Part I - Read & Describe

Descriptive Outline Template

Proposition Creativity is being smothered by the need for schools to acquire good scores on
these exams.

Plan Use two sources to explain how and why standardized tests limit creativity by
saying that review for standardized tests is emphasized too much and wastes time
and that test results are inaccurate.

P1 Says Standardized testing is bad.

P1 Does Gives personal narrative of experience with standardized testing.

P2 Says Standardized tests take up time used for creativity and wisdom.

P2 Does Uses Sternbergs three reasons why creativity and wisdom shouldnt be shoved
aside in schools as done through standardized testing

P3 Says Standardized tests impact the quality of education for students causing some to
drop out or go to special education programs after falling under an expectation.

P3 Does Uses Mulholland to show that standardized tests pressure students and teachers to
get good results but not actually gain any true value and that the actual tests do
not read an accurate measurement of intelligence.

P4 Says Schools should create an involved and creative environment instead of focusing
on standardized testing.

P4 Does Uses questions to broaden the conversation and consider what it would be like if
things were different.
Part II - Evaluative Response

Hey Emma!

I really like your ideas expressed in this essay and think its definitely an important topic! Here are some
things I think could make your essay even stronger:

Introduction I definitely understood the position you took based on your proposition in the
introduction but think that the entire paragraph could flow more easily. The narrative doesnt really talk
about how youve felt a lack of creativity due to standardized testing, it just describes the stress and
problems it brought. You can improve your narrative by connecting it to where youve directly felt a lack
of creativity due to standardized testing and then that would tie in more clearly to your proposition.

Proposition I think your proposition is great, its definitely arguable and generalized. The operative
words are creativity, schools, scores, and exams and they clarify the purpose of the proposition. While
this doesnt necessarily have to do with the proposition, I wanted to add it in here. When writing out the
descriptive outline I originally had trouble really seeing the differences between what the second and third
paragraphs say. While theyre different by the source I think they sort of overlap with reasoning
conversations.

General Conversation/Transitional Generalizations Your transitional generalization in the second

paragraph is good but should also relate to creativity to immediately tell your reader what youll be
discussing in this paragraph. I, personally, like that the third paragraph begins with a question and
transitions the conversation to how it affects students but am not sure if this works as an effective
transitional generalization since it doesnt really reach back to your proposition or use operative words

Narrative/Reasoning Conversation I think that you could perhaps use some more reasoning
conversation in both of your body paragraphs, a lot of it simply working and reframing your sources.
Also, at the end of your second paragraph, you could add more details about the three reasons for
creativity and wisdom and perhaps add an example of one rather than just listing all three. An example
could be super useful here. Similarly, in the third paragraph I think it would be super interesting to present
someone who has been failed by the standardized testing system or No Child Left Behind and became
stuck in their life due to the inhibitions they found from testing.

Conclusion I actually also ended my conclusion with a grouping of questions (which youve probably
noticed) but realize that a final conclusive sentence is probably most effective following the questions.
Since you explained the situation throughout your entire essay, I think it would be most beneficial to
suggest an alternative to standardized testing and explain how that would promote creativity and wisdom.

I hope these points are helpful!

Zuzka