl von Natalie Bauer-Lechner)
(Brief u
Febr. 1917.
Mein liebster Hans!
nschtest, ich sollte als Erganzung zu meinen Mahler-Erinnerungen, auch
Du wu
ber sein Lieben zu Frauen bekannt ist; da Du der
das schriftlich mitteilen, was mir u
rfe diese bedeutsamste Seite des menschlichen
gewi richtigen Meinung bist, man du
Lebens nicht ausschlieen. Auch wiesest Du darauf hin, welche Unklarheit, ja
Verwirrung in die Aufzeichnungen von Beethovens Lebensgang die groe
Unkenntnis, der ihm leidenschaftlich geliebten Frauen, gebracht habe.Mich hinwiderum hielt Empfindung & Erwagung von solchen Mitteilungen ab, da
Personlichstes nicht vor fremde Ohren gehore, & es hatte mir wie Verrat geschienen,
das was ich aus Mahlers Mund, oder durch eigenes Miterleben & Beteiligtsein hierber wute, in meinen Erinnerungen [2] Preis zu geben. Doch da kam mir der
u
test: Ich wollte Dir in Briefform
Gedanke eines Auswegs, den Du freudig begru
schreiben, was ich Bedenken getragen meinem Werk einzuverleiben; & Du solltest
wenn Du auch die vervollstandigenden Dokumente in Worten & Briefen gesammelt,
ck-weisesden Gebrauch von diesen
denn mein Wissen ist nur ein Bruchstu
Mitteilungen machen, welcher Dir, & andern berufenen Nachlebenden, wichtig &
richtig erschiene.
As I found out from Albine Adler,2 Mahlers first lovefor the daughter of the Iglau
postmaster3was apparently very vibrant and deeply felt.* This took its course
during his vacations at home while attending the Vienna Conservatory.4 [3] I only
remember that Gustav once told me about a relationship with a girl from Iglau, which
probably referred to this, saying: And such healthy love of life and fulfillment was
only there in order to provide the young man with the necessary nourishment that he
needed for the firm development of his body and mind.
Of his later loves, the first Mahler mentioned was one from Kassel, while he was
a conductor at the Court Theater there.5 And here he had seriously fallen for two
singers at once: one with black hair, the other blond (I think he told me); the one
gentle, the other excitable and excitedconstituting absolute opposites of each
other. How passionately these [4] affections seized him is testified by several of the
Lieder eines fahrenden Gesellen, where the text stems from him under the pseudonym
of Leander.6 These include Die 2 blauen Augen von meinem Schatz [The two blue
Albine Adler, Justi Mahlers closest girlhood friend, was most devoted to the Mahler household, yet
she was fully under the spell of Justine, whom she loyally and blindly followed through thick and thin.
Only after Mahlers death was Albi able to achieve a certain degree of independence.
[Page 1]
(Letter about Mahlers Loves to Hans Riehl by Natalie Bauer-Lechner)
Feb. 1917.
My dearest Hans!1
You requested that as a supplement to my recollections of Mahler I should also
report in writing what I know about his love of women, since you are of the assuredly
correct opinion that one may not exclude this most significant side of human life. You
also pointed out the lack of clarity, indeed confusion, that the vast ignorance about the
women passionately loved by Beethoven has brought into the accounts of his life. On
the other hand, feeling and reflection held me back from making such revelations since
that which is most personal should not reach strangers ears, and it would have seemed
to me like betrayal to divulge in my recollections what I knew about this from Mahlers
lips or my own experience and participation. [2] But then there came to me the idea of
a way out, which you happily welcomed: I would write to you in the form of a letter
that which I had misgivings about incorporating into my work, andonce you had
collected the complete documents in words and letters, for my knowledge is only
fragmentaryyou would make use of this information in a manner that you and others
so appointed in future generations find relevant and appropriate.
,,Ging heut Morgen ubers Feld,

Ist das eine schone Welt. . . .
das ihm von den seligen Lippen stromte.*
Nicht viel mehr als an die Tatsache erinnere ich mich leider, der jedenfalls viel
bedeutungsvolleren Liebe Mahlers zu einem jungen Wesen (ich wei nicht,
warum mir immer vorschwebt, einer [6] Forsterstochter?) mit dem es, von Prag
hrte. Der Name der Braut, gleichwie die
oder Leipzig aus (?) sogar zur Verlobung fu
rften ja nicht schwer zu ermitteln sein, da die
nahern Umstande dieses Bundes, du
Betreffende wol noch lebt & sicher auch im Besitz von Mahlers Briefen ist.** Ich
wei nur, da er mir eigentlich erst aus der Zeit, als es mit dieser Liebe schon vorbei
war, davon berichtete: Er hatte Frau Weber in Leipzig seine Besorgnis &
ber das zu erfu
llende Verlobnis geklagt, die ihm aufs Lebhafteste
Unsicherheit u
rs Leben zu binden. Und Gustav folgte nur
abriet, sich unter solchen Umstanden fu
zu gerne dieser Weisung. Zur Strafe aber legte er sichs auf, nicht schriftlich, sondern
durch sein eigenes Wort die Verlobung zu losen, womit er dem Madchen, das ihn
gt. Doch heiratete sie spater einen
herzlich liebte, gewi noch Schwereres zugefu
Andern; hat aber [7] zum Beweis alter Anhanglichkeit, spater Mahler (in Pest?)
nocheinmal besucht.
llung ihm Jahre
Mahlers tiefste & innigste Liebe (aus deren Nichterfu
tiefsten Leids erwachsen) ging ihm in Leipzig auf: In der Gattin des Enkels Karls
*
( & das sich nachher aus dem Lied zum herrlichen Thema seiner I. Symphonie erweiterte).
(Oder ware sie gar identisch mit der Iglauer-Postmeisterstochter? Und Gustav hatte, nur aus
Discretion gegen sie, eine ,,Forsterstochter draus gemacht?)
**
hend Meer in meiner

blauen Augen von meinem Schatz &: ,,Ich hab ein glu
tterndsten Tonen rast, gehoren
Brust, worin die Eifersucht in den wildsten, erschu
dazu. Auch hat er zwei unkomponierte Texte aus jener Zeit (:,,Es starrt die Sphinx
mit schwarzen Ratselaugen, beginnt das eine), die seine Leidenschaft zum
Gegenstand haben, mir spater in Hamburg geschenkt; sie sind in meinen
Mahlererinnerungen erhalten. Auer zu Begeisterung & Herzensqualen scheint
aber diese Doppelneigung zu Nichts gefuhrt zu haben. Zum Schlusagte mir
Gustavhab ihm die Eine seiner Flammen gestanden: Er hatte bei ihr mehr [5]
ck gehabt, wenn er sie allein & nicht auch die Andre ins Herz geschloen
Glu
rde!
haben wu
Von der ,,Leidenschaft, die Leiden schafft, in die er doppelt tief verstrickt
hlingsmorgens, als er im leuchtenden Sonnenschein
gewesen, geno er aber eines Fru
henden Au sich erging, & im Entzu
cken u
ber die ihm so hei geliebte
in der blu
ckt, den Freuden der
Natur, wie mit einem Zauberschlag sich allen Schmerzen entru
hlte. Und hinreiender konnt es nicht zum
Schopfung aber wiedergeschenkt fu
Ausdruck gebracht sein, als in dem jubelnden Lenzeslied:
Went out this morning over the field

Isnt it a beautiful world. . . .
that flowed from his blessed lips.*,8

Unfortunately, I do not remember much more than simply the fact of a love far more
important to Mahler for a young creature from Prague or Leipzig (?) (I do not know
why I keep thinking it was the [6] daughter of a forest warden?) with whom the
matter even led to an engagement.9 The name of the bride-to-be as well as the
further particulars of this bond ought not be difficult to uncover, since the person in
question is probably still alive and also certainly in possession of Mahlers letters.** I
only know that he told me, at a time when this love was long over, that he had complained to Frau Weber10 in Leipzig about his worries and insecurity about fulfilling
the engagement, and that she had most emphatically advised him against committing
himself for a lifetime under such circumstances. Gustav was only too happy to follow
this advice. As punishment, however, he took it upon himself to break the engagement in person rather than in writing, thereby inflicting more pain on the girl, who
loved him very much. She later married someone else but [7] subsequently visited
Mahler one more time (in Pest?)11 as a sign of her former attachment.
Mahlers deepest and most heartfelt love (which in its nonfulfillment caused
him years of pain) befell him in Leipzig: the wife of the grandson of Carl
(and that later expanded from the song into the magnificent theme of his First Symphony).
(Or is she perhaps identical with the postmasters daughter in Iglau, and Gustav was simply
turning her into the forest wardens daughter for the sake of discretion?)
**
hend Messer in meiner Brust [I have a

eyes of my beloved] and Ich hab ein glu
glowing knife in my chest], in which jealousy rages in the wildest, most jarring tones.
There are also two texts from this time that he did not set to music (one begins: Es
starrt die Sphinx mit schwarzen Ratselaugen [The Sphinx stares with black riddling
eyes], which were inspired by his ardor and which he later gave to me as a present in
Hamburg; they are included in my Mahler recollections.7 Other than rapture and
heartache, it seems this double infatuation led to nothing. In the end, my Gustav
said, one of his flames admitted that he would have had more [5] luck with her if he
had taken only her and not also the other into his heart!
But in the passion that provokes suffering [Leidenschaft, die Leiden schafft]
which entangled him twice over he also found that, one spring morning as he walked
across the blooming meadow in radiant sunshine, delighting in the nature he loved so
deeply, as if by a stroke of magic all the pain disappeared, and he felt blessed again in
the joys of creation. And this could not be expressed more enchantingly than in the
joyous song of spring:
Siehe meine Mahlererinnerungen Bnd. 29.

(ich glaube dies war der Name ? der unter ihrem Bildnis stand, das ich durch Jahre auf
Mahlers Schreibtisch sah).
**
rdig-ernste, hochkultivierte & ungemein

Maria von Weber.Sie war eine liebenswu
musikalische Frau, zu der sich Gustav durch Geistes & Seelenbanden hingezogen
hlteerst ahnungslos, bis zum Erwachen des leidenschaftlichsten Bewusstseins &
fu
hrt wurden sie im auern Brennpunkt der Musik. Den
Verlangens.Zusammengefu
herrlichen Leistungen Mahlers kam sie, selbst eine treffliche Pianistin, im hochsten
Sinn entgegen. Innerlich fand er sich der um 9 Jahre altern, lebensgewandten holden
tterlichem Sorgen seine Bedu
rfnisse ersah &
Frau, die in weiblich-warmem [8] fast mu
llte, gleich herzlich zugenahert. Ungemein wohl fu
hlte er sich in ihrem durch 3
erfu
ndchen) heiter belebten Hause. Den Kleinen, deren
anmutige Kinder (& einem Hu
jedes Einzelne hei an ihm hing, komponierte er einen Kreis von Liedern: ,,Um
schlimme Kinder artig zu machen. Mit Weber verbanden ihn die Skizzen Carl Marias
rdig ausfu
hrte, wahrend Ersterer den
zu den ,,3 Pintos, welche Gustav bewundernswu
Text erganztesofern ihn nicht Gustav selbst, ohne viel zu fragen, seinen eigenen
rfnisen & dichterischen Wu
nschen anpate. Damals entstand
musikalischen Bedu
r mich ein
auch Mahlers I. Symphonie: ,,Denn zu jener Zeit hatte die Welt fu
Lochwie ers, noch nach so vielen Jahren, mir in freudiger Erinnerung nannte:*
,,Ich war vor Begeisterung & Beseeligung in die hochsten Himmel getragen, lie meine
ckte
Schaffenskraft [9] ins Unendliche wachsen. Sein Werk fand verstehende, entzu
ckweis zu den Freunden trug & es
Aufnahme, als er es, noch na von der Feder, stu
gel aus der Taufe
unter deren Beistand, wo seine 2 Hande nicht ausreichten, am Flu
gehoben ward. So flohen ihnen die Abende, welche Mahler nicht zu dirigieren hatte,
mit seiner eigensten Kunst dahin. Oder Marion** & er verloren sich in unerschopflichem Geplauder, wenn Weber sie, wie fast immer, allein lie. Es mute das seiner Frau
den Verdacht erwecken, als ob es absichtsvoll geschahe, wenn er Mahler stets ermunterte, ihr wahrend seiner Abwesenheit Gesellschaft zu leisten: Als wolle er sie schadlos
halten, ja beide geflientlich einander nahe bringen, zum Gegengewicht einer Liaison,
die er mit einer Schauspielerin (glaube ich sagte mir Gustav) hatte, welche ihm Zeit &
Interee gefangen nahm. [10] Was beideGustav & Marionaber verlor, oder eigentlicher, sie dem seeligst-unseeligen Lieben gewann, war Tristan, welchen sie einst zu
vier Handen spielten. Da sie, wie durch die Macht des Zaubertrankes, blitzartig das
` legevammo (suoniamo)
berfiel. ,,Quell giorno non piu
Wien um ihr innigst-Einssein u
avanti, auch sie erlebten es& glaubten sich dem Gestandnis ihrer Liebe, der
cks, umso vertrauender hingeben zu du
rfen,
stralend [sic] aufgehenden Sonne ihres Glu
nschtes geschah.Aber wie
als auch Weber damit nichts Boses, ja vielleicht nur Erwu
anders sollte es kommen als sie wahnten & hofften! Mahler, deen Geist, in seiner
Ehrlichkeit & Offenheit, ihr Bund, ohne das Mitwien des Gatten, belastete, drangte,
da sie sich ihm entdeckten. Zwar fiel es ihnen unendlich schwer, aus dem heilig-
See my Mahler recollections, vol. 29. [NBL2, 172 76; abridged version in NBLE, 157 61.]
I believe that was the name? that stood under the picture I saw for years on Mahlers desk.
**
Maria von Weber.12 She was an agreeably earnest, highly cultured, and unusually
musical woman whose mind and soul Gustav felt drawn to, at first unconsciously, and
then through the awakening of the most passionate awareness and desire. They were
brought together through their shared passion for music. Herself an excellent pianist,
she was able to live up to Mahlers superb achievements on the highest level.
Inwardly, he immediately felt deeply tied to this woman, nine years his senior,13 experienced and graceful, who recognized and fulfilled his needs with warm, feminine, [8]
almost motherly care. He felt uncommonly comfortable in her home, which was animated in lively fashion by three sweet children (and a little dog). For the little ones,
every one of whom was warmly attached to him, he composed a cycle [Kreis] of
songs: Um schlimme Kinder artig zu machen [To make naughty children nice].14
His connection to [Herr] Weber lay in the sketches to Carl Marias 3 Pintos, which
Gustav completed in admirable fashion,15 while Weber supplemented the textat
least to the extent that Gustav himself didnt adapt it to his own musical needs and
poetic wishes without really asking. Mahlers First Symphony also came into being at
this time:16 For at that time the world had a hole [Loch] for me,17 as he told me in
joyful recollection many years later.* I was carried to the highest heavens through
ardor and spiritual fulfillment, let my creative powers [9] expand into the infinite. His
work was met with understanding and delight when he presented parts of it, still wet
with ink, to his friends, and when it was premiered at the piano, occasionally with their
help when his two hands did not suffice. Thus the evenings when he did not have to
conduct18 flew by with Mahlers most unique creations, or Marion** and he would get
lost in inexhaustible conversation when Weber left them alone, as he almost always
did. By constantly encouraging Mahler to provide her with company when he was
away, it must have awakened in his wife the suspicion that this was happening on
purpose, as though he wanted to exonerate them, yes even intentionally bring them
closer to one another, as compensation for a liaison he was having with an actress (I
believe Gustav told me), which was taking up his time and interest. [10] But what lost
them bothGustav and Marionor rather what captured them in most blissful illfated love, was Tristan, which they used to play four hands. As if through the power of
a magic potion, they were suddenly overcome by the knowledge of their most intimate
` legevammo (suoniamo) avanti.19 They, too, experioneness: Quell giorno non piu
enced this and believed they could give in to confessing their lovethe shining rising
sun of their happinessall the more confidently since they meant Weber no harm,
and it was perhaps even something he wanted. But how differently it was to turn out
from what they wrongly believed and hoped! Mahler, whose spirit in its honesty and
openness was burdened by their bond without the joint knowledge of the husband,
insisted that they reveal themselves to him. To be sure, it was unendingly difficult
hlens, das ja stets nur den Liebenden allein

[11] verborgenen Dunkel ihres Fu
angehort, &in Wahrheit nur sie angehtheraus ans grelle Tageslicht zu treten;
aber eben in dem sichern Glauben, da sie bei Weber, aus seinem eigenen
rden, teilten sie ihm eines Tages ihr
Verhaltnis, Verstehen & Mitgehen finden wu
berraschung & Enttauschung, als
Geheimnis mit. Doch wie furchtbar war ihre U
Weber, der nichts geahnt & bemerkt haben wollte, statt Billigung & Einvernehmen,
den gemeinen, kleinen Ehr- & Rechtstandpunkt herauskehrte; ja Gustav glaubte
hren, welchen er, der principiell
schon, es werde zu einer Forderung von Jenem fu
ber,
der grote Gegener des Duells war, dem Offizier & Gatten der Geliebten gegenu
rde ausweichen konnen. Doch kam es zu diesem unmenschlichsten aller
nicht wu
,,Ausgleiche, Gott Lob, nicht. Weber sagte, er wolle sich die Liebe seiner Frau [12]
ckgewinnen. Von der den Liebenden so erhofften Losung im wahren Sinne
zuru
low, Wagner & Cosima fahig
deren freilich nur allerhochste Menschen, etwa wie Bu
sindwelchen Ethik & Gottgebot fordern, da die Liebenden vereinigt, die
Nichtliebenden aber getrennt werdendavon war bei Weber keine Rede.Mahler,
der das Webersche Haus nicht mehr betreten konnte, nach des Mannes vollig
feindseligem Verhalten, nahm seinen Abschied von Leipzig; wol in der Hoffnung,
rde, die er in der Abschiedsstunde
da er von der Geliebten nicht getrennt bleiben wu
beschwor, ihm nachzufolgen:Er harrte ihrer am Starhembergersee, um sich
dauernd mit ihr zu verbinden. Aber Marion kam nicht! Bei dem zartesten Gewien,
ber sich, [13] ihr Glu
ck auf dem Unglu
ck
welches in ihr wohnte, brachte sies nicht u
berlaen hatte!
der verlaenen Kinder aufzubauen, die ihr Weber nimmermehr u
So erwartete sie Gustav mit qualvoller Unruhe & Sehnsucht ins Vergebene. Denn
nicht einmal Nachricht durfte ihm Marion geben, die sich gegen Weber hatte eidlich
en, Mahler nicht zu schreiben! Wie aber alle solche tyrannischen,
verpflichten mu
jedem wahren Recht & Lieben Hohn sprechenden Gewaltmaregeln, stets einen
Ausweg findenweil das hohere, gottliche Recht, gegen die starre Menschensatzung,
doch zum Durchbruch kommt,so fand sich auch hier in der Folge ein Mittel des
r die Liebenden: Eine Freundin Marions, Frau
wenigstens schriftlichen Austausches fu
bernahm es, dieauerlich an sie geFiedler (die spatere Gattin Hermann Levys) u
richteten Briefe Beiderzwischen ihnen zu vermitteln. ,,Und nun begann erst unser
[14] wahres Liebesleben, sagte mir Gustav spater davon. Die durch die Verhaltnise
[sic] grausam Getrennten, lebten sich in zahllosen, nicht endenden Schreiben aus, die
stets recommandirt, & vor Ungeduld gewohnlich auch Expre, von Einem zum
Andern hin & her flogen.Gustavs Schwester Justi, welche als sie nach Pest kam, aus
Neugierde, Anteil & Eifersucht, heimlich die Briefe Marions an Gustav las (denn
Discretion & Verlalichkeit in solchen Dingen war nicht ihre Sache) erzahlte mir
ber: Frau Weber mu
e von Fru
h bis Nacht daran geschrieben haben, sonst
spater daru
ware ihre Lange unerklarlich gewesen; & von der Glut ihres Inhalts mache man sich
[11] to step forth into glaring daylight from the sacredly clandestine darkness of their
feeling20which indeed at all times belongs only to lovers and in truth only concerns
thembut precisely in the certain belief that they would find understanding and
cooperation from Weber, given his own affair, they one day finally shared their secret
with him. Yet how terrible was their surprise and disappointment when Weber, who
claimed to have suspected or noticed nothing, reacted not with approval or understanding, but instead flaunted the commonplace, petty arguments of honor and
justice. Gustav even believed it would result in a challenge to a duel, which he, on
principle an outspoken opponent of duels, would not be able to avoid vis `a vis an
officer and the husband of his beloved.21 It did not, however, thank God, come to
this most inhuman of all compromises [Ausgleiche].22 Weber said he wanted to win
back the love of his wife. [12] Regarding the solution so hoped for by the lovers in
low, Wagner, and Cosima
the truest sense, of which only the highest people like Bu
are capable,23 and which ethics and Gods commandment demand: [i.e.] that lovers
be united and those not in love be separatedthis was out of the question for
Weber. Mahler, who could no longer enter the Weber household after the husbands
utterly hostile behavior, took his leave of Leipzig, in high hopes that he would not
remain separated from his beloved, whom in their moment of parting he implored to
follow him. He waited for her at Lake Starhemberg,24 hoping to reunite with her for
good. But Marion did not come! Owing to the utterly tender conscience that dwelt
within her, she could not bring herself [13] to build her happiness on the misfortune
of her abandoned children, whom Weber would never have relinquished to her!
Thus Gustav waited for her in painful agitation and expectation, yet to no avail.
Marion was not even allowed to send him news of herself; she had to promise Weber
under oath that she would not write to Mahler! But as a way is always found around
all such ty-rannical acts of force, which are antithetical to all that is just and loving
because higher, godly justice nevertheless prevails against the hollow rules of humanity after allso, too, a way was eventually found that at least allowed written
exchange between the lovers: a friend of Marions, Frau Fiedler (later the wife of
Hermann Levy),25 took it upon herself to relay the letterswhich were addressed on
the outside to herbetween them. And only now did our [14] real love life begin,
Gustav later told me about the matter. The two of them, separated in such a brutal
manner, gave themselves free rein in innumerable, unending missives that flew back
and forth from one to the other, always sent by registered mail and, owing to their
impatience, usually also express. Gustavs sister Justi,26 who, out of curiosity, compassion, interest, and jealousy, secretly read Marions letters to Gustav after arriving in
Pest (she was never one for discretion and trustworthiness in such matters), later told
me that Frau Weber must have written from morning till night, otherwise the length
of them would be inexplicable, and one could not imagine the fervency of their
rchte, da diese, gewi ergreifendsten, Dokumente einer bedeutenden, liebendsten

Ich fu
Frauenseele, nicht mehr sind. (Mahlers Briefe hat Fr. Weber hoffentlich treu bewahrt!) Aber ich
wei, da Justi, die gleich jedem Mahler zu nachst stehenden Menschen, den groten Einflu auf
ihn hatteden sie keineswegs immer zum Besten gebrauchtein ihrer Eifersucht auf alle Frauen,
nicht nur, die Gustav etwas waren, sondern auch auf selbst jedes Zeichen (Briefe & Erinnerungen)
von Diesenes in Wien einst von ihm erreichte, da sie ein Autotafe [sic] unter seinen Briefen [15]
anstellen durfte. Darunter werden wol auch die von Marion gewesen sein! Und, um es gleich hier
vorgreifend zu erwahnen: Unzahlige von meinen Briefen an Gustav (auer den wenigen, die ich
selbst bewahre) gingen damals in Flammen auf. Dagegen besitze ich von Mahler fast keine
Schreiben: Da ich ihm, der so gern Briefe erhielt, als er sie ungern schrieb, hierin gern nachgab;
umsomehr als wir ja 10 Jahre lang zum Hauftigsten & Intensivsten miteinander verkehrten, wobei er
ndlichen Austausch u
ber Alles & Jedes sich einem anvertraute, wie ichs bei Keinem mehr,
im mu
her noch spater, getroffen habe. Und das gehorte zu den liebsten Seiten seines personlich
weder fru
rftigen, treuherzigen Wesens.
bedu
keinen Begriff!* [15] Aber auch diese grote Liebe Mahlers erschopfte sich endlich an
ihrer Hoffnungslosigkeit.
Als wirdie Wienerfreundekurz nachdem Gustav Leipzig & den
chtig bei uns wieder sahen, waren wir erschreckt
Starhembergersee verlaen, ihn flu
ber sein schlechtes Aussehen & die unruhig-tiefgedru
ckte Stimmungwelche sich
u
auch darin auerte, da er meinte, er werde nie mehr eine Stellung bekommen! Etwa
zwei Jahre spater, als er Direktor der Pesteroper war & ich ihn daselbst besuchte (:
Du erinnerst Dich daran aus meinen Mahler-Erinnerungen?) hatte er sein
Gleichgewicht wieder gewonnen; aber ich fand ihn doch, so sehr er sich meines
Kommens damals freute, wie belastet von schweren Erinnerungen & im traurigen
hl seiner Einsamkeit. Auch beru
hrte er, [16] trotz seiner groen Mitteilsamkeit
Gefu
gegen mich, mit keinem Worte, was ihm noch zu schwer auf dem Herzen lag; & erst
ttete er mir seine Seele in vielen, vielen Erzahlungen
spater in Berchtesgaden schu
ber aus. Was aber zum starksten Beweis seines tiefsten Mitgenommenseins von
daru
dem Leipziger-Lieben & -Leiden diente, war, da er seit jenen Tagen, zehn Jahre
lang, nichts Groeres komponierte.
In Pest konnte, im Umgang mit seinem Opernpersonal, ein personliches
Annehmen & Annahern ihm nicht ausbleiben. Und wie immer waren es vor Allen
die Frauen, welche Mahlers Stellung, aber besonders auch sein von ihnen eher
erkanntes & lebhaft bewundertes Genie, an ihn heranlockte: Da auch er sich von
hlte & am letztern besonders nie vorbeigehen konnte,
Anmut & Talent angezogen fu
ohne es zu fordern &, mit der hochsten Ausbildung, es der besten auern Stellung
hren. [17] (Er machte dabei allerdings kaum einen Unterschied des
zuzufu
hlte sich von mannlicher Begabung so hingerien als von
Geschlechtes, & fu
weiblicher.) Vierer Sangerinnen erinnere ich mich, deren er in Budapest Erwahnung
nstigem
tat: Der Bianchi, Artner, Hilgermann & Cillagi; welch Letzterer, er nach ungu
hnengeschick, durch richtige Verwendung, zu Glu
ck & Ruhm verhalf. Weitauf
Bu
die Erste an Begabtheit & Konnen war Bianca Bianchi, die Primadonna; der
I fear that these doubtless most gripping documents of a noteworthy and most loving womans
soul no longer exist. (Hopefully Fr. Weber has faithfully kept Mahlers letters!) But I know that
Justi, who among all those close to Mahler had the greatest influence on himwhich she by no
means always used for the bestwas jealous of all women, not only those who meant something to
Gustav, but also of every trace of them (letters and recollections). She once managed to get his
permission to make an auto-da-fe of his letters. [15] This would probably have included those
from Marion! And, to state it already here: innumerable letters of mine to Gustav (except for the
few I keep myself ) went up in flames that day. For my part, I own almost no missives from Mahler,
since on this point I gave in to him, who was as fond of receiving letters just as much as he disliked
writing them, all the more since we, after all, had the most frequent and intense interaction for 10
years. On the other hand, he opened himself up to verbal communication about absolutely
everything in a way that I have experienced with no one I have ever met, either before or after.
And that was one of the most lovable aspects of his needy and devoted nature.
contents!* [15] But even this, the greatest of Mahlers loves, ultimately exhausted
itself in the hopelessness of the situation.
When we, his Vienna friends, saw Gustav here in passing shortly after he had
left Leipzig and Lake Starhemberg, we were shocked by his poor appearance and restless, deeply depressed state of mind, which expressed itself, among other ways, in the
opinion that he would never again find a job. Some two years later, after he had
become director of the Budapest Opera and I visited him there (do you remember
from my Mahler recollections?),27 he had recovered his equilibrium. Still, I found
that, despite being happy about my coming, he was burdened by difficult memories as
well as sadness amid his loneliness. In addition, despite his great communicativeness
with me, he did not mention [16] a single word about what lay too heavily on his
heart. Only later, in Berchtesgaden, did he pour forth his soul to me regarding this in
many, many tales. But what served as the strongest evidence of his profound devastation in the wake of this Leipzig episode of love and anguish was that he had not composed anything major since that time, a period of ten years.28
In Budapest it was well-nigh impossible for him to avoid personal attentions and
attractions with the personnel at the Opera. And, as always, it was primarily the
women that were drawn to Mahlers position [Stellung], but also in particular to his
genius, which they tended to recognize and greatly admire more readily [than did the
men]. Since he, too, was attracted by charm and talent, he especially could never
pass over the latter without stimulating it and bringing it to its highest level by means
of the finest instruction. [17] (Here he made hardly any distinction with regard to
gender and was as enthusiastic about male talents as female.) I remember four singers
he mentioned in particular in Budapest: Bianchi, Artner, Hilgermann, and Cillagi,29
the last of whom he helped to fortune and fame by correcting her ungainly stagecraft.
By far the foremost as regards talent and ability was Bianca Bianchi, the prima donna,
rlich auch best gelegen war, mit dem Direktor gut Freund zu sein. Sie stu
rzte
es natu
rdigkeit & Gefalligkeiten auf ihn; half ihm seine
sich denn auch mit Liebenswu
Pesterwohnung einzurichten & Dgln. [ Dergleichen] & er hinwiderum [sic] musizierte viel & gern mit ihr. Wobei es wahrscheinlich nicht stehengeblieben ware,
hatte sie bei Gustav starkern Widerhall gefunden (als mir wenigstens von dieser
Sache zu Ohren kam.)
lerin, Jenny
In Pest war es auch, wo er viel in das Haus seiner ehemaligen Schu
Feld kam, einem ernsten, [18] nicht schonen, aber gebildeten & bes. [besonders]
hochmusikalischen Madchen, welches Mahler, seit den jugendlichsten
Wienerstunden, bewunderte & liebte, & dessen Eltern eine Verbindung mit dem, zu
hoher Stellung gelangten, einstigen armen Konservatoristen, gerne gesehen hatten.
Denn als sie spater einen Bankdirektor Perin heiratete, sagte der Vater zu Justi, die mit
Gustav bei der Trauung war: ,,Sehen Sie, an meiner Tochter Seite hatte jetztwar es
sein Wunsch gewesenIhr Bruder stehen konnen!Doch blieb die Freundschaft
el
zwischen Jenny & den Mahlerschen Geschwistern bestehen. Sie verfolgte von Bru
hrungen von Mahlers Werken & berichtete
aus, wo sie in ihrer Ehe lebte, die Auffu
ber. & als sie mit den Ihren [sic] spater auf einige Jahre nach Wien
ihm schriftlich daru
hte der personliche Verkehr wieder ebendig zwischen ihnen auf.
versetzt ward, blu
[19] Im Jahr 1891 verlie Mahler die Pester-Oper, wo man, statt seine unglaublichen
Leistungen ihm zu danken, die Befugnisse seiner Stellung ihm auf Tritt & Schritt
einschranken hatte wollen. (Bes. der unbedeutende, unfahige Intendant, Graf Geza
Zichyals einarmiger Pianist &schlechter Komponist seinerzeit bekanntda sie
Gustav zur wahren Holle ward.)
hlte er sich die erste Zeit sehr einsam &
In Hamburg, wohin er darauf kam, fu
cklich daru
ber, einen Flug nach Wien tun zu
benutzte jede Gelegenheit, & war glu
konnen. Da wir seit meinem Pesterbesuch herzlich befreundet waren, durfte ich
dabei nie fehlen & es waren wunderschone, angeregteste Abende, die wir da aus der
lebendigen Gelegenheit heraus, mit Gustavs herrlicher Musik oder den beschwingtesten Gesprachen, verbrachten. Bei einer solchen Zusam-[20]menkunft wo
Mahler, der Sympathien, wie Antipathien nie maigen, oder verbergen konnte (da
ich ihm spater oft sagte, wenn er Einem gut sei, verderbe er sichs mit allen
Anderen)als er dieses Abends mich so gar auszeichnete, in mirden altern anwesenden Freunde wegenfast peinlicher Weise, nahm er, bei Gelegenheit von
r den nachsten Sommer einen
Ferienplanen, mir das Versprechen ab, mit Justi fu
r die ganzen Ferien zu
Gebirgs-Aufenthalt auszufinden & sie daselbst, womoglich fu
besuchen. Ich aber war jener Zeit stets die Sommer mit meiner liebsten Freundin,
Josefine Spiegler, nach Tirol gezogen & verlebte diesenwahrend Mahlers in
Berchtesgaden warenin Seis mit ihr. Da kam eines Tags ein enttauscht-unzufriedener
nstigen Kollegin sei, die ihr Besuchsverheien
Brief von Gustav: Was es mit der ,,migu
lle? Mein Vorhaben jedoch war, Mahler erst im Herbst in
[21] so lang nicht erfu
Hamburg aufzusuchen, wo ich seiner & seiner gottlichen Musik ungestort mich erfreuen
konnte, statt in dem von allzuvielen Gasten & Bekannten heimgesuchten, unruhigen
[19] In 1891 Mahler left the Budapest Opera, where, instead of thanking him for his
unbelievable accomplishments, they wanted to limit the powers of his office at every
turn. (Especially the insignificant, incompetent intendant Count Geza Zichy,32 recognized in his day as a one-armed pianist and bad composer, who made life hell for
Gustav.)
In Hamburg, where he went next,33 he at first felt very lonely. He was happy
to take every opportunity to make a trip to Vienna. Since we had become close
friends ever since my visit to Budapest, I had to be present without fail, and those
were wonderful, most stimulating evenings that gave us the opportunity to spend
time with Gustavs magnificent music or in the most engaging conversations. At
one of these gatherings, [20] at which Mahler, who could never temper or hide his
sympathy or antipathy (such that I later often told him that when he likes one
person, he ruins it for himself with all the others)this particular evening he
praised me in such a way that it was, on account of his older friends also present
almost embarrassing; he made me promise, when the subject of vacation plans was
raised, to go with Justi to find a place for a holiday in the mountains that coming
summer and to stay there with them if possible for the whole vacation. But in those
days I always went to Tyrol for the summer with my dearest friend, Josefine
Spiegler,34 and spent it with her in Seis while the Mahlers were in Berchtesgaden.35
Then one day a disappointed and discontented letter came from Gustav: whats
with the begrudging colleague who has not yet fulfilled her promise to visit? [21]
My plan, however, was not to call on Mahler until the fall in Hamburg, where I
could enjoy him and his heavenly music without disturbance, in contrast to unruly
who, of course, was best situated to become good friends with the director. She threw
herself at him with charms and favors, helped him decorate his Budapest apartment,
and the like. And he, in turn, often and very happily played music with her, although
that would probably not have remained the extent of it had she found greater reciprocation from Gustav (at least as far as I heard about the matter).
It was also in Budapest that he often visited the home of his former pupil, Jenny
Feld,30 an earnest, [18] not pretty, but refined and exceptionally musical girl, who
had admired and loved Mahler since her first youthful lessons in Vienna, and whose
parents would have been happy to see a betrothal with the formerly poor conservatory student who had made it to such a high position. When she later married the
bank director Perin, her father said to Justi, who attended the wedding along with
Mahler: Look, had it been his wish, your brother would now be standing at the side
of my daughter!31 Still, the friendship between Jenny and the Mahler siblings
endured. From Brussels, where her marriage had taken her, she kept up with performances of Mahlers works and sent him written reports about them. And later on,
when she and her family were transferred to Vienna for a number of years, the lively
personal interaction between them blossomed anew.
,,Zu der Liebesnachte Kuhlung,

Wo die stille Kerze leuchtet,
Da ergriff uns hohre Fuhlung . . .
Ohne Erklarung, Frage & Schwur verschmolzen unsre Psyche & Physis ineinander.
Und wenn sich endlich Eins den Armen des Andern entwand &, ,,umrungen von
chtige Kochin Elise schlief nachbarlich in der
Gefahrdenn die neugierig-klatschsu
Hohe, & unten mute ich an Justis Zimmer vorbei in mein Kammerlein schleicklich zur Ruh gelangt, schlief man einen kurzen, doch kostlichen
chenaber glu
Berchtesgaden. Wahrend ich Gustav meinen Plan schrieb, war die entsetzliche
Cholera in Hamburg ausgebrochen. Mahler, schon auf dem Wege dahin, hatte in
Berlin die Kunde davon, zugleich mit der verlangerten Schlieung der Theater erfahckgekehrt. Davon unterrichtet, machte ich mich
ren, & war nach Berchtesgaden zuru
r den Freund, eilends dahin auf, wo ich wenige Stunden nach
nun, voll Sorgen fu
seiner erneuten Ankunft eintraf. (Du erinnerst Dich, liebster Hans, dieser
Begebenheiten wol aus meinen ,,Erinnerungen an G.M., die ich hier, weil sie mir
pfen des Folgenden notig
momentan nicht vorliegen, [22] & weil sie zum Dranknu
sind, wiederholte. )
Die Freude, den diesmal der Gefahr Entrannenen wiederzusehen & zugleich
ber seinem Haupte schwebten,
die Furcht vor den Gefahren der Zukunft, welche u
vereinigten sich zum gesteigertsten Empfinden & Genieen der Gegenwart; und
auch urplotzlich, machtig, unwiderstehlich hielt die Liebe Einzug in unsren Herzen.
Wenn die Freuden des Tages mit wonnigen Spaziergangen, frohlichen Mahlern,
r Gustav & mich unsre Zeit erst an.
Musicieren & Lesen verklungen waren, brach fu
chtige Schwesterlein ausgeNachdem wirwas nicht leicht warJusti, das eifersu
dauert, zog mich Gustav in sein oberstes Dachgela, ein schragwandiges, winziges
Kammerlein, mit der weitumfaendsten, Herzerhebendsten Aussicht auf den wundervollen Berchtesgadenerkeel, bis zu den hochsten Eisgebirgen [23] der Ferne.
Wie wir da, eingeschlossen, & von aller Welt abges[c]hlossen, im engsten Raum, bis
zum grauenden Morgen im innig-bewegtesten, Scheherazaden-artigen Erzahlen,
unser ganzes Leben vor einander entrollten; wie in Mahler, durch meinen Glauben
an seinen Genius, & begeiste[r]ter Ansporn, die 10 Jahre lang versiegte
Schaffenskraft, machtiger als je zuvor, aufs Neue entsprangum nach unglaublich
vollbrachter Riesenarbeit seiner 10 ungeheuren Symphonien & wundervollen Lieder
erst mit dem Tode zu enden; da wo sich in uns Alles suchte, &in seltener
Wahlverwandtschaftseelisch & geistig, wechselseitig gebend, wie empfangend,
sich fand;wo aus der Gelegenheit der Gelegenheiten heraus, der Himmel selbst
hrt zu haben schien: Wars da nicht Wunderja Su
nde
uns zusammengefu
gewesen, wenn solcher Lebens-Verklarung & Vollendung nicht [24] auch der
llte sichs:
hochste Liebesausdruck nachgefolgt ware? Und so erfu
In the coolness of the night of love,

Where the silent candle glows,
There higher feeling seized us . . .39
Without any declaration, question, or pledge, our psyche and physis melted into
each other. 40 And when at last the arms of one were wrested from the other and,
surrounded by danger [umrungen von Gefahr]41for the curious, gossipy cook,
Elise, slept nearby on high, and below I had to sneak by Justis room to get to my
chamberyet happily getting to rest, one slept a short but delightful sleep in order to
Berchtesgaden, where all-too-many guests and friends had alighted. While I was
writing to Gustav of my plan, the horrible cholera epidemic broke out in Hamburg.36
Mahler, already on the way there, found out about it in Berlin, along with the
extended closing of the theaters, and traveled back to Berchtesgaden. Informed
about this and full of worry for my friend, I headed there as quickly as possible, where
I arrived a few hours after his return. (You no doubt remember this event, dearest
Hans, from my Recollections of G.M.,37 which I have repeated here because I do
not have it in front of me at the moment, and [22] because what happened is necessary for the connection to what follows.)
The joy at again seeing the one who had this time escaped imminent danger
and the simultaneous fear of future dangers hanging over his head came together in
the most intense awareness and enjoyment of the present, and then quite suddenly,
powerfully, irresistibly, love entered our hearts. When the joys of the day with blissful walks, festive meals, music making, and reading had faded away, the time for
Gustav and me was just beginning. After we had outlasted Justi, the jealous little
sisterwhich was not easyGustav drew me up to his room in the attic, a tiny
chamber with a slanting wall and with the most panoramic, heart-inspiring view of
the Berchtesgaden basin up to the highest glacial mountains [23] in the distance.
The way we found ourselves there, locked in in tight quarters and separated from the
rest of the world, unfolding our entire lives for each other until the early dawn in the
most intimate, moving, Scheherazadian manner of telling; the way that the creative
power in Mahler, drained away for ten years, returned anew, more powerful than ever
because of my belief in his genius and my enthusiastic encouragementand would
only end with his death after the unbelievable completion of a tremendous oeuvre
comprising ten formidable symphonies and wonderful songs; there, where everything searched for andin uncommon elective affinity38found itself in us, alternately giving and taking of itself in spirit and mind, where in the moment of
moments it seemed as if the heavens themselves had brought us together, would it
not have been a wonder, even a sin, if such a transfiguration and consummation of
life had not [24] been followed by the highest expression of love? And so it came to
be:
Schlaf, um nach wenigen Stunden erfrischt beschwingtest aufzuwachen: Denn gibt

ck auf Erden, als in den Tag zuru
ckzukehren mit dem Bewusstsein
es ein hoheres Glu
zu lieben & geliebt zu werden?! Und dann, all die holden Erkennungszeichen, welche
nur [25] den Liebenden bewut, sie, in einem ,,verborgenen Gespinnst von
Minnen, unsichtbar am hellen Tage, beseeligt unter den Andern wandeln lasst.
Und jedes lebendige Wort & frohe Tun wird nun zum Fest;von dem man doch
ckkehrtwo jedes Abends letzter Ku:
umso verlangender zum Zweisamsein zuru
,,Ein treu verbindlich Siegel: So wird es auch am nachsten Tage bleiben!
rchtete Abschied herantausendfach
Doch schneller als geahnt kam der gefu
rchteter, weil Mahler sich in die noch keineswegs beendete Gefahr der
gefu
gralichen Hamburger-Seuche begeben sollte, & kraftvoll-tapfer sein Wort, auch
nchen[,]
unter diesen aufhebenden Umstanden halten wollte: Er verabredete in Mu
ber die Versorgung seiner
wohin Justi & ich ihn geleitet[,] noch Alles mit mir, u
Geschwister, falls ihm etwas zustiee;eine letzteste Liebesnacht mit mir in
Seligkeit & Thranen& er war uns entrien!
[26] Gustav hatte mir das Versprechen abgenommen, ihn sobald als moglich in
Hamburg zu besuchen. Es ist in jenem Winter nicht geschehen. Denn bald bemerkte
ich aus seinen wenigen Anworten (auf die Hochflut meiner Briefe) in denen das
ndliche Liebeswort einem kameradschaftlichen Schreibton gewichen war, da er
mu
r mich bekampft & besiegt hatte; worauf
sein leidenschaftliches Empfinden fu
ichnie gewohnt & gewillt eines Menschen Liebe zu erzwingensogleich ohne
Groll & Vorwurf einging. Spater erst wurde mir bewut, da hinter jener Wandlung
ndlich Alles aufbot, jede warmere
vor Allem Justi stand, die brieflich & mu
Beziehungin diesem Fall war es die meinedie ihr Verhaltnis zu Gustav zu
gefahrden schien, im Keime zu ersticken. Sie fuhr im Laufe des Winters nach
ngern Schwester, & dem
Hamburg, wohin sie spater [27] vollig mit Emma, der ju
bersiedelte.
ganzen Haushalt, zu Gustav u
Um Mahlers Leben zu verstehen mu man wien, da vom Tode der Eltern bis
ck & -Unglu
ck seines
zu seiner Ehe, diese Lieblingsschwester Justi das Hauptglu
ck, weil sie ihn leidenschaftlich, wie keinen
Daseins ausmachte. Ich nenn es Glu
r ihn sorgte. Unglu
ck aber
zweiten Menschen auf Erden liebte, & treu & trefflich fu
war ihre grenzenlose Eifersucht auf ihn, die sie nicht etwa offen zeigte, denn sie
wute, da sie sichs dadurch mit ihm verdorben hatte, wol aber versteckt walten
lie. Da war ihr kein Weg zu schlecht, kein Betrug zu gro zur Erreichung ihres Ziels.
Da es ihren Machinationen aber stets gelang, dazu kam ihr nicht nur Gustavs Liebe
r sie zu Statten, sondern, bei Diesem auch eine Art von Askese,
& groe Schwache fu
rftesein Geist als
welche tief in ihm wurzelte, & diewenn ichs so nennen [28] du
h errungen hatte; umsomehr vielGegenwehr einer starken Sinnlichkeit, sich fru
leicht, weil eine groe Wechselhaftigkeit & Unzuverlaigkeit bei seinen Neigungen
zu Menschen in ihm lag, die er zwar nicht Wort haben wollte, aber hin & hergerien
davon, doch fortwahrend an sich erfahren mute.Was aber Justi betrifft, tate man
Unrecht zu glauben, da sie nicht auch ihre guten & lieblichen Seiten hatte. Ja,
wake up a few hours later refreshed and inspired. For is there a higher happiness on
earth than to return to the day amid the consciousness of loving and being loved?!
And then all the precious signs of recognition only [25] known to the lovers that
allow them to walk, euphoric, invisible in broad daylight among the others in a
hidden gossamer of courtly love.42 And every living word and happy act becomes a
festival from which one all the more desirously returns to togetherness, where every
evenings last kiss is a seal of fidelity: thus it will remain the next day!43
But the dreaded departure came faster than suspected, a thousand times more
dreaded because Mahler was to head into the danger that was far from over in the
horrible Hamburg epidemic, keeping his word in a resolute and courageous manner
even under such exceptional circumstances. In Munich, whence Justi and I accompanied him, he arranged everything with me concerning the care of his siblings should
anything happen to him. A very last night of love with me, in bliss and tearsand
then he was torn from us!44
[26] Gustav made me promise to come and visit him in Hamburg as soon as
possible. That did not happen that winter. For I soon noticed in his sparse answers
(in response to the flood of letters from me) that the spoken words of love had given
way to a comradely tone of writing, that he had fought and conquered his passionate
feelings for me. Whereupon I, who have never wanted or been inclined to force
someones love, went along with this immediately, without resentment or accusation.
Only later did I realize that it was above all Justi who was behind this transformation,
and who, in letters and conversation, did everything in her power to nip in the bud
any warmer relationshipin this case minethat appeared to threaten her relationship to Gustav.45 During the course of the winter she traveled to Hamburg, where
she later [27] moved in completely with Gustav, along with Emma,46 the younger
sister, and the entire household.
In order to understand Mahlers life, it is necessary to know that, from the
death of his parents up until his marriage,47 this favorite sister of his constituted the
most important source of happiness and also of misfortune in his existence. I call it
happiness because she loved him passionately, like no other person on earth, and
took care of him with devotion and skill. But the misfortune was her boundless jealousy toward him, which she did not simply reveal openly, for she knew that in doing
so she would have ruined things with him, but rather let it reign in secret. No
method was beneath her, no deception too great for the attainment of her goal. That
her machinations always succeeded was abetted not only by Gustavs love and great
weakness for her, but also by a certain type of asceticism, deeply rooted in him,
thatif I can call it this[28] had won over his spirit at an early age as a defense
against a strongly sensual nature, all the more, perhaps, because there was in him considerable inconstancy and unreliability when it came to his proclivities for people,
which he did not want to prevail, but, tugged back and forth by it, nevertheless had
to experience in himself continually.48 Yet as far as Justi is concerned, it would do
her injustice to believe that she did not also have her good and charming sides.
geltes Wesen in Schranken hieltwas in Gustavs

wenn sie ihr unerzogen-ungezu
Gegenwart immer der Fall warkonnte sie hochst anziehend sein: Die Lebhaftigkeit
chsige Begabung, darunter besonders ein
ihres Wesens, Flinkheit & Tatigkeit, urwu
bscher Kopfwenn ihn nicht wie
kostliches Erzahltalent; dann ein lebendig hu
spater immer mehr ungute Leidenschaft verzerrtelieen sie oft Reiz voll reizend in
die Erscheinung treten. Auch konnte sie gefallig & herzlich gegen Freunde sein [29]
& war strebsam & dankbar wenn man sich ihrer Bildung annahm. So verbrachten
wir auch warme & frohe Stunden miteinander, bes. in Mahlers Abwesenheit. Denn
in der Vehemenz ihrer Empfindung bei ihren Zuneigungen & Abneigungen glich
Justi ihrem Bruder, bis auf den Gegenstand seiner Neigungen selbst, da sie seinen
nstlingen auch jeweilig eine Art leidenschaftlichen Interesses entgegenHerzensgu
brachte. So war zu Beginn einer Freundschaft immer Alles in dulci jubilo. Aber wehe,
r Gustav (d.h. in Wahrheit fu
r
wenn der Augenblick kam, wo Justi eine Gefahr fu
sich) in der, oder dem nah Befreundeten aufsteigen sah,denn auch auf von Mahler
bevorzugte Mannlein, nicht nur Weiblein, erstreckte sich ihre Eifersucht: Dann
llt gegen
wurde mit den scharfsten Waffen ohne jedes Bedenken & Gewien, haerfu
die Ahnungslosen zu Felde gezogen.So vollzog sichs auch damals mit mir&
spater immer aufs Neue, wenn sich im Laufe unserer 10 jahrigen, engsten
Verbindung mein Schifflein auf den Mahlerschen Fluten, Justi zu hoch zu erhe[30]ben schienwas bei einem langern friedlich-ernsten Zusammensein mit Gustav,
auer ihrem Gesichtskreis, stets eintrat; wogegen sie dann umso gewalttatiger ihre
Minen springen lie!Du kannst mir glauben, Sohnlein, es war kein Leichtes,
in diesem, mir so ganz & gar ungewohnten & ungemaen, erst garnicht bemerkten
r moglich gehaltenen Lu
gen-& Intrigen-Element, durchzusteuern. Ja, &
& kaum fu
brig, als einfach keine Notiz davon zu nehmen;
als ichs erkannte, was blieb mir u
denn mit ahnlichen Waffen konnt ich nicht kampfen!Doch hatte ich, trotz alles
unendlich Herrlichen & Forderndsten, das mir dies langjahrige Band eintrug, es
nicht auf mich genommenich hatte die Qualen, welche einen oft in Untiefen
hinabzogen & selbst schuldig werden lieen, nicht ertragen, wars nicht um
Mahlers Genius gewesen: Der eines reinern & hohern Elementes, als das seiner
nachsten Umgebung, dringend bedurfte; & wenn er auch zeitweise, durch bose
Einrede, in seiner malosen Beeinflubarkeit, davon getrennt ward, [31] sich
immer wieder danach sehnte & danach von Neuem griff. (:So war es nicht nur mit
mir, mit der er am meisten zusammenlebte, mit Lipiner & Walter, mit Nina Spiegler
Zeit seines Lebens.)
Was man aber auch gegen Justi sagen mu, will man Mahlers Leben folgen:
Eins steht unstreitig fest, da sie zu den Frauengestalten gehort, die in seinem Dasein
rde sicher
die grote Rolle spielten; ja ware sie nicht seine Schwester gewesen, sie wu
eine seiner starksten Leidenschaften ausgemacht haben! Wie bei Byron & deen
Schwester, trafen ihre Naturen, als sie sich eigentlich erst erwachsen kennen lernten,
berraschung auf einander. Dazu trat bei
mit der vollesten Unmittelbarkeit & U
Gustav, der einen stark entwickelten Familiensinn besa, die Sorge um die
Indeed, when she held her ill-bred and unrestrained nature within boundswhich in
Gustavs presence was always the caseshe could be most attractive. Her vivacious
character, sprightly and animated, her native gifts, especially her delightful ability to
tell stories, plus a lively pretty head (as long as it wasnt being contorted by unpleasant passions, which later was more and more the case) meant that she often made a
charmingly endearing impression. She could also be accommodating and sincere with
friends [29] and was assiduously thankful if one helped in educating her. Thus we
also spent warm and happy hours with each other, especially in Mahlers absence. In
the vehemence of her feeling of attraction or antipathy, Justi was like her brother,
right down to the object of his affections, such that she developed a type of passionate
interest in those people closest to his heart. At the beginning of a friendship everything was always in dulci jubilo;49 but beware the moment Justi saw a danger for Gustav
(in other words, actually for herself) arising in a close friend, male or female, for Justis
jealousy also applied to Mahlers favorite male friends, not just women. Then the
hate-filled campaign was launched against the clueless persons with the deadliest
weapons and with no consideration or conscience whatsoever. That is also what happened to me at that time and again later whenever, during those ten years of the
deepest connections between us, in Justis eyes my little ship seemed to rise too high
on the Mahlerian tides. [30] This happened all the time after long, friendly, and
earnest meetings with Gustav beyond the gaze of her watchful eye, whereupon she set
off her explosives with all the more vehemence! Believe you me, my dear, it was not
easy for me to navigate through this element of lies and intrigues, so utterly foreign
and disagreeable to me, which I at first did not notice and which I could hardly
believe was possible. And after I recognized this, what else could I do but simply take
no notice of it, for I had no such weapons to fight with in return! Nevertheless,
despite the unendingly splendid and uplifting aspects that came with this long-term
association, I would not have accepted itI would not have put up with the suffering
that often left one dragged down to the depths and feeling guilty oneselfif it had not
been for Mahlers genius: he desperately needed a purer and higher element than his
immediate surroundings. Even if he at times was separated from this by malicious talk
and his excessive vulnerability to influence, [31] he longed for it again and grasped for
it anew. (That is how it was his entire life, not only with me, with whom he lived the
most, but also with Lipiner and Walter, and with Nina Spiegler.)50
But as regards what must be said against Justi if one wants to trace Mahlers
life:one thing stands indisputedly clear, namely that she was one of the female
figures who played the most important role in his being. Indeed, had she not been his
sister, she would certainly have been one of his greatest passions. As with Byron and
his sister, their natures converged with the fullest immediacy and astonishment only
as they truly got to know each other in adulthood.51 Also, Gustav, who had a strongly
developed sense of family, felt concern for those of his household who were not oth-
r Justi, da sie die, lange Jahre kranken,

Unversorgten seines Hauses, & den Dank fu
Eltern so aufopfernd gepflegt hatte. In Justis Phantasie & Leben aber stand Gustav,
hster Kindheit, als der hochst bewunderte Abgott der Familie. Und so
von fru
umschloen sich, zusammengelangt, mit parteiischer Liebe, ihre einand in vielem
r Gustav [32] war Justis Art auch sonst eine anmutigtiefverwandten Wesen. Fu
anziehende: Gegen ihn war sie immer die innig Liebende, ihm herzlich zu dienen
Bestrebte, &wenn ihr ihn nur niemand streitig machteimmer heiterFreundliche. Der muntere Quell ihres sprudelnden Plauderns, ihr ,,silbernes
Lachen, wies Gustav nannte, waren ihm ein stets erfrischender Jungbrunnen. Die
nde & ungut-eigensuchtigen Seiten ihrer Wesens jedoch
dunkeln Seelenabgru
verbargen sich die langste Zeit seinem ahnungslos-naiven Blick.Da Justi eine
vortreffliche Hauswirtin war & Mahler, der so lang die Unbequemlichkeit &
en, die, wie ein trauliches
Einsamkeit eines Junggesellenlebens hatte tragen mu
Heim froh zu genieen & schatzen wute, kam noch verstarkend zu diesem Vereine,
r einen unlosbaren hielten, & der vielleichtfur Gustav wol nicht
den beide bald fu
cklicher hatte sein konnen: waren es nicht
der hochsteaber ein dauernd glu
Geschwister gewesen, die den Schwerpunkt ihres Lebens & Sehnens doch naturnothrte zu
wendig immer wieder auerhalb ihres Verhaltnies suchen muten. Das fu
dem ,,heimlich unterschworenen Zwist ihrer beiderseitigen Eifersuchtskonflikte &
zu der Antimoralitatwenn ichs so nennen kanndieses, [33] wie jedes solchen
Verhaltnises: Weil das, was im letzten Sinn nicht zusammengehorte, naturgema
ckung & ihre Gottgewollten Folgen bleiben mutesich festohne die hochste Beglu
hielt, & was sich verbinden hatte sollen, auseinand[er] gehalten wurde.Und hier
mu ich nochmals auf meine Beziehung zu Mahler zu sprechen kommen, welche in
diesem Jahrzehnt so eng mit ihrer beider Leben verwoben war, da selbst Justi, wie
lieb- & gewienlos sie sich auch oftest im Verborgenen gegen mich wandte, doch nie
meiner bei Gustav entraten konnte, & mich immer wieder herbeirief; soda ich alle
Sommer & einen Teil der Winter unter demselben Dach mit ihnen verbrachte. In
einem so nahen & haufigen Zusammensein, & im Laufe des lebendigsten
hrung des Entschlues, da Mahler & ich nur als
Geschehens, war die Durchfu
hlen &
Freunde leben sollten, keine leichte. Ganz abgesehen von meinen eigenen Gefu
der Askese entgegengesetzten Denkungsweise (:Die hatte ich von Lipiner in den 10
Jahren seines & meines hochster Liebe & Treue vollen Bundes, zur beschwingtesten
Erhebung & unendlichen Forderung, seelig gelernt & durchlebt) [34]ganz
abgesehen von solchen, zu Gunsten wahrer Liebe mir tiefst einwohnender
berzeugungen & innersten Bedu
rfnisen meiner Natur, mute es mir schwer fallen
U
zu sehen, wie auch Gustav oft genug litt unserm in Allemnur in diesem einen
Punkte nichteiner Ehe gleichen Verhaltnis; & wie er durch dies ganz sinnlose
Colibat physisch, wie psychisch geschadigt wurde. Aber genug, ich nahm es auf mich,
wie ich die Umstande nun einmal erkannt hatte, & trugsdas darf ich sagenohne
ihm durch Tat oder Wort das Leben schwer zu machen; im Gegenteil suchte ich ihm
tzen, so viel ich vermochte & freute mich seiner warmen
zu dienen & nu
erwise provided for, as well as gratitude to Justi for tending to their sick parents
during long years of sacrifice. In Justis world and in her imagination, Gustav was
regarded from earliest childhood as the loftily admired idol of the family. And thus
did their deeply kindred souls envelop each other, united in biased love. Apart from
this, for Gustav, [32] Justis manner was charming and attractive. She was always the
one who dearly loved him, who strove to serve him affectionately, andas long as no
one was competing with her for himshe was always happy and friendly. The animated spring of her bubbling conversation and her silver laughter,52 as Gustav
called it, were always a refreshing fountain of youth for him. The dark chasms of
the soul and the evil, self-centered sides of her being, however, remained hidden
for the longest time from his innocently nave gaze. That Justi was an excellent
housekeeper and that Mahler, who had to bear the discomforts and loneliness of
bachelorhood for so long, happily enjoyed and appreciated this homey household,
strengthened their union as well, which both soon regarded as inseparable. For
Gustav, this arrangementthough certainly not idealcould perhaps have been
happy in the long term: were it not for the fact that they were siblings, who, as a
natural consequence, inevitably and repeatedly had to seek the focus of their lives
and desires elsewhere than in their own relationship. This led to the secretly festering strife [heimlich unterschworenen Zwist]53 of their mutually jealous conflicts and of
the antimoralityif I can call it thatof this [33] and all such relationships: because
that which ultimately did not belong together and which naturally had to remain
without the greatest joy and its God-given consequences, nevertheless stayed
together, and that which should have bonded together was kept apart. And here I
must again speak of my own relationship with Mahler, which was so closely tied to
both of their lives during that decade that even Justi, no matter how uncharitably
and unscrupulously she so frequently secretly turned against me, could never turn
Gustav away from me. In fact, time and again she summoned me back, and as a result
I spent every summer and a good part of every winter under the same roof with them.
In such close and constant company, and during the course of the liveliest events,
maintaining the resolution that Mahler and I would live only as friends was not easy.
Not to mention my own feelings and my anti-ascetic perspective (this I had learned
and lived to the fullest, and carried to the most exhilarating heights and unending
enrichment with Lipiner54 in the ten years of his and my bond of supreme love and
devotion), [34] and not to mention those convictions residing deep within me and
the most intimate needs of my nature that favored true love: it had to be difficult for
me to see that Gustav, too, suffered often enough in our relationship, which in every
respect except this one amounted to a marriage, and how he was stricken, both physically and psychologically, by this entirely senseless celibacy. But enough: I accepted
the circumstances as I saw them and bore themthis I can truly saywithout
making life difficult for him in word or deed. On the contrary, I sought to serve him
and be useful to him as much as I could and took delight in his warm devotion and
rftigkeit in Allem & Jedem.Nach zehn

Hingegebenheit & schier kindlichen Bedu
hte aufs Neue Gustavs Liebe zu mir (es schien, als ob der
Jahren aber erblu
Rosenkranz meines Lebens & Liebens sich nach Decaden abzahlte!) Es war in
einer gottlichen, von Musik geweihten, Natur-zaubrischen Mondnacht auf Mahlers
herrlichen Besitz am Worthersee(:Du kennst sie, mein Hans, schon aus den
Mahlererinnerungen? die ich hier nicht wiederholen will.) Da in je-[35]ner Nacht,
durch unser lang-wachend-liebendes Vereintsein, einemsonst wol ertrinkendem
Menschen von Gustav das Leben gerettet ward, gab scheinbar den himmlischen
hendSegen zur Erneuerung unseres Bundes. (: Ich konnte sein kurzes, glu
hendes Aufleben nachher der Aloe vergleichen, die nur alle hundert Jahre Blu
ten
blu
treibt, & dann erstirbt!)Was auf dem Boden einer so tiefen, langerprobten, herzlichsten Beziehung in spontaner Leidenschaft wiedererstanden war, hatte einer
gewissen, Natur-notwendigen Dauer bei Keinem, auch bei Gustav nicht, ermangelt.
Aber Justifern sei es von mir Dir zu schildern in wie treulos-perfider Weisebrach
aufs Neue frevelnd ins Heiligtum unserer Liebe ein. Doch diesmal begrub sie sich selbst
mmern des Tempels, indem sie ihn auf uns herabstu
rzte: Denn sie
unter den Tru
bte nicht nur unserer Leben Trennung auf immerdar, sondern raubte auch sich
veru
Den, welchen sie keinem Andern gonnen wollte.[36] Da ich so lang bei meinem
Verhaltnis zu Mahler verweiltdenke nicht, mein Lieber, es sei aus Eitelkeit oder
Anmaung geschehen: Nein, nur weil ich dieses kannte, wie kein andres, & ehrlich
gen festber zu geben mir Pflicht erschien, hab ich es in den Hauptzu
Rechenschaft daru
gehalten. (Das Andre, die Geschichte von Mahlers Genius, & drein verflochten, die
leisen Taten meiner Liebesopferfreudigkeit, wenn es mir so zu nennen erlaubt ist, weit
Du aus meinem Mahler-Hauptwerk.) Und nach diesem Vorgreifen & Abschweifen,
ck.
kehren wir wieder in die zeitliche Folge von Mahlers Leben & Lieben zuru
In Hamburg gehorten mit zu den ersten Bekannten Gustavs& ihm bis zuletzt
herzlich zugetanenFrau Markus & ihre jugendliche Tochter. Sie wuten es ihm in
ihrem Heim traulich zu machen; ja man sprach in der Stadt sogar davon, ob er die
ltere (eine noch [37] stattlich-liebenswu
ngere, oder A
rdige Frau,) heiraten werde?
Ju
Doch glaub ich nicht, da sie ihm je anders als in freundschaftlicher Weise in den
Sinn kamen.
Es ist mir nicht erinnerlich im wievielten Jahr von Mahlers HamburgerEngagement, die Mildenburg von Pollini dahin berufen ward. Sie hatte eben erst das
ber 20 Jahre alt, & die gottliche
Wiener-Conservatorium absolviert, war wenig u
Stimme, sowie das auerordentliche Talent des jungen Wesens, von fast
berlebensgroer Erscheinung in Gestalt & dem bedeutenden Kopf, muten auf
u
re das erste Mal,
Mahler den starksten Eindruck machen. Wie sie ihm in der Walku
ndigung entgegen trat, hatte sie es
als Wotanskind ernst & gro in der Todesverku
nstlerische Bedu
rftigkeit &
ihm gleich vollig angetan. Ihre menschliche, wie ku
hochste Entwicklungsfahigkeit; ihre arge Abhangigkeit von Pollini, der sie aufs
cksichtsloseste ausbeutete, & gegen den ihr Beistand zu leisten Mahler sich
Ru
hte; all dies waren lebendige Faden, welche sie zu einand[er] zogen.
bemu
sheer childish needs in each and every respect. But after ten years, Gustavs love for
me blossomed anew (it was as if the rosary of my living and loving had been repaid
after decades!). It was on a sublime, magical moonlit night, with nature consecrated
by music, at Mahlers splendid property at Worthersee (you are already familiar with
this, my Hans, from my Mahler recollections?55 which I do not want to repeat here).
On that [35] night, owing to our loving union that kept us long awake, someones
lifewho would have otherwise certainly drownedwas saved by Gustav: this seemed
to give heavenly blessing to the renewal of our bond. (I could later compare its short,
torridly blooming revival to the aloe plant, which bears blossoms only every hundred
years and then dies!) What had arisen anew in spontaneous passion from the ground of
such a deep, time-tested, most heartfelt relationship, would not for anyone, including
Gustav, be devoid of a certain natural necessity to endure. But Justifar be it from me
to depict for you in just what a faithless and perfidious fashionbroke outrageously
into the sanctuary of our love once again.56 This time, however, she buried herself
beneath the ruins of the temple while crashing it down upon us. For not only did she
bring about the parting of our lives forever, she also robbed herself of him whom she
would not concede to anyone else. [36] The reason I have dwelt so long upon my relationship with Mahlerdont think, my dear, that it has occurred out of vanity or presumptuousnessno, I have preserved this narrative in its main features because I knew
this as no one else did, and because it seemed to me to be my duty to bear honest testimony to it. (The other bits, the story of Mahlers genius and, sprinkled in there, the
quiet deeds of my happiness in sacrificial love, if I may call it that, you know from my
main work on Mahler.) And after this anticipation and digression, lets return to the
chronological sequence of Mahlers life and love.
Among Gustavs first acquaintances in Hamburgto whom he was also
attached until the endwere Frau Markus and her youthful daughter.57 They knew
how to make him feel at home; there was even talk in the town about whether he
was going to marry the younger one or the older (who was still [37] a handsome and
likable woman). Yet I do not believe he ever regarded them in anything other than a
friendly manner.
I cannot remember in what year of Mahlers Hamburg engagement
Mildenburg58 was hired by Pollini.59 She had only just graduated from the Vienna
Conservatory, was a little over twenty years old, and the divine voice as well as the
extraordinary talent of this young creature, her almost larger-than-life appearance in
stature and in her distinguished headall of this had to have made the strongest
impression on Mahler. When she made her first appearance before him, with gravity
nnhilde] in the Todesverku
ndigung of Die
and greatness as Wotans child [Bru
Walkure, he was immediately and completely taken by her. Her personal as well as
artistic needs and tremendous capacity for development, her dire dependence on
Pollini, who heedlessly exploited her, and in the face of which Mahler tried to
support herall this constituted living threads that drew them to each other.
bte
[38] Mahler nahm ihre ganze musikalische Weiterentwicklung in die Hand; u
und studierte mit ihr aufs Genaueste alle Partien, bis er sie nach & nach auf die
Stufe der Meisterschaft hob, die in ihrer genialen Begabung verborgen lag. Ich habe,
was ich aus Mahlerschen, wie ihren eigenen Berichtenals ich nach Jahren mit
ber erfuhr, in den
Anna (v. Mildenburg) herzlich befreundet wurdedaru
Mahlererinnerungen erzahlt; & sie selbst hat in lebensvoller Beschreibung, wie in
ber veroffentlicht. Da Mahler
Briefen von Gustav an sie, davon schon Manches daru
r ein so reich veranlagtes Wesen eine groe Leidenschaft ergriff, ist nicht zu verfu
hlte sich aber bald
wundern. Er dachte anfangs selbst lebhaft daran sie zu heiraten; fu
wieder, besonders durch Justis Gegenwirken & Intrigen, aufs Schlimmste hin-&
ht war den Teufel
hergerien. (Auch ich wurde damals von Justi, die immer bemu
durch Beelzebub auszutreiben, ahnungslos herbeiberufen, & mute langere Zeit in
Hamburg bei Mahlers verweilen; dabei wute sie auch mich jener mit der
cks fu
r Gust[av] zu versiMildenburg drohenden Verbindung, als des groten Unglu
chern.) Da Anna, die Gustav ausdauernder & treuer liebte als er sie, in ihrem heftigen Temperament ihrer Jugend &Verwohntheit [39] als Sangerin, sich nicht so
leicht abzufinden vermochte mit Mahlers Wechselhaftigkeit & Unzuverlassigkeit in
der Liebe, da sie dies Schwerste oft nur ungeduldig & ungeberdig [ ungebardig]
berhaupt die Frau, ihrem Wesen & ihrer
ertrug, ist wol zu begreifen: Wie ja u
Stellung nach, weit mehr darunter leidet als der Mann. Es wahrten aber die freudigen
tterungen dieses Verhaltnises (das nicht zum Letzten fu
hrte,
& qualenden Erschu
hrtes Madchen entlie, wie Anna mir sagte) die ganze Zeit bis zum
und sie als unberu
cklichem
Abgang Mahlers von Hamburg. (In die Berufung nach Wien, zu deren glu
r Gustav, die Mildenburg viel beigetragen hatte, kam sie ihm erst 2 Jahre
Gelingen fu
spater nach, als die nahere Beziehung zwischen ihnen erloschen war.) Ein Gutes
aber hatte das Bekanntwerden seiner Beziehung zur Mildenburg, beim Theater & in
der Stadt, berichtete mir in jener Zeit der schweren Kampfe Gustav. Man hatte ihm
r Theaterverhaltnise, unglaublich ,,solides Leben fu
r nichts
namlich sein, fu
r ihn
Geringers alsHomo-Sexualitat ausgelegt, was noch die schlimmsten Folgen fu
hatte haben konnen! Anla dazu gab die vehemente Art mit der sich Mahler, in
ber des jungen Bruno Walter Musikgenie, von Anfang an auf diesen
Begeisterung u
rzt hatte, den er ja sogar adop-[40]tieren wollte! Das konnten sich die gemeinen
gestu
Alltagsseelen dort nicht anders deuten; bis durch die ,,Affaire mit der Mildenburg
Gustav in ihren Augen rehabilitirt erschien.
Als Mahler zum Direktor der Wiener Oper ernannt war, was er seinen ungenstlerischen & administrativen Erfolgen, baldigst nach Antritt seiner
heurn ku
rlich besonders Sanger & Sangerinnen, die
Stellung, zu danken hatte, waren es natu
sich um seine Gunst bewarben. Wobei sie aber bald erfuhren, da nur das Verdienst:
Flei & Talent bei ihm den Ausschlag gaben, was sie zur hochsten Leistungskraft
entflammte. Die Erste & Oberste unter den Primadonnen war die Renard, deren
ckten. Mit ihr brachte er,
vollendete Gesangs- & Darstellungskunst Gustav entzu
unter Anderm, Djamileh, die beiden Bohe`mes, & verschiedene neueinstudierte alte
[38] Mahler took her entire musical development into his hands; he practiced and
studied all her roles with her in detail, until gradually he elevated her to the level of
mastery that lay hidden in her brilliant gifts. I have recounted in my Mahler recollections60 what I found out about this from Mahlers reports as well as her own, after I
became very close friends with Anna (v. Mildenburg) years later; she, too, has
already published some of this in vivid descriptions as well as letters from Gustav to
her.61 That Mahler was gripped by a strong passion for such a richly endowed being
comes as no surprise. At first he himself actively thought about marrying her, but
soon felt most severely pulled back and forth on the issue, especially as a result of
Justis interventions and intrigues. (I, too, was called in at the time, completely
unaware, by Justi, who was always trying to cast out the devil through Beelzebub,62
and had to stay for a lengthy period with the Mahlers in Hamburg. Justi assured me
that the bond that was threatening to be made with Mildenburg was the greatest misfortune for Gustav.) It is easily understandable that, given the stormy temperament
of her youth and her pampering as a singer, Anna, who loved Gustav with more
tenacity and faithfulness than he loved her, [39] was not very capable of easily
accepting Mahlers fickleness and unreliability in love, and that she bore this burden
impatiently and obstreperously: Just as women in general, according to their nature
and their status, suffer far more from such things than do men. Both the joyous and
the tortuous outbursts of this relationship (which did not go all the way and which
left her an untouched maiden, as Anna told me)63 lasted the whole time until
Mahlers departure from Hamburg. (Mildenburgs appointment to Vienna followed
Gustavs, to the fortunate success of which she had contributed much, by two years,
after their close relationship was over.) The public knowledge of his relationship
with Mildenburg did, however, have a positive aspect at the theater and in the city,
as Gustav told me during that time of tough battles. In particular, people had attributed his unbelievably upstanding life in the context of the theater as nothing less
than homosexuality, which could have had the gravest consequences for him! The
occasion for this was the vehemence with which Mahler had from the very beginning
given his attentions to Bruno Walter,64 inspired by Walters musical genius; Mahler
even wanted to adopt [40] him! Run-of-the-mill people could not interpret this in
any other way until the affair with Mildenburg rehabilitated Gustav in their eyes.
When Mahler was named the director of the Vienna Opera, for which he
could thank his unbelievable artistic and administrative successes immediately after
assuming his position,65 it was naturally, above all, the singers, both male and
female, who courted his favor. They soon found out, however, that only merit,
hard work, and talent counted for him, which inspired them to give their very best.
The first and foremost of the prima donnas was Renard,66 whose perfected art of
singing and acting delighted Gustav. With her he produced, among others,
Djamileh, both Bohe`mes, and an assortment of new productions of old
r diese kluge Frau natu

rOpern, herrlich heraus. Sich mit Mahler gut zu stellen war fu
lich allerwichtigst & so unterlie sie nichts darin, &[41]verliebte sich, als allerWirksamstes, selbst in ihn! Sie erwies ihm die groten Aufmerksamkeiten, spendete
ihm einen mit prachtvollem Silbergeschirr ausgestatteten Theetisch in sein
Opernfoyer, wo er& sieim Zwischenakt sich starken konnten. Ihre geistreiche &
anmutige Art zu plaudern gefiel Gustav sehr, da er es ihr nicht wehrte, wenn sie
auch sonst ofter & langer als notig, dort bei ihm verweilte. Und da gestand sie
Gustav ihrefreilich von ihr, die langst mit dem Grafen Kinsky verbunden war &
ihn um keinen Preis fahren lassen hatte, nicht so ernst zu nehmendeLiebe! Mahler
aber, der sich nicht recht ihrer zu erwehren vermochte, &mich, wie immer &
berall, auch darin ins Vertrauen zogfrug mich in seiner Naivetat: ,,Was macht
u
man, wenn sich einem ein Frauenzimmer auf den Schoo setzt & einen zu lieben
hte; &, wie es leider fast immer sich
erklart?Aber auch diese Begeisterung verglu
zutragtwenn kein tief mensch-[42] liches Freundesband darunter liegtje heier
der Anfang war, umso enttauschter das Ende. Und so zog sich die Renardals sie
doch nicht all das bei Mahler erreicht, was die schrankenlose Phantasie ihr vorgezauck; verlie die geweihten
bertschlielich von ihm & der Oper grollend zuru
Raumenahm ihren Theetisch mit& heiratete den treu gebliebenen Grafen.
Nach der hoch bewunderten & in Wien zu langst gefeierten Primadonna, zog
die letztangekommene (ich glaube durch Mahler selbst, vom WienerKonservatorium engagierte) kleine Sopranheldin, Rita Michalek, Gustavs
Aufmerksamkeit auf sich. Er liebte es bes. mit ungewordenen, erst anbeginnenden
Kraften, aus denen er noch Alles machen konnte, sich zu befaen. Auch war es so
rlich, da er mit seiner reichsten Erfahrung den jungen Wesen auf der schweren
natu
neuen Bahn emporhalf; wobei er hinwiderum von ihrem Talent & Liebreiz sich
hlte:Wie Lehren & Aufnehmen von jeher innigst verband. [43] Und
gefeelt fu
r prachtige Leistungen, & von Mahler wunderbar wiedergeborene Werke,
was fu
waren die Folge von dem frohen Zusammenwirken; in denen sich der Neuling, mit
Macht das jugendliche Puppengespinnst durchbrechend, im Fluge auf die Hohen der
hnenkunst schwang: In der verkauften Braut & Regimentstochter, als
Gesangs- & Bu
Papagena, & als Page im Figaro, & vielen andern Partieen, sahen wir sie, unter des
Meisters Hand, sich immer lieblicher & freier entfalten. Und sie wollte, die
nstigung auszunu
tzen, womoglich Alles singen! Aber da machte ein
Begu
r, da das Baumchen nicht in
Spitzenkatarrh dem vorlaufig ein Ende, &sorgte dafu
nstlerisch,
den Himmel wuchs. Aber auch hier hatte sich Gustav nicht nur ku
sondern menschlich zu tief verstrickt, da erich wei nicht ob ausgesprochen oder
rlich, wie immer, hauslicher
unausgesprochenEhehoffnungen erweckte; die natu
Seits hintertrie-[44] ben, & von ihm selbst bald fallen gelaen wurden. So hinterlie
tzlings Groll & Enttauschung.
er auch nach dieser Episode im Herzen seines Schu
Doch war Mahler eine zu wichtige Personlichkeit um sich mit ihm dauernd zu vertiges Personchenda sie spater nicht
feinden& die Michalek ein herzlich gutmu
nur oft in der Operfreilich in bescheidenerem Maeunter ihm wirkte, sondern
operas, all to magnificent effect.67 To be on Mahlers good side had, of course, the
highest priority for this intelligent woman, who neglected nothing in that regard,
and[41] which was most effectivefell in love with him! She paid him the greatest
attentions, and donated a tea table with sumptuous silver tableware to his opera foyer,
where he and she could take refreshments during intermission. Gustav was so taken
by her witty and charming conversation that he did not resist when she lingered with
him considerably longer and more frequently than necessary. And then she confessed
to Gustav her love, which of course, coming from her, was not to be taken very seriously, since for the longest time she had had a liaison with Count Kinsky68 and would
under no circumstances have let him go. Mahler, however, who was not really capable
of fending her off, and as with all such matters, took me into his confidence and asked
in his navete: What does one do when a dame sets herself on your lap and declares
that she loves you? But this flame, too, died out; and unfortunately, as almost always
happens when there is no deeply human [42] bond of friendship behind it all, the
hotter the start, the more disappointing the end. And so Renard, having not attained
with Mahler everything that limitless fantasy had conjured up for her, finally retreated
disgruntled from him and the Opera, left the hallowed halls, took her tea table with
her, and married the count who had remained true to her.
Following this prima donna, so long and highly celebrated in Vienna, it was the
most recently arrived petite heroic soprano, Rita Michalek,69 who drew Gustavs
attention (I believe it was Mahler himself who hired her directly from the Vienna
Conservatory). He especially loved to engage himself with unpolished, burgeoning
talents out of which he could still make almost anything. And it was so natural that
he, with his wealth of experience, helped these young creatures up a new and difficult
path. For his part he felt enthralled by their talent and grace, as teaching and learning
have always formed the deepest of bonds. [43] And what resplendent accomplishments and, in Mahlers hands, wonderfully reborn works were the results of this
happy cooperation, in which the newcomer, breaking through the youthful cocoon
with force, took wing to the heights of the art of song and stage. In The Bartered
Bride, The Daughter of the Regiment, as Papagena, and as the Page in Figaro, and many
other roles,70 we saw her blooming ever more charmingly and freely in the hands of
the master. And, taking advantage of the privilege, she wanted to sing everything
possible! But then apicitis brought it all to a premature end and saw to it that the
little tree would not grow up to the heavens. But here, too, Gustav had become too
deeply involved, not only artistically but also personally, to the extent thatI do not
know whether explicitly or implicitlyhe had raised in her hopes of marriage, that,
of course and as always, were undermined at home [44] and that he himself soon
abandoned. Once again, this episode left a feeling of resentment and disappointment
in the heart of his protegee. But Mahler was too important a person to constantly
treat as an enemyand Michalek was a sincere and good-natured little person
such that she later performed under him often, not only at the Operaif less
Es sei auch hier auf die Mahlererinnerungen verwiesen.
nchen & andern Stadten) ,,das himmnach Jahren in seiner IV. Symphonie (in Mu
berirdischen Zauber sie unvergleichlich zum
lische Leben, dessen kindlich-heitern, u
cken
Ausdruck brachte, zu Gustavs neu auflebendem & uns andrer Aller-Entzu
nstlerin der hochdramatischen Richtung,
sang.Eine ernste & strebsamste Ku
beschaftigte & begeiste[r]te Mahler hierauf: Frau Sedlmayr, die wie eine Pythia aus
der Eingebung ihres Gottes, die groen Wagnergestalten zu bedeutendem Ausdruck
brachte.* Da man den Vergleich mit den allerhochsten Schopfungen des vollausgereiften Genies der Mildenburg darin noch nicht hatte, schien es einem kaum ein
Hoheres zu geben!Gewi [45] waren diese hingerien-hinreienden Leistungen
ckte Hingabe des Mediums
nur moglich durch die fast entselbstete, traumhaft-beru
hrer: Da sie auch, wie keine Zweite je, Gustav jeden Ton & jedes
an seinen groen Fu
Wort von den Lippen nahm. Eine solche Wirkung, konnte ohne Liebe der begeisterten Sangerin zu ihrem hochsten Vorbild kaum zu Stande kommen. Auch erzahlte
mir Gustav einmal nach solch einer Vorstellung, die sie zum hochsten Gipfel getragen
hatte, da die Sedlmayr seine Hande ergriffen & in leidenschaflicher Verehrung &
t habe. Da von Mahler diese Empfindungen auch nur ku
rzeste
Dankbarkeit geku
hrern v. Jugend &
Zeit erwidert wurdenes fehlte ihm hier an den machtigen Verfu
nstlerischen Thaten einschatzte, geschah aber
Schonheitso ho[c]h er ihre ku
nicht.
Und schon war ein Madchen auf den Schauplatz getreten, welches den Zauber
schoner & jugend-holder Erscheinung mit einer himmlischen Stimme vereinte, [46]
da sie Mahler sogleich im hochsten Mae anzog & ihre Gaben seine ganze
Aufmerksamkeit auf sich zogen. Es war Selma Kurz, die von ihrem ersten
rdiger Weise, weder Beachtung,
Engagement aus Frankfurt kam, wo sie aber merkwu
noch Beschaftigung gefunden hatte. Mahler erkannte an ihrer herrlich-klaren, leichtnftige Koloratursangerin. Unter seinem eifrigsten
beweglichen Stimme die ku
Annehmen machte sie, durch Gewienhaftigkeit, auerordentlichen Flei & ihr
groes Gesangstalent, schnellstens ungemeine Fortschritte. Von dem kleinen Gehalt,
bei welchem sie in die Wiener-Oper eintrat, stieg sie rapid, mit den wachsenden
Aufgaben, die ihr Gustav zuwies empor, um als immer hoher, bald hochst dotierte
prima- & unica-Donna im Coloraturfach den Gipfelpunkt zu erreichen;den sie
nachher Jahrzehnte, als anerkannter Liebling der Wiener innehatte.Dem Evchen
in den Meistersingern, welches sie Mahler einmal [47] studieren lie, & andern
nstlerisch & menschlich jedoch nicht gewachsentrotz
ernsten Gestalten, war sie ku
des besten Willens(:Der sie spater auch bei der Mildenburg, die damals in der
vollen Genialitat & Reife ihrer klaischen Leistungen standbei leider schon
lerin in die Lehre der hochsten Darstellungskunst
abnehmender Stimmeals Schu
gehen lie; doch fehlte es ihr da an Intelligenz & Groe zum Gelingen.) Was sie
cken der Entfal[t]ung ihres gottlichen
aber Mahler, der mit wachsendem Entzu
hrung einer Auswahl seiner
Organs folgte, besonders nah brachte, war die Auffu
See also the Mahler recollections. [NBL2, 97 98 and 107; not in NBLE]
frequentlybut also years later sang Das himmlische Leben in his Fourth
Symphony (in Munich and other cities),71 a work whose happy, childlike, unearthly
magic she expressed so incomparably, to the rekindled delight of Mahler and all of
us.After this, an earnest and most ambitious artist of the dramatic voice type occupied and delighted Mahler: Frau Sedlmayr,72 who, like a Pythia according to the
dictate of her god, infused the great Wagnerian figures with profound utterance.*,73
Since one could not yet draw a comparison with the supreme creations of
Mildenburgs genius in her prime, at that time it hardly seemed possible to go any
higher! Certainly [45] these rapturously entrancing accomplishments were only
possible by means of an almost self-sacrificial, somnambulistic surrender of the
medium to its great director, for she, too, but to a degree never matched by anyone
else, took every tone, every word directly from Gustavs lips.74 Such an effect could
hardly have come about without the love of the enraptured singer for her honored
mentor. Gustav once told me that after one of these performances, which had
brought her to the highest peak, Sedlmayr had gripped his hands and kissed them in
passionate devotion and gratitude. Whether or not Mahler reciprocated these feelings even for the shortest timein this respect he lacked something of the great
seducers of youth and beautynothing happened, even if he greatly admired her
artistic accomplishments.
And a girl had already arrived on the scene who united a beautiful, youthful
appearance with a heavenly voice, [46] so much so that she immediately attracted
Mahler to the utmost, completely captivating him with her gifts. It was Selma Kurz,75
who had arrived from her first engagement in Frankfurt, where for some strange
reason she had found neither acceptance nor much work. Mahler recognized the
future coloratura soprano in her wonderfully clear, light, and agile voice. Under his
most assiduous ministration she made unbelievably rapid progress by means of her
diligence, extraordinary hard work, and her enormous vocal talent. From the meager
wage with which she had started at the Vienna Opera, she soon rose quickly with the
growing responsibilities Gustav had assigned her, reaching ever higher and soon
arriving at the summit as the highest-paid prima and unica donna of the coloraturas,
a position she afterward maintained for decades as the acknowledged favorite of the
Viennese. Nevertheless, despite her best will, she did not measure up either artistically or humanly to Evchen in Die Meistersinger, which Mahler once [47] had her
study, or to other serious roles.76 (Later he also had her go to Mildenburg, who by
then stood in the full brilliance and maturity of her classic achievementsalthough
unfortunately with a somewhat receding voiceas a pupil in the school of highest
dramatic art; but she was lacking in the intelligence and greatness necessary to
succeed.) However, what brought her especially close to Mahler, who followed the
(da sie, in kleinlicher Rache, auch niemehr, in ihren glanzvoll-alljahrlichen Konzerten, eines
von Gustavs Liedern sangselbst nach dessen Tode, nicht.)
Lieder mit Orchesterbegleitung in einem philharmonischen Konzert, zu der er

Selma Kurz ausersehen. Er schickte ihr eine Abschrift dieser Gesange ohne
Namensnennung darauf, um zu sehen welchen Eindruck sie davon empfing; & als
sie ihr auerordentlich gefielen, gab er sich als Urheber zu erkennen, & erbat
ihre Konzert-Mitwirkung. [48] Bei dem Studium & den Proben dazudie Kurz
hrung, die Lieder wunderbar
sang unter Gustavs eingehendster Anleitung & Fu
aber war es um ihn vollends geschehen; & diesmal verlor er sich an die ihm willig
ck, weil sie als Mensch fu
r Mahler viel
Entgegenkommende. Es brachte kein Glu
zu unbedeutend war, & ihn auch gleich wieder die Reue ergriff. Ich erinnere mich,
wie er eines Tags jener Zeit, mit mir spazierengehend, verzweifelt & wie aus allen
hlte, weil er (er hatte eben Tolstojs ,,Auferstehung gelesen),
Angeln gehoben sich fu
hrt & indem er es verlie, sie auf
sich als der Elende erschien, der ein Wesen verfu
pfriger Bahn von Einem zum Andern forttrieb! Trotzdem wahrte das Verhaltnis
schlu
rde zu einer Ehe
einige Zeit, & die Kurz beschaftigte sicher der Gedanke, es wu
hren& Mahler in manchen [49] Stunden gewi auch. Unter diesem Zeichen
fu
ward von uns Allen eine Osterfahrt nach Venedig unternommen, welche ich in
meinen Mahleraufzeichnungen schilderte.Als Gustav aber auch hier endgiltig
rnung der sich so getauscht Fu
hlenden.
brach, war es freilich zur hochsten Erzu
r einige Zeit nach Paris, &
Sie ging, auf Mahler unversohnlich bose* vorerst fu
ck. Dadurch
kehrte erst als bekannte Geliebte Rothschilds wieder hierher zuru
rchtungen & Selbstvorwu
rfe, zunachst nur zu
erschienen Mahlers Tolstojsche Befu
gerechtfertigt. Bis auch dieses Verhaltnisich glaube mit dem Tod Rothschilds
(?)endete, & die viel Umworbene sich spater mit dem Gynakologen Halban zu
cklicher Ehe verband.
glu
Hier mu ich, zu Erklarung & Entschulden Mahlers, der durch diese haufigen,
& kurz dauernden Liebesbeziehungen als eine Art Blaubart erscheinen mochte,
ckhaltendes, allerkeuschestes Leben,
Folgendes sagen: Es war gerade sein [50] zuru
rftig machte & in dem Zustand bestandiger Verliebung erhielt;
welches ihn so bedu
berhitzte Theater-Atmosphare das ihre dazu bei; &
(freilich trug die aufregende, u
Gustav verglich sie oft mit Zunder, wo Alles fortwahrend drohe in Flammen aufzugehen!) Wenn aber freche Recensenten, oder andre tiefststehende-Menschen, die in
keinem Sinne wert waren Mahler auch nur den Schuhriemen zu losen, ihm das Leben
eines Libertins vorwarfen, so war dies bewute, oder unbewute Niedertracht &
ge! Eine Geschichte, die sich auch jener Zeit zutrug, moge dies es beleuchten: Dr.
Lu
B . . ., ein Bekannter & hochst unbedeutender Mensch & Arzt, deen Gesellschaft
nschte,
Gustav weit ofter als ihm lieb war, von den Seinen aufgezwungen wurde, wu
berangestrengt war & u
bel aussah, in dem ,,gewien Punkt
da Letzterer, der u
(such that she, in petty revenge, also never again sang any of Gustavs Lieder in her dazzling
annual concerts, not even after his death.) [Natalie is mistaken here: on at least one occasion
shortly after Mahlers departure from Vienna in 1907a recital at the Gesellschaft der
Musikfreunde in Vienna on 10 December 1907Selma Kurz sang, with piano accompaniment,
the same three Wunderhorn lieder she had premiered on the Philharmonic concert of 14 January
1900, with Mahler conducting.]
development of her divine instrument with growing delight, was the performance of a
selection of his songs with orchestral accompaniment in one of the Philharmonic concerts, for which he had selected Selma Kurz.77 He sent her a copy of these songs
without naming the composer, in order to see what an impression they would make on
her; and when they appealed to her greatly, he revealed himself as the author and asked
for her collaboration in the concert. [48] In studying and rehearsing for itKurz sang
the lieder wonderfully under Gustavs most attentive guidance and conductinghe
absolutely fell for her; and this time he became completely lost in her as she willingly
reciprocated. It did not lead to happiness because she was far too uninteresting to
Mahler as a person, and he was immediately gripped by regret. I remember one day
during this time, as he was taking a walk with me, how desperate and utterly disoriented
he felt (he had just read Tolstoys Resurrection),78 because he seemed like the wretch
who seduces someone and abandons her, whereupon she slides down the slippery slope
of being handed from one to the other! Despite this, the relationship lasted for some
time, and Kurz was certainly dealing with the question of whether it would lead to marriageas did Mahler, at certain [49] times as well. It was under these circumstances
that we all took an Easter trip to Venice, which I described in my Mahler recollections.79But when Gustav here, too, finally broke it off, it was clearly to the utter irritation of Kurz, who felt she had been misled. Irreconcilably angry at Mahler, she* at first
went to Paris for a while and returned here as Rothschilds80 well-known mistress.
Initially this only seemed to confirm Mahlers Tolstoyan fears and self-accusations, until
this relationship, too, endedI believe with Rothschilds death (?)and the muchcourted woman later ended up happily married to the gynecologist Halban. Here I must
say the following by way of explanation and in vindication of Mahler, who because of
these frequent and short-lived love affairs might appear as a kind of Bluebeard:81 it was
precisely his [50] reserved and extremely chaste lifestyle that made him so needy and
kept him in a state of perpetual infatuation (of course, the excitable, overheated atmosphere of the theater contributed its fair share as well; Gustav often compared it to tinder
that was continually threatening to set everything ablaze!). But when impertinent critics
or others from the lowest forms of humanity, who were in no way even worthy of untying
Mahlers shoestrings, accused him of living the life of a libertine, then this was conscious
or unconscious perfidy and lies! One episode that also happened during that time serves
as an example. Dr. B . . . ,82 an acquaintance and utterly unimportant person and physician whose company was forced upon Gustav by his family far more often than he
wished, wanted Gustav, who was overworked and looking sickly, to pursue a certain
,,hygienischer lebe, & zu einer Ehe, oder dem bekannten abscheulichen Ausweg sich
cken, [51] zwischen dem Arztentschliee (: Dies ward hinter Mahlers Ru
Opernfreund, Justi & Rose verhandelt, denn Gustav selbst damit zu kommen, hatte
man nie gewagt!) Da aber von Heiratsplanen Justi, um Gott, nichts wissen wollte,
ward zwischen ihnen das folgende Komplott geschmiedet, in das, den Bruder zu
rzender vielleicht mit Selbstvorwu
rfen sich oft in mehrer Art sorgendene
stu
Schwesterunschwer gelang: Sie brachten Gustav unter einem Vorwand mit dem
schonsten Opernmitglied, der Figurantin Abel allein zusammen, in Absicht &
Hoffnung, da Diese ihnals Geliebten festhalten sollte! Womit aber endigte dieses
haliche, bei Mahler ganz & gar verfehlte Beginnen? Da Gustav, als er der Schonen
nsche & Ku
nste bemerkte, ihreine groe Tugendpredigt hielt, & die
Wu
r Mahler
Erstauntewol kaum Bekehrtedamit verlie!Ein andrer Fall, der sich fu
einige Jahre spater, als er schon verheiratet war, in hochst widerwartiger Weise
zutrugdurch einen spionierenden Reporter an die groe Glocke gehangt,[52]
zeigte wie diese Art Menschen seine ganz andre, auch harmloseste Art des Verkehrs
ckt von den genimit Frauen mideutete & in den Kot zog. Gustav war damals entzu
alen Gesangs- & Darstellungsgaben der Schoderwelcher nur leider die Schonheit
der Stimme fehlte, sonst ware sie unschatzbar, wie unbezahlbar, gewesen; da sie auch
eine auerst geistvolle Frau war, unterhielt sich Mahler allerangeregtest mit ihr &,
wenn sie in der Oper gesungen, plauderten sie nachher oft noch lang zusammen.
Dabei ward es einmal unversehens so spat, da sie, fort wollend, alle Ausgange des
Opernhauses verschloen fanden, & erst nach langem Herumirren in dem
Riesengebaude, gelang es ihnen, ich wei nicht mehr wie, ins Freie zu gelangen. Den
nachsten Tag aber stand in allen Zeitungen, durch [53] die niedertrachtige
rt & ausposaunt: ,,Direktor Mahler &
Indiskretion jenes Recensentenspitzels ausgespu
Frau Gutheil-Schoder seien nach der Vorstellung letzte Nacht in der Oper eingeber!
schloen gewesen etz.: & es ward ein Skandal & Gelachter in ganz Wien daru
r, als da es etwas Andres denn ein
Ich aber wute, & kannte Gustav zu gut dafu
ndchen mit einem Menschen, der ihn intereierte & den er hoch hielt,
Plauderstu
ckflo, die ihn damit u
bergewesen war, so da Schand & Spott ganz auf Jene zuru
ttet hatten. Sollte es aber auch Liebe & nicht nur Freundschaft gewesen sein, die
schu
mmert & ihnen erlaubt,
Beide damals festhielt, was hatt es jene frechen Angeber geku
das Empfinden zweier hohen & ernsten Menschen, (welches zu ihren gemein-frivolen
Mutmaungen sich nur verhalten konnte, wie die Liebe eines Jupiter zu der geilen
Lust von Satyrn)dies zu besudeln & in den Staub zu zerren?
[54] Und nun bin ich dem groten Ereignis von Mahlers Liebesleben schon
ber nichts zu
vorausgeeilt: Seiner Ehe mit Alma Schindler. Doch bleibt mir daru
sagen, weil seit jener Zeit aller Verkehr zwischen Mahler & mir aufgehort, ich seine
Frau nie kennenlernte & seinem Leben nicht mehr mit dem eignen Auge folgte.
Zur Erganzung la mich zum Schlu nur noch einiger Frauen gedenken, die
Mahler, zwar nicht im Sinne der Liebe, aber durch Freundschaft allernachst verbunden waren: Nina Hoffmann (die geschiedene Frau des seiner Zeit bekannten
aspect of his life more hygienically, and to decide either for marriage or the wellknown despicable alternative. (This was negotiated behind Mahlers back [51] between
the doctor/opera fan, Justi, and Rose, since one would not have dared to go directly to
Gustav himself with it!) Since Justi, good heavens, wanted to hear nothing of wedding
plans, they hatched the following scheme, which was not difficult for the concerned
sisterwho was perhaps often troubled by self-reproach of several sortsto foist upon
her brother: under some pretense they arranged for Gustav to be alone with the prettiest
member of the opera company, an extra named Abel,83 with the intention and hope
that she would take him on as her lover! How did this ugly and, in the case of Mahler,
entirely misguided beginning end up? Once Gustav noticed the beautiful creatures
desires and designs, he gave her a lengthy sermon on virtue and left the astonished,
although hardly converted woman just standing there! Another incident, which happened to Mahler in a most unpleasant manner a number of years later, after he was
already married, and which was trumpeted from the rooftops by a spying reporter, [52]
demonstrates how this type of person misinterpreted Mahlers entirely different and altogether harmless interaction with women, and dragged him through the muck for it.
Gustav was at that time delighted by the brilliant vocal and acting talents of Schoder,84
who unfortunately was only lacking in the beauty of her voice, or otherwise she would
have been both invaluable and unaffordable. Because she was also a very bright woman,
Mahler would talk to her most animatedly, and when she sang at the Opera they often
chatted together for a long time afterward. Once, in the course of this and unbeknownst
to them, it got to be so late that when they wanted to leave they found all the exits of
the opera house locked; only after much wandering about in the huge building did they
succeed, I no longer know how, in getting out. The next day all the newspapers, tipped
off by [53] the demeaning indiscretion of a reviewers informant, blazoned forth:
Director Mahler and Frau Gutheil-Schoder were locked inside the Opera after last
nights performance etc., and there was a scandal and much guffawing in all of Vienna!
But I knew Gustav too well and realized that it had been nothing but a little conversation
with a person who interested him and whom he respected, and so the shame and ridicule
came right back to those who had cast this upon him. And even had it been love and
not only friendship that detained the two of them that night, what business would it
have been of such impudent blowhards to allow themselves to sully and drag through the
dirt the feeling of two exceptional and earnest peoplea feeling that, in comparison to
such vulgarly frivolous conjectures, is like the love of a Jupiter in relation to the salacious
lust of satyrs?85
[54] And at this point I have already anticipated the most important event in
Mahlers love life: his marriage to Alma Schindler.86 Yet I have nothing to say about
this, because since that time all interaction between Mahler and me stopped, I never
met his wife, and I was no longer able to follow his life with my own eyes.
Finally, as an addendum, I just want to mention a few women who were very
close to Mahler, not in the sense of love, but in friendship: Nina Hoffmann87 (the
divorced wife of the once famous landscape painter) and Nanna88in her first
Landschaftsmalers) & Nannain erster Ehe Lipiner, in zweiter Spiegler. Erstere, die
geist- & phantasievolle Schriftstellerin, eine in Seele, wie Erscheinung intereante,
hochst bewegte & herzenswarme Frau, das alteste Mitglied des Lohr-LipinerMahlerschen Freundeskreises. Sie reprasentirtewenn ichs so nennen konntedie
in Mahlers Jugendjahren stark ausgepragte Seite der Romantik. Anfanglich Gustav
tief [55] befreundetnoch in Berchtesgaden traf ich sie als lang verweilenden Gast
des Hauses anschob sich spater, das gute Einvernehmen storendteils durch ihre
eigene groe Empfindlichkeit, mehr noch durch Justis Eifersucht & Abfall von ihr
immer mehr dazwischen, da Nina in den folgenden Jahren nur mehr mit den
ngern Mahlerbru
dern, Otto, & sogar dem Tunichtgut Alois verkehrte, deren sie
ju
sich in Warme annahm.
nglich mehr unpersonlicher Art. Fru
h
Die Beziehung zu Nanna war urspru
schon feelte Gustav ihre auerordentliche Musikalitat & ihr treffliches, ,,kapellmeisterartiges Klavierspiel, das er oft vierhandig erprobte. Im Lauf der Jahre aber
pfte sich das Band auch menschlich immer enger & Mahler lernte wachsend
knu
Nannas herrliche, reinste Seele bewundern, wie ihren hochbegabten, reichen, auch
humoristisch schlagfertigsten, wahrhaft klaischen Geist, da diese Freundschaft
unge-[56] schwacht bis zu seiner Verheiratung dauerte. Es war dies umso hoher
anzuschlagen, als Nanna bei Mahlers Werken oft nicht mitging, (die sie freilich,
gend kennen lernen
durch ihr zunehmendes schwer-Leidensein, auch nicht genu
konnte) was sie in ihrer groen Aufrichtigkeit, Gustav nicht verhehlte. Das hatte
er nicht leicht einem Menschen vergeben: Nicht aus Eitelkeit, sondern weil er sich
hlte.
& sein Hochstes dadurch verneint fu
Zur Zeit von Mahlers Wieneropern-Leitung, verkehrte er auer Hause fast nur
r
mit Spieglers & Lipiners; da aber aufs Allerintensivste, da wir oft Abend fu
Abend, bei Diesen oder Jenen, & hinwiederum sie bei Mahlers mit uns zusammenberschaumentrafen. Und von der hinreienden Lebendigkeit, Angeregtheit, & oft u
den Frohlichkeit dieser Abende, kann man sich nicht leicht einen Begriff machen!
Wie Gustav Nannas Gatten Albert herzlich zugetan war, so auch seines hochsten
[57/1] Freundes Lipiners zweiter Frau, Clementine (geb. Spiegler, Alberts
Schwester), deren Ernst & bedeutender Intellektbei einer damit kontrastierenden
naiven Weltungewandtheit & komischen Vergelichkeitihn gleichfalls warm
anzog.Tief bewegte & feelte ihn, wannimmer sie unter uns weilte, die Anmut,
durchgeistigte Schonheit & das tragischeste Geschick meiner geliebtesten Freundin
llJosefine (Braun-Spiegler, Clementinens altere Schwester), deren Tod eine unausfu
cke in unsere Reihen schlug.Was die letzte, kurze, aber sehr warme
bare Lu
Freundschaftsverbindung Mahlers vor seiner Ehe mit Henriette Mankiewicz anbelangt, so verweise ich auf deren Darstellung in meinen Mahlererinnerungen.
[57/2] Mit Mahlers Verheiratung bekam das langjahrige, freudig-fruchtbare
Zusammensein, von ihm & seines Lebens altesten Freunden, einen irreparablen Ri:
Durch Migunst & Eifersucht seiner Frau, welche an die Stelle der von Justi getreten
war; mit veranderten Objekten, doch in nicht geringerem Umfang. Aber Gustavso
cklich seine Ehe sonst gewesen zu sein scheintkonnte die Trennung von ihnen
glu
marriage Lipiner, in her second Spiegler. The first, a bright and imaginative writer, a
very lively and heartwarming woman who was interesting in both soul and appearance, the oldest member of the Lohr-Lipiner-Mahler circle of friends. She representedif I could call it suchthe aspect of Romanticism that was such a strong
feature of Mahlers youthful years. Although she was at first a close [55] friend of
Gustavsin Berchtesgaden I met her as a guest who had been staying in the house a
long timetheir mutual understanding was later disturbed in part by her own heightened touchiness and even more by Justis jealousy and growing coldness to hersuch
that increasingly there developed a distance between them, and in subsequent years
Nina only spent time with the younger Mahler brothers, Otto and even the neer-dowell Alois, whom she accepted with sincere warmth.89
The relationship with Nanna was at first somewhat impersonal. Early on Gustav
felt captivated by her exceptional musicality and her superb Kapellmeister style of
piano playing,90 which he often put to the test in four-hand readings. But over the
years the connection grew ever closer and more personal, and increasingly Mahler
learned to admire Nannas magnificent and most pure soul as well as her highly
gifted, rich and humorous, witty and veritably Classical mind, such that this friendship [56] lasted unabated until his marriage. This was all the more admirable and significant because Nanna often did not go along with Mahlers works (which,
admittedly, she could not get to know sufficiently because of her increasingly serious
illness). With great candor, she did not hide this from Gustav. This he would not
have easily forgiven someonenot out of vanity, but because it made him feel that
he and his highest possession were thus somehow negated. During the time of
Mahlers directorship of the Vienna Opera he spent social time outside the home
almost exclusively in the company of the Spieglers and Lipiners, but with them all
the more intensely, such that evening after evening we met up in the home of one or
the other, or at the Mahlers. It is difficult to describe the enchanting liveliness,
excitement, and effervescent enthusiasm we felt those evenings! How sincerely
Gustav took a liking to Nannas husband, Albert,91 as well as his best [57/1] friend
Lipiners second wife, Clementine (nee Spiegler, Alberts sister),92 whose earnestness
and notable intellect, combined with a sharply contrasting worldly navete and
comical forgetfulness, also strongly attracted him. He was also deeply moved and
entranced by the charm, spiritual beauty, and the tragic fate of my most beloved
friend, Josephine (Braun-Spiegler, Clementines older sister), whenever she was with
us; her death left behind an irreplaceable void in our ranks. Regarding the last, brief,
but very warm bond of friendship that Mahler formed with Henriette Mankiewicz93
before his marriage, I refer to the account of this in my Mahler recollections.94
[57/2] Mahlers marriage brought with it an irreparable rift in the long-established, joyously fruitful togetherness that had developed between him and his lifes
oldest friends: This was due to the resentment and jealousy of his wife, who, having
taken the place of Justi, directed these [feelings] at other objects, but with no less
magnitude. Yet Gustav, however happy his marriage otherwise seemed to be, was not
auf die Dauer nicht ertragen: Besonders da ihn Almanicht zum Letzten, zur
Loslosung von den alten Freundenauf viele Winter nach Amerika zog. Als er in
den Ferien heimkam, suchte er eines Tags Lipiner wieder auf; & ein Jahr spater
hlen! Als Letztere
Nanna: Und er schien sich erlost, in ihrer Wiedervereinigung zu fu
ihn aber frug, ob Alma drum wie? gab er ihr zur [58] Antwort, er werde es ihr ,,auf
ckfahrt nach Amerika) sagen. Worauf sie sein Gestandnis mit
dem Meer (bei der Ru
den Worten strafte: er sei doch immer noch der alte Feigling!Von einem
Wiedersehen mit mir aber ward er, als der ihm einst Zunahgestandenen, dauernd mit
allen Mitteln der Beeinfluung abgehalten. Ich hab es auch nicht erwartetunter den
nscht, & keinen eignen Schritt dazu getan.
bestehenden Umstanden kaum gewu
Nur manchmal, vernahm ich, stieg, wie durch einen Erinnerungstrank, mein Bild vor
Mahler auf: So als er meine ,,Fragmente las, bei denen er lange & tief ergriffen verweilte.
ber verdroen, gegen das Buch eifernd sagte: Specht habe
Und als seine Frau, daru
die & das nicht gut gefunden darin, brauste Gustav auf & rief: Specht sei ein E . . . ,
& nicht wert meinen Namen zu nennen! Ein andermal, erzahlte mir Walter, mit dem
Mahlervor Almaheimlich (!) Spaziergange machte, er habe ihm von mir gesagt,
r seine Person & sein Schaffen schmerzlich
da er das tiefste Verstehen [59] fu
ndlichen & schriftlichen Wort, &
vermie, wie ich es ihm entgegengebracht, im mu
tausend Diensten, was er in ahnlicher Weise nie mehr im Leben finden konne. / .
Verzeih, mein Lieber, da ich deen zum Schlu hier erwahne; aber es tonte
r seine Seele & meinewie ein harmonischer Nachklang des so
mir dies Wortfu
unharmonischen Abbruchs unsres tiefen & langsten Verbundenseins.
Von ganzem Herzen
Deine Natalie B.-L.
capable of suffering the break with them over the long term, especially since Alma
had taken him off to America for many winters, not least to break free from his
old friends.95 One day, when he came home for vacation, he called again on Lipiner,
and the following year, Nanna; and he seemed to feel liberated by their reunion! But
when Nanna asked him whether Alma knew, he [58] answered that he would tell
her on the ocean (on the return trip to America), whereupon she sharply retorted
to his confession that he was still the old coward! He was, however, constantly preventedby all possible means of influencing himfrom again seeing me, the person
who at one time had been seen as too close to him. I also did not expect it; under the
circumstances at the time, I would scarcely have wanted it, and took no steps of my
own in that direction. Only now and again, as I learned, did my image appear to
Mahler, as if elicited by a memory potion. For instance, the time he read my
Fragments,96 which he dwelled upon long and intensively. And when his wife, irritated by this, spoke up against the book by saying that Specht97 had found this and
that in it not very good, Gustav erupted and yelled: Specht is an a[ss] and not worthy
to speak my name! Another Walter, whobecause of Almasecretly (!) took walks
with Mahler, told me that in talking about me Mahler sorely missed the deepest
understanding [59] for his personality and his works that I provided him in conversation and in writing, as well as the thousand favors, the likes of which he would never
be able to find again in his life.
Forgive me, my dear, that I mention this in closing, but to me these words rang
outfor his soul and minelike a harmonious echo of the so inharmonious break in
our deep and most abiding attachment.
With all my heart,
Your Natalie B.-L.
Notes
1. Hans Riehl (18911965) was a close friend of Natalies who worked with her during her later
years to prepare her recollections of Mahler for publication. The project was not completed;
Erinnerungen an Gustav Mahler did not appear in print until 1923, two years after Natalies death, and
then only in a severely abridged version edited by Johann Killian, the husband of Natalies niece,
Friederike: Natalie Bauer-Lechner, Erinnerungen an Gustav Mahler (Leipzig, Vienna, Zurich: E.P. Tal,
1923; hereinafter NBL1). English ed.: Recollections of Gustav Mahler, trans. Dika Newlin, ed. Peter
Franklin (New York: Cambridge University Press, 1980; hereinafter NBLE). A second, expanded
edition by Johanns son Herbert, titled Gustav Mahler in den Erinnerungen von Natalie Bauer-Lechner,
appeared in 1984 (Hamburg: Karl Dieter Wagner Verlag; hereinafter NBL2).
3. This was Josephine Poisl, for whom Mahler wrote three songs in 1880: Im Lenz, Winterlied,
and Maitanz im Grunen. Between September 1879 and March 1880, Mahler expressed his distress
concerning his affair with Josephine in several letters to his friend Anton Krisper (18591914); see
Herta Blaukopf, ed., Gustav Mahler Briefe, 2nd rev. ed. (Vienna: Zsolnay, 1996), nos. 79, and Knud
Martner, ed., Selected Letters of Gustav Mahler, trans. Eithne Wilkins, Ernst Kaiser, and Bill Hopkins
(New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1979), nos. 5 9. The letter postmarked 3 March contains a desolate four-stanza poem, Vergessene Liebe (Forgotten love).
4.
Mahler attended the Vienna Conservatory from 1875 to 1878.
5. One of these women was Johanna Richter, for whom Mahler also wrote six known poems, four of
which were set to music as Lieder eines fahrenden Gesellen. See Mahlers letter to Friedrich Lohr of 1
January 1885, in Blaukopf, Gustav Mahler Briefe, no. 32; Martner, Selected Letters of Gustav Mahler, no.
29. Mahler was a conductor at the Konigliches Theater in Kassel from August 1883 to June 1885.
6. Natalie is mistaken here. Two of Mahlers fourteen Lieder und Gesange published by Schott in
1892, Erinnerung and Fruhlingsmorgen, set texts by Richard Leander, the pen name of the accomplished German surgeon, Richard von Volkmann (1830 89). The poems of the Gesellenlieder are
Mahlers, but were not identified as such in the first orchestral and piano-vocal editions (Vienna:
Weinberger, 1897).
7. These poems are not included in the heretofore published versions of Natalies Recollections; see,
however, Henry-Louis de La Grange, Mahler: Chronique dune vie (Paris: Fayard, 1979), 1:107576.
8. The poem quoted, Ging heut morgen ubers Feld, is set as the second of the Lieder eines fahrenden
Gesellen; the melody serves as the central theme of the first movement of Mahlers First Symphony.
9. Natalie may be thinking of Betty Frank, a soprano in Prague with whom Mahler seems to have had
a relationship during his engagement there at the German Theater from August 1885 to July 1886.
Frank sang the first performances of Fruhlingsmorgen, Hans und Grethe, and one of the Lieder eines
fahrenden Gesellen ( probably Ging heut morgen ubers Feld) at a concert on 18 April 1886. Two of
Mahlers letters to Friedrich Lohr (Blaukopf, Gustav Mahler Briefe, nos. 50 and 51, August 1886;
Martner, Selected Letters, nos. 46 and 47) indicate that the dissolution of this affair upon Mahlers
departure for Leipzig was very difficult for Betty Frank.
2. Albine Adler (1870 1927) was a family friend of the Mahlers (no relation to Guido Adler), who
also grew up in Iglau and was especially close to Justine Mahler. Albi Adler figures relatively frequently
in Mahlers correspondence with his sister; she moved to Vienna in the late 1890s. See Stephen
McClatchie, ed. and trans., The Mahler Family Letters (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2006), 73; and
McClatchie, ed., Gustav Mahler: Liebste Justi!: Briefe an die Familie, redacted by Helmut Brenner
(Bonn: Weidle Verlag, 2006), 117n5.
10. Marion von Weber (1856 1931): see n. 12.

11. Until 1873, the city of Budapest consisted of two separately named areas, Buda and Pest; Natalie
refers to Budapest and Pest interchangeably.
12. Karl von Weber (184997) was an army officer and grandson of Carl Maria von Weber. Weber
had asked Mahler to complete his grandfathers comic opera, Die drei Pintos, from sketches left
after the composers death; the premiere of the arrangement in January 1888 was a major success.
Marion von Weber (1856 1931), nee Schwabe, originally from England, was the wife of Karl von
Weber; they had three children.
13. Natalie is mistakenMarion was only four years older than Mahler.
14. Um schlimme Kinder artig zu machen is the title of a single Wunderhorn song Mahler composed
for the Weber children; although he wrote other songs for them, there was no cycle as such.
16. Mahlers First Symphony was completed in late March 1888, when he was a conductor at the
Neues Stadttheater in Leipzig (August 1886May 1888). In 1907, the Dutch conductor Willem
Mengleberg visited Marion von Weber (by then a widow) and was permitted to examine Mahler
manuscripts he had given her, including the First Symphony with the Blumine Andante, which was
inscribed on its title sheet In glucklicher Stunde (In a happy hour) and at the end of the movement,
An M. zum Geburtstage von M (To M. for her birthday from M). See Eduard Reeser, ed., Gustav
Mahler und Holland: Briefe (Vienna: Universal Edition, 1980), 89 91.
17. . . . hatte die Welt fur mich ein Loch (see NBL2, 175; NBLE, 159). Probably a reference to
Paracelsus (Theophrast von Hohenheim, 1493/41541), De Matrice: Das die welt ein loch hat,
dadurch gottes hant aus dem himel in sie greift und macht in ir was er will (The world has a hole in it,
through which Gods hand reaches from heaven and does whatever he wishes with it). Mahlers allusion is rife with implications. It could be a reference to the power of inspiration he felt at that time in
writing the First Symphony, as if the hand of God were intervening in his compositional pursuit,
perhaps even more specifically in the deus ex machina moment of the finale (mm. 370ff ). Another
intriguing dimension emerges in the continuation of the quote from Paracelsus: Und das er also die
frauen zu einer welt gemacht hat, in der der mensch geboren sol werden (And that he made women
into a world in which the human being would be born). Paracelsus here links the human (microcosm)
with all of creation (macrocosm) by means of the reproductive act and the female body. Thus Mahlers
turn of phrase ingeniously captures both his love affair and his artistic creativity, a habit of mind that
also emerges in his reading of Goethes Faust. For more on this passage in Paracelsus, see Hildegard
Elisabeth Keller, Seeing Microcosma: Paracelsuss Gendered Epistemology, in Paracelsian Moments:
Science, Medicine and Astrology in Early Modern Europe, ed. Gerhild Scholz Williams and Charles
D. Gunnoe, Jr. (Kirksville: Truman State University Press, 2002), 108. Mahler may also have had in
mind the Old Testament figure of Jacob, whom he greatly admired (see NBL2, 76; NBLE, 76). In
Genesis 28:1217, Jacob dreams that he is at the portal to heaven, where there is a ladder on which
the angels ascend and descend, and through which the Lord speaks to him.
18. Beginning on 9 March 1888, the Leipzig Stadt-Theater was closed for ten days of mourning for
the recently deceased Kaiser Wilhelm I. Mahler spent the time working on his First Symphony, which
15. Mahlers completion of Die drei Pintos had its highly successful premiere in Leipzig on 20 January
1888, and was widely performed thereafter. One or two days later, while his room was still bedecked
with celebratory flowers from the premiere, Mahler was working on the Todtenfeier (first) movement
of the Second Symphony and suddenly had a panic vision of his own corpse on a bier; he could not
overcome his anguish until Marion von Weber removed all the flowers (NBL2, 50; NBLE, 53).
was completed at the end of the month (La Grange, Mahler: Chronique dune vie, 1:271; McClatchie,
The Mahler Family Letters, and McClatchie, Briefe an die Familie, nos. 50 55).
19. An altered quotation of quel giorno piu` non vi leggemmo avante, line 138 from Canto V of
Dantes Linferno (That day no farther did we read therein). The line is the last spoken by Francesca da
Rimini: When as we read of the much-longed-for smile / Being by such a noble lover kissed, / This
one, who neer from me shall be divided, / Kissed me upon the mouth all palpitating. / Galeotto was
the book and he who wrote it. / That day no farther did we read therein (trans. Henry Wadsworth
Longfellow, http://italian.about.com/library/anthology/dante/blinferno005.htm). Galeotto is the
Italianization of Galehaut, a significant figure in Lancelot, the book Francesca and Paolo had been
reading when they yielded to adulterous passion; Galehaut had acted as intermediary between
Lancelot and Queen Guinevere during their illicit affair in Camelot.
21. In her memoir Impressions that Remained, 2nd ed. (London: Longmans, Green and Co., 1919),
2:16566, the English composer Ethel Smyth, who in 1888 was living in Leipzig, recounts that one
day, travelling to Dresden in the company of strangers, Weber suddenly burst out laughing, drew a
revolver, and began taking William Tell-like shots at the head-rests between the seats. He was overpowered, the train brought to a standstill, and they took him to the police station raving madthence
to an asylum . . . I afterwards heard he had lucid intervals, that his wife in an agony of remorse refused
to see her lover again . . . and the rest is silence.
22. Natalies use of scare quotes around Ausgleiche (compromises) may be an allusion to the
Ausgleich of 1867 that resulted in the so-called dual monarchy of Austria Hungary.
23. Hans von Bulow (183094), an eminent conductor, composer, and pianist, was a strong advocate
of Mahlers abilities on the podium but skeptical of his talents as a composer. Bulows first wife, Cosima
(18371930), the daughter of Franz Liszt, left him after thirteen years of marriage when she fell in love
with Richard Wagner (181383). Natalie is alluding to Bulows apparent sanctioning of his wifes
change of heart, even though he himself never fully recovered from these events.
24. Starhembergersee (Starnbergersee) lies about twenty kilometers southwest of Munich; Tutzing is
the principal town on the lake.
25. Mary Fiedler (18541919), nee Meyer; her second marriage was to Hermann Levi (18391900),
one of the most respected conductors of his time, who was Generalmusikdirektor in Munich and was
closely associated with many leading composers, most prominently, Richard Wagner. Mahler was in
contact with Levi at the time, who reported to him about Cosima Wagners enthusiasm over Die drei Pintos.
26. Justine Mahler (1868 1938). In October 1889, she joined her brother Gustav in Budapest following the death of both their parents, and lived with him until August 1890, when she moved to
Vienna to supervise two of their younger siblings, Otto and Emma. In the autumn of 1894 Justine
resumed residence with Gustav, now in Hamburg, and continued to provide a household for him until
his marriage to Alma Schindler on 9 March 1902. Justine married Arnold Rose, Mahlers concertmaster at the Vienna Court Opera, the following day.
27. NBL2, 21 22; NBLE, 27 28. The visit took place in late October and early November 1890.
28. Either Natalie is writing rhetorically here or her memory has failed her: Mahlers affair with
Marion von Weber ended in the late spring of 1888. Following the Budapest stagnation, as Mahler
later characterized it (NBL2, 172; not in NBLE), he resumed composing in January 1892. By late July
1894, he had completed his Second Symphony, and the Third would follow two years later.
20. Natalie is referring to the second act of Tristan und Isolde, in which the lovers engage in a lengthy
symbolic dialogue concerning the passion of night versus the harsh reality of daylight, even as the
night of their tryst is slowly turning to day.
29. Bianca Bianchi (18551947), actually Bertha Schwarz, German coloratura soprano, came to the
Budapest Opera in 1889 after engagements in various German theaters; she later married Bernhard
Pollini (see n. 59). Josefine von Artner (Artenyi) (?18641932) trained at the Vienna Conservatory,
sang in Leipzig, Vienna, and Hamburg; she was the soprano soloist for the world premiere of Mahlers
Second Symphony on 13 December 1895. Laura Hilgermann (1867 1937), Austrian mezzo-soprano,
held appointments that closely followed the stations of Mahlers career; she sang in Prague, Budapest,
and Vienna. Arabella Szilagyi (1861 1918), a Hungarian soprano who joined the Budapest Opera in
1886, became a noted prima donna under Mahlers tutelage, most famously singing the role of
Brunnhilde in the Hungarian language premiere of Wagners Walkure under Mahler in 1889. Mahler
served as the director of the Royal Hungarian Opera from October 1888 to March 1891.
31. Evidently Natalie is mistaken about Mahlers presence at Jenny Felds wedding: in correspondence with Justine in late August and the beginning of September 1891, he refers to a letter Justi was
supposed to give to Jenny before her marriage, Otherwise there would have been absolutely no sign of
life from me at the time of her wedding. See McClatchie, The Mahler Family Letters and Briefe an die
Familie, nos. 188 and 189.
32. Geza Zichy (18491924) was a composer and pianist whose appointment as administrator at the
Royal Hungarian Opera in January 1891 resulted in Mahlers resignation.
33. Mahler served at the Stadt-Theater in Hamburg from March 1891 to April 1897.
34. Josephine Spiegler Braun (1863?) was Albert Spieglers sister and the first wife of the editor and
later leader of the Social Democrats, Heinrich Braun (18541927).
35. Mahler spent the summer of 1892 in Berchtesgaden (southern Bavaria); Seis (Siusi) is located in
South Tyrol between Brixen and Bolzano.
36. The cholera epidemic of 1892 in Hamburg was the last major outbreak of the disease in
Germany. Starting in mid-August, it killed over eight thousand people over the course of about two
months.
37. NBL2, 23 24; not in NBLE.
38. The term Wahlverwandschaften is a direct reference to the novel of the same name by Goethe
(1809), which traces the ill-fated story of two pairs of lovers.
39. Goethe, Selige Sehnsucht: In der Liebesnachte Kuhlung, / Die dich zeugte, wo du zeugtest, /
Ueberfallt die fremde Fuhlung / Wenn die stille Kerze leuchtet. (In the coolness of nights of love, /
Which begat you where you begat, / The strange feeling overcomes you / When the still candle glows.)
40. Natalies language seems to reflect that of Tristan und Isolde near the end of act 2, scene 2: Nicht
mehr Tristan, nicht Isolde, ohne Nennen, ohne Trennen, neu Erkennen, neu Entbrennen (No more
Tristan, no Isolde, without stating, without separating, newly recognized, newly inflamed).
41. Faust, Part II, act 5, line 11577, shortly before Faust dies: Und so verbringt, umrungen von
Gefahr, / Hier Kindheit, Mann und Greis sein tuchtig Jahr. (Surrounded by such danger, each one
thrives, / Childhood, manhood, and age lead active lives.) Faust, Part One and Sections from Part Two:
The Original German and a New Translation and Introduction by Walter Kaufmann (New York: Anchor
Books, 1990), 469.
30. Jenny Feld (1866d. after 1921) was born in Hungary and raised in Vienna, where she received
musical instruction from Mahler while he was a student at the Conservatory; she later married an
American by the name of Perrin and came into possession of the 1893 autograph score of Mahlers
First Symphony, now located in the Osborn Collection of the Beinecke Library, Yale University.
42. Quotation untraced.

43. Goethe, Elegie, in his poetic tryptich Trilogie der Leidenschaft: Der Abendku, ein treu verbindlich Siegel: / So wird es auch der nachsten Sonne bleiben. (The evening kiss, a truly binding seal: /
Such will it also remain at next sunlights glow.).
44. It appears Natalie has forgotten or conflated certain details of Mahlers reaction to the cholera
epidemic. He first heard of it not in Berlin but in Munich, where he had arrived from England by 25
August. On the 27th, he went as far as Berlin; because reports from Hamburg were not encouraging, he
left for Berchtesgaden on the night of the 29th. The Hamburg Opera was scheduled to reopen on 15
September; Justine and Natalie accompanied Mahler as far as Munich, but not until the 20th did he
finally proceed again to Berlin, and thence to Hamburg. See McClatchie, The Mahler Family Letters
and Briefe an die Familie, nos. 254 58.
46. Emma Mahler (18751933) was the youngest surviving sister of Gustav; she later married the
cellist Ernst Rose, brother of Arnold Rose, Mahlers concertmaster in Vienna and husband of her sister
Justine.
47. At the age of twenty-nine, Mahler was the oldest member of the family and was responsible for
his four surviving siblings: Justine, Emma, Alois, and Otto.
48. See also NBL2, 50, 80, and 81; NBLE, 54, 81, and 83. Bruno Walter also writes of Mahlers constantly changing moods and observes that although he loved humanity, he often forgot man: I was in
the habit of calling his relationship to friends one of intermittent loyalty, for he was apt to spend considerable periods in total physical and spiritual separation from them. See Walter, Gustav Mahler,
trans. James Galston (New York: Greystone Press, 1941), 12832; quote at 144.
49. In Sweet Rejoicing is also the title of a traditional German macaronic Christmas carol dating
from the fourteenth century.
50. Siegfrid Lipiner, Bruno Walter, Nina Spiegler: see n. 54.
51. The English poet Lord Byron (1788 1824) was said to have had an incestuous relationship with
his half sister Augusta Maria Leigh (17831851), even supposedly fathering one of her children.
52. Interestingly, the phrase ihr silbern Lachen appears in the third of the Lieder eines fahrenden
Gesellen, though there it is a sound that pains the protagonist.
53. Secretly festering strife: Goethe, Faust, Part II, act 3, scene l, line 8829, in which Helena
addresses the arguing Phorkyas and choristers: Nicht zurnend, aber trauernd schreit ich zwischen
euch, / Verbietend solches Wechselstreites Ungestum! / Denn Schadlicheres begegnet nichts dem
Herrscherherrn, / Als treuer Diener heimlich unterschworner Zwist. (I step between you, not in anger
but in sorrow, / Forbidding this hostile exchange of turbulence! / For a ruler meets with nothing more
pernicious / Than the secretly festering strife of ostensibly loyal servants). Hermann Steuding, in an
annotation to his edition of Faust (Leipzig: G. Freytag, 1900), 258, explains the phrase thus:
Verborgene Feindschaft, die gleich einem tiefliegenden Geschwur unbemerkt, aber desto zerstorender
weiter wirkt. (Concealed enmity that, like a deep-lying abscess, goes unnoticed but therefore goes on
festering all the more destructively.)
54. Siegfrid Lipiner (1856 1911), a gifted writer who was employed as librarian of the Imperial
Council at the Austrian Parliament Building, was one of Mahlers closest friends from his early years in
45. Alma Mahler also draws attention to Justines pathological jealousy: A sisters jealousy seems to
be more dangerous than a mistresss or a wifes because it is without hope. Alma Mahler, Gustav
Mahler: Memories and Letters, trans. Basil Creighton, ed. Donald Mitchell and Knud Martner, 4th ed.
(London: Sphere, 1994), 5556.
Vienna until his marriage to Alma. Lipiners first wife, Nina Hoffmann, later (10 August 1891)
married Albert Spiegler; a few weeks earlier (12 July 1891) Lipiner had married Clementine Spiegler,
Alberts sister. According to the memoirs of Emma Adler (wife of the Socialist leader Victor Adler),
Natalie divorced her husband in 1883 because of her passionate love for Lipiner; see La Grange,
Mahler: Chronique dune vie, 1:32728. The dating of Bauer-Lechners divorce in 1883 also appears in
Stammbuch des Buchhandlers Michael Lechner [n.p., n.d.], a copy of which is located at the Mediathe`que
Musicale Mahler, Paris.
And next summer I am going to build you a Hauschen, too, here amidst the most foresaken
thicket, so that you can play the fiddle to your hearts content without anyone hearing you, and
so that you do not always have to hole yourself up now here, now there.
Although determined to resist such extravant plans, for the time being I let them stand since at
this moment they filled Gustav with joy.
[U. nachsten Sommer bau ich Dir auch noch ein Hauschen, hier mitten ins verlorenste
Gestrupp, da Du nach Herzenslust geigen kannst, ohne da Dich jemand hort & Du nicht
immer bald da, bald dort Dich verkriechen mut.
Solche ausschweifende Planeentschloen sie zu wehrenlie ich inde auch sich beruhen da
sie Gustav Freude in diesem Augenblick voll machten.]
Mahler and Natalie then retired to his room, where the events she describes in the letter to Riehl
took place. Just after they parted for the remainder of the night, they heard a drunken man drowning in
the lake; Mahler and the other guests managed to save him.
Within the next day or so, Justi, accompanied by Arnold Rose, Dr. Boer, the physician of the opera, and
her childhood friend Albine Adler traveled to Heiligenblut for a cure prescribed following an operation
she had undergone the previous year (see HLG 2:364, based on Bauer-Lechners Mahleriana, vol. 33,
p. 15). Thus Mahler and Natalie had a number of days alone in Maiernigg, probably at least ten, perhaps
more. See Mahlers letters to Justine of early August in McClatchie, The Mahler Family Letters and Briefe
an die Familie, nos. 487 88.
55. Most of this passage is included in NBL2, 191 92 (30 July 1901; not in NBLE), and it has been
summarized in La Grange, Gustav Mahler, vol. 2: Vienna: The Years of Challenge (1897-1904) (Oxford:
Oxford University Press, 1995; hereinafter HLG 2:361); the manuscript of the Mahleriana contains
additional details cited here. Mahler, Natalie, and Arnold Rose had been enjoying an evening of
chamber music in Mahlers quarters on the top floor of the Maiernigg villa. According to the manuscript account (vol. 33, p. 5), And he [Mahler] praised me because I could so splendidly hold my own
with Roses masterful playing, and to my great joy, lauded the progress that I had again made. (Und
mich lobte er, da ich Roses meisterhaftem Spiel so famos standhalten konnte und ruhmte, mir zur
groen Freude, die Fortschritte, die ich wieder gemacht.)
After they finished playing, Natalie recounts, Excited by the music and infected by the glorious
moonlit night, Mahler and I went walking on the shore while the others went to bed. . . . Mahler was
cheerful and relaxed in spirit, as he had not been in a long time. You see it confirmed here once again:
what one wishes for in youth, one fully attains in maturity. Did you ever think that we should call such
a heavenly place our own? (NBL2, 191). In the copyists manuscript version of this passage (vol. 33,
p. 7 verso), Natalie at some point added Mahlers subsequent remarks:
56. Exactly what transpired is not known, but it is evident from Mahlers letters to Justine of [3]
September 1901 and following that she told Mahler she feared Natalie would drive her away from him,
and that apparently Mahler brought an end to his sexual intimacy with Natalie by about 10
September. See McClatchie, The Mahler Family Letters and Briefe an die Familie, nos. 494505.
57. Adele Marcus (18541927) was a widow living in Hamburg; she and her daughter, Toni Marcus
(18761942), became good friends with Mahler during his time there.
58. Anna von Mildenburg (1872 1947) was an Austrian Wagnerian soprano who became one of the
leading singers of her age. She made her debut in 1895 under Mahlers tutelage in Hamburg and later
(1898) joined the Court Opera in Vienna.
59. Bernhard Pollini (1838 1897), ne Baruch Pohl, was the director of the Hamburg Municipal
Theater from 1874 to 1897.
61. For a listing of Annas published letters and recollections (by 1917), see Gustav Mahler, Mein
lieber Trotzkopf, meine sue Mohnblume: Briefe an Anna von Mildenburg, ed. Franz Willnauer (Vienna:
Zsolnay, 2006), 499 501.
62. Den Teufel durch Beelzebub austreiben is a German saying taken from Matthew 12:24 that
implies replacing one evil with another that is even worse.
63. The frequently passionate tone of Mahlers over 130 letters and cards to Mildenburg during his
Hamburg years makes her assertion of virginity seem highly unlikely; see Mahler, Mein lieber
Trotzkopf, meine sue Mohnblume: Briefe an Anna von Mildenburg, ed. Franz Willnauer.
64. Bruno Walter (18761962), ne Schlesinger, was a pianist, composer, conductor, and Mahlers
assistant both at the opera in Hamburg (189496) and later in Vienna (starting in 1901).
65. Mahler was initially appointed Kapellmeister at the Vienna Court Opera in April 1897; he
assumed the position of director in October of the same year and retained it until his resignation in 1907.
66. Marie Renard (?18641939), nee Marie Polzl, was an Austrian mezzo who made her career in
Prague and Berlin before coming to the Vienna Court Opera in 1888; she retired in 1900.
67. Djamileh, a comic opera by Georges Bizet ( premiered in 1872); Giacomo Puccini and Ruggero
Leoncavallo each wrote an opera titled La Bohe`me (first performed in 1896 and 1897, respectively).
Mahler premiered these works at the Hofoper in January 1898, November 1903, and February 1898,
respectively; Renard appeared in two of these productions, but not in Puccinis La Bohe`me, where Mimi
was sung by Selma Kurz and Musetta by Marie Gutheil-Schoder.
68. Count Rudolf Kinsky (1856 1921) divorced his first wife in 1901 to marry Marie Renard the
same year.
69. Margarethe (Rita) Michalek (1875 1944) was an Austrian singer who trained at the Vienna
Conservatory and debuted at the Vienna Court Opera in 1897. According to her own account, she was
engaged by the previous director, Wilhelm Jahn (18351900), but assumed her position after Mahlers
arrival. See Paul Wilhelm, Mahler-Erinnerungen: Gesprach mit Rita Michalek, Neues Wiener
Journal, no. 8199 (27 August 1916): 8.
70. Among Michaleks many roles were: Jutta in Dalibor (Smetana); Olga in Eugene Onegin
(Tchaikovsky); Siebel in Margarethe [Faust] (Gounod); a Rhine maiden in Das Rheingold (Wagner);
nnchen in Der Freischutz (Weber); Floretta in
Margarete and Jenny in La Dame blanche (Boieldieu); A
Donna Diana (Rezcinek); Grilletta in Der Apotheker (Haydn); Luise in Der Barenhauter (Siegfried Wagner);
Zerline in Fra Diavolo (Auber); Micaela in Carmen (Bizet); the Messenger of Peace in Rienzi (Wagner);
60. NBL2, esp. 167, but also 122, 123, and 18081; NBLE, 157 and 16364, remaining passages lacking.
nnchen in Falstaff [Kalbecks German translation] (Verdi); Diemut in Feuersnot (Strauss); Rosa in Lakme
A
(Delibes); and Barbarina in Figaro (Mozart). Michalek left the Court Opera in August 1910.
71. Michalek sang Das himmlische Leben as the finale of Mahlers Fourth Symphony at its world premiere in Munich on 25 November 1901. During the next few days she performed it on tour with the
Kaim Orchestra under Weinbergers direction, in Nuremburg, Darmstadt, Frankfurt a/M, Karlsruhe,
and Stuttgart (see HLG2:4048).
72. Sophie Sedlmair (?1857 1939), a German singer known for her dark soprano timbre, performed
in houses throughout Europe and sang at the Vienna Hofoper from about 1896 to 1906.
73. Pythia was the oracle of Delphi in Ancient Greece who, in a trance-like state caused by gases
rising out of a crevice, was said to divine and speak the words of Apollo.
75. Selma Kurz (18741933) was born in Austrian Silesia; she made her professional debut in
Frankfurt, came to the Vienna Court Opera in 1899, and in 1910 married the doctor Josef von Halban
(18701937).
76. Bauer-Lechner directly contradicts herself in NBL2, 146 (not in NBLE): Die Kurz war ein
entzuckendes Evchen an Stimme und Erscheinung (Kurz was delightful as Evchen, both in voice and
appearance).
77. On a program that included works by Schumann and Berlioz, Selma Kurz sang five orchestral
songs by Mahler at the Fifth Philharmonic concert on 14 January 1900; see NBL2, 152 (not in NBLE).
The handbill for the concert is reproduced in Knud Martner, Mahlers Concerts (New York: Kaplan
Foundation/Overlook Press, 2010), no. 121 on 145 46.
78. Resurrection (1899), a novella by Leo Tolstoy (18281910), tells the story of a nobleman whose
sexual escapade with a maid leads to the womans downfall, a fate he then tries to reverse only to discover the true depth of social injustice. See also NBL2, 153 (5 May 1900); not in NBLE.
79. There is no mention of this trip in NBL1 or NBL2, but Natalie describes it at some length in the
unpublished portion of her diaries; for a summary, see HLG2, 24346. The journey is also discussed in
Desi Halban and Ursula Ebbers, eds., Selma Kurz: Die Sangerin und ihre Zeit (Stuttgart: Belser, 1983),
88. Halban, Selma Kurzs daughter, reproduces Mahlers letters to her mother; from these, it emerges
that Natalies chronology of the Mahler Kurz affair in her letter to Hans Riehl is somewhat inaccurate.
Evidently their liaison first blossomed during the Venetian trip that began on 7 April 1900; by 5 May,
Kurz was feeling serious misgivings about what she considered to be Mahlers moody and complex
nature, and also about the malicious gossip their affair had generated. They continued to see each
other through late May, but at the end of the opera season on 31 May Selma immediately left for
Marienbad, and in a letter to Selma written shortly after Mahler arrived in Maiernigg for the summer
(23 June) it is apparent that his passion had cooled considerably. Midway through the next opera
season Kurz asked for the cancellation of her contract, which Mahler refused; however, he did grant her
a leave of absence from the end of January until the beginning of March, which she spent in Paris.
80. In all likelihood, Baron Nathaniel Mayer Anselm Rothschild (1836 1905).
81. Bluebeard is a character from a French folktale about a nobleman who murders his wives as he
marries them, one after another. The story famously became the plot of the opera Barbe Bleue or
Blaubart by Jacques Offenbach, and later of Bluebeards Castle by Bela Bartok.
74. Both Anna Bahr-Mildenburg in her Erinnerungen (Vienna: Wiener Literarische Anstalt, 1921),
29, and Ernst Decsey in Stunden mit Mahler, Die Musik 10, no. 21 (1911): 150, mention Mahlers
habit of leading his singers with his lips, by mouthing their words as they sang or even speaking them
in advance.
82. Dr. B . . . was almost certainly Dr. Ludwig Boer, the Operas physician, who is mentioned several
times in the Mahler family correspondence.
83. Katharina Abel (18561904) was a dancer at the Vienna Hofoper who joined the company ca.
1880.
84. Marie Gutheil-Schoder (1874 1935) was a German soprano active at the Weimar Opera until
Mahler invited her to the Vienna Court Opera in 1900, where she became a celebrated singer.
85. The love of Jupiter could be a reference to the episodes in Ovids Metamorphoses (Io, Leda,
Europa, etc.), where the higher god stands in contrast to the openly salacious cavorting of satyrs, who
are half human and half animal.
87. Nina (Anna) Hoffmann-Matscheko (1844 1914) was a literary figure with a special interest in
Dostoyevsky; she was married to the painter Joseph Hoffmann (1831 1904).
88. Nina Nanna Spiegler, nee Hoffmann (18551937), was a painter and stage designer; she was
the first wife of Siegfried Lipiner and the second wife of Albert Spiegler.
89. Mahler had two brothers who survived childhood: Alois Mahler (1867 1931), who failed to get
a start on life after leaving the military and eventually emigrated to the United States, and Otto
Mahler (187395), who had studied at the Vienna Conservatory. Otto fatally shot himself in Nina
Hoffmanns apartment in 1895.
90. Kapellmeisterstil meant playing the essence of the music without worrying about all of the
notes, as Kapellmeisters were wont to do in rehearsal. For an account of Mahlers rehearsing in this
manner, see Anna Bahr-Mildenburg, Erinnerungen, 17 18.
91. Albert Spiegler (18561940) was a trained medical doctor; he and his sisters and wives were
among Mahlers closest friends.
92. Clementine Spiegler (1864 1926), Albert Spieglers sister, married Siegfried Lipiner (his second
marriage).
93. Henriette Mankiewicz (18531906) was an artist especially known for her large-scale panels
employing embroidery and applications on silk; so successful was her display at the Paris Exhibition of
1889 that she was awarded the Chevalier of the Legion of Honor.
94. Mankiewicz is mentioned only in passing in the published versions of the Recollections (NBL2,
178 and 203; NBLE, 184), but she is discussed further in the unpublished materials.
95. It seems hardly plausible that Mahlers decision in 1907 to accept a conducting position at the
Metropolitan Opera in New York was the result of Almas manipulations to distance Gustav from his
friends, although she did exclude many of them from Mahlers social circle after they were married.
96. Bauer-Lechners Fragmente: Gelerntes und Gelebtes (Vienna: Rudolf Lechner, 1907) is a book that
reflects on a wide range of topics, ranging from art to hygiene.
97. Richard Specht (18701932) was an Austrian musicologist and Mahler enthusiast. With
Mahlers approval, Specht published the first biography of him in 1905 (Berlin: Gose & Tetzlaff ); and
Spechts lengthy monograph Gustav Mahler (Berlin: Schuster & Loeffler, 1913 and later eds.) was one
of the first comprehensive books about the composer.
86. Alma Schindler (18791964) was the daughter of the landscape painter Emil Jacob Schindler
and the step-daughter of the Secessionist painter Carl Moll. She became the muse of an entire generation of artists at the turn of the century and married Mahler in 1902.

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The Musical Quarterly Advance Access published June 24, 2014

Natalie Bauer-Lechner on Mahler and

It is only a seeming contradiction that my entire earlier life vanished from

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Truly intimate portraits of composers are as invaluable as they are rare.

Page 2 of 54 The Musical Quarterly

Today I have to write to Natalie Bauer, there is quite a commotion in the

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Despite the impossibility of such Olympian objectivity (which she

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Figure 1. Page 1 of Natalie Bauer-Lechners letter to Hans Riehl. Osterreichische

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In the event, Bauer-Lechner respected their reservations and published

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(and Mahlers) generally liberal and progressive sociopolitical orientation,

Natalie Bauer-Lechner on Mahler and Women Page 5 of 54

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Bauer-Lechner, Mahler was gripped by a deeply rooted asceticism that

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But I certainly confess to you that Natalies coming is absolutely abhorrent

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The level of detail (which can often be corroborated by other

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I go walking diligently. . . . Alone and with Natalie. . . . That people

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Natalie Bauer-Lechner on Mahler and Women Page 9 of 54

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9. Recent acquisition of the Music Collection of the Austrian National Library,

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,,Ging heut Morgen ubers Feld,

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hend Meer in meiner

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Went out this morning over the field

that flowed from his blessed lips.*,8

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hend Messer in meiner Brust [I have a

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Siehe meine Mahlererinnerungen Bnd. 29.

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rdig-ernste, hochkultivierte & ungemein

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hlens, das ja stets nur den Liebenden allein

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Page 18 of 54 The Musical Quarterly

rchte, da diese, gewi ergreifendsten, Dokumente einer bedeutenden, liebendsten

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