Choice Theory Tool Box

Overview:
Choice Theory is a present-focused, relationship-based theory that believes that everyone wants
to be happy, and the keys to this are having satisfying relationships and making good choices.

I. Start with a theoretical understanding:

The Axioms of Choice Theory

1. The only person whose behavior you can control is yourself.

2. All we can give another person is information.
3. All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems.
4. The problem relationship is always part of our present life.
5. What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but we can only
satisfy our basic needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future.
6. We can only satisfy our needsand become happierby satisfying and
strengthening the pictures and relationships we place in our Quality World.
7. All we do is behave, and all behavior is Total Behavior and is made up of our
components: acting, thinking, feeling, and physiology.
8. All Total Behavior is chosen, but we only have direct control over the acting
and thinking components. We can only control our feelings and physiology indirectly
through how we choose to act and think.
9. All Total Behavior is designated by verbs and named by the part that is the most
recognizable.

II. Next learn about Choice Theory:

A. Personalizing the Basic Human Needs

To gain an understanding of how the needs motivate your behavior, complete the activity below.

In each quadrant, list the people, places, and activities that help you meet each of the
psychological needs: love & belonging, power, freedom, fun, and survival. You may want to list
the same need-fulfilling person, place, or activity more than once. What do you notice about the
ways you meet your needs?
 Basic Needs

Love & Belonging Freedom

Power Fun

Survival

B. Total Behavior

Needs Choices

1. Doing (Acting) 3. Feelings

2. Thinking 4. Physiology
 C. My Quality World
To gain a clearer understanding of your personal Quality World, answer a few of the following:

1. Who are the most important people in your life?

2. What are your most deeply held values?
3. If you become the person you would ideally like to be, what traits or characteristics
would you have?
4. What is an accomplishment that you are really proud of?
5. If you could have the perfect job, what would that be?
6. If you were independently wealthy, what would you do with your time?
7. Describe a time in your life you would call a peak experience.
8. What does it mean to be a friend?
9. What brings a significant amount of meaning to your life?
10. What, for you, makes a house a home?

What have you learned about your Quality World? About Quality World pictures in general?

D. Creativity
Although most people will never have a need to explore this aspect of Choice Theory, some will. Most
people can temporarily lose themselves in their own creativity, helping themselves produce high quality
work, but they then tune down their creativity to rejoin the world after they are finished. Unfortunately,
sometimes people become amazingly disconnected, and while they search for a way to strengthen their
basic needs, they wind up getting lost in their own creativity, preventing them from seeing the world
accurately. Even though this limits their success at creating new, meaningful relationships, they can still
do so, which will also help them get their creativity back under control.

III. Problems with Your Relationships?

* Trying to replace the Seven Deadly Habits with the Seven Caring Habits is the most
critical aspect of improving relationships.

Seven Caring Habits Seven Deadly Habits

Supporting Criticizing
Encouraging Blaming
Listening Complaining
Accepting Nagging
Trusting Threatening
Respecting Punishing
Negotiating differences Bribing or rewarding to control

People use the Seven Deadly Habits because they want to take control of situations. Why?
It is faster than using the Seven Caring Habits, but using the Seven Deadly Habits will
diminish the value of the relationship over time.
IV. Use Choice Theory by Applying Reality Therapy to Your Situation.
Tune into WDEP.
W = Wants. Explore your mental picture album for the things you want the most. Use the
Quality World exercise in the tool box.
D = Direction and Doing. Examine your Total Behavior. What are you doing currently to get
what you want?
E = Evaluation. Is what you are doing going to get you what you want? Evaluate every action.
Compare your current life with your Quality World.
P = Planning. If you are not happy, you can change what you want, change what you are doing,
or both. However, doing what you have always done will only get you what you have always
gotten. Make plans that better meet your needs. The plan should be Simple, Attainable,
Measurable, Immediate, Controlled by the planner, Consistent, and Committed to.

V. Theory Summary
-Present-focused, relationship-based theory that believes that everyone wants to be
happy
-Keys = having satisfying relationships and making good choices
-The only person an individual can control is himself or herself
-All actions are chosen (often subconsciously) in an attempt to satisfy basic needs
-We often choose to use harmful habits in an attempt to control people to satisfy
our basic needs and immediate desires, effectively breaking down the
relationships needed to promote happiness.
-Anyone who chooses to consciously create and use caring habits in place of
harmful ones can satisfy their basic needs, build stronger relationships, and
promote greater individual happiness.

VI. Learn More:

Books:
Glasser, W. (1998). Choice Theory. New York: Harper Collins.
Glasser, W. (2002). For Parents and Teenagers: Dissolving the Barrier Between You and Your Teen.
New York. Harper Collins.
Wubbolding, R.E. (2000). Reality Therapy for the 21st Century. Philadelphia, PA: Brunner-Routledge.
Web Sites:
The William Glasser Institute: www.wglasser.com

This packet was originally compiled by Dan Lawrence, Ph.D., professor at the University of Detroit-Mercy, and then
revised by Joe George, LLPC, middle school counselor at the Anglo-American School of Moscow. Full permission is
given to copy this packet, using it as counselors see fit.