Selected works,

Reflections, Poems,
Writings, Theories and
Ideas Over an 8 Year
Period
By
Madison Bernard

A Short Introduction
This is a collection off assorted works that I have made over the last 8 years. What I wrote
throughout this collection is not necessarily how I feel today. There is still a lot of material that I have not
incorporated because it has been lost or become inaccessible at this present moment. This should be seen
almost as a first draft in a sense in that is not a complete work, and will be updated at a future time. I have
spent a days worth of time analyzing and dissecting my various writings and decided which ones would be
incorporated and which were not. It is being posted as is, meaning I have done very little editing and simply
copy and pasted my works into this piece, forgive me for any grammatical errors. This charts my life, my
thoughts, creative works and it's evolution. Some of it may seem redundant and some of it may be
contradictory to other works in this. Understand that it is 99% chronological, starting from 2008 until present
day Jan. 8th 2017. Also be aware that there MAY be a few works that are not mine, or regurgitated
something that I had learned rewritten in similar words. There have been times I have copied and pasted
others work in my own reflections that sounded correct to me but was too lazy to quote the person or forgot
to. I have sifted and google referenced the vast majority of what I have incorporated so that I do run the risk
of plagiarizing, I felt like I should mention that as a fair warning. And with that, onward.

Ordinary people seem not to realize that those who really apply themselves in the right way to
philosophy are directly and of their own accord preparing themselves for dying and death. If this is
true, and they have actually been looking forward to death all their lives, it would of course be
absurd to be troubled when the thing comes for which they have so long been preparing and
looking forward.
SOCRATES, PHAEDO

A tomb, like the womb, a bed, nothing said. Ritual, destruction, spiral descent, make you whole, rebuild,
reawaken, rebirth, spiral ascent, higher realm, open your eyes, open your eyes, open your eyes little one.
Centeredness is to be a wise man who can stand, closed-eyed, silently under a tree and catch in faster
than a moment, a leaf between his fingers.
Im a soldier waiting on shore as the moonlight pierces the fragile silence my ears have long-awaited for.
Three men roll post, Four hold the rear. We carry the dead bodies, desensitized, no tears. Pawns on the
chessboard, as the ones they call the bishops hide by their masters.

A man will walk up to you who knew you your whole life, stunned you demand his name, as he speaks you
feel your mouth move.
Go and talk to Handor of the East, go the summit and pray to the Southern Wind. Upon your return you
shall see 3 golden chalices awaiting each symbolizing one path of divinity to follow. As you pick one seek
the shaman who presides over your fate, he will teach you, and show you the truth behind the veil.

Connecting to the mainframe, sentient beings collecting the thoughts, emotions & dream of human entities
to sell over Universal Seas. Astral Journeying into a tomb of melancholic humanoids that precede to make
love to your every orifice, divine ecstasy of a celestial orgy.
My intent is to free both my self & others from the constraints of limited ideology. A spiraling tunnel of
contradictions exposes the truth within the chaos and shows us death is just like waking up.

Lines & lines, row by row. We each tattoo our numbers. In honor of the great, Scanner in the Sky.

The current modern social paradigms are at a great loss of perceiving the subtle beauties of our reality. We
honor the destructive vision of anything less than perfection, sacrificing our inner peace to illusiory
perceptions of the inadequacies of the self.
Walking around the great wall, bewildered at the machines immensity. A band of rebels huddle alongside
and scribble their mark, tonights the night they said, for fire, freedom & the end to the foreign legion,
tonight we take Berlin.
Realm of the souls come calling from within, the dead in anguish over their sins. Gatekeepers & Soul
Reapers roam disguised as you and I, teaching you the importance regarding the moment you die.

In the summer of 68 AD in the last echoing time, of the last age there was a brilliant ancient sage.
Embarked in the trips you wish to see in the voyage of the mind, leaving all sense of reality behind. He saw
the ancient relic of truth, yet didnt know what to do.

Like a hawk I watch the street block, as the young starve in the streets. Poets starving, dark alleyways of
forgotten memories. Nightmares, a refuge from despair as the wise owl sits silently and stares.
You see, you are stuck in this Chinese finger trap. Pull away and you only make the grip stronger. But
when good little brothers & sisters bring themselves together they are freed, and the trap slips right off.

Safety & racey dont mix thats why we're confused kids getting kicks from social critics practicing free
politics.
The illness is not the villainous, it's the fazed out clarity of the lower class disparity met with the twin flame
of the uppers ever growing prosperity. Spelling the name of the game on the torn sides of Berlin as the
musician tries to send that message through the violin.
We enslave animals yet say free them from the zoo. We destroy living, breathing and conscious trees only
to throw them away by the thousands of pounds a day. We grieve for the poor than we buy ourselves a
wardrobe.
Everyday is a perpetual connection to the immense wonder & mystery of creation. When i sit on the toilet
I'm lost in in the abyss, when I turn my head I notice a mans spirit animal. When I close my eyes I worry of
death, when I wake in the morning I wonder is it death.
The thief & the bandit slide amongst the shadows, enveloped in the bleak darkness. Pickpockets from rum
to wallets, perfected craft of the outcast.
The word is just a symbolic abstraction tied to a mental projection of what is discussed. The experience &
feeling reveal truth, transcending is knowing that the understanding is beyond language, divulged freely
within intimate love.
Im like a snake-chameleon, I wander with silent purpose condescending my intelligence to understand the
unique perception of the individual in question.
They say dont live in fear, yet tell you all the time to wash your hands.
So confused, the outward me is not who I truly ought to be. If only you could see the intensely stifled agony,
sitting beside the tree I cry for the reconciliation of my family.
The sun is far more than you can imagine. It brings you light each day to steer your way, it is what brings us
joy, warmth, experience, life. It watches you with its piercing eye, your every move whether cloudy or clear.
Theirs a reason why they worshiped the sun, and if I tried to really explain why, the inevitable is those will
cry radical.
We are always time traveling. Say for instance that all time & space exist at the same time. We attract
different parallels of our world depending on what we want to attract. Instead of going on a "time track" with
today & tomorrow, you are constantly navigating the waters of time by attracting other universes of "timespace scenes" much like a dream world will morph right before your eyes and its a different scene.
I've lived twice around the bend searching for a blacksmith who can take a heart and mend. Perpetually
twisting body and a shifter of the eyes from the moment I awaken till my earthly vehicle putters out and
dies.
In the mandala of time, The mudra will open. When the lamb of choosing, Has spoken.

A man is freed another walks in a circle, one calls the curtain red and another purple. A man is freed
another walks in a circle, one calls the curtain red and another purple.

Follow me to the underworld of the indescribably sordid, destroying the sheltered mind of self defense. Life
is just, you can rent a baby for $2 in Indonesia to go around begging with, Life is fair, go talk to half of
china, We are all unique, find your twin that is walking around right now out there, somewhere.
Life is so beautiful and mysterious and the very fact that I'm somehow alive with it is a timeless wonder of
unimaginable scope.
I woke, in a sweat mulling over memories and forgotten relics of perceived inconsequentialness.
Poet of the street lights fancy, enveloped in the slow churning of syntactic monologue.
Strolling through cafes of struggling artists. Always moving, the antithesis of catharsis. Inspiration flows as
we open ourselves to alternate worlds. Mental Television, collectively shifting channels.
When night turns to day the seed awakens the potential life within and through its pain & suffering at trying
to crack the dirt, appreciates the brilliant gleaming nutrient giving essence of the sun.
Cynicism is a bitch that keeps filling up my message machine and is threatening to throw me in jail unless i
pay for little jaded Jrs thought support.
Learn the truth to feed your head and not the kind from a textbook. Know there is no reason other than the
reason to be just like your eyes have no other reason than to just see
Nothing matters if there is no love. Its just impersonal vague-alien like interactions that are stilted with
forced motivation at best, I have met a few at different points in life, even myself.

Let go of a world so inviting to be a foolish and follow the path of ascension. There you will meet in
between the realms oft channeled by astral travelers of the various worlds the truth behind life & death and
the breaking from the never ending cycle
Release perceptual fear and claim the freedom you hold so dear. Brilliance awaits across jail yard gates, no
longer a pawn in the tide of predestined fates.
Lord child, i dont know the way and neither does anyone anyway.
mind altering substances of all kinds, keeps this world going on into territories unknown. And for the
alcohol, the ego overblown.
The entire reason of who your friends are, parents, sexual relationships is all a result of how you think, act
& interact. By freeing your mind you free your karmic bonds. When the mind has reached a point where it
ceases to act upon dualistic illusions of opinion it transcends the 2. By doing this there is no bondage and
the soul is freed.
Im like how crack enters your bloodstream, quick & brutal with a feeling so special that youll never forget
me.

Craziest shit happened last night. To all the skeptics, go fuck yourself. I was sleeping and during the inbetween state of sleeping and dreaming, best explained as the light body being awake and the earth body
asleep. A spirit came and started messing with my energy system, huge intense emotions, fast breathing
and energy flux and I was terrified. started with the lower chakras then moved around to my head.
Man why does everything have to keep changing like this? Veil after veil of illusions, seem to break me
down till I cant see anymore. These demons change me, not for the worse.

O lord, god, whatever you are. Im deeply afraid during this dark night of the soul. Im so on edge I cant
sleep, eat or think about anything that isnt you. I have cried at your altar and I have begged, you sent a
dream seemingly foreboding. Youve shown me so many signs in such a short span of time and its almost
the full moon. Save my soul, free me, regenerate me.
We are all just trying to find a way to get out of the pupa.
Once i thought that behind every door, behind every face was what would save me and show me the way
out. At every door i thoughtlessly projected myself to meet the other side only to bring back the emptiness
the moment we parted. And so I only know that the eternal will seek me out, liberate me, if I'm alive then its
not time to throw in the towel yet.
Im all in this whirling thing that keeps spinning and I'm reeling because I'm feelingalive for the very first
time.
Its our common humanness that puts things in perspective and supports along the way. Remember you are
not alone. Its our common humanness that puts things in perspective and supports along the way.
Remember you are not alone.
Whatever you think about you are connecting to and at the exact same time its connecting back to you.
Thoughts are connections not stand alone projections.
You know what really really cuts me deep. That you can never really "know" someone, some people say
thats a boon but sometimes the realities can be so distressingly distant & inwardly isolated that you wish
you could merge your islands
Its a fundamental question of ethics will you walk the same old beaten trail of fear filled lives failed? Or do
you stand tall as you climb the seven story mountain and finally reach the divine fountain?
Is their divine free will or are we just in one of gods plays? Do you listen to the serpent or the owl? Is their
any right & wrong, anything foul? Is there a space of mind where it no longer matters, perhaps a way to exit
the dream, the matrix, the womb of shakti?
I'll never forget that day when the sun christened the horizon as the mushroom trip started rising. All around
there were eyes between every branch, life in everything and a girl with a luminescent white aura. As i
looked back I saw atomic explosions of cyan and purple raining on the sun and everything my life knew
slowly transformed into a new world.
Tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc. The clock keeps going, but you've gone nowhere your
entire life. Tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc tic toc, tic toc, tic toc.
The level of connection depends on the intensity of your thoughts. If you think about a friend you really
miss strongly or to some degree of intensity they will think of u 2. Projection of energy, how much you focus
into something.

Be my yang to my yin and lets commit adulterous sins. Red light district at the first minutes past midnight
buzzed and feeling right.
Did u ever just want to turn back the clock. Take back what u did, what u said, what u felt, did u ever
wonder just where u would've been if u just been a little more wise. Did you ever want to change the way
you think nearly completely because your own mind couldnt let go? Oh the mirth, woe is me, the whole sob
story.
Its like I have had a conversation with myself my whole life and as soon as I left I forgot who I was.
Synchronicity works like this. Ones current circumstance is based on the choices made prior and what
choice is being chosen is based on freewill right now. Depending on your freewill choices now creates
predetermined parts of the future where an event, person with the same karma will synchronize and meet
you. Its like a spreading tree that continuously grows more twigs till they touch and merge and continue
spreading
Live your life, let your soul breathe and let the water flow of time synch your life up like the words to a
rhyme.
We forge bonds along the road, we share our wisdom and the lessons within the winds of time, then we
part again. Continuing upon the path we feel each moment forgetting absence of mind which had kept us
blind. We settle down and break out a peace pipe for we must rest, here at the summit.
It seems I'm connected to all those who are connected with me, my thoughts seem to be a culmination of
alternate experiences.
We are all shamans-in-training, we all seek to transcend our own bondage and seek to transcend the
demons which plague us, and not just transcend but to master.
Sun gives rise to the moon as the penis gives rise to a vaginal swoon. Ecstatic orgasmic trance of the
unrestricted taboo is feeling what the true power of freedom can do.
Think not ill of those who have wronged you for they will pass like the rolling of a wind. Do not think its all in
your mind because all is mind. Until you realize the self is the illusion you'll continue to grab on to anything
that will say otherwise.
Seas of infinite potentialities come to greet me each evening. And the only way to shut their chattering &
bickering is to sing, then they begin to dance & cheer and relieve me of their utter foreign fear.
Tired, stained memories of my past, mind wrapped up in the ineffable mystery and completely blind. I walk
stilted, bent on my crutch looking for the piper who will lead us to freedom and clutching i see only the face
of myself staring back and I turn my head.
The serpent began showing me With rhythmic philosophy How the world i knew came to be. From the
primordial reality Of dormant infancy. The chaos bubbled, Seas of possibilities Gave us our unique
qualities. In the mandala of time, The mudra will open. When the lamb of choosing, Has spoken.
I am the chameleon transforming and shape-shifting with the winds of change.
Life is like a merry go round, the crowd around you keeps changing but the ride is exactly the same.
Twas the moment I wished, a silent but deadly kiss. The madness of a lit lamppost moment, lost in timeless
twilight. A serenely perfect mood in the lights of the city.

Life can be full of understanding & peace at certain times and in an hour it can a manic depressive mess of
hopelessness.
Pain comes in all forms and often we try to rationalize it away based on "theres others worse off". Some
bottle it up and some release it in all different ways but one thing you know is that you'll never escape it.
Maybe a pinprick and maybe a Vietnamese torture room, either a lingering catharsis or overcoming, there's
a battle for someone somewhere
Seek out the truth and dont fall into a societal matrix of distraction. Find your own reality, your own journey
and make every life decision in your hands. True judgment, true inner self constructed by freewill. Your
society is itself a mainframe of brainwashing techniques & subjected subliminal control.
I am Jack the Ripper Bring me your innocence for I am Jack, of all the trades. Walk my streets & give me
what I seek. Black Market organ distribution, And surgical doctors Retribution.
We often speak to each other in order to prove rather than to allow another to understand. And when we
talk we often just wait for our turn to speak.
We were given sight, In a place with no light. He said here are your tools, Commonly misused by fools. So
off we were, Creating and destroying. With nothing but endless firsts & lasts, ends & beginnings.
I just was watching this show scrubs where they were talking about death. They were trying to help a man
die and they recounted how they both werent afraid of death because people recount in near dying
experiences reaching a blinding white light and a feeling of peace. My heart Just erupted and i started
crying profusely, you know the truth when your heart really wakes up.
I got mental manna rays and deathly mortal decay in a never ending show of the insane human foray.
Come with me & you will see, strange realities that defy the average commonality. Listen to my slow
moving words, slithering like a serpent minded guru of the esoteric & unknown.
Pushing it, every ounce of mind is focused on the intent and subtle movement of the universe. Bend it, the
fabric of time & space with just a change of mood or thought in your mind. Unearth it, the true power of the
human being that was lost ages ago, what it means to have a Mystic Crystal Revelation.
Smooth jazz lines and a simmering summer night, ablaze with the little flames of desire sparks a symphony
of dancing hearts.
OOooo how the days pass and still seem the same, how lifes truths will dampen the flame. Oh how my
wild days have become so tame and how i wish one day in the world i will make my name.
What is this but my own reflection, standing right in front of me. What is this world but my own
misconceptions, through all the illusions of truth. What is my world & life but a thin veil, opposed yet linked
to the transcendent land of the hot dream.
Identity is an illusion because we are always transforming ourselves. I can be the friend, lover, hater,
painter, musician, philosopher, spiritualist, business man, and any other archetype u can think of at any
moment.
I hate how people are renowned for putting each other down hindering all human evolution, and boosting
all false senses of the ego keeping many from expressing their true selves in a world truly designed for this.

The forest speaks with me speaking of ancient history & tales carried by ear across the winds. The sun
dances between the branches as the moon will soon come out to play. Autumn comes and mortal decay
befalls the children with Gaia promising their return again in the spring.
Try to imagine that the heart is both the gateway and key to truth. Now try to imagine that everything
around you is constant, living breathing love. And when you close your heart you close your connection to
that love and thus the world is a depressing meaningless place. But when that sparks comes back and the
reunion is made its like life is born all over again in your soul.
I tried to find real love, god only knows i have seen loneliness, the sheer emptiness.
The essence of the fire dances in the twilight forest of the ancient elven tribe. Tonight we feast upon the
moons behalf and drink ourselves into a deserved stupor. The high priestess takes the helm as we make
our offerings to Marikesh, an ancient spirit of the highest tribal order.
It is like a flower in the sky, it is like my lover when she sleeps with me at night. It is like water that rushes
down a waterfall, It isnt at all like this really, at all.
Listen, dont take things for granted and do what you know in your heart is right. Dont ignore the signs
along the way and make every choice you make a real one. Dont be cynical or jaded because you are just
wasting your time, life's too precious to lose when you realize death is real.
Your mind is runs off vibrations and brainwave patterns. Stimulus creates your brainwaves to scatter and
focus attention on multiple activities at once thus disconnecting you from the whole of creation to a sliver of
whats present. When you still your mind into silence, you will connect to the waves around you, those
waves are interconnected with others until eventually your body mind & soul merge with all that is.
I miss the days of learning, the world was a conquest. I miss the days of rapid discovery. I miss the days of
ignorance.
Time is spacial experience, try not to view it as one giant thing. When you experience a 4 hour work day
but you hate it, it feels like 6 hours and to another who likes it, only 3. To each person they experience 6
hours and 3 respectively. This is possible by time being spaced areas, each person is a container of time
that moves at different rates and interlocks with others.
Patient, breathing slow, descending deeper, hollow & broken. As I spiral down even further the rabbit hole
grows and I'm surrounded by endless perception, only the few know truly about this place, so foreign and
so strange, beyond human conception and beyond human comfort, in the total abyss.
Seeking to expand my vanity? Life isnt always about accomplishing things either....the human
"progressive" curse.
You walk in boxed steel cold room, see a man, he speaks gibberish but you know what he means. Leads
you to a gate, another of you pops in front, tells you not to forget, so you dont.
Trying to find a reason to live, trying to find some form of love to accept & give. Trying to find the passion to
ignite my flame, trying not to obsess over reasons pointing to the worlds blame.
Face me in a moment of overcome cowardice, Face me in your most pitiful and weeping moments. Face
me in the darkest depths all alone, For I am the one you avoided since birth.
3 ideas on reincarnation. 1. Based on the wants, desires and actions that took place during life will
reincarnate you into that being. 2. You have a role change, each human being is a character in the play and
time is nonexistent. So its like changing a mask. 3. You reincarnate based on the things that still bind you to
cyclic existence, renouncing all desires & wants sets you free, merging back to god consciousness.

When the sun aligns with the center of the milky way galaxy a temporary portal will open up in direct
contact with earths energies. The earth is going through a birth process of trans-mutating lower vibrational
consciousness to higher vibrational consciousness. Where the lower form exists to interact with matter the
other higher form seeks to interact with the obscure, abstract and a inevitably advanced state of being
Finding the causation of the one and all, the interconnected beauty of the ecstatic divinely entranced
illumined mind of the effervescently glowing, vibrating and beckoning transcendent other
what is it.......should i care..........who is me.........who are you...........going back to back to the
source............fetal............back in the womb............kicking and screaming...........in so much
pain.............this dark and hollow tube.........through the birth canal................through the confusion and out
the other side................beyond all doubt, fear and the thing we call reality.
The main reason i became a cynic is based on what we consider "normal conversation". Many times its
absolutely agonizing because an intense number of people do not talk beyond material goods, dramas,
routine behaviors, common hate & like drivel, gossip laden rumors & jealousies that i find absolutely trivial
and even more so, distracting.
Towering scavenger of the slain feast of the rapture, the demons drink tonight.
With a media that pummels fear routinely its obvious to see that the medias designing things to instill fear,
worry, doubt so that people are controlled, they fear certain types of people, things, circumstance, events
and places furthering the sense of disconnection. Behind fear is loss/death/unknown. The loss of the
perfect human came with fear.
Audio mental mind-fuck of the visual child
We're watching you, you cannot run, my my isnt this fun? The eyes are all around, fall & slip and we all
see. For we are the all knowing ever present beings of the Universe Waiting for your to be given birth.
Spiral, just keep spiraling, spiral, just keep spiraling along the wind of our own personal & collective
evolution.
So you keep coming back, to this frenzied world Of mindlessness, distraction, making jokes To extract a
reaction, satisfaction. Same routine, same world, same mirrored face, Same food, same cycles, same
style. Often in denial to keep a smile, From the truth that hurts, All is one, One is none.
Every choice, action, intention is projected into a future like a spreading web. This web interconnects with
other parts of the web. So whatever happens to you know that these are the moments when various webs
are connecting and while some stay attached to us and others will connect only for a while, they all stem
from the collective choices we all make.
I feel like a psychedelic relic aged with the wisdom only time can bring. I am the shepherd as well as the
sheep I have sown both types of karma and its both I will reap.
And the woman asked me "Whats your name?" i said "Madison". She goes "Oh Madison is the name of a
sheep who lost his way and had a spiritual experience that changed his life forever". True fucking story.
Insufferable children dancing on the playground of the Aeon. Sun worshiped deities of the ether feast
delight entranced in psychedelic ecstasy of symbiotic plant relationships.
They say time will make a man go crazy, I say that craziness will make you a man in time.
As i walk through the desert with head full of mescaline a path opens up in the sand and leads me to a
cave. The snake awaited at the gate and said this is only for the brave, where any fool can learn the

difference between choice and fate. What you find may make you or break you, where upon Gods test he
may let you rise born again or be forever banished and forsake you
Our sense of "freewill" Is always curbed by not being aware of every possible choice at once.
Always watch out for the demon of perception, generalization.
Beware of denying those closest to you, they are the ones reflecting you the most. Beware of how you treat
a stranger, they may be a blessing in disguise. Mean what you speak so you'll understand your karma
when its reaped.
I dont know where I'm going, who ill meet or those i know who will soon decease. I dont know who i am,
what is reality or the meaning to life in its totality. Still searching for the love, the truth, or a person that can
lift the veil off these illusions.
As I continue to walk this lonely path I can only hope that things will change and things will become clear.
Empty promises and consistent disappointments only cement the walls to my shell to protect myself from
the wrath of hell. I no longer have control nor do I think I will ever be saved, saved from myself, saved from
myself, saved from myself.
I love life in all its ways. From waking up, to speaking to the first person i meet its a divine miracle that i am
here at all. Embrace all those that you meet, from the most mundane to the most insane, its all a divine
miracle. Divine miracle, divine miracle, divine miracle.
The crystal children incarnate on the eve of the new Aeon. Summoning back the sacred seven who tend to
the realms of heaven. Signals & Signs spark remembrance of our divine sacred origin bringing us into holy
communion with the eternal one.
As we run circles in this life together, know ill be there at your worst. When the world becomes too
overwhelming to handle alone ill be your pillar of strength. Ill lead you to the promise land you never
thought was real, thats why i'm here, thats why i care.
At this stage of my evolutionary growth i'm trying to gain a greater sense of my emotions and my
motivations. Clearing the blocks, trying to understand true compassion, and continually opening perception
to greater vantage points.
I have been here since the beginning, I have seen the end. I have seen the wars of many and overseen the
minds of righteous men. I have been here since your birth and I will see your death. I will always be with
you beyond your last breath.
I wordlessly express my discontent to myself in this dark night of the soul. Blowing in the wind is all i can do
because of all the confusion I cannot see through. Suffering between these confines of my prison walls,
sometimes it seems i'm just waiting to die.
My slumber seemed like a rude torrent of unfulfilled potential surmounting the lies of indescribable intricacy.
As i awoke i noticed the pages of time were all ripped apart and scattered in the far corners of the Earth.
And it seems I have spent multi-millenia trying to pick up the pieces to understand this mystery
You have your little characters set up, running around, going about their day. They wake with the rise of the
sun and move with their perceptions as they arise....how wonderful.
Set the night ablaze with the flame of timeless wonder. And give rise to the nocturne filled with perilous
thunder. Let us perfect our craft before the morning dew, and with it reach wholeness through & through.

Murders, death, prostitution, rape, torture, imprisonment, mentally insane, egotists, war mongers, oilers,
bankers, pathological psychos...the underworld.......
What a day to contemplate the mystery of creation, trying to find the key within my being to open the door
of longed for elation.
Riding the snake path, where it goes nobody knows. Wise men & fools are blindly using their idols & tools.
As above so below following slow behind the wisps of an alchemists dream. Sifting through the veils of the
egos self delusion trying to make sense of all the confusion.
Life exists in light vibrations that radiate from you and you receive. There is 2 ends of the spectrum, the
negative fear, depressed, pessimistic, hopelessness of denser vibrations and you have the illuminating
loving, blissful, content, peaceful higher and lighter vibrations that emanate from love. This is why love is
portrayed so vastly among the collective consciousness, for it shows us the way into freedom.
As the mescaline dissolved, i look to see whos involved. A tribe we are a tribe we met, a tribe we journey
into places where the shaman knows both angels and demons grow. As the sun danced its solar rays in a
harmonic symphony of cosmic synergy, i prayed for healing in deepest sympathy. The serpent rose, my
body froze, freed into dharma after resolved karma. We sat, and we lived the dream, the paradise, of
infinity.
Mind is everything and everything is mind, perceptions arise and then recede, madness comes when these
ideas begin to bleed. The bleed into your day, life, being till it begins to stain and hard wire in the fibers of
your brain. Then you start to whine, bitch & complain because you are sure your going insane because
your mind is altered and constantly on a higher plane. Till you realize, its all synchronicity.
My eyes are stained with your presence, The period to the end of my sentence. Hold me like you have no
other choice, And tell me sweet nothings with your seductive voice.
Each moment contains as much impact & importance as the all the moments prior and all future moments.
Snake path, slow movement, tired eyes, withered soul, seeking, searching, found, silent, present, analytical
introspective, seed, darkness, potential, germination, movement upwards, finding, growing, flowering, full
bloom, completion, wholeness, one.
Somehow in an individual is the seed of desire for connection, experience and ultimately freedom.
Freedom from what we cannot truly say for what is true freedom anyway? Is it a man to say he has done
what he dreamed to die a peaceful death or to satisfy the archetypal mother whose life is to create those
that take breath? Is it something that is with us all along or are we practicing our voice to sing our final
song?
See the light child burning, Sun dancing in divine ecstasy. Echoes of lost time and parallel realities Ring
onto dripping rays of the elven children. Trees gather round and form the sacred ring dancing, dancing,
dancing.
Its a matter of control. We live in this human zoo where we exchange glances and get involved in all the
hullabaloo. We see its ups and downs, smiley faces & frowns meeting both geniuses and clowns. We get
attached to any high the human condition can bring and avoid negativity, pain and the confusing reality
sting. When balanced amongst both worlds, silent & empty there is the only true lasting peace you shall
find.
n the balance of Libras scales we see 3 transcended into one. Life being the libran structure. The scales
being the ebb & flow of our dualistic conception. The scales are both curse and a boon, the source of
justice and injustice and we tip them endlessly. When we let go of all the egos grabbing & cluttering we
reach a state of the in between. To be a rock & not to roll, to be part of the world but not of it.

In a way to be in this state denies the PERCEIVED self in favor of seeing higher ground. A clarity of
uncluttering the minds ramblings and utterances with a direct, perceived abiding truth of being fully aware,
awake and immersed in the moment.
Our actions and thoughts create future realities. So when we bully someone we reincarnate to receive the
same treatment yet this is not for nothing! Our thoughts and desires from lives past have all come together
to be met in this life or the next, yet each action or thought we have committed is lacing the fabric of time to
always create new cycles of reality that order themselves. Confusing isnt it?
Call it the sin qua non of the human experience, the coup de gras, the pinnacle, the singularity, the moment
of liberation. It beckons across the aeon to each individual feeling separated from his own deserved divine
truth. Locked away in a darkness of latent foreboding casting shadows across his vision, glimpsing truths
unfathomable in his prior state.
The dreams of the gaian mind self-generate the future.
The young man sees his whole life flash before his eyes. He sees life as it truly is, the deepest truths of life.
The fire erupts in his soul and he is no longer the same. The music seems to grow louder the closer he
approaches the serpent. Deafening he begins to separate from his body.....Deeper......into a trance he
goes...
Your experience of reality is the product of all your beliefs. When one truly understands this message he
begins to see that the labels he places, concepts he believes actually morph the reality he perceives and
experiences day to day, moment to moment. If you believe in karma than it shall affect you, etc...
Reflecting, on the days of old and melding my experience with the present. When they say live in the
moment, sometimes you miss out on the revelation you are looking for.
It is a dark pupa, filled with inner metamorphosis which is your metaphorical mind, body & soul. Relentless
is a better term, for the more your soul searches and becomes more consumed by the search your desires
are manifesting karmic future influences which will bring into fruition of moments in time that help you on
your journey towards that moment. The butterfly of enlightenment.
The shaman realizes the power of intention in all things. He may speak in glossolalia that may seem
unintelligible to many yet profoundly sacred to the few. In an altered state of consciousness he can
effectively transport the seeker through various journeys into the realms of the ancestors. This is where the
shaman can begin his healing usually with the help from aiding entities and/or spirits
We persist in a world largely dictated by our shadows, our subconscious. Within the subconscious is our
connections, our tethers to aspects of ourselves. Whether inherited in this lifetime (non-reincarnation
believers) or the circumstance dictated by karma of inherited previous lifetimes. This is how certain cycles
can repeat themselves, a woman who repeatedly returns to a lover that hurts them for instance.
I find it profoundly odd that the mind or ego seeks to claim its knowledge & abilities as its own. One does
not grasp a higher sense of order/way of being & results end up with the incessant me & mines. Wars,
conflicts, domination & poverty of all kinds stem from conflict within the illusiory sense of the self, ego.
If i think all is meaningless and devoid of any real meaning so the veil of perception shall blanket my view. If
I believe all is love and wonder and truly believe it, is my perception not transformed? The proverbial
heaven & hell exist in the mind and in meditation we firmly root ourselves and discover that which we
question. That we all have the potential to reshape our future by reshaping how we think.
Who needs periods when you can keep a sentence continually going even if you feel the urge to write it
dont because it only limits your capacity to free write any you wish in this world so full of foolish individuals

blindly accepting every rule that ever was projected onto them from people that have surrounded them their
entire lives with or without their conscious awareness
Elder contacts tribes once reigned, Even the heretic that was once chained, Fire intensifies, the night stars
glow, Young mans body rises, shining white like snow, The time was nye, he now knew what it was like to
die, As colors of purest dye, dived deep into his perennial pineal eye.
The young and the hopeless and all the riches given to the homeless, in spirit of course. All these realms of
perception, ideas, thoughts, forms they all connect and flow between one another in a divine dance that
creates the very fabric of everything we know to be, life.......
Mentally elevated, crossing the void, separation from my ego so cynical and jaded. Body mind and soul on
the journey to become whole, follow the white rabbit, dance with Shiva on the eve of the new aeon. Static
and animate merge, bear the cross, disciple of the ancients follow the path of the mystic. Walk alone, bear
the fruit of love in your arms, bring forth the chosen one, lay him to rest and watch him grow.
The wisdom and knowledge of an infinite reality was merged with my consciousness, godhead, one.
Reborn, renewed, collected, and utterly free like a butterfly moving from tree to tree....
Feel it, dont think it, merge with it, dont separate it. Love it, dont fear it, commune with it, dont shut it out.
I feel it, like a splinter in my mind driving me mad. The metaphorical tumor of the impossible question.
Many a man have walked this path from beginning-less time and ultimately the endless future. Each adding
a piece to the mandala, completing the cycles. Cogs in the machine, allowing those clocks to tick. Spinning
wheels, all comes full circle.....
When you speak from only the wisdom that you have gained from your unique experience do you live in
the truth of what you truly know.
The mandala of life, the circles we run, mad is this world, truly mad we all are. The insanity is rampant yet
somehow we maintain.....if only for a little while....
Desolate man, aged woman, sifting through the past, broken picture frame. Killed animal, tribe in mourning,
hear the eagles cry, the moon is soaring. Twenty trials await, through the shamanic underworld gate, all
things will align, according to fate
Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness.
Do you know how scary it is to always be afraid that at any moment you might be sucked into the life of a
shaman. Do you know how powerful something like higher consciousness is? Did you ever, in the darkness
of all darkness, be so hopeless in the face of infinity that you feel might go insane forever?
When one vibrates their body (mind) on a certain vibration It will open itself up to communications of others
on the same vibration through sympathetic resonance. This can be facilitated through either humming
through the mouth in a meditative style or using a didgeridoo at different tones.
Our world resides in a slower more dense vibration, higher realms & proper communications in astral
realms as well as cosmic information depend on the vibration we reside. As above so below, this technique
seeks to bring the above realms reflected in the different scales within musical notation, into mental
manifestation below.
A man intending to put his vision into his music is infusing it with a portal into his own mind, his message,
his vision. Each one of us has a different massively complex system of vibrational frequencies within their
energy fields & minds. Though we can only perceive, sort of as a filter, the less dense frequencies which
we call immediate reality.

Love is the reason for everything, the reason to wake up, the reason to feel, the reason we exist, the
reason to connect with others, the sun to the moon and birth to death. It took me some alone time on a full
moon to truly realize this.
Lived a life so hollow and I chose to be a slave to my thoughts and let my body follow. I embraced the
darkness like it was my brother and we were friends for a time. I looked at my shadow as it stretched over
me and let my will be broken but the whole time it was begging for my heart to open. The wisest teacher of
all is your darkness which seeks to purify your light and make you whole.
Find a lover who will never leave and let your heart open and be free. If darkness is all that you have and
all that you see your missing the love that is the key. For whats a door for if your eyes are closed and your
mind constantly seeks the answer of the question posed?
I never understood that happiness was a choice and that you can change the tone of your inner voice. A
man can be berated by the cynical and jaded and still be free even if he seems hated. Listen to the words
that I've stated or you might just end up alone and faded.
When the holy spirit descended upon me in Amsterdam i didnt know what to think. So awestruck and in the
presence of the vision of the angels I couldnt even blink. And the story that I say is true cause who knows
which soul is who and they may one day come to you.
Ego has to take a serious beating before you can evolve to the next step. You dont think enlightenment
you feel and are that way. And i'm just trying to find my way as humbly as I possibly can.
Insight into the divine mind, discovering the ways of the wheel of time. Ancient prophets sowed the seeds
from life changing epiphanies, predicting the prideful decrees of future leaders swayed by greed. The
antichrist and the 4 horsemen all agree it is death and destruction we will inevitably see. When humanity
lies bloody bruised and broken, back we go to Zion where the lamb of choosing has spoken.
Who stumbled first from the evolutionary pool, are we just pawns? an alien races' tool? Are they harvesting
the earth for all its precious jewels, and keeping us confused with institutionalized schools. Setting up all
these rules to work us like mules until we realize the truth and end up looking like fools?
The serpent dances with the fires of the heavens Casting shadows of its scales across the blood stained
stones of the shire speaking softly of ancient memories. The serpent begins to gaze in every mind it sees
And exposes their ignorance and disconnection. The people feel fear deep within and look away. The
serpent remains with its fierce gaze Seeking the soul that should face the truth unfazed....
The caterpillar feeds, goes about his day, though invisible to it in its infancy, bearing the seed within for
metamorphosis, change, freedom. Watch the elegance of your thoughts, feelings, emotions. Embracing
experience as ancient as time itself, witnessing cycles only of the past, holding hope into the mind of future.
In my shadow is where i rest my head, where the darkness festers in my soul and my hopelessness fed. I
bleed sorrow at the crossroads of my life, I must make a choice now or find my throat a friend called the
knife.
I hate how nearly all of my thoughts, experiences and emotions are the thoughts, experiences and
emotions of others happening at the same time. WTF!! i cant control it and its driving me nuts. I feel like a
fragmented mess.
To understand the artist is to disgrace him for he knows his world is sacred only to himself and everyone
Is it better to be open, vulnerable, sensitive with yourself and to others or to repress your emotions and let
your ego take over and hawk other peoples flaws while projecting your own inadequacies? Both are lived
everyday, i see it all the time.

As the years grew though the darkness crept and through the years i wept. I wept over the sorrows, the
deaths,the wrong turns, bad moves and my aching soul begged for a source of forgiveness only to receive
the harsh cold hand of fate. Fate, my demon my monster, the one that waits behind a childs closet, the one
that hides behind the knife of a stabbing, the look on a mothers face as her child dies in her arms.
You make your way through the crowded foray. In the slums, back down the alleyways The nobleman with
raised chins, clank keys against their armor As they pay a visit to bankrupt the farmer. In the distance a
witch is hung, next door is a brilliant mind Withheld by the tongue, the priests line Giving penance and
death rites to the deceased As they tie the betrayer to a horse, and cover it with grease.
Experimental nymphos of the orgy elated.
Those claiming the Leary incarnate and the praised Guru never realizing the faultiness of perceived
brilliance. A mind crazed in the idea of being a messiah and ending the suffering, dreaming of the countless
who would come to see himself, the endless miracle and the soft still voice of a being already crossed over.
So i just got into this dream and i regressed into a half awake half asleep state, so then i feel this energy
happening in my body and head and i felt very woozy. Then i start hearing some alien sounding audio (the
best analogy is it sounding like some kind of stereotypical energy sci-fi technology) then these images of
alien faces and bodies start fading in and out of my vision and then slowly i wake up.
Minds perception peering behind the veil sick of the trivial and old because it feels so stale. The moon sits
up high and shines as the people try, the sun dances with the stars as the masses try to heal their mental
scars. Fallen Angels barely getting by crying to the sky thinking why? while screaming i'm ready to die.
Confusion will be my peak.... Confusion are behind all the words i speak Every opinion I keep Ever
declaration I seek
Portals, dimensions, time, realms, spirits, myth, lore, folk tales, books, movies, TVs, DVD, hypocrisies and
blasphemies. Presiding entities and noble & wrathful deities, shamans giving birth to epiphanies and
women giving birth to everlasting infinity
The ancestors call the young neophyte to the fires of transmutation, bringing him to the altar of sacrifice.
Trials await through the underworld gate overseeing the process of life, death & rebirth he must learn to
bridge the worlds. Divinely entranced into ecstatic states of conscious bliss he enters through the portal
bringing him complete awareness of the supreme spirit.
When you tell me, life is a boring, uneventful and faded show happening on a hunk of rock floating in the
middle of nowhere. I say to you, leave your home today because you have obviously sold your soul to a life
of mediocrity, a life full of regrets when death takes its toll.
Your birth is the collection of energy that was being influenced at that exact moment in time.
I sit here all alone with my thoughts in this crazed out world full of ideas, objects, perceptions, idea and
religions. Such a strange merry go round we were invited to since birth. Samsara is endless, it knows no
bounds. Countless people with their little stories, little dreams and little worlds that mean so much to them.
Continue to run little one, run little one run. My my, isnt this fun. round and round we go and where will end
up nobody knows. Nobody knows, nobody knows, nobody knows.
Divinely entranced into ecstatic states of conscious bliss he enters through the portal bringing him complete
awareness of the supreme spirit. Visions of ancient spirits assist and guide him, healing his wounded soul
towards wholeness. He cries the tears of a thousand men as his life flashed before his eyes recognizing
the sacredness of each moment he experienced.

Oh the love we feel is impenetrably the true wonder of any man. I feel the embrace of the shadows and
light alike and I move betwixt the dancing ember in my soul. For it is I and I alone who must stoke this
flame, It is I and I alone who must shape it and tame
Every thought is like a seed it just needs to go through its cycle like every tree, government, new colony. A
time to sew and a time to harvest, a time to die and a time to be reborn like every fad, generational culture
etc..One thing, to really understand reality, is that it exemplifies the truth of death & rebirth that is its core
element, cycles, circles.
A decent life is like a third world countries roller coaster, the experience is near insanity and death could be
around every corner, but by god its just so good without restrictions and regulations.
No man can be saved from a world enslaved into the institutions that provide no real solution other than to
indoctrinate the young at the same time the heretics are hung.
If you feel shitty about yourself the best way to cheer yourself up is to just head to your 5 or 10 year school
reunion to see all the people who never left high school mentally.
I feel that people shouldnt try to band aid a gaping wound called our current state of of our world, instead,
let the inevitable happen, and just prepare yourself mentally, physically for the trails ahead.
Come, come young one, the supreme spirit is calling, exalted on the altar of sacrifice. Through the
underworld one becomes dead to himself, dead to his world, finally free to see in clarity ones true self in its
eternal purity, from the central seat of ones soul in perfect united shakti.
The reason you exist is because of everything that has preceded your birth, you symbolize in this very
moment of time the culmination of eons of evolution, growth, death and rebirth on an unimaginable scale.
Its an interesting thing to truly realize that we are all looking on blindly into the future, not knowing the way,
taking it step by step. No safety in your parents or friends to tell you the "truth", we are all participating in
the great mystery of life.
Idea, just imagine for a second that plants have souls or on some level a type of consciousness (i believe it,
but to the skeptical i say imagine). Then look at Marijuana, it has seduced the human race. You take care of
it, spread it everywhere, make sure that it survives extinction. It gives, you take but you give back by
respecting it, giving it life.
Some friends i used to know flat out hate me now, but i love you like a brother because i remember how it
used to be.
From the spoken word to the arts one expresses his inconceivable reality to the ones he calls his race.
Sharing in the peculiarity of this existence, he time after time experiences the ups and downs of samsara.
Life after life, inhabiting one vessel to the next experiencing, moving, feeling, thinking. One is aware of the
timelessness that permeates every moment.
People are so odd so different, Think you've known someone, They turn around a pull a gun. Drinking with
a gypsy, having fun. Wake up naked, broke, in the morning sun. Talk politics with a priest, who takes
midnight strolls. Hiding his deeply kept secret, making love to the deceased.
My mind is crazy, your ideas of normalcy dont phase me because i see outside your illusiory sense of
reality that has become your formality of introductory salutation, a life melded with a nation filled with
mental segregation against brilliant ideas crafted from beings in quiet contemplation.
That which springs from the sea of endlessness has arrived at this very moment in all of its preciousness

"Instead of love feel hate, turn tenderness to coarseness, sympathy to ridicule, openness to ego, live to kill,
freewill to lobotomy, wisdom to foolishness, truth to 2-facing, worth to degradation, caring to berating" Sincerely, the worlds malignant tumor
Thought is often linear and limited to ones accustomed language, splintering the larger perception Thought
is often linear and limited to ones accustomed language, splintering the larger perception
I just remembered, i was at the park in Berlin and these college film artists asked if I could be part of it. So
what they asked was that I demonstrate an emptiness of meaning, of a frustrated life all through body
language...Its funny because thats exactly what i felt then. Life is strange.
The winds of time casts a shadow on our fears and our joys, yet there is a spark of the eternal within each
that rises above the noise.
Reading up on experiences/stories with psychoactive substances certainly opens up a Pandoras box of
possibilities and incredible insight into the abyss of phenomena. Its not for everyone, and i'm not condoning
it either, but to those brave explorers i salute you, you have enriched my perspective incredibly and to my
own experiences i can identify.
Im a sinner, a horn-ball, a crude humored kid, lazy, irresponsible, confused, stubborn, at odds with my
egotism, hypocrite, pessimist, unlucky, rude, critical, cynical, jaded, faded. Yet I am none of these things
Willing and open participants in group therapy is a microcosmic event of what I call the metaphor of utopia
Fickle mistress, the vixen of my fantasies. Knows of my repressed sexual deviance as she parts her knees.
Sweat beads off my inner raw desires, drenched in the aphrodisiac of lust, my body perspires
Walking in a hall of jaggedly placed mirrors is much like parallel universes. You move and all other you's
move in all different directions and angles, thats one layer of parallelism. Whats even crazier is, for you to
be even existent you had to be reflected as well from something. So the infinite precedes your existence
necessarily for you to exist and you are crucial to infinity expanding beyond you.
Technically, we have never moved. Distance is only measured by finite measurements relative to our
perception of movement through space. There is no distance between point A and Point B when one
realizes that its measured against infinity, which renders measurement as an illusiory concept not a reality.
The more and more i witness people act, talk and behave the more i realize that many adults are just big
grown up children.
Feel me in this moment lost in the dream unbroken by the stumbling illusion of perceived wakefulness
amongst my deep slumber. Secured growth within this uterine wall, tumbling down the tunnel, blinding
white light, umbilical cord around my neck so tight, Cesarian to save my soul
Oh the forest shows me secrets one can only glimpse in their dreams where everything is alive and
animated and not what it seems...
Somehow I realized what lies at the center of a black hole at least conceptually without reading anything
about it. Theory proven, our thoughts are not ours in the ordinary sense, its the collective's, people have
the same dreams, beliefs, ideas, concepts miles apart and without a word communicated.
Why is it always someone who is "different" than the norm that stalks someone or even worse kills
someone. You rarely if EVER hear of someone famous being so skeevy, specifically targeting these
outcasts, misfits, counter culture people out of spite for what they represent.

I remember during the most profound mystical awakening I ever had, me and this girl i was tripping with
found a purple lotus (fake, but symbolic) near the end of the trip. I never forget how significant that felt to
me.
I find it amazing that people can call 'dreams" not real....or have any connection to reality? You do it every
night! Just for fun?? What about nightmares?? It goes to show how much of the modern world knows very
little about the deeper essence of self
The power is in the word, silent metaphors to express the unheard. A learned man is but a fool if he feels
himself wise, nourishing separation brings suffering from the comforting lies.
You'll never know the truth by using your thoughts. Prison's of perception tamed by the warden of Human
limitation who's method of madness is the Linearity and separation accentuated by these symbols of which
we sold the truth to.
slave children suckling on the teet of predetermined destinies crafted by corporate big wigs keeping a leash
on emerging culture and human thought processes through media channels.
Its life you know, i cant really help you....i will just be your friend, love you and i guess we'll all float on. I
guess my only advice is dont cling.....appreciate.....no where to run, nothing to complete, no bar of
achievement to surpass, no prerequisite for death. Because it will come, oh be certain young one, let go.
I stand for everyone having the ability to accept death when it comes, to love your assailant, accepting your
reality.
Wow i just realize how much i think philosophically. I was watching a crappy halo rap or something on
YouTube, and all i could think about is how humans have created extensions of their soul through exterior
mediums. Diverging worlds where people immerse themselves in virtual worlds & cultures vs. real world &
cultures.
Speak from the book of Enoch, the sacred texts of yore. Taught by the sacred mushroom, the metaphors of
its spores showed how Teachers come in all forms, behind each and every door. Like bacteria we form,
pulled like gravity forward to the realm of the gods our ancestors moved with purpose toward.
If an alien (extra terrestrial not an immigrant) memorized every word in the dictionary and came to America
he still would be confused as hell. We describe things all the time in the most retarded ways with
meaningless words and terminology. In this status I said the alien would be confused as "hell", what the hell
does that even mean?
It feels like I'm a fucking baby about to be born into higher dimensional consciousness but i cant fucking
cope with it. I think and perceive things everyday that makes me cringe with its insane level of detail, its
absolute decimation of the old way of seeing and feeling completely overwhelmed by these realities. Hyper
awareness of multidimensional fields of data, noticing connections of synchronicity interlocking in grids of
energy is just....is just....the tip of the iceberg....
Reflecting images come into conscious view, souls not truly souls just parts of the whole representing their
inalienable necessity to eternity. All ignorance stems from the fragmented soul disconnected from his true
united state, the ultimate clear radiant light of all reality. The birthplace of all manifestation, limitless,
formless, pure potential brought forth into reality from the void.
I remember I was watching a sopranos episode where Tony was in a coma. He was having a vivid dream
where everyone knew him as "christian finnerty", he was a business man of some sort. Confused, he tried
to tell people he had the wrong guy. He had a briefcase and everything. After it ended i went to the store
and I saw a street "christian", i was like....wtf? then home again i turned on the TV, the families last name
on the show was "finnerty"!

A huge problem in society is the idea of instant gratification. People want the change but they dont want to
put in the spade work or wait for the results. Often times they want a leader, a figure to calm their woes
which just cock blocks a possible new type of system to emerge. Evolve.
Just riding the wave, life will suck so much then open up to be amazing. Honor your depression, he's an
angel in disguise.
Death makes children of us all...
Its amazing, i feel so free sometimes. I think to myself freedom to do anything is just half the issue. The
other half is to have an open mind, being open to any creative activity at any time and embracing intuitive
epicness.
I feel i'm at a crossroads but one side seems to be winning out over the other. There's the inner spiritual
side, the desire to study yoga further, meditate, do tantra and karma sutra, expressing the experience
through the arts. Then theres the political and economical, psychological, highly analytical on connections
and human behavior side that seeks to change society. The latter of which i feel is perhaps a distraction to
healing myself.
Pulsing waves of anguish roll ever my tired eyes soul withered, touch my soul, give me a kiss and push me
into the abyss. Karmic weavers of samsara's delight, just open your mouth for a dose of a lifetime acid or
rebirth otherwise it wont be a surprise, the truth behind your lies
I had a very strange dream last night. The craziest part was I walk into a hotel and someone tells me I'm
meeting 2 people in a reserved room, room 260, i'm really excited, they give me a key, i tip them then walk
up the stairs. Walking down the hall there is all these displays of humans, technology, strange looking
humanoids and everything becomes progressively more alien. Then i get towards the end and I see
everything is connected to aliens. Something says to me "Madison, Life is all just a projection", I'm like no!
no! looking around scared. And slowly I slip back and start waking up.
Hosts of the parasitic feast, We feed and take heed of This infinite moment of connection. Destruction and
powerful lusting , Sexual orgies and energy shards That emanate from our glowing bodies Glowing,
glowing, glowing. Slip back into eternal bliss.
So tell how it ought to be and I will tell you how it is. You come to me and feel its destiny, it always is,
because you are me
Wow, truly a strange look into the nature of karma and how we attract reflections of ourselves. And how
cycles, archetypes and stories that seem so unique are just rehashed & recycled with even the same play
sets. Couldnt believe what i saw today.
True soul only comes out when the masks are down. But it takes a man near the brink of death before he
will ever do such a thing, most of the time
Soooo i'm on the bus going to Daytona right. A guy next to me reveals that the TV was talking to him telling
him to go to Orlando because a girl from the home shopping network is madly in love with him. One self
administered "holy fuck" said to myself and a 911 call finished...mad world...
Its all a game, a dream, an experience. A controlled and controller manifesto between the oppressors and
the investors of revolutionary counter measures to create an ether feast of pleasure
..7:30, time to get ready to hit the streets full of wanna be dreamers, post apocalyptic cynics, fad trending
tweet heads and the aimless. The only thing I connected with was this gathering of the clinically
depressive's awaiting behind every smile, something we all shared in silent testimony to the beauty of life..

The soul begins to see the suffering of hell, the deepest wrathful part of the bardos. The merciless demons
tear apart many souls who have given themselves over to the wicked. A choice, a decision the soul has
brought themselves to by their will and way. Blood flows like rivers of great mountainsides, mindlessly
ruthless the demons deal punishments according to the great law. The luciferous one oversees the process
of death and rebirth in perfect shakti.
She is the one that sits with me in that dark place, time forgotten and our dreams the only reality. Her sweet
lips show glimpses into her undying eyes of devotion giving immortality to our sacred connection. The
universe dances in the energy of our lust, sexual deviants, the sin qua non of the human experience.
What i learned through meditation last night: Everyone adapts and plays character roles, like masks we all
change in and change out. We become attached to certain masks and reinforce the strength of these
masks through opinions, actions, convictions and self assuring monologues. The true "self" is faceless so it
is able to see all as it really is, it takes no real special ability to tap in to your true self, only the silencing of
thoughts that remind you of who you THINK you truly are.
This gaian matrix is sort of an energy radiating around or ecosphere that contains a patterned energy, with
information we intuitively absorb and schedules development cycles, gives us our initial instincts and
comes to teach us awareness. This gaian mind is connected to a universal plane of infinite intelligence, that
transmits information to our planet. The more a species evolves into greater complexity, the more it can
access this field of consciousness. This also proposes the notion of a vaster intelligence that is aware of
our existence, transmitting information as deemed necessary to a species growth. So in a way, our
encased consciousness field acts as a filter, keeps us grounded, it allows us to focus on our immediate
reality. Without it, we are exposed to an infinite sea of consciousness, lying outside our matrix is a vast
cosmos full of information being transmitted across space.
I know Id shine if my life had developed a bit differently, these neurotic paranoid tendencies dim the light
as much as i stoke the flame
I'm officially convinced that humans at some point in the not so incredibly distant past asexually
reproduced. Then there was some deviations in the genetics that developed over time creating the nature
of man and woman. I have on and off compared the genitalia of both sexes and there are a shocking
amount of similarities, and if try to piece the different parts of both you can see their commonality.
Jack of all trades, art of deceit perfected and the con artistry is part of my souls tapestry, an apostrophe to
the plurality of my deviancy, the hypocrite is the prophet and those who profit from the topic will sell off it
when the assets become toxic.....Sick....
I have 2 issues in my contemplations regarding enlightenment and reincarnation in connection with karma.
One is, the idea of enlightenment is considered the ultimate attainment for those who believe in it, but
enlightenment is fully realizing your true self. Thus, its the realization that you've been playing a game with
yourself this whole time, tricking you into this human form. Also, if my karma today reflects past lives n
such, when did my soul start? At beginning less time? Do others souls "start" at different "times"? HOLES
my friend, holes everywhere.
Soft amber rays slowly pierce the dying day....restless emotions ripple under the surface as this moment i
feel has never changed...unsettled nerves frayed from the passing of countless timeless exchanges
between the inner and outer, and not a choice to be chosen.
Ashamed? Sure i am...For what? You could only guess...Salvation? Someday maybe...My Mind? A
gateway to confusion and mystery...The Way? Unknown....Destination? Home...
I had a weird dream, in a house someone was on fire and so was a table, me and someone i dont know
who tried to extinguish them, but we would make a little headway and realize we forgot something to help
with this, so back n forth 3-4 times, then the man was dead and the table burnt. Someone rings the door, i

open it, a huge muscle man answered, told him about it, he said wait a day before u report it or your getting
arrested (something like that) then a bunch of other small things are happen around the house, i drink
something, then i realized, i dreamed all this to happen...then i said to myself, who's dreaming me? Then i
woke up with like a surge of adrenaline.
Epiphany, eyes to see, fluid motions conducting the symphony. Tones and notes float above the moans, not
a master nor slave, not a rant nor rave. Simply the life the moment gave and the souls it always saves.
A lot of people dont really realize the drastic impact science has had, is having and will increasingly
change how people experience life. The idea of the human genome, cloning, stem cells, neurotic patterning
of human behavior and much more are begining to change how we view the human. While the world is no
doubt as mysterious as it ever was people begin trading the magic for the calculable, mathematical,
predictable. That you can grow people, that people are expendable, when people thought that the self
could never be changed a doctor holds your neo-cortex with a scalpel in his hands and pill to let you drone
on. And the newer generations are vastly impressionable, a new breed of people are being born, or rather,
being bred.
So, i'm this dream where where i accidentally turn down an alleyway of old school gangsters who slowly
are coming toward me. I manage to get away but one of them keeps decent pace with me, i dip around a
bend and i was going to surprise sucker punch him. But as i do, it doesnt land and next thing i know i'm on
the ground. Its just a young black kid standing over me, and he's talking to me as i realize at that moment i
was dying. He said he had to do it or i wouldnt understand the universe. My eyes go wide, everything goes
dark, i can feel this pressure release in my skull like a detaching. Inner lights and patterns start to form,
then instead of this murk it was a lucid blue energy, with ribbons spinning around in 3d, like opening my
eyes i find myself on my knees. As I watch a beautiful blue orb slowly and gently drift from my body, i cried
a bit but not in a bad way, i felt this was a very good thing.
Oh how doth the boobeths swayeth too n fro chattering on the outskirts of my peripheries. Voluptuous teets
shining like rubies of the obsessed miners delight as the the piercing moonlight doth cascades on thine fair
maidens divinely sculpted sweater cows,the moans of lust quivering ever so on my restless lips.
I belong to the world of my dreams and imagination not this home of limitation, struggle and condemnation
of my neurotic human self
As long as money determines our decisions we will continue to see the degeneration of our environment,
freedoms and quality of life. A monetary system breeds competition, corruption, unsustainable consumption
of resources, war, poverty, crime, hunger, disease, etc. We can educate ourselves and others on a
resource based economy, we still have the tools and ability to come together and work toward a more
sustainable/sane system.
I' had 2-3 occasions this week where I had these odd trance states before i fall asleep, during the day and
at night. The first one was almost scary and i didnt realize it until after that I had been somewhere else in
my mind. One was in a room with alarms telling me i'm one with the universe, then the other i was going
through tubes of changing colored light, and last night a string of dream scenarios, all visually coherent.
The strange thing about them is that I imperceptibly slip into the them, and it's like seeing a dream but from
the comfort of relatively unchanged conscious awareness. Like, I knew my roommate was next to me on
his computer, All i really had to do was open my eyelids which wouldnt be an enormous feat. But i was so
engaged in my trance that it felt normal to witness this, so continued on.
The moon stares at your soul laying all bare to see, your eyes have become insignificant as we merge with
the world tree
In one of my dreams last night I was working at a factory and Mexico when something exploded inside
killing a young boy and girl, both 5 years oldish Then I remember being alone holding this dead girl walking
towards a beautiful sunlit ocean crying so hard knowing I had to send her away....humbling man...

Another dream was crazy last night too. I was at my childhood home in NY, and a chunk of the ground
starting cracking, I hop off it startled then it starts cracking where i'm standing now too, I get to the driveway
and its happening there too I started running into my neighbors yard but all of the earth gives way and all is
water below me, everything is silent as I yell "please help, i have tried so hard for so long" as I quietly get
consumed...wake up...
If God is real he/she/it knows that every man can awaken himself, realizing he is simply ignorant of his true
self and true behavior, if the man were to wake up to this the truth it would be self evident and arise
naturally in understanding rather than the individuals expected dictations from preconceived notions
throughout his life of a condemning neurotic omnipotent being forcing down his throat the "truth" from a
book of laws
I had a crazy dream where i had been lured into a demonic world, there was like 5 of these huge people
somewhat-deity looking beings. They were lustful of fighting and ignorant, they tested me by having to fight
this guy, we were both pretty bad at it, I was about to lose as my opponent disappears. I conversed with the
beings shortly before returning to regular earth. Then an ancient woman began coercing me into a portal to
the realm of the underworld. A young impressionable man next to me is being coerced too, slowly as we
get into the portal and into the other world her face slowly changes to a more morbid evil looking face
explaining about satanic powers that most people try to fight off this evil but wind up giving in and
consumed by it. I began to become worried so I ran, ran hard away back into this world and the man next
to me came running to me telling me i had to go back, I said fuck that dude GET AWAY FROM THAT SHIT,
it's going to suck away the life out of you and you'll be used by them, he was a bit mad trying to convince
me but i denied all of it, I knew what the price of their power was. I eventually escaped down an elevator
then went outside feeling very freed.
My mind travels into the open ended questions of endlessly refracting ideation that draws its inspiration
from the beginnings of all the endings ever shaping their existence in between the lines of the drama's that
unfold on all layers and subtleties of the strings that intertwine in the web of consciousness bringing light
into awareness and darkness into ignorance springing my little form into being from the womb of my
imprisonment and ultimate freedom branching into forms beyond forms, trials beyond tribulation, growth
beyond decay.
The only time I had a direct confirm-able (to me) connection with "god" was one time I remember I was
watching a show on discovery about these people who had near death experiences. And one women had a
dialogue with "god", asking her if she wanted to go back, but "god" said before she chose, it was going to
show her something and then flashed before her eyes her whole life and connection with her only daughter
so she decided to come back to be with her. I felt a certain beauty and deep inner sadness about all of it
because i feel so disconnected from that transcendence. Then i had a dream that night where i was on a
beach looking at the ocean, and then the ocean sprang letters asking me "What do i want to know?". I was
so amazed because I felt it was this "god". So I asked questions but the answers were cryptic, like it
couldn't tell me, and some questions like "Whats my purpose" were not answered at all.
The second u reach that which u seek which path will you choose, the path of the selfish or the path of the
meek and will your tongue only speak the truth or will it only speak only deceit?
The second u reach that which u seek which path will you choose, the path of the selfish or the path of the
meek and will your tongue only speak the truth or will it only speak only deceit?
One wanders with the tinkering idea lurking in the back of your mind, the taboo unrealized realization, the
meandering psyche dancing in the river of vibrations, that all of this is a dream and the most central
culmination of all of life is to wake up.
I have not felt such earth shattering despair to his extent, to the point where I don't even feel I have a lens
perception to cling too. Nowhere to go, no one to be, no mask seems worthwhile, nothing to accomplish,
loveless, hopeless, a jumbled clutching desiring tick sucking on whatever teet that can nourish for a little
longer all the while just wanting to fucking clock out, day in day out.

I'm a sleeze, I'm defiant but sensitive inside, I sound smart but I feel I'm stupid, people comment that I have
some talent but I never think I'm good enough, I say crude things for shock humor but inwardly detest my
arrogance, I'm a jack of many trades but master of none, I fight my ego every step of the way, I have no
attention span, My memory is shot, I see amazing things in my head but I can't show you it, What i really
think about life I never bring up in conversations, heads going to explode from all the swirling mayhem of
higher perception, dimensions, intrinsic unity of all life, though....I feel isolated, alone, deserted, consumed
in desires, worries, fear. Running....Running....Running....
Understanding the Tao is a strong realization. It is an amazing awareness of the flow of life and seamlessly
connecting with that flow without any input. It's akin to the difference between rowing a boat or letting the
wind push your sails to carry you.
My mind wandered like a drunkard, non-inhibited by the social tapestry of the blind. I spoke candidly and
pursued erudite conversations among the intellectuals of the present day, to paraphrase Hunter S.
Thompson, in our foul year of our lord, 2008.
I'll dopplegang your veins so we're one in the same. So i can realize who you are and be your mirror, the
inner nagging voice that complains.
Sometimes I wonder if all our own respective ancestors lives are encoded in our DNA like Assassins Creed,
because sometimes I feel overrun with multiple perceptions of what I'm thinking about or experiencing that
are often contradictory. As if interjecting perspectives of all types of beings will be viewable and understood
as "my own". Then I'll see what I would call my real "self" as really just an observer and my mind as an
adaptive organism that is reactive to my environment, yet has no bearing on the unsustainable void self,
the act of observing.
This epoch of time is like a tightening spiral and the most painful process of integration of all. This is the
moment where all duality of thought & action is merging back into one conscious perception and ultimately
reaching a universal realization of unity.
I'm just a baby, alone in my crib, my mind is open, so is my will to live. Once i fell out of my space, and
bumped my head on the ground, I felt the pain and realized for once i wasn't safe & sound. So i began to
give my world meanings to protect my little self, made it the reason I live, above everything else.
Any time I watch something cerebral or mind bending I feel like a kid in a candy store. Like twilight zone or
the movie "Being John Malkovich", Donnie Darko & Fight club, like when someone is having a vision in a
show and they are experiencing a weird dream sequence, anything along the lines of challenging peoples
comfort zone, not necessarily in a terrifying way, but to bring out awe in someone, really make them aware
that they are truly alive in this moment.
Tell me of ancient memories, of a land far, far from here. And I will be your companion on the road to
anywhere
People don't want whats best for them, they want to act like they need help and advice but really just want
you to hear the gurgles of them drowning even though they are often surrounded by life vests
Logic & the illogical must learn to co-exist. Someone commented how great a solo on the song "Echoes" by
Pink Floyd was, and another replied saying there is no "solo" because there are other instruments playing
then someone replied to him that he's an idiot, citing that just because there are other instruments playing
during a "solo" does not stop it from being a "solo". Logic says it is indeed not a "solo" because it is not the
lone musician playing his instrument and the illogical says it is a "solo" because it fulfills what creative
meaning we gave the variance in the music in question to be. I only bring this up because I hate language
whores, I see both sides, i think we all do when we stop the bullshit. Please, be aware of the actual idiocy
of it when we all (as reasonably grown & educated individuals) know the reasoning behind it.

Amidst all my dreams & ambitions, intellectual fantasies of grandeur while simultaneously knowing its
futility n such I think about a simpler humbler life. A simple Taoist man in the hills of Tibet or even the
roaming stretches of New Zealand. A humble, today is the only feeling & awareness type of life, my little
garden and only a library of books and meditative sessions to pass the time.....ahhhh.....yessssss.....
Money = Debt, money is only created and put into the circulation through debt I.E. Loans. If all existing
debts were paid off right now, there would be no money in circulation. Then apply interest to the loan that
created money and you realize that there is never enough money to pay off debts. If we were to pay off all
loans plus interest you couldn't, it is not possible, there is no money made through loans to compensate for
the demands of interest. Meaning someone will always lose, someone will always go bankrupt. Do you
understand now why the world is fucked?
I think I fully realize now that people are often ignorant of one very important factor when it comes to the
idea of a dreamed for Utopian society. That our behavior is guided by systems inherited in perhaps the very
fabric of reality or at the very least, our roots grounded in nature.
Diversified actions are collateral for the motivations of the human animal, deemed a socially sanctioned
taboo turned out to be the only savior, who knew?
The situation is as follows. Wages will either go down or remain the same, and never go up. Inflation will
rise and you will have to work more hours. Most families can't satisfactorily get by without 2 incomes, soon
young adults more often than not will have to help support their family. This group of people will get bigger
and bigger. Everybody around you will say, it's a job, you got a job! be happy! a lot of people don't, until
everyone starts losing their lives to the labor mill. It's already happening, America is soon to be China's
twin, unless we change it.
What people often overlook is, with survival of the fittest it doesn't always work out to be the fittest long
term. You wind up using up all the resources and food sources available and wind up dying yourself. Birth
rates, death rates and consumption levels are all variables to account for. But think how crazy things would
be if every human gave birth to litters!
Last night before bed I thought about being a Shaolin Monk for an hour. This way of life, so immaculately
disciplined, advanced energetic awareness, pin point precise muscle memory, devotion, and this
consistency of being is so intriguing to me.
I hate the feeling that it always feels my path is destined for me. And don't give me that, just believe in
yourself or something type crap. I have tried to alienate, detach or disassociate myself from constantly
analyzing and philosophizing the world, seeing these complex psychological understandings. I could never
be a video game creator, theater actor, comedian, musician or anything I really love other than a monk or
theologian and i hate it so god damn much sometimes you could not even imagine the rage.
You tell me that time passes by in seconds, minutes, hours and the like. But you never told me what the
speed of time actually is.
Theres a stirring in my soul, no longer the wretched endless hole I've come to know. Maybe it will stay and
maybe it will go, either way I'll have known all the karma I've sown
I just had a long dream that was like watching my entire subconscious streaming into manifested 3d reality,
but it was all happening in weird states of awareness. I was constantly changing scenes and whole
realities, layers of perspectives. There was a theme to it though returning to a guy (me in this dream) who
had either died in a car accident and didn't realize it and is wandering the dream world or a man constantly
swept into other realities because of erratic neurological glitches in his consciousness. Every time I glitched
I would switch and vicariously view through people in distorted ways, I observed disputes between people,
animation sketches on politics and government.

Every once in a while I'll "wake up" regarding something. Like sometimes I'll be in a somewhat crowded
area and I'll be aware of being alive and witnessing mystery, I think everyones had them at some point or
another. Just now while checking my glasses i realize I have been taking these off & on, cleaning them,
struggling to my lens back in sometimes, that if I didn't have them I'd be pretty much semi-blind most my
entire teenage and adult life.
I think the first time I ever really noticed Adaptive & Mimicking behavior in people is when I was young I
noticed that my laugh would change a couple times a year. I realized that it would closely resemble those of
most influence in my life as groups of friends and people would change.
I realize how much I run from myself because everything points to going higher up the ladder of conscious.
But Im beyond scared and confused, as much as I can write and speak volumes on esoteric subjects it
doesn't enrich me in any worthwhile way. It seems like I'm being guided by a larger will of the cosmos and
my wishes aren't of most concern to the collective necessities of the universe.
Try to imagine all the secrets people keep from each other. All the people who have held it inside and live
side by side with you everyday. Perhaps ashamed, confused themselves, leading a double life, thinking you
wouldn't understand, afraid you'd ostracize them. There is an unseen world, a layer of truth, in the
darkness.
I nestle my soul betwixt the bosom of a morning not yet born for when I awaketh from my deep slumber I
shall have the eyes of a child knowing not the foolishness of man. Virile and ever wide eyed to the freeing
embrace of novel experience, purity unstained by the self-righteousness of blind assumptions and
hypocritical blasphemers
To me now it's a matter of going deeper into the inner world, the inner dimensions of conscious. If my
rekindled and reshaped awareness of the world tree is correct Only there will we find the process in which
consciousness manifests itself, the external world, the obsession with the material could almost be seen as
a hell because in the world of believing in the concrete material non-quantum characteristics of the
universe only leads to a fundamental misunderstanding of metaphysical gnosis.
The way people do hard drugs most of the time is often how we create/interact with societal systems. At
first the new system/drug is great, provides benefits, provides new experiences and opportunities in its own
unique way. But then as time goes on the system/drug brings more pain than pleasure, the body builds a
tolerance, it's not as effective as it once was, you find yourself hopeless in the grasp of something you
know is leading nowhere unless you can get off that train and move on.
Descriptions my ego uses to elaborate this truth to you will always fall short. You will live your days, in and
out living by certain ideals, conceptions and feelings that you attribute to your sense of being alive. All
egotistical manuevers for yourself to experience itself. If there wasnt a man to disagree with me how could
you sustain this unstable reality? If all knew this utter truth all the time how could one cope? he cant, thus
his ignorance is his best friend. Endlessly supported by mans diversionary tactics. Filling in time
A self sufficient, self mutilating cesspool of hedonism that self generated its poison and antidote at the
same time.
I'm waiting for the day where a woman will recount with in-depth detail, a tabloid magazine and her belief
that all of it has some degree of truth and will share with me her extreme opinions & convictions about it. It
is at precisely this moment will I stand in awe of having seen the lowest of technically "higher functioning"
primates, the infected colon of ignorance & sheer stupidity shining like a fat pristine pink diamond in front of
me.
I think Im beginning to realize I'm maturing overall in character. I still joke and act stupid, but it sort of hit
me that I understand what adults spoke about maturity back in high school and that I'm a far cry from how I
thought then in ways I'm particularly proud of

Everything you feel think and experience is creative, the motivating sexuality of all life in sync with ebb &
flow of time. Ride the wave, float downstream and sail on the wind you will never ever catch
I wake up in the middle of the night with the sound of someone saying "good" in a strange voice. Thirsty I
get up into the kitchen, it's 2:22. This was all preceded by an inner monologue of confusion and frustration
directed towards the universe before I fell asleep. he?
When people are really good friends or best friends they almost always physically look like they are from
the same genetic line of human
Being a Supreme Court judge must be one of the most intense positions ever. You must radiate in-depth
knowledge in law, insight into the wisdom of the cases presented, every little nook and cranny of
someone's testimony accounted for, every rock unturned. It is a delightful mind game at it's finest
This is going to sound strange but it hit me on another level last night. Shows like sponge bob or any
cartoon are flat-out not real, I know you're gonna say "durrrrrrr", but we often live with these unexamined
impressions of the show like "Patrick IS HILARIOUS" or lmao remember that episode when sponge bob
blah blah blah, or Cartman from south park said this " ". It's such an interesting illusion that only goes semi
examined, like we obviously know it's not real but it breaks the wall of it not actually mattering.
I flew with the eagle, I was free. I laid down with the wolf, he was alone like me
Little bubble, the last of your kind, I will blow you bigger, blow and blow and blow, you will be great.
Everyone will want to join in, put everything they have and own to make you bigger, though there are forces
just outside of you that will eventually pull the trigger. But for now, you are the star of the world, the bubble
that could, the bubble that triumphed all, and when you come crashing down, when it all goes "poof" the
world will fall with you, in all your glory, in all your glorious death
One thing I find interesting to me is thinking about how people actually view me. Not in an insecure way but
how they actually view me in all the little parts they have gotten to know about me. And I almost find it
strange how anyone could really really like me in any overall way that they would want to be long term
friends or even intimate. It's always something happening just outside of myself.
Maybe the magic is in the subjective, everyone wants to know the objective these days. If quantum physics
say anything about the randomness and possibility of matter, who knows how powerful our minds are in
controlling that. Maybe the whole reason anything even exists is because man is viewing it, transforming
the limitless possibility of waves into something we collective convince ourselves actually exists.
One thing I noticed about most people is that they don't know how to access passion. Most experiences
are casual and mediocre and fail to absorb themselves in the feeling or be overcome by the beauty or
hilarity of something even when they like it.
I move in synchronous union within the one, I have never been separated from the great dream.
I think there is a collective learning to everything, an interconnected metaphysical relationship, a non local
quantum conscious. Everything is pushed along by everything, to think of yourself, who you are or anything
you do outside that collectivity is the false ego, an illusion.
I don't remember exactly when it happened, but I hate being around most people. Tired of the quirks, the
repetition, laziness of most people to do anything creative, that I find myself, family and casual relationships
to be about the only thing I can stand
While we're all "human" we are as diverse in our minds as the ecosystem of plants, animals, insects and
beyond. To each his own, accept those you do not understand but live the way you wish and if there is ever

a time the things you do come under scrutiny, under question, you will make your choice as you see it, and
to tell you that's wrong is the jurisdiction of no man, at least certainly not me.
Senators should have legal fights like in hockey, then these guys would be able to let off steam every time
some guy is a bitch ass and filibuster's, people will think twice about that shit, make it count.
Spiraling into your mind the visions come forth of endless refracting energy weaving itself without
boundaries past all knowable and conceivable perceptual reality. The fringes of the madman, Le salade du
jour of the shaman, the test of neophyte, the ever glowing radiant dream, the manifestation of all creation,
springing from the void in a self evident dharma kaya of infinity. To witness this moment, right here right
now, is to witness the mystery of all mysteries, the movement of my heart, mind, soul eyes are but a pale
gloss of how i feel inside. Of what I know to be, the inner vision of truth, awakened, born again, the peak.
That feeling you get when u have a cup of coffee The smile on a child's face The laughter of fat drunk
opera loving Italian man The sweet nectar of a womans bosom The divine cadence of music perfection The
honeydew drops of tears from the death of a loved one The speechless awe of gazing at the milky way The
orgasmic union of the feminine and masculine joined as one in a sweltering sauna The triumph over the
fears we've held to the degree of a thousand men The yammering of a swerving homeless man The
cacophony of sirens and horns throughout the streets of cities The dance of snowflakes cascading over a
mountaintop Forgotten memories coming to life whilst viewing an old photo The feeling of knowing
someone your whole life while you just met The speechlessness of watching your infant child burst through
your wifes vagina The awakening of insight into the true meaning of your soul Watching 2 men fight over
whether life is a divine comedy or A shameless godless civilization The inspiration and determination that
drives men like Mike Tyson to the top, no exceptions Crying your eyes out making you realize how much
you can actually feel That ecstatic moment of utter perfection brought together in the strangest way
What if what you think will happen, you will experience individually. Every person navigates their way
through time space by choosing to think a certain way. If you believe Jesus is coming soon, so he will, if
you think it's nuclear fallout, then it will. You guide it, everyone is on their own path
People overlook the great aspiration that is peace. Most people are really searching for happiness. Peace
is a clam abiding freedom that desires to change nothing because everything is accepted as is, without
condition. And happiness is seen as the fruition of dreams, a stroke of luck, progress, everything going
right, creativity. It is not so much valued the idea of peace in the face of happiness. No fame, no fortune, no
hedonism? Peace has a transparent face yet happiness comes in many forms.
Should we just accept that shitty things happen to people? When a girl passes out drunk and get's sexually
abused by some guys, do we say you should have been smarter? That will teach you a lesson? Are you
wacked? Shouldn't we be becoming more aware of this shit socially, to eek it out of our social circles to be
sick perverts? To build common sense? Don't you want to at least work on a world where we try diligently
to be able to trust people more often, trust the human species for fucking once?
You know how people say, you wouldn't say that shit to me in person, hiding behind a computer! It's
because you will probably start throwing fists irrationally and not have a conversation, on the other hand
cyber conversations force you to actually read and pay attention to try and win a battle you can't just
physically assert yourself.
I dance with the donkey's and run with the wolves, I see no evil hear only wind. The packs feast tonight on
the givings of the earth, oh not a day i dare say that it was a curse to be given birth.
I had such an awesome dream not too long ago. In one part I was in class at school and these people
came in to do a presentation in robes. And Alfonso Ribeiro (Carlton from Fresh Prince of Bel Air) and gave
me a hug. And i couldn't believe it! I was like can you sign this robe for me please!? And he was all happy
did it for me, and I was like starstruck, I kept saying I can't believe I got a signature from Alfonso Ribeiro on
a robe! ON A WHITE ROBE!! I had such an awesome dream not too long ago. In one part I was in class at

school and these people came in to do a presentation in robes. And Alfonso Ribeiro (Carlton from Fresh
Prince of Bel Air) and gave me a hug. And i couldn't believe it! I was like can you sign this robe for me
please!? And he was all happy did it for me, and I was like starstruck, I kept saying I can't believe I got a
signature from Alfonso Ribeiro on a robe! ON A WHITE ROBE!!
Be careful when searching for the meaning to life, the big mystery, for you might just find yourself feeling
that all is meaningless in the end.
I think, i think i just had the strangest conversation with a complete stranger in the span of 30 minutes with
the same name as me, and it ended in the coolest way a conversation that long could last, though in those
last moments i saw my exact utter opposite, shadow self, now seen & completely disconnected.
Everything good that becomes popular or is popular always meets the everlasting argument of politics.
Music, movies, sports, government, food, you name it, such a bummer
I realize a lot of my thinking is focused on realizing the roots of all thinking, to deconstruct the act of
thinking itself to it's primal form and realizing the infinite potential in every moment
Reality is a never ending trance track of vibration and we collectively create the builds & breakdowns of the
major moments in history
It's kind of an eery realization when u think about your brain and your face. That your face is really a dance
of muscle contractions, a puppet of contortions that your brain orchestrates to cast an illusion of what it
actually is. To communicate through a medium, this self, that it perceives to be.
Oh how a man may claim the knowledge of which he finds himself impenetrably fortified from the
uncertainties of the unknown.
One day, though I know days do not exist, there will be a time, though I know time does not exist. Where all
things, though I know there are no things, everything will be in tune with all that could ever be, though I
know there is nothing. All love will meet in the showdown vs hate, though I know there are no emotions,
and all that is wrong will be righted, though I know there is no difference.
If I had a choice, I'd remake the world in my image. But I know I'd miss out on all the subtleties that make
the pain and happiness worthwhile, my world would be beautiful, pleasureful, serene but without purpose.
So i really don't have a choice.
Question to the universe: Why is the wind always wailing me in the face and never at my back no matter
where I go?
I have had this idea for a long time now, I have witnessed observations of it over and over and a basic
overview is something like this. Everything you say, do & experience is simultaneously happening in some
form somewhere else, even your thoughts. When people discover new ideas you simultaneously do as
well, if you talk about Hitler someone else is talking about the same topic as well. When you randomly
quote a show, someone is watching it.
I think the biggest issue facing humanity beyond the obvious economic, medical, political and food supply
issues of the world is the unfulfilled of dreams because Life is out of our control. The greatest curse & boon
of humanity is being able to fantasize and dream and yet it can get out of hand because of our subjectivity.
It can make us bitter when we meet failure, destroy people on the way to being the leader, everything has
consequence and the dream detaches us from it's significance sometimes because of our mortality.
Well hey, we can't all be winners, and hey, we can't all get the girls, and hey, we might not all live with a
silver spoon, and hey, maybe there is no god, but maybe, the dream dreams of time without boundary, and
maybe, that time will set us free when freedom knows no time

Do the completely detached mentally ill go to heaven? And if they did, would they even know what's going
on or who they even are? Everyone has a path to lead my ass, we live in an explanation less world and
maybe it will always be so
Maybe the universe is an egg, and we are all going to merge conscious in a universal enlightenment born
as "god" into the next plane of existence
It's kind of interesting how to abdicate your position is to "Resign" or rather "Re-sign" as if you are renewing
your contract
Business has a lot of issues, though the idea and concept of it isn't bad at all. I think the greatest fatal flaw
of business is that it's something where so many people are thinking of a new business. So that every
square inch of what they can monetize becomes reality to the point where whatever can be fabricated into
a way to squeeze another dollar out of you they will or prey on the way you think about what you need or
don't. A good example is the outlaw of hemp so the rise of synthetics took full helm, hemp is too vast of a
substance to control, but plastics can be.
The only real functional freedom you can have is a world with rules. Ironic no? But it's important that you
have a framework of predictability, of a system you can grasp that is your reality, so while reality in a sense
imprisons you it's a fantastic jumping pad to anything you can imagine in this framework (this universe) so
long as you have the vigor to experience it.
The connections sync together at just the right moment, the cycle turns like the workings on a grandfather
clock. We move with a pulse, that pulse drums to the beat of the symphony of life, life drums to the beat of
infinity, and infinity drums to the beat of eternity
Had this crazy dream to put it shortly where I put coins in a circuit breaker looking arcade machine in a
retro restaurant that said keep out, inside was a locked box. The owner of the place got upset and I
explained that I thought it was part of the mystique of the place. He decides to open the box up and shows
me whats inside. Essays, and an old book, the size of a bible, maybe a bit wider that had all these great
thinkers, philosophers & writers throughout earths history, the entire human psychology rolled into one. I
realized this book was really important, and that I was being watched. I go to my car to hide it but some guy
rolls up looking for it I hand him a bible as we walk and talk but he doesnt want to play games. Somehow I
manage to overcome these people, and my dream becomes a 2 minute scene just showing bags of money
that I'm making. I had over 100 people sorting and bagging money, Im walking up and down escalators
stacked with bags of cash. I get a little depressed because I dont know how to spend it all! So i start telling
everyone, grab as much as you want! Everyone gets happy and starts grabbing cash. I wake up at this
point, check my phone, 11:11.
I want things to feel sometimes like an old film, with soft classic music playing, no speaking, England,
1700's, witnessing the utter horror and beauty of London, expressing the stark sadness of a noir-esque
period in human history and the quiet beauty of that un-worded beingness
One foot in the world and one foot in the dream where everything is exactly as it appears but nothing is as
it seems
Are you ready to order? Yea can I get some motivation with a side of clarity, throw in some passion for
something, a large cup of creativity and an unbreakable will, lightly toasted.
When you look at your life and how you feel you can't forget about your diet and the way you treat your
body. This is so overlooked it's incredible, if you are drinking sugary drinks, getting poor sleep, excess
caffeine, lack of exercise, eating high fat nutrionless meals (or just one or 2 out of many poor diet choices)
you are going to feel the effects. Your body is sensitive and has been use to, over generations and

generations with more natural foods. So realize this, respect this, act on it and you will notice the
difference.
In life evolution happens at a continual rate with whatever circumstances present but every once in a while
theres a chaotic ripple in the code of life, something unforeseen and unpredictable, this event is always
novel. That novel event is influenced by the surrounding circumstances of the event. Hence I pondered if
the Mayans are indeed correct and time is indeed accelerating the frequency of these unpredictable
spasms increase. These are undetermined points in the flow of time bending around conventional
conclusion and the confines of any program on any level. These novel spasms in time are leaps, leaps that
can reflect the surrounding influence of what the novel event would be by the consciousness surrounding it.
Tell me a story because I'd like to believe it. How humanity found its heart and gave it all to retrieve it. Once
found someone didn't try to deceive it, fragmenting into pieces leaving us little reason to welcome the
seasons as we burn slowly in the fires of the silver tongued demons
I remember I was in a beautiful abandoned mansion at night, I walk down the hallway and at the end are
large windows and a thunderstorm raging outside. It was beautiful, I stood in awe with my hands behind my
back, I began to dance to rhythm of the storm, and I realize as I began dancing the storm responded and
we were in sync, we were one.
I notice that I'm connected to all of you via mental telepathy, I hear your thoughts, know your feelings. You
do not understand because you cannot identify, so I sit, in my lonely ivory tower aware of the connections I
feel, the chatter in my brain of your unique experience. I'm with you all the time, and you perhaps, are with
me as well
My mind constellates with yours, I talk about a subject that somehow you experienced that day or do
regularly, and we'll say my isn't that strange while I say no, this happens all the time and yet you will still not
admit to it happening fully. So while I believe, coincidence rings in your mind, we will part and continue as if
nothing happening, having connected but being distant all over again
What a strange thing it is to wonder about whats outside all of whats possible. Like a dimensional barrier
that curbs my perception to be completely incapable of seeing the unknown, like witnessing a color never
before seen. It is this system, this matrix I find myself nestled in so tight, to be without it or to be separate
would render all things that I am completely non-existent.
This Era represents to me the beginnings of the death of god, at least, the outdated concepts of the
semantic gods envisioned over humanities history. Now it's our turn, scary as it is to fill that role with
continuous discovery & control over the human mind and genome. The gods are dead, long live the gods!
Every new abstraction in the culture of man becomes tomorrows subconscious mental normalcy
I hate that sentence, "Be thankful you have a job" while I agree on one level I disagree on a whole nother
level. In a lot of ways it's a passive acceptance of the fact inflation keeps rising and wages don't, and due to
the scarcity of jobs by interests who run our lives but don't truly care about our quality of life keeps us
holding these jobs gritting our teeth. Though I will say there is a distinct difference between being vocal
about the grind & pay:living quality ratio and lazy people, of which their are plenty. Even if you were to
throw China or 3rd world countries in my face as examples of how we live good, it only serves to show us
shit is way way fucked up in the world, not something from which to say our lives are fine, that's a bit of a
delusion
I hate it sometimes when I'm too aware of the reality of life because I turn into a bummer. Like when
someone says, you know the earth would be such a better place without humans, it would be so beautiful.
I'm like you know that most every creature is living in paranoia of death, painfully neurotically trying to get
laid, and killing each other on a crazy scale to stay alive right? It's flat-out war 24/7 with or without us

Mr. Mr. lend me your ear for I know the way to take to get out of here, Mrs Mrs. do not stop your kisses for
your soul isn't found in a pile of dirty dishes, Young one Young one nothing matters but today so soak up
the sun, Unborn Unborn there is no tear to weep no womb from which to be torn
As the sun awoke, parted from the clouds We all spoke aloud The same old chant Mouths flowing like
rivers Into the sea of potentiality
So I had this dream where I was staying at this guys house and he had all this experimentation equipment,
So I start fiddling around with it and then I find myself triggering a sequence of me moving through
universes fractaly through various layers, sort of like moving through a TV screen higher and higher. The
best way to describe what I saw was various detailed highly intelligent structures around fanned out
honeycomb structures that led to other universes on every layer but it always looked different, it was pretty
crazy.
Life for most of us is repetitive rationalizations that keep a highly unstable civilization together.
Their slovenous chattering lips portrayed a cacophony of triviality, redundant declarations of meaningless
achievements on the backdrop of their power games. A calling long forgotten, screams of sorrow quelled by
the entropy worshiping leeches, a dried oasis in the desert of the real, spoken from those who know and
who are known
Sometimes If I want it to happen I feel it won't because that's too predictable, I make quick opinions of
things in my mind only to elaborate all the grey area so as to not to be ignorant to myself, I think that we all
live in a hall of mirrors and all that is reflected is self, I fear the word eternity because I associate it with
being imprisoned indefinitely where death has no right to free us. All life is cyclic and winds like a spiral
eternally, opposites in the eternal dance, and I fear there is no way out
I know prayer gets a lot of hate, and while I have no religious affiliation of any sort really I still do it.
Something is grossly misunderstood about it, even if you believe there isn't anyone listening, you are at
least, and the level of communion you have with your soul can be very deep. It's like you get in touch with
your heart, how you truly feel, and I love visiting that place because I realize who I am more and more deep
down.
It's pretty interesting how a few hours ago I was having a relatively long conversation indirectly about the
butterfly effect with my mom, and then I start playing the secret world and choosing the Dragon faction
would be this epic cool mysterious introduction into that ideology that all chaotic systems are ordered and
that every little thing has a purpose, it's pretty neat
Most people's depression isn't that bad, but it's the repetition, the constant unchangingness of life and
thought, behavior, environment that drags you into the abyss of mediocrity, or worse a nightmare that eats
at you little by little every day. That's why people are so messed up and people don't understand why, with
such an opportune life, it's the endless repetition
It kills me when a genuinely informative documentary about something geographical or social gets taken off
of YouTube for copyright, BBC no less! What happened to sacrificing a smidgen of their enormous profits
for some free knowledge or free choice to publish in different areas
Non-local consciousness is the new frontier in psychology put forth in motion from the well known Carl
Jung, you will see more and more discoveries on the interconnectedness of mind-to-mind communication
and synchronistic vibrational resonance and the connections of conscious being connected to a larger over
mind or collective consciousness that influences our decisions and thoughts.
I hear people often describe us as Monkeys with an aware and self controlling consciousness, as if it was a
bad thing or a low totem kind of worthlessness. But what we really represent is the process of evolution

itself because all livings thing develop in a similar way and grow (as far as we know). Forget about what
"Monkey" means (the baggage, the brutishness and blah) to you and realize we are a creation of this vastly
intelligent cosmos, this "Monkey" if it keeps evolving has the potential to be something even more amazing
and trans-human and something so alien to itself. Shedding its skin time and time again to be something
wholly new each time. It has already demonstrated it's own breaking away of the animal self most
progressively in the past 200-300 years
Realize right now, that Time really doesn't exist. And you'll see, if you look at that deep enough that there
was never a before or after, past or future, it all happened in this moment. And secondly that you perceive
reality as moving according to time, this is a crucial thing to realize when you look at how structures of the
mind create a distinct reality, that things are "progressing", that this time feels different than this time, that
this reality will be different than that reality instead of the seamlessness of timelessness
There are 2 worlds of thought, those that see the errors in man's thinking, and dissatisfied, propose and
elaborate on ideas & concepts that appeals to the truth behind peoples Illusions, pride, egocentricness and
so forth in an effort to educate man. Then there are those who see those errors and say well this is how it
is, and work with the way things are to do what they want and live how they want to live. The key is to find
yourself with one foot in each world and know how to maintain integrity and be centered.
If you were declared the Dalai Lama around your birth, initiated soon after into a monastery. I think you
would be exactly like him, wiser than most could ever hope to be because you are the Dalai Lama, and he
simply tries to show you that.
Everyone talks about abortion, but nobody really talks about late life euthanasia. And I, without hesitation,
under proper & thorough discussion with the patient that this is indeed OK to perform on the patient,
support late life euthanasia to those in great pain, heavily medically disabled & the terminally ill.
So I started thinking about shamanism again which I haven't thought of in quite a spell. Invigorated by the
contemplations I started to hatch this idea, I thought about the role of ego death being a critical component
of tribal cultures that has been lost in many parts of the world and near destroyed. And I felt that it was
integral in keeping the integrity of the tribe alive by forcing one to realize the impermanence of self and the
realization of connection to the whole. Igniting our values with truth and raw insight into our own behavior
and life. Then I thought about how sick with ego our modern society is so I thought well, what do you do
when you can't sit everyone down and embark on a vision journey? Consciousness has a way of forcing
into light the unconscious, much like a schizophrenic episode, There must be some sort of collective break
down in consciousness, where the world would be forced through one giant ego death. To have a
revolution of the mind one by one just couldn't happen any other way. And I felt that's maybe what the end
times is, and all other religious ideation of that "final reckoning", since the experience cannot be manifested
inwardly it must be projected outwardly so all can relate to the experience. These would be experienced as
"real" when its actually a collective hallucination, This would break us down, humble us all, relinquish ego
and be reborn anew into the "kingdom of heaven". Maybe.
Something draws me in, something beyond the grounded everyday life I lead, calling me, reminding me of
the connection we had, that inexpressible feeling, that mysterious nether space of the unknown, that
something is not quite right in this world, that things aren't as they seem, like some ancient secret long
forgotten and a spell of slumber has been cast over our eyes, painting the world in a film of lies, I can never
shake that feeling, it's always there...calling....
Oh semantics, the true devil on this earth. You are a slave, and you know it, the idea of slavery conjures up
all sorts of negative attributes and yet these are crafted, created for slavery in truth, is the root of your
being. You are born into this human form, born into bondage, subject of pain, hunger, illness and all the
experiences of the human body both "good" and "bad". And until your death you will be a slave, to this
earth and its ways and then at that point, the ending to "you", will you possibly know true freedom

If you had to die right now and you had 2 options, Would you rather burn to death or freeze to death?
The mind wanders in a strange land, building his world like castles in the sand. Seriousness is taken as the
emotion of the day but finds slim solace in the freedom of play. So when I shake your hand and a smile
creeps on your face, is it the truth or the illusion you chase?
I feel this burden everyday, that something isn't right with the world, with the explanations of who we are,
what we think we are and how history actually happened. Conventional belief doesn't cut it because these
questions go way deeper and it feels like i'm thrashing against a wall that seems impossible to overcome,
and I wonder if I even want to know what's on the other side, what the deeper darker reality may be, or if it
will truly, set me free.
Sometimes all is in its place and sometimes my thoughts race, teetering on the edge, thinking about my
death bed, born into bondage until its time, to be back in the sea and leave it all behind
Often negative emotions are suppressed as we don't want to be a part of them, so we try to stay apart from
them. Feelings of sadness, pain, anger, grief. We need to stop doing this, as this only lays the foundation
for disagreeable outcomes. We need to feel our feelings, by suppressing these feelings, of course they DO
NOT go away. They are still there, subconsciously, manifesting blocked energy with-in, and if these blocks
aren't removed, this can go on to physical imbalances, with-out. On top of this, by blocking these so called
negative feelings, this can result in losing the quality of being able to feel at all, losing much of life's joy.
Becoming dead to the world.
Patiently, i wait, silence of the night envelopes me until I am one with the shadows. No moonlight, no stars,
no passing trains, no cars. Patiently, I rest, calm and perfect, no light can stain it, nothing more pure than
this inescapably, present, void.
If it were a choice I'd make it, if I had the chance I'd take. For now I wander finding where the commotion is,
making splashes here and there beckoning for life to give
Me and you, this moment now holds everything the past has breathed forward and drinking the air of
dreams we exhale the timeless symphony of eternity
Tame thine soul to hear the echoes in the silence, the yearning self may finally make its home
Our entire life is lived on the backdrop of death, not in the wake of a paranoia but at the final ascent of
everything we call ourselves. It is always there pulling the strings of our self willed destinies, it shines
brighter than any star, and is the only thing in this reality that is our shepherd because it is infallible, wholly
one with us, guaranteed.
Oh wandering moon, minstrel of the night, I wax and wane poetically about my plight and yet you only
silently observe. Opposites in our behavior yet very much the same. Maybe we are not so different you and
I, deep down
Man I was outside Jannus concert hall, its a crazy place where they turned a whole large middle portion of
a block into a concert hall bar thing with no roof and peoples apartments surround it. Anyways I was trying
to see who's playing and security brought out this girl next to me, knocked out, people crying, she was
turning blue I was just stunned. Death is crazy man, its this whole other mind state when you see it possibly
happening before you
You can find my soul chattering in the breath of every man & woman who has forgotten to think
We dance in this world like wild flames being dimmed and stamped as well as stoked and raised. The true
magic is when these embers come together and become one in the bonfire of eternity, shining brighter than
we could have dreamed, could have even imagined.

I dreamt I was with my family And we were talking, at one point I go into my old room and begin to paint this
nice big tree with several birds on it. I focused on one bird and drew its mouth open with breath and
musical notes coming out only to have someone come in complaining I have to clean dishes (My work is
being a dishwasher), I sigh. I know I know, I know I can't be free.
I had it all, the spiritual light in a crystal ball, I walked lands far off as I learned to walk no longer a crawl.
The light dimmed and the night came, each and everyday just seems the same, no sun no life no rain, can
seem to assuage this pain
My future is always this shadow of intensity I can't seem to shake. I know theres something going on,
something come down the pipeline, I felt it for a long time. Something strange, almost alien yet so familiar,
it's always in the back of my mind, always bringing me back to that place, those questions, those things I
am dying to explore and know yet am too afraid to let go and possibly lose my mind in the process
My past is this light of calmness I can easily set aside. I'm unaware of what's truly happened, experiences
that came from nowhere, lies of my memories of things I've never felt. Something comforting, completely
connected and yet so distant, It's always on the fore of my mind, always taking me away from that place,
those questions, those things I have no interest in exploring and knowing and I am quite content to
embrace it, and possibly gain release in the process.
I found myself getting really angry and frustrated about everything, until I started saying fuck everything.
Fuck astrology, fuck religion, any thought Idea and concept whatsoever, every kind of framework I just said
I'm not going to believe in it. And i felt such a great release, Just accepting that this is all just a ride, just a
dream and to not take it seriously. And now i'm cool as a cucumber, i'm going to reinforce that every waking
moment of my life from now on. Nothing rules me, there is nothing to rule.
I had a chat with some barber lady I went to and we wound up talking about how cycles repeat and today is
a lot like the roman empire, it was pretty interesting.
We are all participating in the game of life with multi-layered script that has choices, many choices should
we choose to think before we speak. But the choice always has a future conclusion thats still part of a
script because the script is limitless. We are only able to see, understand and communicate that which we
comprehend which contributes to the spreading nature of the karmic tree. Every choice plants the seed of a
future happenstance in time with a script that we are always in connection with.
There was no illusions here, everybody knew the game and it spoke to me, like a poet enacting the most
bombastic imagery with fluidity.
So the 2nd time in a row i'm on a greyhound bus I sat next to a schizophrenic. First time the guy was going
to Orlando because the TV told him a chick from HSN was in love with him, this time this woman was
talking out loud towards the window. So i just payed attention and wrote up a case study on her for 3 hours,
I dissected it all, I don't feel comfortable making a diagnosis but it was interesting to glimpse into the nature
of why she is this way and the nature of how it became this way. Learned more about her life than I
probably know about any co-worker I ever had.
I find one of the strangest things about the mind is that it clearly has a feedback voice built in. Like when
things go horribly wrong your mind will inject all sorts of worries, fears and convince you so persuasively on
them being true. Or on the reverse, something supportive or assisting. It's also so heavily tied to the
predictive nature of the mind, a mind that's always trying to stay one step ahead. Trying to beat you to what
you will eventually experience, an odd thing.
All levels of reality are a game. All games have rules, systems, logic and dynamic tactics. From dating,
evolution, leading, fighting, communicating, everything is a game. The game can change, the game can

evolve, cheaters, exploiters, the more adapted, the more dynamic. We are forced into certain games while
we pick and choose others. We are all just players in the game of life.
I kind of realized while getting my cat food how cliches destroy so much. To the point where we won't do
the right thing sometimes because its cliche, or purposely not care, or ignore some valuable truths because
it reeks of cliche. Like Love, or caring for your environment or turning the other cheek or using positive
reinforcement. I see it all the time and we brush off these things because they feel stale and cliche, and it's
sad.
The one technique that I have learned to prolong a lucid dream, is if you notice you are slipping away back
to wakefulness become aware of your breathing. You can actually feel your waking self while dreaming,
slow your breathing down to avoid exciting the mind which will bring you back
On the altar of death the soul descends to the underworld, undergoing trials of purification and ultimately
meeting his true self. Sacrificing the masks he has worn, personas he's fulfilled, archetypes he has
merged, dying to himself....dying to his world. The shaman oversees and guides the neophyte into the
sacred mystery school of such teachings, teachings ancient as time itself. Connecting to the supreme spirit,
guardian of all creation, giver of all life, the singular dancing energy light realm of infinity. Touching truths
unfathomable, feeling emotions unfelt, seeing the impossible, merging with the unimaginable.
Had a really weird dream, where at one point i was channeling/controlling energy into 2 people to kill 2
people who were also being controlled/channeled by another individual who also killed someone. Then at
one point, I'm transported to my room and being thrown around the room by something, it felt really
ominous, like I should stop questioning what's really going on. And something from the matrix played in my
head, i woke up scared as hell. And when I woke up I had all these insights, like there is a whole nother
level of reality exerting its influence on this one in all sorts of ways, like chains of power that animate reality.
The mind which perceives reality is one and the same with the god mind. The will synonymous and matter
the mask, animated by the inseparable energy of the eternal spirit. In the void, the unborn soul arises and
is made manifest, suspended in a vast nothingness from which itself becomes aware through the channel
of the human mind. Awareness aware of itself. Unhindered by concepts arising from logos, uncontrollable,
chaotic, mysterious existence
Had a really intense dream last night, it was so intricate and was basically like a storyline/movie. From a
man warning me not to go through this area after dark, lest I be killed. Blamed for the murder of an incident
of robbery I was associated with, the ending was so powerful I could never forget. As I arrive home after
running from the scene and my younger brother is cute as hell, like 4 years old, and wants to show me
what food he's eating and something he made. All I wanted to do, knowing the cops were coming, was turn
back the clock, I start welling up with tears. As I knew, I threw this simple joy all away, for something I didnt
want, as I heard the cops outside. It was really really profound
I drift into higher mind, I see life stretching into replicating dimensions, mirroring itself in a myriad of forms.
Fractcaly perfect and constant, chaotic, relentless. To know is to be a slave, to be overwhelmed is to be
liberated
I remember I was like 8-10 years old and after lunch my french grandfather gave me a peach. I tried to take
a bite but it was very hard so I declined to it. No sooner than I put it down he just goes off about how he
lived through world war II and there was often nothing to eat, and how he would wait in line for a black
piece of bread that made you itch, and sometimes you wouldnt even get that. Let it be known, to eat every
damn hard peach (metaphorically) in your life and appreciate it
What a quandary, homo sapien risen from the ashes of a conflicted primal mind into the ever clutching,
gnawing relent of the whispering future. Crystallized parallel possibilities, choices embedded in the tapestry

of time, woven with care. The instability proves his uncertainty is his greatest asset, his only hope,
acceptance.
Suppose Enlightenment is a real experience/attainment. Try to imagine right now, experiencing that
connection to all and everything, realizing who you are, what you are, where all life has sprung and what
the "truth" is beyond all illusion. Try to imagine how life shattering that is, no safety net, It's a lot like death
in a sense. You confront something that is on such a vast scale of the unknown, bearer of the most
questions you can ask of it, reality itself.
The thunderous applause makes the coliseum walls shake, slaves meeting their doom in droves. Send
them in! Send them in! says the Headmaster, the starved Lions and Tigers waiting for their turn. Shackled
to this moment, heartbeats booming like cracking whips as they soldier out. Grasping breaths, pupils
dilated, this is it, this is your time.
Whenever I feel a bit depressed or have an episode of depression I use this track to access my shadow.
Have a fair amount of alcohol, be in a completely dark room where you will not be disturbed, quiet besides
the song (keep the volume fairly strong). Now begin the slow descent, deeper and deeper into your own
darkness. Let everything come out, every fear, doubt, worry, let it come out. Whether through inner poetry,
visualization, whatever your soul will take form. Be forewarned, It can be scary, even uncontrollable, take it
serious and you will go deep.
The dance, sweet is the embers, touching my tongue. Like the velvety smooth rose between my fingertips,
intoxicating aroma, a vulture in the night. Christened moon looming overhead, creatures of the night roam
the nocturne, and I among them but not of them.
Sometimes you gotta ask yourself the most important questions, and see them as you should, no matter
how inviting the fantasy is to dilute the inevitable pain.
The time you see your own soul may be an unpleasant experience, but do not close your eyes, do not turn
away. The force of truth will overwhelm you, and you will be cast into a realm of horrors. You must accept,
bringing the light into view and never forget, never forget, never forget, you are the master, you are the
way, know it, be it.
The viciousness of the mind makes the world blind, not a phase that goes away with time. Divisive rhymes,
investing in posing the question to the youth, shining white hot truth, to do away with a world so enamored
with an eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth
The tyrants wield their sling blades with the precision and grace of the samurais of yore. Dancing with the
rhyme of violence, lacerations emblazon the skies, prayers bleeding crimson red, Dios de la muerte rises
again.
The light of truth persuades me to go deeper and deeper still into my soul. As I reflect what I find, people
shine back like mirrors. All that is within me is in you, masks are what we use, costumes are our means,
and acting is our way.
Any thought you have, go to the root, Any concept you believe, go to the root, Any word you use, go to the
root, every perception you connect to, go to the root. There you will find nothing and in this nothing you find
release. There is nothing of ultimate, true value, of ultimate true truth. Nothing. Even when Neo took the red
pill, and learned the "truth" he eventually overcame the matrix and what the "real" world was, and stepped
outside the world of what truth belonged to.
Theres this salamander type creature that exists in Africa called a "Axolotl". It will normally lay eggs at the
bottom of a pond and these eggs will spawn more fish/salamander like creatures. BUT, if the pond say
dries up, they can go through a radical metamorphosis which enables them be land creatures. Where they

will then lay eggs on land and those will spawn more land-like salamander creatures!!! Isnt that freaking
insane!!!??
I realized in the strangest way, that words were implicitly created to express things to something or
someone else and not to your own self. It is an externalization of the internal, and it was really freaking
awkward to realize that pretty much my whole life I've been speaking internal monologues as if I am
speaking to someone else. And I realized it was impossible to escape because the whole of my language
was designed that way.
Theres that sinking feeling inside, that not all is right in my world. I wish I could change this predicament,
but it's outta my hands. We often talk about how we control everything, but we don't, sometimes nature
comes knocking. Maybe she'll free your soul and maybe she won't, maybe she'll dangle the possibility like
carrot at the end of a stick or it's opposite the nightmarish hells of a myriad of struggles. In these times I
think to what Cee-Lo once said "Who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are? Ha ha
ha, bless your soul, you really think you're in control?"
Time to time I do this self reflection thing where you write what you think you want to be, like several ideas
you toil around with. Explain in detail why you want to be this etc... It always ends the same way and it's
almost blatantly obvious but I try to not believe it. This time I did it listening to moonlit sonata, and when I
wittled it down again to the same answer, a shaman, the song stopped at 5:55.
There is no such thing as real or unreal, limited concepts of the human being to describe through symbolic
language his relationship between itself and that of which he experiences.
I remember this one time when I was like 9, I heard brutal screaming coming from the woods near my
house while I was in my bed. It scared me for like a solid hour (It was a dying deer). A month or so later I
was going through the woods, having forgotten about the deer, and found it's skeleton with the flesh nearly
all gone. For some reason i took the head and deep cleaned it, and kept it in my room for years. No one
really noticed, and I dunno why I did it. I wish I still had it.
I'd like to go back in time and see myself as a kid, as a ghost form maybe, just watch, all the various
periods in my mind id love to review, even the bad moments. And I'd like to see my family, and know who
they were more, I'd just like to be there, observing, witnessing it again.
Lets live and not constantly try to make a living. Modern medicine a wonder we could share, yet relegated
to the minority of the world. You exclaim communist! Socialist! I say let's go no economy, allow everyone to
live in a home for free, eat for free, so the most basic and essential things we can provide to everyone are
already satisfied. So we can move from a daily grind into giving time for people to evolve together. The
biggest constant burdens gone. Many of us make miracles just for the love of it, for the humanity of it, not
for the money.
Who the hell sells their soul to the Devil? You do realize it's the Devil yes? And all that Hellfire and
damnation, torture and whatnot for eternity sounds better than a lifetime of potential mediocrity? So you
can be in the sun for a short, transient time? That's egotism/stupidity on a whole other level
The road is long and illusions are great, deceit festers here cunning as the excess it takes. May the wind be
at your back, and your compass be in tune whether it be a full moon or high noon
Theres like a million sayings about how you should live your life to the fullest, money isnt important so
dont be a greedy materialist and blah, god is dead/Christianity is for idiots. But I kinda think theres a
certain beauty (to my eyes) to the characters who are on stage at this moment. Be a wall street debt
swapper, Priest, dictator, save lives, accept a bribe, become a ballet porn star, rip off accountants, train
tigers to take over the world, or all of the above. Desiring and being selfish or being free and joining
community, doesnt matter. I think we just can't accept reality, even the "Bad people" cant, it's just too hard.

I want to make a short film where like there's a group of people attending church, and it shows the choir
singing softly and everyone gathering. Then it would quickly switch to germs all over our bodies fighting
each other, and fighting to break into our bodies with like speed metal playing at the same time. Then it
would switch back to mass, people shaking hands, and then it would switch to the germs being traded via
handshake just destroying each other. Then someone at mass gets a little cut on their finger, a light "ouch",
then it shows like white blood cells just hammering all the invading germs back. Just to show the contrast of
a loving/merciful universe in contrast to it's horrendously hostile nature.
Possessed in the inebriated embrace of the sun, my body glows like a thousand stars colliding in
bombastic clashes of irreverent defiance of their own security. Interstellar speeds, breaking barriers of
sound and light, jumping from planet to planet, hop skip jump into the furthest reaches of the dark abyss.
In fantasy's illusiory grip, I slip, falling back on the dream. Familiar, but my soul unquenchable, searching
for the real.
Sun glows just above the horizon, dusk breaks into dawn. Whispering winds moving the ancient sands of
this desolate vista. My mind wanders, etched like an eagle, spread across the sky. The shaman dances
madly, singing of old heroics and legends. Our hearts beat with Gaia as waves of euphoria and sorrow
crash through my brain.
The nocturne enveloped souls by the thousands. No respite here. The night continued its descent into the
most lurid murky depths of the luciferous one. One by one they go, into the hold, slaughtered with reckless
abandon. Minions committing murderous rampages, mallets, cleavers, tortures, and castrations. No safety
here, no salvation here. The light burst like a dam and scorched the desolation with it's piercing glow. The 4
horsemen knee deep in rivers of blood watch as the angels of death descend. The people cry with life
affirming hope that damnation is not their destiny. The closer the angels come, their viciousness became all
the more apparent. The cleansing of the earth has begun. Red eyes and razor sharp teeth. Impaling the
human species, slitting throats, watching as the blood runs down their divinely engraved blades. The
screams rang and collided with one another, the smiles of evil in full rapture. There is no way out, there is
no salvation. Destroy the imperfects to begin anew, the genetic code stained and defiled. None so vile,
none so vile.
A game has certain set rules, boundaries, functions and behaviors that are placed upon the players. A
game can transport you from your normal everyday consciousness into a different world. Things affect you
differently, your values change, your motives, behaviors and even the possibility of cheating come into play.
Life is this, we all play a game, we are on some level forced into some of these games. Whether by culture,
biology or choice. The real magic, danger and beauty is to convince someone the game is real. War, wall
street, love, groups/clicks, family life. Each game you step into changes your behavior, how you see the
world, and what it actually is to. For if all you have is this moment, and that moment only, then the game
you play is your reality. The game you value will rule your mind, and, if you are forced into a game by
society (at least to some degree) you must find a way to survive in something that is nothing but a game.
The most important things in life arent things. This statement does not make sense whatsoever in a logical
perspective. It basically asserts something that it will devalue at the end of the sentence. There are no
important things because things are inherently not important, within the confines of 'Life". Or this universe's
set of laws and physics. Are we to assume that things are supposed to be material things, as this quote
proposes? When one says "It's funny how things are in life", refers to things as an immaterial consequence
of life as it stands. The saying, "Things couldn't get better" most often asserts the person's circumstance or
state of being as positive. So obviously "Things" are extremely important to an individual, at least in the
conventional human life born-into-this-culture standpoint. All in the pursuit of happiness and achieving
something, as the neo-american philosophy proclaims. Language is only fascinating as the abstract way a
brain can interpret it. One thing that separates us from the machines is our ability to analyze something and

reveal its underlying abstract meaning by pinging our mind's database for possible clues or answers. We
can see a whole different meaning by someones tone, body gestures, pronunciation and so forth. In this
case the writer assumes that we will interpret things as "The material"
Drawing back duality to the fore, exposing the system and it's mechanics, mathematically sound, abstractly
profound.
I think the most potentially sad thing is the disillusionment of thousands of years of belief. I though to
myself, imagine Christianity, Islam or both were flat out proven wrong and this was verifiable proven to its
believers at the same time and that there was in fact no god. Think of the sheer horror, all those priests,
monks and preachers who spent their lives searching, feeling the warmth within, praying. All the little
miracles they attributed to Allah or Jesus was just their own minds convincing them of this. That is
tremendously profound, all the countless men & women through history, all the little stories, the
pilgrimages, the stress and hopelessness, the faith and strength all were just an allegorical folly.
I remember I was in the perfect flow with reality, higher than the sky in Amsterdam. And I asked the
dictionary questions and I would always get the right answers, it was so surreal. I remember asking, Will I
ever the discover the truth about reality? I opened up to "Magic Mushrooms". I asked "If something major
happens in the world, what should I do? I opened up to "Fray", definition: Join the movement.

What a man thinks about himself and his life is the root behavior of everything he does outside of his primal
self. A man or woman is ruled in the modern age by the concepts that his/her language instills in
themselves. From the abstract concepts of mathematics, physics, philosophy to the awareness of life,
death, and the route of passage of time, a man will reflect on these ideas at some point in his life. This also
becomes a limit in itself, seeing as how any language will have it's constraints. It is inherently structured,
and within those limits will man find his own limits if he associates his reality too closely to his thoughts.
Thoughts in themselves are illusory but grant us access into a sub-reality which makes existence
something different. It gives rise to the hero, who in the pride of his nation defeats the great Dragon of
Gondor. Is the concept of power, control and wealth that motivates the dictator. It is the absence of morality
or of choosing a side when it comes to the mercenary. These choices, the thoughts we choose to accept or
reject, become the launching pad to our life. We act instinctively in situations based on our criteria of worth
& value. Do I cut a deal with police since I am now facing 20 years to life since I've been caught? Asks the
mafia man. My child is about to be hit by a car, do I value my life more than my childs to dive in and save
it?

The light that surrounds this wandering blue marble Shimmering with the grace of the heavens. Aimless in
its beauty Standing amidst the murk of sinful choice The light piercing through the veil of facade Blacksmith
and mason crafting unison Chattering mischievous creatures on the hillside Quiet footsteps watch in silent
view The light drawing and letting go Touches ones heart then fades away Witnessing the miracle of birth
Watching the savagery of barbaric men The light dimming As the priest makes his bed for the night The
night watch, gaze to the arching gates Making it's home, the moons eyeless crescent smile The light
flickering Grandfather time and his silent condolences A funeral home whisper, the coffins stale smell
Hopeless romanticism, awaiting the return of a beloved The lights departure Bleeding muskets, drenching
families in sorrow Thumbs down, Caeser on his throne The fallens' love letter, never reaching home
Shall time be always of such cruelty? When the sensibilities of man have been compromised? Corruption
du jour, turn the pages of history Alas, my efforts though valiant Prove ultimately futile The wise men are
merely entertained The reasons for selfishness, foolishly entrained Sigh, a task no man has ever overcome
Only shifting the momentum for a day, in lifes sun The wind blows an ill wind Echoing past ingression on
the vision of perfection A highly set bar, to which only saints can attest Uttering my piece, then laying my
soul to rest In but a glimpse of moment I will come and have gone A small footnote on the masterpiece of
time A hummingbird of thought and motion Then back into the abyss' vast ocean Thus when the reaper

draws near No tears will well from my eyes For even if man chooses to live with styes in his The realization
of how softly his dream dies, the body gives Echoes of brilliance must first reach the far corners of the earth
Before man is awaken by the thunderous vision that it births Genius is a rare commodity, some covet, and
others scorn Alienation in an unjust society, from the pulpit, his soul torn
I found myself reflecting about where I grew up last night. I decided I would map out my whole town and
both schools I went to piece by piece. It's amazing all the countless memories I completely forgot by doing
this. I also would remember dreams I've had in the past in whatever area it was experienced. I must have
remembered around 50 freaking dreams! Dreams from long ago, sometimes I could recall only snippets
and sometimes whole passages. Didn't expect that at all
When I heard the words "The worst mistake that you can make, is to think that you are alive" and the
person I was with said "that's so sad" and I was taken aback that she said that. I saw it as a saying that
meant you shouldn't ever think this experience is real, or take it too seriously, and that this is all just one
crazy ride in the strangest insane theater. That the idea of being alive almost has this baggage, a sense of
clinging, or of coveting. It's pretty fascinating how deep interpretation can go one way or another.
It's funny what a blip in time can do to you. I recently had a kid about 9 or 10 who was indecisive about
having a big cookie or a brownie, so I pulled out a quarter from the tip jar and said flip the coin for it. He
went right with it, flipped it and made his choice. And I thought, you know this is probably the first time this
kid has ever chosen to flip a coin ever. He may have seen it somewhere but now he's experienced it. And a
part of me may just be with him forever, like sayings your mother would say when you were younger, ring in
your ears time to time, or a fact someone said that comes up during a certain circumstance.
I have given you the tools to connect to me, to meld with me, to know me. So that you may see, as I see, if
you wish to see what it is I truly see.
This is how I see it. People are connected non-locally all throughout the planet. There is a certain pattern of
people you are connected to. In that pattern you will grow and advance like all the others in your pattern.
Simultaneous connections, simultaneous learning. It's like a mental internet, we are all connected, like
radio receivers sending out signals and receiving. There is no lag, it's all instantaneous.
At the risk of being redundant, I restate support of my re-iteration of why we should assist the act of
repetition to further concretize the notion of careful risk assessment
The light, it burns, the music plays soft, and the feeling is surreal. Somewhere, out there, in the abyss,
where odd and looney, run adrift. Somewhere, out there, in that place, good nor bad, strangeness
envelopes me so.
It's funny, normally someone my age looks up to people that have had success through their ambitions.
And while I do have some of those, sometimes I'll see like an old grandfather, or a really well rounded
father and I can't help but be, in a way envious of their comforting normalcy. I can't even imagine being so
sort of, accepting of reality, very optimistically here & now, cheerful, stable. Maybe in time
You know I just used the word "Polaric" in my writing to describe two things and their differences being
polarized. It doesn't exist and i'm like well...shit..then I thought, well Shakespeare made up thousands of
words so, here it is, Polaric, you may use it.
So I was listen to "Violenza Domestica" by Mr. Bungle at work and these ladies came into order some
desserts. And I asked where they were coming from, and they said they were at CASA, a place thaI guess
fights against domestic violence. What an odd connection. They get here towards the beginning of the song
and leave by the end

You'd be amazed how easily strangers will engage in unique conversations. Why just the other day me and
2 other women at bright house wound up singing "Loving you, is easy cause your beautiful" by Minnie
Riperton. This is why i still believe in humanity.
Culture is your god, but your god is indifferent your pleas. You see the truth, but only the truth of today.
Today is all you have, so play the game, take all you can grab, take the throne with fame. Till the sun burns
out, and the moon grows cold, then the night watch will take hold, and make you whole.
How strange then it is for man to desire his own undoing. His mortality and suffering his catalyst and guide
to rid of ignorance once and for all, yet his ignorance seemingly is his friend, his ability to dare to explain it
all in another way. The friend that creates the summit in the distance, the friend that sings a lullaby to your
tears rather than a lecture of your predicament. The answers only destroy the fountain of creativity, the
daring of portraying a new perspective becomes silly, a waste of effort, for he knows already the reality of it
all, and it is all damning to his curiosity to try another brush stroke on ones own masterpiece.
I had an absolutely awful dream where I was in a cult, and they took over my life. There was a member
who tried to get me out and tell me what was going on, but they moved me away from him. Total despair,
they were coming on to me sexually and I felt so trapped. I ran so fast, liberating really, i was chased by
someone who was even faster. So I did like a turn around double kick right into his thighs and whooped him
down. I ran home only to find my key wouldnt work, and I knew there was nothing that could save me
Tis a feeling within one's perceived soul, deaths breath lightly on your neck until the wrinkles begin to show,
feeling age's indifferent shadow, fearing the 3rd act, of this perhaps meaningless show. Regrets?
Misgivings? Completion or the anticipation of divine salvation. Death carries no baggage, death doesn't
give time for you to manage, It perches itself always within distance of every being, never leaving like a
mentoring guide, reminding you day in and day out, that you will die.
The eyes of god were bestowed among the greedy men. The ecstasy was boundless, until they came to
terms with what they were. Burning for endless time in their own impossibility, forms from the formless, and
the innocence of love forever gated, the treasure of the ignorant.
I'm aware that I see my existence as a stranger in a strange land. I may get distracted for a time, but when
alone once more, back in my inner space, I return to the waters of the wild

I realize now, that it's very hard to give someone advice on how to change their life for the better. There are
so many smaller elements that all matter so much. I think the one thing I learned so far overall is though is,
get back to basics. Fix what's wrong with your body and your immediate environment and then work on the
rest. Without a strong healthy foundation, being well rested and working with proper nutrition It's impossible
to properly fight the already uphill battle
Had a wild dream where several people and I make our way to this horse farm, and we get in through the
gate, and then I see this massive ancient tree. Humongous, a large rocky hill leading up to. It has horses
and cats diving around. Until one of the horses started talking, the horse then merged with the tree and was
answering my questions about how old it was and all of this. What the hell does 724 version. 10 mean in
terms of age? Intense man. Had a wild dream where several people and I make our way to this horse farm,
and we get in through the gate, and then I see this massive ancient tree. Humongous, a large rocky hill
leading up to. It has horses and cats diving around. Until one of the horses started talking, the horse then
merged with the tree and was answering my questions about how old it was and all of this. What the hell
does 724 version. 10 mean in terms of age? Intense man.
I just thought about sweet old ladies that you meet Time to time. And I thought, Have I ever seen a young
woman who acted like a sweet old lady? No, you can only get that through years of mistakes, learning,
experiences, reflection and acceptance. It's truly remarkable.

"The universe" is the new god

Perhaps this is death, perhaps...death is our gateway to a certain peace, beyond the summit and beyond
the peak. A laying down of all arms, the treatise to the endless war. Death, seen as the great and horrible
end to the journey perhaps is the true deity of salvation. Our eyes, stained over the years, fall far from the
grounds of true being. That it is not the dance of life that is the essence of truth, but deaths impartial
embrace that brings all things to focus. All things once separate in mind, intellect and physicality become
equal in their pursuit, their place, eternal justice for all.
Swallow the dream, making its home inside of me. Like a distress beacon it beckons me, reminds me,
shows me. I cannot see what it wants to show me. For I am not free, like the wild horse I once use to be, I
am only me, imprisoned, waiting to be cast back out to sea
Ill meet you in the spring of my discontent. There we will map out the cosmos, and where the heart lies, we
shall ride. Ride on, ride until the blisters in our brains burst into endless embers of feeling, a feeling we
can't shake, no matter how far from home we are.
I'm thankful there was at least one thing in my life that I could dedicate my days and hours to and feel
completely fulfilled, that being astrology. It was an interesting phase in my life, full of discovery, even
though I've long denounced the practice. For a brief time though, I was a scholar of the craft, when I had
the patience and determination to really learn.
What never ceases to amazes me is the world view of people all throughout history, and in pockets of the
world today. Historically, we have just realized that the earth is round and that the earth revolves around the
sun and the "heavens" are actually a vast radiant universe bound to the same laws of reality we
experience. For ages we viewed the world purely spiritually or grasping at straws with science in such
infancy. If you were to live in an isolated amazonian tribe right now at this moment in time. Chances are
your view of reality is overwhelmingly mythic and incredibly imaginative. You are surrounded by a peculiar
world, with all sorts of creatures and critters. You revere the great ball of light in the sky, you perform rituals
to appease the spirits of the forest and waters. The world is magical, in a way that the modern world has no
true way of knowing. It's a completely different state of mind, one that doesn't know modern discovery. That
truly fascinates me
It's interesting, I always think of the same things when I watch anime films. I look at these often cyber punk
worlds and think, these must exist. In this vast, radiant universe, I feel we almost connect to all worlds
through our minds. We can pen them to paper and witness them vicariously through various mediums,
even in our own imagination. Reality is infinite, and so the worlds must be infinitely different, yet on some
level similar. The modalities of society, individuals, a method of progression and evolution are all seemingly
inherent for life. There doesn't seem to be any other way for what we consider "living" things to behave
otherwise. Theres always a stratum, a system with which all things move under.
I get so jealous of people who can stay focused on the real world, I even admire someones worldly
depression. What makes me depressed is constantly analyzing existence, I see people only as monkeys,
bio-chemical machines in a mathematical quantum world. It's super hard because I just want to bathe in the
illusion, have fun, keep things simple. I guess I need to start meditating again or something idk
Every once in a while I have a dream that is so much better than my real life that I can't help but smile. I
killed King Cyrus, OK? I shouted to the masses that he was dead and heard the deafening roars of praise
and cheers. And I saved a young boy from a shark attack.
I find when I look at life I find it peculiar and strange and yet, I don't have any other point of reference to
what reality could be. I find that an intriguing perception, I can't even imagine truly anything beyond 3D
forms and geometry, symbols, language etc... and yet Im not comfortable enough in my every day to think
that this is all "normal". Odd

I am eternal and infinite in every aspect, I have no beginning and no end. I am uncreated and unborn, yet I
am conscious, and aware. I have no way to escape this constant awareness. So I individuate into this
infinite tremendum of reality that I can create. I split myself into a cohesive reality to experience something
other than the horror of being utterly alone for eternity.
Past the house of old memories you will find a woman who's blind. Afraid to live, afraid to die, she walks
across the river and into the dream. In the dream there are no walls, there are no hills, only the sound of
her eyes touching everything she sees
I revel in my dreams, of drinking the sweet nectar of the gods. Supreme knowledge dribbling down my chin,
gorging on the fountain of eternity. Yet, a pang of fear consumes me, every time I reach that sacred space
in my mind. What does a mortal man do with the secrets of reality unlocked? When the bolted doors of
years of human anguish and searching are unhinged, and the light burns our eyes, the vastness of time
and space unadulterated by the ever manipulative hands of men, is laid naked, for all to see. What then I
ask? What then?
When the shadow of my discontent fades like a rider in the night. Then the swell of my heart will
boundlessly envelope me in warm reveries of fantasies dreamt yet rarely lived
Death has 3 faces for me, with infinite layers of subtleties and sub possibilities. The tangible, a relatable
experience to the human form, meaning a heaven, contact with entities, life flashing before your eyes and
so on. Then theres the intangible, the self being an illusion, returning to the one, realizing the dream self is
an illusion of separation. And lastly, nothing, the black abyss of the void. The first 2 have many levels, the
last obviously does not.
When I look up into the night, I see parallel realities vast with possibilities and depth incalculable. As small
as I am, I am always relative in greatness.
I sometimes try to think of the world with old eyes. Eyes from an earlier era, when science hadn't mapped
out so many things on our planet. The world was purely magical, the thunder and the rain terrifying
cacophanies, strange creatures inhabited the forest, the great ball of light/heat emanated from the sky. And
the milky way radiating every time the sun went to sleep. It's still holds this beauty, but not that magical
mystery.
God lets the unstable go mad, God lets the slaves tend to their fields and God let the masses die in the
fires of the furnace, wars that never cease. There is no god, only the image of purity exists but it does not
force you to embrace it, it only hopes you join hand in hand from afar
Seeing some young kid in my neighborhood have cancer is one of the saddest things I've witnessed in a
good while. Really makes you think about your life and on the one hand how small most of your problems
are, and also how cruel this world can truly be.
Twisting and turning ever so in this great hour of our discontent. Juxtaposed desires clash with fervent
energies expending our sense of reason and assuredness. The great divine image toppled like the roman
era of yore, groundless tyrants masquerading as heralds of the new era. Beseech the unclouded and
realized, faceless with no defining features. For it is the wisdom of formlessness whose clarity is perfection.
A perfection which renders our convictions a passing torrent, temporary passions struggling to survive
amongst competing ignorance.
The sands of time descend my hourglass in curiosity. Through the chaotic spinning of countless atoms
comes a reality fleshed out from the ether. Theatrically we display our lust for life and lament the beckoning
call of death. Teetering on the edge of insanity sense is challenged, from those who conserve the novel and
those who birth it.

Someone told me once, when you're in America and you see someone who has more than you, you can
say to yourself "I don't have that, yet" but in third world countries people see that same thing and say "I can
never have that". Powerful words
I just read a bottle of Vitamin C that was touting the immune system benefits of the product and then it says
something along the lines of "These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA". And i thought to
myself, when the hell is the FDA going to evaluate Vitamin C?!
And when the rains fall I will greet it with a wide open smile, crying the tears of yesterdays dreams and
gently singing a hymn of wonder at the delights of this peculiar world. Dancing softly between the echoes of
these old walls, Im alight with the vibrancy of the cities travelers and native folk alike, sharing their lives
with one another in harmony.
I feel like, I see from a nihilist/serial killers eyes, that might sound weird but hear me out. I have so much
compassion for the world and each plight of each human soul within, but I also see the pointless, transient,
wasteful, wretched, meaningless side of each soul that exists. Does that make sense? Your life, which
means so much to you, is 1 out of nearly 8 billion currently living, not counting the once lived and now
deceased. You are nothing but a blip on the time line of life. Nature is brutal and harsh and your death
could inevitably be/will be completely unforgiving, without remorse, so what makes you think that your
life/afterlife is even remotely important or protected under a higher power?
Beginnings never last, all must come to pass. Wayward is the free soul, where times madness takes no toll.
Solace in the silent dance, where the end is but a momentary romance
Strange memory. I remember I was at this carnival in danbury, really really high. We went on one of those
tilt-o-whirl rides where you lay with your back against the wall and it spins. And I have never experienced
that sense of peace and bliss in all of my life, completely clear minded, mesmerized. I felt completely
connected to the universe in the most harmonious way. I had finally understood why the sufis' dance and
spin as a form of meditation.
Halloween was invented by the government to lure you into such an awesome holiday all throughout
growing up, making it awkward to do it when you get into your 20's forcing you to have kids so you can trick
or treat again to increase the population and feed this consumerist, money mongering society. (Joke)
Random Thought. I don't necessarily believe it, but I entertained it. Everybody has a pattern associated
with every activity, action and behavior. This is unique to every individual. It is a waveform of potential. Your
rate of success and failure, decision making and timing, is determined by these patterns. When it happens,
how it happens, why it happens is precipitated by an outpouring of an inner pattern associated with your
unique soul. This is the basis of what we would call natural talent. This is could potentially explain why
someone can never overcome certain roadblocks that seem to repeat over and over again. And why you
can have the ability to reach the greatest height out of anyone for certain things. This also would explain
the old saying "Everyone has a gift, you just have to find it", you find your strongest wave form pattern that
allows you to succeed at that given thing because it's your unique soul potential.
When the wings of power have taken flight, like vultures they lie in wait, circling in the heavens above.
From the ground, we cannot see, for the suns light blinds our eyes. Yet he who casts his gaze upon the
waters and witnesses the reflection, sees.
The most challenging thing about some of my contemplations is that there are clear IDK how I'm to
supposed to capture the exact points moments. For instance, I spent the last hour analyzing the origins of
language and the first moments of self awareness. It challenged me to no end because what is instinct?
and what is self awareness? What is the absolute most basic, initial form of self awareness to have ever
sprung up in the hominid? And is instinct on some level indistinct from awareness. So you mentally have to
deconstruct your own self awareness all the way to its roots. To the point where you almost get lost
because you are looking for the root of a massively technical beast of a concept. Secondly, when factoring

language development through the use of vocal chords, one must ask how did the vocal chord develop in
the first place? Even more important when assessing the origin of language is WHEN did the vocal chords
be used to communicate? Before or after more primitive or possibly advanced forms of communication?
The process of evolving as a human is a complex one. Death is as matter of fact as is how gravity affects
us on this planet. Life constantly displays the fleeting nature of it all. All things must come to pass, nothing
lasts forever. If you reflect on that long enough, you see a larger reason for it. The infinite and eternal
nature of novelty, that is to say, new and ever changing circumstances of reality, is expertly crafted. It holds
no favorites, it holds no prejudice, it simply is. A dance of possibilities in a theatrical show that has no
reason. When one asks why, one must ask why not. If one believes in the dualistic nature of life, which in
its essence causes movement, causes disconnection and connection so that life may continue to change, it
is exactly as it should be. Our attempts to fight it, deny it, only fuel the flames of change. Theres nothing
we can do but keep it going, with every thing you do in your life, you keep it going through your butterfly
effect. Which leads to the question of escaping this predicament. Is it possible? That's contained in some
off the oldest religions. And if you grasp what I just wrote to you, you realize you are participating in a
timeless back and forth. The churning of the eternal waters. And, to some, it is possible to overcome,
integrate and move beyond this constant ebb and flow, oppositions, picking sides, the fore of duality. But
that's the final step, in some eyes, this moving beyond duality into the truth.
Sometimes we can have long running expectations or desires, thoughts of a future "milestone" but we find
when we get there that it is nothing like our fantasy was of it to be. When Im (fill in the blank) Ill be happy
or this that and the other thing. External validation, an external representation of our self worth and value. I
fear not death at all, "there is no reason for it, you have to go sometime" - pink Floyd. I think people fear the
unknown and uncertainty more than death. They want to feel acknowledged, taken care of, understood by
something bigger than themselves when crossing that great divide. Beyond their perceived sins,
trespasses, regrets and mistakes. The unknown is what drives most human action an ambition, the power
of youth but it can also be our greatest fear.

Time to Play
MADISON BERNARDTUESDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2016

The true root of all reality, is beyond space and time. It is a realm that is an unborn,
unformed nothingness from which all things spring from. If you have ever watched the
episode of sponge bob where Squidward uses a time machine and eventually reaches that
"white realm", then you will have a loose understanding of what I mean. Reality, all of life, is
an illusion. All words used to define what I'm saying only seek to conceptualize, categorize,
minimize this infinite capacity of it to create so pardon me using "words" at all to describe this
to you. Reality, all possible time and space, exists and does not exist simultaneously. Man and
spirits, beings of the astral plane, are mediators of that realm. Though our current form may
deceive us, everyone is a mediator. Every thought, every imagining, is a prayer, the desire to
see that perception, belief, desire to be manifest and thus all is shaped from this realm first,
then brought into 3D illusion. Magic is the realization of this truth, that you are in a dream
state, this is all an illusion and you must dream your reality into existence with each prayer.
The question being posed by existence is choice, the more your awareness of this infinite
nothing realm, the more your choices reflect the desire to create, to make, to play the game, to
want and demand. Ask and ye shall receive. Fear, self denial, binding concepts such as Karma,

entrusting your own power to spirits, makes you a slave and puts you in debt to these things,
thus your idea of sacrifice is in itself self imposed limitation to your "god-self". Examine
everyone of your ideas about reality, they can serve to hinder or enable your freedom, for they
are prayers and they will control your dream. Free. Your. Mind. Time to play the game.

Enlightenment
MADISON BERNARDTUESDAY, DECEMBER 27, 2016

Enlightenment, if it even exists, would not be exclusive or reductive in any way when it
comes to its true nature. The perception of spirituality is often confused or misunderstood
from this perspective. There is always a separation of the true nature of things and our own
human perceptions of those things. The goal of a fully realized self is to reach greater levels of
awareness in the direction of seeing things as they truly are and ultimately become aware of it
without aversion or labeling. The mind, through language, cultural/social constructions and
its exposure to higher knowledge through law, ethics, morality and so forth is confronted with
a framework with which to perceive the world. These constructions of the mind bring forth
creative ways to perceive the nature of things. This striving was born from a deeper need
within the human self to better understand the world around them for all sorts of ends from
transcending our relative isolation through language to coming to a greater realization of what
life really is. These constructs have created a dichotomy to which man is the measure of all
things. All of these concepts and constructs are based in the relationship with man and nature
coming through greater awareness. From the days of small tribes to current modern
civilizations the level of reflection on what life is has only grown more complex in certain
aspects, in science we see this best. Yet we are always confronted with major constants in our
lives that under-run all of existence. We are aware that life exists and that life is always
changing. Take the life cycle of a human being, regardless of the conditions of his life cycle one
will always be subjected to change. The form will develop from infancy into childhood,
adulthood, and ultimately death. This applies to all levels of reality for nothing remains
forever in the material world. Thought forms, institutions, ethics and on will always be subject
to change and do not remain forever. On one level a human will die and so with it his mind.
On a grander scale, a planet could go through an ice age and destroy all sentient life on its
surface or have its atmosphere disrupted so as sentient life could not continue. The nature of
life, as measured by man is fleeting and is always subject to change. Every civilization in
history had its own quirks and personalities, morality and ethics and so forth. Most if not all
of these civilizations were deeply rooted in religious or various traditions that greatly varied
from a regional to continental standpoint. Many have died off and new forms arose in their
place, whether through revolution or invasion. One things is for certain with all of this is that
they will come to pass and a new way to perceive civilization and society will arise. Science is
tremendously insightful into the mechanisms that run life but does not solve the human
dilemma of these intangible aspects of our reality, that is to say for example, the origins of
mathematics or the origins of morality or even life as a whole. What science has inherently
perfected though is the objective viewpoint of seeing life as it truly is in our experience rather
than the subjective viewpoint which is in a constant state of distortion when not fully realized.
Science isn't even a construct really, it is a matter of systematically confirming what really is
and is not in the material and quantum fields. So while science can offer us tremendous
insight into the workings of both the human mind and the world around us it does not
confront life in other areas. The subject of morality, law, ethics, philosophy and religion are
outside the scope of exact scientific understanding since they arise from the subjective

experience of the individual as well social and cultural ideologies. The nature of all that is,
once again is not reductive or exclusive, it contains both the objective side of science and the
subjective side of the individual and sentient life. Thus both are on a constant ever changing
path of greater discovery, paradoxes and walls of logic. For science, a good example is black
holes where at the center of one is what has been termed a singularity, where the ordinary
rules and laws of physics break down into a point of infinite gravity into an infinitely small
space. For the subjective individual, the concept of infinity cannot be visualized or conceived
as you would experience a basketball for instance in a baseline state of consciousness. Nor can
an individual substantiate the actual existence of mathematics or law as something tangible.
At this point one can deduce that mans ability to be aware of life as it truly is is constantly
constrained by the system with which it is born into. The limits of language, the ever changing
nature of life, physics, the intangible aspects of our experience that rule our lives. Whether we
agree with them or not, any thought or experience had is constrained by the human aspect of
our experience. Enlightenment comes from something trans-human , meaning that which is
beyond the boundaries of human constraint. Life as it really is, is everything that is but it is
never just one separated thing. Meaning that is no thing that can be reduced or exclude any of
its parts. The nature of the human mind on a material level is driven by language and thus
man is the architect of the world as seen within its own limited mind and senses. The vehicle
of our lives, our human body in all of its aspects, is simply measuring reality in relation to
itself. So it is evident that the truth of reality cannot be seen through a limited baseline human
consciousness. It can be glimpsed, in pieces, but the pieces never encompass the whole and
thus a human will always be in a state of ignorance and any insight gained is ultimately
illusory until observing the whole of reality is obtained. When the human transcends itself
into the trans-human or a state of consciousness that experiences reality outside the limited
perception of the human form he will attain greater insight into life as it actually is. The
ultimate trans-human experience is enlightenment, when the state of consciousness of an
individual goes beyond the human perception and encompasses everything and witnesses all
that is as in one state of perception. This moment is the merging of all things into one unified
perception which is outside the limits of time and space, duality, and every measure man has
used to define the world in relation to itself. Infinity is perceived, outside the constraints of
the human minds incapability of experiencing it. Once again, it is not reductionist or
exclusive. It includes and IS the rapist and the saint, the scientific and the religious, the object
and subject and every aspect of what IS, is experienced. The true realization is that every level
and layer of reality is a separation of the one, as enlightenment has no level or layer, it
encompasses all levels and layers and the concept of levels and layers. There is no other in
the truest sense, it has only ever been one. In this state every aspect of human experience is
transcended and breaks down, any supposition as to what life actually is an abstraction. Even
writing this right now, only can give rise to the conceptual understanding of the truth but not
the truth itself. Until this state of transcendence is achieved, any assertion as to what life is
will always be a fragment of the whole and a distortion from the ultimate truth. The only way
to truly know anything that is beyond a relative truth is that moment of clarity,
enlightenment.