co E
ns arc Ma
tan he il
tin typ
eco e@
rn
wa
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om
Welcome March with wintry wind.
Would thou wert not so unkind.
Dribbling through your letter box along
with the seasonal rains comes this farrago
of imperfections.
All original items remain the property
of the paper and may not be reproduced
without permission.
All items for inclusion must be sent to the
Editor, The Tolmen Centre, Fore Street,
Constantine TR11 5AA or E mailed to
the address above.
Anonymous items will be ignored.
Fibre optic intrusions have not been used
in the construction of this newspaper.
This is guaranteed to be a fissure free
zone.
In this issue
Page 2. Parish Council
Page 3. Perspective and
Martin Stenning.
Page 4. What’s on
Page 5. What’s on and
John Kuruber
Page 6. Tall tales for tinies.
Page 7. Letter to Ed
Page 8. Casual, Ritz and
Letter to Ed.
N.B OF THE DISCOVERIES ON
PAGE 6 - TWO ARE TRUE AND
TWO ARE FALSE BUT WHICH IS
WHICH?????????
Pages 9 to 193. Inter Continental sub
aquatic olympic games results including
the exciting forty two new world records
in the cycling events.
Printed and published
by the Constantine
Enterprises Company.
Vol. AR 8
CONSTANTINE
GWEDER MYRAS
Sponsored by HODGSONS Chartered Accountants
48 Arwenack Street, Falmouth. Telephone 01326 317785
VOICE YOUR CHOICE
This village was the winner of the ‘Business’
section of the Western region of the Calor
‘Village of the Year 2007’ awarded for the
number, variety and harmonious blend of
businesses meeting local needs. Time moves on
and an idea to add to existing services comes
from Debby and Kevin at the Spar shop. They
have received planning permission to
create extra space and are anxious to
use the area in a way that does not
conflict with other businesses in the
village. They want people in the village
to say what they would like to see
added to the present provisions. As
they say, they do not wish to become
an Asda so a ‘Chemist’ is out of the
question. They ask anyone and every
customer to give them suggestions,
bearing in mind that they will not
sell fresh meat in competition with Mike the
Butcher nor will they consider extra wines and
spirits in competition with the Post Office.
They wish to provide extra items which the
local people see as helpful due to present
unavailability or short supply and which will
enable residents to keep down the need for
travel to Falmouth and Helston and so reduce
the village ‘carbon footprint’. Suggestions in
writing or verbally should go to Kevin or Debby
at the Spar shop.
This present young couple are a big
improvement on some of the previous owners
and have been keen to be a proper part of the
village since their arrival. So let us return their
goodwill and come up with some constructive
thoughts.
Kevin and Debbie write:-
The application for planning permission
to extend the Spar shop has now been granted. We
take this opportunity to thank all the village and
the Parish Council for their support.
Demolition and building work will start
March 2008
Telephone
07766181041
in the nest four weeks. Although the shop will
remain open during the development there may
be some disruption and increased noise levels for a
short period of time. Please bear with us as we hope
to provide a better shop when all is completed.
It is calculated that the shop will increase
in size by roughly one third. We aim to maintain
the village shop atmosphere and will
welcome requests and ideas about what
services and ranges of stock you would
like incorporated into the additional
sales area.
Please address any and all
your correspondence to the Spar Shop.
Thank you for your continuing
support.
Never let it be said that we at
the Gweder Myras are short of ideas
- indeed ideas constantly bubble up
through our fevered brain. What about a
section selling local seasonal produce where a
farmer, or allotment holder or gardener or any
local resident with a surplus of, let us say, fruit,
vegetables, wet fish etc., etc., could bring goods
to be sold. The producer would gain revenue,
the shopkeeper would make a profit, residents
would have a supply of fresh local produce at a
reasonable price, money would circulate in the
local economy and the village ‘carbon footprint’
would improve.
No doubt there are other ideas around
of equal or better merit and if you have one
then trot off to see Kevin and Debbie at your
local Spar Shop.
§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
Saying of the day.
The silver trout rises in the woven darkness of the
night to sup on natures bounty and we sleep on all
unawares and snoring.
Mike Hodges.
Vol. A.R. 8 2 March 2008

Sponsored by:- MIKE HODGES (BUTCHER), No. 1. Fore Street, Constantine. 01326 340225
Best Beef, Prime Pork, Tender Lamb, Game a Speciality. You want it, he will get it.
PARISH COUNCIL will be independent of Government with no political axe
to grind. Those doing the review will not be interested in
In the section open to public questions and comment the politics of the boundaries but will look at population
the following matters were raised. The improvement in the and some specific points. The first elections will be in early
dog dung situation on the streets due to the notices posted May 2009. A down side is that Kerrier D.C. is losing Key
by residents in their properties and elsewhere. The inhabited officials at a time when they need to maintain services.
vehicle at Anna Maria and the resultant ‘Enforcement’ He told the Council that the County Council is to raise
notice. The scheme for twelve more affordable houses now Council Tax by 4.94% and Kerrier by 1.5%. The unitary
being negotiated with ‘Ocean’. The proposed improvement authority which has been created to save money will in the
to the Bridle Way at Low Barn which may require some short term cost us more. (I am willing to bet any amount
closure. that we shall never see a real reduction in Council Tax. Ed.)
In the meeting proper after apologies for absence He went on to comment about S. W. Waters decision to
and the acceptance of the minutes points were raised as close Bowling Green. A Councillor interjected to say that
follows. he had telephoned S. W. Water to tell them that they must
The letters about student car parking in Mabe had keep the road open. They had riposted by pointing out
produced a response and yellow lines had been painted that there were alternative routes to the Medical Centre.
this very day. The result was that the cars had moved and He had informed them that these routes were impassable
impeded access to Treliever Farm. The Council were told to both Ambulances and Fire Engines. Councillor Hatton
that the next phase of development at the Campus was continued with the information that the week commencing
to take place further down the hill near Packsaddle when 25th February will see the start of a three week consultation
accommodation for a further 500 students will be built period about the 20 mph speed limit for the village and the
with NO CAR PARKING FACILITIES. The college positioning of ‘speed bumps’ at the top of the village near to
authorities say there is no need as all first year students will
the school. A number of councillors voiced their opposition
reside on Campus. This ignores the fact that only 20% of to having ‘speed bumps’ on the differing grounds of safety
students live in the College Campus area and that public (Tractors and trailers slowing down to negotiate the bumps
transport does not dovetail together to provide effective and lunatic drivers overtaking as they did so), damage to
access which means that about 80% may bring some form vehicles (coming upon them unawares) etc. etc. Councillor
of transport. Hatton informed the meeting that as far as he was aware
The fact that the rubbish in the cemetery has not the ‘speed bumps’ were not negotiable and an essential part
been collected for a month despite a paid contract for of the 20 mph scheme. The Council agreed to arrange
fortnightly removal was reported and a letter will be sent. an extra special meeting to discuss their response to the
Councillor Neil Hatton reported saying that the consultation. Councillor Hatton thanked the Council and
Budock Parish Council had paid for the repainting of a left to attend another meeting in another Parish. (Clearly a
Fingerpost which had given the post a nice ‘heritage’ feel. “Man for all meetings.”)
He suggested that he should approach the artisan to look A written Police report was received which made
at our 13 Fingerposts. He told of the approval of the Spar mention of the improvement in the dog fouling situation.
Shop planning application and said that the biggest problem It mentioned two incidents of damage said to have been
had been with the Kerrier Conservation Officer but that caused by people from outside the village but where no
all was now well. He informed the Council that many evidence was available. The P. C. and the P. C. S. O. are
people were upset by what was happening at Port Navas in close touch with the village youths and are aware of the
Quay and that what had once been an Oyster Farm now move towards a basketball team.
seemed to be turning into an Oyster Factory. Portugese Planning applications for extensive alterations and
spat is being imported and grown on and more traffic is additions at Barrans and Oyster House attracted no support
using the approach roads and the Environment Agency at all and the Council have sent in written opposition to
and Natural England will be looking at the situation. He both schemes.
moved on to the Electoral review looking at the boundaries
for constituencies in the new unitary authority. The §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
review will start on February 28th/29th providing the
necessary Parliamentary authority is given and draft Leadership. noun. Coercion by superior bullying tactics.
recommendations will be ready by September. The review
Vol. A.R. 8 3 March 2008
Sponsored by:- O T S. 6 seat Taxi. 29 & 53 seat Coaches. 12 & 16 seat Minibuses
Convenient, efficient and friendly local service. Telephone 01326 340703
PERSPECTIVE
Roughly four and a half billion years ago our solar
system was formed. Within about twenty million years
the planet had cooled enough for water vapour to turn
liquid. Sometime in the next billion years life started in
a very simple form in the seas that had formed from the
condensed water vapour. Slowly plants and then insects
colonised the land that appeared and three hundred and
fifty million years ago the first amphibians followed. A
hundred million years later dinosaurs came along and
stayed as the species at the top of the food chain for one
hundred and eighty million years. Sixty five million years
ago mammals put in an appearance and about two million
years ago Homo Erectus, a bipedal ancestor of ours was
living in Africa. Modern man – Homo Sapiens appeared
about two hundred and fifty thousand years ago. So life
started at 2,700,000,000 years ago and modern man has
been around for 250,000 years.
Life grows and replicates itself. Energy is needed
to sustain life and to enable growth and reproduction.
Simple life forms get their energy in the form of warmth
or radiation from the sun or other sources. As life forms
sought energy some met their need by absorbing others.
Life forms became bigger, grew appendages, moved faster
and the inevitable process of evolution began driven by the
need for energy. A balance had to be achieved between
predator and predated otherwise the system would have
collapsed. This balance seems to have stayed steady until
mankind, and specifically modern man arrived with an
upright bipedal carriage, opposable thumbs, calculating
brain and power of speech.
We live our lives very quickly. Sixty seconds per
minute, sixty minutes per hour, twenty four hours per day
and three hundred and sixty five days per year. Roughly
31.5 million seconds per year. Life has been around for
2.7 Billion years. If we shrink that 2.7 billion to One year
then Dinosaurs, whom we regard as an example of a failed
evolutionary process, were only around for 24 days, 7 hours,
19 minutes and 57 seconds. Modern man has been around
for 48 minutes and 30 seconds, not even an hour, and in
that time has used up the greater part of the fuel laid down
as waste products by previous living entities.
Perhaps all those waste products were polluting the planet
and needed to be removed by a species evolved to do so?
Perhaps we are evolutions sanitary engineers and when we
have cleaned up, will be replaced by the next evolutionary
advance? Perhaps in the vast span of time and space we are
just a dung eating microbe here for a blip and then gone?
MARTIN STENNING
Our dear friend and a very hard worker for
Constantine and the Tolmen Centre, Martin Stenning
died on Sunday evening 3rd Feb in the Gambia, where he
had gone to try to build up some sunshine hours. He had
been rather wisht before he left in early December, and had
planned to return at beginning of March.
This is part of an email from his friend Sandy
Wainsbury of the Home Farm Project, in the Gambia
where he was staying.
“Martin lived his life to the full right to his last
days and he has been up in the bush with me on the project
for various work days which he loved and has proved to
be very useful with his lifetime of building experience. He
thoroughly believed in what we are trying to do in our small
way and encouraged me no end.”
“I have no regrets in inviting him to come out for
the winter – especially with the weather I have been hearing
about over there. He loved it over here and had made some
wonderful Gambian friends who are inconsolable at losing
him and also a bit confused as they don’t quite understand
our Western ways of doing things.”
“A perpetual optimist and a very dear man.”
The Martin that we knew in Constantine was full of
interesting ideas, a founder member of the CEC, and helped
enormously with the development of the Tolmen Centre,
including being up ladders painting in the Tolmen and at
the Bus Shelter. He also devised a scheme of “Goodwill
Housing” that earned him recognition as a Millennium
Fellow.
At the moment his family are making arrangements
for some sort of memorial service in March, details will be
posted later. In the mean time I am gathering a collection
together to send out in his memory to the Home Farm
Project in the Gambia. Look up the Web site www.
africaorganics.org and see what’s it’s all about, and if you
want to support it in this way, please drop a donation to Liz
Moore, Bow Window or at the Tolmen Centre, (envelope
marked Martin Stenning).
Many thanks Liz Moore
Linda Hart sends sincere thanks to her friends, neighbours
and the kind people of Constantine for all their care and
concern, frequent visits and practical assistance following
her fall. The broken leg appears to be healing slowly but
surely and she hopes that it will not be too long before she
is ‘pounding the beat’ again.
Vol/ A.R. 8 5 March 2008

Sponsored by:- SPIRAL CONSTRUCTION Ltd., Helston, TR13 0LW, Tel 01326 574497, Fax 574760
Special Staircase Manufacturers. Turning Ideas into Reality. E. Mail enquiries@spiral.uk.com

W H A T‘ S O N JOHN KURUBER

It is the gaps that are most noticeable. The moving

THE TOLMEN CENTRE
absence where previously there was solid substance. Like
the turning centre of a swirling breeze, thoughts and feelings
Saturday 8th March 7.30 pm
dance and twirl like leaves on the edges but the central core
CARTOON DE SALVO present
is empty. So there is an emptiness in the street where once
Hard Hearted Hannah - a theatrical treat
John made his daily foray for his newspaper. To meet him
Tickets £8, Consc £7 Children £5
was to have that ‘bit chat’ that is so dear to the villager. A
‘bit chat’ when he always showed his interest and concern
Saturday 29th March at 7.30 pm
for people other than himself.
STRINGENDO
Thirty years in some places is a long time to have
Five talented young musicians play Schubert and Weber.
known someone - in this village it is more usual and
Tickets £5
although John only settled into full residence in 1996 he
had been ‘of the village’ since the 1970s. When Fore Street
Saturday 15th March 11.00 am - 1.00 pm
was threatened by developers he offered his help and left a
Family Arts & Crafts Workshop
contact number in Chelmsford so that he could be contacted
In the Heritage Centre
urgently if needed. So it has been a privilege to be able to
Make peppermint creams, iced biscuits etc.,
bid a heartfelt farewell to a man who gave to this village
£1 each. Book on 340279 or 341353
from his heart.
See Tracey for more details.
John Kuruber was a man who believed in using
natural skills and skills learned in life for the benefit of the
SAVE THE CHILDREN FUND
local community. He was Chairman of the Constantine
and Gweek Conservative Association, Deputy Chairman
When Tuesday 4th March 9.30 am
and later Show Secretary of the Cottage Garden Society,
What A. G. M. and Coffee Morning.
Secretary of the Friends of Constantine Surgery and
Secretary of the Allotments organisation - enough work for
When:- Friday 14th March @ 7.00 pm.
several horses let alone one man. He was always prompt and
Where:- Constantine Social Club
meticulous in passing on information to this newspaper.
What:- Quiz Night & Supper
On Monday 25th February the Parish Church
Cost:- £5 per person.
was crowded with people who were there to show their
Contact:- Sue Holt 340650
appreciation of and regard for John Houghton Kuruber.
His wife, Sue, and his close relatives were accompanied
TWO LEGS GOOD - TEN WHEELS BAD
by friends he had made more than forty years ago. The
congregation heard of his life from the start in Surrey,
We note that the Tractors with huge trailers are back
through his grammar school days, his service with the
with us again speeding through the village belching red
R.A.F., his work with Cable and Wireless up to his life and
diesel fumes, putting extra weight on our fragile streets,
love of Constantine.
endangering lives by their speed and blocking the streets of
John Kuruber was an easy man to like because his
the village. Road humps are to be put in outside the school
heart was in the right place and whatever he did he did from
and even though councillors have voiced their opposition to
conviction and with belief - there was no falsehood in him.
road humps per se, we cannot wait to see the humps in situ
He leaves this village the richer for having known him but
and would like to see more strategically placed elsewhere.
the poorer for his absence.
Something must be done to slow the traffic in general and
these tractors in particular. Complaints reach our ears from
a number of varying sources. Some complaints voiced with
The centre of the storm is very often the only safe hiding place,
sorrow and some with anger. To those who live on Fore
matrimonially speaking.
Street, especially near to a bend, these juggernauts are an
Mike Hodges
ever present danger too often during the year.
Vol. A.R. 8 6 March 2008

Tall Tales for Tinies said than done!”

Two hours later Alfonso, who had never left the Palace,
came into the room. He made it quite clear to the King
KINGFAT - CROWNFAT
that he would only be helped if he promised to become
a nicer King. Alfonso had a long list of things the King
Once upon a time there was a King. A fat King. A very
had to accept. The King shouted and blustered and cried
very fat King. He was so fat that his hat was twice the
and demanded and kicked his legs and had tantrums of all
normal size. He was so fat that he could not fit into any of
sorts but in the end he signed all the necessary documents
his Crowns. His Kingdom was not very big and there was
and was helped back to his feet. The new regime of diet,
not enough money for him to pay for a new Crown. He
exercise, careful money handling and paying his way soon
was very sad. His nearest adviser had suggested that he
had the King slim fit, and very well liked. Bigbadbold
could melt down two or three of his old Crowns to make
tried to invade but he was chased away because none of
a new one. He got very angry and sent the man to work in
his citizens liked him.
the salt mines. This made him sadder still because he had
thought that the man was his friend. Now he knew that
§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
the adviser had been a snake in the grass.
“Can I rely on no-one?” he roared. “All I want is a simple
It is with delight that we report on the safe return
thing – a new Crown. Its not a lot to ask!!!” He stamped
of our old friend Professor Madsa Hatta. BA (Failed).
his feet and flopped back onto his throne which broke
brings with him exciting news of animals he has seen. He
under the weight. With a loud crash he was thrown onto
writes:-
the floor and lay there like a beetle on its back - his little
In the mountains of Tanzania an entirely new
fat legs waving in the air. He was so fat that he could not
mammal has been found. It is a type of Giant Elephant
get up - he rolled around with his arms and legs flailing
Shrew or, to give it the local name, ‘Sengi’ and has been
like windmills. But still he could not get up.
named ‘Rhynochocyon Udzungwensis. The cat sized
“Send for the Queen!” he bellowed to the Captain of the
animal looks like a cross between a miniature antelope
Guard. “Sorry Sire,” said the Captain, “but she is visiting
and a small anteater. It has a grey face, long flexible snout,
her mother.” “Mother, mother, always her mother,”
bulky amber body, jet black rump and spindly legs.
shouted the King, “I might have known. Send for the
An equally enchanting animal is the Panamian
Court Physician.” “Sorry again Sire,” said the Captain,
Yellow frog which carries out all communication by way
“but he has had no salary for a year and left two weeks ago
of elaborate semaphore signals. It evolved this unique
to set up a private practice in Nedgoodland.” “Send for
attribute because it lives near rushing water and cannot
the Gentleman of the Bedchamber then.” But each time
make itself heard above the din.
the King asked for someone he was told that the person
At the other end of the World a bird, long thought
was away or had left the Kingdom altogether. “Well then
to be extinct has been found in the Tasmanian forests. The
Captain,” he ordered, “You will have to get me back on
flightless ‘Apiornis Ovopouchii’ is a semi marsupial bird in
my feet.” “Afraid not Sire,” muttered the Captain, “I am
that the female lays a single egg in an adapted fold of skin
very old and do not have the strength and only stay here
on the male birds back whence the young bird is reared
because I can’t get any work elsewhere.” “Ye Gods and
until it is self sufficient – a sort of portable nest safe from
little fishes?” the Kings voice rattled the rafters, “Is there
predators. The bird is a distant relative of the Kiwi.
no-one who has been loyal to me for my sake?” There was
Beneath the waves a southern hemisphere relative
a long silence as the Captain of the Guard looked up at the
of the pilchard the ‘Blue Mooner’ is causing excitement by
ceiling, down at his toes, into the fire place and anywhere
the electrical signals it discharges. The signals “frequency”
but at the King. “Well?” demanded the stranded King.
provides a defence against Shark attack by jamming the
The Captain replied warily, “There was one Sire, but you
predators prey finder, in effect making the ‘Blue Mooner’
sent him to the salt mines last week.” The King started
invisible. The discovery was made by the cook on a marine
to weep. “What shall I do? What shall I do?” he wailed.
research vessel, who was station hopping on a digital radio
“Get him back,” said the Captain, “and pay attention to
receiver. He picked up a signal where there should have been
his advice because if you don’t you soon will not have a
no sound. He reported the matter to the Senior Scientist
Kingdom at all.” “What do you mean?” said the King.
on board who soon isolated the signal and within twelve
“Well,” replied the Guard, “King Bigbadbold knows all
months had found the originator and the recipients.
these things and is planning to invade.” “Invade. Invade.”
Squeaked the King, “Get Alfonso the Clevergood back
TWO FACT - TWO FICTION - BUT WHICH????
from the salt mines at once.” “A pleasure Sire. No sooner
Vol. A.R. 8
Sponsored by:- C. RUDRUM & SONS (CORNWALL) Ltd. Telephone 01209 215561 or 860385
Enjoy a REAL Coal Fire supplied by a quality local Cornish Coal Merchant.
W H A T‘ S O N
CONSTANTINE AMBLERS
All walks start at Constantine Car Park
Contact re walks and weather
Geraldine on 01326 340266
Wednesday 5th March 1.30 (Walk)
Chegwin, Brill, Brillwater
Wednesday 19th March 1.30 (Walk)
Trengilly, Cott, Trewythenack
CONSTANTINE W. I.
All meetings in the W. I. Hall at 7.15 p m.
Monday 10th March
Speaker Mrs Jane Mills
Subject Instant dishes for reluctant cooks.
Competition Your favourite instant biscuit.
CONSTANTINE HISTORY GROUP
All meetings in the W. I. Hall at 7.15 pm.
Friday 14th March
Speaker Mr David Freeman
Subject Grandfather mined in America.
CONSTANTINE COTTAGE GARDEN SOCIETY
All meetings in the W. I. Hall at 7.30 pm
Thursday 13th March
Speaker Roy Knight
Subject Dahlias
CONSTANTINE ONE & ALL CLUB
All meetings in the Social Club at 2.30 pm
Saturday March 8th
What Spring Fayre.
Monday March 17th
Who Mylor Ladies Cornwall Sea Fisheries Committee.
Monday March 24th
Coach trip to Exmouth
8.50 at Hodges Butchers and 9.00 at Car Park
4 March 2008
W H A T‘ S O N
TWINNING ASSOCIATION
W. I. Hall at 7.30 pm
A. G. M. with Wine and nibbles to follow.
PORT NAVAS VILLAGE HALL
A. G. M. Monday 10th March at 6.30 pm
CONSTANTINE SOCIAL CLUB
March events
Saturday 1st. A Race night with a difference.
In aid of Carnival Funds.
Saturday 8th. Quiz night for Save the Children
Friday 14th. Feast Week Quiz night.
Saturday 15. Feast Week Disco/Dance.
Friday 28th at 7.30 pm. Bingo restarts.
ST CONSTANTINE FEAST WEEK
Feast Day Sunday 9th March
Holy Communion in the Parish Church
Tuesday 11th March in the Tolmen Centre
1.30 to 3.30 Lunch and Entertainment
Tuesday 11th March in the Tolmen Centre
7.00 pm Annual Feast Concert.
HELFORD V M C A
Saturday 15th March
Cornwall’s Shellfisheries and A. G. M.
Where Gweek Village Hall 7.30 pm
Speaker David Muirhead the Chairman of
Cost £2. Members and Children Free
Contact David on 01326 341181
Margaret on 01326 221632
Vol. A.R. 8 7 March 2008
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE KIDS WHO on a hard concrete surface.
WERE BORN IN THE 1940’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s !!
They rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked
They survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!
drank while they carried them, who took aspirin, ate blue
cheese dressing, tuna from a tin, and didn’t get tested for Local teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team.
diabetes. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment
and stayed around to help.
Baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based
paints, there were no childproof lids on medicine bottles, Breaking the law brought the wrath of Police and Parents
doors or cabinets. alike

They travelled in cars with no seat belts, no air bags and
no restriction on the life of tyres, rode bicycles without
wearing helmets, ‘hitch hiked’ all over the place often in the
back of vans or lorries loose and sometimes with assorted
livestock..
They drank water from the garden hosepipe and NOT
from a bottle, shared one soft drink with four friends, from
one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this, ate cakes,
white bread and real butter and drank pop with sugar in
it, but weren’t overweight because......THEY WERE
ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
They had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and
learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
And if YOU are one of them - CONGRATULATIONS
- You belong to one of the most inventive, resourceful,
adventurous and healthy generations ever.
§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
Letter to Editor
From Angela Stokes

They would leave home in the morning and play all day
without mobile phones, and arrive back when the streetlights
came on. No one was able to reach them all day and they
were O.K.
They would spend hours building go-carts out of scraps and
then ride down the hill, only to find out they had no brakes.
After running into the bushes a few times, they learned to
solve the problem .
They did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, video
games, 99 T.V. channels, video tape movies, surround sound,
mobile phones, text messaging, personal computers, DVD
players, Internet or Internet chat rooms..........THEY HAD
FRIENDS and went outside and found them!
They fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth, played
with worms and mud pies made from dirt, dammed streams
and got soaking wet, walked miles over private farmlands to
harvest wild fruits and no-one complained and learned to
swim, unsupervised in the local river, creek or canal.
They played Cricket with home made bats and wickets
and any ball that was handy, Rounders with home made
bats and any old ball, Football with a leather ball and coats
for goal posts, all in any field near by. ‘British Bulldogs’ and
‘Solomons Donkey’ were played in the school playground
As the owner of three small dogs I thoroughly
agree with the comments made in your article Poop Poop
De Poop. I regularly walk my dogs and always go prepared
to clear up the excrement wherever it happens.
I like to think that I have the ‘de luxe’ version of
the ‘dog walkers kit’ by carrying a small, cheap childs plastic
spade which can be used to clear up any offending matter
deposited or found on our bridleways. It only takes a few
moments to scrape up the dung and place it under brambles
to keep the paths clean for others. There are always plastic
bags in my pockets for use when walking in the village or
other public places.
I can appreciate how disgusted people feel when
they walk out onto the footpath or their front gate only to
find a pile of unsightly dog dung.
There have been occasions when I have had to face
the same problem as there is no footpath and often the grass
verges either side of my gate are used as a dumping ground
often by quite large dogs. I have even found piles of dung in
the middle of my gateway causing a hazard for any visitor.
I am sure that other people have suffered in the
same way. We are all responsible for our dogs (after all the
poor dogs can hardly say:- “I’m sorry to have gone there.”
Can they?)
So, come on dog people, let us all make an extra
effort to keep our village paths, pavements, highways and
byways ‘dung’ free.
Vol A.R. 8
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CINEMA NEWS
THE CONSTANTINE RITZ
The new incumbent at the Constantine Ritz, Dr. Llewellyn
Llewellyn ap Gryffyd Glyndwr has caused a commotion
bordering on a furore by his suggestion that he will be willing
to screen films originating in Islamic countries alongside the
usual staple fare of violence, sex and musicals from Europe,
America and Australasia. A number of national papers,
from their lofty position in the gutter, have criticised him
and called for his resignation. The complaint against him,
upheld by some of his own customers who should know
better, is that he will be swamping our precious culture with
films glorifying popular song figures like Abdul Abulbul
Emir or else will show the followers of the Islam to be as
human as everyone else.
Sidney, our one armed projectionist, says that he is all for
Shariah Law but then he thinks that is Jude Laws daughter.
He asks you, dear readers, to keep his secret safe from
Esmeranda.
§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
CASUAL
Our contact within the Over 70’s Leap Frog team tells
us that they have had such success in the past ten years
that their coffers are full to overflowing. All the members
were called to a special meeting to discuss what could be
done with the huge amount available. Suggestions ranged
from the sublime to the ridiculous and outside bodies as
beneficiaries were ruled out one by one. So, nothing for
politicians, police, teachers or nurses. Likewise extravagant
alcohol fuelled celebrations were discarded. The idea that
met with most approval was suggested by the Penpennick
twins and will be put into effect over the next months of the
closed season. Both the long course and the short course
are to be revamped to bring them up to six star standard.
Obstacles will be made larger. Corners will be tightened.
Pouncells brook will be deepened and widened with a faster
water flow. Hogmans Hangnet will be dismantled and
reset with new and vigorous gorse bushes. Benders Blind
will have a boggier surface. Upper reaches will be opened
to the wind and the hundred and twenty yard section of THIS LETTER HAS OUR SUPPORT AND
George Glutens Granite Grunt will be polished and oiled LET IT BE KNOWN THAT IF YOU UPSET
for maximum slickness.
8 March 2008
LETTER TO EDITOR
VILLAGE IN HARMONY?
It was with deep regret and intense displeasure
that I today learned of the opposition being expressed,
by some supposed loyal but misinformed members of the
community, to the application for a Premises Licence by
Constantine Primary School.
Supposedly knowledgeable allegations that the
granting of the licence will see regular ‘functions’ running
to the early hours of the morning with loud music and
excess alcohol being consumed both on and off the
premises demonstrates a totally misinformed opinion and
a jaundiced attitude. As far as I am aware no function in
recent memory has run past midnight and the school does
not currently hold, nor is eligible to hold in the future, a
licence for the sale of alcohol.
The only people that will be hurt by the withholding
of the Premises Licence will be the pupils. Nativity plays,
parent assemblies, choir rehearsals and performances, after
school clubs will all go. Choir performances at the Parish
Church, Tolmen Centre, carol singing, Carnival Day,
Garden Society, weddings, WI Christmas dinner – will be
things of the past.
The effort and enthusiasm these children put into
rehearsals and performances is recognised throughout the
South West and London, through Constantine Primary
School being selected as one of the five schools in the
county to pilot the Government ‘Sing up’ initiative. The
look of delight on the faces of the children at the pride
displayed by the parents in the audience at their periodic
performances is a sight that once seen is never forgotten.
Additionally the experience they gain through learning to
work as part of a team, the discipline and commitment that
they are required to display, and the responsibility they
exhibit stay with them for life. I urge any right minded
supporter of the community, and the future generations
that are being nurtured at Constantine School, to reject
any association with this misguided, ill thought through
petition that is being circulated.
Alison Churchley
ALISON CHURCHLEY YOU UPSET THE
GWEDER MYRAS. EDITOR.