Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Jancis Robinson
toasts the season
Haiku in the headlines:
nding poetry in the FT
Stargazing with
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Dont put
all these
swear
words in
14-35
Martin Freeman
14 The Sherlock star talks
to Henry Mance about
politics, anger and why
hes not on Twitter
Hidden haiku
20 Discover the unintended
poetry thats popped up in
the FT this year
The icemen cometh
22 Kazakh shermen search for
ALEKSEY KONDRATYEV
sustenance beneath the frozen
Ishim River. Photographs and
words by Aleksey Kondratyev
Fishermen huddle on the frozen Ishim River, Kazakhstan
Douglas Couplands
Observations
26 Why nobody likes speaking
We have two bears in the sky that on phones any more
p30
are not even anatomically accurate Neil deGrasse Tyson
Neil deGrasse Tyson demysties the cosmos 30 Americas most famous
living astrophysicist takes
Kadhim Shubber on a whistle-
stop tour of the constellations
p39
These are some 37-46
of the powerful any of the political options Grilled octopus potato salad
Kuper
become obsessed
with political ideas
O
nly very recently, the big Admittedly, even in Europe, some popular orbis ex machina (a rare Latin neologism) is the
new trend in language was new words came from outside politics. In Dutch, theory that the world is computer simulation.
narcissism on social media. Samsonseks, promoted by Flemish mother But, as Trump likes to argue, not everything
In 2014, sele was named Ingrid Renders, roughly means: Parents having comes from Russia. This years western
word of the year in various sex while their children are distracted by the linguistic trend is in part a backlash against
languages, Chambers Dictionary talking dog Samson on TV. Russias phrase of previous western trends. In 2014, the American
chose overshare, Collins Dictionary went the year comes from high culture: Ochered Dialect Societys word of the year was
with photobomb, while the Global Language na Serova/Aivazovskovo, which denotes: #blacklivesmatter; in 2015, it was the gender-
Monitor had the emoji . As late as 2015, Queues for the exhibitions of the works of neutral pronoun they. Also in 2015, Dictionary.
Oxford Dictionaries chose the emoji. Things painters Serov and Aivazovsky [in Moscow]. com chose identity, explaining that the most
were as they should be: westerners were wasting However, even this phrase may be more prominent theme was in the expanding and
their lives messing around on Facebook. political than it seems: the current Russian increasingly uid nature of conversations about
In 2016, language changed. The latest boom in cultural pursuits has been diagnosed gender and sexuality. Back then, minorities
batch of words of the year show that across as an attempt to escape the Putinesque were still having their turn. This year, the
the west (thought happily not yet in Asia), present. Russian political unease is captured old-fashioned mainstream struck back.
I
even many apolitical people have become in one of the countrys neologisms of the year:
obsessed with political ideas. Sifting through neuyezzhant or non-leaver: one who has the f there is linguistic cheer, its in east Asia,
past words of the year, we can pin down opportunity to emigrate but prefers to stay. where the western political trend hasnt
some of the origins of this change. In terms of zeitgeist, Russian seems to be a year registered yet. Japans word of the year
This years words of the year in English include or two ahead of western languages. In 2014, when (chosen by the publisher Jiyu Kokumin Sha)
xenophobia (chosen by Dictionary.com), westerners were still oversharing photobombs, is kamitteru, which means something
Brexit (Collins), paranoid (Cambridge Russias word of the year was Krimnash, a like godlike. Previously a childrens slang
Dictionary) and post-truth (Oxford contraction of Crimea is ours. The word for 2015 phrase, it took off in June after a baseball manager
Dictionaries). Merriam-Webster tweeted on was bezentsi (refugees). Any western linguist used it to describe a players performance. The
November 29 that fascism was still our #1 looking for omens should note two other Russian Japanese kanji of 2016 chosen in an annual
lookup, with a particular spike on November 9 neologisms of 2016. Emptistry, according to ceremony at the Kiyomizu-dera temple in Kyoto
after Donald Trumps election, and was on track Epstein, is production of emptiness as a social was , pronounced kin (or so Im told),
to be the dictionarys word of the year. Finally, industry and economic preoccupation, while which broadly meanss gold, money. beneted
the dictionary went with surrreal as word of from Japans 12 gold medals at the Rio Olympics.
the year. German, a language especially Reassuringly in these e changing times, had
suited to constructing new wo ords, won twice before, in the Olympic years 2000 and
gave us postfaktisch (postfacttual, 2012. But among the subsidiary reasons for its
chosen by Germanys triumph this time waas Trumps golden hair (or, as
Gesellschaft fr deutsche his detractors describ be it, orange).
Sprache) and Austrias word off The Filipino word of 2016 was the almost
the year, Bundesprsidentenstiich- deliciously retro fotoobam (photobomb).
wahlwiederholungsverschiebungg, g Chinese internet searches were also
or federal-president-runoff- determinedly apolitical, though that may
vote-repeat-postponement. Ru ussias be because off the regimes constraints.
word of 2016 chosen by a com mmittee of Baidu, the C Chinese Google, named its
experts chaired by Mikhail Epsstein at Emory top three ke eywords of 2016 as 1. The
University in the US, more of whom later Rio Olympicc Games; 2. House prices
Opening shot
was Brekzit. In short, this yeaar, language soared; 3. Car-licence-plate lottery.
was even more political than usual. We still need a global phrase of
Tech words continue to be coined but no the year. Im nominating the
longer get so much attention. In French, for official slogan of the Rio Games,
example, Uberisation was mere ely a runner-up whhich must have seemed safely
to the word of the year, rfugiss (refugees). vappid when the organisers
In the Van Dale dictionarys vo ote for choose it a few months ago:
Dutch word of the year, smartp phonista A New World. 6
and dronevertising were nomin nated
only in specialist subcategoriess. simoon.kuper@ft.com;
Twittter @KuperSimon; To see the
Illustration Luis Graena FTs Yearr in a Word, go to ft.com/word
INVENTORY
An Ankara fabric backdrop
with a music note, a plantain,
some owers and a perfume
MVULA
Singer and songwriter
would be my cat Mali and my
future dachshund puppy.
Ive had lots. Without the music Do you consider your carbon tour bus, at venues. It took me a fresh from a show with an amazing
teachers that inspired me, footprint? while to adapt but now it takes me audience and Ive had a good sleep
I wouldnt be where I am today. I should consider it more, especially three minutes to pack a suitcase. on the tour bus, so a solid eight.
How physically t are you? because of all the back and forth we I do have a home in Shoreditch that
Ive just started with a personal do to get the music out there. I need I love and where my cat Mali lives Laura Mvula fronts the Casio Action in
trainer. Shes hardcore e she but Im not there as often as Id like. Music initiative and supports Classic FMs
lulls me into a false sen
nse of What would you like to own that Music Teacher of the Year Awards with Casio
security and then push hes Early ambition: you dont currently possess? and ABRSM (nominations close January 27;
me. Theres something g to be in Eternal A dog! I desperately want a dog. to enter, see actioninmusic.co.uk)
Im chief medical
ofcer for the
Everest Marathon
F
or those of an adventurous disposition,
tackling the Everest Marathon is
the ultimate challenge. And, as chief
medical officer, its my job to ensure
that every participant gets to realise
their dream and lives to tell the tale.
The biennial race, which has raised more than
600,000 for Nepalese charities since it began in
1987, is recognised by Guinness World Records as
the highest marathon in the world. The starting
point is Gorak Shep, a frozen, sand-covered
lake bed in Nepal, at an altitude of 17,010ft.
At that height the views are sublime. However,
the rareed air provides just 50 per cent of the
oxygen available at sea level. Those who fail to
adapt properly will be in serious trouble, and
could perish on the mountain if untreated.
My ve-strong medical team and I all
volunteers, though subsidised by the race
organisers have a duty to make sure the 80 David Buckler: Im proud to say no one has died on my watch
or so runners are sufficiently acclimatised and
in good health at the start line. The course to Lukla, one of the worlds most dangerous signs of these include shortness of breath, an
undulates but it is mostly downhill. We end airports, and the site of many air tragedies. It is unwillingness to do anything and headaches.
at the Sherpa capital of Namche Bazaar, at carved out of the mountain and has a landing We employ a buddy system, so you can dob
11,300ft, so if you are feeling all right at Gorak strip of just a few hundred metres. Next follows in your tent mate if they are looking peaky and
Shep, you will probably reach the nish line. a two-day trek to Namche Bazaar, the starting might be too macho to ag up their discomfort.
Im proud to say no one has died on my point for nearly every Everest expedition It takes 10 hours for altitude sickness to reach
watch, and in the past two events everyone in the past 50 years. Gradually we increase its maximum, and its not ideal to treat someone
who signed up and paid the 3,000 entry altitude, and spend four or ve days trekking at 3am, when its pitch black and -10C.
fee managed to nish. There have been a few up to 18,000ft so as to be fully acclimatised As a rule of thumb, the Everest Marathon
scary moments, though, and in the past we have before dropping down to rest. We then hike takes twice as long to complete as a road
needed to airlift sick people down the mountain. to a different valley for the actual run. marathon. Because I sweep up the stragglers,
My preparation for the race starts about Its vital to stress bodies that is, to I usually register a time of 10 hours or more,
a year out. I gather together a medical team introduce them to an environment where and complete the race in darkness, guided only
who are compatible with one another, and there is signicantly less oxygen, so they by a head torch and instinct. Im particularly
who can survive without creature comforts naturally make the necessary changes. The body looking forward to the race next November,
for four weeks. Together, we carry the medical concentrates the blood, squeezing more of it from because my wife Jennie is taking part for the rst
supplies required for every eventuality, so that the bone marrow. This also makes you pee a lot. time. Completing the worlds highest marathon
100 people will be safe for a month away from The secret to acclimatising is to move up the alongside her will make it an extra special
civilisation. There is no budget for drugs, so we mountain slowly enough that the body adapts. experience; the pinnacle, you might say. 7
have to beg, borrow and steal to get them. The two main potential problems are swelling
Three weeks before the race, the group of the brain (cerebral oedema) and uid in As told to Oliver Pickup
ies to Kathmandu. Then we take a tiny plane the lungs (pulmonary oedema). The telltale Portrait by James Cannon
In 1856 the Indian mathematician and surveyor Radhanath Sikdar (left) used a combination of trigonometry and spherical
geometry to calculate the height of Mount Everest (then known as Peak XV), recording it at 29,002ft. In May 1999,
researchers from the American Millennium Expedition used GPS to measure the mountains height of 29,035ft now
the official gure. Shifting tectonic plates continue to push Everest upward at a rate of between 1.6in and 3.9in per year.
T
intolerance of gay people because the repressors Via FT.com
he liberal classes are stirring. happen to be from a religious minority.
After a year of seeing everything The modern liberal feels impelled to condemn It was great to see Simon Kuper
mainstream hammered by angry attitudes without bothering to gure out why address the issues raised in his
populists, the bruised moderates others nd them reasonable. Sometimes this is column (Poor, white and no longer
are planning their ghtback. In the necessary in the cause of social progress the forgotten, Dec 17/18). But he is
coffee shops and book clubs the battle for gay rights was one which saw the wrong to write off the immigration
counter-revolution is taking shape. The mood is country pulled along. But, as 2016 has shown, the question. Whenever members of
turning erce among the quinoa-eating classes. elastic can only be stretched so far before it snaps the white working class ask for
For the hated cosmopolitans, so used to peppering back. One can, for instance, delight in the new more support, they are told that
their conversation with a sprinkling of other respect shown to the transgender community, funds are limited. They are thus
dialects, muscular liberalism is the term du jour. and still not want to be told that men and women hypersensitive to any prospect
Long-forgotten pro-Europeans are lumbering must now be called cis men and cis women. of queue-jumping by outsiders.
out of retirement to take up the ght. In south- The rst step then for a muscular liberal We should recognise that this is a
west London, voters have staged a Brexit counter- ghtback is to rebuild the relationship with large legitimate concern and recongure
magazineletters@ft.com
revolution, throwing out our Tory MP in favour of portions of the electorate. This means no longer the immigration and welfare
some underpowered Lib Dem who wont change dismissing those who take pride in their country. systems to address it, for example
anything but makes us feel better. We may be too One reason why some voters have embraced the by moving welfare to a contributory
moderate for a year of deance but we denitely mean-spirited, inward-looking views of populist basis, discouraging low-skilled
can manage 12 months of incivility. We may not, leaders is that those leaders seemed to be the only immigration and prioritising social
like Peter Finch in Network, be mad as hell and ones sympathising with them. housing for long-term residents.
not gonna take it any more, but we certainly are At a recent conference, one left-leaning Mysterion
a bit miffed and really need to discuss this. speaker, noting that older voters stood in the way Via FT.com
One problem is that moderate, mainstream of liberal reform, observed to loud laughter that
liberalism doesnt lend itself easily to the weapons social progress will be won, one funeral at a
of modern political conict. It makes for lousy time a good line, but the problem with wishing No issue next weekend
tweets. Lets spread the wealth a bit more evenly voters dead is that they tend to hold it against you. We are not publishing an issue on
along the income distribution curve just doesnt Muscular liberalism is going to require its December 31 2016/January 1 2017
cut the mustard in an era of Take back control leaders to start liking the voting public again. If, but will be back on January 7/8 2017.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
and Make America great again. like me, you believe in the essential decency of
to all our readers.
But there is a larger problem. The political your nation and its people, this ought not to be too
terrain has changed. Its easy to see liberals lapsing difficult. Even in tough economic times, voters
To contribute Please email
into comfortable positions in which they ght will let you appeal to their better angels, but only
magazineletters@ft.com. Include
more ercely while making the same mistakes. once they think you are actually on their side. 6 a daytime telephone number and
A smarter approach means abandoning some of full address (not for publication).
their instinctive responses to issues. robert.shrimsley@ft.com; Twitter @robertshrimsley Letters may be edited.
Issue number 697 Online ft.com/magazine Editorial inquiries 020 7873 3636 Advertising inquiries 020 7873 3121 FT Weekend Magazine is printed by Wyndeham Group in the UK and published by
12 The Financial Times Ltd, Number One Southwark Bridge, London SE1 9HL The Financial Times Ltd 2016 No part of this magazine may be reproduced in any form without the prior express permission of the publisher
My capacity
for immediate
anger is
surprising
After reinventing the role of the straight man in The Office, Martin Freeman
has gone on to lead roles in Sherlock, Fargo and The Hobbit. He talks to
Henry Mance about his need for privacy, his passion for politics and why
hes not on Twitter. Portrait by Norbert Schoerner
14
ft.com/magazine january 12/13 2013 15
Dont get the wrong idea. Freeman is not
your worst nightmare of an overpaid, ill- I think its
mannered actor; hes not even a nightmare.
British journalists often treat celebrities as our nice not
parents handled vegetables pressure-cooking
them to the point where no texture can possibly knowing
remain. But with Freeman, you do hit rawness.
Such as when we stumble onto the topic of his stuff
Sherlock co-star, Amanda Abbington. Im not
with Amanda any more, he whispers about sometimes
the partner/possible wife/possible ex-wife
he met in 2001, and with whom he has two I do like
children. Its very, very amicable Ill always
love Amanda. Later, I ask if success has made lying to
him happier. To a certain extent, yes, he
says. Not as much as it might have done, and people
not as much as maybe I would have hoped it
had. It comes across as a tender admission.
Perhaps Freemans greatest achievement
was to reinvent the role of the straight man for
the age of y-on-the-wall comedy. In the 2001-
2003 series The Office, with a single appalled
stare or conspiratorial glance at the camera, he
brought home the true awfulness of David Brent.
And then, just as other actors started to
copy him, he got bored and branched out.
His rise can be charted by his answer to the
perennial question: is he the everyman actor?
There wasnt a huge leap from his breakout
role in The Office Tim Canterbury, the playful,
likeable one to his cameo in Love Actually
O
And the night? Im too old for that shit now. lms is more authoritative, guy-in-charge,
government guy.
n screen, Freeman has A couple of years ago, Freeman said he still
perfected a glorious, hadnt arrived. Has he now? Yeah, in some
exasperated pause ways. [But] I dont know if Tom Cruise feels hes
where he purses his arrived Because theres always someone else
lips, looks to one side, doing something you should be doing.
and steels himself for His role in Captain America was eeting,
the hell that is other but it is still the big time. Does he notice the
people. His presence power of big Hollywood budgets? No, you
Thank almost automatically dont, he says. Where you notice it is in
pulls in audiences sympathies. In Sherlock, he the catering if theres posh snacks, and if
God I found makes Watson, the detectives sidekick and inching when you say, Can I get
no ones inching
best friend, into the most attractive character a coffee?
acting while conceding there must be something dark Everyone wants more time and money.
in a veteran of Afghanistan with a continued The only job Ive done where that didnt seem to
because thirst for danger. He even manages to emit be the case was The Hobbit... ... Every budget other
affability in Fargo, where he plays a Minnesotan than that that Ive ever done has been F***,
I wasnt insurance salesman whose idea of emotionally were running out of time.
engaging with his wife is murdering her. Freeman grew up in Teddington, south-west
a good I now am mindful of you think this guys an London, the youngest of ve
ve children; his mum
everyday guy, but then we nd out something and dad, a former naval officer,
officer, who separated
enough about him, he says, of his choice of roles. I am when he was young, imparted a certain
pretty f***ing picky, and an awful lot of stuff creativity. We werent the Von Trapps. My dad
painter or I dont do... I do things purely on the criteria was a painter, we all painted. Mum had been
criterion he corrects himself, where other shed wanted to be an actor, when she was
songwriter actors might not that Im interested in them. younger; life took over, the 1950s took over.
H
I bore art, people did some stuff in my family. And
thank God I found acting because I wasnt
including in myself. I bore myself quite easily.
someone else, then acting is the worst job in the One of the least attractive traits I nd in actors
world. Because this tells you more about yourself is people who think they can win at acting...
than you want to know. Which I think is really That they think art is something you can win
interesting and really true. Ive always felt that at... And you do come across it. Oh, I smashed
the really, really interesting stuff that we see it. F***ing knocked it out the park. Thats for
actors do has to be them If youre not drawing me thats an aspect of modern life where I
on truth for you, then its f***ing pointless. feel about 100 years old I think people used
Freeman dropped out of acting school to to say it ironically around here. Its ceased to
join the National Theatre, before surfacing be ironic its now just, Yeah, Im amazing.
O
Good for you, man. No, Ive never done that. is another. I go on the basis that were all
everything and it just depends which button
f Freemans major you turn up at any given time. You can be really
roles, none is overtly happy or really angry. You can throw your head
political. Yet the man back in laughter, and other times you can be a
himself most denitely miserable sod, I presume, because I think f***ing
is. I grew up aware that everyone can be. Well, yes, but that is, by my
people were pissed off. count, his 40th F-word of the conversation
He started acting in my dial doesnt go that far. My capacity for
youth theatre, because immediate anger is surprising sometimes, he
I thought I could bring concedes. Even surprises me. F***ing hell, like,
down the Tory government (and also cos Im a Where did that come from? I push him for an
f***ing show-off). As a teenager he volunteered example. People dont say please and thank
with the Labour partys Young Socialists wing, you. Drives me f***ing nuts. He has no social
then ruled by Militant, a revolutionary group media accounts, because, My career would be
whose leaders were ultimately banned from over within ve minutes. If I was on Twitter, I
Labour. I would occasionally be selling Militant would be f***ed, f***ed. Five minutes. Success
[its in-house magazine] and be raising money has not changed whats in there, he says,
for Militant, just by dint of the fact that was sort gesturing at his chest inside his red leather coat.
of who ran the Labour Party Young Socialists. Did he think fame would sort him out? No.
Gradually he has lost condence perhaps not But I thought age might. I thought, F***ing hell,
in radical ideas, but in their application. Acting by 45, surely I wont be thinking this shit in my
for political reasons is tedious. Im not very head Im not so wound up as I was at 23 about
fond of overly serious, earnest people. Im not wrong and right, and about my motivations. Now
very fond of people who dont see shades.
Freeman remains a Labour supporter, fronting
I just acknowledge that my own motivations
for everything are pretty f***ing muddy.
If I was on
a party election broadcast for Ed Miliband in
2015, and joining the party later that year to vote
Freemans two children are old enough to
think of becoming actors. Is he wary of that?
Twitter,
for Jeremy Corbyn. But he recognises that his
commitment may be irrational. To be absolutely
Absolutely Yeah, theyre talented. Especially
our daughter is more front foot into the idea.
my career
honest, it is like a football team. I was very clear
I did the Labour broadcast because thats my
For me, its about balancing encouragement
with non-delusion. And also trying to inculcate
would be
team. However f***ed up the team is its like
the BBC, thats my team. I will go to the grave for
those things of work not just hard work,
although hard work is a big part of it, but also
over in five
the BBC. Even when theyre driving me nuts.
Labour is driving many people nuts, but not
taste and why do you want this? Because if you
think you want this because of this f***ing
minutes
quite Freeman. To my slight dismay, he seems huge trailer that youre in now, because youre
keen for a discussion about the divisions between having lunch with me, thats not a good reason,
the partys members and its MPs, before satisfying because this probably wont happen, just by
himself with: I want Labour in power, so I hope law of averages. I cant make this happen, I
now that this is going to work. To be absolutely wouldnt want to f***ing make this happen.
honest, I think its a minor miracle whenever Im not sure quite what type of
a Labour party gets into power, whoever it is. swearing this is, but it seems almost
Facing page: (top) With Corbyn, I do understand that the danger caressing, parental. Whatever strange
with cast members is its T-shirt politics. But genuinely Ive wanted re
re burns inside Martin Freeman, it does
from The Office; with things to be f***ing renationalised for ever. at least throw off some warmth. 6
former partner Amanda
Abbington. This page:
He talks about it, like I think a Labour leader
with Emily VanCamp should But I dont think he is the messiah. Henry Mance is an FT political
in Captain America: Is it harder or easier for Freeman to be a correspondent. Sherlock series four
Civil War socialist now that hes rich? Its harder because begins on January 1 on BBC One
The haiku is a powerful poetic However, in a fit of in their own right. Suddenly,
form derived from the original experimentation earlier this year, Martin Wolf is a poet. So is Lucy
Japanese style, with its structured we created an algorithm that Kellaway. Now, at the end of
three lines of five, seven and five can identify all the fragments of 2016, we can present the year
syllables. David Lanoue, haiku text in FT articles that (entirely as seen by our writers (albeit
poet and author, defines it as: accidentally) match the syllable unintentionally) in haiku. 7
A one-breath poem that discovers pattern. While most of the
connection. Theyre beautiful but matches are nonsense, with some By Chris Gathercole, founder of
not something you expect to find human effort we can pick out the FT Hidden Haiku project
many of in the FT. those that seem to work as haiku ft.com/hiddenhaiku
unceremoniously
towards his remains
Head slapping Benny Hill-
style is a nuisance
telling you again now Lucy Kellaway
July 5 2016
in front of everyone
to stop doing it
Erdogan claims Turkey
coup is crushed
The sound of gunshots FT reporters
July 16 2016
explosions and the sonic
boom of fighter jets
Free Lunch:
Play the ball, not the man
organisations Martin Sandbu
August 12 2016
reflect the priorities Harry Potter and the Brexit
aftermath coming soon
of the powerful felt uncomfortably to UK theatre
Rosemary Squire
like someone had forgotten September 15 2016
Transcript of Alan
Rusbridgers Lunch with the to write the ending
when you know something FT with Edward Snowden
Edward Snowden
when you care about something September 12 2016
Nano-machine inventors
win Nobel chemistry prize
and you say nothing spinning cranks and wheels Clive Cookson
October 5 2016
unaware that they would lead
to electric trains
SNP members divided
on referendum timing
For many members Mure Dickie and
Henry Mance
a second referendum October 14 2016
cannot come too soon
Prepare for a reversal
of monetary rule under
bewildering mix President Trump
Gillian Tett
knitted together only November 10 2016
with populism
Tony Blair plans his
second coming
jetting round the world Robert Shrimsley
November 24 2016
greasing up to dictators
and making millions
Free Lunch: Trump Lunch with the FT:
supporters on the couch radical performance artist
Martin Sandbu She does her thing cuts Marina Abramovic
Jan Dalley
August 17 2016 her body sits for hours December 2 2016
in agony burns
more white older more Sometimes talking, not
tech, is the answer to social
21
22
THE ICEMEN COMETH
23
F
or generations, Kazakh populated region in the world, after
fishers have set out on to Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia).
the frozen Ishim River While they fish, they protect
in the hope of catching themselves from the harsh weather
fish beneath the ice. with salvaged pieces of plastic,
The Ishim flows through patched together from discarded
the countrys capital, Astana, a trash or rice bags that you can find
high-rise, futuristic city that was outside markets selling western,
built essentially from scratch in the Chinese and Russian goods. I first
1990s, when Kazakhstan started to saw them when I was travelling
benefit from the exploitation of its through central Asia, working on
oil reserves. Its supposed to be an another photographic project;
emblem of post-Soviet modernity, they were like inadvertent
a hallmark of the countrys sculptures on the ice.
nationhood. But not everyone Kazakhstan was once a nomadic
there has profited equally. country, and some vestiges of that
Many of these fishermen way of life still exist. These ice
venture on to the ice in order to fishers improvise and adapt to their
feed themselves and their families, environment in ingenious ways,
braving temperatures that often just as their forebears did. 6
reach -40 degrees (north-central
Kazakhstan is the second-coldest alekseykondratyev.com
24
Protecting
themselves with
salvaged pieces of
plastic, they look
like inadvertent
sculptures on
the ice
25
Douglas
Couplands
Observations
Y
esterday I found myself emailing to
arrange a phone call with someone
in New York. I suggested a number of
times that worked on my end could
they perhaps choose one or suggest
their own times? And then it dawned
on me: arranging to speak with people on the
phone these days feels a lot like arranging with Rob, I cant hear you.
a hygienist to get your teeth cleaned. It has to I cant hear properly. Im calling back.
be done, lets just get it over with. Nobody likes Wait who was that?
speaking on phones any more. When did this I think Katie.
happen? Why did this happen? My lines fuzzy.
*** Where are Pam and Jason?
I remember being on the train from London to I think they said theyd be late.
Scotland in the late 1990s and there was a guy Hi!
Wing
barking into his phone, exhibiting no boundaries Whos that?
whatsoever. My publicist said, Listen to Yorkie Its Jason. Pam is phoning from
over there. Looks like somebody likes the sound somewhere else.
of their voice quite a bit, I should think. These Rob, I cant hear you properly.
days, Yorkie is long gone. Speaking on a phone on ***
Wing
a train these days puts a black letter L on your I remember rotary dial phones. They were
forehead. Weve all changed. produced after the second world war in New
*** Jersey by a US government-sanctioned monopoly
My mother is convinced I have a secret phone called Bell Labs. The government thought
with a secret phone number. I try to tell her that communications were far too important to be
nobody speaks on phones these days, but she left in the hands of raw capitalism and, to their
wont believe it. My outgoing message on my cell credit, Bell Labs designed phones of stunning
Nobody likes speaking is that I dont check messages. I dont. I havent durability just ask anyone from a household
checked voicemail in more than two years. full of children back then. BTW, Ive also noticed
on phones any more. People still sometimes leave messages. Its that nobody forgets their rst phone number and
When did this happen? their choice. everyone remembers the phone number of their
Gosh! I wonder if I have any voicemail! friend early on in life. Perhaps no longer. Current
Why did this happen? Not. phone numbers often resemble gene sequences
Illustrations by James Joyce *** in their length and complexity. Whod want
I think the worst possible kind of phone call is to remember one? Remember something that
the group phone call, where everyone calls in might come in useful instead, like pi.
and where it feels as if your soul is being gently ***
smothered by carbon monoxide. I remember the rst time I called somebody in
Hawaii, where the area code is 808. By the end of
Hi, its Gary, who else is here? dialling the zero I was in a kind of hypnotic trance
Kate here. owing to the relaxing and drug-like gentle buzz of
Im here. the rotary dial. This was in 1985. I then wondered
Whos that then? why Hawaii got such a long-to-dial area code
Rob. and discovered at my local library that you could
pretty much tell the geopolitical signicance of
the place you were dialling back in the 1950s and
1960s by the amount of time it took the rotary
dial to dial the area code. New York, with the
highest call volume, got the fastest-to-dial area
code, 212. LA got 213; Chicago,312; Michigans
Upper Peninsula, 906.
***
Last month I was at a red light at the busy
corner of Thurlow and Alberni in Vancouver. I
was looking up someones number on my iPhone
when a police cars sirens went whoot-whoot and
rarely in my life have I ever felt so undeniably
busted by the law. Inside the police car were a pair
of theatrically sullen cops: PULL OVER.
All right, all right. Fortunately, someone
elses misfortune elsewhere called the car away,
but not before the ercer of the two said, That
would have been a $400 ticket!
Whoot-whoot!
This incident did precipitate, however, my
observation, starting a few years back, that
increasingly people waiting at red lights dont
move when the light turns green. Cellphones.
Ive also noticed that cars tend to weave a
bit more in traffic these days, especially on
highways. Cellphones.
It appears traffic fatalities, after decades of
decline, are now noticeably rising. Cellphones?
Cellphones.
***
In Italy in the 1980s, public phones required
that one buy gettoni, brass slugs used exclusively
in public phones, yet nding gettoni for sale
was always difficult, time-wasting and boring.
Heaven help you if you had to place a long-
distance call back then. You had to book an
appointment, get a booth and then an operator
would place the call for you. It was a lot like
setting up a conference call in 2016.
In Scotland in 1987, I called my brother back
home from a Glasgow hotel room and the bill
came to 72 and I freaked out. The desk manager
kept on saying, But sir, your phone call was 300
pips long.
What the hell is a pip?
A pip is a pip, sir. Ahhh a tautology, spoken
by Basil Fawltys clone.
In the end I got the price cut in half but still
felt grossly overcharged. Travellers are often
grossly overcharged because they have no form
T R
with Neil
Z deGrasse
Tyson
G G
I
A
N
Americas superstar astrophysicist has brought the marvels of space to
the masses. At the Royal Observatory, he tells Kadhim Shubber how
to find the Little Dipper, the truth about star signs and why he wouldnt
say no to a Trump space commission. Photographs by Marco Kesseler
Y
es, the plan was a tad
optimistic. The month of
December and the city of
London are far from ideal
choices for stargazing.
Thats the diplomatic
way of putting it. Neil
deGrasse Tyson is more
blunt. This is London. I
cant believe you guys said, Lets go outside and
well film the night sky, he tells me and his
publicist. You guys are delusional.
We are at the Royal Observatory in Greenwich,
south-east London. The weather is painfully over-
cast and clouds have scuppered our chances of
viewing the stars through the observatorys 28in
Great Equatorial Telescope, the largest refracting
telescope in the UK. In the past, Tyson has schooled
the likes of Michael Bloomberg and David Koch on
the ins and outs of stargazing by telescope. Sadly,
I will have to settle for the artificial sky of
Greenwichs planetarium.
Tyson is Americas most famous living astro-
physicist and something of an internet celebrity. A
graduate of Harvard with a PhD from Columbia, the
58-year-old has used his extraordinary gifts of com-
munication to bring the wonder of the cosmos to
the masses first through television, writing, and
radio; now through social media, podcasts and video.
He has more than six million followers on Twitter,
and three and a half million likes on Facebook. In
one YouTube video, he discusses the most astound-
ing fact in the universe that the elements that
make up our bodies were created by exploding stars.
The clip has been watched more than 10 million
times. As an evangelist for science and astronomy,
he is the digital heir to Carl Sagan, the astronomer,
author and broadcaster who captured the imagina-
tion of the American public during the cold war.
We enter the observatory at about 8.30pm and
Tyson, who carries a backpack and is wearing a
brown fedora, approaches the security desk and
throws a joke at the guards. Is the universe safe,
security of the universe? Are you normally open
this late? As we walk towards the planetarium, he
is briefly distracted by the large astrophotography
prints on display. You tell me youre getting Earth
shine? he exclaims, pointing to a picture of the
Moon (Earth shine is when light reflects from the
Earth on to the Moon, and then back again, allow- IN THE EVENING, WERE
ing us to glimpse the dark parts of the Moon). Hours
later, with the clock approaching midnight and my WORKING LATE, WE HAVE
neck aching from leaning back to stare at the plan- NETFLIX. WE DONT HAVE
etariums dome, Tyson will be no less energised by
the observatorys photographs, stopping repeatedly A RELATIONSHIP WITH
to explain how they were created.
I confess to him that, at the age of 27, this is my
THE NIGHT SKY THE WAY
first time at a planetarium. In your whole life? OUR ANCESTORS DID
What the hell is wrong with you? he asks. I add to
my embarrassment by admitting I had studied
physics at university before I switched and took up
journalism, for reasons I still think are good
reasons, I explain. You wont get me to agree How to find Polaris and
with that, he says. Keep telling yourself that you
had good reasons. the Big and Little Dippers
Tonight, Tyson has promised a whistle-stop tour
of the constellations. But he has requested that the Polaris
planetarium staff beam up the classical illustrations
of the star groupings not just the stick figures that
most of us are familiar with. He is interested in the The Little Dipper
imaginations of the ancients, who gazed up at the
stars and planets journeying across the inky black
sky, and noticed when certain configurations of The Big Dipper
planets aligned with the seasons or the flooding of
rivers. Consider that, in modern times in the even-
ing, youre working late, you have Netflix movies
you want to watch, he says. We dont have a
relationship with the night sky the way that our
ancestors did. What else are they doing at night?
Theres no evening movies, theres no coffee shops.
Theyre out looking up at the night sky. So their
relationship to it was so much more significant
than it is for anybody today.
Think of the urge to imagine that the sky is
controlling Earth. Think about that. Youre in the
centre of all this movement, and the Moon does
one thing and the Sun does another thing and it Video: watch Neil
corresponds with when its time to harvest your deGrasse Tyson teach
crops. This is the origins of why people are sure, to Kadhim Shubber the
patterns of astronomy
themselves, that the universe is somehow affecting at ft.com/stargazing
their lives. The birth of astrology, basically.
T
ysons own fascination with the
universe began, aged nine, with a
visit to the Hayden Planetarium in
New York. He grew up in Riverdale,
an affluent part of the Bronx, and in nothing astrophysical about the night sky. The upshot for those sailing the seas is that the particular crime is having tails, a characteristic no night sky, we get to see what the Europeans were To my surprise, he says he wouldnt be averse
his 2000 autobiography, The Sky Is Constellations have no meaning. No scientific elevation of Polaris above the horizon is the same real bear shares. So we have two bears in the sky thinking of at the time. in principle. Youre being a servant of the needs
Not the Limit, he recalled thinking that the star-filled meaning. Any more than the borders of the state as your latitude. that are not even anatomically accurate, Tyson says. The heavens were entertainment in a time when of the country, he says, though he distinguishes
night sky he saw at the planetarium could be some of Colorado have any geologic meaning. Theyre The other use is less grand: Polaris lets us identify It gets worse as we move on to the Zodiac, the our heads were pulled up to the stars rather than between joining an independent commission and
sort of hoax such is the poor astronomical diet just straight lines. the Little Dipper, appearing on the end of its 12 constellations that sit along the path of the Sun, down to our screens, he says. Today, we have other direct, paid roles: If you are in a direct report to
available to those living among the bright lights of With that caveat in mind, we start with the Big handle. So far Ive managed to keep up, aided by Moon and planets against the sky. Some of these forms of diversion, among them the great cacoph- the president, then you work for the president.
a city. He studied physics at Harvard, choosing it Dipper (better known to UK readers as the Plough), Tysons laser pointer. But the two dippers are fairly are complete stretches of the imagination. Like, do ony of distractions provided by Twitter, where Whereas if I dont work for the president, then the
over Cornell, where Carl Sagan worked, because his a group of seven stars that form a handle connected easy fodder they are not even constellations, they you really get a crab here? Do you really get twins Tyson is spending increasingly less of his time. I president works for me. Because Im a voter.
analysis revealed that more writers in the magazine to a sort of bucket on the right. The name derives are called asterisms, groups of interesting stars here? he says, pointing at the constellations found that people will go out of their way [there] He wont comment on potential changes to space
Scientific American had studied there. He received from the way it dips down towards the horizon as within larger constellations. Cancer and Gemini. Today, most people know these to say that Im wrong, he says. policy under Trump. Im not going to chase
his PhD in astrophysics from Columbia University the Earth rotates, Tyson explains, placing his hand Big Dipper and Little Dipper are part of the con- constellations as their star sign, despite the fact One of his tweets that caused particular contro- the phantom phrasings that have shown up,
in 1991 and worked as a research associate at on my arm to ensure hes got my full attention. stellations Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, respectively; that they have shifted as the Earth wobbles on its versy came in June: Earth needs a virtual country: stapled together from 10 different speeches hes
Princeton. In 1996, he became director of the The two stars on the very right of the Big Dipper the big and little bear. The constellations were axis. The correspondence is off by an entire con- #Rationalia, with a one-line Constitution: All policy given. Im going to wait for something meaningful
Hayden Planetarium, where he still works today. are particularly useful as they point upwards catalogued in the second century by Greek astrono- stellation. So what that means is you thought you shall be based on the weight of evidence. He tells to manifest.
He takes particular pride in his institutions research towards the north star, Polaris, which is not, as mer Ptolemy but had been known for centuries were Taurus, youre actually an Aries. me: I was impressed how many people just thought The dream in Rationalia is that the scientific
N
into planets orbiting other stars, a field that has been some may think, the brightest star in the sky. Its even then. Its here that my pattern-spotting abili- the idea was bad. It was like, How could you say method will become ingrained in policy making.
filled with discoveries in recent years. Theres like the 49th brightest star, says Tyson. That said, ties start to fail me, though Tyson is sympathetic. ext, Tyson whisks us to the that governance by evidence is bad? I just could not Generations of people will grow up with the
a million of those now, I comment. I know, he theres no other star in a large swatch of the sky You need huge imagination to see these things. southern hemisphere. Here, the embrace the nature of the criticism of that idea. fundamental expectation that youve got to do an
replies. Three thousand, but close. that rivals the brightness of Polaris, so it should be These are two furry bears in the sky. Do you really constellations have a mechanistic In the 2000s, Tyson was appointed by then-US experiment or you have to take the measurements,
Greenwichs planetarium has little more than a pretty easy to find. see that or do you just see stars? If you really see flavour. There is a microscope, a president George W Bush to two White House com- he says. The notion of acquiring evidence will
quarter of the Haydens seating capacity. This even- Polaris has two important uses. For navigators, that, I would ask what you were smoking. It blast furnace, an air pump. missions, one looking into the US aerospace indus- become fundamental to everyone. In ourTrumpian
ing, though, it is empty for us. Tyson is wearing a it is vital as a tool for measuring their current lati- requires extreme imagination to come up with Europeans became acquainted try, the other charged with laying out a plan for world, this vision seems somehow more distant
flannel shirt, untucked and with three buttons tude the Earths axis points to it. So that means, everything that the history of civilisation has with much of the southern night sky far later than space exploration. I cant help but wonder whether and more important than ever. 6
undone, his slight paunch belying the once-athletic as we rotate, all the stars will appear to revolve placed upon the sky. the northern, and their choice of imagery reflected he would consider a similar role under the new
physique he had as a wrestler at high school and around Polaris like some kind of a pinwheel. [If you] The task is not made easier by the fact that most this, Tyson explains. I took you here to impress president-elect. The day after Donald Trumps vic- Kadhim Shubber is an FT Alphaville reporter.
university. As we take our seats, he sets the mood trudge north, then Polaris would get higher and of the constellations look nothing like the things upon you that later in time, after the industrial tory, he tweeted: FYI: Manhattan, where people Welcome to the Universe: An Astrophysical Tour, by
by reminding me that there is little science to be higher in the sky until we met Santa Claus and then they are supposed to. Ursa Major and Ursa Minor revolution, other things mattered more to people. know Trump best (hes lived, worked, & played Neil deGrasse Tyson, Michael A Strauss and J Richard
found in joining the dots between stars. Theres Polaris would be straight overhead, he explains. are far from the worst offenders although their And since this is generally a European map of the there most of his life), gave him 10% of the vote. Gott, is published by Princeton University Press
Robinson
this Christmas:
to see all Janciss festive
recomm mendations go to
ft.co
om/life-arts/
janccis-robinson
Sweet success
S
ince there are so many Ch Villefranche 2013 Sauternes wine that could be drunk Dei 2009 Vin Santo di
ways a wine can be made Excellent value for proper with savoury foods. Attractive Montepulciano
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owe their sweetness purely to 12.95 VineyardsDirect.com if bought as part of a mixed dozen
the sugar naturally in the grapes. De Bortoli, Australian Lea & Sandeman
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Third, those to which alcohol has East Australia 2007 Tokaji Wine Chenin Blanc
been added to stop the fermentation Liqueur Muscat is one The current, rather 2015 Stellenbosch
and retain unfermented grape of Australias great wine precocious vintage of An old favourite that never
sugar. And, nally, a group of drier treasures. If it came from this producers grandest disappoints and seems to be
wines that have been fortied Rutherglen, it would wine and another one that delicious even in extreme
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MoscatodAsti mix of almonds and apricots. 2015 Pantelleria thrillingly on the edge of
This is the anytime wine, Excellent value. 12.5% Made from lightly dried Muscat sweetness. The rened
feather-light and refreshing 14.50 for 50 cl Oddbins of Alexandria grapes grown on acidity that denes
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stronger wines. Apple juice 2010 Vouvray 11 for 37.5cl Oddbins dozen Lea & Sandeman
of the most stimulating Lovely, pure, maturing
sort. Very useful for Chenin Blanc bouquet of Kyperounda, Taylors 20-Year-Old
Food&Drink Wine
Christmas entertaining. 5% almonds and Gripx glue. Commandaria Tawny NV Port
13.35 Berry Bros & Rudd There is so much pure 2008 Cyprus My sweet spot for the
freshness in this classic The signature Cypriot age of wood-matured
Ch La Caussade 2012 Loire white that the sweet wine from one port seems to be 20 years.
Ste-Croix-du-Mont wine tastes just off-dry. It would be of the renascent wine This one is a convincing
This is a great price for a great with a chicken liver parfait, islands nest producers greenish pale tawny
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outside Sauternes with a 25.95 Berry Bros & Rudd most Commandarias. overall impression is that of
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8.95 for 37.5cl Lea & Sandeman above, is the sort of sweet Berry Bros & Rudd 44.99 Selfridges
Hayward
broth. Th
his is perhaps
the besst ramen Ive
eate
en in the UK
Food&Drink Restaurants
+44 (0)207 734 5416;
jolly. You are seated at a kaiten- shuangshuang.co.uk of the individual chefs worth. best ramen Ive eaten in the UK.
style serving conveyor and a Returning in the evening for I dont need my food indie-
waiter pours broth into a bowl on the Yamagoya experience, I am led washed or bolstered with
a hotplate set into the counter. upstairs to a room, according to authenticity cues. Its probably
From the belt, you choose meats, the press release, replicating the because Im more greedy than
vegetables and noodles, which you interior of Ogatas original ramen ethical, but I honestly couldnt
poach in the broth and eat with a shop. There are a few Japanese give a toss whether the foods
variety of sauces. Its fun. In fact, lanterns and ags, scorched by being made by a little old Japanese
its fascinating. The broth builds merciless modern lighting that geezer in a headband or a global
avour as the meal progresses. also illuminates the dormant kaiten conglomerate. When its this good,
I chose a black chicken stock in belt snaking through the room. it stands by itself. These are some
which I poached sliced kidneys, pork Each table features a wooden cover, damn good noodles. I urge you to
balls, chrysanthemum leaves, strips under which, one assumes, lurks try them while this residency
of marinated beef, noodles and a a temporarily redundant hotplate. lasts because its perfectly
selection of choys. It was a great On one wall are some black-and- possible to consume the food
way to eat lunch. In spite of the white pictures of his rst shop, without believing the hype. 6
STUART MATTHEWS
Spice odyssey
them on separate trays. with a nal layer of rice
Cut the tomatoes into and onions. Cut a slice
eighths. Place on the nal of puff pastry to t over
baking tray and add the the top of your pot.
T
chickpeas and paneer. Press it down tightly
Put 6 tbs of oil in a around the edges of the
his is a love letter to chickpeas and tomatoes to roasted small bowl with 1 tsp pot. Brush the top with
humble vegetables. beetroots, sweet potatoes and of salt, the chilli powder, the egg; sprinkle with
Its a meal for special a citrusy coconut and coriander cumin, garam masala the seeds. Place in the
occasions, whether sauce. Its not a difficult recipe, and lemon juice. Mix oven for 25 minutes.
well, then spoon over the Gingerly take out
that be Diwali, far from it, but its denitely
vegetables, adding more of the oven and place
Christmas or a bar one to take your time over. 6 to the tomato and paneer on the table to serve.
DAVID LOFTUS
mitzvah. Its packed full of a tray than the other two. Cut the pastry away
rainbow of colours, avours and Fresh India by Meera Sodha is Make sure everything is and discard to reveal
textures, from spiced paneer, published by Fig Tree (20) evenly coated, put the the steamy biryani.
B
essays and reminiscences pays tribute to
Stilton or Christmas pudding.
visionary founder Sasha Petraske, who
uying special beer no longer takes died last year aged 42. The anecdotes from
special effort. There is a riot of avours Thornbridge/Brooklyn Serpent his fellow bartenders offer a snapshot of
available to the adventurous drinker (9.5% ABV, 750ml, 15, Thornbridge) New Yorks bar scene in its finest hour.
these days and specialist shops, such Collaboration, whereby different breweries Phaidon, 19.95
as Otters Tears in Stoke-on-Trent, work together on a one-off beer, is a big thing
Spritz: Italys Most Iconic
are opening all over the UK. Many in the craft-beer world. Made by Brooklyn
Aperitivo Cocktail, with Recipes
of them sell online as well as in person. Brewerys larger-than-life head man Garrett by Talia Baiocchi and Leslie Pariseau
There is a growing number of beer Oliver and Thornbridges Rob Lovatt, this A celebration of the sparkling cocktail
subscription clubs too. Among the best are collaboration is a Belgian golden ale fermented thats taken the world by storm from the
BeerBods, which delivers 12 beers on a quarterly in Bourbon barrels with the lees from Olivers editors of punchdrink.com, Americas
basis and organises Twitter tastings every Cider in Herefordshire. It tastes of gentle hippest drinks website. Snappy, funny
and backed up by a wealth of liquid
week (gift subscriptions start at 36), and an spice and lots of green apple, with some
expertise, Spritz offers dozens of riffs
intriguing new company called Imperial Beer rounded boozy notes too. Time may bring on the bitter/wine/soda/citrus formula.
Club, which offers only beers of 6% ABV and these avours together but for now it would An ode to Italys aperitivo hour, this
above; a one-off case of 10 costs 49.99. do a ne job with cured or smoked sh. is cocktail drinking at its most fun.
If that doesnt appeal, though, try one of these: Ten Speed Press, 14.99
Burning Sky Saison Anniversaire
Shake. Stir. Sip: 50 Effortless Cocktails
The Kernel Damson Sour (6.2%, 750ml, 13.50, Hop Burns & Black)
in Equal Parts by Kara Newman
(4.1% ABV, 750ml, 10, Ales by Mail) Brewer Mark Tranter has a passion for saison, A clever little stocking filler that takes the
Visitors to the Kernels home in Bermondsey, a Belgian style notable for its dry, spicy maths out of mixing cocktails by rounding
south London, this year can hardly have missed moreishness. Hes made a number of them up 50 recipes that can all be made using
the bank of lled Champagne-style bottles at his Sussex brewery; this one has been ingredients in equal measures which
along one wall, waiting for head brewer Evin fermented and aged entirely in French means theyre easy to scale up for a party
too. Recipes range from short sharpeners,
ORiordain and his team to decide theyre ready. chardonnay barriques. The result is a
including a wet martini, to refreshers,
One of the rst to be released is this Damson beer whose lemony, vinous clarity would such as a cucumber gimlet made with
beer, which has the sort of fruit clarity you work beautifully with goats cheese. vodka, fresh lime and lemonade.
associate with a high-class Schnapps, and plenty
of tart character too. It would work well with Sint Bernardus Christmas Ale
Chronicle Books, 13.80
Christmas drinks
rich food: roast duck, perhaps, or a good pork pie. (10% ABV, 750ml, 8.19, Beers of Europe) A Visual Guide to Drink by Ben
Gibson and Patrick Mulligan
This rich, dark ale comes from one of
New York duo Pop Chart Lab have created
Goose Island Brewery Yard Belgiums most respected breweries. The infographics on everything from hip-hop
(8.4%, 750ml, 12, Clapton Craft) cinnamon-and-anise-spiced behemoth is to architecture and are now taking on
A beer with a fascinating story. In the 19th a favourite of Phil Hardy, owner of Otters alcoholic drinks with this beautiful book.
century, pale ales were aged for long periods Tears. Some Christmas beers are ruined The cocktail sections at the end of each
in wood before sale: they were known as stock by being overloaded with spice, but this is chapter may make you go cross-eyed
but that doesnt stop this book from
ales. Bass was famous for its stock ale, which more subtle, he says. Its a wonderful
being enormously entertaining.
was aged in the brewery yard, protected only by post-Christmas sipper. 6 Michael Joseph, 18.99
straw, whatever the weather. This re-creation,
PHIL HARDY
made by Goose Island brewer Mike Siegel in Will Hawkes is the author of Craft Alice Lascelles is author of Ten Cocktails:
collaboration with beer historian Ron Pattinson, Beer London (Vespertine Press) The Art of Convivial Drinking (Saltyard)
A
staple to accompany the garlic and add to
sh in Portugal. the mixture.
nd now for something completely
Serves four to six.
different. The turkey lurks in wait, While the octopus cools,
with its aftermath of curries, risotto 1 frozen octopus, prepare the potato salad.
and hash; the ham lies groaning on about 1.5 kg Peel the potatoes, cover
its board; and the magnicent side 1 chilli in cold water and bring
1 head garlic to the boil. Salt well
of smoked salmon is poised. Soon
2 bay leaves and cook until tender.
its curling remnants will haunt you from a fridge Drain them and cut into
Sprig of thyme
piled high with Tupperware housing various 1 tsp marjoram or small chunks. Make a
festive remains. Come next Thursday, unless you oregano leaves vinaigrette with the
have a riad or alpine chalet to go to, you will need Fine zest of a lemon, mustard, salt, pepper,
a change of diet. Octopus is just the thing. plus the juice vinegar and the oils and
1 tsp sea salt dress the potatoes while
One of the octopuss merits is that it benets
1 tsp hot pimenton still quite hot. Place in a
from being frozen: some say it is essential, serving dish; keep warm.
(substitute with a bit of
being a more effective method of tenderising cayenne and paprika)
than bashing it against the rocks. And whereas 4 tbs olive oil Separate the tentacles
the new Nordics are reaching down into their 750g potatoes from the body of the
pickling barrel, I am delving into my freezer. It is 2 tsp Dijon mustard octopus. Heat a hot
1 tsp salt griddle plate or grill and
to the freezer you must go if you want sh after
1 tsp milled black toss the octopus in a little
Christmas because shermen will be tucked up at olive oil before putting
pepper
home guzzling their turkey just like you and me. 2 tbs white wine it on. Let them brown
So, along with the frozen peas and prawns, the vinegar very well before turning
duck pancakes and marrowbones for the dog, you 50ml sunower oil them once and searing
will usually nd an octopus lurking in my freezer. 50ml olive oil the other side. Toss the
4 spring onions grilled octopus in the
It surprises me how much people like octopus.
After
dressing and then place
I love the stuff but a few years ago the word on top of the potato
Defrost the octopus
octopus on the menu would be greeted with in plenty of cold water. salad. Slice the spring
the same fear elicited by kidneys, eels and Rinse and place in a onions; sprinkle on top.
the feast
chicken feet. Now, octopus is a surere seller saucepan with salt and
on contemporary menus, rivalling sea bass cover with plenty of cold Wine
water. Bring to a simmer Not much frightens the
(almost always farmed and tasteless), burrata
before adding the garlic, octopus, red or white.
(havent you had enough of it by now?) or The lusty avours of the
chilli, bay and thyme.
barbecue anything. Octopus may be traduced Simmer on the stove marinade suggest a fairly
Put all the gorging behind you with from time to time no more carpaccio, thank without boiling for at aggressive white with
this light seafood salad you but as long as it is cooked enough, it is least an hour. Test plenty of body, perhaps
not difficult. My preferred method is to cover for tenderness by a lemony Semillon/
inserting a knife or Sauvignon Blanc or a
it whole in cold water and bring it to a gentle
skewer in the thickest lightly chilled but high-
simmer for an hour before separating the octane young red a new
part of the tentacle.
tentacles and head and searing it on a grill or Lift out and let cool. world Pinot perhaps.
griddle with some fairly aggressive seasoning.
It is very good on its own but also receptive to
pulses or the potato salad below. I use large,
oury maincrop potatoes that soak up the
dressing rather than so-called salad potatoes.
It was The Velvet Underground who alerted
me to the connotation of octopus among young
ladies. In The Gift, John Cale murmurs, My
God, he was like an octopus. Hands all over the
place. In England they used to whisper NSIT
not safe in taxis. Happy Christmas. 6
00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00
1. Johannes Dei
gratia rex Anglie are
13 14 15 the rst words of
00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00
which 13th-century
16
document? 5. Which ship destroyed by the
17 18 19
2. What are, was discovered Lombards in 581, by
respectively, the mysteriously Napoleons troops in
20 00 00 00 00 00 00 21 00 00 northernmost abandoned off the 1799 and by Allied
and southernmost Azores in 1872? aircraft in 1944?
22 23 24 states in New 6. The kindly 9. Whose acting
England (top)? Tom Pinch and roles have ranged
00 00 00 00 00 00 00
3. Which former the hypocritical from Frank Spencer
Spice Girl had a Mr Pecksniff are to the title role
25 26
solo number one characters in in the original
00 00 00 00 00 00 00 in 2000 with which Charles West End production
I Turn to You? Dickens novel? of The Phantom
27 28 4. As whom is Anna 7. Which of the Opera?
Fierling known 20th-century 10. Which two
in the title of a female opera words precede
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are straightforward, 28 Pay the bill (6) new loss (9) Brecht surname was the title of a
while the Down clues 16 Last month, girl got (right)? Kalogeropoulou? 1985 song and
are cryptic. The shaded DOWN ultimate in disgrace, 8. Which Italian Mr Lawrence in
squares will spell out a 1 Remove group having fallen socially (8) monastery was that of a 1983 lm?
message. a team (3, 5) 18 Wise Men in
2 Cauldron I refashioned encapsulated eastern
ACROSS as a source of water (9) dream (7) The Picture
1 Small predatory bird (6) 3 Sportspersons to 20 Preserve cooked lamb Round
4 Prestigious, glance up with little in them (6)
high-quality (8) hesitation (6) 21 Crude politicians Who or what do
9 Edible offal (5) 5 The supervisor concealed by these pictures
10 Babys conveyance (9) amended rugby crafty lies (6) add up to?
+
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species (7) 6 Old liberation round about pub,
12 Be active (7)
13 Fate (4)
17 Country in
movement that is not
heartless (7)
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French creature (5)
perhaps (5)
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S A S A E A E A N A S A P A T
east Africa (8) 8 Anatolian put up the S A T U R A T E D A E X T R A
P U B L I C B A R A A W F U L
44
Answers page 39
TimHarford
Chrristmas, like
life, is fu
ull of rituals
that see em to make
our live es richer and
The undercover economistt morre enjoyable
T
he Japanese have a So I dont begrudge the although a moments reection must be watched, respectfully. My
particularly engaging Japanese their southern-fried will reveal it not to be unique at all. wifes family, religiously minded,
ritual at this time of Christmas ritual. In fact, I have And what does it symbolise? would delay opening gifts until after
year: Kurisumasu ni been intrigued by Christmas For some, it represents wit, anti- a Christmas Day service. My own
wa kentakkii, which rituals in general; some are consumerism and the true spirit of family were more secular but fond
may sound like good and some less so. As I pointed Christmas. For others, it represents of delayed gratication many gifts
great wisdom but in fact refers out last week (and last year), smug self-obsession. After all, if had to wait until after Christmas
to Kentucky for Christmas, the ritual of giving gifts at I give you an Oxfam goat, what lunch. For some families, theres a
the national habit of eating Christmas is extremely wasteful, have I really done? Ive made a particular lm to be watched; for
Kentucky Fried Chicken as channelling valuable resources donation to charity, marinated in others, a board game to be played.
their Christmas feast. into ill-tting clothes and my own sense of superiority, and Ovul Sezer, Michael Norton,
It began as an inspired bit of tacky golf memorabilia that then mailed you the receipt. To add Francesca Gino (again) and Kathleen
marketing. In the 1970s, KFC nobody would choose if they injury to this insult, Ive also not Vohs have been examining the
noticed that western expatriates were buying for themselves. bothered to buy you a gift. We can effect of rituals on the way we
in Japan were turning only hope that Oxfam, at experience Christmas and New
to fried chicken because least, is able to nd someone Years Eve. The researchers nd a
they couldnt get hold who actually needs the goat. correlation between these rituals
of turkey. Now it has Three researchers, Lisa sacred or secular and various
become a ritual with Cavanaugh, Francesca Gino positive experiences of the holiday
enough selling power and Gavan Fitzsimons, season, including feeling more
that there are queues recently published research curious, paying closer attention,
around the block, and into this sort of socially liking the family more, enjoying
customers will order their responsible gift. They the seasonal holiday, and life
chicken in November found evidence that people satisfaction in general. Of course,
or even October. Whats systematically overestimate causation may run the other way
particularly impressive how welcome such gifts will it may be that disliking your
is that Christmas isnt be, particularly when they family causes you to avoid sharing
even a holiday in Japan. are given to people they Christmas rituals with them rather
Kurisumasu ni dont know terribly well. than the other way round.
wa kentakkii is an As I described last week, Still, Sezer and her colleagues
audacious piece of Gino has contributed to seem to be on to something.
commercialisation, other research on gift-giving, Life is full of social rituals but
but its not the rst time discovering that recipients their details often do not seem
Christmas has been boldly are often happier with gifts to matter much: the wake, the
hijacked to sell something; chosen from a wishlist prom night, the baby shower, even
indeed, Christmas itself or otherwise explicitly Kurisumasu ni wa kentakkii we
piggybacked on earlier requested, even though form our social habits and we
midwinter festivals. Many that does seem to lose some stick to them. And the research
Christmas traditions are of the charm. Combining suggests were absolutely right to
fairly recent in the UK, the two insights suggests do so. The rituals seem to make our
Christmas cards, turkey, that if you want to make lives richer and more enjoyable.
crackers and trees are all a donation to charity on And without going into too
19th-century innovations. Over the past decade or so, someones behalf, it might be wise much detail, there is one Christmas
On the other hand, Christmas weve seen a new combination of to ask for their blessing rst. tradition thats unlikely to disappear
W
consumerism, which we tend to two older traditions: giving gifts, any time soon: the number of
think of as a modern vice, is also a and donating to charity. With hat of the children conceived peaks over the
19th-century habit. Joel Waldfogels much the same cheek as Kentucky Christmas Christmas holidays, leading to a
book Scroogenomics shows that the Fried Chicken in Japan, Oxfam rituals we bump in birth rates in September.
boom in December spending can be has been pushing the idea that you share as a Thats certainly one way to bring
traced back many decades. (In 1867 can give twice by donating to group? a family closer together. 6
in New York, Macys decided it Oxfam on someone elses behalf. Different
was worth keeping its doors open In effect, youre giving a dozen families will have their own rituals Tim Harfords new book is Messy:
until midnight on Christmas Eve.) chicks, or a vegetable garden, perhaps the gifts are to be opened How to Be Creative and Resilient in
or, notoriously, a goat. A unique, at a particular time or in a particular a Tidy-Minded World (Riverhead/
Illustration Harry Haysom symbolic gift, says Oxfam, order. Perhaps the Queens Speech Little, Brown). Twitter @TimHarford
Tett
digital natives, going
backwards leads
to a new frontier
A
couple of weeks ago, my two But there is a second issue too: namely the it is also tossing us into a universe without
daughters (11 and 13) solemnly complex interplay developing between cyber constraints, where the rules for social interaction
wrote a Christmas-present wish and real space, which is tearing us all in two. and human knowledge are being turned upside
list. This included gadgets such as In some senses, 21st-century humans are down. As the digital revolution spreads, it is
Beats headphones, GoPro video besotted with the internet. No wonder: the hardly surprising that we are seeing both a shift
camera and so on. But it also digital revolution has delivered untold benets, towards the cyber world and also a backlash.
T
featured something else: old-fashioned vinyl making our lives dramatically more efficient
albums, plus an equally old-fashioned stand in and convenient while also cutting costs. In ake the books market. A couple of
which to store them. Yes, you read that right. other senses, however, we all have reason to years ago, there were widespread
My daughters are archetypal digital be scared: not only is digitisation eroding jobs, predictions that old-fashioned paper
natives kids who grew up knowin ng onlly a bookks weere doomed to inexorable
digital world. But while they rely on n cyberspace decline in
n favour of ebooks. But as
for a large part of their social interacctions, publisherr Adrian Zackheim points
intellectual development and daily logistics, out, the story of 2016 is that ebook sales have
when it comes to music they have su uddenly stalled, because many y readers still like the
acquired a passion for the tangible world. permanency of tangible editions. Paper
Most notably, some of their teen and d books are stagin ng a big comeback, even
tween friends have recently started hard covers, he observes. Similarly, a
listening to old-fashioned records few years ag go there were widespread
on a turntable, and the trend predictionns that video-conferencing
has spread (probably via social would re emove the need for people
media, ironically). So my kids to wastee time ying around the
now consider vinyl albums to be world too meet each other. But the
wildly cool. And retailers have confereence business is booming
cannily spotted or created today, since many people still
a new business niche. want to o meet, face to face, in the
If you walk into an Urban old-fashhioned way. In architecture,
Outtters store (a favourite Norman Foster has noticed that
for teens in New York and his clien
nts still want to see physical
elsewhere), you will see an entire models of buildings, even if a cyber
section devoted to vinyl records design is more accurate. Ironically,
and record players. If you jump Fosters clients in Silicon Valley
into cyberspace for your Christmas are said
d to be particularly
shopping, you will see websites such h keen on old d-fashioned models.
as Amazon selling these records too. I recently met with a group of cyber-
In 2015, across the industry as a who ole, security experts working at the cutting
vinyl record sales were at their highe est edge of digital techn nology, who told me they
since 1988. While sales seem to have e slowed always take vast, rolled d-up paper charts to client
in 2016, what is striking is that it is now kids meetings, since the cliients like to see a map
driving the trend, rather than older hipsters. of an IT system, laid ou ut in ink and paper on a
What is going on here? Part of the e explanation table, rather than just presented on a screen.
lies with the marketing genius of a voracious Of course, there are e numerous counter-
retail industry, which has tapped intto the examples where cyberr is displacing the analogue
fundamental truth that teenagers waant to rebel world. And I fully expe ect that, by the time
against their parents tastes. It is also
o a mark Christmas 2017 comess around, my kids will have
of the consumer psyche that scarcity y makes decided that vinyl is no longer cool and will have
things seem valuable. So the fact thaat many moved on to the next fad. But this weekend at
middle-aged people (like me) conside er vinyl least there will be an old-fashioned record
records to be irritatingly inconvenien nt (never stand sitting under the e Christmas tree for them
mind the issue of sound quality) is ap pt to make with all its inconven nient retro bulk. It is a
them seem cool to some kids. For dig gital natives, good reminder that p progress does not always
going backwards leads to a new fronttier. go in a straight line for kids or for adults. 6