POLYTECHNIC UNIVERSITY OF THE PHILIPPINES

COLLEGE OF SOCIAL SCIENCES AND DEVELOPMENT

DEPARTMENT OF PSYCHOLOGY
MABINI, CAMPUS

SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY

AYALA, ANDREE MHICO

EBUEZA, RIA
ESPELA, RACHELLE
MORAL, CHATLETTE KARL
PASCUA, JASMINE JOY
SAN MIGUEL, DJANELLE MEI
TANCONGCO, RIONEAL HAVEN

BS PSYCHOLOGY 3 4
PROF. MARIA LUZ CENTENO

SY 2016 2017

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 Rationale
The seminar-workshop is designed to teach the participants through group
dynamics on why humans are attracted to one another. This also aims to give them
an experiential learning about intimacy, loving and liking others.

Objectives of the Program

At the end of the seminar workshop, the participants are expected to:

1. Understand the concepts of attraction, intimacy, loving and liking others.

2. Value and nurture the relationships that they have.
3. Apply all the concepts in their daily life.

Methodology and Strategies

In three hours seminar-workshop, there will be an experiential learning with
the participants and this includes: group dynamics, discussion and sharing.

They will be exposed to simulation activities so they will realize each concept
of attraction and intimacy, liking and loving others.

Description of the method and strategy

MAIN TOPIC:

ATTRACTION AND INTIMACY: LIKING AND LOVING OTHERS

Aristotle called humans the social animal. Indeed, we have what todays social
psychologists call a need to belong -- to connect with others in enduring, close relationships.

SUB TOPICS
FRIENDSHIPS & ATTRACTION
(Proximity, Physical Attractiveness, Similarity vs. Complementarity, Liking Those Who Like
Us & Relationship Rewards)

WHAT IS LOVE?
(Companionate love & Passionate love)

MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS
(Attachment, Equity & Self Disclosure)

ENDING RELATIONSHIP

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 (The Detachment Process)

Overview:
What leads to friendship and attraction?

Reward Theory of Attraction: Attraction toward others is a function of

the reinforcements we experience when we are with the person.

Four Main Areas of Attraction: Proximity, Physical attractiveness, Similarity

versus Complementarily , Liking Those Who Like Us

Proximity

Proximity is better thought of as functional distance (how often

people's paths cross). Functional distance strongly predicts liking.

Anticipation of interaction: Just expecting to interact with someone

leads us to like them more. In essence, we are setting the environment for
behavioral confirmation. If we expect to like someone, the interaction should
go more smoothly.

Mere Exposure: The more we see something the more we like it (as
long as exposure isnt incessant). The mere-exposure effect is adaptive, a
"hardwired" phenomenon that predisposes our attractions & attachments &
helps us keep away from danger. Downside: wariness of the unfamiliar.

Physical attractiveness

Appearance does matter! The consistency & pervasiveness of "good

looks" is disconcerting.

Research indicates that the more attractive a female is, the more
likely she is to date. The effect is slightly less strong for males.

The Matching Phenomenon: Couples (even friends) tend to be

relatively equal in attractiveness. When the partners are not relatively equal
in attractiveness, the less attractive partner usually compensates on some
other factor (e.g., very wealthy older men marrying beautiful young women).

The Physical Attractiveness Stereotype: That which is beautiful, is

good. People within a culture, assume that attractive people have the traits
that are valued by that culture. Adults & children are biased toward
attractive people.

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 Who is attractive? To be really attractive is to be perfectly average.
Symmetrical & average faces are seen as most attractive. To become more
attractive average features are exaggerated (e.g., fuller lips and larger eyes
in a women).

Evolution and Attraction: What is beautiful in women generally

indicates fertility. In men, attractive traits tend to indicate the ability to
provide & protect.

The contrast effect: What's attractive to you depends on your

comparison standards. Men find most women to be less attractive after
watching really attractive women on TV. Men find their spouses less
attractive after viewing centerfolds or pornographic films. This is true for
your self-perceptions also, people find themselves less attractive after
viewing other more attractive people.

The Attractiveness of Those We Love: Although we like attractive

people more, we also tend to find people we like to be attractive! The more
in love we are with someone, the more attractive we view them, & the less
attractive we view others of opposite sex.

Similarity versus Complementarity

Birds of a feather do flock together. Likeness begets liking. The greater

number of shared attitudes, the more likable you find the person, particularly
if you like yourself! Of course, the opposite is also true, we tend to dislike
those who hold different opinions than us.

Complementarity: The popularly supposed tendency, in a

relationship between two people, for each to complete what is missing in the
other.

Liking Those Who Like Us

Does liking a person cause that person to like us? Yes.

Rebound Effect: Attacks on a persons self-esteem (from someone

else) can lead them to like a person more as a result. Women who received
critical personality assessments rated an attractive male confederate as
being more likeable than those who received a positive evaluation.

Our Need To Belong

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 Our need to belong is illustrated by the effects of ostracism.
Ostracism generally refers to informal modes of exclusion from a group
through shunning. Shunning is the act of deliberately avoiding association
with, & habitually keeping away from an individual. To thwart our need to
belong is to unsettle our life.

What is love?

Psychologist Robert
Sternberg views love as a triangle,
whose three sides consist of
passion, intimacy, & commitment.

Passionate Love is
emotional, exciting, & intense.
Elaine Hatfield (1988) defined it as
a state of intense longing for
union with another. Passionate
love is mostly expressed in a
physical manner while maintaining
an exclusive relationship.

Schacter & Singers Two Factor theory, is a theory of emotion suggesting

that human emotion has two components (factors): physiological arousal &
cognition (a conscious understanding of that arousal). According to the
theory, "cognitions are used to interpret the meaning of physiological
reactions to outside events." It appears that physical arousal from any source
intensifies feelings of passion.

Time & culture both have an affect on the love formed in a relationship, e.
g. In non-Western cultures, love often follows marriage.

Gender: Men tend to fall more readily in love & seen to fall out of love
more slowly, Men are less likely to break up a premarital romance. Women
may be more emotionally involved & are more focused on the intimacy of the
relationship & on concern for their partner.

Companionate Love is best defined as a passionate love that has settled

to a warm enduring love between the two partners in a relationship.

Psychologist Robert
Sternberg conception of the
kinds of loving as

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 combinations of the 3 basic
components of love.

In his 1973 book

The Colors of Love, John Lee
compared styles of love to
the color wheel. Just as there
are three primary colors, Lee
suggested three primary &
three secondary styles.

Primary: Eros self-disclosing passion

Ludos Love as a game
Storge Love as friendship

Secondary Mania (Eros + Ludos) Obsessive love

Pragma (Ludos + Storge) Realistic & practical love
Agape (Eros + Storge) Selfless love

Maintaining Close Relationships

Equity theory: the idea that people are happiest with relationships in which
the rewards & costs experienced & the contributions made by both parties
are roughly equal.

Long-term equity is achieved by not focusing on who owes who in a

relationship. When one partner provides the other with their needs, a form of
return in not expected. Being able to look past & not feel that a debt is owed,
is what allows the relationship to last.

Self-Disclosure

Deep, Companionate relationships allow us to feel accepted for who we

are. An important part in the growth of a relationship is the self-disclosure
process. Exposing ones innermost thoughts & weaknesses helps to nurture
love. The nature of the disclosures steadily progresses in a increasing
fashion, due to disclosure reciprocity (disclosure begets disclosure).

Carl Rogers (1980) identified 3 factors which make growth promoting

listeners effective (at eliciting disclosure): people who are

- genuine in revealing their own feelings.

- accepting of other peoples feelings.
- empathetic & sensitive listeners.

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 Internet Effects

The internet provides a pathway for computer-mediated communication

within virtual communities, it is not the real thing, & does not work as well as
the real thing.

The "digital divide" accentuates social & educational

inequalities. "Balkanization" (diversity of viewpoints both good & bad) is built
into the system. From the work of Robert Putnam: Bowling Alone: The
Collapse and Revival of American Community (2000, ISBN 0-7432-0304-6).

Ending Relationships

Often, when people perceive a relationship to be unequal, they will end

the relationship. The closer & longer the relationship has lasted, the more
painful the breakup.

Who Divorces: Individualistic Cultures (where love is a feeling not an

obligation) have more divorce than do communal cultures.

People usually stay married if they:

- Have a stable income

- Were married after age 20
- Are religiously committed
- Are well and similarly educated
- Date a long while before marriage
- Are of similar age, faith, and education
- Both grew up in stable, two-parent homes
- Did not cohabitate or become pregnant before marriage

The Detachment Process: Severing bonds produces a predictable

sequence of agitated preoccupation with the lost partner, followed by deep
sadness &, eventually, the beginnings of emotional detachment & a return to
normal living. From the work of Hazan & Shaver (1994).

Activities:

Mood Setting Activity: Heart to nose challenge

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Activity 1: The Boat is Sinking
Objectives:
To know the importance of proximity, physical attractiveness & similarity vs.
complementarity.

Mechanics:
1. This can be composed of as many as possible participants.
2. Participants should group themselves according to the facilitator is asking.
3. The facilitator should plan to eliminate at least one person per round.
4. Eliminated players must then return to their respective places.
5. Rounds will continue until the final round.
6. The last group of persons depending on the facilitator will win the game.

Activity 2: I like you, Thank You Activity

Objectives:
- To express their love to their friend or partner by giving a simple gift.

- To let them feel that someone like them and value them.

-To emphasize that liking someone is a mutual feeling.

Materials:

2 Candies (1 candy = I like you, 1 candy = Thank you)

Mechanics:

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 1. Everyone will have 2 pieces of candies with the message I like you and
Thank you.

2. They have to give the first candy which is the one with I like you message to
someone they like inside the room. (Note: Everyone should receive one
candy from their classmates).

3.They have to return the second candy with the message Thank you to the
person who gave the first candy.

Activity 3: Marshmallow Toothpick Tower

Objectives:
To know the elements of close relationships.
Materials:
14 marshmallows (per group), 25 tooth pick (per group)
Mechanics:
1. The class will group themselves into 4 according to their friends.
2. The group will assign a leader.
3. The group will be given a minute on how will execute their marshmallow
toothpick tower.
4. The tower should be done using14 mallows and 25 toothpicks for 10
minutes. (Note: Materials for tower making should be used ALL and the
tower should stand firm.)
5. The group will make a decision on who will receive the rewards and who is
not.
6. After the game, the group will form a circle. Each member of the group will
decide on who and what colored hearts they will give to each of the
members. Each colored hearts corresponds to different meaning.
Color Meanings
Pink: Pleasure, desire, vitality, will to win, love of sports and the survival instinct.
The warm colors red, orange and yellow are considered stimulating colors.
Orange: Creativity, confidence, intuition, friendliness and the entrepreneurial spirit.
Yellow: Enthusiasm, cheerfulness, sense of humor, fun, optimism and
intellectuality.

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Green: Perseverance, patience, growth and healing. Green is also related to work,
wealth and career.

Activity 4: Turn Away from EX

Objectives:

-To build trust with each other in attaining their goal.

Materials:

-Blindfold

Mechanics:

1. All the participants should have a partner. (Note: One of them should wear a
blindfold).
2. The participant who wears the blindfold will carry his/her partner until they
reach the finish line. However they should not step on the cross line that is
scattered on the floor).
3. The participant who does not wear a blindfold should guide his/her partner
until they reach the finish line.

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Activity 5: Dementors
Objectives:

-To test how strong they can maintain their relationships.

-To see if they can learn the process of detachment.

Mechanics:

1. All the participants will be as one team. (Note: This will symbolize their
relationship).
2. There will be a rectangular base where they can stay as their base. (Note:
They cannot cross the lines of the rectangular base. If someone crosses the
lines, they will need to detach from the team).
3. The facilitators will trigger their emotions so that there will be a possibility for
the participants to quit the activity. (Note: This will serve as a challenge to
their relationship and its their choice to give up or to remain as one till the
end).

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Activity 6: Appreciation Circle
Objectives:

-To make the participants feel how self-disclosure happens.

-To help the participants be open about their feelings.

Mechanics:

1. All the participants will form a big circle with a yarn that is rolled on their
finger. (Note: The yarn will be their remembrance and a symbol that will
remind them that once in their life they have shared something about
themselves).
2. All the participants will give a message for everyone. This could be a
thank you message, a sorry message or an i love you message.

Schedule of Activities
TIME ACTIVITIES
3:00-3:15 Registration
3:15-3:30 Opening Ceremony, Prayer, Introduction of Facilitators
3:30-3:40 Mood Setting Activity: Heart to nose challenge
3:40-4:00 Friendship: The boat is sinking
4:00-4:20 I like you, Thank you Activity

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 4:20-4:40 Marshmallow Toothpick Tower
4:40-5:10 Turn away from EX, Dementors
5:10-5:30 Appreciation Circle
5:30-5:40 Closing Remarks, Giving of Certificates and Foods

People Responsible
Facilitators: Andree Mhico Ayala, Ria Ebueza, Rachelle Espela, Chatlette Karl
Moral, Jasmine Joy Pascua, Djanelle Mei San Miguel and Rioneal Haven Tancongco
Professor: Maam Ma. Luz J. Centeno

Material Needs
A. Equipment: Speaker for music
B. Materials: Backdrop, Ballons, Chalk, Heart shape papers, Tape, Marshmallows,
toothpicks, Yarn

Budget
MATERIALS AMOUNT
Decorations 350
Foods 400
Certificates, nametags and Token of appreciation 350
Other expenses 300
TOTAL: 1, 4000

Source of Budget
All the expenses are from the contribution of all the facilitators.

Evaluation of the Program

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Note: 1 being the lowest and 4 being the highest.

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