Managing Yourself and Others

Session Three
Margaret Andrews & Dayna Catropa
Harvard University, Division of Continuing Education

February 10, 2017

 Agenda

Welcome!

Icebreakers/Introductions

Managing Yourself / Emotional Intelligence (EI)

Name Game

Short Assignment Introduction

 Name
Where Work / What Do
Something Not On Your Resume
Why MYLO? (What do you want to learn /
take away?)
Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength, mastering yourself is true power.
Lao Tsu, 6th Century BC

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.

Aristotle (384 BC 322 BC)

Observe all men; thy self most.

Benjamin Franklin (Poor Richards Almanac, 1740)
Traits / Attributes of Your Best Manager or Mentor
Three Domains of Competence

Emotional
Intelligence

IQ Technical
Skills
 Daniel Goleman on Emotional Intelligence

Why EI is important?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?
feature=player_detailpage&v=wJhfKYz
Kc0s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=wJhfKYzKc0s
 Setting the EI stage

INTENTIONS EMOTIONS BEHAVIORS IMPACT

YOU OTHERS
We judge ourselves by our INTENTIONS.

Others judge us by the impact of our BEHAVIOR.

EMOTIONS BEHAVIORS

The Institute for Health and Human Potential, EI for Personal

Leadership Workbook v12
 Thinking Mind vs Feeling Mind
Cognitive System Neo Cortex Limbic System Amygdala

- IQ resides here - Site of emotional learning builds circuits

- Site of working memory (neuro pathways)
- Complex thought - Response 100X faster than cognitive
system
- Answers critical question of human
survival (fight or flight)

The Institute for Health and Human Potential, EI for

Personal Leadership Workbook v12
 Self Awareness
How does your body tell you that you are stressed?
Face:
flush, red, sweating, cold, ashen,

Breath:
shortened, rapid, shallow,

Hands:
sweaty, hot, cold, swelled,

Eyes:
intense, red, watery, focused, furrowed brow,

Body:
crossed arms, tense muscles, sitting upright, back straight, increased heart rate, burst of energy, drop of raise of blood
pressure,..

Tone of Voice:
loud, hard, harsh, shortened words, limited vocabulary,

Mind:
racing, focused, pounding headache, scattered,
 Amygdala Hijack

Body response
- Increase in heart rate
- Shift in breathing
- Narrowing of focus
HIJACK
- Body in high alert

Decrease in working
memory
- 4 variables to 1
4! to 3! = 75% loss
4x3x2x1 = 24 3x2x1 = 6
- Unaddressed effects last
for 18 minutes

The Institute for Health and Human Potential, EI for Personal

Leadership Workbook v12
 Amygdala Hijack

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9u3UvXqArqs
 Dealing with an Amygdala Hijack: SOSS
SOSS
S STEP BACK

O OXYGENATE

S STRENGTHEN FEELINGS OF GRATITUDE

S SEEK INFORMATION
The Institute for Health and Human Potential, EI for Personal Leadership Workbook v12
 Non-triggering Questions
What happened?

What was that like for you?

What did you do?

What was happening for you in that moment?

So when this happened, you felt _______?

What about that triggered you?

What was your intention?

What do you think its about?

What information might you have been lacking?

What was going on for them?

What emotional need do you think wasnt being met?

What might have been a more skillful response?

 Emotional Intelligence

Relationship
Management

Visionary leadership
Social Awareness Influence
Developing others
Communication
Empathy Change catalyst
Self-Management Organizational awareness Conflict management
Service orientation Building bonds
Teamwork and collaboration
Self-control
Self-Awareness Trustworthiness
Adaptability
Achievement orientation
Emotional self-awareness Initiative
Accurate self-assessment
Self-confidence

Source: Leadership That Gets Results, by Daniel Goleman, Harvard Business Review, March-April 2000
 Emotional Intelligence In Practice
SELF SOCIAL
Self-Awareness Social Awareness
Emotional self-awareness Empathy
Accurate self-assessment Organizational Awareness
AWARENESS

Self-confidence Service Orientation

Emotional
Intelligence
MANAGEMENT

Self-Management Relationship Management

Self-control Inspirational Leadership/vision
Trust-worthiness Developing Others, Influence
Adaptability Building Bonds, Conflict Mngt
Achievement Drive, Initiative Teamwork and Collaboration

http://www.psychometric-success.com/emotional-intelligence/emotional-intelligence-in-business.htm
 Emotional Intelligence & Leadership Styles
Coercive Authoritative Affiliative
Phrase Do what I tell you. Come with me. People come first.

EI Drive to achieve, initiate, self- Self-confidence, empathy, Empathy, building

control change catalyst relationships, communication

Works In crisis, turnaround, w/ Clear direction or new vision Heal rifts, motivate people
problem employees needed during stressful circumstances
Climate Negative Most strongly positive Positive
Impact
Democratic Pacesetting Coaching
Phrase What do you think? Do as I do. Now. Try this.

EI Collaboration, team leadership, Conscientiousness, drive to Developing others, empathy,

communication achieve, initiative self-awareness

Works Build buy-in or consensus, get Get quick results from highly- Help individual improve
input from valuable employees motivated, competent team performance, develop long-term
Climate Positive Negative Positive
Impact
Source: Leadership That Gets Results, by Daniel Goleman, Harvard
Business Review, March-April 2000
 Importance of Impulse Control

Dont eat the marshmallow: http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/joachim_de_posada_says_don_t_eat_the_marshmallow_yet.html

Article of Interest
Questions
Break
Name Game
A Short Assignment

Six-Word Memoir
 Named Hope. How else to be?
Hope Hall

Revenge is living well,

without you.
Joyce Carol Oates Followed white rabbit.
Became black sheep.
Gabrielle Maconi
Six kids; life stranger
than fiction
Deborah Carson
Outcast. Picked last.
Surprised them all.
Rachel Pine
I write because I cant sleep.
Ben Mezrich

Should have used

condom that time.
Rob Bigelow Many risky mistakes,
very few regrets
Source: Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six Word Memoirs By Writers Famous and Obscure, Edited by Smith Magazine Richard Schnedl Page
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