. FIRST ISSUE COLLECTOR’S ITEM! SS eS SI | Day/s Tae ba | AMAZING ABS USGREETINGS, COMICS FANS! Thanks for picking up this first, #1, premiere, inaugural, sure-to-be-a-collector’s-item issue of SIMPSONS COMICS! Now if you'll be so kind as to take this comic book up to the cashier, dig around in your pockets for some money, and actually purchase this thing before you get it all grubby and dog-eared, we can continue. This is not a library, you know. ‘What we're trying to do at the Bongo Comics Group is take our lifelong love of great comics and see if we can wade in with our own stuff -- putting out the best comic books we can, with good (deceptively simple) art and plenty of the laughs that seem so rare in comics these days. IF you're a fan of THE SIMPSONS TV show, we think you'll dig is comic, as well as BARTMAN, ITCHY & SCRATCHY, and RADIOACTIVE MAN — and all the other Simpsons-related and non-related comic books we have up our sleeves. ‘What we try to do with the TV show is quite unusual: We sneok in litle details for real fans (like you). That's why we change the opening credits with different couch gags every week, why we sneak in funny signs in the backgrounds, and why we stick in what we call freeze-frame jokes — secret in-jokes that you'll only get by hunting and searching a videotaped Simpsons episode with your remote control. We call this revolutionary concept in TV entertainment Rewarding You For Paying Attention. And now we're trying to do Reward You For Paying Attention to our comic books. So please pay attention! (And let us know if you dig your rewards.) Your pol, MATT GROENING Publisher ae eee ts “AWWA ZERLG e “QUO SS, TayWHOA! 263 POUNDS =~ A NEW RECORD! WAY TO GO, HOMER! HERE'S SOME NICE. FLUFFY TOWELS RIGHT OUT OF THE DRYER ~~ BART, WHAT ARE YOU BOING? TM READING THE SCALE FOR HOMER HE CAN’T SEE PAST HIS BELLY. ‘OH, HOMEY, YOU'VE BEEN ISNACKING AGAIN/ 1 ASKED YOU NOT TO EAT THOSE COOKIES IN THE COOKIE JAR TM SORRY, MARGE ~~ BUT JUST COULON’T RESIST THOSE LITTLE BOW TIES WITH THE THEY WEREN'T BOW Ties, REMEMBER, THEY WERE HOURGLASSES. NOW, ONLY ONE BAKED THEM FOR PATTY AND DONUT TODAY! SELMAS BIOLOGICAL CLOCKWATCHERS ANONYMOUS MEETING TONIGHT. BUT EVERYTHING AND THAT CLOUD IT’S NOT FAIR: REMINDS ME OF LOOKS LIKE A BUNCH DONUTS. THAT CLOUD | | oF GREAT BIG DONUTS! CMON, MANI EVEN LOOKS LIKE A GET A GRIP ON GREAT BIG DONUT! YOURSELF! YOU CAN DO IT. THE TRICK IS NOT To THINK ABOUT‘AH, SMITHERS ~~ IF ‘ONLY f POSSESED YoUR LITHE, YOUTHFUL \ ATHLETICISM, PERHAPS THE PACKAGE WAS. DEFECTIVE, Sik TLL GLADLY FIRE OFF A SCATHING LETTER TO THE MANUFACTURER =~ OR BETTER STILL, YOUR ATTORNEYS COULD SUE THEM INTO BANKRUPTCY. YOU ENOW, TWAS A RATHER VIRILE ‘SPECIMEN IN MY DAY 1 ONCE BESTED THE MIGHTY "MAN-MOUNTAINY MACKENZIE sSIGHE BUT LOOK AT ME NOW, SMITHERS ~ LOOK AT THEM DOWN THERE, SCURRYING ABOUT LIKE ANTS, BLISSFULLY UNAWARE OF THE DOOM THAT AWAITS US ALL. [ ASK YOU, SMITHERS ~~ IS T FAIR THAT {, THEIR TIRELESS BENEFACTOR, SHOULD SUFFER THE SAME PHYSICAL DETERIORATION AS THAT IGNORANT RABBLE? THERE'S ALWAYS PROJECT ¥ SIR | Rit RES. ALL THOSE YEARS, AND eee { THANK YOU, OLD FRIEND, BUT I'M AFRAID [T WOULD TAKE MORE THAN THE CASUAL RUINATION OF SOME INSIGNIFICANT OFFICE-SUPPLY MANUFACTURER TO. LIFT ME OUT OF MY DOLDRUMS. THAT TOO, THAT TOO! BUT MERE WEALTH, NO MATTER HOW OBSCENELY| OSTENTATIOUS, 'S NO SUBSTITUTE FOR PHYSICAL WELL-BEING. AS LONG ‘AS | AM BOUND BY THE CHAINS OF MORTALITY, WHAT FREEDOM CAN THERE BE IN RICHES? 3 | PROJECT Y! come, SMITHERS ~~ WHAT SAY WE DROP IN ON THE BOYS IN Rg D7SOON, NA SECRET ELEVATOR FAR UNDERGROUND, W PRovECT 9 -- wg VY YOUTH RAY. WHY, JUST SAYING THE NAME SENDS A SUBLIME THRILL COURSING THROUGH MY VEINS ‘COULD BE A BOON To HUMANITY, Siz BOON, SHMOON. DO YOU THINK 'VE POURED MILLIONS OF DOLLARS INTO THIS PROJECT SO THAT JOE SIX-PACK CAN HAVE AN EXTRA 50 YEARS TO WASTE SITTING ON HIS KEISTER READING COMIC Books? 1 DID IT FoR ME, SO | | AH, Da. OLBERMAN, THAT I MIGHT REGAIN HOW GOES THE THE VIGOR OF MY RESEARCH? LOST YOUTH. THEN YUL GIVE HUMANITY THE HELPING HAND CONSTRUCTION IT DESERVES =~ Is COMPLETE, SiR THE IRON FIST! - IT STIMULATES HORMONE PRODUCTION, INCREASING THE GROWTH OF NEW CELLS. THIS SHOULD ACTUALLY REVERSE THE AGING PROCESS. All. THAT REMAINS IS THE HUMAN TESTING. TESTING? NONSENSE! WHAT AML THE FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION? BEGIN MY TREATMENTS AT ONCE! VERY WELL, PROCEED WITH THE TESTINGTHATS EASY. WEL JUST USE ONE OF MY LOYAL EMPLOYEES DURING THE LAST CONTRACT NEGOTIATIONS, THE UNION GAVE ME THE RIGHT To PERFORM GA siotosica: EXPERIMENTS ON B\ THEM IN EXCHANGE FoR AN EXTRA FIVE~MINUTE COFFEE BREAK. I (E'S ST See who's IH ‘oats azouno The CN NEMPLovee LOUNGE. ad FIRST, WE MUST TABLE WHICH WILL BE THE ONE HMMM..NOT THAT ONE. DONUT THAT WILL SATISFY MAYBE THIS ONE WITH TVE SEEN ENOUGH 3SHUDDEREI HAVE BUT To FOCUS THE SEAM ON THE SUBJECT’S PRECISE LOCATION. NOTHING HAPPENED! Rf SeTHE NEXT MORNING. FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? THE WAY YOU WERE GRUNTING, I THOUGHT ‘YOU WERE HAVING A HEART ATTACK! YM FINE, MARGE =~ BUT THESE PANTS MUST'VE SHRUNK \N THE WASH. 3SIGHE 1 GUESS I/LL JUST HAVE TO GO BUY THE NEXT SIZE UP. YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING J TO WEAR TO WORK. i THO: BRAND NEW HAVEN’T EVEN WASHED THEM YET. AND THEY’R! BIGGER THAN YOUR OLD ONES. HOW MANY DONUTS DID YoU EAT YESTERDAY? HOMEY! Vm BACK WITH YOUR NEW PANTS!AND THIS wsT IW =>) WE'VE ALL HEARD OF CHILDREN WHO GET TOO 816 FOR THEIR BRITCHES ~~ BUT APPARENTLY IT CAN HAPPEN TO GROWN-UPS AS WELL A MRS, MARGE. SIMPSON RETURNED STILL-GROWING FROM BUYING HER MB. SIMPSON HUSBAND A NEW WAS LAST SEEN PAIR OF PANTS: HEADING FOR ONLY To FIND THAT DOWNTOWN HE HAD OUTGROWN, THE HOUSE, TOO, IF You Ever SELL ANOTHER POLICY TO THOSE SIMPSON WACKOS, YOU'RE FIRED! SAID MBS. SIMPSON, DID YOU HEAR THAT, “THANK HEAVENS FOR (//smiTHERs? HE’S BECOME! HIS SUPER-STRETCH A COLOSSUS! WHY, UNDERWEAR? THAT’S EVEN BETTER THAN BEING YOUNG! IMAGINE! CHARLES MONTGOMERY BURNS ~~ STANDING ASTRIDE THE GLOBE! THEY'LL NAME COUNTRIES AFTER ME! TLL BE LIKE THE YOLLY GREEN GIANT, ONLY NOT GREEN, AND NOT JOLLY/THERE'S YOUR FATHER NOW, MAGGIE. MAYBE HE THINKS: /S ON HIS WAY TO WORK HOMER! HOMER, waree) HOMER, PLEASE STOP!GREETINGS, MY FELLOW MOVIE LOVERS. WE ARE GATHERED TODAY TO HONOR A HOLLYWOOD LEGEND THE STAR OF SUCH FILMS AS JAGGED ATTRACTION" AND “LOOK WHO'S STILL OINKING! <= HIS 24 FILMS HAVE GROSSED A TOTAL OF OVER $300 IN SPRINGFIELD ALONE. 1 HEREBY DECLARE THIS "TROY MCCLURE DAY" TROY WILL NOW PLACE HIS FOOTPRINTS IN CEMENT ALONGSIDE SUCH SHOW BIZ IMMORTALS AS KRUSTY THE CLOWN AND GLADYS THE GROOVY MULE. GET THAT BIG PUNK’S NAME! NOBODY TRIES TO FIT DIAMOND JOE QUIMBY FOR A CEMENT OVERCOAT AND GETS AWAY WITH (TL AND THAT WAS THE SCENE AT THE SPRINGFIELD GOOGOLPLEX CINEMA, MAYOR QUIMBY HAS PUT THE POLICE ‘ON FULL ALERT, PROMISING TO DO “WHATEVER IT TAKES" TO PROTECT THE CITY FROM THIS MENACING BEHEMOTH!“MEANWHILE, THIS STORY, LIKE ITS SUBJECT, JUST KEEPS GETTING BIGGER, ‘AS JOURNALISTS FROM AROUND THE WORLD POUR INTO SPRINGFIELD. # ES TH HALLUCINATIONS ARE 6 REALISTIC EVERY DAY, . LOOKA THE SIZE OF THAT Guy! 1 BETTER LAY IN AN EXTRA, CASE OF DUFF!DARN HEAD: SWEAR I CAN ACTUALLY HEAR MY TEMPLES THROBBING. MAN, 1 BART, I APOLOGIZE, NEEDED THIS BREAK YOU MAY GO NOW, FULL POLICE MOBILIZATION (5 TOUGH! Neen ies oo PR cMae een PW ag ccs aa yj) (585 wescirt PREM 97, Pitesti) Pa a eal ra MN eng ecsauaL Ie cel tment TLL SAY. WE'VE L HAVEN'T SEEN A BEEN ROLLING NONSTOP SIGN OF THIS GUY. IF SINCE THE ORDER CAME YOU ASK ME, THERE'S DOWN. IT’S BEEN A NO SUCH THING AS HELLUVA 45 MINUTES. ‘A GIANT MA= AAAINEEECHIEF WIGGUM EXPRESSED REGRET THAT HIS MEN WERE UNABLE TO STOP THE GIANT CREATURE, BUT COMMENDED THEM For THEIR CLEVER CHOICE OF A STAKEOUT SITE JOINING ME NOW ARE TWO OF SPRINGFIELD’S LEADING HEALTH CARE EXPERTS, DR. JULIUS HIBBERT AND DR MARVIN MONROE WELL, KENT, AS THE SIMPSONS’ FAMILY PHYSICIAN I'VE SEEN MANY UNUSUAL THINGS, BUT FRANKLY, THIS ONE TAKES DR. HIBBERT, FROM THE MEDICAL PERSPECTIVE, WHAT CAN YOU TELL US. ABOUT THIS CASE? ICHUCKLES TAKES THE FRUITCAKE, YOU MEAN! AS BN EXPLAIN IN MY NEW BOOK, “IM OKAY YOU'RE SICK AND TWISTED’ THIS SORT OF PHENOMENON IS ROOTED IN WHAT JUNG REFERS TO AS THE COLLECTIVE UNCONSCIOUS! THIS |S JUST A TYPE OF MASS HYSTERIA, FANNED BY THE SPECULATIVE RAMBLINGS OF ATTENTION-GRABBING, KNOW-NOTHING, SELF-APPOINTED PSEUDO-EXPERTS! LET’S GO LIVE NOW To THE HOME OF THE MAN WE'VE DUBBED “THE AMAZING COLOSSAL HOMER,” AND SEE IF WE CAN HAVE A WORD WITH HIS UNFORTUNATE FAMILY, < WE'D PREFER NOT TO. PARTICIPATE IN THIS MEDIA CIRCUS. PLEASE LEAVE US ALONE WITH SOME SHRED OF ‘OUR DIGNITY INTACT!YM EXHAUSTED! Y'VE BEEN CHASING YOUR FATHER ALL OVER TOWN. 1 FINALLY LosT HIM WHEN T RAN OUT OF GAS, MOM! ARE YOU OKAY? WHY, THANK YOU, BART. FRANKLY, I WOULD HAVE EXPECTED YOU TO SIDE WITH THE VULTURES WHO ARE TRYING TO. CASH IN ON OUR MISFORTUNE, DON'T WORRY, MOM. THIS WHOLE SORDID EPISODE MAY TURN OUT TO BE OUR TICKET TO Hi THERE, YM LIONEL HUTZ, ATTORNEY AT LAW. ~~ AND HERE'S THE MAN WHO CAN PUNCH THAT TICKET. “NEGOTIATING MEDIA RIGHTS TO PERSONAL TRAGEDIES MY SPECIALTY"?THAT'S RIGHT, MRS. SIMPSON. I CAN HAVE YOU ON THE HOLLYWOOD GRAVY TRAIN FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY “MOVIE OF THE WEEK? YOU To LEAVE MY KiDs, GET IN THE CAR TO SEE THE MAYOR. 7M SORRY, MR. HUTZ, BUT_VLL HAVE TO ASK HOUSE RIGHT NOW! WE'RE GOING SOON, INA TOP-SECRET COMMAND CENTER BENEATH CITY HALL THE AFTERNOON SOUNDS LIKE THE TIME POLLS ARE IN, SiR IS RIGHT FOR A BIT OF YOU'RE DOWN Il YINGOISTIC MILITARY BECAUSE OF THIS ADVENTURISM. WHAT'S GIANT GUY. THE POOR WIGGUM? WE'VE GOT ALL OUR SQUAD CARS ON THE STREET ~~ EXCEPT THE 12 IN YOUR PERSONAL MOTORCADE, OF COURSE, WE'VE BEEN TRACKING JUMBO BOY'S MOVEMENTS FOR THE PAST HOUR CUT THE SMALL TALK, WIGGUM. WHAT’S THE BOTTOM LINE? HE/S HEADING FOR THE NUCLEAR POWER PLANT. YEAH. IF HE CRASHES THAT PLACE, IT’S GOODBYE SPRINGFIELD, HELLO SLOW AGONIZING DEATH BY RADIATION POISONING!TM MRS. HOMER SIMPSON, AND I DEMAND TO SEE - QUIMBY, ARE YOU OUTTA Your MIND? YOU CAN'T LET A CIVILIAN IN HERE! SHE'LL SEE EVERSTHING! SHE'LL SEE THE SHUT U2, WIGGUM. THAT'S A REGISTERED VOTER YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, YM SURE YOU APPRECIATE. THE GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION. IF YOUR HUSBAND STEPS ON THE NUCLEAR POWER PLANT, THE RESULTING MELTDOWN WILL DESTROY SPRINGFIELD! IT’S OKAY, BOYS LET HER Go. THE MAYOR: NOW WHAT CAN 1 DO FoR you, WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING To DO FoR MY HUSBAND, Me. MAYOR. THEREFORE, IN THE BEST TRADITION OF OLD HOLLYWOOD MONSTER MOVIES, I'VE CALLED THE PENTAGON TO ARRANGE AN AIR STRIKE AGAINST JOUR HUSBAND.BESIDES, MAYBE THIS‘LL CONVICE A FEW OF THOSE BASE-CLOSING PEACENIKS BACK IN WASHINGTON OF THE STRATEGIC IMPORTANCE OF THE SPRINGFIELD AIR FORCE BASE. ‘you can’t // NOW, MRS. SIMPSON DO THAT I'M NOT SAYING HOMER THAT HE WON'T GET coup se{ HIS HAIR MuUSsED, BUT KILLED! IT’S MY DUTY TO. PROTECT THE PROPERTY OWNERS OF Grn hance ‘AGAINST GIANT MONSTERS IS THE PRICE OF LIBERTY. OUR FAIR CITY, PERHAPS I MIGHT SUGGEST AN ALTERNATIVE, MR. BURNS! 7 FoR MY OWN, UH, ALWAYS HAPPY To: HUMANITARIAN REASONS, HEAR THE VIEWS OF T WANT THIS CREATURE OUR TOWN’S LEADING BROUGHT IN ALIVE. I PLUTOCRAT. BELIEVE WE'VE FOUND A WE HAVE DEVELOPED A DRUG WHICH WILL RENDER THIS GIANT UNCONSCIOUS. AND. RETURN HIM TO HIS NORMAL SIZE. THERE IS, HOWEVER, ONE DRAWBACK =~ WE HAVE ONLY BEEN ABLE TO MANUFACTURE ENOUGH OF THE SERUM ONLY ONE CHANCE, EH? SOUNDS TOO RISKY TO ME. == AND WE MUST NOT MiSs. Cy ¢ tHe =e" =HEH HEH! ISNT iA WNT IR ARE THAT CUTE! YOU JUST A QUICK BRIEFING. | SPEAK RIGHT UP, = =i cas i re O cs ih ’ Z SINCE TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE, I’LL OVERLOOK NDING. 1 KNOW HOW YOU CAN BE SURE OF GETTING A CLEAR SHOT AT HIM. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO Iseae) AWTHE DRUG {Ss COUNTERACTING q HOw?D IN THIS YAAAAH! 1 DON'T WISH TO INTERRUPT. THISSOON, IN Ma. BURN'S OFFICE. TM NeRvous, MARGE. I'VE NEVER BEEN GOOD ‘aT TESTS. WEREN'T, THAT KIND. OF TEST, HOMER THE TEST RESULTS ARE BACK. THEY'RE ALL ~~ PERFECTLY NORMAL. AND LOOK, HOMES =~ ACCORDING TO THis, YOU'VE LosT THREE POUNDS. woowHoo! DONUTS, HERE FAREWELL, My LITTLE LABORATORY RAT. WELL, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR? LET MY TREATMENTS 1’ SORRY, Sik, UT I THOUGHT IT BEST NOT TO TELL THEM THE WHOLE TRUTH ABOUT THE TEST RESULTS. ONCE AGAIN, MY DREAMS ARE DASHED AND THE MOCKING LAUGHTER OF DAME FORTUNE RINGS IN MY EARS. BUT WE SHALL SEE WHO LAUGHS LAST. CONTINUE THE RESEARCH. THE RAY HAD HORRIBLE SIDE EFFECTS ~~ iT TURNED THE MAN INTO A BALDING, OBESE, DONUT-OBSESSED BUFFOON!, WHAT'S MORE, THERE'S NO TELLING HOW LONG THE EFFECTS OF THE SHRINKING SERUM WILL LAST. IN THE MEAN TIME, BEEF UP SECURITY AROUND HERE. f HAVE THE STRANGEST FEELING I'M BEING WATCHED!zp £ all ail atbe ae 2GREETINGS, ALL YOU COAGULATING COMICS FANS! IT’S YOUR BLOOD-CURDLING BUDDY BART SIMPSON HERE, WITH A TRAUMATIZING LITTLE TALE THAT'S GUARANTEED TO GIVE YOU A FOUR-COLOR FRIGHT. DO YOU GET A THRILL OUT OF TRACKING DOWN A NEAR-MINT TREASURE? DOES YOUR HAPPY LITTLE HEART PALPITATE WITH PLEASURE WHEN YOU PURCHASE A RARE BACK ISSUE? WELL, YOU MAY WANT To . RECONSIDER AFTER YOU READ THIS! I CALL IT.WAIT == CALM DOWN == DON'T THE GRATES TOPPLE AGAINST THE INSIDE THE VAUE, THE VAUET DOOR, AND IT SLAs sHUT ~~ | | COLLECTOR CooLLy ie: WHADDUA KNOW == 1 PANIC! THERE’S GOT TO BE A WAY ‘OUT SOMEHOW. THINK, MAN =~ WHAT WOULD RADIOACTIVE MAN 0 IN THIS SITUATION? am KNOW! HE'D CRUMPLE THE DOOR WITH A SINGLE \TOMIC=POWERED PUNCH! THE COLLECTOR IMMEDIATELY PUTS KIS PLAN INTO ACTION == BUT TO NO AVAIL! es MANRE UENG BRITE STRENGTH TO RESOLVE Ti PROBLENS DOESN'T ALWAWS ; WORK AS WELL IN REAL LIFE | | PRN pf IT DOES IN COMES i LWAIT A MINUTE! 1 CAN SEE MY BREATH! IT'S > WHEN THE CLIMATE CONTROL SHORTED (OUT, THE REFRIGERATION UNIT MUST HAVE KICKED I FULL BLAST! ONCE AGAIN HE BRA TRIES TO Ft HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME) GET ME ‘OUT OF HERE! FINALLY) HE SLUMPS TO THE FLOOR, EXHAUSTED AND SHIVERING. THE TEMPERATURE INSIDE THE VAULT CONTINUES To PLUNGE. NOW IT IS FAR BELOW FREEZING! THE COLLECTOR HUDDLES AGAINST THE DOOR FOR A LONG TIME, FIGHTING THE COLD. HE FEELS THE HORRIBLE NUMBNESS OF FROSTBITE OVERTAKING HiM. ‘ON MONDAY MORNING, SMEDLEY RETURNS. WHEN HE FINDS THAT His MASTER IS NOT UPSTAIRS, HE HEADS FOR THE VAULT. SEEING THE CRATES PILED AGAINST THE DOOR, HE IMMEDIATELY. GRASPS THE. SITUATION FRANTICALLY, HE MOVES THE CRATES AND OPENS THE DOOR. SMEDLEY IS HORRIFIED AS HIS MASTER EMERGES, HALFFROZEN ‘AND GIBBERING INSANELY... NEAR MINT/ HEH HEMI SUGHT SPINE ROLL! VERY FINE! HEH HEH! SMEDLEY GAZES INTO THE VAUT AND SUDDENLY REALIZES WHAT HAS DRIVEN HIS MASTER MAD. THE SHELVES ARE EMPTY, AND ON THE FLOOR IS A GIANT. PILE OF ASHES. IN ORDER TO KEEP FROM FREEZING TO DEATH, THE COLLECTOR HAD TO BURN HIS ENTIRE COMIC BOOK COLLECTION! A ULTRA-RARE! HEE HEE ONLY KNOWN copy! THAT LITTLE SAGA CERTAINLY LEFT ME WITH A WARM GLOW! AFTER THAT WAY~COOL, EXPERIENCE, 1 GUESS THE OF MASTER WILL BE LUCKY IF HE CAN EVEN COLLECT HIS WITS! THAT'S ALL FOR NOW, SCREAM“FIENDS! UNTIL NEXT TIME, SEE YOU IN THE FUNNY PAGES! tJ) nen LY ptsCoe eee tee CCL eee > OC creer aces Los Angeles, CA 90067. If you send or! or photos, please wrile on the back, “For consideration for publication in Bongo Comics ee ne Sete So how can there be a : Simpsons letters page tn our Comics and Jirst issue, you ask? © Stories was What are these peo- great! I ple writing about, hope there anyway? Well will be more in case you @ issues in the massed tt, we did a future. But I found one-shot mag called ame an error in “Lo, There Simpsons Comics and ‘BARE SIMPSON” Shall Come... A Bart- Stories a few months back. It “Wena Durie. +-—-* Tan!” which needs was so well received that we started the Bongo Comics Group so we could bring you lots more. So now you've got some: thing to write about, too! PUBLISHER Matt Groening EDITOR IN CHIEF/ CREATIVE DIRECTOR ‘Steve Vance EDITOR INN CHIEF/ CREATIVE DIRECTOR Cindy Vance MANAGING EDITOR Jason Grode ART DIRECTOR Bil! Morrison PUBLICITY DIRECTOR Antonia Coffman FRONT COVER ILLUSTRATION Bill Morrison ACK COVER JLLUSTRATION. ‘Steve Vence/Bill Morrison ‘SPECIAL THANKS TO DON WELSH Toronto, Ont., Cando to be rectified, Grampa Simp- son tells Bart that his first pub- lished letter of complaint appeared in Radioactive Man #27. But in the book The Simp- sons Uncensored Family Album, a letter to the Springfield Shop- per is shown to be his first recorded letter of and sign your name. If you doa’, aur bossy lawyers won't let us print em. Thanks! his first recorded letter of com- plaint — perhaps she discovered it one day and kept it asa memento. (Of course, that doesn't explain why Marge’s fan letter to Ringo Starr, which we know that she did send, is also in there. Perhaps she kept a copy to prove that she really id write to Ringo, and that's what we see in the Family Album.) 2) As Grampa Simpson got older, he lost his interest in comic books; note that he refers to Morty Mann's collection as “a pile of crap.” Grampa Simpson now sees comics as being so far beneath him that, had Morty ‘Mann not presented him with that Radioactive Man book, he'd complaint! If you don’t stop making these stupid mis- takes, you're going to lose this reader and a lot of others too, I bet. (Sorry about that; there's a little bit of Grampa Simpson nall of us.) Don't have a cow, man; I've got two ways to solve this problem. Let’s see. 1) For whatever reason, the letter to the Springfield Shop per was never mailed! Inthe Family Albu, Marge describes it as John Pearl, Canton, OHGot a burning question? We'll try to give you... Q: Why doesn't Homer actu- ally yell back at his boss when his boss yells at him? Jason Coberly Kileen, TX At Does the word “unemploy- ment” mean anything to you, Jason? Q: How old was Homer when he had his first Duff? ‘Mark Miller Independence, MO Az Obviously not old enough, Mark. @: How old is Mr. Burns? Gary Shipman Cedar Hill, TX A: Obviously too old, Gary. @: Why are the Simpsons the only family that have spiked hair? Mark Miller Independence, MO ‘A: Blame the cutrate barber Homer takes ‘em to. Q: Will Maggie ever talk again? Gary Shipman Cedar Hill, TX A: We asked her, but she wouldn't tell us. @: Do the Simpsons wear the same clothes every day or are all their clothes the same? Lauren Corr Birgmingham, AL A: Yes. never have remembered that particular letter! What do you think? —Gary Dunaier Flushing, Queens, NY Actually, Gary, Marge put together the family album long before she learned of Grampa’s em- barrassing past as a dis- gruntled fan- boy. Leonard & Eileon Bruce, Jackson, TN I LOVED the first issue of Simpsons Comics and Storiest Ii’s the perfect companion piece to the magazine and hit TV show. The humor and drawings are so much like the show that I couldn't tell where one began and the other ended. One thing is clear: Those yel- low bug-eyed Tearrbeacuia’ Misfits have ‘Adom Blackerby invaded and con- Gedsden, AL quered our pop culture and is it one helluva a ride! J especially appreciate the in- jokes sprinkled throughout the stories. In “Lo, There Shall Come a Bartman!!", Arnold Leach’s announcement that he intended to ‘kill’ Radioactive realizing who ‘El Barto’ is! Ned Flander is a dense, self-righteous Mary Poppins from Hell—he’s a great foil for Homer. I actually KNOW people like the Flanderses and they frankly terrify me. I hope you focus on Ned some- times. Back to the “El Barto” ‘story—those cops are the dumb- est guys supposedly protecting the fair city of Springfield. Lisa should be mayor of Springfield— she's the only intelligent, charac- ter in the whole town. “Maggie's Excellent Adven- ture” was cute, but I feel that the slap-stick humor would have been better executed had it been animated, rather than drawn for a comic, It had more action than verbal wit, and would have been funnier if we could see Maggie actually being tossed down the power plant chute, into Man is an obvious parallel to the current Superman death, a loss that has disrupt- ed so many lives. Talk about milking something for all it's worth. “Bring Me the Head of El Barto” really shows how moronic the good citi- the Acmne delivery truck and into Otto's grocery bag. Having her win the Berger Baby Search was a good touch, though. On the whole, it was great entertainment and T anxiously await the second Simpsons comic book. More, more, more! zens of Springfield can be—imagine not ‘Mark Miller Independence, MO —Michelle Beaubien Burnaby, BC