What Is the Self?

Michael D. Moga, S.J.

In Chapter 8 we followed various paths which opened up for us a sense of our individual
selves. These paths have revealed to us that the self is a reality which has a very distinctive
character, something which is far different from everything else which we know. We are
challenged at this time to clarify the nature of this self. What precisely is its character?

The attempt to understand the character of the self is not an easy one. For the self is a
reality which is mysterious and complex. In the history of thought there have been many
widely different descriptions of the self made by philosophers.

There have been philosophers who have claimed that the self simply does not exist at all.
These philosophers have been led to such a position by the fact that there is no precise
object of experience that we can point to which is the self. Such an approach is mistaken
because it presumes that only objects exist. For in experience we are not only of objects but
also of subjects. We are aware not only of things which are known (objects) but also
knowers, subjects which know these things.

Of course our awareness of subjects is different from our awareness of objects. A subject
never stands in front us the way that an object does. When we are aware of our subjectivity
we are aware of something which stands in the background, something which is behind our
knowing and feeling and willing. Our awareness of our subjectivity is an indirect awareness.
Since our self is basically a subject our awareness of it will necessarily be indirect.

Another philosophical position affirms that the self is made up entirely of a stream of
consciousness, a constant flow of many

being ten years in the future. This sense of permanence is based in a vague way in the
permanence of the physical organism which is me. This physical organism, separate from
all others, maintains a certain identity throughout passage of time. There may be changes in
this organism but they are minor ones and not essential.

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This experience of self as "ego" emphasizes the separateness of human existence. As an

ego I am set apart from everything else an opposed to everything else. No one else and no
other thing is precisely "here" where I am. This separateness is revealed in the privateness
of the ego's experiences. As an ego I sense that no one else has the experience of seeing
what I see and feeling what I feel. Conversely, as an ego I do not experience seeing what
other egos see and feeling what they feel. All the experiences of an ego self are contained
within a certain area of consciousness. This within is cut off from what is without; the world
of outside things and the world of other people.

Because of this experience of separateness there is a quality of hiddenness about the life of
an ego self. I am hidden from other people and other people are hidden from me. I mist
struggle if I want to overcome this gap between us and to understand others. Similarly, as
an ego I look out at a physical world which is basically hidden from me. With my human
sciences I try to devise and formulate theories which attempt to explain this world to me.
But all such theories are inadequate and I am left with an uncomfortable feeling of being
surrounded by a dark world which of the most part is hidden from me.

In contrast with the hiddenness of the outside world the ego finds that his inner world is
open and obvious. His world of thought, sensation and emotion are immediately present to
him in perfect clarity. Rationalistic philosophers speak of ideas found in this inner world
whose clarity and distinctness force one to assent to their truth. Empirical philosophers
speak of simple sense impressions or ideas found in consciousness which can never deceive
us. These inner experiences are perfectly recognized and understood.

Contemporary man, caught up in the separateness of his life as an ego self, often complains
of the experience of "alienation." He feels that he is a stranger who is not at home with
other people, with the world of nature and with God. There is a gap separating him from
everything else, a gap which can never be overcome and which brings pain.

This ego self is experienced as permanent. As an ego self I am the same human being that I
was ten years ago and I will be the same human

The Possibility of Identification

Our rather mysterious characteristics of the ego self is its ability to identify itself with
various other realities. The presence which is the ego can like a cloud extend out beyond
itself, enveloping and including our things. For instance, I usually identify myself with my
body and have the experience that my body is me. I experience sickness when my body is
sick and I feel proud when my body is praised. Similarly I also usually identify myself with
my accomplishments and feel shame at my failures and pride at my success.

Because the ego self, as a presence, extends out in identification and envelop other things
the ego is affected by whatever happens to these things. I feel sad when my team loses for
my team is somehow me. I feel elated when someone in my family experiences success
for my family is somehow me. When my home is robbed I feel a personal violation. The
fact that the experience of sadness or elation in these cases was immediate shows that I am
intimately identified with these realities. There is no experience here of a process of thought
where I first observe what happens to other things and then connect that happening with
myself.

There continues to be an inner world an outer world in this experience of identification. The
inner world which is me are all those thing with which I identify myself: my body, my
accomplishments, my family, my home, my country, my teams, my barkada, my religion.
The outer world is made up of everything else, all those things with which I do not identify.

The Living of Roles

One other way that we experience the ego self is through the roles that we live in our lives.
These roles gives us a sense of who we are.

An actor in a drama is given a certain role to play and he identifies himself with his role,
understanding himself as hero or villain. While he is acting he sets aside his own selfhood
and assumes the selfhood of the role. His role gives him the way that he talks, the way that
he feels and the attitudes that he is to show toward other people.

Like the actor in a drama, each of us is given roles to play in our lives. We have a role in our
family (mother father, older brother, older sister, etc.), we have a role in school (student or
teacher), we have a role in our barkada, we play a particular role in our work (security,
nurse, businessman, etc.). These roles give us a certain self- understanding guiding what we
do and how we do it. There is a distinctive pattern of activity which is given me by each role
that I play. If, for instance, I have the role of a housewife there are certain things that I know
that I should do.

In a drama the actor only plays the role for a while and then sets it aside after his acting is
completed. But in our human lives our roles become our permanent selves. If someone were
to ask me who I am I would very likely answer by giving the roles that I live.
My role contributes many things to my life. It guides me, first of all, into assuming certain
attitudes toward life and other people. (The role of a housewife, for instance, includes being
concerned about ones family). The role also give a very clear and set meaning to my life.
From my role, I have a sense of my purpose in my life. It also gives me a sense of distinct
self-identity, setting me apart from others. While I am caught up in a particular role I have a
clear sense of who I am, an identity which is closely connected with the activity or function
that I perform.

This role way being a self is a type of ego self. When playing a role I am inside it and look
upon all other people from the viewpoint of that role. For instance, as a security guard I see
all people as possible thieves, as a politician I see people as voters who might support me,
as a businessman I see people as possible customers, as a clergyman I see people as
persons whom I might minister to.

A role can be limiting in it I live as someone playing one particular role, a role that dominates
my life. There is the possibility in life of moving outside of ones role but sometimes this is
very difficult. A teacher can tend to treat everyone she meets the way that she treats her
students. A doctor can look upon his own family with the viewpoint of a doctor. Although a
role enriches human life with the meaning it gives it can also constrict life by confining it to
one limited way of functioning.

The Self as Person

Besides being an ego I can also be a self by being a person. This "personal" self is very
different from the ego self. As a person I sense myself as a free individual in control of a life
that moves forward through time caught up in various involvements with others. As a free
person I develop a life which is "mine," something which I am responsible for. This sense of
my personhood is very much connected with the involvements and relationships which make
up my life. It is also very much connected with the particular meaning that is given to my life
by my self-image. Let us consider in detail these various aspects of human personhood.

The Person as Historical

I experience my personal self in terms of "my life," that context of personal history which is
always there in the background of my awareness. Everything that happens to me is part of
this life. It includes various dimensions:

-a past. My past is made up of everything that is the basis for what I experience now. It
includes those past experiences which have left a permanent mark on my life, those
influences from my family and culture which have permanently affected me as well as those
significant decisions which I have made in the past.

-a future. My future is made up of everything that I reach out for. It includes the goals of
my life, what it is that I want, what it is that I am concerned about, and that which is
important in my life. As a person I exist as someone reaching out toward these goals and
values and concerns.

-a present. My present is made up of the concrete situation that I am now in with its
expectations, moods and meanings. This is the situation where, influenced by my past and
responding to present influences, I decisively move forward.

This total situation makes up who I am as a historical person. If I wished to reveal my inner
self to a friend I would tend to present these three dimensions. I would tell this friend about
my experiences of the past. I would speak up my hopes for the future. I would speak of the
challenges of my present situation and the decisions that I am in the process of making.

As a person I am not someone who has these three dimensions but I am the dimensions
themselves. I am my life, my history.

The Person as Relatedness

Another form that the person takes is that of relatedness. Here the reality of my self is
found in the relationships that are found in my life. Who am I? I am this individual who is
involved in concrete relationships with my family, my friends, my co-workers and my God.

The presence of this related self is shown in the way that we talk about our families and
friends when we open up to other people and attempt to be personal. On such occasions
we reveal ourselves by telling about those people who are a part of our lives.

This self is not a being who relates, it is itself a complexus of relationships. Although an
individual human organism may not at a particular moment need other people in order to
exist, as a person I essentially need others and depend on them. I owe my existence as a
person to these people just as they in turn owe their existence as persons to me. In my past
life other people have reached out to me and I have responded to them. On other occasions
I have reached out to others and they have responded to me. Through such interactions I
and my companions have come into being as persons.

One quality of the self as person is its openness. An ego self may be enclosed in itself,
caught up in its own private experiences. Such an ego self is very private, separated by a
distance from everyone else. The person, by contrast, is open, always reaching out and
anticipating

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myself in a way that is too idealistic I will be demanding too much of myself. If, for example,
I see myself as a perfect hero such as is found in movies I will frequently be very
disappointed in myself as I live a life which is far from heroic.

Where do such self-images come from? Many are discovered in the situations into which I am
thrown by life. I discover the preciousness of my self in the love and respect that my family,
my friends and my God have for me. I discover the limitations of my life through my
encounter with sickness and death, through my failures and through the evil actions that I
am responsible for.

Sometimes self-images are created by the basic attitudes that I assume toward life. When I
face the challenges of life with hope and courage I give a certain image or meaning to my
life. When I choose to despair and to step back from life I give a very different image to my
life. When I accept myself and the life that I have then I give a positive image to my life.
When I reject myself I thereby give a negative image to that life.

Who am I? The person that I am is found to great extent in the images that are with me in
life, images that reveal that life and guide it.

Conclusion

In our analysis if the character of the human self we gave presented two basic types, the
ego self and the person self. We have explained how the ego self can also be found in a
self where there is identification with something greater as well as in a self which plays a
role. The self as person was presented as taking three forms: ones historical dimensions,
ones human relationships and involvements and, finally, ones image.
The complexity of the self raises several questions. What is the relationship of these various
forms? Is one form of the self more basic than the others? Is one of these forms more true
than the others?