Family therapy

Family therapy and its basis relationship theory constitute a new outlook
rather than another method for psychotherapy. The new outlook originates as
much from a state of bankruptcy of the value base of traditional psychotherapy
as from the accumulating experience of therapists who work with whole
families as relational gestalts. The essence of family therapy itself lies in the
therapists commitment to all members of the family relationship system. In
the advocacy model of individual psychotherapy the offering of confidential
alliance to one family member implicitly denies the right for the other members
and their aspirations to be considered by the therapist, even when the patient
behaves in a
patently
exploitative
manner toward
the other.
The realization
that when close
relationships end,
they can
become
intermitently
mutually
exploitative,
leads the family
therapist to a
reciprocally
balanced
commitment,
based on
multidirectional partiality, empathizing with now one, then another family
member, according to the issue at hand. Rather than refusing to concern
himself with the members convictions about exploitation, the therapist should
welcome the family members active search for justice as a potentially good
prognostic sign. Not every family has a capacity for facing and working through
the difficult, value-laden implications of close relationships. This reorientation
toward the dynamics of balance versus imbalance in relationships radically
alters the values and goals of psychotherapy, whether members are treated
individually or conjointly.
fundamental implications for community mental health practices and a wide
variety of social functions. To mention only one example, law and court
functions obtain a thoroughly different meaning when viewed in the light of the
recently discovered, unconsciously collusive relational structures, instead of the
traditional individual based framework. Ultimately, relationship theory and
intergenerational family therapy will offer a renewed definition of both health
and prevention in the field of mental function.

The Effect of Family Roles on Lifes Choices

Roles are especially harmful in families where abuse and/or addiction occurs.
They become a vain attempt to control a situation that is chaotic and
frightening. Also, as John
Bradshaw explains in On
the Family, roles function
to project the image of the
happy family, preserving
denial that anything is
wrong.
Based on the work of
Virginia Satir, Claudia
Black and Sharon
Wegscheider, below are
the common roles that
children play in the family, as well as that roles impact on adult life.
The Hero
The hero is the responsible one. She gets good grades in school, is goal
oriented and self-disciplined. From the outside, she appears on top of her
game. Internally, however, she bears the burden of making the family look
good. She also believes that if she is perfect enough, the family problems will
go away.
SCAPEGOAT
The Scapegoat is the problem child or the trouble maker. He helps the
family by taking the focus off the families problems and pulling negative
attention onto himself. Scapegoats often hear things like, Everything would be
fine if you would just stay out of trouble.
LOST CHILD
The Lost Child is usually known as the quiet one or the dreamer. He stays
out of the way of problems and spends a lot of time alone. The purpose of
having a lost child in the family is similar to that of The Hero. Because The Lost
Child is rarely in trouble, the family can say, Hes a good kid. Everything
seems fine in his life, so things cant be too bad in the family.
MASCOT

The goal of the family mascot is to break the tension and lighten the mood with
humor or antics. He is usually the cute one. On the outside The Mascot may
look; funny, carefree, attention seeking, charming, light-hearted, dramatic,
lovable, needy, manipulative or immature.

Problem in the family

Many problems arise simply because family members fail to effectively

communicate with one another. Adults and children must learn how to calmly
and patiently explain their expectations and needs to other members of the
family. If every member of the family agrees to try to calmly express their
thoughts and feelings, a great deal of conflict can be avoided.
According to therapist Olivia Mellan, in an article released by MSN, money
represents dependency, freedom, and most importantly, control. As a result,
family disputes about money are rarely actually about money, but are about
power
Meddling or overly nosy relatives:
According to the Family Education Network, experiencing conflict over in-laws
and other relatives that frequently try to dictate
how a family should be run is a common problem
that many families face. In order to solve this
problem, it is important for both spouses to take
turns explaining how the situation makes them feel
Disputes over career direction:
Families may experience this problem in a variety of
ways. Some parents may try to dictate the career
path of their child, while other couples may find that
spouse attempts to control their partners choice of
career. This need to control a family member usually
comes from a persons desire to see the individual
succeed.

one

Disagreements on raising children:

Unfortunately, varying past experiences between a couple can cause each
person to have different opinions on how a child should be raised, which often
results in conflict. To get past these differences, both parents will need to look

past their own experiences and focus on the current situation. Focusing on the
situation at hand will help both parents see the all the
issues clearly and allow them to compromise on a
solution.

A child or teenager acting out:

When raising two or more children, arguments are bound to arise. Frequent
disputes and/or competitiveness among siblings tend to be a manifestation of
jealously. When handling these situations, parents must be careful to treat both
children fairly and avoid favoring one child. Unless the dispute is completely
one-sided, both children will need to be disciplined equally.
This can be a tricky dispute to navigate, as these problems usually arise from
one relative feeling taken advantage of or neglected. To diffuse the problem, let
relatives know the truth why the trip cant be made, whether it is due to a lack
of money or a scheduling problem, and listen to suggestions as to how to
rectify the situation.

Generally speaking, most children dont exactly

get excited about having to clean their room or
help out with the dishes. However these are
important duties that teach children a sense of
responsibility. If a child refuses to do certain
chores, calmly take away favored activities.
Children

Yelling, name-calling and acts of violence should

never be tolerated. Before these behaviors
worsen, children need to be disciplined and taught
to understand that their behavior is unacceptable.
If ignored, most children will begin to believe that
treating others with disrespect is a normal way to
react to unpleasant circumstances.